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an epiphany 02

Summary:

“big brother, what are you wearing?”

of course, he had forgotten to return it after leaving rui’s house.

it was his cardigan. rui’s.
tsukasa drops his bag in horror, a fairly loud clanking noise as it hit the ground. he wore this oversized cardigan all the way home? he’d be caught dead wearing rui’s clothes, yet alone get caught smelling it!

——

as tsukasa makes his own realisation that he’s fallen for his director.

( part two of my character study! these fics have been split into three parts, but all parts can be read separately :D )

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

rui likes soda candy.

once tsukasa learns of this, his grocery store trips have been plagued with the fact.

he’s just grocery shopping, after all! so why did he find himself standing before the candy aisle, thinking about which brand of soda candy rui would like more?

however, he swallows his pride, and places the bag of soda candies in his shopping cart.

 

“thank you, tsukasa-kun!”

 

accepting the plastic bag graciously, rui seemed to sparkle.

tsukasa doesn’t know what to do except freeze up, soaking in the sight of the boy before him. his yellow eyes glimmer and crinkle slightly, his lips curl into a heart squeezing grin, his stupidly bright hair moving along with him. his simple cyan stud in his left ear shines, and he wears a white jacket with simple stripes here and there. somehow, tsukasa finds that rui makes it look like the epitome of fashion. for lack of a better word, he looks perfect.

 

“oh my, could it be that tsukasa-kun had specifically gone out to get me these?”

 

“..i got them for you while grocery shopping, nothing more!”

 

and he still thinks he’s just as perfect as rui hums and tears into the bag of soda candies, savouring them while offering tsukasa some. still in a daze, tsukasa takes one anyway.

the small specks of sugar all over his lips, the unruliness of his hair, the way he’s a little nearsighted from staying up too late and squints a bit when looking at things far away, his odd habits and obsessions; these little bits about him simply make tsukasa’s smile widen. rui’s smiles, and laughs, and these emotions he feels, they set off something, something bright within him, all for this special director. the feeling is fuzzy, bordering too warm, and it consumes every thought in his mind.

to tsukasa, rui is the most beautiful thing in the universe, infinite as it may be.

 

“boohoo..” rui fake-sobs softly, “tsukasa-kun doesn’t think about me..”

 

tsukasa’s expression morphs into horror. “of course i do..!” his response turns quiet as the realisation sets in. he didn’t mean to reveal that! an
odd sensation prickled in his chest at his silenced confession.

rui is silent at that, his eyes tracing over tsukasa’s face for a moment, before he turns away immediately to face another direction.

thoroughly horrified, tsukasa buries his head into his hands, trying to hide the traitorous bright red on his face, though it’s still blatantly obvious. it was not a lie if he said he had been thinking about rui his entire grocery trip, not that he’d ever say that out loud.

“..i see,” rui finally manages to croak out. rui looks at him for a moment too long, before turning away and looking up at the ceiling, his eyes staring at something much farther away. but tsukasa’s still able to see the soft smile on his face, and it sends his heart pounding once more.

he thinks he’ll buy more of those soda candies in the future.

———

 

it’s cold.
he makes this known to rui.

 

“rui! turn your air-conditioner down, it’s too cold for me!”

 

“really?” rui asks with a stupidly smug grin on his face. tsukasa’s face falls— he was clearly trying very hard to hide just how cold he was, with the telltale clenched jaw, and the way he was holding on to himself in order to stop trembling.

 

tsukasa momentarily stops shivering to glare at him, eyebrows furrowed in explicit anger. “what gave it away?”

 

the perpetrator hums nonchalantly. “here,” he continues, taking off his cardigan. with a huff of disapproval, it makes its way onto tsukasa’s shoulders.

——

rui smells like vanilla.

truth to be told, he was nothing like tsukasa thought he would smell like. maybe it would be possibly oil, or like whatever burnt things smelt like after rui blows up something, depending on what he blew up, or maybe even lavender.

but definitely not this sweet, intoxicating scent of vanilla.

tsukasa doesn’t even understand why he smells like this, and so faintly yet strongly of it; perhaps it was his shampoo? or his body wash?

 

“big brother, what are you wearing?”

 

of course, he had forgotten to return it after leaving rui’s house.

it was his cardigan. rui’s.
tsukasa drops his bag in horror, a fairly loud clanking noise as it hit the ground. he wore this oversized cardigan all the way home? he’d be caught dead wearing rui’s clothes, yet alone get caught smelling it!

 

the interrogator even giggles at his terrible predicament. “geez, it’s practically swallowing you!”

 

..swallowing him! the world future star tenma tsukasa doesn’t get swallowed by articles of clothing! but it’s an oddly comforting feeling, and it feels like receiving a huge hug from.. from the owner of this cardigan. and it feels warm, far warmer than it should.

oh, but it’s just a grey cardigan.

this is horribly weird. obviously. tsukasa knows that. he shouldn’t be this fixated on wearing home an article of clothing that wasn’t his.

but there's just something inviting about the sweater. it reminds him of the hugs that rui will indulge in only rarely, always just a fleeting touch before he shies away to scratch the back of his neck in embarassment.

 

“s-saki! hello! i just forgot to return it, i’ll give it back to him tomorrow!” yeah, he handled that perfectly well, full confidence!

 

“uh huh, and i watched you smell it.”

 

the silence again grows tense, but then slowly, agonisingly, saki staring at tsukasa with a huge sigh. “do you have something to tell me?”

 

“..no! it’s not like that—!”

 

instantly, saki sighs loudly, shaking her head, then waves her hand dismissively at tsukasa. “that’s kamishiro-san’s, isn’t it?”

exposed, humiliated, and caught red-handed, tsukasa could only stare. but beneath that worn exterior, saki was smiling, chuckling ever so softly under her breath.

 

“whatever you say, since he’s just a friend to you!” she trots away before he’s able to ask more questions.

 

tsukasa nods slowly for no one in particular to see. correct, they are just friends!

..he doesn't wash the cardigan.

 

———

 

rui’s part of the greening community, tsukasa learns.

now, he doesn’t only smell of soft vanilla, but the faint scents of soil and flowers blend right in. sometimes, it’s the delicate scent of gardenias; sometimes, it’s the stronger scent of lavender and jasmine. but most of the time, though, tsukasa finds rui tending to marigolds, as odourless as they were.

rui will have tiny scratches on his hands, not even bandaged, all from tending to them. it makes tsukasa’s heart squeeze.

however, rui’s hands were a whole other topic. he owned nice hands. they were smooth, fingertips a little calloused from his carelessness of tinkering, yet felt like the softest thing he’d ever have the chance of holding. they were something tsukasa liked to admire.

but only in a ‘friends’ way, of course!

“why don’t you cut the thorns?” tsukasa asks on a particular day, running his thumbs over the scratches soothingly, a barely discernable concerned furrow between his eyebrows.

rui glances down at his hands in tsukasa’s. “flowers that have thorns are meant to have thorns, it’s just how they grow. they’re beautiful, and i’m only nurturing them,” he replies nonchalantly.

 

“you still should be more careful! your hands are just as beautiful too.”

 

oh no, he’s said too much. this was so not a just-friends thing to say.

rui seems to be just as stunned as him, but for a different reason entirely. “..i see,” he mumbles before adding on, “thank you.”

tsukasa would soon be pleased to find out that rui had started bandaging those cuts to protect his fingers. rui had nice hands.

 

———

 

“i won’t let you win, my star.”

 

..’my star?’ ..his star?

tsukasa pauses, registering the close proximity between them. his heart beats away once again, suddenly hyper aware of just how little distance remains between them. rui stands before him, in the spotlight, their spotlight, calling him such a tender nickname he isn’t even sure he’s heard him right.

 

“rui! your face is super duper red!”

 

rui turns into an even bright shade of red. “it is? i suppose the weather is getting to me.”

 

“eh? but it’s raining outside?” emu mumbles helpfully, earning a snicker from nene.

from here, tsukasa zones out. he swallows, something that tasted bitter. that was.. underwhelming. maybe he did mishear that. but it’s not just underwhelming. it’s a swirling rush of disappointment that twists unhappily at his stomach.

he brushes it off. so what he misheard rui?
in saki’s words, they’re only friends, anyway.

but rui is waiting for him to say his next line, and the moment passes by quickly.

 

“..o-of course! let our duel begin.”

 

he definitely had not intended for his voice to come out wobbly, and two octaves higher from his usual speaking voice.

“are you alright?” rui quips calmly, breaking character to step a little closer to him. if tsukasa weren’t so frazzled, he’d notice how much the calmness of rui’s voice contrasted his shaking hands that held his script.

up close, he can see so many details he’s never observed before : the way rui’s pupils seem a little different when they lock eyes, or the way his lashes sweep up into a slight curl. everything about rui is so mystifying.

“uh, yes i am!” tsukasa’s answer is short and clipped as he is overcome with a need to distance himself. it’s too much : the proximity, the touching concern in rui’s eyes. he feels so confused, emotions twisting into an unpleasant in his gut. after all, ‘my star’ is right a normal nickname, right? just a normal exchange between friends.

but, something about the word ‘my’ before the pet name made his heart flutter.

 

———

 

tsukasa’s form of loving felt warm, loud.

tsukasa stirs from his slumber, to see a familiar mop of messy hair in the darkness, stray strands of purple hair sticking out in all directions. he glances at the clock. it is midnight, the small stars and the moon high up in the darkness, casting light over the black that engulfed tsukasa’s bedroom.

he stretches absentmindedly, taking in the view of rui, snoozing away in his own bed.

..what a sight to behold.

his hair sprawled across his bedsheets, rui looked so peaceful asleep. tsukasa’s breath hitches, processing the moonlight that hit his features in all the right places, from the slightest parting of his lips to his eyelashes that flittered a little whenever he breathed. rui’s breathing was slow and drawn out, against the ragged breathing of tsukasa’s own, and brought upon him a comforting sense of peace.

 

“..kasa-kun,” a voice quietly drawls.

 

tsukasa—? him? in his sleep?

staring at the moonlight that casted him in such an angelic light, rui has a lot of similarities to the moon, tsukasa realises.

he stares, stares at the boy underneath the soft light of the moon. it’s even rather endearing, intimate in the way that the moon and the stars were tsukasa’s only witness that he admired the boy in his bed tonight.

there is only the soft breathing of rui in the background, and the intense thudding of tsukasa’s heart in his ears. tsukasa watches the moon above them, reflected in his eyes, admiring its beauty too. he’s never watched rui this closely before, especially unconscious and at peace.

the moon shines too, and it’s beautiful. just as the moon irrevocably follows the sun’s brilliance, so too does the sun watch the moon shine in the darkness, with the power of its own light, so the both of them shine together in all its glory.

 

rui’s like the moon, tsukasa learns.
and undoubtedly, tsukasa loves the moon.

 

slowly, tsukasa shifts his gaze from the moon in the sky to the moon right beside him, in his bed. the realisation sets in, an epiphany, that of course he had to fall in love with rui. he couldn’t stop himself even if he tried. he was deeply, utterly mesmerised by this boy.

he was in love with kamishiro rui.

Notes:

woaah !!!! rui in the greening community ?? its actually canon btw i just wanted to fit it in one of my fics somewhere.. so here it is !!!! idk but i feel like rui would be horrible with plants

anyway yes . more painful pining but not to worry they will kiss next part because whats a cliyxu fic if they dont kiss cmon
thankyou for readinf as usual and stay hydrated love you !!!!

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