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how to care for marigolds : keep the soil provided moist, especially during prolonged dry periods, and give them a thorough water once a week. they prefer moist soil to dry soil, and they need lots of sunlight to grow well.
rui knew that. rui knew all of that and more.
he can’t even recall when he’s started planting marigolds so often, more than half his pots in the greening community taken over by the sunset coloured flowers. not that he minds, of course, it was lovely to see bright, cheerful flowers in his flowerpots.
marigolds were cute, even, until they make their way into his mind. and his own home.
“rui, i didn’t know you brought flowers home! what’s this one?”
“ah, they’re marigolds—,” rui momentarily pauses. he also doesn’t recall when he’s brought home these flowers. a patch of marigolds were in his house now, with a huge can that worked as a makeshift watering can.
“marigolds? they look like my hair!” tsukasa guffaws, bringing up the flower to his head in comparison.
oh, rui realises in his head. that was why he liked marigolds this much.
he supposes they were quite alike, from their colour schemes to how they needed much care to thrive. but, tsukasa couldn’t compare to a flower. marigolds aren’t able to showcase tsukasa in all his beauty.
“i think you’re prettier than one,” a quiet, traitorous voice speaks for him.
..he definitely said that against his will. rui’s breath hitches, horrified at both his head and his boldness.
tsukasa seems to have turned just as red as the marigold he’s clutching in his hands, frozen with his mouth hanging open. he eventually manages to splutter out a squeaky thank you.
rui makes a small note to himself to plant more marigolds.
———
recently, rui’s developed this overwhelming urge to hug tsukasa.
it didn’t matter when, it just never went away. and it was sickening. it plagued him even when he was talking to people that weren’t tsukasa! getting chided by nene for forgetting what emu told him was not a good look for the director.
surely if he hugged tsukasa once, it would all go away?
“tsukasa-kun, could i try something?“ he asks one day when they were in the changing rooms, alone, preparing for a show.
“huh? ..what do you have planned for me?”
rui inhales sharply. “i want a hug.”
doubtful eyes meet his nervous ones. “..from me?”
rui drew a little closer until their shoulders almost touched. “i want it to be you.”
tsukasa nods slowly, shuffles closer awkwardly, and there it was, a hug.
for someone who usually had cold hands, rui’s was getting horribly sweaty. what if he got his gross hand sweat on tsukasa’s clothes? oh god, he rarely got to hug tsukasa and he was about to get his hand sweat on him.
“..good,” tsukasa mumbles quietly into rui’s shoulder, so soft that he almost missed it with his sharp ears.
..suddenly, all thoughts seemed to be drained away, nothing left but this sudden urge to kiss him.
not on his forehead, not on his cheek, but on those lovely, soft-looking lips that were hidden behind rui’s shoulder from the position they hugged in.
and then, blissfully ignorant of the small changing rooms of the backstage they were in, the circumstances, their tender friendship, he leaned in for more than just a half-hearted hug.
and it felt right.
tsukasa did not stumble away from him with disgust, neither with a shocked expression on his face, but instead gave into the warm hug, fingers clasped tightly around rui’s back. his heart squeezed even harder when he notices the boy in his arms tiptoe in order to engulf him in a proper hug.
after a few seconds that felt like an eternity, rui opened his eyes again and pulled away a few centimetres, only to see the other being bright red, a puzzled expression on his face.
and that was when rui snapped back into reality, fully realising the impact of what he had just done. he’d done it, he’d pulled tsukasa into a huge hug he didn’t even want.
he could feel his cheeks burn, desperately grappling for a worthy, reasonable explanation but all that ended up escaping his mouth was a feeble “sorry, i shouldn’t have–,” before his words ceased into thin air and he just stood there, helplessly.
“hurry up, the audience is waiting,” nene barges into the room. “huh? what the..!”
to call finding your two troupe mates standing suspiciously close to one another, faces even more suspiciously red, in their own changing rooms, horrifying would be an understatement. she yelps, leaves the door wide open and sprints away, evident by the loud taps that came along with her bolting.
tsukasa had been uncharacteristically quiet during all of this, but now he had started moving, softly tugging at rui’s coat sleeve.
and they hug once more.
——
nene corners him immediately after their show ends. they’re in the props room now, and rui is on his way back to the changing rooms when a certain pissed-off friend grips the bottom of his shirt and pulls him to face them. unfortunately, when his eyes instinctively dart around to look for a saviour, tsukasa is nowhere to be found.
“rui! what is it with you and tsukasa?” she asks as soon as rui’s eyes met hers.
“huh?” rui asks, feigning confusion. truthfully, his heart pounds away in his chest.
“you and tsukasa. you both are all..” nene pauses, waving her hands around in an awkwardly hugging motion like she’s motioning to hug an invisible emu. “awfully touchy, ..especially whatever that was.”
rui shrugs. “that’s just how we are, you know that.” he recalls that tsukasa had been touchy for as long as he could remember, throwing his arms around his shoulders, a head on his shoulder when he’s droning about being tired, and tugging him around by the elbow when rui got a little to absorbed in his projects. maybe the occasional hug that sent him into overdrive, but that’s just what tsukasa did, as friends.
surely, he did it to everyone — to emu, nene, saki, even toya? he never considered the idea of tsukasa being touchy with only him.
nene is staring at him again, looking at him with a look that told him she was already done with this conversation. “sure. him and i have been friends for almost a whole year and he’s probably hugged me twice.”
“..really?”
this conversation had him freaked. was it weird, how physically close he and tsukasa were? maybe he leaned on and hugged rui more than others in their troupe, but they were best friends. it was normal, right?
rui doesn't have enough experience with friendships, or relationships, to answer that question.
fine, he has a crush on tsukasa, he’s come to terms with that.
all he knows is that he doesn’t mind when tsukasa’s hands are on him, it’s comforting, warm, even. honestly, a small part of rui thinks it’s nice. he undoubtedly looked forward to their small physical interactions, even if he had to experience the fiery burning in his gut that wanted more.
he actually wanted to touch tsukasa more.
oh god, he likes it when tsukasa awkwardly drapes his arm on his shoulder, or when tsukasa indulges himself by leaning on his shoulder when he’s sleepy. even when tsukasa has to lean in, lean real close to him to talk because the atmosphere they were in is so loud. he likes in when tsukasa graces him in touches.
oh, this was bad. bad for his already messed up sleep schedule. watching the red creep onto his face, nene places a hand to her forehead, silently mumbling curses that she knew rui could hear.
“ugh, hopeless.. the two of you!” she storms off, knowing rui wouldn’t have a reply for her.
this was really bad for him.
———
“rui, why do you sharpen your pencils so precisely?”
rui cocks his head to the side. “i like starting work with a good pencil, that’s all.”
rui has an odd habit.
rui likes sharpening his pencils to a certain degree before starting work. it has, definitely has, to be of that certain sharpness before he’s able to get himself to write anything on a blueprint. tsukasa finds this strange.
however, since tsukasa often finds himself in rui’s room, silently observing his work habits while pretending to be working on his own work, so he supposes he’s a little strange too.
when rui sharpens his pencils, he sharpens it in the slightest, pulls it out to make sure it’s blunt or sharp enough, and if it isn’t to the degree he wants it to be, he places it back in. when he repeats these steps like clockwork, rui will suddenly realise about the mess he’s made, panic and flush a bit, before carefully dusting them off onto a piece of paper and get up frantically to pour them into the trash can near him.
when rui catches him staring, tsukasa likes how his eyes will widen a little, pupils shrunk in the slightest from the shock, not that he’d never admit to watching.
rui’s odd habit is really cute, tsukasa realises. tsukasa watches rui sharpen his pencils down almost every other day now, from how often they hung out after school.
now and again, rui will catch tsukasa staring, blush, and then turn his eyes away immediately to his work. at times like these, tsukasa’s smile will widen ever so, because he knows rui’s mind is somewhere else when his paper remains blank for the next few minutes.
now and again, tsukasa will catch rui staring. he will flinch a little when their eyes meet, smiling awkwardly, before staring back at his work, playing it off as a little glance to see how he was doing.
inevitably, rui’s eyes will drift back to rui to see tsukasa still observing him, and a soft hue of red will bloom on his face.
today, rui’s sharpening his pencils differently. he doesn’t stop to check whether he’s sharpened too much or too less, staring off into space with a glazed look in his eyes. he looked.. preoccupied with something, something he couldn’t quite understand.
before tsukasa could intervene, his pencils have been sharpened way past what he usually preferred.
“..your pencil is unusually sharp today,” tsukasa says, looking up, a concerned frown forming. “have you been stressed?”
rui blinks slowly, and then smiles. “ah, as expected of a brilliant star, nothing your eyes can’t miss. but, i can assure you that i’m not stressed.”
tsukasa’s frowns deepens, still. rui laughs a little, and tsukasa finds his heart lifting in his chest ever so slightly. “i’m alright, don’t worry,” rui reassures again.
at that, tsukasa sighs, particularly loudly to himself. he supposes it was just the occurrence of being too deep in thought, since rui was someone who was brimming with ideas. he gives rui a half-hearted shrug before returning to his homework.
however, that was odd. what was he so preoccupied with?
———
rui sleepily opened his eyes.
glancing to his right, tsukasa was standing on the grass just like him, with his arms folded.
yes, tsukasa was handsome. rui knew that. even as he chided away at him for his reckless behaviour, tsukasa was especially good-looking. even if he was angry, and slightly yelling at him. tsukasa was just one of a kind!
“rui! are you even listening?”
right, he’d blown up a small patch of grass beside them with a batch of test fertiliser.
their eyes met again, for a second too long this time. everything was so peaceful for once, when it was usually chaotic and frenzied, and rui, someone with words upon words to say, just found himself at a loss for any smug rebuttal.
hearing rui’s lack of a response, he huffs something rui couldn’t quite catch, and sits down on the grass. rui follows suit without another word.
the sun was shining down on them, warming his skin, but not his insides. his insides felt warm enough anyway. the grass was just slightly damp, tickling his neck, his hands, his ankles.
strangely enough, neither of them minded. they sat awkwardly on damp grass, in the middle of a field at school, barely any people walking around, but not that they minded either. rui was pleased to see tsukasa actually looking at ease for once, not bothering to play an act or to keep his showman persona up.
tsukasa’s eyes flicked up to meet his. “rui, why do you only ever save your experiments just for me?”
rui hums uneasily, heart rate already picking up its pace. however, he knew tsukasa well enough at this point to be very aware that it could not be just linked to curiosity. still, the question seemed too innocent to be anything sinister, so rui indulges him.
“you’re.. interesting, captivating. i look forward to your reactions.”
it’s silence for a few brief seconds that felt like hours. tsukasa’s head is turned away.
“o-obviously! a star has to be interesting at all times!”
of course, a typical answer from the star beside him. he turns to get a proper look at tsukasa. his face looked very complicated, something that didn't happen often. usually, it was easy to read his expressions, from his huge smiles to his sadder, more clenched up muscles on his face. but now, he just looked.. unreadable, with his face scrunched up in the slightest.
“rui?”
rui hums lazily in acknowledgement.
“i like you.”
what?
that’s a thought without a voice, rui panics as he stares into the grass waving ever so quietly underneath his knees. he.. liked him?
..stop that thought. it was normal for friends to tell each other that, right? he’d seen emu yell that multiple times at nene while thanking her, or how it was just a normal way to show appreciation to your friend, so that’s what tsukasa meant, definitely! he shouldn’t take this the wrong way, and mess this moment up.
but a part of him still hoped, a ball of flame. his heart was twisting and squeezing, skin hot and alive, painfully alive, and when he looks back up to tsukasa’s face, he doesn’t know how he isn’t on fire yet.
“..well, i like you too, tsukasa-kun.” it comes out breathless, and hopeful, and just plain stupid, rui thinks, like he was about to make a simple proclaim of friendship weird. he feels exposed and afraid, fingers gripping harder into his knees as tsukasa doesn’t say a word. tsukasa crosses his legs with that same scrunched up expression.
“ugh.. i don’t mean it in that way!”
rui blinks, trying to contain himself. the silly flame roars to life once more, hoping, burning that whatever tsukasa meant, he meant it in the way that he hoped he was.
“i don’t mean it as a friend! i mean it to tell you that i’m pursuing you!” tsukasa’s eyes shine with all that life rui admires. “..i love you, rui.”
he didn't know who leaned in first, tsukasa, or him, or maybe both, but it didn't matter anyway. what did matter was in the way their lips touched so gently, instantly electrifying his body like nothing else before. rui, in all his self doubt, still stupidly waits for tsukasa to pull away, tell him it was a joke, because why wouldn’t he?
at first, it was barely more than a hesitant peck from him, something that they both could've brushed over and blamed on silly instincts. tsukasa could've joked around and made them both forget. tsukasa could've pulled away brutally and disappear for a few hours to cool down. he could've stopped this from happening.
except, tsukasa never pulled away.
tsukasa parts, for just a second, and kisses him again, very purposefully this time, and rui found he didn't want to pull away either. he too, wanted this to happen. he wanted to kiss tsukasa.
tsukasa, who had very soft lips and even softer hands.
rui’s eyes fluttered close when he felt the kiss deepen, very painfully unsure of what to do. he awkwardly raises a tentative hand, fingers grazing the other’s cheek. but what could he do, when even touching the boy before him that way felt forbidden? he’d never been the type to get too close to a painting in a museum to admire it, yet he was holding this star so close to him so suddenly.
he'd never done it before. and it showed, how he cupped tsukasa’s cheek with a trembling hand, pulling him in a little to encourage another kiss. each one ended way too fast, almost as quickly as it happened, and rui never had the time to register how good it felt or how well their lips fit together. he knew all of this would end soon, too soon for his own liking, and he hoped he'd have enough time to remember it all before it was over.
tsukasa made a breathless noise against his lips, and allowed rui to make their lips collide once more. but only to have his hair tickled rui’s nose as he made his move, and he let out a small laugh against his lips. and he actually smiled. tsukasa smiled while kissing him. tsukasa smiled while sharing such close intimacy with him, not a smile of strained disgust or masked pity.
suddenly, he makes the soft epiphany that tsukasa really loved him too.
oh, turning back now would be unsalvageable.
it made rui feel a certain type of way he'd never experienced before. calling it blissfulness would be too sappy and too hopeful for his own liking, but it was definitely the closest word to it.
one of tsukasa’s hands made its way to his hair, somehow resting calmly on his neck. it burned, it burned especially hot when tsukasa would hum happily while running his fingers through his hair, but he didn't question it. he never questioned anything tsukasa did. honestly, because it was too good to be true, and speaking would definitely break whatever spell they were both under.
and rui refused to do that. he wanted it to continue for as long as it possibly could, because if it ended now, then there was no way he'd get to feel that warm and that pleased again. why would tsukasa give him the privilege of kissing him twice?
unfortunately, tsukasa pulls away, softly panting for air, and the moment ends. rui finds himself unable to breathe.
and then they stare. stare at each other with the grass tickling their ankles, and the hot afternoon sun peering at them. but it was the least of their thoughts.
tsukasa stared back into his eyes, looking hopeful and nervous all at once. “rui,” he said quietly, “i do love you.”
..hopeful? was he perhaps, just as terrified as him?
he doesn’t reply, but pulls him into a hug instead, humming contentedly into his hair.
“i love you too,” he replies with newfound confidence.