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Anya knows what you are, Loid Forger.
Okay, maybe that’s not the best approach. Maybe she should explain herself.
Anya knew about Papa’s… re-grass-shun , or whatever he called it. She didn’t really understand it completely. All she knew is that Papa felt “small,” especially when he had a particularly hard spy mission, and Mama took care of him like she would of Anya.
However, even if she didn’t understand Papa’s re-grass-shun, Anya still supported him 100%! Spies always support their friends, that’s what Bondman said!
And today was the perfect day to show her support, as with one quick read of Papa’s mind, she learned that he felt small. She didn’t necessarily have to read his mind to figure out something was going on, though. Papa seemed more fidgety and wasn’t as focused on helping her on her homework like he usually was. His knee was bouncing and shaking the coffee table, and he kept examining his nails and chewing on them. This slightly annoyed Anya, because it made it hard for her to neatly write, and she already struggled enough with that as it is! Anya didn’t exactly know how to politely ask him to stop and help her with this math problem, though, so she ended up staring at him until he noticed her.
Another thing that annoyed Anya and made it hard for her to focus was Papa’s endless, racing thoughts. His brain bounced from one topic to another: the mission he had that day, Operation Strix, his stomach hurting, his exhaustion and insomnia, he didn’t want to get up from the couch, what to eat for dinner, Yor coming home very late because she had a last-minute assassination mission…
And to top it all off: he felt small.
Papa was obviously distracted, and Anya didn’t really want to do her homework, so Anya figured this was the perfect time to show off her care-gibber skills!
But first, she had to spill the beans to Papa.
So, Anya was currently sitting on the bathroom sink while practicing what she was going to say to her own reflection in the mirror.
Heh… This will be perfect. Then we can play for the rest of the night and not have to do stinky homework!
After talking to herself about how good of a plan this was for about 5 minutes more, Anya stepped out of the bathroom. Loid was reading over her homework.
“Everything okay? You were in there for a while…” Loid looked up from Anya’s notebook.
This is it, Agent Starlight!
Anya took a deep breath…
“I know what you are, Papa.”
Noooooooooo!
Anya froze. Her eyes went wide, and an embarrassed blush overtook her face. She messed up!
Loid froze, and his eyes went wide as well. He blinked surprisedly at Anya. His thoughts were racing even faster now, although he maintained his calm, serious exterior.
What does she mean by that? Does she know I’m a spy? No, that’s impossible, Twilight. She can’t read minds… Can she?! No, she can’t. Stop thinking of such silly things. But if that’s not what she means, then what did she mean?!
Anya restrained herself from making a face. She had to fix this!
She pointed at Loid and stated bluntly, “Papa baby.”
Loid gaped at her.
What does that mean?! Does she know about my regression? That seems to be the case… Does she even really understand it though? You’ve been too careless, Twilight, too careless! If Anya can figure out you regress, anyone else could, too! If the enemy figured it out, they could use it against me. A regressor on the battlefield is definitely not a good thing… Should I explain it to her? Ugh, I wish Yor was here…
“P-Papa baby, so he needs baby time. As the care-gibber , I say baby time now! No more homework!” Anya put her hands on her hips and had a serious expression on her face.
Loid gave his daughter an awkward smile. “Haha, Anya, starlight, I’m… touched by you wanting to help, but we should finish our homework.”
Anya pouted. Suddenly, she got an idea, and she quickly turned and ran to her room. Papa needed baby time! No waiting for Mama!
Loid stood up from the couch and shouted after her. “Anya! Come back here, you need to do your homework. This isn’t negotiable!”
Anya slowly approached her father with Mr. Chimera, Agent Penguinman, and the robot plushie in her arms and put on the sweetest puppy eyes she could muster. “Papa, can we take a break and play? Just for a little bit?”
Loid frowned at her disapprovingly, but after a moment, he sighed and nodded anyway. Haha, her cuteness worked on him like a charm! She could feel her cuteness stat level up to 1,000,001!
She sat her plushie friends on the couch and then started to rearrange the room so it would be suitable for play. She dumped all of her homework onto the floor (which Loid cleaned up while grumbling under his breath) and threw all the pillows off the couch and onto the floor. Anya made a quick trip back to her room to grab a fancy tea set Yor had given her.
“Anya wants a tea party!”
She set the plushies down on separate pillows and gave each of their respective tiny plates and teacup. Now that the set-up was done, it was time for the party to begin! She excitedly plopped down onto her pillow and looked around the table. Something was missing… They still had one pillow that was vacant, and they needed someone to fill it.
“Papa!” Anya yelled to her father, who was poking around the kitchen and thinking about what to make for dinner. Her shout startled him, and he nearly bonked his head on the top of the fridge.
He sighed, “Yes, Anya?”
“Join us! We’re having a tea party!”
Loid sighed again, “Anya, I have to get dinner going. It’s nearly 7 o’clock.”
“Pleeeeeease? Just for a little while?”
Anya could hear his thoughts debating with themselves, but the small thought that “it would be nice to play… just for a little bit” ultimately won Loid over. He joined Anya at the coffee table, or rather, tea table. Anya cheered as he sat down, which made Loid’s face turn red with embarrassment.
Anya stuck her nose up in the air, trying to imitate fancy, rich people. “Would you like some tea, Sir Papa?”
Loid silently held up his cup. It was too tiny for him to hold the handle with his hand, so he had to hold it with one finger. Anya poured imaginary tea into his cup. She nodded approvingly, and Loid neatly set his cup back down next to his tiny plate. He watched his daughter repeat the same process for Mr. Chimera, Agent Penguinman, and the robot.
Once she was done, Anya grabbed Mr. Chimera and made him speak: “My, you are certainly rich in sweets, Anya-san!”
Agent Penguinman chimed in, “Yes, yes, I am getting hungry. Could I have a pastry?”
“Of course, Agent Penguinman!” Anya grabbed a plastic croissant from the serving stand and put it on the penguin’s plate. She then turned to her father.
“Papa, do you want a pastry?”
Loid’s head snapped up. He had been absentmindedly staring at Anya playing with her plushies while pretending to drink from his tea cup. Sensing something was off, Anya took a peek into Loid’s thoughts. She noticed that these thoughts were slightly different in pronunciation and pitch, and Loid’s thought processes were slower, calmer, and more childlike. A huge contrast from his previous sharp, serious, and anxiety-ridden thinking.
That was when Anya realized: Papa was ree-grass-ed!
But this was no time for celebration, Anya told herself. It was time for the expert care-gibber to care-gib!
“Here you go, Papa, have a pastry.” Anya placed a plastic cupcake and slice of cake on his plate. Loid nodded in thanks.
They continued their tea party, and Anya learned that Baby Papa had very little energy to really do anything. That was understandable, Papa needed time to rest. This was his baby time.
The psychic was busy giving more tea to Mr. Chimera, and in the corner of her eye, she saw Loid yawn and flop onto his back. Anya’s face lit up. They could roll on the floor together! She loved to do that!
The little girl flopped down next to her Papa, which made him turn his head, and he faced her with a curious expression. She started rolling around on the floor, accidentally bumping into Mr. Chimera, the TV, and such. A small smile grew on Loid’s face, and he started rolling around with her. When they occasionally bumped into each other, Anya giggled, which prompted Loid to giggle with her.
A big smile grew on Anya’s face. She was having so much fun with Papa! Anya admits that a part of her thinks it’s kind of cool… Baby Papa was like her little brother! Haha… she was in charge now!
Just then, Anya and Loid’s stomachs growled in unison.
“Unlimited peanuts for all!” Anya announced as she sat up. She chanted “peanuts” all the way to the kitchen. Loid stayed behind—He was content to remain on the floor.
Anya returned, munching on a big bag of peanuts. She sat down and offered Loid the bag. He started nibbling on a peanut.
The psychic huffed triumphantly. She was doing a great job care-gibbing! See, they didn’t need Mama after all. Anya was the master of baby time.
Now, back to her earlier question: what other things could they do…?
As inspiration struck her, she gasped and wiped her salty hands on her clothes.
“C’mon, Papa, I know what other games we can play!”
****
Yor grunted as she heaved herself up the stairs. To say she was incredibly exhausted was an understatement, and she wanted nothing more than to eat dinner with her family and then go to bed.
Her hands wouldn’t stop shaking, fueled to the brim with previous adrenaline, and she fumbled with her keys. She eventually got the front door open, and her face lit up.
Her mind filled with expectations for what she would see. Loid and Anya would be finished with dinner and watching Bondman. Loid would immediately greet her at the door with a hug and kiss and go into the kitchen to heat up her dinner. Anya would loudly greet her from across the apartment, and Yor would go and give her a big hug.
However, when she stepped into the apartment, that is not what she saw.
Practically everything was in disarray. All the furniture was out of place, the TV was on, the kitchen sink was on for some reason, the pantry was open, and Anya’s homework and toys were scattered all over the floor. The coat rack was also knocked down, nearly making Yor trip and fall flat on her face. She did not need any more injuries, thank you very much. And even if she fell down, she doesn’t think she’d have the energy to get back up.
In the middle of all this chaos sat the two perpetrators. They had poorly-applied makeup splattered all over their faces. Their hair was also a mess: they had all kinds of bows, ponytails, clips, and other nonsense in there. They were perched right in front of the TV, where Bondman, of course, was playing. Their heads both snapped up at the sound of Yor entering.
“Mama!” Anya and Loid shouted in unison and ran to give Yor a hug. Loid got there first.
“Oh! H-Hello there…” Yor was taken aback and hesitantly picked up Loid. He looked ecstatic at the action and nuzzled deeper into her neck. She was surprised to see Loid was regressed. Didn’t he want to keep it a secret from Anya? Not much of a secret now…
“Papa baby,” Anya said to Yor while pointing at Loid. She puffed out her chest proudly. “Anya took care!”
Yor blinked surprisedly. “W-Well thank you, Miss Anya. It seems like you’ve been very respons...”
She trailed off and looked around the room. The house looked like a tornado hit it. It was an absolute disaster.
“O-kay… Maybe not as responsible as I first thought, but it was your first time! I know you tried really hard. I think you did a good job, Miss Anya!” Yor smiled warmly.
Anya stuck her nose up in the air and huffed triumphantly.
“How about we get cleaned up, eat dinner, and then clean up this mess?”
Anya saluted and ran to the bathroom.
Someone, however, did not have the same energy. As soon as Yor picked him up, Loid fell asleep. Yor smiled fondly and carried him to the bathroom in her room.
She grabbed a washcloth from the drying rack and set Loid down on the toilet seat. As soon as she set him down, he woke up and grumbled, upset that she wasn’t holding him anymore.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I can’t clean your beautiful face if I’m holding you. It’ll just be for a second.”
Loid still didn’t look happy about it, but he allowed Yor to wipe off the makeup from his face and remove all the decorations in his hair. Once she was done, she picked him up back up again. He happily nuzzled into her chest and promptly fell asleep once again.
She exited her room, and at the same time, Anya exited the bathroom, now clean and wearing her pajamas.
“Can you start cleaning up while I put your father to bed, Miss Anya?” Yor asked as she shifted her hold on Loid to open his bedroom door.
Anya saluted and ran off to the living room.
Yor entered Loid’s room and placed him on his bed. After a moment of thought, she ducked down to grab the box underneath the bed and pulled out Loid’s worn, stuffed bear. She drew the covers up, but she made sure to carefully tuck the blankets so his bear could breathe too.
“Good night, my baby.” She kissed his cheek.
She looked back at Loid’s sleeping form before closing the door.
Loid smiled in his sleep.