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Hikari loves all of them.
Partitio is a stalwart ally, someone Hikari has relied upon time and time again since they met. His constant optimism and stubbornness have gotten Hikari out of the dark mess that is his mind more times than he can count. Throné is an adept fighter. She sees through every trick that their opponents thus far have tried to pull on them. Agnea… she’s special. There hasn’t been a single instance where a smile did not bloom on Hikari’s face when she was around. She is precious to Hikari, and he knows in his heart and soul that he would do everything in his power to keep her safe.
Including abandoning her.
What happened in the forest… was the final straw. That thing almost got him to kill General Rou. And if he could barely restrain himself against someone he has known for as long as Rou, then he doesn’t have any real guarantees that he will be able to do so with Ochette, or Osvald, or Agnea.
He knows she will not understand. He knows that none of them will. They will probably think him a coward and a liar for just up and leaving them. They’ll probably assume he doesn’t trust them. Agnea will be hurt when she finds out. And she probably won’t ever forgive him.
Agnea…
Hikari shakes his head in an attempt to dispel those thoughts. This is for their sake, he tells himself. As long as I stay here, they are in danger. This Beast within me… it will not lose its hold on me so easily. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to any of them.
He inhales… and exhales shakily. He climbs out of bed, treading lightly to avoid waking anyone. He almost makes it out of the room when the floorboard creaks loudly.
Hikari freezes. He looks nervously at Temenos, who is sleeping peacefully in the bed on the other side of the room. Hikari lets out another shaky breath. At this rate, he’s going to wake everyone up before he can get away.
But… maybe that’s a good thing. If they see him, they’ll talk him into staying, and then he won’t lose them. Then he won’t lose Agnea’s trust…
No, he berates himself. I’m doing this for her. For all of them. Although… it would be quite rude to just leave. They might worry…
Hikari tiptoes across the room, reaching over the front desk to grab a quill and a piece of paper. He scribbles a quick note- Huh!?!
His head whips back to the beds. They’re all fast asleep. …I could have sworn someone was looking at me… He watches all of them closely for a moment. …no. I am being paranoid. Get it together, Hikari. After all, th e y’r e n o th reat to y o u . They’r e fas t asleep, and all it would take is a quick- NO!
Hikari takes his hand off his sword, clutching his chest, his breathing ragged. He leaned on the front desk for support. I was right. I can’t stay here. I am a danger to all of them. He writes a few more regretful words and leaves the note on Agnea’s nightstand. This is for the best, he thought as he left his purse on top of the note. He walks to the entrance, looks at her one last time, and vanishes into the night.
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Agnea wasn’t sure which sound woke her up.
She knew that Hikari had just left, she was, er… “Observing” him as he went about his business. All she knew was that Hikari woke up, wrote something, and then proceeded to have a panic attack. She almost stopped feigning sleep to comfort him over it, but then thought better of it as she realized that he would probably avoid her. ‘It isn’t anything you need to worry about,’ he would probably say. His selflessness drives her nuts. Sometimes she feels like she needs to throttle him to make him realize that he matters too, and hug him and hold him and-
She silences her thoughts immediately. She was perfectly aware that she had been crushing on Hikari for at least the last couple of months. She DID NOT appreciate, however, the intrusive thoughts it had resulted in. But she would deal with that later. Right now she wanted to know what Hikari had left on her little table. I know there’s another name for it, but I can’t remember… why did he leave his purse here? She thought as she picked up the note.
My friends,
I am sorry to leave you so suddenly. I won’t go into too much detail about my reasons for doing so, but please trust me when I say it’s for the best. I have high hopes for all of you, and I know in my heart you will do great things. I will return to Ku, and reclaim the throne from my brother.
I left with you my purse. Money has been short within the group recently, so I hope the money within will help you on your travels, light though the purse may be.
May the Gods watch over you and protect you.
Hikari Ku
Fear.
Fear was coursing throughout Agnea’s entire body. Hikari was leaving!?! Why!?! Was it her fault? Maybe she was too chatty with him. Did she annoy him? Maybe it’s her fault. Maybe-
Stop it, Agnie. She was panicking. You know he only left a few minutes ago. Just breath. In… ‘n out… ok. I’m ok.
She gets up and lights a candle, looking at a map of the eastern continent. Knowing Hikari, he’s thought ‘a how to avoid being seen on the road, just in case there are more soldiers from the weapons incident earlier. She smiles to herself. He’s so smart…
She lightly bops herself on the head. Focus! If I were Hikari, I’d try to avoid the open road altogether. But there aren’t a lot of ways to get to Ku besides the main road… She thought to herself. I have to think like Hikari! Think outside of the box. If I restrict myself to common logic I won’t ever catch up to him!
…that’s it! She runs to the nightstand, changing out of her nightwear into her mother's dress. Strapping her dagger to her waist, she runs out the front door and into the night.
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Now I see why everyone tends to take the roads, Hikari thinks to himself.
Realizing that a lot of the Ku soldiers would probably be searching for him on the Eastern Wellgrove Trail, Hikari elected to ignore the road entirely and cut straight through the forest. Once clear of the forest, he would begin walking by the rock wall to return to the road once he reached the Western Sai Sands. Perhaps it did make him slower, but if it allowed him to avoid detection it would prove beneficial.
And if the group decides to search for me in the morning, I’ll be long gone anyways. Agnea might be hurt, but I know that the rest of them will help her through it. He let out a long sigh. Partitio and Agnea… both wanted me to open up to them. I wanted that too. But I couldn’t bring myself to lose anyone else I cared about, so I tried not to care in the first place.
“... and I failed miserably,” he confessed to no one. “Partitio and Agnea are some of the kindest people that I have ever met. And I care about the others too. Osvald, Ochette, Throné… all of them. But I already know that I can’t stay with them.” Because if I do, all of them will die.
Hikari stopped in his tracks, suddenly taking a great interest in his boots. I am a coward, he thought to himself. I couldn’t even look them in the eye and tell them what I planned to do. They deserved that much at least… For what felt like the millionth time that day, Hikari sighed. …what’s done is done. Make your peace and move forward. Taking a deep breath, he continued marching forward, determined to keep everyone safe. Both his country and his former companions.
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Agnea ran down the road as fast as her legs would carry her, and considering her lack of sleep and food she was quite fast. Gosh, ‘s almost dawn already?
Hikari must be so tired… She thought to herself. But I’ll find him eventually. Right now, if I can get to the rock wall gate before the sun is all the way up, I’ll be- “ACK!”
Agnea had been so deep in thought, she hadn’t bothered to watch where she was going and tripped on a small rise in the road. Unfortunately for her, this was directly above a 3-foot drop. Rolling down the small hill, she came slowly to a stop a few feet away from the bottom.
“Ow…” Agnea took a moment to look herself over. There were some cuts and bruises on her arms and legs, but nothing too serious. Then she realized her forehead felt wet. “Oh, drat.” She was bleeding from her forehead. I must ‘a scraped it on a rock or somethin’, she thought. I don’t have a way to patch myself up right now… She jumped up, a spring in her step as though nothing had happened. It was a self-motivating method that had helped her since she was little. She needed some motivation right now. “Nothing to it but to keep going!”
Agnea didn’t know how long she was running for before arriving at the gate. She took a moment to catch her breath before glancing at the sand to her right. It was undisturbed. “Hah… hah… good… I made it… hah…” After taking a moment to collect herself, she walked a few feet into the sandy snowfield, turned back to face the Leaflands, and sat down.
What can I even say to him? She thought to herself. Hikari has probably thought about this long and hard. Even if I stop him, I don’t have any real guarantee that he will listen to me. She buried her face in her hands. “...If Hikari is going the way I think he is, then he will get here eventually. All I have to do is wait.” And while I wait, I can think of some talking points.
So she brainstormed. And waited. Using every second she had at her disposal until the man dressed in the red kimono appeared in front of her.
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Hikari was dumbfounded.
He had taken care to be silent. He had even looked multiple times to ensure that all of the travelers were asleep. And he knows there’s no way (except for Temenos, maybe) that any of them can read minds.
So why was Agnea Bristarni blocking his path?
He looked at her for a moment. Her eyes were a mix of emotions that he could not decipher. Anger..? No. Something else, though he couldn’t fathom what. I might as well ask. Staring at each other won’t accomplish anything.
“How did you-”
“How could you.”
That stung Hikari. He saw the first of many emotions in her eyes.
Pain.
“This entire time, we’ve had your back! Why would you leave us now!?!”
Oh, for fucks sake. Does this bitch EVER shut up?
…Silence.
Oh come now, just cut her down and be done with it. You can’t deny the blood flowing through your veins.
Hikari was NOT having that. In his mind, he cut down the shadow. As he had many times before. He knew that it would solve the problem for now, but it would return eventually. It always did.
“...well?”
He turned back to Agnea. How the hell am I going to get her to understand?
“...it’s complicated.”
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WHAT did he just say?
He left them without saying anything, leaving behind a vague note. He made her worry about him. She hurt herself trying to get to him. And all he could tell her was that ‘it’s complicated!?!’
No. Agnea would NOT allow him to dodge the issue like that.
“And what, pray tell, is THAT supposed to mean?” She spat, voice laced with venom.
It had the desired effect. Hikari was taken aback, and while Agnea felt bad for freaking him out like this she wasn’t going to just let him leave. “You have friends. No, a family! And you’re just going to toss them aside because ‘its complicated!?!’”
Hikari composed himself. “You don’t understand.”
“No! I don’t! So tell me! If you have something to say, SAY IT.”
“You wouldn’t get it.”
“Yes, I would! Look, I know you care about all of us. So why-”
“AND THAT’S WHY I HAVE TO LEAVE!”
It was Agnea’s turn to be shocked. She looked closely at his face. He was on the verge of tears, that much was obvious. It hurt to see Hikari like that, but there was something else. Like he was paying attention to something else.
She had seen this look before, but couldn’t figure out what it was. Now, with Hikari vulnerable like Agnea had never seen before, she saw a little deeper. Hikari looked as though he was trying to ignore something… or someone.
“...what is it that haunts you?”
His breathing hitched.
Bullseye.
“Please… tell me so I can help you.”
Hikari looked at the ground. Then at her. Then at the ground again. “...there’s nothing you can do.” He began to walk towards her. “There is… a beast living within me. In my weakest moments, it calls for blood. It doesn’t care who it belongs to. Friend, foe…” he steps closer. His eyes are full of despair. “It doesn’t care. I have been able to hold it back for now, but it’s getting stronger. At some point, it will have control of me.” He’s only a few inches away from her now.
“Hikari-”
“A-as long as I am around you…” His voice is wavering. He doesn’t want to leave. “... I pose a threat to you. Th-The only way to keep you safe…” He breathes in. “Is to leave you and never come back.”
They stare at each other for what feels like an eternity. How long has Hikari been carrying this weight? Agnea wants to vomit. And why didn’t I see it?
Hikari closes his eyes. A futile attempt to hide the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He opens them again and looks at Agnea.
“Goodbye, my friend.” Hikari’s voice was barely a whisper.
He begins to walk past her.
And in his heart, Agnea can see a light fading.
His hope.
So she did what she set out to do. Bring hope to people's lives.
She steps in front of Hikari, grabs his shoulders, and pulls him into a kiss.
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Hikari had always kept himself at a short distance from the other travelers.
He knew that he was a danger, but in the beginning, he believed he could keep the beast in check. But as it got stronger, he began to worry. Leading to where he was now.
But he never expected it to make him so sad. So lonely.
He had always managed to hold himself together to some degree, but no matter how much of a tough front he put up, he was always a single slip away from breaking. But he held it together.
Then Agnea kissed him.
You are not alone.
The dam broke.
Hikari’s knees buckled. Tears began to stream down his face. He wrapped his arms around Agnea, desperate to hold onto her. He couldn’t hold himself up anymore, and both of them fell to their knees. The impact hurt, but Hikari didn’t care. He just wanted to say something. Anything . But no words could escape his lips. Just sobs and gasps. He held Agnea tighter, their heads over each other's shoulders. Hikari couldn’t see it, but Agnea was crying now as well. Just… not for the same reason.
“Ag- huh… I-”
“Shh. I know. It’s okay.” She began stroking the back of his head.
To be cared for like this, to be held … Hikari didn’t know how much he had longed for it. All of the pain he had been bottling up was now erupting out of him and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He wailed, and Agnea stayed with him, refusing to let go until he had let it all out.
To Hikari, Agnea was a treasure. And he felt like a fool for thinking he could ever let her go.