Chapter Text
There were three broken nails, one finger was missing a nail and was bleeding profusely, despite attempts to bandage it with the last bit of cloth he had. The cloth eventually got soaked and he had to take it off.
But the biggest wound was located on his chest, where an arrow had been lodged for over a week. There was pus all over the wound, indicating it had become infected, but he couldn't get it out without bleeding to death. So, he left it there, he cut the shaft of the arrow carefully and bandaged the place, in a way, he was just hastening death.
However, despite the bodily wounds, the worst and deepest wound was in the man's head: he couldn't even remember his own name, and because of that, he was wandering through the forest in search of some answer, but all he found was thousands of feet covered in foliage and plants that glowed in the dark.
He ventured to climb a tall tree, but only lost his nails trying to succeed. The man didn't know how he had ended up in that forest, let alone how he had gotten all those injuries, he didn't even have a memory, he was an empty body and ready to be molded. The memories about language were gone, he didn't have a thought for words, they were always pictures and sounds.
Eventually, when he stopped to sit down again, he paid attention to himself.
He had blue hands and a pointy ear and for some reason, that meant nothing to him. He was totally fine with that version of himself, because to him, he was never different. He had also noticed that the wounds were getting worse with each passing second.
The man gently pulled the cloth that covered his chest, only to see that the wound was on the same path: The flesh around the wound was turning purple, the blood was congealed around the arrow and the wound was trying to heal around the arrow which caused more pain. The man decided to remove the arrowhead right then and there.
He held what was left of the shaft of the arrow in one hand and pulled, blood spurted immediately, and the man threw the rest of the arrow to the ground to put pressure on the wound. He plucked the closest leaf to him and pressed it against the wound, he had nothing to wrap around his chest. But he had an idea, he still had the hair that protected the strange member that grew at the back of his head, he still hadn't figured out what it was for.
The man undid the braid and pulled the hair, the strands came out in his hand and the man tried to tie it around his chest, trying to put pressure on the wound. But it didn't work out, because the pressure wasn't enough. And now he had no more hair, and he was still bleeding, and with all the blood he had lost, the man sat in place, not moving so as not to pass out.
He thought as he sat, what he was then, and what he was now. If there were others like him and if he was alone in this forest where he survived only by pure instinct. He knew which fruits were good to eat just by looking at the color and he knew how to tend to wound as if he'd been doing it his whole life. Who was he? what he was?
The blood drew the attention of a forest beast, which approached the man with curiosity, he did not move and appeared to be dead, so the animal was not frightened by him.
The man watched as the animal approached him, it was a bipedal animal and had three thin lines made of skin on each side of its head. The man was almost dead, but with all his energy, he waited for the animal to get closer to attack. Those lines made of skin could serve as sutures, and he could sew up the chest wound.
The animal got close enough, craning its long neck to sniff what it thought was a corpse, and the man quickly got to his feet, pulling the animal's neck down.
The animal struggled making desperate sounds and the man climbed on top of his body, the animal opened its huge mouth, but it didn't bite or hurt him, it was just to signal that it was hurting. However, the man had already picked up a stone and was hitting the animal with all the strength he still had.
The animal struggled, but with the pelting it received incessantly on the head, it eventually went limp and fell lifeless to the forest floor.
The man got off the animal, and remorsefully ripped the line of skin from its head indelicately, as he was desperate for the bleeding from his chest to stop.
The man leaned against a tree and tried to sew the wound with it, it was difficult to penetrate the skin, but at that moment he felt no pain, despite his hands were trembling. He jabbed the line into the skin several times in a pattern he didn't know he knew, but after a few tries the bleeding finally stopped.
At that moment he was exhausted, so when he finished, he fell backwards on the forest floor, in the mud that had formed, as it had rained a few hours before.
And nothing would wake him up for a few hours.
There was a dead Tspìng by the river.
A death not clean.
She was a long way from home.
The animal was not hunted by the Na’vi, on the contrary, it was docile, and some children liked to play with them, that's what she knew when she still lived in a clan.
She couldn't track who did this to Tspìng as it had rained since its death, and all tracks were covered by freshly fallen leaves and footprints from other animals.
The animal's body was already rotting, so she deduced that it had been dead for at least five days or a week.
Avarin was far from home. And she would come back as soon as possible.
The only problem was that her house was too far from any body of water, and when the rain was slow to arrive, she had to travel to the river, which was about two months away from her house. She decided to go get water, but when she got to the river, Eywa decided that the rain would fall at that moment, and that didn't anger Avarin, this place was too far from where she lived, so there was no guarantee that it had rained on the piece of land she lived in.
Avarin was an outcast, she was originally from a clan of the dense forest, far from other clans and who had no connection with others. And with the arrival of the sky people, the clan became more rigid, and one mistake was enough to exile.
Avarin prayed for Tspìng and lamented that none of its rotten body could be used before she turned and sailed through the dense forest once again.
The man walked for a few more days, and when he reached a fallen tree, he decided to fall like it.
The sun was shining so brightly that it was beautiful to see the forest at that time.
There were leaves of all sizes and animals of all colors transiting through the biodiversity of that soil. The tree that fell was not dead, there were branches growing from its trunk, they were small branches which insinuated that this tree had fallen for a very short time. The days were easier than the nights, at night the nocturnal animals came to disturb man's life, who was already tired of waging battles against them.
The man has learned to go unnoticed by these animals. Usually, the smaller animals would look at him and ignore him, but the larger ones were more territorial and angrier, with a strength that could knock him down without him being able to react.
The good news was that the forest seemed to swallow him, he was seen as native. He wondered if he lived in the woods before this, he knew he had a life before this. For after the bleeding was being stopped, he obtained pieces of previous memories. The strange thing was that not one memory contained the forest, these memories showed him colored flashes and gray walls, nothing like the forest.
He was hungry, and thirsty. His last meal was raw meat from the animal he had killed and the last thing he drank was rainwater.
He leaned on the fallen trunk of the tree, and stood up looking around, looking for a fruit tree.
The man stopped touching the tree trunk for support and started to support himself on both legs, touching the wound on his chest which had improved significantly but was still irritated, there were signs of infection he was trying to ignore, and his fingernails were finally growing back.
The man walked past the trunk and started walking again.
He had been doing this for some time now, and he knew he was alone, he hadn't seen anything but plants for all this time, maybe it would be a good idea to try to situate himself somewhere, where there was water and food, at least until he waited for the wounds to heal completely. But the man continued to walk.
He knew how to outwit predators and he knew how to jump from vines to trees, he had taught himself how to make a knife, grinding one stone on another until it could be sharp. These objects he created without knowing how, knife and bag, which he had made from dried leaves he found on the forest floor. It was muscle memory, he knew how to do it, but he didn't know how he learned it. The man used the knife to cut plants that were on the path and fruits that he found and used the bag to transport them.
The ground wasn't wet anymore, but the earth stained his feet just the same, he left footprints and didn't cover them.
The man walked for a few more hours, knife in one hand and bag in the other.
He saw an animal get tangled up in a log and fall.
A plant shrinks when he got close enough.
And when he was finally getting close to a fruit tree, he saw that the eclipse was approaching once more.
The man was happy when he found food, but an arrow pierced his shoulder before he could reach the delicious fruit.
“Fyape fko syaw ngar?” What is your name? Avarin tried to maintain communication with the forest demon.
The man was very close to her home, and Avarin faced an internal struggle before taking him to her residence.
Avarin's house was made inside a tree trunk, dug by herself, she created a house from scratch, collecting all materials from the forest and using them for her own benefit. The hole didn't make the tree fall, the trunk was too wide for that, it was an old tree, similar to the Omaticaya tree that died a few weeks ago. However, Avarin was unconcerned, she didn't even know that a war between the humans and the Na'vi had been fought a few weeks ago.
Avarin slept in the highest branch of the tree, where she had a good view, it was the perfect place to tie a hammock. However, at this moment, she was sleeping on the lowest branch, watching over the man who was still unconscious. She was suspicious, she learned to be. And that man was a long way from home, a long way from the trees that have burned to death since the stars descended to earth. Avarin knew who he was, he was an Ayuníltíranyu. dreamwalker.
That was the word she didn't know the meaning of. It was a word she had heard while still residing with the clan. She didn't know that there were artificial bodies that could be controlled remotely, but she did know that humans had mixed with the Omaticaya and that the fruit of that alliance were creatures just like this man: More fingers on their hands, strange feet and that they grew hair where they shouldn't.
Avarin looked every corner of the man before bringing him home, the man was seriously injured, and the arrow she shot at him almost killed him, Avarin watched the man struggle on the ground, trying to get up and then staying dangerously static on the ground. Avarin should have let him die, but how could she? She was a healer after all, that's what she always was. But Avarin doubted the man would recover from his wounds, so Avarin took him to her home: After all, in this condition, even a docile animal was more dangerous.
On the first day, Avarin undid the strange seam the man had made in the chest wound. The wound was no longer bleeding, but it oozed a yellowish discharge and was a much worse sign than blood. She gave him Ar'lek Seed, a plant with incredible healing power, but was difficult to find naturally, which is why Avarin cultivated this plant. Avarin noticed several bruises, the man's head was without hair, it looked torn off. She tended to the missing fingernails, pausing to stare at the man's hand, which was so different from her own.
Avarin tended to the unconscious man for days, but the man hadn't woken up or moved in all the hours he'd spent lying there.
When it rained again, Avarin went to tend to the water reservoir she had built and when she returned, the man was awake, sitting up and watching her house with wide eyes.
Avarin hissed and the man glared at the woman, Avarin moved into an attacking position, waiting for the attack the man would deliver, but the attack never came.
The man touched his chest, seeing the improvement, the wound didn't hurt that much.
“Nga za‘u ftu peseng?" Where do you come from? She said, but the man didn't understand, and shook his head trying to communicate. Avarin approached, drawing the knife from her waist, “Nga za‘u ftu peseng?" she tried again, but realized the man didn't understand her.
The man tried to speak, but only strange weeping sounds came out of his throat, and he fell silent, was it possible that the man didn't know how to speak?
The first time she dared touch the man was a week later.
The two were coexisting in the space, the man didn't say anything or try to communicate with her, and she eventually grew tired of his silence. She decided to teach him some words, since he was still recovering and did nothing to help her maintain the space they lived in.
Avarin came close to the man, and he didn't move, he spent most of the time sitting and looking at the horizon.
“Kaltxì." She said, sitting down next to him, “Kaltxì." hello. She said once more, looking directly at the man who sat across from her.
Avarin gestured with her hand, touching her throat, indicating that she would like him to try as well, “Plltxe.” Speak.
The man looked at her once more, uncertainly. Avarin scratched her head thoughtfully and tried again: “Kaltxì.” She said touching her own throat and then depositing her hand on his throat, slowly.
The man understood when she did that and tried to speak for the first time: "Caw..." but he pronounced it wrong, and the voice failed.
It was like trying to teach a child, except this person was older, probably older than she was. But she didn't give up, “Kaltxì. Kalt, K-A-L-T." She spelled it out and pointed at him, indicating it was his turn to speak.
“Kalt…” Avarin's ears pricked up when she heard him say the first syllables correctly, she smiled slightly and said the remaining syllables: “xì.”
The man touched his own throat and said, “i.”
Avarin looked away, how could someone mispronounce words so fervently? Even infants didn't talk like that.
“Kehe.” No. She said in frustration, the sound at the end of that word it had to be coming from within, a part deeper than the throat. Avarin tried one more time: “Kalt...” And she pointed at him.
“Kalt.” The man said it right once more, but before he could try to say the rest, Avarin put a finger on his chest and slid it down to the middle of his throat, “xì.” she repeated, making the most exaggerated facial expression she could so he could understand.
The man looked at her thoughtfully and after a few moments said: “Kaltxì!” the word came huskily from the man's mouth, but Avarin smiled, it was the first thing he'd said to her.
“Kaltxì.” Hello. She told him back. The man looked happy to have learned a word.
The man eventually learned enough words so he could communicate with her. He'd never left her side since he'd been saved, but she didn't care, it was nice to have someone to share the time with.
The man's name was a secret for a long time, it seemed like even he didn't know.
Avarin noticed the man's personality as he became more confident with himself: He was impatient, didn't like to learn patient laws and didn't like living in the monotony she lived.
"Hey!" Avarin called him, he was tired of sleeping inside the tree trunk and she had promised that they would set up a hammock for him on the same branch her hammock was on, but she would only do it after they went hunting and caught something.
Avarin found that the man was an exceptionally good cook, he used dried plants as spices and usually everything was delicious, but she also learned that the man liked eating meat much more than fruits and vegetables, so she took him hunting once a week. However, there were weeks when they couldn't catch anything and the man normally didn't get angry, he was content with what he had, but after that promise from Avarin, the man desperately wanted to catch something, so he could set the hammock as soon as possible, As fast as possible.
He tried to explain to Avarin that the promise she made was nonsense, and that they could set the hammock before hunting something, but Avarin believed that all the things had their time and that she would only set the hammock when they successfully hunted something.
The man looked at Avarin as she called out, "It's time, let's go."
The man got up from where he was quickly, adjusted the knife that was attached to the hem of his loincloth and walked over to Avarin, who was holding her bow and arrow.
Avarin's arrows didn't have a pattern, she liked to paint the tips blue and green, making lots of different patterns.
During the previous hunts, the man scared the smaller animals, but went unnoticed by the bigger ones and that was all she didn't want: If they hunted the bigger animals, only a little of their meat would be used and the rest would rot, which didn't happen with the smaller animals, as there was time for them to enjoy all their meat.
The two left the house, the man was in a hurry, but not Avarin.
She walked them far enough away, being careful not to make any noise.
"Here." Avarin said, "Down with me." The man did, and the two were crouched down.
The man glanced quickly over the territory she made him stop and angrily said, "There's nothing here!"
Avarin breathed in through her nostrils and let it out through her mouth, almost like a hiss, and said angrily, “Pay attention! This is the way of the little animals! Look at the footprints! They will pass.”
The man rolled his eyes, "And we're going to wait?"
"Yes." Avarin heard the man sigh, but she didn't care, she continued to watch the path.
Suddenly, they heard a noise behind the trees and instead of a small animal, a Hexapede appeared. They were beautiful, their skin was blue with white markings, Avarin saw their carcasses when warriors could finally grow from children to adults, that was the ritual, these animals were so beautiful that Avarin hated to see them dead, even when she was with the clan, she would never kill one of them.
But the man would kill.
Avarin realized too late, the man unpacked the knife and rushed at the animal.
"Stop!" She tried to pull the man back, but she could only feel the tip of the man's tail as he ran.
The Yerik ran from the man and when it got to a significate distance, he tried to go after the man, who dodged and managed to hurt the animal with a glancing stab, the Yerik grunted in pain and tried to runway from the man.
Avarin came out of hiding and ran to the man, holding his hand tightly, making him stop.
The Yerik hurried away from them, and Avarin angrily released the man's hand.
“Skxawng!”
"Why did you do that?" he asked irritably. And at the man's audacity, she was angry for the first time in years.
"You are a child! You disobey orders! We hunt the little ones! Not the big ones!”
"Why?" he almost yelled at her, and she pushed him, right into his nearly healed wound, she did it on purpose, so he would feel pain and learn.
"Because it's the balance!" Avarin spoke pulling the knife from his hand, “We can't use all his meat, it's useless! It will fester, and Eywa does not bless this behavior.”
“Eywa?” the man asked, and then Avarin noticed.
He didn't know the laws of Eywa. Who was that man? So, uninformed with nature and its laws?
Avarin looked at the man still angrily, and pulled his arm, indicating that they should go home. The hunt was over and Avarin would not build his hammock today, he had disobeyed every order she had asked him to follow.
On the way home, Avarin walked briskly, glancing at the man every few seconds to see if he was walking close to her.
This man was strange, the strangest person she had ever met. He was strange, kind of ugly, and he still spoke the words she taught him strangely. He was fascinating, the way he knew nothing about life in the forest and didn't even know his own name, Avarin wondered how he managed to survive so long in the forest? Why was there no one behind this man? He clearly belonged to the sky people. There were so many questions and so much she would have to teach him, but mostly she would teach him about Eywa.
Eywa brought him to her, that's what Avarin thought. And then Avarin would lead him to Eywa.
Some time ago, while she was discovering this part of the forest, Avarin discovered a cave that never went dark. There were several small trees in that cave, lighting up forever, Avarin had discovered another way to communicate with Eywa.
This cave was the reason she stayed in this part of the forest, even if the water was scarce here.
This way was different from the clan way, the tree is a point of extreme spiritual significance to the Na'vi, but those trees made her see things, made her feel closer to Eywa than ever before. And walking with this strange man, Avarin noticed that he needed a spiritual point and that perhaps the tree would remind him of something.
When they got to the house, Avarin ordered the man to just drop the knife and follow her. Avarin also left the bow at home.
During the journey, she knew he was angry, they had already walked enough that day and she was making him walk more, but Avarin kept her head up.
It was almost eclipse, and the man knew that Avarin didn't like to go out when it was dark, so he politely called out to her, "Avarin, it's almost eclipse."
Avarin looked back, they were almost there.
"Yes, I know."
“It will get dark soon.”
“Not where we are going.”
The man fell silent, Avarin knew he had questions by the way his face set, but he decided to remain silent anyway.
Avarin noticed the entrance to the cave, it was so narrow that she knew a large animal would never pass through it. She ran to the entrance, squeezing between the stones.
“Avarin?” She heard the man ask, "What are you doing?"
Avarin disappeared from the man's field of vision, but he heard her say, "Copy me."
Avarin entered the cave and felt all the heat that the trees gave off, she smiled, seeing the bioluminescence of the leaves different from all the others: these leaves glowed, the branches had bright spots. It wasn't just one tree, there were several, all equally special and beautiful.
While Avarin admired Eywa's omnipresent appearance, the man had entered the cave as well. Avarin didn't even notice that he had cut himself on one of the rocks as he tried to get through the narrow path.
Avarin heard the man approach her, and she turned to him with a smile he had never seen before, she was happy here.
“Yeah, it really won’t get dark.” He said to himself while looking at the ground, Avarin held his hand.
“Come on, this way.” She spoke.
Avarin knew that all trees had the same power, but she took him to the tree she liked the most: The only one with a crooked trunk, this tree grows between one stone and another. Avarin let go of his hand and touched his queue. He saw that he was startled by her touch.
Avarin smiled and pulled out her own queue, saying, "We are going to perform Tsaheylu."
She pulled the man and had him hold his queue, "Connect with the tree, as I will."
The man looked at her with wide eyes, but she ignored him and walked to the front of the tree, performing Tsaheylu first.
Avarin was left totally vulnerable to the outside world, all she felt was Eywa.
Eywa around, on top of her and inside her.
Eywa was like a mother, who took her in when her clan didn't, she owed everything to Eywa.
“Ma Sa'nok
A kelku si mì fra'u
Kivame Ngati
Ziva'u koren Ngeyä
Hasey sivi tìkanit Ngeyä
nìtengfya fratseng
Teswotìng ayoeru tìflänga'a sätaronit
Ulte tìng txoat kxeyeyri ayoeyä.”
That day, Avarin learned that the strange man had a name: His name was Miles.
Miles never left Avarin.
They'd lived together for a long time, long enough for Miles's hair to grow back and Avarin couldn't remember a day when Miles wasn't there to help her.
Miles made significant changes to the house, and now Avarin had twice as many objects in the house: Miles carved a bow for himself and had Avarin teach him. Miles was a learner who grasped new information with ferocity, and that meant that he could learn faster than she herself learned. However, Miles never managed to shoot arrows with the same precision and dexterity as Avarin, just as Avarin was never going to be better than him at knife fighting. Both had special talents.
One of Avarin's talents was braiding hair, but Miles didn't have enough hair to braid when she found him, so for a long time, Avarin just busied herself with braiding her own hair.
She enjoyed making ornaments herself, she spent a good deal of time shaping the wood with a knife to do so.
Avarin's hair was as black as a Palulukan's skin, which contrasted with the yellow eyes she had.
Avarin gathered the hair ornaments in a bowl, and climbed to the highest branch of the tree, it was already eclipse, and Avarin loved to look at the stars while she did something.
The hammocks were tied to the highest branch, and as she climbed, she was sure Miles was already asleep. Avarin went upstairs silently, careful not to wake Miles, who was sleeping in a hammock next to hers. However, when she got there, she noticed that Miles wasn't sleeping, but was looking at the sky, the same way she did when she was thoughtful.
“Miles!” Avarin called out to him, but he didn't hear, so she walked over to his hammock and nudged him.
Miles when came out of the trance he made a funny face, so Avarin smiled when she saw, "What are you doing?"
Miles looked back at the stars and said, "It's beautiful up here."
Avarin nodded in agreement, and looked back at Miles, who was looking at the sky again, and that's when Avarin noticed: she had never braided his hair, she only braided his queue, for protection. Miles's hair was tied back in two thick braids he'd made himself, probably mimicking the braid she'd done to protect his queue, as he didn't know how to braid that part of his hair. Avarin looked at the bowl of hair ornaments and then at Miles, deciding that she would braid his hair now.
Avarin entered the hammock, “What are you doing?” Miles asked, as she had never joined his hammock after the day she helped him install it.
“I will braid your hair today.” Avarin said, "Sit down now." Miles was lying down, but soon sat up, Avarin did the same, sitting behind him, putting the bowl in her lap and then going to work on his hair.
For a moment, Miles was silent, but Avarin knew he was going to say something, he was never silent for too long around her.
“Where did you learn to do this?” Miles asked, pointing to his own hair, which Avarin was trying to untangle.
“My sister taught me while I was in the village.”
Miles tried to look at her, but Avarin turned his head with one hand so he could look straight ahead, and she could work better, "Do you have a sister?"
Avarin began to separate strands of hair, “I had.”
"Hmm." Miles murmured as if he was letting her know he was thinking about it.
Avarin never spoke about her life before the forest, and sometimes it seemed that she had forgotten it just like Miles, however, Miles knew that was not true, because over time he had heard stories about the ancient clan she belonged. But she never talked about her personal life, she only talked about how it was being part of a village.
Avarin belonged to Clan Tipani, a clan that lived isolated in the forest until the arrival of the sky people, which is when they needed to make alliances with other neighboring clans to ensure their safety. Avarin said that her clan was focused on warriors and that almost everyone had a great ambition to fight Pandora's intruders. Once, Miles asked why they hide then, why so many warriors, if there isn't even a war for them to fight? And Avarin replied: "We used to fight each other, but now there are greater forces, and we must join with the others."
Avarin started braiding sooner than she expected, she thought she would need to untangle his hair first, but the two braids did the favor to protect from tangling.
As she braided, she thought about her sister. It was the first time in weeks that she had thought of Sevineya. “She was beautiful, you know?”
"Who?" Miles asked, interested in the conversation.
“Sevineya, my sister.” Miles was surprised that she was talking about something so personal, so he kept quiet so she could say more: "She was betrothed to the next Olo'eyktan... And she liked to venture into the forest."
And then anger took hold of her body, and with bitter words she said: "But she was so stupid!" Avarin tugged hard on Miles's hairline.
“Avarin! ”
"Sorry."
Avarin returned to braiding deftly.
“What is an Olo’eytan?” He already knew what it was, but he wanted to change the subject as he felt Avarin was too angry to think about her sister right now.
“It's the next leader of the clan. The leader who guides our people, but we also need a Tsahìk , to guide the people in spirituality, she is our strongest point among Eywa. Neya' was going to be one, that's why she was chosen, she had strong faith... she could spend hours revering the great mother without even getting tired."
Miles failed to get Avarin's thoughts out of memories of her sister, but it seemed she wasn't angry anymore.
"Where is she now?"
Avarin didn't stop braiding Miles's hair when she said, “Dead. She died because of the men of the sky.”
"I'm sorry."
“Why do you apologize? If it wasn't your fault? She died because of her own curiosity.”
Miles looked down at his hands, noticing the extra fingers.
"You are one of them." Avarin said, but she didn't say it with hate or sadness, it was more of a statement, which Miles already knew, Avarin had explained this to him since his first connection with Eywa. Which was when he started remembering words in his native language. “But you are different.”
"How?" Miles asked, making a fist with his hands trying to hide the extra fingers. "I don't remember being one of them, Avarin, I only remember the principles."
It was true, Miles only remembered the principles, where it was permissible to kill and devastate the forest for one's own benefit. Avarin made sure he learned how to behave in the forest and how to treat himself and the animals around him. But it wasn't all bad, Miles became more loyal when he remembered more about himself, he was brave and fearless, he walked among animals bigger than him without being noticed, he knew how to leave no traces even with Avarin not teaching him that and lastly, he was a fiery person. And he slept very little, too.
“I thought my sister was an idiot for having so much faith. I didn't see Eywa as her, but you, Miles, you embraced Eywa the first moment she was introduced to you. You weren't born here, but you did what I couldn't for a long time.” Avarin said, finishing braiding half of his head. She had nimble fingers, now she was looking for a decoration to put in his braid. “But you remember your principles, Eywa insisted on showing you.”
“It's not true, you know? I didn't accept Eywa the first time I connect with her.”
Avarin sighed in surprise: “Why not?”
“I felt like I was betraying something that wasn't me.”
Avarin stopped braiding his hair for a few seconds and Miles tried to turn around again to speak face to face with her, this time, Avarin let him do it.
“That doesn't make any sense, Miles.” Avarin said, tilting her head slightly to the side as she said.
"It does for me."
Miles laughed mischievously and said, "Weren't you the one who didn't believe in Eywa?" he knew it would piss her off.
Avarin smacked him on the head with one hand and he looked straight ahead again, laughing when he heard her breathe in through her nose and let out a hiss through her mouth, the way she did when she was irritated.
"I never said that! I just didn't understand the way Neya' and my clan did."
"Oh, yes? Where are they now?" Miles asked, knowing Avarin wouldn't respond, she'd already shared enough for one night.
"That's another tale, I won't tell you today."
“I wanted Eywa to remind me of my old life, so I could tell tales too.”
“Eywa showed you what you need, nothing more and nothing less.” Avarin said, finishing braiding the last braid of Miles's hair. She hadn't braided his hair in small braids, she had braided into larger ones so that she could finish it sooner and enjoy the rest of the eclipse before it all became clear again.
"It is ready." Avarin said and Miles ran his hands through his hair, feeling the braids.
“Thank you, Avarin.” He said, getting up, "Stay here, I have something for you." Miles said and disappeared from her field of vision, but returned a few moments later, with a wooden thing in his hand.
He sat across from her this time, "Here."
"What is that?" She said picking up the object.
It was a small thing made of wood, the thing had a small body and four wings, it was well made and Avarin knew he had been working on it for a while.
“it's one of the things you put in your hair.”
"But it's too big to put in a braid."
“It serves to hold several braids at once.”
Avarin looked at the object again, "What is it?"
"It's an animal."
"But, um, I've never seen one like this before."
“I see it in my dreams.” Miles said quietly, it was beautiful, she would certainly wear it.
Miles made a wooden dragonfly, not knowing what it was.
“It's beautiful, thank you, Miles.”
“Oeru meuia, Loving.” My pleasure, it's an honor.
“Loving?” Avarin asked.
“It means love in my language”
Ah, he should have remembered another word.
In fact, he remembered, but he got it confused, he meant “Love.” and not “Loving.”.
“Why don't you call me Loving back?” Miles asked as they ate.
Avarin glanced at him from the corner of her eye, placing Fawmpop's bowl of meat on the floor.
“Do I need to call you back?” She asked, looking directly at Miles.
“No, but it's fine, but you just call me Miles.”
“Yes, your name is Miles.” Avarin said, not understanding the reason for this conversation.
“But this is a way of calling others affectionately.”
“Affectionately?”
"Yes."
Avarin's eyes widened in confusion.
"It makes no sense."
Miles shrugged, "yeah, it doesn't."
“How does it not make sense to you?”
Miles had just stuffed a piece of meat into his mouth, so he just replied, "What?" mouth full.
“You wanted me to call you that, how does it not make sense to you?”
Miles sighed, swallowing his food and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, "I don't know, I think it's a sky people thing."
“Huh.”
But Miles was unfazed by this conversation, and every opportunity he got he called her “Loving.” It was strange that unknown word in the middle of the Na'vi vocabulary, but Avarin didn't complain, if it would make him happy, so was she.
Avarin thought more about it, the meaning is not ugly, on the contrary, it was like he was calling her love every day. It was nice of him, but she would never say that.
It was too humiliating, and besides, the sonography of the word was horrendous.
Avarin gathered the materials from the floor: She was working on a new necklace for herself, this one would have purple beads and orange feathers. Avarin collected the semi-finished necklace and deposited it inside a box, leaving the hollow trunk of the tree and going to meet Miles, who was working on cutting all the leather from a Fawmpop to make fabric.
“Avarin, can you hand me that knife?” He said pointing to a knife with a green handle, which he had recently made himself, and therefore it was the sharpest they had.
Avarin took the knife and passed it to him, “Thank you, Loving.”
Avarin didn't even realize what he had called her, she was already used to it. So, she started watching him, that's what she came to do after all. She enjoyed watching him work.
“Lovin’?”
"What?" She asked, thinking he was going to ask for help with the work he was doing.
“What will I have to do for you to call me Loving back?” Miles said stopping what he was doing to look at her.
Avarin laughed, and he smiled. “Only when you manage to tame a Palulukan.” She said jokingly.
Miles arched his eyebrows and widened his eyes. Avarin laughed at that and walked off to do something else.
She knew that taming a Palulukan was difficult, only the greatest warriors in her old village could do it. Avarin really didn't think Miles would do that just to impress her, but when he came back from a simple hunt on top of a Palulukan , with a missing finger and another bite on his leg, she knew he would do anything for her.
He would do anything for her respect, as if he had something to prove not only to her, but to himself. Avarin despaired when the animal arrived at their house, she had not seen Miles on top of him and shot an arrow at the animal, which it deflected.
When Palulukan turned away, she was able to see Miles on its back, he was completely out of breath, but he smiled when he saw her, a smile that said, "See?" Avarin saw that the animal did not have a wound, which would mean that Miles had not tried to hurt it to tame it, he did with respect and affection to Eywa, as she said it had to be.
Miles undid Tsaheylu, and walked towards her.
She was surprised, standing still watching him.
“Oh Miles.” She said pulling his hand, he had lost a finger trying to do that, if she had known he was really going to do the challenge, she would have chosen something easier. “Come on, I’m going to suture that.”
“I did it, Loving." He whispered to her, and she didn't let go of his hand, at that moment it was also covered in blood.
Avarin was cruelly worried about his health now, yet he didn't seem to care. It was as if he was a soldier who had fought three thousand wars before arriving there.
Avarin rarely asked herself that question now, because she knew the answer: He was her only and dearest friend, the most interesting person she had ever met, and a great listener, but she had to ask herself now: Who is this man?
Avarin smiled, “Yes you did, Lov-yn.” The word came out different when she said it, but he didn't seem to mind, because he laughed anyway, and said, "You called me Lovin'!"
“I did.” Avarin responded, pulling him to tend to treat the wounds he acquired.
Miles now only had one extra finger in his hands, it was like he transformed every minute he spent in the forest, it was like he transformed into one of them. However, for Avarin, he has always been one of the people since the first communication with Eywa.
Humans often say that what's good lasts little, while being human, Miles faithfully believed that. If there was always something interesting, something went wrong.
It was Murphy's law; humans even had a name for this phenomenon.
For example: The attack against the Na'vi, the plan worked perfectly until Eywa intervened, they were winning by a long way and then Eywa heard Jake Sully plead for help.
Miles no longer remembered these events, but that doesn't mean the others forgot.
For Jake Sully, it was a mystery. He had contacted every clan nearby and not one of them had heard about Quaritch, so he thought he would find the colonel's body somewhere in the forest. But that's not what happened, he was still missing. And over time, Jake's worry took a backseat to the corner of his brain, which was occupied with other things, like Neteyam, Kiri, and newborn baby Lo'ak, who needed his care and attention.
But Jake Sully never forgot.
Miles Quaritch on the other hand, only remembered the forest.
"Let's go!" He called Avarin to accompany his paces, she was tired that day, but still insisted on getting up to go to the cave, even though Miles said it was fine if they didn’t go today.
“You should have stayed home and rested.” Miles said worriedly, holding a leaf that was in the way so she could pass without ducking.
Miles knew his surroundings like the back of his hand now. He had it all mapped out in his head, like a mind map. Avarin took advantage of this, he guided her through shorter, but more dangerous paths, like the one they were going through now.
Generally, they would take the longer path, which had no chance of them meeting a Palulukan, than this one, which was the path those animals passed daily. Even though Miles had tamed one, that didn't mean the others were as peaceful with them as Cupcake was.
Avarin thought it was a horrible name, Cupcake , but Miles thought it was funny, and when she asked him what it meant, he said he didn't know and just thought it was a funny word to say.
“You should try to tame one too.”
Avarin shook her head, “No.”
Miles was silent, as it wasn't the first time, he tried to convince her to tame a Palulukan.
Avarin kept walking, it wasn't an eclipse, but they wanted to talk to Eywa that day. The two hadn't been to the cave for a while, and Avarin started to get irritated, that was her peace, she couldn't live without worshiping the great mother.
Miles just liked the feeling of comfort and embrace he had when the two went to the cave together, it was as if they were in sync with life. In Avarin's view, it was love.
Miles walked in front of Avarin, to guide her and remove any animal they found ahead, he arrived at the cave entrance, but stopped abruptly, stretching an arm for Avarin to also stop.
“What happened? Lo-vyn?” Avarin asked quietly and Miles looked at her with wide eyes, raising the hand that had lost the finger and pointing to the cave entrance.
There were two men, just like them, standing in front of the cave, both talking quickly, as if they were fighting. In fact, looking closely, they weren't men, they were boys, they were smaller than Miles and Avarin.
Miles felt Avarin's breathing quicken, and she said in a trembling voice, "They are warriors."
Miles took his eyes off the boys to look at her, "From your tribe?"
Avarin's yellow eyes widened, and she gripped Miles's hand tightly, "No." She pulled him away saying, "We have to go, they're going too."
“Avarin—” Miles tried to call her, he glanced quickly at the cave entrance, and the boys were no longer there.
“Shhh!" He said, it was more of an order than a warning.
Miles thought about the possibilities, they didn't have their weapons here, they never took them with them to worship Eywa, And those boys were armed with knives stuck to their bodies, one was tied on the back of boy number one and the other knife was stuck in the thigh of the boy number two, both had bows and arrows in their hands. That was all Miles could see before they disappeared.
Avarin stayed quiet, crouched holding Miles' hand, he didn't understand her fear, she was also raised to be a warrior. Miles looked at the cave entrance, and they weren't there.
“Loving,” He called to her softly, “We're going to turn around and go home now.” He commanded. He didn't want to fight these boys, he didn't know why they were there, but if they left without causing trouble, Miles wouldn't try to find out who they were. "Let's go."
Avarin rose to her feet, wiggling her ears to try to catch any sound the forest made. She was the first to hear the boys' war cry.
“Miles!” She said desperately, and suddenly one of the boys was running towards him, it was the boy with the knife in his thigh. Miles dodged the boy quickly, hitting his elbow on the back of the boy's head as he passed him, the boy fell to the ground, but quickly got up, hissing.
"Stop!" Avarin screamed when she saw the other boy point an arrow at her, they were cornered, one boy was in front of Miles and the other in front of her, while the two had their backs to each other. "Who are you?"
The knife boy faltered in the attack position, leaving the knife in a light grip between his hands, Miles saw an opportunity and advanced on the boy, who screamed when he saw that he was coming at him, they weren't even high-level warriors, judging that they didn't know how to wield a knife properly.
Avarin ran to the side, trying to make sure the arrow boy didn't hit her, and he shot an arrow, but it couldn't hit her, and she ran to hide in the dense woods.
Miles punched the boy in the face, he was immobilized, Miles was on top of him, and he had dropped the knife as one of Miles's knees was pressing his hand to the ground, very hard. The boy roared in pain and Miles heard the other boy scream what sounded like someone's name, probably the name of the boy he was going to kill. Miles spotted a rock to the side, grabbing it with one hand and hitting the boy's skull twice with all his might, Miles could see the boy's internal organs, on the second hit and he went limp, thrown to the ground.
He pulled the dead boy's knife and turned to look at the other boy, but it was too late, he had the arrow ready towards Miles' head, the boy did not hesitate to shoot, and Miles did the same: he did not hesitate to shoot the knife that was in his hand. It was his only defense.
Miles closed his eyes waiting for the arrow to enter his head quickly because they were at a relatively short distance.
But the pain never came, and Miles opened his eyes to Avarin protecting him.
She had stepped in front of him when she saw what the other boy was going to do.
Miles watched her hit the floor, and for a second, everything was silent. A tiny part of him didn't want to see if she was dead or not (out of sight, out of mind.), but he rushed to help the woman, who had been shot in the abdomen.
Miles got up, running to her, he cradled her head in his arms, “Loving?” he called to her softly, but desperately. "Shhh, it’s going to be okay.” he pulled her hands away from the wound hearing her moan in pain, making his heart shatter.
Avarin glanced at his worried face but shifted her gaze to the other boy. Miles had shot the boy through the heart. But he was still writhing on the floor, dying slowly, like her. “Come on, Ava’.”
Ah, that nickname was new.
“Miles.” She called to him raising her hand and pointing to the boy, "Ask him." She spoke slowly. She wanted answers, why are they here?
Miles took his hands from her wound, he hadn't taken the arrow out yet, so she wouldn't bleed even more. Avarin felt him lift her off the ground, "I know, come on, I know it hurts." She must have mumbled something else. "Let's go."
Miles pulled her hard from the ground, and she hugged his neck with one arm, opening her mouth in pain. “Miles, the boy.”
Miles looked at her with hard eyes and said, "I do not care about the boy." angry.
He was angry with her, she couldn't have done that, it was a miracle the arrow didn't go through her body. Miles started to walk fast, but the boy muttered something to him, he said, "Miles Qwa-ritch!" Before he was flat dead on the ground, his eyes were wide open, and his mouth gaped.
Avarin felt Miles stop walking in surprise.
Avarin would have the same concern as him if she were in her right mind: How did this man know his name?
Miles ran with Avarin in his arms, taking the shortest route and not noticing if there were animals in that place. It was an irresponsible action, but justifiable for the despair they both felt at that moment.
During the walking Miles blamed himself for not bringing Cupcake to take them there. They carried him everywhere now; they just didn't take him hunting with them because he scared off all the prey with his big build and huge claws. Miles tortured it in his head. He was sure the boys wouldn't attack them if a Palulukan was present. Every time Avarin moaned in pain Miles walked a little faster, he watched for her wound.
Avarin tried to keep her head up, but she knew she wasn't going to make it home awake, and she also knew that Miles wouldn't train the correct medication without her help, "Miles,"
“Shhhh. Save your energy.” He replied.
“When you arrive, pull out the arrow and bandage the wound, but first clean it with water.” She instructed with her eyes closed. "Then pluck the blue plant and mash its seeds, it's Ar'lek seed." Avarin sighed and continued with her eyes closed.
Miles could already see their house from where he was, "We're almost home, Ava', hold on... Oh no, no." Avarin had already passed out before even hearing the word home, Miles continued running with her on his arm; He deposited her on the floor of the hollow tree they called home.
Miles hit her lightly in the face, to make sure she was unconscious and when he saw that she didn't react, he ran to collect what he needed: Water, fabric and the seeds of Ar'lek, Avarin didn't remember, but she had a pot kept with seeds ready for medicinal use.
Miles stained almost everything with blood while looking for the objects. Even Cupcake got up to see what was going on. Miles nimbly collected everything and went back to tend to Avarin, who was staining the wood with blood.
“Sorry, Lovin’.” He said pulling the arrow gently, but Avarin didn't move or show any signs that she was conscious. Miles threw the arrow away and put water on the wound, as she ordered, he cleaned the wound with mastery and firm hands, and bandaged the wound with all the strength he possessed at that moment. "Okay, you're fine, you just need to eat this now, Avarin please."
He didn't know how she was going to eat that powder, so he mixed it with water and shoved it down her throat, being careful that she didn't choke on the liquid. Normally, that powder would be poured into some soft food so that the person could eat it, but with the person unconscious, healers would usually put a little in the mouth so that it would dissolve with the saliva. Miles had given her more than she needed to, and he prayed that was enough.
Miles looked at Avarin when he finished, "It's okay now." He whispered to her, "You cannot die." He felt dread rise in his chest, "You built this place on your own, I don't deserve the fruit of your efforts."
Miles decided that if she died, he would bury her in that cave, with Eywa. Where she felt happy.
“Without you I don't know where to go or what to do. Please, Ava’.” He pleaded holding her hand, “I need you, please Eywa. Please, great mother, don't leave me alone again. Don’t take her from me.” He felt a tear fall. What was that feeling? He never wanted to feel again. He didn't have Avarin to guide him now, what was that feeling? She was the one who introduced him to his own emotions, she had taught him patience and happiness, but she had never spoken of love.
Miles had to discover that emotion for himself as he stared at Avarin's motionless body.
She wore the necklace with blue stones.
He ran his hand over the scar on her abdomen. The scar still hadn't fully healed, and she knew he blamed himself for the wound she received, even when it was her idea to step in front of that arrow.
Today the trees seemed to glow brighter, but that was probably just the excitement of being here with him.
Avarin brought her forehead together with his, closing her eyes and smirking.
Miles ran his hand through her hair, crawling her head gently with both hands.
Avarin was so happy, she thought she would never have someone to love as intensely as she did now.
Miles opened his eyes, taking his face away from hers for a moment.
The glow from the trees lit her face clearly, and he could see the tears running freely down her cheeks, “Oel ngati kameie, Avarin.” I see you. he said quietly, just for her to hear.
Avarin smiled, placing a hand on his chest to feel his heartbeat. Yes, he is alive' she thought, this is all real.
She smiled at him, “Oel ngati kameie, Miles.” I see you. She says it loudly, so Eywa can hear it too.
Miles put his head on her shoulder, letting her embrace him.
“(Our) Mother!
who live in everything
May Thou be Seen
may thy law come
May Thy desire be done
The same way everywhere
Grant us successful hunt
And forgive us our mistakes.”
She recited it, and it was the same prayer she had sung to him in the first connection with Eywa.
Avarin knew he was getting restless.
He was more agitated, he didn't go a day without looking around the place in search of something out of the ordinary and this behavior was directly affecting his performance in everything he set out to do: He had accidentally hurt himself while cutting pieces of meat, he burned himself at the cookfire, he forgot to store rainwater and because of that they were left without water for almost four days.
Don't get her wrong, she was worried too. She also wanted to know who those boys were and how they knew Miles. However, Avarin was afraid to go looking for answers, what if something went wrong? She concluded that Miles was not welcome in the Omaticaya clan due to the boys' reaction.
Avarin wanted to live in ignorance, but she knew Miles wouldn't stop until he figured something out.
Avarin also knew he was preparing to leave. She knew he would ask her to go with him, and Avarin would even accept, if not for the discovery: There would be a child.
Avarin was sure.
But only she knew, the changes were minimal, and with Miles so clueless about his own reality, she knew he hadn't noticed a thing. The days after the first day of mating were amazing, they were in sync with each other, but after a few weeks, Miles started to come out of the blissful trance and started thinking about the future: He realized he couldn't let that happen again, and that if he was going to stay with Avarin, he would protect her from anything that would hurt her, and he would do so to the letter, even if it meant leaving their home to seek answers.
"Do not say anything." She said when she felt his chest swell for air to talk.
Avarin lay with her head on his chest, eyes closed, feeling the icy breeze. It was an eclipse and the two were lying in the hammock, during the past weeks, Miles had not used his hammock for anything, the two slept intertwined in Avarin's hammock.
“I know what you want to talk about.” Avarin said feeling the hand that caressed her head stop in place.
"Ava'..." Miles sighed and Avarin opened her eyes, adjusting herself in his lap to look at his face.
"You know I'm worried too."
“Not like me.” Miles spoke sitting down and making her sit down too. "You do not understand."
“I don't understand why you don't want to make me understand.” She said, "I've asked you several times why you feel that way, but you refuse to talk."
Miles sighed once more, pulling his hand away from her embrace, making Avarin feel sad with the gesture. It was like he was closing himself completely without her being able to do anything.
“You don't know how I know.”
“Miles—”
"No." He said in a firm tone of voice, "You don't know what it was like waiting for you to come back to life." He meant to come back to consciousness, but sometimes he switched one word for another, it was normal. Avarin's ears pricked back, showing that she was sad, the subject of the conversation made her unhappy. “You don't know what it was like carrying you back here in fear of someone else following us and you don't know how hard it was not knowing if you'd wake up.”
Avarin thought he was exaggerating, after all, he too had been wounded by an arrow and that had been fine, but the way he was talking now made her anxious.
she knew the wound was not fatal, but he did not.
Avarin was only truly concerned after the wound healed, as she had remembered a fellow villager who had gone to a routine fight to defend territory and returned with an arrow in the abdomen, just like her, the only difference was that the woman could never again carry other children. And Avarin worried, what if her child is born malformed because of her neglect? She would never forgive herself.
“I know you think it's an exaggeration, but I didn't know those boys and yet they tried to attack us, with so much hate in their hearts that I don't know who I am anymore.” He said the end of the sentence in a whisper running a hand over his face.
"I know who you are." Avarin tried to console him, she put a hand on his shoulder, "Isn't that enough?"
He placed a hand on top of hers, "It's not." But that wasn't the answer she was hoping to hear. “It is enough now, but what then?”
Avarin pulled her hand from his shoulder angrily, she understood what he meant, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt to hear that she wasn't enough, that they weren't enough.
"No." She said shaking her head, "No." She almost never cried, but this day she let the tears fall, this was the day she had chosen to tell him about the child, but instead they were fighting. “I understand, I really understand.”
“Then you need to let me go.” Miles tried to convince her, “You need to go with me.”
"No." Avarin said, “And I understand, but I can't go.”
"You can't leave me like that, Ava'." Miles said bordering on anger.
"What?" She asked incredulously, “Leave you? I would never do that, and you know it! Stop trying to make me guilty of something I'm not to blame!" She said moving further away from him, but the two remained sitting in the hammock. “I already said that I understand! Have you forgotten that you also spent weeks unconscious? I remember, I had to help you get back to being healthy, I trusted you when I hadn't even heard the sound of your voice! Ma oeyä Eywa! I taught you to speak.” Oh, my Eywa!
“And I am deeply grateful to you.” Miles said calmly, “You are my mate and the most important thing to me. I can't go on living while I know there's someone out there trying to hurt us." Miles had a sad expression on his face, "Shhh, don't cry, Lovin'."
She didn't even notice that she was crying, but accepted Miles's approach when he tried to embrace her. She allowed herself to be rocked lightly in his arms as he spoke softly comforting words. He kissed the top of her head, “I know it's going to be hard to leave it all behind, but it'll all be here when we get back. It will be just the two of us.” The problem is that it wouldn't just be the two of them.
Avarin had not expected to bear a child so soon, most village women only bore children after the second mating, but it seemed that Eywa had blessed Avarin sooner, perhaps because they mated before her.
"It won't be just the two of us." She said so softly that Miles almost didn't hear her.
Miles gently took her head out from under his neck, tucked a braid behind her ear and asked, “What do you mean?”
Avarin put her hand on her womb, her tail moving anxiously, and said, "We're going to have a baby soon." She saw his face change from sadness to surprise, she just didn't know if he would react badly.
Miles' ears pricked up and his tail flicked from side to side. "Is it true?" He asked with wide eyes, "That’s why you don’t want me to go?"
Avarin took her hand off her stomach and swallowed hard, nodding her head in agreement. “I don't ask you to stay here forever, I swear when the child is bigger, we'll all go together, look for answers.” She promised looking at him expectantly.
"I don't want the child to take my pain." Miles said placing his hand on her belly, causing her to automatically place her own hand on top of his, holding tight.
From his reaction, she knew he was still processing the information.
“Ava’?”
"Yes?"
Miles deposited his other hand on the side of her face, pulling so that their foreheads were glued together.
They spent a few seconds like that, but Miles moved out of position, saying, "I'll stay."
Avarin smiled in relief, but Miles still wasn't done talking: "But we'll look for answers sooner or later."
"Right."
“We are going to train this child to be a warrior, like you and me.” Miles said and Avarin nodded. Na'vi or not, this forest was still dangerous, and they would need to teach everything they knew to the child who would eventually go on this adventure with them as well.
Miles just didn't know it was going to be sooner than he planned.
“Thank you, Miles.” She said tenderly, "For giving me a family again."
“I see you, Ava’.” He said firmly.
“I see you, Miles.” She returned the gesture.