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Melissa slumps on the couch, still in her uncomfortable formal clothing. She can see Milo ‘soon’. That’s all they say. ‘Soon’. And in the meantime, god knows what is happening to him. She is supposed to protect him, she promised! She promised him that she would protect him, that she would never let anyone hurt him again. But she has been torn away from him, unable to protect him from anything. She knows why. She knows all of this legal stuff is important, to protect Milo. To stop any of the keepers that hurt him getting to him. But she still hates it.
Her dad watches her. Tension rippling through her like electricity, tightening her muscles. Clenching her fists. Straining her face.
He is proud of his daughter. Every day, he sees evidence of her bravery. He hears evidence of it as the case is discussed. But he is also so worried, and so sad. He hasn’t seen her smile once since the day he got a call to the police station. And he realises now that since she started her internship, any smiles he saw were fleeting at best, false at worst.
He can see guilt and fear weighing on her, the weight of a responsibility far too heavy for a child so young to bear. And all he wants to do is lift a little weight. Just for tonight.
“Hey, kiddo.” He sits down next to her, rumpling her hair. “How about a movie night?”
She looks up at him, disbelief flickering on her pale face. There are bags under her eyes, dark and heavy. “Like, now?”
“I know you’re worried about Milo, sweetheart.” He squeezes her hand. “But just sitting here worrying yourself to death about him won’t make him any safer. And it won’t get you to him quicker. You’ll be allowed to see him soon, but for now you have to look after yourself.”
She hesitates, then nods. “Sure.”
As she heads upstairs to change, he finds a movie that he knows she loves. An action one, with fighting and explosions and cool stunts. He doesn’t get the appeal, but he knows that she does. And that’s what matters.
She snuggles up to him as the movie starts, head resting against his shoulder. He puts his arm around her, love and grief warring for dominance in his heart.
At first, he thinks that it has worked. In the dim light of the room, he thinks that he might feel her body relax a little. He hears a little snort at one of the jokes.
And then the characters start firing guns. He feels Melissa tense up, hears a terrified noise slip from her throat. “Mel?”
As gunshots ring from the tv, Melissa jumps up and darts behind the sofa, crouching down. He follows, heart shattering when he sees her. Crouched behind the sofa, hands clamped over her ears, face screwed up in terror.
“Melissa?” He crouches down next to her. Her breathing is so fast, so shallow. He can see frightened tears building in her eyes. “Hey, hey. What’s wrong?”
She is trembling, enough to be visible. Her voice is choked with terror as she stutters out, “shooting, they’re shooting, they’re gonna get us… supposed to protect them…”
His heart drops when he realises what she means. He lunges for the remote, switching the tv off. Then he rejoins Melissa. “Hey, it’s ok. It was just on the tv, it wasn’t real. No one’s shooting, you’re safe.” He promises, keeping his voice low and gentle. “I’m here, sweetheart, dad’s here.”
She looks up at him, without removing her hands from her ears. “… dad?” She manages, still sounding so frightened. He blinks the tears that are burning in his eyes away as he carefully reaches out to touch her hand.
“Yeah, that’s it. You’re at home, you’re safe now. Promise.” He says softly. “Can you try to breathe with me? In… hold… out… in… hold… out…” He helps her breathe. It takes so long, and the whole time he is on the verge of tears. But slowly, her breathing returns to normal.
“Sorry.” She rubs her eyes with her free, shaking hand. She is paler than normal, and nowhere near calm. He can feel how tense and jittery she is. “After everything that happened, gunshots freaked me out.”
“You don’t need to apologise.” He rubs her hand with his thumb. “They shot at you, Melissa. They held a gun to your head. It’s normal to be traumatised by that.”
“I’m not the one who’s been kept in a cage.” She mutters, bitterness mixing with guilt.
“That doesn’t mean that you’re not traumatised.” He says gently. “You’re a child, Melissa, and you’ve been in situations that would traumatise most adults.”
“I thought I was gonna die.” She mumbles, shuffling closer to him. “So many times. And that I was gonna get Zack killed, which would’ve been even worse. I got him into the situation, and I didn’t even get him out safely.”
He really does feel like he is going to cry now. But this is the most open that Melissa has been since she broke Milo out. Since before that. Since she got the internship. He just squeezes her hand, encouraging her. “That must’ve been scary.”
“It was really scary.” She concedes, voice small. She is still trembling as she slumps against him, making herself as small as her voice. “For ages, I was so scared. I knew that we would get killed if we got caught, but I couldn’t stop. And I couldn’t ask for help.” She rubs her eyes. “I had to protect Milo, and protect Zack, but I couldn’t protect either of them. And hanging over us the whole time was this threat of dying, of being shot, I felt like I was gonna explode. I was so angry about how Milo was being treated, but I was still so scared.”
He hugs her, stroking her hair as tears slip down his face. “I know. I know.” What can he say? Of course she was angry. Of course she was scared. Of course she still is scared.
He will comfort her and support her as much as she needs. He will do everything that he can. But he can’t do everything. He isn’t enough. He needs to get her help.
For now, he just sits there and hugs her. She had the weight of the world on her shoulders for months, and is still holding it there. He wants to hold as much of it as he can, for as long as he can.
She’s just a kid. It’s not fair.