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When Kyle agreed to this little farce of Stan’s creation, he hadn’t really been thinking. All that had crossed his mind was the fact that he could call Stan his boyfriend, hold his hand, and allow his affection for his best friend to show without worrying about someone finding out about it. He had agreed all to readily, without even really thinking about it, and now it’s come to bite him in the ass.
Stan and Wendy had a relationship that has been off and on since the third grade. Everyone was unsurprised that every one of their break ups ended with them getting back together within a few days. So, it had been a surprise when Stan called Kyle saying that he was seriously over Wendy, this break up was real, and he needed Kyle to fake date him to keep Wendy from expecting them to get back together.
“Why can’t you ask someone else?” Kyle had asked, flustered.
“Because I can’t trust anyone like I can you,” Stan had replied, “Please, Kyle? C’mon, it’ll be a few weeks, tops! I’ll give you my allowance for a week!”
Kyle had sighed and pinched his nose and agreed. He was weak for Stan, and he always would.
Besides, he reasoned, when will I ever have a chance to date Stan again, even if it’s fake?
It’s fake, he had to repeat to himself. It’ll be one hundred percent fake. It helped ease his racing heart just as much as it left a bitter taste on his tongue. Kyle closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, steeling his nerves as he saw Stan approach from the crowd of students.
“Hey, Kyle.” Stan said, grinning.
“Hey, Stan.” Kyle replied, trying, and failing to match Stan’s seemingly genuine smile. Stan’s lips were painted black today, Kyle noticed instantly, and his insides turned to mush. His hands shook slightly as he shoved a textbook into his locker.
“You busy after school?” Stan asked, “I was thinking we could try out that new game you got last week.”
Games. Gaming was a safe topic. Kyle could handle gaming. Anything to keep his mind from the fact Stan’s eyes practically glittered and he was looking at Kyle.
“Yeah, sure.” Kyle nodded, closing his locker door. It locked with a clang. “You do the math homework? Number seven killed me, dude.”
Stan groaned as they started walking to their first class. “I did it this morning. I have no idea what I wrote.”
Kyle laughed, but his teasing reply caught in his throat when Stan threaded their fingers together. He felt his face warm and barely caught himself from gaping at his friend. Hand holding was expected of boyfriends. He knew this. He knew they’d hold hands eventually, but butterflies flooded his stomach all the same. He could feel the callouses on Stan’s palm, and his hands were cooler than Kyle thought they’d be, even through the fishnet gloves that covered his palms. Sparks shot up Kyle’s fingers and ran up his arm at the contact.
Fuck, he was so gay.
Stan looked unbothered, smiling at him with just the barest hints of a blush on his cheekbones. Kyle squeezed his hand and smiled. If he was going to play Stan’s boyfriend, he might as well take advantage of it. It wouldn’t last long, and after a staged break up, they’d be just friends again.
“We could grab a bite, before we go back to my house.” He suggested.
“Sweet,” Stan grinned.
His smile always made Kyle weak in the knees. The way his eyes crinkled, and the dark eyeliner made the color of his irises seem brighter never failed to get Kyle’s heartrate up. Kyle squeezed the hand in his once more, and then pulled Stan into class. He hoped his face wasn’t as red as it felt.
Rumors of him and Stan dating reached every student by lunch, not that Kyle was really surprised. Craig had seen them on the way to their second period, so it made sense that everyone knew of South Park high school’s second gay couple, seeing as Craig was known for his gossiping. Stan took it all in stride, whilst Kyle had a hard time seeming unbothered.
“I knew you guys were gay,” Cartman said when they all piled onto their usual table at lunch. He looked torn between smug and dreadful. “But don’t be gay around us, we don’t need to choke on how in love you guys are.”
“Fuck off, Cartman.” Kyle scoffed.
“Yeah, no need to be jealous.” Stan said mockingly.
Making people jealous would imply that their relationship was real. And it felt real, with the way Stan threw his arm over Kyle’s shoulders while they walked to class, or how he threaded his fingers with Kyle’s, smiled at him like he was something precious. Like what they were pretending to have was real.
Not even an entire day in, and Kyle was already regretting this. Because he would never have this. This fake relationship they had was just a tease, giving him a taste of what he could never have. Stan was his best friend, and that’s all Kyle will be. Soon, Stan will stop smiling at him like that, stop touching him like that, stop seemingly loving him like that.
Suddenly, Kyle lost his appetite.
They shared a platter of fries and chocolate shakes after school. They had walked there with their hands clasped, and Kyle had felt the burn of eyes on them the entire way there. But it had been normal, walking to the diner just a few blocks from their house, sharing fries and drinking their milkshakes until one of them tapped out due to a brain freeze.
It was normal until Stan would smile this lovesick grin, let their feet rest together purposefully, as Kyle ranted about whatever came to mind. Kyle had expected them to pretend whilst in public, but sitting in a booth that wasn’t necessarily in the open? Why would Stan need to pretend when it was basically just them?
“So, uh,” Kyle started as they shuffled out of the diner. Stan held the door open for him, and then reached for his hand the moment they were out of the entryway, as easy as breathing. “Did Wendy notice?”
Stan stared at him for a moment, seemingly surprised at the question. “I mean, everyone did?” he asked.
Kyle squinted at his friend. “Yeah? Dude, I meant did she say anything.”
Stan nodded his almost nervously. “She didn’t talk to me, but Bebe asked me what my deal was.”
Kyle nodded along, adjusting the strap of his bag. He hadn’t really expected Wendy to approach Stan instantly, though he thought she would have said something.
“Well, we knew we’d have to pretend for a while.” Kyle shrugged, trying his best to seem unbothered. “Not a big deal.”
Stan stared at him, his expression unreadable. His dark lipstick was smudged slightly, the color faded from eating. Kyle wanted to reach out and fix it.
“Yeah,” Stan said, turning to look forward. “Not a big deal.”
“My mom said you aren’t allowed back to the house unless we stay downstairs.” Kyle said in leu of greeting the next day.
Stan looked bewildered before he burst into laughter. “Afraid I’m going to take your innocence?” he asked teasingly.
“You’re the worst, dude,” Kyle said, but he was grinning.
They walked to class hand in hand.
“This isn’t working,” Kyle said, a week and a half into their scheme. Wendy has yet to stop glaring at him in class – Kyle felt like he was being sized up every time she looked at him, honestly – and he heard a few rumors of Stan using him as a way to get Wendy jealous, due to their last break up.
Stan squinted at him after tearing his eyes off his English homework. Their class was just after lunch, which Stan had mostly spent rapidly writing down the answers to the homework he should have finished the other day.
“I think it’s working.”
“Has Wendy stopped trying to get back together with you?”
“N-No,” Stan stumbled over his words, lips thinning as he hid his face by turning back to his homework. Kyle squinted at him.
“Okay, so it’s not working.” Kyle replied, exasperated.
“What, you think I should kiss you in front of everyone?” Stan asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
Kyle flushed at the suggestion, and Stan’s face steadily turned pink as well. He gnawed on his lip, and Kyle’s eyes unconsciously followed the action.
“Not in front of everyone,” he said.
“Huh?” Stan’s eyes widened.
“We don’t have to kiss in front of everyone.” Kyle replied, unable to meet Stan’s gaze.
“Then how would that help people think we’re dating?” Stan asked slowly, and there was something that looked almost…hopeful in his expression.
“You, uh, you wear lipstick, dude.” Kyle said, nervous. “If you kissed me, it would stain…?”
He could easily just apply some of Stan’s usual lipstick, but the idea of kissing Stan was too good to pass up.
“Oh,” Stan said. He sounded almost disappointed.
Something bitter rose up, his chest tightening. Was Stan disappointed that Kyle wouldn’t kiss him with people watching? Was he really going to go that far for their little play pretend?
Kyle looked away, “We don’t have to. I’m just thinking about ways to make it seem real.”
“No, I,” Stan fumbled, eyes wide. “No, Kyle, seriously. I don’t mind. It’s a good idea! It’s a really good idea!”
Kyle raised an eyebrow at him, bewildered. “Okay?” he said awkwardly. “Are you going to kiss me now or what?”
He vaguely heard Stan whisper something like oh God before Stan leaned forward and sealed their lips together. Kyle pulled back after a moment, frowning at his friend.
“Dude that was literally the worst kiss ever.” Kyle said blandly, pressing his lips together to smear some of the pigment he could feel on his lips. He hoped his face wasn’t as red as it felt, hoped that his heart would stop jumping in his chest.
“What?” Stan asked dumbly.
“It was like kissing cardboard.” Kyle teased. “Were you nervous or do you always act like a wall when you kiss someone?”
“I think we should kiss again.” Stan said.
“I could just steal some lipstick if you think I need more.” Kyle replied, feeling his face flush, “We need to smudge yours too.”
Stan stared at him; his lips were still parted from where his jaw had dropped after they kissed. His throat bobbed with a swallow, and Kyle forced his eyes away from it. He met Stan’s eyes, and his heart jumped again.
Fuck it.
Kyle cupped Stan’s cheek and then leaned forward, closing his eyes as their lips met again. He felt Stan jolt under his hand, but tilted his face to the side so their noses slotted together instead of awkwardly pressed together like they had in their last kiss. It was easy to coax Stan’s lips to part, and it was even easier to kiss him deeper.
“That’s a real kiss,” Kyle said breathlessly when he pulled back after what felt like hours.
Stan licked his lips as he dropped his hand to Kyle’s hip, squeezing at his hipbone. “Yeah,” he agreed, sounding just as out of breath. He sounded awed, looked awed. Kyle absently ran his thumb against Stan’s bottom lip, smudging some of the dark pigment, and when his friend opened his eyes, his pupils were blown wide.
Before either of them could say anything, the bell blared, signaling the end of their break and the start of their next class. They jumped apart, fumbling to grab their things. Stan shoved his work into his bag, and Kyle scrambled to grab his own. Stan practically clung to his hand as they hurried towards their next class.
“Holy shit,” Cartman crowed upon seeing them.
Kenny whistled wolfishly and Kyle felt his face burn, suddenly remembering how he probably looked. Stan’s face was red, and he didn’t meet anyone’s eyes, his lips kissed swollen and his lipstick smudged very obviously. Kyle’s sure he didn’t look much different. A pit formed in Kyle’s stomach.
“Shut up!” Kyle sputtered.
It’s not like it mattered, he thought bitterly, because none of this was even real.
“I can’t do this anymore.” Kyle admitted.
Stan made a vague huh as he slammed the buttons on his gaming controller. Kyle glowered at the game in front of him as his half of the screen declared him dead in bold, obnoxious colors.
“Us.” He explained. “I can’t fake date you anymore.”
It’s been a month. A month of them fake dating and nothing has happened, recently. The school would still gossip about them, Wendy had stopped squinting at Kyle every chance she got, and their friends still teased them about being together.
Every day Stan would meet Kyle at his locker, and they would laugh and tease each other, then they’d walk to class. Sometimes Kyle would carry Stan’s books, their hands clasped together, other times Stan would carry his backpack, his arm wrapped securely around Kyle’s waist. They’d sneak away from their friends when there was only fifteen minutes of their break left, and would do homework or play games on their phones together. Sometimes they would sneak kisses, under the disguise of keeping up their act of dating and then they’d run to their class with flushed faces and kiss swollen lips, and Kyle just couldn’t do it anymore.
He loved Stan, and all this was doing to him, was hurting him.
Stan looked over to him, but Kyle couldn’t face him. He didn’t want to see the emotions that cross his face, couldn’t see the disappointment of finding out their farce was over.
“Why?” Stan asked quietly.
Kyle’s eyebrows furrowed and he frowned. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” He said simply, because if he couldn’t have Stan romantically, he’d be damned if he couldn’t have Stan as his friend.
Stan was quiet for a long moment, Kyle almost thought he wouldn’t continue.
“What if,” Stan hesitated, “What if I want to ruin our friendship?”
Kyle looked at him in shock. “What the hell do you mean?”
Stan looked embarrassed; Kyle realized. He looked hesitant and scared and embarrassed. “Wendy and I, uh, we broke up because I really liked someone else.” Stan said slowly, “And – and she liked someone else. You know she’s dating Bebe now, right? Uh. Well…”
“Wait.” Kyle raised a hand. “Are you telling me you asked me to fake date you for no reason?”
“It wasn’t for no reason!” Stan refused, shaking his head wildly. “I didn’t think you’d actually date me. So, I, y’know.”
“You asked me to fake date you.” Kyle deadpanned.
Stan nodded solemnly. He fiddled with his fingers, and Kyle couldn’t stop staring at him.
“Do…do you have feelings for me?” he asked, his throat closing around his emotions.
“I do.” Stan said tentatively. “I’m sorry for tricking you.”
Kyle, well, he had done the same thing, hadn’t he?
He reached out and grasped Stan’s hand. Stan looked at him with wide eyes.
“I have feelings for you too.” Kyle said, lips curling up in a grin. “So, are we like actually dating now?”
“I fucking hope so.” Stan said, then he kissed him.
Kyle couldn’t stop himself from laughing against his boyfriend’s lips, wrapping an arm around Stan’s shoulder to pull him closer. They were smiling too widely for the kiss to be anything more than a stiff press of lips, but Kyle had never felt anything better. When they pulled back, Stans eyes were shining, and he was smiling widely. Kyle found himself copying the expression easily.
“That was way better than our first kiss,” Stan said.
“I think the next one will be better,” Kyle grinned.
Stan muttered “Dork” fondly against his lips, and Kyle threaded his fingertips into Stan’s inky locks.
The next day at school, Stan and Kyle were even more inseparable. Kyle flipped his friends off when they not-so-quietly whispered about his relationship.