Archive of Our Own

“Absolutely not .”

Arthur winced, tearing his gaze away from his deflated boyfriend. If Alfred had animal ears, Arthur didn’t doubt that they would be drooping sadly at that very moment – not unlike the little puppy he was holding in his strong arms. The chubby pup let out a little whimper.

Oh, wait, no, that wasn’t the puppy – it was Alfred that had made the noise.

“Why not?” Alfred pressed on. Not that Arthur was counting, but he was almost a hundred percent certain that that was the fifth time Alfred had asked that. “I mean, look at him! He’s fuckin’ adorable!”

With that, the puppy let out a delighted bark that made Arthur cringe. Oh, dogs were just loud . “Alfred–”

“Seriously, look at him!” Arthur could only yelp and clumsily stumble backwards, nearly tripping on his own two feet as Alfred unceremoniously thrusted the pup towards Arthur’s face. Arthur yelped again when the puppy decided to run its slobbery tongue up his face, finally falling onto their couch behind him. Alfred gasped, “Aww, he likes you!”

Arthur was too busy wiping canid slobber from his grimacing face, not doing anything to mask his disgusted noises. “We don’t need another pet, Alfred! Besides, what’s wrong with Crumpet?!”

As if on cue, their Scottish Fold jumped onto the couch next to Arthur. Crumpet himself looked none too pleased to have this…disturbance around. He eyed the puppy with pure distaste in his golden eyes, and Arthur was inclined to agree.

But the puppy had opposing feelings, his fluffy yellow tail wagging excitedly as he squirmed in Alfred’s arms, causing even Alfred to struggle with keeping him steady. The puppy barked and whined as Crumpet stared, expression appearing to be a cross between disgust and fear, slowly inching towards Arthur as if seeking comfort.

“Woah, boy, control yourself!” Alfred laughed, adjusting his arms to accommodate the puppy’s excitement. “You wanna play with Crumpy, buddy?”

Crumpet released an angry-sounding meow, which happened to coincide with Arthur’s own ‘no’. Alfred looked offended, and Arthur anticipated the sixth ‘why not’. Instead, Alfred put the puppy down on the ground. Arthur spluttered and grabbed Crumpet immediately, afraid that it would suddenly do something to frighten little Crumpet.

To Arthur’s surprise, however, the puppy simply sat down on their carpet, gazing up at Alfred with his tail still wagging with glee. He tilted his golden head at Alfred. Still, a puppy was a puppy, and it politely but curiously gave Arthur’s ankle a sniff.

Then, it gave his sock a little lick before staring back up at Alfred as if the man was his whole world.

“Wha-” Arthur spoke stupidly, letting Crumpet wriggle free from his arms and jump onto the decorative table next to the couch. The puppy looked interested in Crumpet, but ultimately stayed in place, staring back up at Alfred. “What’s it doing?”

“Sitting, duh.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “I know that, Alfred. I mean, why is it-”

“So chill?”

“...I was going to say well-behaved, but yes, ‘so chill’ works.”

Alfred only snorted, plopping onto the couch next to Arthur. Only then did the puppy eagerly follow Alfred’s feet, barking at him and standing on its hindlegs, its paws leaning against Alfred’s shins. Arthur gathered that he wanted to be picked up, taking it as a cue to scoot away from his boyfriend. As expected, Alfred succumbed to the temptation and scooped the puppy up in his arms.

“He’s from Ludwig.” Alfred explained, watching as the puppy, too, gazed up at him with adoration. Arthur tried to ignore the squeeze in his heart, because it was nothing short of adorable. He cringed when he heard Alfred chuckle, voice filled with sweet tenderness and adoration, sincere and loving and oh-so sugary sweet.

Oh god, that was bad. Absolutely terrible. Arthur could tell that Alfred’s heart had been stolen already. It was too late. This really was awfully, terribly bad.

Needless to say, Arthur was completely and utterly in denial that another had stolen his boyfriend’s heart. But then again, Alfred was weak to those with golden hair and sweet faces. Arthur knew that quite well. He really should have seen this coming; he had witnessed it several times, even in the middle of dates, the way Alfred would suddenly stop, stare, and even engage .

But still, Arthur could not help but question why, of all times! When they were perfectly complete and happy!

Could this mean that it was only Arthur that felt this way? That was satisfied with their arrangement? Or, god forbid, was their little family of three not sufficient to Alfred anymore?

Aghast with the idea, Arthur said: “I demand you return that puppy to Ludwig this instant!”

At this, Alfred gasped and covered the puppy’s floppy ears as if he could understand the English language. “Arthur!”

“We don’t need another pet, Alfred!”

Alfred scoffed and embraced the golden pup to his chest, who looked perfectly content with that position. “Who was the one who was considering adopting a bunny again?”

Arthur was stumped, feeling himself fluster. “I– well.” Collecting himself, he cleared his throat and gathered his usual dignity, ignoring the awkward crack in his voice. “Lops are quite well-behaved, I’ll have you know! They, er, have excellent temperament!”

“And this ‘lil fella is, too! He spent most of his life with Lud, for god’s sake! He’s a really good boy! Right, buddy?”

The puppy barked in agreement, and Arthur watched as Alfred became mush and peppered the puppy’s face with kisses. Alfred looked back up at Arthur, and offered him something that he knew Arthur could never say no to.

Arthur froze in place as not one but two puppy dog faces stared at him pleadingly, one cuter than the other (by Arthur’s standards). He felt Crumpet jump down from his resting spot and swipe at his leg. He glanced at the cat, who had his eyes narrowed at him. If he could speak, Arthur knew that Crumpet was saying something along the lines of ‘Your eyes can deceive you. Don't trust them.’

Arthur nearly stood his ground, then Alfred pleaded:

“Just a few days, please?”

“...oh, fuck me.”

Day 1 (four hours since being introduced to the puppy)

“Is he still staring?”

Crumpet did not answer, because he was a cat.

Arthur sighed heavily and as he reached over to the coffee table. He scratched the special area under Crumpet’s chin, which rewarded Arthur with grateful purrs. He chuckled before letting his hesitant gaze linger over to the puppy.

He then received an answer to his own question.

The pup was, indeed, still staring. Arthur only nearly groaned.

It was…impressive, Arthur had to admit to himself. He knew puppies to be balls of energy that would not hesitate to bounce over with their little pink tongues dangling on the side of their maws, bothering whatever thing was in their sights. But it seems that this puppy was different – he was from Ludwig, so Alfred had mentioned several times. He stayed in place as if glued to that spot, only watching Arthur with quiet curiosity as if he knew that he was playing Disco Elysium instead of doing his work.

Arthur jumped when the puppy rose from his seated position and barked, causing even Crumpet to rise from his perfect loaf in surprise. The puppy ran over to Alfred and looked to be demanding to be picked up as his temporary owner laughed with delight. “Heya, ‘lil dude!” Alfred chirped, tossing the bag of McDonald’s takeout to the sofa next to Arthur. Arthur spluttered.

“What, I don’t get the first greeting anymore?”

“Oh, right!” Alfred snickered, cradling the golden retriever-hovawart mix in his arms as he walked over to Arthur and left a kiss on his cheek. “Heya, honey.”

He was an after-thought now?

“Hello.” Arthur greeted flatly, receiving the kiss but not-so-subtly leaning away when the puppy got too close to his face. Alfred must have noticed this, as he sighed and pulled away.

“You don’t like Hero that much?”

Arthur blinked, barely processing Alfred’s question. “That sentence made absolutely zero sense.”

“Hero. This guy! His name’s Hero now. ‘Cause he’s a ‘lil hero. Like me.”

Arthur was quick to grab the bags of their greasy dinner before Hero could stick his nose into them. “You’re not even naming him after an actual hero?”

“Well, I mean, we don’t know for certain if you wanna keep him around.” Alfred explained, appearing sheepish. There was a pang of guilt in Arthur’s chest then. “But, y’know, just so that we don’t keep calling him ‘the puppy’ or something like that. Whaddya think, huh, Hero?”

Hero barked in response, a smile on his golden face. Arthur rolled his eyes and put his laptop aside, picking Crumpet up. Seeing his boyfriend holding a furry friend made him feel empty-handed, and he wanted to prove that Crumpet could offer the same level of satisfaction as holding a puppy.

Unfortunately, Crumpet was in no mood at that moment and immediately scrambled away from Arthur’s embrace, even shooting him what felt like a disgusted look before walking out of the living room.

Alfred whistled. “Damn, that’s cold as fuck. Wanna hold Hero instead?”

Arthur uneasily looked at the puppy.

It looked like it smiled at him.

Yeah, no. He had never been a fan of dogs that much. They were too much.

Arthur just huffed and rose from the couch, doing like Crumpet and walking out of the living room.

“Wait, babe, I thought you didn’t come with me ‘cause you were working! Why the heck’s Disco Elysium on?”

Day 2 (6:22 a.m.)

Arthur liked mornings. He did not like mornings the same way he liked evenings. He felt that he lived in the night, but the morning was where Alfred lived, and he also felt at home in Alfred’s arms. He smiled when he felt Alfred pull him closer by his waist, leaving a long, loving kiss on his unruly bed hair. “Morning.” Alfred mumbled softly. Arthur’s heart fluttered pleasantly.

“Good morning to you, too.” Arthur chuckled. He brought a loving hand to Alfred’s cheek and grazed his skin with his thumb. The soft sigh from Alfred’s lips tickled Arthur’s own was not missed, and Arthur seized the opportunity to let their lips meet. Alfred moaned quietly, relaxed body somehow losing even more rigidness.

Oh, Arthur was in Heaven.

…that was, until–

“Oh, shit, Ludwig said that he needs to go out to shit and piss!”

(12:34 p.m.)

“Oh, don’t look at me like that. Why don’t you ever give Alfred that look?”

Crumpet continued glaring at Arthur as Hero barked around the obviously annoyed cat. Crumpet did not move an inch, however, for he was far too comfortable sitting in the box where what seemed like dozens of dog toys, treats, food, and accessories had come from – courtesy of Alfred.

“Huh, I got Hero all of these toys, but I guess he couldn’t resist Crumpet’s rizz!”

“Please don’t ever say that again.”

Alfred only snorted, sitting next to Arthur on the carpet. He nudged his anxious boyfriend. “They’ll be fine, dude. You don’t gotta get your knickers in a twist.”

Arthur sighed, “Alfred...”

“Don’t worry, seriously! Hero’s a great dude.”

“Great dog .”

“Potato, potahto.”

Arthur couldn’t help but chuckle. Alfred followed with a soft laugh, resting his head on Arthur’s shoulder, watching Crumpet and Hero interact. Arthur had to admit, knowing that Alfred was calm about the situation did mitigate some of his worries that the interaction could go down a more disastrous route.

Eventually, Crumpet let out an irked noise and jumped out of the box, sprinting away from the excited pup. Hero appeared to run after him before making a U-turn straight to Alfred, crashing into his arms as he barked, almost as if he was complaining about Crumpet’s cold attitude.

Arthur rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms, noticing Crumpet glaring at him from the other side of the room. He rolled his eyes again.

Day 3 (10:53 p.m.)

Crumpet didn’t want to leave Hero’s bed, no matter the pup’s whimpers and whines. Arthur sighed and tried getting up from the couch, but Alfred himself was the one to whine, keeping his head on Arthur’s lap. “The heck’re you doing? I’m trying to watch here!”

“Well, excuse me for trying to make sure those two buggers over there don’t prove stereotypes about their species!”

Alfred groaned and paused the movie. Arthur thought that it was permission to leave, but Alfred kept his head on his lap with no signs of any other kind of movement. Instead, he lazily brought his thumb and index finger halfway through his mouth, blowing out a quick, high-pitched whistle. Arthur thought that he hadn’t even been able to blink, with Hero immediately sprinting to the couch.

Alfred gasped and immediately sat up. “Holy shit, that worked!”

Arthur’s lap felt very empty.

Day 4 (9:26 a.m.)

“You comin’?”

Arthur and Crumpet looked up at Alfred, who was dressed in his usual jog wear. Arthur appreciated the sight of his lover, the way the plain white shirt clung on to his broad arms and brawny chest. Alfred must have noticed, failing to suppress his smirk as he feigned a yawn and began stretching, teasing Arthur by flexing his muscles. As much as Arthur enjoyed the sight, he instead chose to scoff and wave his hand dismissively in jest.

“Begone, poser.”

Alfred laughed, releasing his act. “But seriously, though, is that a no?”

Arthur gave it some thought. It had been a while since they jogged together, and it was a nice, warm day out. He nodded and rose from his seat. “Let me get dressed.”

(9:42 a.m.)

Arthur refused to make eye contact with Hero as he sat on the bench. He avoided all eye contact with anyone, really, because most of the queries would be related to ‘his’ dog, even though Hero was most certainly the opposite of his dog.

See, Alfred had to use the toilet, meaning that Hero – who Arthur had not known would be coming until right before they had left – was left under Arthur’s care and supervision. The pup was well-behaved enough not to bother the tired and sweaty Arthur, but god, did he stare .

“Why’re you looking at me?” Arthur grumbled under his breath, giving Hero a short glance before gesturing to the group of children by the pond. “You can stare at those bairns over there. They’re more interested in you than I am. Shoo, shoo.”

Hero glanced over for less than a second before staring back at Arthur, barking at him. Arthur cringed. “Bloody hell, bark louder, why don’t you?”

Arthur panicked when Hero did just that, and then tried following a bright yellow butterfly.

Day 6 (5:42 p.m.)

Arthur was in disbelief, while Alfred made sounds that were not too different from joyful sobs, barely muffled by the hand clasped over his mouth. Alfred’s other hand shakily held his phone as he filmed Crumpet and Hero not only sharing Hero’s bed, but cuddling .

Crumpet, of all people! Arthur’s ally! The one who appeared irritated by Hero’s presence only a few days ago! A cat !

And Crumpet was perfectly awake and lucid, yet he remained completely still and relaxed next to his apparent new-found friend, whose growing golden paw was resting atop his body. The sight was totally beyond Arthur’s level of comprehension, and he prided himself in having a rather exceptional one. Crumpet soon caught Arthur’s baffled gaze and quietly meowed, as if telling him to piss off because the puppy was fast asleep.

Arthur was aghast.

The betrayal!

“He’s the chosen one, Artie!” Alfred whispered. “Crumpet chose him!”

“He didn’t– that’s preposterous! Crumpet would never! Hero probably– I don’t know, this just isn’t like Crumpet! Hero probably fell on him or something!”

“Or, y’know, the right one: Crumpet’s like, totally in love with him now! That means we gotta keep him!”

“No! Crumpet’s going to snap out of it and this’ll be over!”

Day 12 (7:37 p.m.)

Arthur was a clown. No, perhaps he was the whole circus. He was forced to eat– no, feast on his words as he watched with distaste and humiliation his former ally groom a happy Hero.

“God, they’re the cutest, ain’t they?”

Alfred was once again filming Crumpet and Hero with the largest, goofiest, most crooked, cutest smile Arthur had seen all week. Arthur covered the camera with his hand when Alfred pointed his phone at him. “Alfred!”

“What?” Alfred laughed. “If there’s anything that beats their cuteness, it’s you!”

Arthur felt his cheeks burn. Christ, half a decade into their relationship and Alfred’s silly compliments still got to him. “Bugger off! Get that thing away from my face! There are other things to be filmed!”

Day 20 (9:36 a.m.)

“Hero, no! That’s a butterfly! Heel, I say! No– gah, get away from me! Alfred, get your dog! No, don’t throw it to me– shit, wait !”

Day 32 (7:25 p.m.)

“Thank heavens you’re both finally home! Crumpet wouldn’t stop whining!”

Day 36 (8:29 p.m.)

“Alfred, hurry! I think I accidentally taught this mutt a trick! Wh– of course it was an accident! What the hell do you think of me?!”

Day 50 (3:22 p.m.)

“I’m telling you, Alfred, you were hearing things. I was not the one calling him a good boy. I knew from the moment we bought this home that it was haunted.”

Day 66 (2:43 a.m.)

“Yes, I promise, the vet said that he’s going to be alright, I promise. Apparently, I was ‘overreacting’. I didn’t realise that vets were trained in diagnosing humans, too. Christ Almighty.”

Day 78 (2:43 a.m.)

“Not tonight, darling. Are you really going to have them evacuate the room when they’re so peaceful? No? That’s what I thought.”

Day 83 (1:42 a.m.)

“Believe it or not, I do know that   winter’s months away, I’m not an idiot. But still...I’d rather be safe than sorry. Besides, Crumpet’s got his own blanket. Hero deserves one, too.”

Day 100 (3:39 p.m.)

“I just realised. I never actually asked. Uh, we’re not getting rid of him, right?”

Arthur snorted. “Of course not. After all, Crumpet had chosen him.”

“Yeah…” Alfred snorted, scratching the back of Crumpet’s neck, who was currently curled up atop his chest. He then shifted his gaze over to Arthur with profound affection.

In turn, Arthur gazed upon dear Hero with soft adoration as their precious pooch made room on his lap. Alfred’s lover let out an affectionate chuckle as Hero yawned, and Arthur happily pulled his newly finished quilt over the lucky dog it had been exclusively created for, the initials ‘H.K.J.’ stitched on the topmost corner.

“You know, I was scared you weren’t gonna come around.” Alfred mused. “What changed your mind?”

Arthur seemed to think about it, but Alfred felt like he already had an answer to that question. He shrugged. “I’d given a golden-haired puppy a chance some years ago. Bothersome thing, but he grew on me. Not too different from this mutt of mine.” He offered Alfred a knowing look. “I never regretted that decision. I don’t think I’m regretting this one, either.”

Alfred felt his smile widen. “Oh, yeah? Guess that original puppy of yours made quite an impact.”

“I suppose that he did. But this one right here mellowed out significantly and the other can still be quite annoying.”

“Oh, please. You love me.”

“I think I’m inclined to agree with that, Alfred.”

Day (-2190) (7:23 p.m.)

“Absolutely not .”

“Aw, c’mon! Seriously?! Why not?!”

Arthur flinched and groaned in distaste when Alfred shook his golden tresses as if he were a dog. Arthur was forced to open his umbrella to shield himself from the droplets, which defeated the purpose of them finding protection under the building awning. Arthur had somehow managed to keep himself perfectly dry from the rain – but apparently he was not safe from Alfred.

See, Arthur had anticipated the rain, possessing some sort of sixth sense for it.

His best friend, Alfred, on the other hand…

Well.

He, too, had known that it would rain that day. Unlike Arthur, however, he had excitedly run out of their building the moment the first few drops had fallen from the heavens, as if he was not a tall, handsome, star American football player legally permitted to drink in his home country.

Now, he had the audacity to ask Arthur to drive him home! All soggy and wet and– and…

While Arthur’s feelings were at an all time high.

“Because of that ! Stop that!”

Alfred eventually did stop shaking his head. He groaned, stumbling back slightly, glasses all but askew on his face. It was a true miracle that his spectacles had not gone flying off of his handsome face. “Oh, god. Bad idea. I think I’m gonna hurl. -5/10, do not recommend to humans.”

“I’ll say.” Arthur scoffed. “Now you’ve gotten my trousers all wet!”

“ Pants , dude. Pants . And it’s just a little rain, chillax! What are you, a cat?”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Rich coming from the human embodiment of a dog.”

“Hey, who said that was such a bad thing?” Alfred snorted, eventually sitting down on the metal bench, which was now all wet. Arthur declined his friend’s invitation to sit, choosing to stand in order to avoid getting wet even more.

The two sat in silence as the rain persisted.

“...hey, Arthur?”

Arthur was not surprised that it was Alfred that had broken the silence.

“What?”

“I’m gonna tell you something. And it’s either gonna fuck everything up or make life better than it already is.”

Needless to say, Arthur was confused. The rain sort of drowned out Alfred’s voice, which was softer than usual. He hesitantly walked over, but did not sit on the bench. “Er, should I be concerned?”

“I– no? Maybe? Yeah? Or nah? I’m–”

“Take your time, I could stand under this cruel weather forever.”

“Hey, rude! Just listen, okay?” Alfred sighed. “I’ve been putting this off for weeks. No, months. Or a year? Maybe…more?”

Arthur was now more anxious. What was this big thing that Alfred had been hoping to tell him for years ? “Alfred, you’re rambling.”

“Shit, I am?” Alfred asked. He snickered nervously, and Arthur nodded, bothways encouraging and urging. This was not typical of Alfred. Alfred always seemed like he had a never-ending supply of confidence, with extras in his pockets for the road. “I had better plans for this in my head, just so you know. But I feel like that’ll never happen unless aliens invade and if I just keep waiting for that right moment to happen, I’ll never have the chance to have this second-best moment with you again. It’s like nature wanted this to happen!”

The choice of words alleviated some of Arthur’s worries, if only by a hair. “Just tell me, Alfred.” He urged.

“Yeah–” Alfred winced when his voice cracked. He cleared his throat, correcting himself as he stood up, facing Arthur. He opened his mouth to speak, but instead sighed heavily as he slid his glasses off of his face, rubbing his eyes. “I…I’m trying , Arthur. God, trust me, I’m trying my darndest here. But it’s not easy.”

Arthur’s patience was now running thinner. Or perhaps it was anxiety whose patience was running thinner? Either way, Arthur wanted Alfred to spit it out already. “Well, clearly you shouldn’t be saying it if you’re so ill-equipped.” He countered somewhat bitterly. Alfred groaned from that, but Arthur continued with his rather unnecessary remarks. “Save it for another rainy day.”

“No! No way in hell, dude! I’m not chickening out this time!”

“Then say it!”

“Fine!”

Silence.

“...well? Are you going to say it or not?!”

“I am, I just– shit, why is this so goddamn hard?!”

“Just say it!”

“I can’t!”

“Well, then– bloody– do something!”

Oh, and Alfred did something, alright. Arthur’s lips had been touching the air one moment, and touching Alfred’s the next. It felt like he had been struck by lightning – if being struck by lightning was the opposite of deadly and tasted just like heaven . Alfred was wonderfully warm and flush against Arthur’s body, who now did not mind the feeling of wetness against his semi-dry ensemble.

Arthur melted and kissed back just as easily as it was to fall in love with Alfred.

“I’m sorry– it had to be like this– Arthur,” Alfred’s words were whispered through desperate kisses and soft, shuddering sighs, “but I had to.”

Arthur wanted to tell Alfred that it was alright, that he had been waiting for this, to express his joy that he did not have to make the dreaded first move. But Arthur did not want their lips to part for even a moment, not until their lungs burned and he felt smothered. They panted, foreheads pressed together, desperate hands clinging to one another’s clothes. Now they were both damp, but Arthur was happy, because he felt connected to Alfred.

“So what does this mean? Are you– can you give me a chance, Arthur?”

“Absolutely, yes .”