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Tom couldn’t help but wonder if anyone missed the stars.
That is, if anyone missed the myriads of familiar constellations that held their forms for countless years. Would the scholars that named their shapes weep at their sudden absence if they were alive to see what it had become? Did the astronomers that studied them panic at this new and jarring unknown?
It was all so different now.
Only a few hours had passed since he had seen that swirling portal, since Star ran through it with a hope he wished he could share. The world around them shifted when Star and Marco had met face to face. They held on to each other then, as if the other would disappear if one of them let go.
Tom had watched as relief washed over the two, as they cried their tears of joy knowing that neither would be going anywhere anytime soon. All Tom could do was watch as the world he knew so well vanished and morphed into a strange and terrifying unknown. Sorrow had filled his entire being then, so profound and conflicting that he wasn’t sure what to make of himself.
He had wanted to run away as fast as he could, but Star turned to look at him with watery eyes and open arms. He had always had a soft spot for those eyes, so bright and persuasive. Maybe that is why he did not hesitate to join them, to hold them as tight as he could. He grieved at the thought that he could have lost his friends if the world hadn’t changed, at the fact that he would have been willing to run if they hadn’t turned to him.
Now, he found himself sitting on the roof of Marco’s home, looking out into the new bright and colorful night sky. He could not deny it was beautiful or that it was quite the upgrade from what it had been. But the beauty of it all could not quiet the part of him that missed the old stars, the part that still held so much grief for loosing everything he had know, that wondered if it had even been worth it.
“Oh hey Tom, we were wondering where you'd run off to,” a familiar voice from below called out.
Peeking over the side of the roof, Tom was met with the expectant eyes of one Marco Diaz.
"What are you doing up there anyways?" Marco said squinting in what Tom assumed was suspicion.
"Oh, just- you know," Tom trailed off, not elaborating further.
Marco hummed, his squinted gaze not leaving Tom.
Tom was sure Marco would turn around and walk back inside, leaving him to his strange... brooding? He wasn't sure if what he was doing was brooding but so far he seemed to fit the description. To his surprise he was instead met with Marco effortlessly climbing up the side of his house and up onto the roof.
“Woah! I have no idea how you get up here so easily,” Tom said, holding out an arm for Marco to take. "I had to climb out through Star's window." Tom decided not to mention that he almost fell out said window trying to reach said spot on the roof. Marco didn't need to know. He had a reputation to uphold as the objectively cooler friend in the relationship.
"Eh, I've lived here my whole life." Marco smiled, taking Tom’s hand and pulling himself up next to him. "Sometimes you get board and decide today's the day I learn how to get on the roof. It's nice for stargazing."
"Yeah, sure is." Tom turned away to look back up at the glistening night sky.
The two sat in silence for a moment, just watching the world go by as if everything was normal.
The city lights still shone dim among the strange amalgamation of buildings that Echo Creek and Mewni had become. Traffic continued on, even if roads had been displaced. The panic had been momentary, but the uneasy tension would be a constant. The world carried on. They all carried on because it was all they could do.
It still wasn't easy. Especially in a world now devoid of magic and all it's intricacies. A world left only with the memory.
"Do you think you'll ever get used to it?" Tom turned to Marco, a curious look on his face.
"Hm?"
"The sky, I mean," Tom glanced away, "and I guess everything else."
"Well, I think I will. Someday.” He looked up at the sky, a slight smile forming on his face. “It’s different,” he continued, “But it’s a good different, I think.”
"Yeah."
Tom stared out distantly, a lost sort of look in his eyes.
Marco turned to him, studying his expression.
"Will you-" Marco finally asked him, "Will you get used to it?"
And this was what Tom was afraid of. To confront the fact that no, he would never truly be used to it. He was not like Marco or Star who would be able to go on without that magic. Sure he knew Star would miss her magic and all of its practicality, but at the end of the day, it was her sacrifice. Star would learn to live without magic because it was the consequence she created. But for Tom, that magic was part of him. It was what warmed him, what kept him alive, and now that flame that once warmed his body had been extinguished leaving him stranded and cold. Hell he isn't exactly sure how he is even here, even if he had a slight idea.
He wasn't even sure he knew how to be angry at Star anymore, for not finding another way, for selfishly destroying magic and all of those who were made out of it. God, the Magic High Commission let her. They knew it would be their end. They knew they would die. How... how many had been wiped from existence? How many friends-how much family did he lose?
“I-” Tom looked down at his hands, a sort of haunted expression painting his visage. “I don’t know.”
Marco furrowed his brow, an intense searching in his eyes as he looked at Tom. Then something clicked, his brows raised as the feeling of having been drenched in cold water washed over him.
"You lost your magic." Marco mumbled. "It's gone. Oh my god, Tom. It's gone."
Tom only bowed his head, raising his hands to rest it in them. The despair was evident at being acknowledged, at being seen.
Marco felt it, the despair, the weight of their actions. He'd gone along with the plan after all. It had felt like there was no other way.
Marco reached out gently moving Tom's hands and cupping his cheeks, turning Tom to look at him.
Tom leaned into the touch, placing his hands on top of Marco's, his eyes beginning to well.
"I'm sorry," Marco whispered, pulling him into a tight embrace. "I'm so sorry."
Tom buried his face in Marco's shoulder, holding on to the fabric of Marco's hoodie as he returned the embrace. He allowed himself to mourn, to leave tear stains on that hoodie, to hold on to that boy until the world grew quiet.
Marco held him closer, burying a hand into his hair and rubbing small circles on his back.
“We’ll find you a way home,” he mumbled into Tom’s hair. “I promise.”
Tom gripped him tighter. “I don’t think I have a home to go to,” Tom heaved out between tears.
"No Tom, you don't understand." Marco pulled away just enough for Tom to look at him.
"I'm going to do everything I can. We have to find your family. We have to do something." Marco looked at Tom with increasing desperation. "I have to make it right, I have to fix this. For you Tom"
Marco cupped Tom's cheeks, brushing away his tears with his thumbs.
Tom only stared, his carmine eyes searching the soft brown ones that looked at him intently.
"Ok," Tom whispered, his face scrunching in grief. "Ok."
Tom let his eyes close, let himself melt into Marco's touch. A deep sigh left his lips as he let his head fall onto Marco's shoulder. Marco simply held him now, running a soothing hand through his hair.
Marco looked up at that strange array of stars now decorating the heavens, contemplating if maybe he missed the old stars too.
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Tom couldn’t help but wonder how long it would take for him to get used to it all.
That is, if he would ever get used to the strange amalgamation of a place he used to call home. Would he one day stop looking for a life he once lived in the crevices of the universe? Would he abandon this new one he had made if he ever found it?
He wasn’t sure.
But they had tried. It proved to be a much bigger task than Marco had thought, but Marco had made a promise and was adamant on continuing the search. Tom appreciated the sentiment, even if he had long given up. He had let himself mourn everything he had ever known, had let this new and strange family embrace him. He knew it would never be the same, that there would be days were the grief was as strong as the day he had lost it all. But there was someone there now who'd hold him through it all, who wouldn't hesitate to lend him a soft red hoodie to keep him warm, who would guide him through the strangeness of it all.
Now he laid on the grass looking up into the sky pointing out new constellations as he made up their stories in hopes that this time they would stay. He laid there hand in hand with the boy who promised to never let go.
For him, Tom would name every new star. He would make sense of this new and jarring unknown in a silent promise to stay.
And he hoped that one day, it would be enough.