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He falls.
The stars and the moons taunt them in the sky, so bright and beautiful. The balcony rushes away from him all too fast.
He falls.
Their thoughts are so scattered- the panic settling in their chest, the resignation, the confusion. It always comes back to this. The fall, and the fear, never knowing when he’ll hit the ground. They dream about it so often it’s stuck in his brain in a loop- falling and falling and never hitting the ground. They could close their eyes, but the stars are so lovely. Might as well have one good thing before he goes.
A scream, somewhere below them.
He falls.
They never hit the ground. Not in these dreams. Just endless falling. The screaming is getting closer. He frowns. Why is it getting closer? Why-
The pain comes too soon, white hot and blinding. They feel their body shatter, pieces breaking away like rubble. He closes his eyes. Begs his mind to wake up. Everything hurts.
Ashton woke to hushed voices arguing. It was a strangely comforting sound, after so many years of running with groups that tended to clash. Arguing was better than silence, in his opinion. Silence just meant they were alone again. His body was stiff and sore, and Ashton silently tried to assess the situation. They weren’t tied down, which was a positive, but he wasn’t convinced he could move right now, either. He was in pain- not surprising- but it was dulled, making it hard to tell what state his body was in.
A quick glance at his surroundings calmed Ashton’s nerves. He knew this room, recognised this view and the table he was presumably lying on. Milo’s workshop. The place where his friend had fixed them up all those years ago. It wasn’t somewhere he particularly wanted to find himself, but it was a good sign. They were probably safe, at least.
They turned their attention to the voices. Two people, Ashton realised. It wasn’t hard to pick out Milo, their voice growing gradually louder in frustration, but the other took a second to place. Definitely familiar, he thought, and probably female. It was too soft to make out any words, or much affectation to the speech, but it was gentle and lilting. Not Anni then, Ashton decided. It wasn’t rough enough. Not Imogen or Laudna either. Their voices were too distinctive, even in hushed tones.
“-and quit stealing my stuff! I saved up for those tools.”
Ashton’s mouth twitched faintly. Fearne. He should have guessed. A door opened, and the voices got clearer, as Fearne responded.
“Oh, these? Well how was I supposed to know they were yours? You shouldn’t leave things lying around like that.”
They had moved into the room, Ashton realised, keeping their eyes closed. Milo grumbled something under their breath, but apparently decided it wasn’t worth pushing the issue.
“Where did you say you met Ashton again? They’ve never mentioned you.”
Wait, that wasn’t right. Milo had met Fearne, hadn’t they? He had brought the whole group to Krook House near the beginning, and Fearne had definitely been there. They remembered her insisting that Milo’s stare had tickled.
“Oh,” Fearne laughed, “Well, they stole something from me, so I had to steal it back.”
Ashton snorted. That pretty much summed up their entire relationship. He heard the pair fall silent, and then the sound of Fearne’s hooves as she came over.
“Ashton?” They could hear the faint tremble in her voice. She was scared. Of what, Ashton wasn’t sure, but he recognised that sound. Something was wrong.
“Hey. Hey! Give him some space, lady!” Milo called.
Ashton opened their eyes, entirely unsurprised to find Fearne’s face right next to his. A petal from one of her many flowers landed on his cheek.
“Hey, Fearne,” They mumbled, unable to keep the exhaustion from their voice, “Mind letting me up?”
Fearne’s face brightened, and she shifted away from them slightly, so he could at least turn his head to look at Milo.
“So you do know her then,” They commented mildly, “I wasn’t sure.”
Ashton frowned at them in confusion.
“Yeah, I know her. I introduced you to her, along with the rest of the-”
Fearne’s hand abruptly covered his mouth. Her eyes were wide and panicked, and she shook her head frantically.
“I think Ashton and I should probably talk alone,” She said in a rush, shooting him a pleading look.
Ashton eyed Fearne warily. It wouldn’t be the first time she had decided to mess with people for no reason, but this didn’t feel like the other times. She looked genuine in her panic. They sighed. Even if she was just messing around, it couldn’t hurt to play along and see what she wanted.
“Yeah,” They attempted. Fearne sheepishly removed her hand, and he repeated himself, “That sounds like a good idea.”
Milo looked incredibly confused.
“You sure? If she’s got you in some weird fey contract, we can probably find a way to-”
“It’s fine. Really,” Milo still looked unconvinced, “Fearne is my friend. I trust her.”
“Wh- Okay, then. If you’re sure,” They frowned at Fearne one more time, before heading for the door.
Ashton waited, listening for the sound of the door clicking shut, and turned back towards Fearne. She was still leaning partially over him, her face needlessly close to his.
“Fearne,” Ashton began, “What’s going on?”
All at once, Fearne’s face crumpled. It was like they had uttered some kind of magic words. Her cheerful demeanour vanished, replaced by utter misery. She looked more scared and upset than he could ever recall seeing her before. It reminded her of how she had looked when Orym and Laudna were gone. An uneasy feeling settled in their stomach like a heavy pit.
“I’m sorry,” Fearne burst out, “I was so scared, and everyone was gone, and I didn’t mean to, Ashton, I swear! I didn’t even know I could, and then I was here, and I didn’t know if you would remember me, but I had to try. But I couldn’t even-”
Fearne broke off, rubbing at her face with her hands. She was rambling, Ashton realised, but none of what she was saying made sense. Fearne had done something? And it had worked, except maybe not. Ashton tried desperately to clear the fuzz from his mind, to think back.
There had been a fight, he remembered. It had been unexpected, and they’d been exhausted from the very start, all of them working from reserves they didn’t have. They remembered the others falling, one by one; remembered Imogen and Laudna, reaching desperately for each other, FCG’s head torn from their body, Orym and Chetney’s glassy eyes staring up at him. They remembered Fearne, grabbing his hand, and flames rushing over their skin. They remembered falling.
“What did you do, exactly? I remember you grabbing me, but-”
Fearne let out a choked sob.
“I don’t know. I don’t know! I just panicked, and I was thinking about getting somewhere safe and then we were here, and you were falling, and I couldn’t stop it.”
“You-” Slowly, too slowly, Ashton turned his attention back to his body. He’d forgotten, in the confusion, exactly where he was. Lying on Milo’s workbench, unable to move. Exactly like- Ashton felt sick.
“Fearne? I’m going to say some things, and I want you to tell me if they’re true or not, yeah?”
Fearne sniffled.
“Okay.”
Ashton took a shaky breath.
“There was a fight… The others went down and you- you bamfed us back in time…to the moment of my fall?”
Slowly, Fearne nodded.
“Fuck.”
“Yeah.”
“So, my body is wrecked?”
It made sense. Most of their memories from the time right after the fall were a blur of pain and shock, but he remembered how long the recovery had been. They had practically had to relearn how to function again. Fearne tilted her head, her eyes going wide.
“Oh, well. Not exactly.”
Ashton shut their eyes.
“Fearne,” He sighed. They heard shuffling, and the sound of Fearne’s hooves as she moved away from him. After a moment, she returned. Ashton opened one eye. She was holding a mirror, tucking it almost behind her back as if to prevent them from seeing it.
“You have to understand,” She began, looking anxious, “I could only do so much to help. My mind remembers how to do the spells, but my body doesn’t. I-I couldn’t fix it all the way. I tried really hard, Ashton, I swear.”
“Show me.”
“Asht-”
“Show me,” They repeated, a little gentler. He couldn’t blame Fearne for what had happened. Not really. They probably would have died if they stayed another moment in that fight. What Fearne had done was terrifying, and confusing, but they were alive. They were safe. Their friends were safe too, presumably, whether or not they would remember anything of what had happened. Whatever Fearne had done to him, they knew she had done her best.
Slowly, Fearne lifted the mirror, and finally, Ashton saw what she had done.
It was- Ashton had never thought the word beautiful in relation to himself, but it was hard to think of this as anything else. The golden veins running like rivers across his chest and arms were gone, replaced by a carpet of vibrant succulents running the length of his left arm. They clustered at the top of his shoulder, and distilled out to just a few circling his wrist, a myriad of purples and reds and oranges and greens. Fearne adjusted the mirror slightly, and Ashton found himself looking at the top of his head. They smothered a smile. She had kept the glass- of course she had- but it felt cleaner somehow. The edges blended more naturally into his skull with the addition of even more succulents, lining the edge of his crystal hairline like a crown.
“It’s incredible,” They murmured, fixing Fearne with a sincere smile, “Thank you.”
“Oh,” Fearne brightened, her eyes still sparkling with unshed tears, “Is it really alright? I thought about so many different plants to fill the space, but none of them felt right, and then I thought about how durable succulents are, and I didn’t think you’d want flowers, really. I mean, some of them might flower, sometimes, but I- I’m not sure exactly, but-”
Ashton let Fearne ramble. She seemed lighter now, as if the weight of not knowing how he would react had been clinging to her like a dark shroud. They lifted their head, carefully, and was surprised to find that it didn’t hurt. No more than the usual achiness from lying in one position for too long, anyway. Gingerly, Ashton lifted a hand. Fearne cut off whatever she was saying, and frowned at him.
“You shouldn’t move around too much. You’re still healing, and I only have so much magic.”
“Yeah, okay,” Ashton could already feel whatever energy they had mustered fading, as he realised just how exhausted he still was. He sank back onto the table, smiling faintly as they felt Fearne’s hand brush against their wrist. It was hard to tell if the heat that flared from that spot was from her touch alone, or the light healing magic that rippled through his body. Their thoughts were getting fuzzy again, dulled by the sleepy warmth.
“Get some sleep,” Fearne told him softly.
Ashton’s eyes had closed without him meaning to. He held out for a moment, feeling Fearne take his hand in hers, before letting sleep grip them once more.