Work Text:
Izzy is having the Sunday scaries. And before Ed met Stede, Izzy might have called Ed. But Stede has taken Ed and Izzy feels his head swim while he brushes his teeth in the quiet sadness of his apartment.
Work is nothing new. There’s no new worry or fear or uncertainty. But Izzy is worried and afraid and uncertain.
Izzy stands in his bathroom breathing. In and out. Don’t call Ed. In and out. You’re a grown man, and you should be able to handle a busy calendar. In and out. Maybe if you were less of a mess, you’d have your own someone too.
He’s supposed to sit with his emotions. Izzy knows this. He’s supposed to acknowledge his emotions and not try to rationalize them. His therapist had made him a whole booklet. Like a child.
All he can do is spin in circles in his mind.
Water next. Wash his face. Soap, avoid the eyes.
Don’t call. Don’t call. Don’t call.
Stede had been good for Ed. Oh, Izzy had hated him at first. Had hated the entire idea of Ed putting someone else first. But Izzy loved Ed, had loved him from the first moment he met Ed, and after some time, Izzy had relented.
It was worse, somehow, that Stede invited him over for brunch on Sundays and Italian dinners on Tuesdays. Stede had made room for Izzy in ways that Izzy still didn’t fully accept.
Izzy sits down on his bed and thumbs at his phone. Maybe he could catch Ed before bed? Just a quick chat. Just to take the edge off.
Of course Stede answers. “He’s in the shower. Can I take a message?”
“Fuck, no. Don’t worry about it.”
Izzy moves to hang up but something in Stede’s voice stops him. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Stede asks.
Is he okay? He’s having a fucking panic attack about work. Because it’s Sunday night and he’s alone and he misses Ed.
“Oh, Israel. Hey now.”
Christ, he’s said that all aloud and Stede’s voice has gone soft like Izzy’s a frightened cat.
Izzy feels tears on his cheeks. Is he crying? What a fucking mess. He gasps in air. Doesn’t know what to say.
“I’ll be there in ten,” Stede says and hangs up.
Izzy sees the line go dead and stares at his phone. Ed’s going to think he’s lost his mind. Shit, Stede’s going to push him finally away. He’ll lose Ed for real this time. And then he’ll have no one.
Stede shows up in flowered silk pajamas and sneakers that look more like Ed’s than his. Izzy finds himself pulled into a hug. This is the end. Here comes the goodbye. Can’t have someone lurking about in our relationship, Israel. Especially not a sad sack like you.
Izzy looks up to see Stede packing a bag.
“Come on then. What else do you need?”
Izzy is momentarily stunned into confusion. “For what?”
“To stay with us. Don’t be daft.”
“Am I draft?” Izzy asks himself while Stede putters around his bedroom.
Izzy finds himself guided into a coat and then into Stede’s flashy car. He’s quiet the whole way because he’s got no idea what’s happening.
As they pull up to the big house that’s been bought with the fuck you money Ed got from selling the business Izzy helped him build, Izzy finds words. “Does Ed know?”
Stede turns the car off and unbuckles his seat belt. “Know what?”
“That I’m in love with him,” Izzy forces out. If it’s going to end, at least he can be honest.
“Obviously. The only question is whether you don’t mind me in the mix.”
Izzy stares at Stede as he tries to process what’s happening. He allows himself to be guided into the warm kitchen and Stede takes his coat.
Ed comes running from the bedroom, hair still damp, in boxers and a thin t-shirt. He kisses Stede and Izzy looks away.
“You got him?” Ed asks quietly.
Stede nods. “He can’t be alone.”
“I’m right here,” Izzy says, trying to muster an ounce of venom.
“Yes, I know. I brought you here,” Stede says, clearly annoyed.
“Why the fuck am I here? So you can let me down easy?” Izzy asks.
Ed grins at him then and Izzy is lost in the eyes of his oldest friend. Ed pulls him into an embrace and kisses him sweetly. Izzy tries to pull back but Stede guides him into a tentative kiss next.
“The fuck was that?” Izzy asks.
“I’m testing something. Shut up,” Ed says and kisses him again. Izzy melts against him and realizes that Stede has stepped in behind him. Gentle lips nip at his shoulder and neck, and Izzy shudders.
Ed and Stede share a kiss while he’s sandwiched between them and Christ Izzy is harder than he’s been in years.
“Finally,” Stede says with a low rumble of a laugh.
“Finally what?” Izzy asks, still trapped between them.
“Took you long enough,” Ed says with a kiss on Izzy’s nose that he tries to bat away.
“Brunches and dinners and everything else,” Stede adds.
Izzy tucks his head into Ed’s shoulder. In for a penny, in for a pound. “As a third wheel.”
“With champagne? We were trying to date you,” Stede says as he kisses his cheek.
Izzy doesn’t know what to say to that, so he lets Ed kiss him thoroughly.