Work Text:
Stella’s grandfather isn’t like others. It wasn’t the fact that he could still walk with relative ease or how he could still cook, but something that she couldn’t ever tell her friends.
Her grandfather was a spy, and he was married to an assassin.
She only knew of this because Loid, her grandfather, told her. He told her, and he also did not tell her.
He was physically healthy, aside from his hand injury. The same couldn’t be said for his state of mind, unfortunately. Her mother explained to her when she was younger that it was like he was stuck in the past, and that he could get easily confused with certain things.
One of those things was Stella herself. She doesn’t remember a time when her grandfather ever called her by name. It was always “Anya,” her mother’s name. No matter how many times she tried to correct him, it never stuck. So, she let it be. She didn’t mind in the end, really. With how Stella inherited the same light pink hair from her mother, it was easy to see how he could mistake her for his daughter. It became normal to the point that even when her mother was there, Stella would still turn her head toward her grandfather when he said Anya’s name.
Stella learned how to care for her grandfather. Two, three times a week she would visit him, accompanying her mother. They would make sure that he was eating well, and that he was healthy. Most days that they visited were calm. Loid would ask his daughter how she was doing, and she would reply that she was doing fine as always. He would also ask about Stella too, despite her being there in the same room.
The days when he would ask questions about Yor however, were days that Stella learned weren’t the best.
Stella could see how her mother would bite her lip whenever Loid mentioned her grandmother, asking where she is or how he was waiting for her to come back from city hall. How her eyes would crease in both pain and bitterness before she would curtly say that Yor was out for a bit, or that she would be coming home soon. Anya would always reply in the same way. Numbed, with a small sigh before it.
The clear estrangement between her mother and grandfather was something Stella was never quite understood. Loid was always warm toward his daughter, while she in turn kept her distance, heart guarded away. She asked her mother once, about this. Unfortunately, all she got was a hesitant, tired, short reply of “It’s complicated.”
Stella didn’t ask why anymore after that. If her mother didn’t want to talk about it, then that was that. She knew not to push, lest she cross a line that she shouldn’t. But still, she was curious. Curious of what her mother was like when she was younger, curious over what her grandfather was like when he took care of her, along with what his wife was like.
And more importantly, despite deciding to never broach the subject to her mother again, the reason why Anya looked at her father with bitterness and pity sometimes.
Over the course of a few years, Stella learned bits and pieces of her mother's childhood. She learned that her grandfather is actually from Westalis, and that he had adopted Anya. She was also told that her grandparents were exceptional people of particular skills, with her father being an excellent liar and her mother being able to survive a car crash.
Stella thought her mother was only exaggerating when she grew older. It was something akin to a tale like Santa Claus, where it was meant to humor children. At some point, she believed that her grandparents were most likely just talented people. That they were government officials or doctors like her mother, who worked her own special cool job.
It wasn't until that her grandfather started talking about her mother's childhood that she realized she wasn't exaggerating.
Of course, Loid wasn't actually telling Stella about her mother's childhood. With his illness, he still mistook her for Anya. But it was because of this simple misunderstanding that Stella learned more about her grandparents and her mother than she ever knew.
On days when it was just Stella visiting, Loid would sometimes ask her whether she remembered certain parts of her childhood, referring to her as Anya whenever he talked to her. She would say no, that she didn't remember. To that, Loid would smile and begin to fondly reminisce. Stella was curious to learn of what her mother was like, since she seldom talked about it. Or rather, that she didn't want to talk about it.
Loid would always fondly talk of Anya’s childhood. From him, Stella learned that her mother was actually not the brightest student back then, despite her accomplishments now. She learned that despite all the trouble and shenanigans that she did as a kid, Loid fell in love with her. How that when the day he realized he couldn’t leave her behind, he cried.
Stella wasn’t sure what he meant by leaving her mother behind. It didn’t make sense, not when Loid spoke of Anya so tenderly. But no matter how much she asked her grandfather, she couldn’t figure out much. Loid would only have a somber expression, shaking his head as he repeated how awful he was for even considering to return Anya to the orphanage. It only raised more questions, of which Stella was unable to glean from her grandfather.
When it wasn’t her mother’s childhood, Loid would ask for Yor. It was during these rare moments that Stella could learn about the grandmother she's never met. Anya never spoke much of her mother, save for saying that she was very strong.
Loid did in fact talk about how strong Yor was. But it wasn’t necessarily for her physical strength. Yes, there were moments when he talked of how she could swing a tennis racket so hard that she could create a hole in the racket, but he never focused on those parts much.
He talked of how strong she was when taking care of Anya, how strong she was for being a mother and a wife. Stella saw how his eyes grew soft, and how his voice cracks a little when he continues to reminisce about their days of marriage. When Loid asks about her at the end, Stella is unable to say anything except mimic what her mother says. Except unlike the bitterness of her mother, she replies with a numbed pain in her heart.
In the end, Stella still isn’t sure what exactly caused her mother and grandfather’s relationship to change. Between her mother’s reluctance to speak and her grandfather’s inability to clearly explain what happen, there are still many pieces that she’s unsure of.
Despite it all, she learned one thing about her grandfather. He had made mistakes. Many, many mistakes from what Stella learned and assumed. He admitted them, and he showed remorse, even if it wasn’t clear in what in spoke of. He loved and missed his wife, even if he couldn’t see her anymore. He loved his daughter dearly, no matter how many times Anya would curtly speak to him.
There was one other thing that Stella learned throughout her visits to her grandfather. It wasn’t when she went alone, however. It was when she was with her mother, where Anya, the actual Anya, would take care of and talk to her father.
Her mother still loves him, despite how often she numbly spoke to him, bitterness in her tone and expression. Maybe her love for her father wasn’t the same as it was when she was younger, but Stella knew her mother. For all of Anya's bitterness, her daughter saw how she would always turn back to her papa before they left.
They were small pieces of the Forger family puzzle. Small, tiny, and seemingly impossibly to put together with how much Stella wasn’t yet aware of.
But like any puzzle, the young girl knew that there were still missing pieces to pick up.
It was just a matter of when she would find them.