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"Oh my gods I am so sick of your shit."
Cyno bursts into tiny chuckles. "Did you get it? Did you?"
Huffing out a laugh, Tighnari rolls his eyes. "Yeah whatever." He goes to take another sip of his tea only to let out a disappointed sigh as he finds the cup empty.
Cyno notices and waves over a servant. "More tea, please. Thanks."
"So, besides the, as usual, bad jokes, how have you been?" Tighnari asks.
"Oh, y'know," he grins, promptly ignoring the comment about his jokes and rests his chin with his elbow on the table. "The same old. I haven't had to take care of any dissidents recently so I've spent more time training new Matras. How about you? How's being the court physician going for you?"
"Ugh, don't get me started." Tighnari grimaces. "You'd think nobles would be more concerned with staying in good health and would actually listen to the highest qualified medic in the kingdom, but nope, of course they just have to make my job absolutely unbearable. They are the most difficult patients I've ever had the displeasure of treating or even holding in my ward. Not even the army from two years ago was this bad. I’d even say they were heaven compared to the nobles. Just thinking about them gets my blood boiling."
The servant returns and pours a new pot of tea into their cups and Tighnari sips his aggressively. Cyno chuckles warmly, leaning forward with eyes twinkling. "I will never understand how you manage to deal with peacocks everyday without stabbing one of them."
"Believe me, it takes a lot of patience." He mutters into his tea. "It's a little like you dealing with criminals or spies. Take them in, deal with some nonsense, and they're out of your hands. Mostly."
"You deal with it everyday though. I only have to work every now and then so it's not as bad."
"Mm."
They sit in silence for a while, listening to the breeze flowing through the garden and rustling the leaves. It's been a long time since they had a moment of peace together like this; since they had a moment together at all, really. Their equally important positions in the court leave them with packed schedules and no time for themselves, much less for others. As soon as they both found a lull in their duties, they arranged the evening together.
Unfortunately for them, peaceful times never last long.
Tighnari abruptly rises from his seat, his hand almost slamming on the table with how hard he leans against it.
"You alright?" Cyno asks, concern having him raise an eyebrow. "Forget something important?"
"Cyno…" The tone has Cyno turning back towards Tighnari. The sight alarms him.
Tighnari is pale, eyebrows knit together in barely concealed pain and he holds a palm to his mouth. "Cyno."
"What is it?" Cyno asks, rushing to his side to hold him steady. He's burning up.
"Don't touch the tea."
Tighnari coughs. His hand comes away covered with blood.
Cyno panics, his mind goes blank and all he can focus on is the red red blood oh gods. Tighnari coughs again and Cyno is startled out of his shock.
"Medic!" He shouts, screams because his best friend is suffering, poisoned, dying?
Tighnari collapses and the rest of the world goes with him.
~~~
He's burning.
He's burning from the inside out and he's freezing like he was drenched in the deepest parts of the ocean. His veins are on fire and his lungs are ice sharp every time he tries to breathe through the absolute agony that is his body.
His throat stings and scratches with every inhale and exhale like he's been screaming. He might be screaming. Why hasn't anyone come to help? It hurts, oh gods, it hurts so much please someone help me please it hurts.
His skin itches and he wants to claw it off his aching bones but there are hands on him, touching him, holding him down, and he panics and screams louder and it hurts his ears but it hurts and he's back there again who did this to him he just wants it to end he can't go back don't touch him let go not again please help please kill him it hurts plea-
There's a slight prick on the side of his neck, barely noticeable over the arctic furnace ravaging his system, and the pain…fades away.
~~~
Cyno might be panicking.
He's losing time. He's in the garden one second and outside the med hall in a blink.
What was he doing? Tea. Tea with Tighnari and then-
Blood, oh gods.
Where is he? Where's Tighnari? He needs help.
There's someone talking to him, hands shaking him, taking something from him-
No.
He holds it tighter in his arms and the voices are growing more frantic now but he can't, won't, let go because 'Nari is- is-
The world rushes back in and the medics are begging him to release Tighnari, where-
Oh. He places Tighnari on the bed and is immediately pulled away so the medics can work on him.
Tighnari is deathly (oh Archons oh Archons) pale and his screaming floods Cyno's senses. He steps forward because that's his friend, his friend is crying for help-
But there's an assistant holding him back, telling him to sit, to calm down and let the medics work. He sits, collapses onto the chair, really, because there is nothing he can do.
His best friend, his other half, his soulmate, Tighnari is dying and he cannot do anything besides sit and wait and watch as his beloved whimpers and sobs.
Someone pricks Nari's neck with a syringe and he goes still. Cyno's heart races and he panics but the assistant–Collei, his mind provides–pushes his shoulders down and murmurs "Sedative, sedative."
–And Cyno…drifts…
~~~
There's a pressure in his chest. It builds and builds until it's almost painful to hold in.
Tighnari turns onto his side and coughs up what feels like mouthfuls of blood and it hurts. He has the recollection of just pain and nothing else. Everything hurts. If he had his wits about him or could even register anything past pain, he’d laugh at the repetitiveness of it all.
There's a hand on his back, thumb rubbing soothing circles as he coughs and chokes, and another holding him up by his shoulder.
When he's done throwing up, he curls up on his side, whimpering, and lifts a shaking hand to grasp at the support.
There's a voice–he knows that voice–murmuring reassurances to him you're okay you're okay just breathe deep breaths I'm here you're okay.
He tries his best to follow the words though they slip through his fingertips like sand. Deep breaths, the voice said. He tries to breathe, in and out, slowly, and the voice keeps talking throughout it all.
The hand on his shoulder moves to his forehead and he squints his eyes open but all he sees is a blur of olive and pearl.
"You're okay," the voice repeats, the hand now caressing his head. "Go back to sleep, you're okay, I'll be here, it's okay."
With the weight of the comforting hand on his back, the gentle touch of the one on his head, and the hum of reassurances, Tighnari is fast asleep before long.
~~~
Cyno wants to cry.
It's been about a week, and while Tighnari's condition has improved, it was scarily close a few times there. He rests peacefully now, faint lines of pain still on his face, even as Cyno strokes his head. His shivering body curls around where Cyno rests on the edge of the bed.
Cyno is exhausted. He's had barely any sleep, unable to rest for more than a few minutes without waking up in a panic. His duties are building up, reports and paperwork scattered across the desk he brought in.
He just…can't leave Tighnari's side. Every hour or so, Tighnari cries or chokes and Cyno just wants it to stop, just wants him to be okay; and it sucks, because if their positions were reversed, Tighnari would've been able to find a cure in no time.
Cyno feels absolutely useless and he wants to cry. His breath hitches and he bends down, hugging Tighnari and leaning their foreheads together.
He doesn't know how long he stays like that, taking in deep breaths of lavender and moss and reminding himself that Tighnari is–well, not fine but–alive and here.
A knock comes at the door. "General Mahamatra, sir."
Cyno sucks in a deep breath and, after a moment to collect himself, rises from his post. "What is it?"
"We've captured and imprisoned the ones responsible for poisoning the tea. They are cleared for interrogation."
"Very well, thank you."
"Sir."
Cyno turns back to Tighnari and he…he's curled up towards the spot Cyno was sitting before, seeking out his comfort evident from the slight furrow in his brow and the hand grasping at nothing.
Cyno holds his hand and strokes over his ears, bending down to press a light kiss to Tighnari's head. He'll be okay, Cyno will just be gone for a short while, he'll be fine.
He'll be even better once they have the antidote.
Cyno leaves in a flurry of ozone and myrrh, the air crackling around him as if in suspense for what was coming.
The General Mahamatra is on the hunt.
~~~
When he awakes, the world is barely there, a far away, muted thing.
His hearing is the first thing to return, gentle, quiet noises filling the space as he floats senselessly. He’s not yet fully awake and he’s about to return back under when he feels a hand rest on his forehead.
"It's going down," a soft, familiar voice says. He scrunches his nose and lets out a huff at the coolness of the hand.
There's a small intake of breath. A second voice, a hesitant "Master Tighnari?" has him opening his eyes. They tear up from the sudden exposure to midday light and he whimpers reflexively from the flaring headache.
"The curtains, softly," the voice says before there's a quiet brushing of fabric and metal that he only slightly cringes from. "It's okay now, Master, you can open your eyes."
He peers them open tentatively and blinks to rid the way the world swims and blurs. The hand resting on his forehead strokes a gentle thumb encouragingly and he traces it back to Cyno, who's standing next to him, smiling softly.
"How are you feeling?" he asks, voice tired and also a bit cracked, like he hasn't drank water in a while. Tighnari doesn't miss the way his under eyes are dark with exhaustion either.
Tighnari takes a breath to answer but chokes from the way his throat scratches and tears. He coughs and coughs and can’t seem to catch his breath but Cyno is helping him to sit up and he leans against him. Collei–Collei–lifts a cup to his lips with a “Drink slowly,” and it soothes his cracking throat.
He takes a moment to breathe and the whole room seems to hold its breath together with him. Cyno rubs comforting circles on Tighnari’s back and Collei holds his hand while he just…breathes.
“I-I’m okay,” Tighnari finally pants. "What happened?"
Cyno's arms around him tighten, slightly, just for a moment, and he's almost unnoticeably quivering but Tighnari notices and lifts his gaze. Cyno is…Cyno is grimacing. It's the most expression he's ever seen on his face. His lips are pulled taut, his eyebrows furrowed, and his eyes seem to shimmer with pain and frustration.
It alarms Tighnari. Cyno rarely ever shows emotion, whether on his face, by his body language, or even tone of voice. To see this much so blankly was concerning.
"Cyno? Collei? What happened?" he repeats.
Cyno sucks in a sharp, deep breath. He holds it, then lets it out with a shudder.
"You and the General were drinking tea in the garden and you were poisoned. It was… bad," she takes a pause to breathe. "...We almost lost you a few times."
Ah.
So that's why he feels like crap; must be why Cyno looks like crap too.
"...I'm okay, now," he tries to assure.
Cyno just shakes his head, burying his face in Tighnari's hair. His breaths hitch on every intake.
Collei squeezes Tighnari's hand with a grim smile and leaves to tend to others in the ward.
Tighnari and Cyno remain sitting on the bed, just breathing. When Cyno has calmed down a little, Tighnari lifts a hand to pat at his back. "What's wrong, Cyno?"
"...It was my fault," Cyno finally says and-huh?
"What was your fault?" he asks.
"You got poisoned." And Cyno says it so bluntly, so matter-of-factly, that something–Tighnari doesn't quite know what just yet–clicks. There's something more here.
Cyno doesn't say anything else. "...It wasn't your fault, you couldn't have known the tea was poisoned."
Cyno shakes his head again and…cries.
Tighnari, despite the exhaustion and weariness in his bones, scrambles to comfort his friend. The instincts in his brain are going wild because what’s wrong what’s wrong why is pack crying help pack comfort pack help help what’s wrong?
Cyno doesn’t cry loudly but he does so very deeply. He takes a while to calm down, but when he does, he takes a deep breath and gently pats Tighnari’s hair, soothing the noise in his head. “I’m okay, I’m okay. Just…”
Cyno takes a moment to think and Tighnari gives him all the time in the world to gather his words.
“We arrested the servant who served your…our tea,” he starts. “As well as the one who hired them. Their instructions were to eliminate-”
He stops, takes another deep breath.
“It was supposed to be me.”
Oh.
Suddenly, Tighnari is back there again. He is back two years ago and he is in a cold, damp, dark cage with the General Mahamatra who is too young, barely an adult and yet forced to fight, forced to lead a war. Everything hurts, his skin is burning and freezing at the same time, but neither he nor the General can give in, because they will lose everything and everyone if either of them breaks.
“You know I don’t blame you for that, right?” he says gently, yet with surety. "Not then, and certainly not now. Two years ago, I made that choice to stay by you no matter what and my decision has not changed nor faltered."
He pushes himself upright and puts some space between them, hands resting on Cyno's shoulders. No longer holding Tighnari, Cyno's arms fall and rest on his legs, and his whole form seems to fold in half slightly.
"Cyno? Habibi, look at me," Tighnari prompts, waiting for crestfallen vermilion to meet his gaze before continuing. " Yes, I got hurt; yes, it was because of my relationship with you, but do not think for a second that I blame you or that it is your fault. I'm alive, aren't I? And alive I says that your stupid noggin needs to calm down and stop thinking like the world is going to end just because you want to be happy.
"Cyno, it is okay for you to care about others. It is okay to worry about people you care for. It is okay for you to pause and just breathe for a moment. The world wants to try and drag you down just because you work in the name of justice and have a beating human heart? I say damn them."
Tighnari moves his hands to Cyno's cheeks, thumbing under his weeping eyes. He leans forward to rest their foreheads together and closes his eyes.
"Two years ago, I promised, oathed, to stick by your side until the end and I will do so even if I'm on my dying breath. I will face every single storm with you, whether I have an umbrella with me or not." He opens his eyes to peer at Cyno's, a small, soft smile on his lips. "Okay?"
Cyno's breath shudders out of him all at once, like he'd been holding it in, and Tighnari watches the way his face crumples into relief and pain and happiness and sorrow and many more emotions he isn't sure he could name.
Cyno sobs and collapses forward onto Tighnari's shoulder, hugging an arm around his waist and the other on his neck. Tighnari huffs a tired and relieved laugh and raises his arms to grip loosely at Cyno, before they end up falling to the bed.
A sudden wave of exhaustion washes through him, the utter relief from managing to calm his pack and the overexertion after being sick hitting him all at once. He's at risk of falling asleep like this but he doesn't feel like moving, content to stay in Cyno's hold.
Cyno, of course, notices this, and shifts carefully so that they lay on their sides. He's still crying, albeit quietly and less intensely now, and his head curls into Tighnari's neck. Tighnari holds him a little closer for it.
They stay like that for awhile.
Tighnari is almost asleep when Cyno has stopped crying and tries to move away. Tighnari, in a small fit of exhausted panic, grabs his wrist and holds it tightly. "Please don't go." he whispers.
Cyno's breath hitches on its next inhale. He almost makes good on his decision to leave, but it crumbles in the face of Tighnari's puppy-eyed pout. "Okay," he whispers, just as softly, just as gently. He'll stay, just for a little while, until 'Nari falls asleep.
He lays back on the bed and cradles Tighnari's head under his chin, one arm around his waist like before and the other goes to stroke his hair. Tighnari's warm breath on Cyno's neck slowly evens out, but before he drops back into unconsciousness, his sleep-slurred voice murmurs "m'okay."
Cyno just continues to pet his hair and hugs him a little closer. He'll stay, just for a little while.
~~~
When Collei comes back to check on Tighnari, she finds both of them still there, asleep, albeit now in slightly different positions.
Tighnari now sprawls completely on Cyno's chest, head tucked into his collarbone, with Cyno's arms around him in the same position as before. His tail sways lightly and kind of cheerfully.
They look so peaceful and content and Collei doesn't have the heart to wake them, so she leaves them be to rest a little longer and continues the rest of her day, a light smile and small springs in her step.
Neither of them awaken until late the next morning.