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English
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Published:
2023-03-26
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946
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1/1
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Started Making Onigiri, now I have 172 Meringue Cookies

Summary:

Perona tries to do something nice for Zoro (very cute), ends up making a huge mess (not cute), and its all Sanjis fault.
Based on true events.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Perona slammed the oven shut with an exasperated huff and turned to appraise the wreck of a kitchen.
This was what she got for trying to do something nice. She probably wouldn’t even get a thank you for all her effort, and she knew that going in. But still, it was the cute thing to do. Make treats for your friend when they’re sad.

Zoro was a quiet guy. But when he did speak it was usually about swords or the Straw Hats pervy cook and his cooking and how whatever Mihawk and made for them wasn’t up to the cooks standards. Which really wasn’t fair. Mihawk was a great cook. Not that she would ever say as much.
But Zoro missed his friends and complaining was the only way he would express it since he collapsed to his knees to beg Mihawk to train him.

And then he went and lost his eye and Perona felt bad.
Stitching up his empty socket had been riveting. But the way he bumped into walls now whenever he wandered the castle (wandered intentionally, never because he was actually lost, Perona thought as she rolled her two perfectly intact and adorable eyes), that was so not cute.
So she had taken pity on the stupid boy, and decided to do something nice.

And now she found herself in a sticky situation. Literally.

Perona had never made onigiri before, but it seemed easy enough. And she knew from Zoros near nightly bitching that it was his favorite.
There were so many options for fillings that she figured she could have fun. Then she realized that Mihawk hadn’t been on a supply run recently, and she didn’t want to ruin the surprise by asking Zoro to go fishing for her, so her options were actually pretty limited. She had found some umeboshi deep in the cold cupboard, her mouth puckered at the thought, but Zoro probably loved them. For her and Mihawk though, she tapped her chin in thought as she appraised her options. There were eggs. She could make cured eggs. That was something she had always wanted to try to make for herself. What a perfect opportunity! It wouldn’t do for Zoro to think this was all for his sake.
So she started the rice and while that was cooking she began separating the eggs to cure. Halfway through that she realized that the eggs would need to sit over night, but that would be fine. Just get it done. A nice breakfast, or an assortment of snacks for after the next days training regiment would be just as wonderful of a surprise.
Then when she was nearly finished, she realized the fatal flaw in her plan. She would need to do something with the egg whites or Zoro would end up on a whole spiel about food waste. And while yes that was actually a good point, what the fuck was she supposed to do with so much egg whites?

Well meringue cookies only needed a few ingredients and seemed easy enough. Perfect, sorted. She would just do that.
She set the rice aside to cool, and popped the yolks into the fridge to marinate. In the meantime, she would make the cookies.
Superb time management! She congratulated herself.

Except...well, four eggs was all that was required for 86 cookies. She would need to double the recipe. In theory that would be easier than coming up with another use for all the egg whites.
And meringue cookies were cute and delicious, why not make so many of them? So she plowed on ahead.

It wasn’t until she was coated to her elbows with the sticky mixture, every baking surface in the castle overfilled with dollops of meringue, and the bowl was still not empty, that it occurred to her that maybe this hadn’t been her best idea.

If Mihawk returned and saw the kitchen like this, she was sure to get an earful! Or rather, a very menacing and quiet stare, which was way, way worse.
Not to mention how annoying it would be if Zoro came stumbling in and noticed that everything was sticky and reeking of sugar.

Zoro didn’t even like sweets! (Weirdo!)
That meant she and Mihawk would have to eat all of the cookies themselves!
This was definitely a disaster. So not cute.
It was all that stupid cooks fault.
And she hadn’t even made the onigiri yet!

Perona huffed, stomped her foot, and set about tidying up the mess so she could at least roll the umeboshi tonight.
She needed something salty asap to counter all the sugar she had licked off of her mixing spoon, fingers, the countertop, in the process of making the damn cookies.
One thing was for sure, if she ever met that curly eyebrow pervert cook again she was hitting him with all of her hollows until he was so empty he could eat all of the meringue cookies and still feel the pit of despair growling from his stomach.

*~*~*~*

The meringue cookies were delicious and turned out to be one of Mihawks favorite treats. Zoro even ate a number of them, saying that it was because he couldn’t risk letting them go bad because that would be a waste. But he said it with a wistful longing in his one good eye, perhaps remembering a far away friend with a sweet tooth.
Perona even got to see the slightest hint of a smile on his otherwise stoic face when he bit into the first onigiri.

After that she decided the whole debacle had been worthwhile, and she wouldn’t have to kick the cooks ass after all.

Notes:

Wrote this in a meringue induced sugar high