Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Wilbur was the biggest arsehole Quackity knew. When they were first introduced to each other, Quackity legitimately thought he was a child compared to the young prince (at least metaphorically), with his pouty attitude and constant need for attention. When his royal advisor (and little brother figure) Charlie told him he was actually a few months older than him, it made Quackity despise him even more.

That was maybe 10 or so years ago, back when Quackity was no more than an expendable son to the Las Nevadas Empire. He had (somewhat) matured quite a bit since then, although his encounters with Wilbur were… Less than princely, to say the least. “Prince Quackity from the Las Nevadas Empire?”  

Charlie. Brown hair with neon green spots, a small popsicle sticking out of one of the green spots. He’s known Charlie since he was old enough to read, he was a considerable amount taller than Quackity, but to be fair, everybody was.

“Yes?” He asked in the courtly tone he often used, once he opened the door for the advisor. “Your father requested you in the throne room in a half hour!” Charlie chirped, Quackity then rolled his eyes. His father was… Cruel, to say the least. He didn’t want to deep dive into the topic, he never did. “I understand. Thanks.” Quackity sighed. 

Charlie took an apple out of his right hand, shining the end with the sleeve to his tunic. “I’m guessing you haven’t had breakfast?’ Charlie tilted his head. One of Quackity’s guilty pleasures was not eating, usually avoiding it to avoid any casualties and awkward small talk with any of the castle's staff. “Yup.” Charlie sighed, before putting it on Quackity’s vanity, for him to eat later.

“Good luck Quackity from Las Nevadas…” Charlie turned his back on him as if he was going to walk away. “What do you mean by that ?” Quackity stammered. 

He hated how vague Charlie could be. “I overheard something about… Marriage .” He froze, as Charlie walked away hesitantly, a soft but dejected look. He could hear Charlie’s leather boots click, before he began to converse with a maid. 

Quackity slammed the door shut, sitting quietly on his bed. “He’s kidding… Right?” Quackity asked, more to himself than anyone else.. Quackity rubbed his eyes, still barely awake as he picked the apple up, biting into it. It was tart and juicy, clearly, he couldn’t bother to get him a breed of apple he liked.

He eventually mustered the energy to stand up, throwing the apple core in the trash. He opened the wooden doors to his closet. It was a walk-in, decently sized, Charlie once claimed the closet itself was as big as his family’s whole house. Obviously, he rolled his eyes, but he indirectly gave him a sack of coins out of pity.

Quackity knew that he grew up a commoner, so he couldn’t help but feel bad. He was a good person (although he was extraordinarily naive, which would probably be his downfall at some point), so Quackity couldn’t think what it’d be like being in the streets.

Soon enough, he was changed into his prince outfit, White suit, and black undershirt, pure shiny gold for highlights and tie. Being a prince, he was expected to dress his absolute best in public, with the exception being his room. Which is why he lived most of his life there.

Quackity looked at himself one more time in the mirror, before exiting his room. He lived on the top floor of the castle, so they wouldn’t risk him sneaking out (like he would try to anyway). The top was likely the smallest floor out of all of them, since the last floor was squeezed in just barely. 

He stumbled down the stairs, lucky none of the maids noticed. When he eventually reached the throne room, he could hear impatience in his father’s breathing pattern. Quackity stood up straight, looking up at him while he tapped his index finger on the throne armrest. “Relax, son. You aren’t in any trouble.” His father assured him in a calm voice, although it just made Quackity even more nervous than relaxed.

“You are familiar with the L’manberg Empire, correct?” He asked. Quackity hesitantly nodded, even though he knew it at heart at this point. The L’manberg Empire was where Wilbur lived. Quackity already didn’t like where this was going. 

“Good. Yesterday night, I and their king decided to align our kingdoms.” Quackity didn’t mind that. Aligning empires just meant more protection for Quackity, and an even less chance of dying before 18. 

“We’ve both decided it’d be best to confirm the alliance with a wedding with you and their firstborn.” He froze, his breath hitching. Wilbur was the oldest child. “A-Are you saying that-”  

“Yes.” His father swiftly cut him off, and Quackity could feel the blood pumping through his ears. “In two moons, you’ll get married to Prince Wilbur, to secure the alliance, and you’ll rule both kingdoms together.” And that is how Quackity’s life ended, physically and metaphorically. 

Quackity felt his whole life collapse on him. He was getting married to… Him ? From his father's perspective, it makes sense, since both kingdoms only had offspring, both the same age, so he had to get them married, despite their children’s gender (although it didn’t matter that much in the first place). “You are dismissed.” His father faltered, shooing his son away.

He was going to throw up. Quackity’s stomach churned and leaped as he stumbled away from the throne room, grabbing a pear from the kitchen to snack on instead so he didn’t throw up on his way to his room. On Quackity’s way, he found Charlie. “What was it about, Quackity from Las Nevadas?” Charlie asked curiously like he usually was.

 Quackity shook his head. “I… Really don’t wanna talk about it.” Quackity mumbled, before slamming his door shut to his room.

“Oh Quackity, it can’t be that bad!” Charlie insisted through the door. Well, Charlie was wrong. It could and is that bad. Quackity rolled his eyes and set the half-eaten pear on his desk. 

“Just let me in and- Hey!” Charlie was cut off, silence slashing through the air, Quackity looked at the door. Charlie probably got snatched, unsurprisingly to do royal duties. At least nobody was berating him anymore. 

Quackity took in a deep breath as his hands finally stopped shaking to run a hand through his hair. How is gonna handle his whole life with Wilbur out of all of the people? As far as he knew, every descendant to him got to choose who they married, which is why Quackity had a bit of peasant blood in his system (not like he minded it of course).

“Uhm, Prince Quackity..?” It was Charlie again. He sounded slightly startled, perhaps he got lectured. 

Quackity opened the door all the way with an outstanding posture and looked at his advisor. “Yes?” He asked. “For dinner tonight, your father requests you in the dining hall for a formal dinner with your… Fiance .” He seemed confused, and Quackity sighed. Not like he could blame the brunette.

“Of course,” Quackity replied. “I’ll explain once he leaves.” He whispered under his breath, making Charlie sigh in relief.

He bowed and Quackity nodded, closing the door again. Now he’s having dinner with him!?

 Quackity had the sudden (and reasonable) urge to pull out all of his hair, but didn’t… Not for now at least. Instead, he looked at his book, the blue bookmark sticking out between the perfect pages. The last time he read it, he wasn’t getting married to Wilbur in a day. 

He opened up the pages and began to read. 

After a while, two soft knocks were placed on the doors. Charlie and Quackity decided a knocking system (since he was his royal advisor, of course he stayed outside of his door) would be best, two soft knocks meant someone important left, while two hard knocks meant someone really important (his father is an example) was arriving. 

Quackity opened up his door. “Get in.” He whispered, letting the door open for a split second for Charlie to tread through, before closing it again. “Hold on there Quackity, you have some explaining to do.” Quackity winced, knowing that Charlie was probably pissed from the lack of information.

“Trust me, I just found out about this. Hit me.” Quackity told him, not in a literal sense.

 “Fiance? I didn’t know you were getting married?!” His advisor croaked.

“I didn’t know until my father called me to the throne room. We and the L’manberg kingdom are aligning, and he says they’re certifying it with a marriage between me and their first born.” Charlie paused at that, just like Quackity had.

“But… But isn’t Wilbur in the L’manberg Kingdom… And isn’t he the oldest? And– Don’t you hate him?” He didn’t respond, letting it settle in Charlie’s brain. 

After a minute of tricky silence, Quackity finally said, “Tomorrow night, I’ll be marrying Wilbur Soot Minecraft, Crown Prince of the L’manberg Kingdom.” He shifted, awkwardly moving in Charlie’s sight. He looked down, not wanting to see Charlie.

Why did he feel ashamed?

Brown doe eyes met him, and he continued. “I know, I hate it too.” Quackity shrugged. 

Charlie smiled, and Quackity felt himself melt slightly at his smile. “Okay, next question. Do you have a best man?” Charlie asked as Quackity sat on his bed. 

Of course, he’d be thinking about the wedding already, Quackity chuckled to himself.“Nope.” he paused. “But I do have a best slime!” Quackity smiled.

“Wait, really?!” Charlie gasped, and Quackity grinned. “Obviously, why wouldn’t my favorite royal advisor be my best slime?” He asked. “Favorite and only, ” Charlie responded, before hugging Quackity. “Thank you, Quackity from Las–”

“Just– Call me Quackity, please.” He sighed admiringly. “Also, can we just… Ignore the whole wedding thing? While we can, at least?” Quackity asked. Charlie nodded. “Alrighty, but I wish you luck on the dinner thing.” He replied. “Hell no, if I’m going, you are too. I’ll make sure of it!” Quackity assured. “I don’t mind!” Charlie chirped. 

“Let’s go make sure you can go, then.” He stood up and exited his room, letting Charlie trail behind him. “Why would you like me to go to dinner with you, though?” Charlie wondered with a chirp as they trod down the spiral staircase.

“I mean, if I’m getting married to someone I barely know,” He began (he knew Wilbur well. Maybe better than Charlie–), “Then I need somebody, otherwise known as you, to balance it out.” He reasoned, and Charlie nodded in agreement as they got to the throne room, once more.

Charlie stopped in his tracks, to wait for Quackity by the entrance. Although he was his royal advisor, he didn’t have enough power to talk to the king directly, unlike Quackity. He stepped into the throne room, bowing to his father's throne. “Father, I have a request for the dinner tonight.” He declared, gathering the attention of The King.

“Tell me so.” Was all he replied with, letting Quackity know that he was paying attention. “I wish for my royal advisor to eat with me, perhaps in disguise. I’d like him there for the chance of any government decisions are being made at the dinner, I’d like to have him nearby to get guidance on the matter at–”

“Enough!” His father interrupted and stood up. “Do whatever you wish to keep yourself satisfied before the wedding, for I have a meeting.” Quackity smiled at his father as he took his golden stick and waltzed out of the room. Quackity ran to Charlie, who seemed delighted.

“Quackity fr–” Charlie paused, remembering the prince’s request. “he said yes!” He continued, and Quackity nodded. 

“I’ll get you some gold coins, then I’ll send you off with one of the guards so you can find something to wear to the dinner. Understand?” He asked, as a maid suspiciously walked past the dup. “Understood, Quackity!”

“Okay then. If you excuse me, I’m gonna nap until the dinner.” Quackity said as he started to walk back up to his room. 

♠♦♣♥

“Prince Quackity, your presence is requested at the dining hall.” A maid knocked on Quackity’s door, waking him up. “Uhm- Yeah! Just a second!” He shot up, jumping off of his bed. Once he heard the footsteps walk away, he went to his closet and put on a random black suit he had on. 

He tied his tie before deciding he looked good enough (for Wilbur at least, it’s not like he deserved his time) and walked out, going to the dining hall, alone. Once he entered the dining hall, he was pulled to the side. “Quackity! I was worried you weren’t going to get here in time!” It was Charlie, who sighed in relief upon seeing the prince.

Charlie looked… Different, to say the least. His hair was combed out and to the side, and he was wearing glasses. They were square, black rims too.   Did he need glasses? Instead of his tunic, it was replaced with a white button up with desaturated green suspenders, straps wrapped on his shoulder. 

“You look nice,” He pointed out. “Aw, thank you Quackity!” He almost sat down, but Charlie dragged him back up by the arm. “You have to go meet Wilbur Soot from Las Nevadas!” He pointed out. He put two nameplates down at their spots, putting himself across from Quackity, before he looked at the table.

It was more decorated than usual, plates and silver utensils at every seat, tons of unnecessary decorations like fruit scattered about.

Charlie led him to the gates. It was clear the other kingdom had arrived, a bright light (possibly fire, since it was later at night at this point) shone through the gates. Quackity followed behind as Charlie finally spotted the king of L'manberg. 

Then he saw Wilbur, his fiance . He didn’t look very happy either, side-eyeing the fire like he would jump in it first chance he got. A boy much younger, at least by a couple of years, followed behind cautiously. By his attire, Quackity assumed that he had brought a personal knight.

 “I suppose Wilbur had the same idea.” Quackity mumbled, glancing at Charlie. Charlie nodded along as the group finally got off of their horses, getting ready to be greeted at the gates.

Holy shit. Quackity thought. It’s happening. He panicked, looking at Wilbur. 

“Just fuck me already.” Quackity grumbled under his breath and the two kings greeted each other. Wilbur approached him with a smirk.

“Hello, my dear fiance,” Wilbur mused before bowing, and Quackity felt his muscles tense upon seeing that stupid smirk he seemed to wear 24/7. When Wilbur got up, he took Quackity’s hand and kissed the knuckles.

“What the fuck?” Quackity shivered, wiping his hand on his suit.

“Rude.” Wilbur commented.

He noticed Charlie, giving him a glare. “Who’s he, ” Wilbur asked. “What, jealous?” Quackity replied. Wilbur rolled his eyes. “Just making sure he’s not an assassin.” He shrugged, the lie not hidden whatsoever. “My name is Charlie from Las Nevadas! It’s nice to meet you!” Charlie chirped, bowing to Wilbur with a smile. “My royal advisor,” Quackity followed.

Quackity gazed at the younger boy hidden behind Wilbur, big blue eyes catching his eye. “And the one behind you?” Quackity pointed out the boy, who stepped out from behind Wilbur. “Tommy Innit, big man!” He burst with sudden confidence, forcing a handshake with Charlie with his left hand, and Quackity with his right. 

He was wearing a basic suit, much like Quackity’s, with a red tie and black vest, a blue hue to it. 

“So, how does it feel to be engaged to someone as handsome as me?” Wilbur asked flirtatiously. “I think I’d rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty metal fork than marry you by my will.” Quackity replied. Wilbur chuckled like it was a joke.

“Let’s go sit, sweetheart.” Wilbur smiled, forcibly locking arms with Quackity. “Charlie got us- me a seat near the end.” Quackity corrected himself, sitting down. Wilbur sat down next to him. Quackity could already feel a migraine catching on as Charlie and Tommy sat next to each other like Wilbur and Quackity were, happily chatting.

“Why you out of everyone?” Quackity mumbled as maids filled glasses of water and wine to the table. Quackity stared until the wine almost spilled out of the glass.

“You know I didn’t have much of a choice either, right? Plus, it’s not like you’d wanna marry Techno. ” He shivered at the thought. Although Technoblade had disappeared into the forest about three years ago, before then, he was a mighty warrior, with no social skills whatsoever.

Thinking about it, Quackity would probably rather deal with Wilbur’s flirting than Technoblade’s social awkwardness.

Quackity eventually replied with, “Well, it’s more bearable for you since you like to be a stupid tease and flirt with whoever crosses your path.” 

Wilbur rolled his eyes. “I might enjoy the stupid teasing, but that’s cuz’ teasing is teasing! Even if it might be that your fiance was the person you’re teasing.” The brunette shrugged, voice lowering on the fiance bit. “By the way,” He added. “Later, I’m gonna have to propose to you in front of everybody. So nobody assumes that we’re marrying for the sake of the alliance.” He explained.

Quackity chugged his whole glass of wine.

Great, he was going to get proposed to by Wilbur in front of everybody. 

And he might enjoy it.

♠♦♣♥

Before he knew it, they were being served the main course. Quackity was grateful for that, at least. Usually, what would happen is that they’d pass out an appetizer that everybody could eat in one bite, then they’d take another two hours to talk ‘business’, then came actual dinner.

They just skipped straight to the main course, this time. But to Quackity, it just meant less time to spend with his fiance. The maids and butlers passed out their meals, a steak with salad garnish on the side. “I for one, am starving, ” Wilbur pointed out, not bothering to take out a handkerchief or anything, before digging in. 

Quackity almost snorting, before leaning into Wilbur’s side. “ I bet you can’t wait to eat that meat, ” He snickered, and Wilbur almost spat out his steak. Both quickly suppressed their laughs before glances from judging adults came their way, Quackity leaning back over to his own side. 

Quackity ate rather quickly, enjoying the steak. Once he was finished, the only thing he could do was fidgeting with his thumbs as he waited for his father to finish the business conversations. “ Q, ” Wilbur jabbed his elbow into Quackity’s side, getting a death stare from Quackity.

“ It’s almost time. ” Wilbur mumbled before finishing his steak. “ For the proposal? ” Quackity whispered in response. Wilbur nonchalantly nodded. “Yeah. Try to act surprised and like- grateful when I do I guess.” Quackity rolled his eyes, but hummed in agreement. 

“So, Prince Quackity. ” Wilbur said, louder for the whole table to hear. The conversation stopped, including the one from Charlie and Tommy. “You know how much I love you, since we’re boyfriends and all.” Wilbur emphasized the point, (much more than it was necessary). Quackity tried smiling at Wilbur, doing his best to not sock him in the face.

In his kissable face.

Wilbur was quite clearly enjoying this.

“Yeah… What about it?” Quackity acted, feeling himself heat up underneath everybody’s eyes, including Wilbur’s. “I don’t know how to confess my undying love for you, other than this.” Wilbur got out of his seat, and got onto his knees. Quackity made his eyes slightly water, covering his mouth with his palm.

“What– Wilbur, what are you doing?” Quackity stumbled over his words as Wilbur pulled out a small felt box. The whole table gasped as Wilbur opened the ring. 

“Quackity… I know this might not be the best time, but I can’t wait for your love anymore.” He paused. 

“Will you marry me?” 

Quackity let a fake tear fall as he stood up from his chair. “ Yes . Yes I will!” Quackity repeated. The table clapped as Wilbur stood up, and they tightly hugged each other. “Good job.” Wilbur whispered into his ear.

That wasn’t supposed to sound that hot.

Then the worst thing happened.

People started to yell out, “Kiss!”, including Tommy and Charlie, who seemed to have started the chant. “What– The everliving fuck do we do?!” Quackity whispered to his fiance. 

“Give the crowd what they want..?” Wilbur mumbled. Quackity could barely process as Wilbur took his hand, and managed to carry his whole weight while he dipped him, connecting their lips in a kiss. 

His lips tasted disgusting . Definitely, definitely not like leftover sweets, and steak. “You’re a horrible kisser.” Wilbur mumbled underneath his breath as he brought him back up. The crowd cheered once again as Quackity rolled his eyes. 

“Well, excuse me if I was caught a bit off guard, ” Quackity muttered back. 

Wilbur took the ring from the box and yanked Quackity’s hand towards him, putting it on the ring ringer. It fit a bit too well (which was a tiny bit creepy), but Quackity didn’t mind. They sat back down, and Wilbur awkwardly chuckled at the crowd. “Sorry if we interrupted dinner.” Wilbur formally apologized, looking at the two kings who sat next to each other. 

“Nonsense, this is amazing news!” Quackity’s father stood up. “If our children are marrying, it must mean our kingdoms must align! Toast to this incredible news!” They all raised the glass, other than Wilbur and Quackity. “Your dad’s good at acting.” Quackity commented, picking at the garnishes with his fork.

“Same with yours.” Wilbur remarked in reply. The kings continued to talk (despite Wilbur and Quackity’s combined eyerolls). 

“Because of the amazing relationships between our two sons, I’ve decided to let the L'manberg King and Prince of course, stay at the palace while we make preparations for the wedding!” The pair paused.

“Nope, I am not letting you anywhere near my room.” Quackity threatened. Wilbur nodded. “Good.”  He muttered. 

♠♦♣♥

“That was adorable! ” Charlie chirped, his eyes closed. “Yeah, sure. Now we’re getting married tomorrow.” Quackity deadpanned. “Wil, do you know where we’re sleeping tonight? Phil said that we were staying here, right?” Tommy asked. 

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure.” Wilbur paused, looking at Charlie. “Hey– Charlie, right?” Charlie enthusiastically nodded, glad that the other prince could remember his name. “Is there an extra sleeping quarters for Theseus to be in?” He asked, and Charlie tilted his head. “ Tommy, Wilbur.” Tommy reminded.

“Oh, Tommy. Right.” Wilbur repeated. Charlie and Quackity exchanged glances, as did Tommy and Wilbur. “Yes, there is! However, there’s just one…” Charlie muttered sadly.

“Me and Tommy can share the spare sleeping quarters, if that’s alright with you.” He glanced at Tommy, who nodded. “Sounds good to me.” The younger nodded enthusiastically. 

“ No way, ” Quackity interrupted. WIlbur glanced at him. “There’s only one room, and one sleeping barrack isn’t big enough for the both of you.” Quackity pointed out.

“So Tommy, you can have the room to yourself, and Wilbur…” He paused, holding his breath.

 “He can stay in my room. Might as well get used to being around each other.” Quackity nodded with his own plan. “Let me lead you to your room, Tommy Theseus Innit from L’manberg!” Charlie chirped, before dragging Tommy away.

“Wow, didn’t you you were so keen on sleeping with– ”

“Shut it, Soot. Let’s just go.” Quackity would rather not talk about why he insisted for Wilbur to sleep with him. “I’d say that you should have the floor, but if we’re gonna be married for the rest of our lives, then we need to get used to sleeping next to each other.” He shrugged, and Wilbur nodded in agreement (for once, thank Prime).

Quackity groaned as he opened the door to his room. “Get in..” Quackity commanded, and Wilbur waltzed in without any hesitance, hands in the air and Quackity followed, slamming the door shut.. “I have a change of clothes, mind if I change in your bathroom?” Wilbur asked, pointing to the white framed door sectioned off. 

“Why not the closet?” Quackity asked.

 “Well, I figured that’s where you were changing. Unless you want to see me almost naked? ” Wilbur quipped. 

“Okay, fine just go!” Quackity blushed red, banishing Wilbur to the bathroom while he shut himself into his closet.

He got out some pajamas, changing into them pretty quickly. Quackity rubbed his eyes and sighed, before taking a deep breath, feeling the silk of the pajama’s against his skin.

Quackity eventually exited the closet, to see Wilbur tucked in on one side. He was apparently as tired as he was too. “Stay on your side.” Quackity commanded. Wilbur hummed in exhaustion, not bothering to come up with a stupid quip. Quackity tucked himself in too, and turned off his lamp. 

“Night.” Wilbur mumbled, probably falling asleep after. Quackity didn’t respond, closing his eyes. 

He eventually got the strength to leave, and saw Wilbur laying back on one side of the bed, holding a leather cover book in one hand, the other a cigarette. “For fucking prime– Wilbur, don’t fucking smoke in here, I don’t want my room to smell like smoke. ” Quackity commanded, and Wilbur rolled his eyes. 

When Quackity settled on Wilbur’s other side, both parties intending to not touch each other in any way, Wilbur got up and chucked the cigarette out of his window. “Happy?” He then asked. “Yes actually. Thank you.” Quackity muttered, too tired to fight back. He closed his eyes and felt Wilbur’s weight settle back on the mattress. 

Wilbur eventually blew out the candle on his side, engulfing the room in darkness. “Good night, Q.” Wilbur mumbled, and Quackity finally succumbed to sleep.

♠♦♣♥

The next time Quackity woke up, it was still dark out. He looked out of the window, to see the full moon in the sky. He probably only slept for about an hour or two. That’s when he noticed it.

Through both of their deep slumbers, Wilbur had managed to wrap his arm around Quackity, pulling him closer, while Quackity was tucked in his chest.

 He hesitantly automatically got up, not bothering to mention anything about it, since Wilbur was most definitely asleep. Quackity stood up despite his wobbly legs, and made his way to the door.

 It seemed like the whole palace was asleep, so he decided to get a quick midnight snack.

He stepped down the spiral staircase, cursing to himself when the wood creaked underneath his feet. The kitchen was lit up by one candle, when Quackity spotted a figure in the light of the candle.

 “Hello?” He asked. The figure turned. It was Tommy. “Hey.” he waved, biting into an apple. “What're you doing awake?” Quackity asked.

“What do you think?” he asked. Quackity paused as Tommy rolled his eyes ( like Wilbur) . 

“I’m getting a midnight snack?” Tommy deadpanned with a snort. Quackity set down his own candle and took a banana from the plate, snapping it off of the bunch.

 “I don’t want to do the wedding,” he stated. “Oh really? Couldn’t tell.” Tommy replied.

Quackity peeled the banana and took a bite, savoring the sweet taste of the yellow fruit.

 “I was told just today.”

 Tommy paused. “Wilbur was told like, a week beforehand.” Tommy commented. “ Lucky .” Quackity thought. 

“Anyway, he was worried as fuck, because y’know he doesn’t want to marry you too, right?” Tommy took another bite of his apple.

“Well that engagement kiss says otherwise.” Quackity rolled his eyes. “By the way, thanks for that.” Tommy giggled a bit.

“You’re welcome, big man!” Tommy said. 

“But anyway, I researched a bit about it and apparently you can divorce him (or vice versa) in like, a year or so, and the empires would still be aligned. So just survive a year with him.” Tommy told him. Quackity took a sigh in relief. 

“Thank Prime.” Quackity mumbled.

 “Why’d you research it anyway?” He asked. “Wilbur asked me too, pretty sure he’s gonna try divorcing you too in a year.” Tommy replied. 

“Rude.” Quackity huffed. “I mean, you're literally planning to do the same.” Tommy deadpanned. 

“Fair.”

They continued to eat together, before Quackity and Tommy threw away their trash. 

“Well, I better get back to bed, before I lose too much sleep. Bye, Big Q!” Tommy waved, going down to the guest sleeping quarters. 

“I should probably go up too.” He thought, beginning his descent back to his own room (which he just remembered that he was snuggling with his new roommate just a few minutes ago).

He opened the door, to see the candle re-lit on Wilbur’s side, and Wilbur awake. 

“Holy shit!” He gasped, startled by Quackity’s entrance.

 “I thought you were asleep.” Quackity commented, sitting on the bed. 

“I was, until I woke up, and I thought you escaped through the window. I was gonna try to catch you!” Wilbur groaned.

“You’re acting like a paranoid wife,” He rolled his eyes. “Paranoid fiance, Q. ” Wilbur mused. “Where were you, anyway?” He then asked. 

“I was getting a midnight snack, asshole.” Quackity mumbled.

 “Uh huh.” Wilbur replied. Quackity covered his body with the blanket, tucking himself in. He felt Wilbur’s breathing in his ear. 

“What the fuck man?!” He whisper yelled. “Just wondering,” Wilbur began. “Did you like the cuddling?” Wilbur whispered.

Quackity rolled his eyes, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’ll take that as a yes. Goodnight honey~” Ignoring his fiance, he tucked himself back in next to Wilbur, ignoring when he pulled him closer. 

♠♦♣♥

The next time Quackity was up, it was from Wilbur shaking him awake. “C’mon husband, we have a wedding to prepare for.” Wilbur muttered. He sounded tired, too. “Jesus, what time is it?” Quackity asked, sitting up to look out the window. The sun was just rising, which was very early. 

“About 6, but our dads need us up to get the suits and shit.” Wilbur answered with a sigh. Quackity got off the now shared bed, and felt his legs wobble underneath his weight. “The weddings’ today, so we won’t see each other until the actual wedding because of “traditions”.” Wilbur airquoted, then standing up next to him.

Just like their first meet, Wilbur took his hand and planted a small kiss on the knuckles. “Dude, what the fuck?” He had the exact same reaction too. “I’ll be seeing you at our wedding, my dear fiance.” Wilbur smirked, walking into the bathroom, leaving Quackity alone with his thoughts. 

Fuck .

The wedding was actually happening today. Then there was a knock on the door, and Quackity rubbed his eyes before opening it. “Oh, you're awake, great!” he smiled. Quackity rubbed his eyes, before recognizing the figure as Charlie. He was now in his normal tunic, but he kept the glasses.

“C-Charlie?” Quackity muttered.

 “Yep, that’s me!” He chirped in reply. 

“Because I am your best slime, I’ll be finding you a suit today! There’s a carriage outside already, we’re just waiting for you!” Quackity let it sink in for a second. He’s getting a suit.

“Alright, lead the way.” he mumbled. Charlie grabbed the sleeve of Quackity’s pajamas and tugged him down the stairs, eventually to the gate outside.

A grand carriage was waiting for him, white horses neighing upon seeing the prince and advisor. “Welcome, Prince Quackity and Royal Advisor Charlie!” The driver welcomed, the door popping open for the two to enter. 

As they entered and seated themselves down, he couldn’t help but fidget, just a bit. The ride was bumpy and rough, Charlie ended up upside down on the other side of the carriage that he sat at, while Quackity held on for dear life on the cushions. 

The driver eventually opened the door, not minding the mess that Quackity and Charlie managed to make. 

“We’re here, your highness!” He bowed as the duo collected themselves, then stepping out of the carriage. Someone wearing a silky red dress and shades, had their hands behind their back, waiting for Quackity. 

“Ah, it’s a pleasure to meet you, your highness!” she bowed (although she was somehow still taller than Quackity while doing so). “You as well, Charlie.” They nodded at Charlie, who gave her a bright smile in response. 

“Are you the suit arranger?” Quackity asked. “Yep, that’s me. Follow me inside, if you will. I’ve got a couple of suits arranged beforehand, if that’s alright.” They explained, beginning to walk inside the building in front of them.

“Sounds fine to me, but what’s your name?” He asked as they held the door open for Quackity and Charlie. “Eret!” She hummed, and when Quackity walked in, there were walls and walls of suits. A couple of suits stood out, the ones on the mannequin. There was also quieter pop music playing in the background.

“Those suits look goopy, Quackity!” Charlie chirped, swirling around the mannequins. “They do look pretty nice.” He added. “Does any suit catch your eye, perhaps?” Eret asked. A suit did catch his eye, in fact. 

It had a dark red button up, with a black vest over it. 

“That one.” He pointed it out. “Ah, I was assuming so. Fan of dark colors, ey?” Eret chuckled, before searching the racks of clothes for the same match of clothes.

Soon, Eret shoved the suit into Quackity’s hands. “The changing rooms are over there, if you’d like to try it on. I’ll find something nice for Charlie.” She explained, before giving him a small felt pouch.

 “This also came with it. I’m not sure whether or not you’d want to try it on.” Quackity quickly took it and left, then locking himself in a changing room. 

♠♦♣♥

The suit felt nice against his skin, comfortable too. Upon seeing his reflection from the mirror across the changing room, he smirked.

“I look hot!” He complimented, before taking out the pouch. He pulled the string, opening it up. Inside was a small golden chain, four small charms lined on it. One charm was a heart, another diamond, another spades, and finally clubs. They were the suits of playing cards.

He quickly opened the hook, putting it around his neck. But he couldn’t manage to put it on. Frustrated, he shoved the necklace in the suit pocket. Quackity then left the changing room, finding Charlie in his own suit, standing next to Eret, who was probably chuckling at a joke.

The suit was like Quackity’s, but with a neon green button up, and a black vest. “Quackity, you look amazing!” Charlie chirped, after noticing him. “So do you.” Quackity replied. “So, how do you like it? Would you like to see some other options?” Eret asked, hands on her hip. 

“It’s alright, I love this one.” Quackity replied, shifting over to Charlie’s side. “Ah, alright, his majesty has already paid for whichever one you and Charlie wanted, about a week ago. I’ll go package this one, just change into your usual clothes, alright?” Eret explained. 

About a week ago.

“How long had he been thinking about the wedding..?” Quackity asked himself. Ignoring his thoughts, he quickly went back to the changing room.

♠♦♣♥

By the time they got back in the carriage, it was around noon, sun high in the sky. The day was beautiful, a cloud floating by, never blocking the sun. Even from in the carriage, Quackity could hear the yells of vendors, and laughter of children.

“Quackity, this was so fun!” His advisor cheered, and Quackity smiled. “It was.” He simply replied. Silence filled the carriage, the comfortable kind. He slouched into his seat, shoving the box with his and Charlie’s suit off to the side, before, sighing.

“I’m really glad you let me be your best man, Quackity.” Charlie mumbled, only loud enough for Quackity to barely hear. “I mean, you’ve been with me my entire life. You’re probably the reason I’m the way I am.” He responded.

“Quackity..?” Charlie uttered, after seconds of more silence. “Yeah?” Quackity replied. “Are… are you my friend?” He croaked, shifting in the leather seats. 

“Charlie, you idiot,” Quackity laughed. “ Of course you are. You’ll always be my friend, no matter what. Alright?” He confessed, and Charlie’s expression changed, his lips pressed into a thin line.

“Quackity, I need to tell you something–” Before Charlie could finish, the carriage abruptly stopped, almost launching both of them out of their seats. “We’re at the venue!” The driver hummed from outside, before opening the door. Charlie scrambled out, while Quackity attempted to catch up, grabbing the box with their suits in the process. 

It was a large church hall, with two rooms on each side separated, one for the groom, the other for the bride (or the other groom, in this case). “Charlie, what were you talking about earlier?” He asked as Charlie backed away. “Erm, we can talk about it later!” He mouthed to Quackity, “ Too many people, ” he understanded, quickly nodding, and Charlie stood up straight. 

“I suppose we should get ready for the wedding preparations, right?” Charlie asked, in which Quackity just nodded.

♠♦♣♥

By mid-afternoon, a hairdresser named Puffy was styling his hair, but it was quite clear that she was stalling for them to prepare the aisle and such. “And then Niki tells me that she broke the fuckin’ promise ring! Can you believe it?!” She ranted, and Quackity winced.

“But isn’t she the one who–” “Exactly!” Puffy interrupted, understanding what he was trying to stay. “Just give her another promise ring and take her on another ‘date’, like before!” Quackity insisted. “Shes’ been too busy that, with her bakery and all, the only time we really interact is through fuckin’ doves and when we sleep!” Puffy rolled her eyes as she combed a bit of his hair out.

“But anyway, you’re all finished.” She pat his back as he stood up, the weight on his legs making him instinctively grab onto the table with her supplies. He felt nice, clean to say. “You should change, the wedding starts soon, and the king’s waiting for you.” Puffy looked up at the lock above her vanity, nodding with her advice.

“Alright, thank you!” He grabbed the box, now only holding his own suit, Charlie was probably(?) already in the venue. 

♠♦♣♥

“Charlie, can you help with my necklace?” Quackity asked, taking out the small necklace, which still laid in the suit. He had seen him wandering in the halls a few seconds beforehand.

“Of course, Quackity!” He handed off the necklace to his friend, who lifted up his hair a bit to link the hook with his chain, before then setting it down on his neck, letting Quackity get used to the cold feelings of the chain.

“Thank you, Charlie.” He hugged the advisor, who hugged back tightly. “No problems, Quackity.” Quackity held onto Charlie for a bit longer, until Charlie was 

Time went quickly after that, after Charlie put his necklace on, his father had found him and brought him to the door, where the music still played behind it. The king locked his arm with Quackity’s. “Are you ready, son?” He asked.

“Were you?” Quackity replied, staring holes into the door. 

“I wasn’t. Your mother was… Not quite okay with getting married to somebody like me. But… That isn’t a problem now, isn’t it?” His dad attempted to joke. Quackity’s mother was dead. He took a deep breath as the music abruptly paused, replaced by a more somber piano. 

A small, orange haired boy, probably the flower boy, walked in first, placing pedals on the aisle. Then the king led Quackity in, shivering when he saw all the stares set on him. He looked up to Wilbur. He looked beautiful. His suit was simple, white button up with a black vest and tie. But it suited him so much. 

He felt his cheeks get red, and looked away before their eyes could meet. Soon, he was only a few feet away, as he was closer to the priest now too, who began the ceremony once the king went to his seat. 

Quackity tried to not pay attention to the priest’s rambling about Prime or whatever, looking into Wilbur’s eyes, who easily met him with a smile.

“ You look good, ” He mouthed. “ So do you. ” Quackity wanted to reply. But instead he looked at the priest, after they had called their names.

 "Quackity HQ and Wilbur Soot, have you come here to enter into marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly? Are you prepared, as you follow the path of marriage, to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live? Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?" Question after question, both nodded hesitantly. 

“Alright. Because it is your intention to enter into the covenant of Holy Matrimony, join your right hand, and declare your consent before Prime.” The priest stepped back as they held hands. Wilbur’s hand was surprisingly clammy.

“I, Wilbur Soot minecraft, take you, Quackity HQ, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life. ” Wilbur agreed, tightening his grip on Quackity after the last line,

“I, Quackity HQ, take you, Wilbur Soot, to be my husband. I promise to be faithful to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honor you all the days of my life.” He half-heartedly promised.

Can they just skip to the part where this is over?

The priest turned the page of the book on his pedestal, looking at Wilbur. “Wilbur, do you take Quackity for your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?” He asked. “I do.” His tone was cold as their hands let go.

His gaze turned to Quackity. “ Quackity, do you take WIlbur for your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?” He repeated the question. “I-I do.” He muttered. 

The flower boy from before held out the pillow of two rings to Wilbur, going on his toes to let WIlbur reach it. Wilbur smiled, genuinely, before taking a ring. He held out his hand to let Wilbur slide it on. “Quackity, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity.” He told his fiance.

Quackity took the last ring, before the small kid scurried off, like a fox. He turned back to Wilbur, putting the ring on his finger. “Wilbur, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity.” He repeated, like he’d been doing the whole time.

“You may now kiss the groom.” Quackity’s heart was racing as Wilbur approached. He put his palms on Wilbur’s cheeks and pulled him in, kissing him.

It was short, but sweet. When Quackity left his lips, people were clapping. Charlie was cheering, Tommy was screaming. The duo couldn’t help but laugh at their best man’s reactions, before looking at each other. 

“Good job.” Wilbur smiled. “You too, Soot.” Quackity chuckled. “Well, it’s actually Wilbur HQ now.” He paused, letting Quackity sink it in.

“ Wow . That’s… Strange.” He mumbled, and Wilbur laughed. “Y’know, I’m glad that we got to know each other before we married. It makes everything so much better. ” He surprisingly didn't sound sarcastic, only sincere. “S-Same.” He uttered, before pulling in Wilbur for a tight hug. 

“Idiot.” Quackity chuckled.

“Dumbass.” He replied.

When Wilbur left his arms, he noticed that everybody had moved on to eat. “Ah, finally! First meal of the day!” Quackity cheered, walking towards the food, specifically the cake.

Wilbur followed with an adoring sigh. 

♠♦♣♥

“It’s disappointing that we couldn’t even pick the flavor of the cake.” Wilbur mumbled, picking at the sickeningly sweet red velvet cake with his fork. Meanwhile, Quackity finished with his third piece. Third.

“You’re gonna throw up if you eat that much.” Wilbur kindly pointed out, using his fork to point at his plate. “Well at least I’m eating the cake!” His husband rolled his eyes in reply, shoveling some cake into his mouth. 

“I for one, would like to congratulate you two, on the marriage I mean.” A man approached them, a large crown on his head, and white mask to cover his face. “Prince Dream, glad you can make it!” Quackity wiped his mouth, greeting the man.

Wilbur had never seen him in his whole life. Well, technically, he hasn’t met him face to face. He has heard his voice in meeting rooms with Phil, and his pictures hung upon Essempi Kingdom walls. He’s heard tales too, ones of wars that Essempi was destined to win, as long as Dream was at the army’s command.

The rivalry he had with Tech–

He still stood up to greet him too.

“It was a pleasure to watch the ceremony, it was wholesome. ” Dream explained, not knowing that almost all of what they said was a lie. “Thanks… Is Sir George here?” Wilbur asked as an attempt to contribute to the conversation. He knew who George was, at least. He was Dream’s best knight, his second in command, in war, and in life.

They seemed more in love than the married couple.

The room went silent, all eyes on Wilbur.

Shit.

Even Quackity out of all people glared at Wilbur like George’s name was Voldemort.

“You… You haven’t heard the news?” Dream uttered. Wilbur looked at Quackity for answers, who gave him a look that said, “ You shouldn’t have said that. ”

Wilbur shook his head innocently. 

“Oh, it’s alright then. I’m sure somebody will tell you at some point.” The prince looked off to the side, before continuing with, “It’s been fun, gentlemen, but I’m afraid that I’ve got some work to attend to. I’ll see you two later!” With that, Dream didn’t bother staying for another second, trudging out the door. 

“Wilbur, you idiot! Dream is our ally, and you mention his dead boyfriend?!” Quackity whispered to him, his tone making it sound like he wanted to scream. “I– I didn’t know!” The brunette quickly defended himself. 

Quackity sighed, standing up. “I’m gonna find Slime, to see how our status with Essempi is, after that whole debacle. I’ll be back.” Wilbur frowned as his new husband left, leaving him alone. “ Who the hell is Slime? ” Wilbur asked himself, before looking around.

I’ll look for Theseus, He decided. He stood up, and walked in the opposite direction of Quackity.

“And then a fuckin’ dragon blew through, and obviously, since Techno wasn’t there, I had to fight it! So I grabbed a potion and chucked it at the dragon!” He heard his little brother recall a story that he remembered vaguely, one of when Theseus was only about 15.

“Tommy, who are you talking to? ” Wilbur asked, peeking around the corner. He found Tommy, with Fundy sitting on his shoulders. “Fundy, big man!” Tommy hummed, watching as the flower boy giggled upon being flown around the area. 

“You’re a great uncle, you know.” Wilbur commented as Theseus eventually let Fundy scurry off to get more cake. “I know that!” He hummed.

Fundy was an accident, if it wasn’t clear enough.

Wilbur had been at sea with Phil, where he somehow knocked up a siren out of everything. He stuck around until she eventually handed the child off to Wilbur, stating that she had, “Other sailors to fry,”. Ironic, right?

♠♦♣♥

Quackity eventually found Charlie in the hall after searching around for a bit.

“It’s not that, I’m just not sure how to explain to him–” Quackity heard him cut himself off upon hearing Quackity’s footsteps. “Oh, Quackity!” Charlie chirped. 

“Charlie, who were you talking to?” Quackity asked. “Oh, nobody to worry about!” He assured, staring holes into the floor. 

“What did you want to tell me about, on the carriage? There’s nobody around.” The prince asked.

“Ah, it’s nothing big…” He exclaimed, and Quackity didn’t believe it for a second.

“Charlie, you can talk to me. I’m your friend. ” He reminded, and Charlie sighed. “Fine, it’s just that…” Charlie paused, rubbing his shoulder. 

“ I don’t have 206 bones… ” He mumbled.

What?

Quackity paused. That wasn’t… 

Before Quackity could process it, his friend broke out into incomprehensible sobs. “I-I’m sorry for not telling you sooner!” He sobbed, before wrapping his arms around Quackity, crying into his chest. 

“I-It’s okay Charlie, I accept you for who you are…?”

“It– It’s not okay, Quackity!” He replied.

He quickly left his arms, practically switching personalities. “That’s what I wanted to tell you, Quackity! I’ll see you later!” Quackity couldn’t question further, as Charlie scurried off.

For some reason, Quackity doubted that… Whatever Charlie was talking about wasn’t actually what he wanted to talk about.

Alas, he sighed, before heading back to the venue.

♠♦♣♥

Both Wilbur and Quackity were exhausted by the time they arrived at Quackity’s room. Wilbur hadn’t bothered to change out of his suit before collapsing in bed. Quackity had bothered at least changing out of his suit (he couldn’t take the necklace off, since he hadn’t seen Charlie since their weird conversation yesterday).

He looked out of the window, seeing that it was far into the night at this point, it was practically pitch black outside, the chirps of grasshoppers occasionally filling the silence. 

“Wilbur, you alive?” Quackity asked, watching as Wilbur’s chest rose and fell, his body unmoving. “ Guess not. ” he thought, collapsing into bed next to Wilbur. 

Despite his better judgment, he pulled himself closer to Wilbur, tucking himself into his chest. His warmth was nice, and he barely cared as an asleep Wilbur rolled around a bit, wrapping his arms around Quackity, like a warm hug.

And they didn’t move for the rest of the night. 

♠♦♣♥

Wilbur woke up first, discovering himself and Quackity cuddled up next to each other. “Quackity, we’re cuddling.” He whispered into his husband's ear, however, he didn’t respond.

“ He’s actually asleep, ” His mind pointed out, and slowly, he left his cuddle session with Quackity. Wilbur quickly changed into more comfortable clothes, before he shook Quackity awake too. 

“Wake up, Q. We have princely shit to attend to.” Quackity grumbled something incomprehensible, rising up slowly. “Morning, Wilbur.” He sighed, getting up easily. 

“Your Highness!” A guard bursted into the room without permission, a desperate look on his face. 

He looked at Wilbur. “Hey, you don’t have permission to walk into our room without announcing–” The guard cut Quackity off.

“It’s important!” He insisted. “Fine, what is it?” He decided to humor the guard. “Your Highness, when was the last time you saw Duke Theseus?” Wilbur froze, looking at the ground, then Quackity, then the guard. “During the wedding yesterday, why?” The guard froze.

“Duke Theseus is missing! ” The guard confessed. “Excuse me?” he muttered. “He wasn’t in his sleeping quarters when King Philza checked. We’ve scoured the castle, he isn’t anywhere.” Quackity was now fully awake, standing up next to Wilbur. 

“Your Royal Advisor is missing as well.” Wilbur’s heart raced as they made eye contact. “Fuck– Why did anybody not wake us up!?” Wilbur screamed. “We’ve been looking for you two! Nobody thought that you’d be asleep mid-afternoon!” The guard argued. Quackity paced around.

“What can we even do?” Wilbur asked, calmly. “We’ll be going over the alibis of the attendees, and guards are still looking outside,” he replied.

“Alright, lead us to the crime scene– or whatever.” He sighed. The guard nodded and Wilbur grabbed his husband’s arm, making him follow the guard as well.

♠♦♣♥

This wasn’t going anywhere.

Everybody only cared about Tommy.

It made sense, since Tommy had a higher ranking, a prince, compared to Charlie, a mere royal advisor. 

It burned. 

Quackity sobbed in the garden alone, the sun warming his hair, which was undesirably hot to the touch. He missed Charlie. He missed him so much. He missed the way he greeted Quackity, the way he was always chipper, despite the situation.

This was hopeless. The first priority was Tommy, then Charlie. 

Fuck!

“Quackity, are you alright?” A familiar figure crouched down next to Quackity. “Yeah. Just… Thinking.” He replied, wiping the tears away from his face. “It’s alright. We’ll find both of them, they sent out the best people to search.” His husband assured him.

Search for who? Tommy, obviously. Charlie isn’t important in this situation.

“I know.” He said. 

“Q–” Wilbur began, but he didn’t have time to, as they heard a laugh.

No, a cackle. 

The duo looked up at whoever laughed.

A hue of black, a cloud, stared back at them, with red beady eyes in the middle.

“ Aw, the precious princes are complaining about their brother figures, how sad! ” The voice teased, causing both Quackity and Wilbur to stare up at them. “What the everliving fuck did you do to them?!” Quackity screamed at the disembodied voice. 

“Well, I’ve taken them, obviously! The only way you can get them back is to find them…” The thing paused. “Good luck! All I’ll tell you is to go north, and good luck!” Before either could chase after it, it dissipated into the air, leaving both of them in frozen shock.

“Did… Did that just happen?” Wilbur muttered. “I– What the fuck?!” Quackity groaned.

“Do you think he was serious?” He asked, but Quackity was already walking away. “Quackity, where are you going?!” Wilbur followed behind as Quackity stomped away. “ What do you think? ” He asked in a cold tone.

When Wilbur didn’t respond, continuing to follow his husband back into their room, Quackity sighed. 

“I’m leaving to go find my best friend.” He stated, pulling out a satchel. 

“Okay, calm down before you do something irrational.” Wilbur surely wasn’t used to being the rational thinker, but clearly, Quackity wasn’t thinking straight.

“I’m thinking extremely rationally, for your information. We have plenty of other adults to handle the kingdom.” He explained, packing stuff in the bag. “We can send out the knights to find them, Q! We can’t just leave the kingdom in disarray!” Wilbur tried to explain. 

Quackity paused, looking at Wilbur, as his muscles tensed. “Wilbur, you don’t understand. ” He began, fists bunching the sheets. “Charlie– He’s been with me my entire life. I can’t just sit by and let the knights do everything!” He sounded panicked, voice cracking. 

“He– I won’t allow it. ” He uttered, the silence filling the room like water, suffocating the two. Wilbur sighed, going to stand next to his husband. 

“If I can’t stop you, I’m going with. You aren’t doing this alone, alright?” Wilbur tilted his head. Quackity looked like he was about to retaliate. “You forget that Tommy got taken too.” He uttered Theseus’s real name.

“ Fine. Just pack quickly, we’re going at nightfall.” His husband sighed. “Alright.” Wilbur simply replied.

If Quackity was leaving, Wilbur was going with him.

He promised.