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Eddie was just buttoning the last of his work shirt when he heard his best friend barging in through the bay doors, all but panting and out of breath as he started talking a mile a minute.
“Guys, guys, guys. You won’t believe what happened…and then…can you believe it?”
“Believe what?” Chim asked, rounding the corner as he popped his gum. They looked to Buck a little blankly, not having understood half of what he’d said in his rush to get it out. Even Eddie had a hard time deciphering it, and he was fluent in buck-neese.
“I won! I’ve been trying all week and finally got through!”
Eddie nodded in understanding, Buck having been going on about trying to win some contest the last few mornings. They headed up the stairs, Buck telling them all about it, Bobby and Hen joining in on the conversation.
“What did you win tickets for?” Hen asked, Eddie stepping up to the coffee maker to make both his and Bucks coffee—not that the man needed any coffee to get his day going.
“It’s this big concert festival, and some of the artists I like on TikTok are gonna be there!”
Eddie already knew who all of Bucks favorite TikTok artists were, the man both showing and sending him videos of his favorites, Eddie indulging him in watching all of them.
Buck chatted on, telling them of the concert, Eddie stirring in all the extra sugary creamer he knew Buck loved so much.
“And it’s perfect because we both have Friday off!”
Eddie nearly dropped the stirring stick, suddenly feeling all eyes on him.
“Who has Friday off?” Chimney asked, Eddie hearing just how smug he sounded.
“Me and Ed’s,” Buck answered, easy as ever.
When Eddie turned around, Hen and Chim were sharing a look, Bobby pretending to be heavily immersed in cooking breakfast, Buck smiling bright as ever as he scrolled through his phone, oblivious to everything around him.
“Chim, I think we need to restock some things before the shift gets going.” Hen nudged Chimney, the two looking between him and Buck before making their way down the stairs. Bobby suddenly disappeared as well, leaving just him and Buck. He’d have to thank their teammates later.
Setting Bucks coffee on the table in front of him, Eddie took the seat next to him, fingers tracing the rim of his mug.
“What if I already have plans for Friday?”
Buck looked up to meet him, a bit of panic rising in those blues. “Uh you don’t, do-do you? Because I looked at the calendar last weekend and it says Chris has a sleepover, and—"
“Buck,” Eddie said, cutting him off with a fond look. “I’m free.” Buck relaxed his shoulders, smiling to Eddie wholly. “Ok, ok good.”
Before either of them could get more out, the bell rang, Eddie tabling the conversation for the time being. By the time they made it back to the station it was mid-afternoon, Buck flopped on the couch next to Eddie, their thighs pressed tightly together. The others were downstairs or in the bunk room, Eddie always loving when it could be just the two of them.
He looked over to Buck, the man no doubt lost in his latest Wikipedia dive; Eddie couldn’t wait to hear all about it later.
“Hey uh, why—why’d you pick me to invite? To the concert, I mean.”
It had been bothering him since that morning, Buck putting his phone down to peer over to him.
“Why wouldn’t I invite you Eds? You’re my best friend.”
Eddie shook his head, smiling over to Buck.
“I know, I just meant—I mean you could take anyone. Like—like a date or something.”
He hated the thought of Buck dating anyone that wasn’t Eddie himself, but he couldn’t imagine why Buck would want to take him over a romantic partner. Sure, Buck had been more independent as of late, but still, Eddie wondered.
Buck shrugged his shoulders as if the thought hadn’t even occurred to him.
“Well, I’m not dating anyone, and even if I was, I wouldn’t have invited them.”
Curious, Eddie couldn’t help but to question him further.
“Not even if, well what about if you were still with—Taylor?” The name sounded bitter on his lips, Eddie grateful he hadn’t had to say it in some time now.
Buck looked to him incredulously. “Why would I invite her to a concert?”
“Well not now, obviously, but I mean when you were together.”
“I know. I still wouldn’t have taken her.”
Eddie was confused as ever, inquiring further. “Why not?”
Buck looked just as perplexed, knitting his brows together, thinking it over for a moment.
“Uh I don’t, well I mean—you were the first person I thought about. Guess I didn’t really have a backup plan.”
Oh.
The bell went off then, saving Eddie once more. He wasn’t sure what to make of Buck’s words. It wasn’t just that Buck wouldn’t have taken whomever he was dating, but that he’d thought of Eddie first. Everyone else had been an afterthought.
They worked together side by side the rest of the shift, easily as ever. When it ended, Eddie found himself in the locker room with Buck, watching as the man slipped his LAFD hoodie over his head, the soft fabric making him look extra cuddly.
“So, you um—well you don’t have to go Friday if you don’t want. I can always find someone else or-or—” Eddie reached a hand out to grasp Buck’s wrist, stilling the man mid-sentence. “I want to go, promise.”
Buck smiled shyly down to him, Eddie letting his thumb slip under Buck’s sleeve so he could press over his pulse point. When Eddie let go, he watched as Buck brought his hands together, absently rubbing over the spot where Eddie’s hand had just been.
“I’ll um, I’ll pick you up Friday then.”
“Sounds like a date.”
Eddie didn’t realize the mistake with his words until they were already out, Buck biting at his lower lip, looking away from him.
“Yea uh, it’s a date.”
They didn’t talk any further, grabbing up their duffels as they headed out, sharing fist bumps before getting into their respective cars. Eddie wanted to ask Buck if he’d meant ‘date’ the same way Eddie had, but his nerves got the better of him. Buck invited him to the concert because they’re best friends. Simple as that. At least, that’s what Eddie spent the rest of the week convincing himself of.
~
Eddie paced around the house, wishing he wouldn’t have dropped Chris off so early for his sleepover so that he’d have something to do. He’d already showered, shaved, and changed outfits approximately ten times.
He was just going out with Buck, so why the fuck was he so nervous? Oh right, because he’d been a complete and total idiot, telling Buck it was a date.
Eddie shook his thoughts out, wiping his hands over his thighs once more. The doorbell rang, Eddie suddenly nervous for an entirely different reason. Buck never rang the doorbell, always letting himself in with the key Eddie had made for him years ago. There was no way Buck thought this was a date ‘date,’ right?”
Checking himself one last time in the mirror, Eddie reached to open the door, greeting his best friend. Eddie looked Buck over, swallowing thickly. He wasn’t quite dressed in date attire but it had Eddie’s own pants tightening all the same.
Buck was wearing a pair of fitted ripped black jeans accompanied with his signature white chucks, a short sleeved white button up on top, the fabric stretched tight over his massive arm muscles. Buck’s curls were styled back, Eddie’s hands aching to run through them and pull them free.
“You look good.”
Eddie startled at Buck’s words, finally looking up to meet those baby blues of his.
“Yea? Um so, so do you.”
A flash of something crossed Buck’s face before he looked away, ducking out of Eddie’s sight. Eddie wasn’t wearing anything special; he’d settled on black jeans, his forest green Henley with the sleeves rolled to his elbows, and boots covering his feet. He was nothing if not predictable. Buck’s eyes raking over him said differently.
Eddie scratched at the back of his neck. “So, you ready to go?”
Buck pulled a pair of tickets out of his jean pockets—Eddie really wasn’t sure how they fit in there with how tight the man’s pants were—holding them up for Eddie to see.
“Yep.” Buck began to turn, Eddie following and closing the door behind him. “Hey, did I tell you these are floor tickets? So cool huh?”
“Surprised you chose an old man to go with you.”
Buck turned back to him, smiling wider than ever.
“Yea well, what can I say? Had to bust you out of the nursing home for the night.”
Eddie laughed with a fond roll of his eyes, reaching out to playfully swat Buck.
They hopped into Buck’s jeep, Eddie taking his usual spot in the passenger seat. The normal and comfortable space suddenly felt a little small, Eddie’s feelings rising to the surface. How the hell was he supposed to last an entire night with Buck, wondering if the other man thought this was an actual date or not? He could just ask, but Eddie wasn’t ready to face the answer if it wasn’t the one he was looking for.
Buck played music from his phone, Eddie settling in. There were a few songs Buck had added since the last time they’d hung out, Eddie inquiring on them, Buck telling him all about them. Whenever Buck played a song for him, Eddie listened to the lyrics, always amazed at how well they suited his best friend. Eddie always found hints of himself in the songs as well, some of them speaking to him wholly. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say Buck had hand-picked some of the songs just for him.
When they pulled up to the venue, the parking lot was a disaster, cars and people littered everywhere. Eddie didn’t mind, Buck chattering on, keeping his thoughts occupied. The nice thing about having Buck as a best friend was that there was never a dull moment; there was nothing boring about Evan Buckley.
Buck was finally able to park his jeep, the two hopping out and getting in line so they could be checked in. Eddie looked over to Buck as their shoulders bumped together, the man’s smile wide and bright; Eddie could almost feel the energy coming off him.
“Hey uh, thanks for-for coming with me.”
Eddie shrugged like it was no big deal; it really wasn’t. Where Buck went, Eddie followed and vise versus.
They were handed out two wristbands when they reached the front, the two stepping aside so they could put them on. After putting on his own, Eddie watched as Buck struggled, still trying to peel off the tab to reveal the sticky side. Eddie grabbed it from Buck, laughing to himself as he pulled the tab back; it was adorable how flustered Buck got sometimes.
“Alright, which wrist do you want it on?” Eddie asked, holding the wristband open, Buck placing his left wrist into the opening. Eddie pulled the ends together, leaving it loose so Buck could easily move it around, sticking it to the other end. He rubbed his finger to make sure it was securely in place, lingering it there for a moment afterwards. When he finally pulled away, Buck looked down to the spot where Eddie’s fingers had just been, placing his own there, just as he’d done earlier in the week. Eddie tried not to dwell on what it meant, clearing his throat.
“Thanks,” Buck said, looking up to him.
“What are dates for?” Eddie could’ve kicked himself for his choice of words, Buck looking a little alarmed for them. “We uh, we should go grab a spot before all the good ones are gone,” Eddie commented, already walking down toward the stage. Buck followed behind him, the two not saying anything as they made their way down the stairs.
It was an outside venue, the warm breeze blowing through. Eddie knew as soon as night hit the air would cool off, his arms already shivering a little for the thought.
They found a space toward the middle of the stage, both Buck and Eddie letting some of the shorter crowd step in front of them; perks of being tall and all of that.
There was a pretty decent crowd around them, Buck telling him it was a sold-out show, some sort of event where a bunch of different artists came out, each playing a handful of songs before moving on to the next.
“So, who’s your favorite?” Eddie asked, wanting to start up a conversation but needing to keep it casual.
“Remember that TikTok I sent you the other day?” Eddie nodded; he watched every single video Buck sent him. It wasn’t just because Buck always asked what Eddie thought of them, but more so because Buck had taken the time to send them, thinking of Eddie in some way or another.
“He has a new song that he just came out and he’s supposed to play it live tonight for the first time!”
“Was it the one you sent me in the video?”
Buck shook his head, looking away from Eddie. Before he could inquire, the announcer came onto the stage, hyping everyone up for the night. People began to fill in around them as they all took their spots, Eddie crowded up against Buck; he didn’t mind.
As the first artist took the stage, everyone began to scream, hollering out to cheer them on. Each act had a story of their own to tell, Eddie listening closely, getting lost in the music. The thing about Buck was that he was always alive, full of light and passion—something about concerts really brought that out of him. Yes, there were many moments when Buck pulled in on himself, when his blues were sad and dull, but for the most part, he was full of life, Eddie never wanting to see that smile fade.
“Are you having fun?” Buck yelled, leaning down to whisper into his ear over the buzzing crowd. Eddie nodded, not getting the chance to respond as a few people pushed through them, Eddie suddenly in front of Buck, the man completely invading his space. It made him dizzier than the music around them, Eddie trying not to think of how closely they were pushed together. When the song came to an end and the crowd quieted a bit, Eddie felt Buck’s lips press by the edge of his ear, whispering right into him. “You ok?”
Was he ok? Let’s see, he was on a maybe, maybe not, date with his best friend, the one he was currently pressed up against, not an ounce of space between them, said friends’ lips lingering by his ears. Sure, everything was fine.
“Hey are you thirsty? I’m gonna go grab us a few beers.”
Eddie began to move away from Buck, the other man grabbing him at the wrist.
“Wait, I can come with you.” Eddie shook his head, bringing his own hand up to squeeze where Buck was. “Nah it’s ok. I don’t want you to miss any of the show.” Eddie swore he saw disappointment cross Buck’s face before he pulled away, assuring the man he’d be right back.
Eddie took in a breath of fresh air once he’d escaped the crowd, joining the others in line for the beer stand. He hadn’t been nearly as thirsty as he had been to get away from Buck, needing to put some space between them. They’d never known spatial boundaries, though Eddie couldn’t help but to feel even this was crossing some invisible line they’d put up for themselves. It would always mean so much more to Eddie; he couldn’t handle that.
For once in his life, Eddie was thankful for the long line, thankful not to have Buck pressed so close to him, the man’s cologne surrounding him, lingering around him still now.
With the beers in his hand, Eddie took a deep breath, inhaling the fresh air before he would be met with Buck’s intoxicating scent once again. He pushed his way back into the crowd, making sure not to spill the beers as he went. Spotting the blond curls, the ones that were now loose from sweat and moving around, Eddie paused a moment, taking it all in. Buck was beautiful. There was no sense in denying that.
There was a pause in the music when he approached, Eddie clearing his throat. Blue eyes looked over to him, a soft smile spreading across Buck’s face.
“You’re back.” Buck said the words as if he’d missed him, as if Eddie had been gone a lot longer than ten or fifteen minutes.
“Didn’t think I’d leave you, did you?”
He handed one of the beers out to Buck, their fingers grazing the other as Buck took it from him.
“No but—you’re not bored, are you? Because I can take you home, or—” Eddie shook his head, stepping closer to Buck. “Bored is not at all what I’m feeling.”
He watched as Buck swallowed thickly, neither of them getting to say more before the next artist took the stage. Eddie clanked his cup with Buck’s, raising his brow to the other man. Buck tapped his against Eddie’s, their eyes not moving the others as they tipped them back, chugging down healthy sips. They were right in front of the stage, the two reaching forward to place their cups in the designated space.
As the night carried on, the crowd only seemed to grow, Eddie finding himself plastered up against Buck once more, this time from behind. Even with all of the body heat around them, he watched as Buck shivered, rubbing at his bare arms as the wind picked up, swirling the cool air around them.
Someone bumped into them from behind, all but plastering him to Buck’s backside. Eddie swore he heard Buck inhale deeply, like the touch had affected him just as much. That was impossible though.
“Excuse me,” someone called as they passed, trying to duck around Eddie. He lifted his arms to give them more space, another person knocking it as they slipped under, Eddie’s arm falling around Buck. He was about to rip it away when Buck sank back into him, pulling Eddie’s arm tightly around him. Buck’s head came back to lean just beside his, the man sighing contently.
“M’ you’re warm.”
Buck all but snuggled into him, grabbing for Eddie’s other arm to bring around himself as well. Eddie knew it couldn’t be the beer talking, the two of them barely having finished half their drinks.
“Buck, are uh…” He didn’t know what to say, trailing off as he was pressed closer to Buck, more people passing behind them.
“I like being close to you.” Buck leaned his head back, those blues looking right into him, Eddie unable to do anything but tighten his grip around Buck’s middle, pulling him impossibly closer. Well, if Buck wasn’t going to push him away, then Eddie was perfectly content to stay as he was.
With Buck pressed closely against him, it was the only thing Eddie could smell, the man’s sweat and cologne lingering around him, along with his vanilla and coconut shampoo. Buck’s hands were intertwined with Eddie’s over his front, Buck flexing them every now and again like he was trying to make sure that Eddie was still there, that this was real.
He swayed his body as a slow song was played, Buck following along, their hips moving in perfect tandem. There was a million people around them, Eddie only honed in on one. If he could, he would always dance with Buck.
“Oh oh, hey this is him!” Buck’s fingers tapped anxiously against his, Eddie refocusing his attention on the stage in front of them. He recognized the guy from the many TikTok’s Buck had sent him. He remembered one of the songs being about a breakup, the guy wishing he could’ve done more, could get them back; Eddie was sure everyone could relate to that on some aspect.
Eddie settled in, Buck swaying against him as the music started up. The song Eddie recognized was played, the two humming along as did the rest of the crowd.
“Alright, I’ve got a new one for ya’ll tonight. I’m sure you’ve all heard it a thousand times by now, so thanks for blowing it up!”
Buck turned in his hold, blues radiating in the night sky, the stage lights perfectly framing his features. “This is the one Eds!”
Eddie smiled to him wholly, pulling Buck in close so he could whisper into the man’s ear, just as Buck had done to him earlier. “Can’t wait to hear it.” Buck shivered in his hold, Eddie braving himself as he rubbed his hands up and down Buck’s bear arms. His own sleeves were still rolled up, their bare arms falling together, Eddie loving the way they just fit together.
Eddie was quick to remind himself that this wasn’t a date. Buck was cold and simply relying on his best friend for warmth. Nothing else.
As the artist began to sing, Eddie honed in on the lyrics, taking note of them.
‘Now I’m starting to doubt, if I’ll ever find lightning in a bottle, ‘cause I’ve never had anyone. So, if I don’t stay, will it matter?’
The lyrics hit Eddie with a weight, but not for himself. He knew that Buck often felt alone, like he didn’t have anyone; the man had been left more times than Eddie wanted to think about.
He wanted to tell Buck that it mattered, that he mattered. Instead, he tightened his hold on Buck, resting his chin over the man’s shoulder.
‘Cause there’s no way to break the pattern.’
Eddie wanted to scream in Buck’s ear, to tell him that there was a way, that he was right there, and never going anywhere. Buck was worth keeping to Eddie; if Buck were his, Eddie would never let him go.
The music had been slow, building up, Buck leaning back into him as it sped up, belting out the lyrics right along with everyone else.
‘And I don’t wanna feel alone. My past is not my fault, but my world just keeps on breaking.’
And god did Eddie want to wrap a young Buck up and tell him that everything was going to be ok, that he wasn’t going to feel alone forever, and that it wasn’t his fault.
‘Half-drunk, friends feeling like strangers; nothing ever changes. I know I’m forever, dancing all alone.’
The beat really dropped then, Buck dancing back into him, lifting his fist in the air as the music washed over him. Eddie was too caught up in the lyrics, the last lines hitting home. ‘I know I’m forever, dancing on my own.’
“Dance with me Eds!”
Eddie stumbled out of his thoughts to see Buck had turned in his hold, now facing him, blues alight. “Um, what?” Eddie wanted, needed, to make sure he’d heard Buck right.
Buck reached a hand out for him, Eddie hesitantly taking it in his own, Buck spinning himself around, Eddie catching him easy as ever. They danced around, Buck’s hands coming around his shoulders at one point, thumbs brushing against his neck. Eddie placed his hands on Buck’s waist, trying to keep him at a distance, though as others danced around them, they were pushed closer together, Eddie tightening his hold, Buck grinding his hips against Eddie’s. If not for Buck’s sharp intake of breath in his ear, Eddie would’ve thought his movements to be accidental. Still, Eddie reminded himself it was just the heat of a moment thing, an appropriate response to everything happening around them. This was not a date, and Buck didn’t have feelings for him like that.
When the song ended, the concert did as well, the lights beginning to dim around them. All Eddie could see was blue, Buck facing him, not loosening his grip around him. Eddie looked right into him, catching the glints of sweat lining Buck’s face, watching as a bead fell down his face, disappearing underneath the collar of his shirt. He watched as Buck darted his tongue out, licking at his lips. Eddie leaned just half an inch closer, still not looking away. Just as he let himself think maybe it was a date, the announcer came over the mike, telling everyone it was time to get going.
Buck pulled back a tinge, though still stayed relatively close. When it came their turn to move, Eddie braved himself once more, reaching for Buck’s hand. “Don’t wanna lose you.” Buck bit at his lower lip, rolling it between his teeth before letting it loose. “No, no we wouldn’t want that.”
Eddie pulled Buck along with him, finagling them out of the crowd and back to the jeep. His hand was still clasped with Buck’s, both seeming reluctant to let go. He wasn’t sure who dropped the hold first, Eddie using his now empty hand to run through his sweaty hair, watching as Buck did the same.
“Thanks, uh, for coming tonight. I um…” Buck ducked his head, suddenly seeming shy. He looked back up, just catching Eddie’s eyes as he finished with, “I had fun tonight, Eds. I had fun with you.” The last word was almost a whisper, Eddie just barely making it out. Eddie’s breath caught. He wasn’t sure how to respond but unable to look away from Buck all the same.
“I’m glad you invited me. I—I had fun with you too, Buck.”
That earned him another shy smile before Buck was rounding to his side of the jeep, Eddie clearing his thoughts as he made to join him.
Buck put on his playlist, Eddie recognizing more of the songs than he had on their way over, having heard a decent amount of them at the concert.
Neither of them spoke as they drove, the music filling the silence, both their windows down, the cool breeze slipping in.
Buck pulled into his drive after a time, putting it in park. Eddie watched as Buck’s hand gripped the gear shift almost nervously, twisting it around as he seemed to debate with his words.
“Well—”
“Come in.”
Eddie cut Buck off, saying it as more of a request than an offer.
Buck gave a quick smile and nod of his head before turning the jeep off and hopping out, almost as if he were afraid Eddie were going to take it back.
They walked up to the door together, Eddie opening it and letting Buck in, Buck slipping off his warn shoes, leaving them strewn about.
“I uh, I think I’m gonna grab a shower. You can use the guest one if you want.”
He wasn’t sure why those were the first words he said once they entered, only that he knew he couldn’t think straight with Buck’s scent and touch lingering all around him.
“Um yea, yea ok.”
Eddie gave a simple nod of his head before making his way down the hallway to his own room. He knew he didn’t have to show Buck where anything was, Buck knowing the layout of his house almost as well if he did if not better, especially where the kitchen was concerned.
Eddie let the warm water wash over him, scrubbing his body thoroughly. It didn’t erase Buck’s touch, the man’s scent still fresh in his nose as if he were still stood in front of him, their fingers threaded together securely.
After changing into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, Eddie grabbed a set for Buck—a hoodie instead of a t-shirt—setting them just outside the door for the man to grab.
He wandered into the kitchen, grabbing them each a beer, popping the tops off. Scrolling through his phone, Eddie found the song he was looking for, the one that Buck had been anticipating the entire concert. It wasn’t a sad song, exactly; not until you listened to the lyrics anyway.
“Hey.”
Eddie looked up from his phone as Buck walked in, the man looking sleep soft and snuggly in Eddie’s clothing. He yearned to reach out and tug him in close.
“Hey, feel better?” Buck nodded, taking the beer as Eddie passed it over.
Buck tapped on the bottle, picking at the label, not making any moves to take a sip.
“I um, I probably shouldn’t have any. Have to—drive home soon.”
“Stay.”
Their eyes met then, bright blues locking with warm browns.
“Eddie…” Buck trailed off, Eddie shaking his head. Grabbing for his phone, Eddie pressed play, the familiar music from earlier filling the room. Buck looked to him with furrowed brows, Eddie reaching for him.
Buck’s hand fit right into his, Eddie reeling him in close. He placed one hand to Buck’s waist, taking his other with his own, swaying them from side to side. Buck looked hesitant, stiff at first, but eventually relaxing into Eddie’s hold. Eddie spun him around as the music picked up, their faces mere inches apart as he pulled Buck back up to him.
“You never have to dance alone. I’ll be your dance partner. Forever.”
Buck gasped a little, hands tightening where they were wrapped around Eddie’s waist.
“Eddie I—was tonight a date?”
Eddie looked right into those ocean blues, the ones he knew so well, the ones he’d follow anywhere. He was ready to dive right in, no matter the consequences.
“Yes. At least, to me it was.”
Buck closed the distance between them, pressing his lips to Eddie’s in a searing kiss. It was like the rush of the music, the high of a successful call, and the feeling of the wind whipping across your face all in one. Kissing Buck was like listening to music—not only could you hear it, but you felt it too.
“It was to me too.” Buck kissed him again, pulling away to add, “a date, I mean.”
Eddie smiled against him, bringing his hands up to intertwine with Bucks that were rested on either side of his face.
“I’m really glad you won those concert tickets.”
Buck huffed out a laugh into the space between them.
“Yea, me too.”
Eddie leaned forward so their foreheads were pressed together, inhaling his favorite scent.
“Hey Eds?”
“Mm?”
Buck rubbed their noses together, moving his hands to Eddie’s hips.
“Will you dance with me?”
Yea, Eddie could do that. Eddie would dance with Buck for the rest of his life. Neither of them would have to feel alone, ever again.