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“Excuse me, could you move a little to the side? I need to clean here.”
That was the first time Kunikuzushi had seen the ginger after many years. In a grocery store. Not at all romantic, if you ask me. He could only stare at the man that had talked to him, mind full of the memories they had made together.
“Uh, are you okay? Need any help finding what you are looking for?” The taller man of the two waved his hand in front of Kunikuzushi, trying to get his attention. “Hey, can you hear me? Are you okay?”
“Ajax.” Kunikuzushi could only stare at the man, the sight of his old boyfriend making him freeze.
“Oh, do I know you? Not a lot of people call me that anymore.” Ajax scratched the back of his neck, confused at the raven-haired man in front of him.
“No, you don’t. It’s okay, I didn’t find what I needed, I… I have to go.”
Kunikuzushi scrambled out of the aisle, leaving an even more confused ginger behind. It had been four years since he had last talked or even seen Ajax, after he caused the other to lose almost the entirety of his memories, so he panicked. He wasn’t ready to talk to him, not yet.
He went home as fast as he could, needing to call his friend and cry his eyes out. When Kazuha picked up the call, he didn’t waste time and started ranting about his short but impactful meeting with the ginger. Kunikuzushi talked for what felt like hours, and fell asleep in the middle of his rant.
The second time the pair saw each other, was only a few days after the first one.
Childe, the name Ajax went by nowadays, had just clocked out of work, and was walking with one of his co-workers to the nearest bus stop. He noticed a familiar black hair hidden under a hat. The man was wearing earphones so he decided to not bother him, but when they got on the same bus after it arrived, he felt like he had to talk to him. He got the sudden urge to introduce himself properly, and explain why he probably didn’t recognize him.
He tapped the other’s man shoulder, grabbing his attention, and he saw the panic in his eyes, “Hey, no need to look so scared! Remember me from the grocery store? I was mopping the floor and you were on my way? We talked? Please, tell me it was you, if it wasn’t it would be so awkward-“He was interrupted by the shorter’s giggle at his nervous rant.
“Yeah, it was me, I wasn’t expecting to see you again after that. I’m glad I did, though.”
“Oh, okay, good. I’m Childe- or, Ajax, but you already know that. Where do we know each other from, by the way? I had an incident and-“
The ginger was once again interrupted in the middle of his explanation, the other’s eyes now fixed on the floor and a somber expression on his face, “yeah, I know what happened to you. We used to be friends, a long time ago. My name is Kunikuzushi.”
“Kunikuzushi, huh? I remember that name, I had a few letters signed with that name, but I never saw whoever wrote them- or I guess, you, again, so I kept them in a box.”
“Yeah, I left you a couple letters back then, didn’t want you to forget me. You still did, but, yeah. Oh, this is my stop, I’ll see you later, yeah?”
“Wait! I don’t even have your-“by the time the ginger started talking, Kunikuzushi was out of the bus, not hearing what Childe was trying to say, “number.”
Okay, Ajax, that was not embarrassing at all. Yup. Just don’t look up, don’t make eye contact with anyone or they might see his abashed expression.
By the third time, Kunikuzushi began to think this wasn’t a coincidence, and there was someone, something, out there, trying to bring the ginger back into his life.
He was taking a stroll through town with his aunt, looking at shops and making idle chat, when he bumped into a broad and firm chest. Kunikuzushi quickly moved away and started to mutter an apology when he froze at the face belonging to the robust body.
“Oh, I’m sorry- Oh, hey! It’s you again! Kunikuzushi, right? What a coincidence seeing you again!” not quite, Kunikuzushi wanted to add, but chose not to as to not interrupt Childe, “wow, I was actually going to ask around since I didn’t catch your number last time! Guess I got lucky,” Childe mentioned with a giggle.
“Well, I’m here now, I guess.”
“Kuni, who is this?” Oh, right. His aunt was with him. Kunikuzushi almost forgot about the smaller woman that was trailing beside him.
“Auntie Nahida, this is Childe. We used to be bo- best friends.”
The woman noticed Kunikuzushi’s small slip-up, but decided not to say anything, instead introducing herself to the other man, “Nice to meet you, Childe. I have heard many things about you.”
“No, you didn’t-“
“Oh, likewise! Great things, I hope!”
“No, she didn’t-“
The pair laughed at Kunikuzushi’s panicked state, clearly trying to tease him and achieving it. His response to this was turning away from them and start pacing to the other side of the street, groaning about how mean they were to him even if they had just met. He didn’t expect to feel a hand grabbing his wrist, making him turn in place. He looked at the hand, and then at its owner, getting flustered because of the man before him.
“Hey, come on, I was just joking. I know you probably didn’t say much about me, and even if you did, I most likely won’t know anything about what you said. You know, lost memories and all that.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. Here,” Kunikuzushi grabs a pen and some paper from his bag and scribbles a number on it, passing it to the ginger, “Don’t lose it. You only get this once. Text me whenever you want to or- if you want to, I don’t care.”
Kunikuzushi walks back to where his aunt was looking at the pair exchanging words, and they continue walking away from the scene, leaving a dumbfounded and flustered Childe behind.
4
As soon as Childe entered his home, he closed the door with his hip, and ran to the couch. He threw himself face down and kicked his legs back and forth, looking at the paper in his hand.
He couldn’t believe it. He got Kunikuzushi’s number. He got his crush’s number. Of course, Childe would never call his old friend his crush in front of anyone. He barely had any memories of the time they spent together, but he couldn’t deny the flutter of his heart whenever he saw or thought about the other man.
His gorgeous hair, his raven eyes that always seemed to be filled with annoyance when he saw the ginger, but also had hints of happiness in them, maybe even a little bit of sadness.
Since he met the man again for the first time in years, Childe started searching in his head for any recollection of Kunikuzushi, but he couldn’t recall anything. He even asked his parents and old friends about him, but they usually just looked to the other side and changed the subject.
Childe knew there was something nobody was telling him, that’s why he tried so hard to find the other man. He knew that their relationship used to be something deeper than ‘best friends,’ he had to know what they used to be, because he wanted to bring it back.
Childe wanted Kunikuzushi to be in his life again. He wanted to be able to text him at night and chat for hours, to invite him for dinner and stay up late watching movies and talk about their childhood together.
He added Kunikuzushi to his contacts, and put a heart next to his name, (confidential information, of course, no one had to know about that) and sent him a message.
Childe: hey ! its childe
Childe: uh ginger who used to be your friend and allat. hope you didn’t forget about me lol.
Childe: text me when you see this! I would love to go out with you when you have the time, as friends, of course! >___<
He was aware he was being too clingy, for someone he met three times before and didn’t see for years after his accident, but he didn’t care. If the other man found him annoying after all the spam he sent, Childe would understand and give him the space he needs.
But not even an hour after staring at his phone, waiting for a response, he saw Seen under his messages and a bubble with three dots appeared right after.
Kunikuzushi<3: hey. yeah, of course I remember you. sure, let’s have dinner this weekend, im free on Saturday after 5.
Okay, maybe the other man was a bit intimidating over text, but Childe was happy Kunikuzushi agreed to meet. They chatted for a few more minutes, arranging where they would go to and when to meet, but Childe didn’t want the conversation to end.
He had found an old picture of him and the dark-haired man in a park, sharing a chocolate smoothie and smiling at the camera. So he decided to show the picture to Kunikuzushi.
Childe: look! us a few years ago, lol! [Picture attached]
Seen
Okay, weird. It’s fine, actually. Kunikuzushi probably got busy and couldn’t respond! Or maybe he fell asleep with his screen still on, maybe.
Or maybe he got mad, Childe couldn’t help but think of all the negative reasons why Kunikuzushi wouldn’t say anything about the picture. So instead of obsessing over it, he decided to sleep and hope the other man didn’t hate him, he still had many questions to ask about the relationship they used to have, and why Kunikuzushi didn’t contact him at all in all the years he had been awake.
It was now Saturday, and Kunikuzushi couldn’t determine whether he should go to his da- meetup with the ginger or not. After the taller man had sent the picture of their first date as a couple, he didn’t know what to say or how to react. So much had happened since that day, dates after school, moving in together during college, a few anniversaries, Childe’s accident, reuniting, and now eating together again, even if it’s as friends.
Kunikuzushi was sure the ginger was probably mad about him ignoring the picture, but it brought back so many buried memories and he didn’t know how to deal with it.
So, he did the only reasonable thing he could do, and he didn’t go out to dinner with Childe. Call him immature, call him stupid- which Kazuha did, when he learned why Kunikuzushi was suddenly free- but it was the only choice he could do.
How he could face the only man he had ever loved? The only man that had made his heart pump with excitement whenever they made plans together. Childe was the first and only man to make him feel loved, to hear his worries and help him when he was feeling down. The man who now didn’t feel anything about him, had forgotten what being with Kunikuzushi was like.
He couldn’t bare the pain of not being loved again, the other man clearly didn’t remember anything of the past, he wasn’t even aware of the way he made Kunikuzushi blush whenever he would remember the ginger. He would never understand what loving someone for so long and then losing them was like.
Kunikuzushi mopped around for hours, not checking his phone that was blowing up with messages from his old boyfriend, asking where he was, and telling him he would wait for him for as long as he needed to.
Somewhere around midnight, Kunikuzushi got up to take a shower, wanting to clean the filth of crying all night, and when he finished cleansing his body, and left the bathroom, a knock on the door interrupted him in the middle of drying his hair.
He decided to not go check who it was, as it would be dangerous to open his door at this hour, but the person on the other side of it would not persisting, so he opened the door and closed it harshly when he saw the last person he was expecting to be there.
“Ow, shit, fuck! Gosh, that hurt, Kuni. Open the door for me? It’s the least you could do after breaking my nose.”
“Come on, I didn’t break your nose, you weren’t that close to the door. Dramatic as ever, glad something didn’t change after all this time.”
Kunikuzushi opened the door and stepped to the side, letting the tall ginger enter, closing the door behind him. How the man found his house, he didn’t know, but he had an idea as to why. He just didn’t think Childe would go to this extent just to see him. Then again, the ginger had done this before, multiple times, so the fact that it stuck with him even if he doesn’t remember doing it, is not very surprising to Kunikuzushi.
“Well, I came to see- oh, you’re naked.” Childe looked down at the other and noticed he was only wearing a tower over his hips, and another one around his shoulders.
Kunikuzushi snorted at his reaction, he had forgotten to change before opening the door, which he didn’t regret, seeing the blush on the ginger’s face, “don’t worry, this isn’t anything you haven’t seen before. Stay here, I’m going to change.”
Childe silently nodded, frozen in place, looking everywhere except the short man in front of him.
After a few minutes, Kunikuzushi entered his living room, where the ginger was still standing there, now looking at a few pictures on the wall. They were mainly of his current friends, but there was one that caught Childe’s attention the most. The photo was the same one he had sent Kunikuzushi over text, positioned in the middle of the other portraits, showing that it was the most important picture of all the ones on the wall.
“That was a gift from you, for our second anniversary. It’s been there since I moved in, I look at it every time I come back home.”
The pair viewed the picture for a long moment, silently getting closer and closer, until their shoulders bumped together and the comfortable silence turned awkward.
“Why are you here, anyways? I don’t even want to know how you got my address.” Kunikuzushi looked away from the happy couple in the picture, and moved to sit on the couch, signalling the ginger to do the same.
“Well, you didn’t go eat dinner with me, and didn’t respond to any of my texts and calls, so I got worried that something had happened to you. I got your address from one of your friends, I hope you don’t mind. If you want me to leave, I will. I just wanted to see how you were.”
“Okay.”
“And, you know, I care about you. Even if I didn’t recognize you at first, I felt in my heart you used to be someone important to me. That’s why I was happy to see you again, I wanted to get to know you again.”
“Okay.”
“And I’m here, now. I want to get to know you, right here, right now. Maybe we won’t be the same as before, but I hope we get close to that.”
“Okay.
“Is that all you have to say? If you don’t want to be friends with me again, tell me now and I’ll leave, I’ll stop chasing after you-“
Childe’s rambling was interrupted by a choking sound beside him, the smaller man curled up into a ball, trying to stop his sobs, “I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Kuni.”
“I’m sorry for not meeting with you today, I was scared of you realizing I’m not worth the trouble. Please, don’t leave.”
“I won’t.”
“Good.”
There was a silence between them again, both wanting to express their love for the other, but they didn’t know where to start. Childe was the one to speak first, surprising both of them.
“I remember that day.”
“What do you mean?”
“The day of the accident, I remember some stuff,” childe moved closer to the older man, touching his thigh with his own, “I remember that you were there, I don’t recall the moment the accident happened, but I know we went out together.”
Kunikuzushi didn’t say anything to the ginger’s confession. Would he also remember the reason why the accident happened? If he didn’t, would that mean Kunikuzushi had to be the one to tell him? For obvious reasons, he didn’t want to do that. Childe would probably hate him if he knew whose fault it was that he lost his memories, so he stayed silent throughout the time the ginger talked.
“I don’t think I would ever love you like I did back then. I know that’s probably obvious, but I don’t know you like I used to do, and you most likely changed a lot since that moment, but I want to know the new you. I want to be here, next to you, for as long as you’d let me. Do you want the same?”
Childe grabbed the other’s face with one hand, directing Kunikuzushi’s gaze to his own eyes. When the smaller man nodded at his question, he entwined their free hands, and leaned in to capture their lips together.
Their kiss didn’t last long, not with Kunikuzushi’s sob resounding in the silent house. They pulled away and hugged tightly, not wanting to let the other one get away. When the sobs turned to small whimpers, Childe wiped the tears away from the beautiful face in front of him, gorgeous features showing both happiness and sadness.
“I’m sorry, Ajax, if I ever hurt you. But I am tired so how about we talk about this in the morning? You can stay, if you want. My bed is big but you can sleep on the couch too if you’re uncomfortable with sleeping next to me.”
Kunikuzushi got up and stared at the ginger, waiting for an answer. Childe looked beautiful like this, expression calm and looking as young as ever, as if he didn’t age at all, after all this years.
“Yeah, I’ll sleep with you. I’ve spent too long being the big spoon with other people, don’t think I’ve forgotten your love for being the big spoon with me.”
“Gosh, how do you even remember that? You forget the important stuff and not you being all submissive and cute when we had sleepovers.”
The pair giggled at the memories, moving hand in hand to the big bed in Kunikuzushi’s room. Childe stripped out of all his clothes, except his underwear, and got under the sheets, hitting the bed with his hand to get Kunikuzushi to lie next to him.
They fell asleep the moment their bodies touched each other, feeling calm at the warmth they both emanated, happy to be close to the other after such a long time.
When Kunikuzushi woke up, he felt the ginger’s eyes burning holes through him, looking at his serene expression. He moved to get up but was stopped by a hand pulling on his arm and making him fall against a strong and firm chest.
“Seriously, again? Your chest isn’t that comfortable to sleep on, you big idiot.”
“Don’t lie to yourself like that, Kuni. I know you’ve always loved my big boobs.”
Kunikuzushi hit the other’s chest lightly and scoffed at his comment, “they’re not boobs, they’re pectorals. How are you still a moron, even after all this time?”
“Who are you, again? How did I get into your bed? Why am I naked? Oh, god, did we have… sex?”
Childe laughed at Kunikuzushi’s anger, and hugged his torso tighter to stop him from actually hurting his chest with his small fists. They stayed like that for a few more minutes and then got up to make breakfast, the ginger taking a shower before going to the kitchen to eat, sitting next to the smaller man and hugging his waist with his free arm.
They ate in silence, and when they finished, they went back to bed, talking about their lives since they separated. The pair didn’t converse about the past, agreeing to not discuss it for now, preferring to get to know each other as strangers, and see where that leads them.
Kunikuzushi drifted off a few times during their conversation, still tired even if he slept all time. But the main reason this happened was because of the ginger’s warmth, the world felt too cold when he wasn’t next to him, and he wasn’t ready to give that up just yet, being barely able to go to the bathroom alone, asking Ajax to accompany him.
By the time it was afternoon, the two men didn’t have anything else to talk about, they had revealed everything about their lives- friends, family, hook-ups, partners, not a single detail went untold. They ordered some takeout, too tired to cook themselves.
The next day, they went out to browse some shops, hand in hand, and ate at a restaurant.
The whole week was spent together, the pair not wanting to separate a single minute. They looked happy, and their phones started to fill with pictures together, pictures of cute things they saw at the park, pictures of their dates.
Childe and Kunikuzushi became Ajax and Kuni, looking more and more like a couple as time went by.
After a few months, Ajax confessed his feelings to the older man, and they officially started dating. Things got better from there, the couple moved in together house infested with old and new portraits and their own personal things.
Ajax and Kuni never went back to the way they used to be, as they had hoped. Instead, their relationship was stronger than before, they were more honest with each other, and loved being with the other even more than when they were teenagers.
They were happy of finally being together, and they would never let each other leave no matter what. If they had to, they would fight anyway who became an obstacle to their relationship.
They loved each other, and that would never change.