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“Absolutely not.”
“Katsuki, she's my friend too, and let me remind you, I'm the one who's carrying these babies for the better part of a year!”
“Raccoon Eyes ain't holding either of our babies. Have you seen her carry anything? No, because she's a klutz, and she gets around that by letting Shitty Hair carry everything for her.”
Ochako pauses in her argument with a thoughtful look before she frowns. “...I hate to say this, but add Mina to the list, Izuku,” she says with a sigh.
Izuku types on his phone in resignation. “This list is getting long, Kacchan. You don't trust any of your friends?”
Katsuki snorts, waving Izuku off. “I trust them just fine, with what I know they can handle,” he replies.
Barely holding back an eye roll, Izuku looks over the list he has on his phone. “That makes Kaminari-kun, Sero-kun, Ashido-kun, Kirishima-kun- Wait, when did Todoroki-kun get added to the list? We didn't agree to that! Kacchan!”
With a smug look, Katsuki gestures to a sheepish Ochako. “I'm sorry, Izuku! It was me,” she admits. “It's only temporary? But I don't think he could handle holding a baby...”
Izuku swipes the notes app away on his phone before tossing it onto the couch in frustration. “We just have to teach them to hold the babies,” Izuku protests. “You know we're all Pro-Heroes. We handle civilians all the time without breaking them.”
“Our babies are more important,” Ochako and Katsuki say in unison without even looking at each other.
“...at this rate, I feel like I'm not even going to be allowed to hold our babies,” Izuku gripes as he sinks into their couch, sulking. “I'm going to delete this whole ridiculous list if you don't find at least one friend of Kacchan who can hold one of our babies.”
“Easy,” Ochako replies, giving Katsuki a raised eyebrow. “Right, Katsuki?”
He gives her a blank stare in return, but before he disagrees, Katsuki notices her tapping an earlobe smugly. “Right, Cheeks,” Katsuki agrees with a wide grin. “Ears can absolutely be trusted with our babies.”
Izuku huffs a sigh as he grabs his phone to make the shorter list of baby approved people. “You're both conspiring against me today,” he grumbles.
Ochako laughs as she wraps her arms around Izuku's neck. “No, never, Izuku,” she coos with a look of someone that wouldn't have butter melt in her mouth. “Right, Katsuki? We should prove we'd never conspire against our partner...in a bad way.”
“Yeah, nerd, we'd never do that,” Katsuki agrees as he sandwiches Izuku between him and Ochako. “You believe us, don't you?”
Biting his lip to keep from laughing as he allows himself to be manhandled. “Well,” he starts to say wryly, “I think I could use some persuasion.”
Ochako and Katsuki's matching grins as they drag him to the bedroom tell Izuku he was right to be worried, but he doesn't find he minds at all when they conspire against him like this. At least it means he's done with making ridiculous lists of their friends for the night.