Chapter Text
SOMEWHERE on the outskirts of town, Frank Frankly stood beside a bus stop sign, too focused on his pocket watch to notice what was coming down the road until he heard an engine grinding to a stop. Finally, he looked up at what was in front of him and saw Eddie Dear driving a truck.
“Mr. Frankly, I presume?” he said with a tip of the hat. “Right on schedule as promised.”
Frank slammed his watch shut, not as pleased at Eddie’s punctuality since Frank already got off the bus ten minutes ago.
“Fancy that, a mailman and a chauffeur!” said Frank in mock praise. “Not just a pretty face, huh?”
“W-Well, I don’t know about that...” said Eddie, slightly blushing.
“And I see that you’ve finally decided to follow my advice, and went and got yourself a wagon of sorts.”
“Oh, this ain’t mine. I borrowed it from the main office,” explained Eddie. “It’s a mail truck.”
“Is it now? Then this truck should only be used for deliveries and nothing else, is it not?” asked Frank.
“It is a delivery,” answered Eddie. “The package just happens to be...well, you! And I’m ‘delivering’ you to your house!”
“Oh, Eddie. You have such a way with words,” said Frank, deadpan. He then threw his luggage in the cargo area behind them before taking a seat beside the mailman. “Let us be off. That bus ride was long enough, and I simply must retire to my humble abode.”
“Yes, sir.” With those words, Eddie floored it, and the car whizzed along the unpaved road, earning a yelp from Frank. The dirt and rocks running over the wheels guaranteed that it was a bumpy ride. Eddie tried to make small talk with Frank, who was clenching on the leather seats for dear life.
“Y’know, Julie originally wanted to come along!” said Eddie, his voice much louder than usual. “But she thought of a better idea, so instead she— Oh wait, never mind, I said too much!”
“Eddie, you maniac,” cried Frank. “I can’t hear you over all this shaking, rattling, and rolling!”
“Oh, I love that song! You want me to turn on the radio?”
A sharp turn whipped their heads to and fro. While Eddie continued with his usual driving, Frank’s head did several rotations that got him seeing butterflies circling around him once it stopped.
“Anyhow, before I do that,” said Eddie, carrying on. “I just want you to know... that I missed you. I mean, we all did, but it got mighty strange not hearin’ anyone comment on my accidentally steppin’ on your flowers.”
“You did what!?”
“Oh, and you had to be there when Wally proposed we take turns house-sitting.” Eddie let out a laugh. “Cleanin’ up after someone else’s turn was a nightmare. Especially Barnaby’s. He dug so many holes in the yard, you’d think he was lookin’ for buried treasure.”
Frank held both sides of his head with his hands, eyes firmly shut, his face contorting while seemingly trying with all his strength to keep something on him from getting loose. Eddie, as always, was lost in a one-sided conversation.
“But the funniest has gotta be when Howdy took over. I forget how it went down, but he suddenly yelled, ‘you’re free, my brethren’ and a buncha butterflies flew away from your house.”
All trains of thought stopped when Frank literally lost his grip, causing his head to spin uncontrollably, ricocheting within the truck as he screamed, only to finally end when his head flew through an open window on the side of the driver’s seat. Eddie failed to catch him, and he could only watch in horror as Frank’s tube-like noggin shot into the sky.
“AAAAAAAaaaaaaaa.......!!!!” his voice screamed. The sound of his voice went farther and farther until it disappeared into the horizon, where it looked like he landed far, far away from his sight. Eddie was frozen with shock, mouth agape.
“I am goin’ to heck in a handbasket...”
Back at Home, a gathering was taking place where everyone had been waiting at the center of town. A banner that said ‘Welcome Home’ in bold, colorful letters with a hastily written ‘FRANK’ at the bottom in admittedly chicken scratch upper-case letters using red paint was hung between two poles.
“Permit me to advise that you’re a much better painter than a calligrapher,” said Barnaby Beagle, looking at the paint, which had already dried after dripping for some time.
“You think so?” replied Wally Darling, tilting his head. “I knew I should’ve used blue paint.”
Barnaby squinted and smoked his pipe as he processed the misleading response. “I guess that would’ve alleviated the, um, ambiguity?”
Julie Joyful, who had planned the celebration, was beginning to get impatient. As much impatience as a cheerful rainbow monster like her could express, anyway. She paced the ground while flapping both her hands.
“Gee, I sure hope they didn’t plan on taking a road trip instead,” she wondered. “It only takes ten minutes to get from the bus stop to here, I thought. What could be keeping them?”
As if her concerns had been heard, she noticed the mail truck approaching the town. She signaled for everyone to get to their places and hide. Howdy Pillar turned the cake around to hide the evidence of a missing piece being nicked earlier. Julie waited eagerly until she heard one of the doors to the truck open, unaware of the anxiety on Eddie’s face.
Everyone was about ready to yell, altogether. “SURPRIIIISE!!!”
Eddie barked as he jumped, causing him to awkwardly catch his hat with both hands on his behind.
“Eddie, you’re not supposed to be the one who gets surprised,” lectured Julie. “Now Frank’s gonna think we threw this party for you.”
“See, about that...” Eddie nervously began to speak. “I might’ve sorta possibly a teeny-weeny bit lost him along the way.”
“What’s that mean? I don’t know what you’re telling me.”
“I think it best just to show y’all, but I’m warnin’ you, I really gummed things up this time...”
Eddie opened up the door to the front seat and pulled out the motionless body of Frank, whose head was missing.
Everyone screamed at the sight, Howdy Pillar reciting a rather long exclamation drowned out by Sally Starlet’s melodramatic expressions of dread; a purple hue overtook Wally’s face as his jaw dropped, as well as Barnaby, who ended up dropping his pipe; and Poppy Partridge could only faint with a wing to her forehead before her large body thumped on the ground below.
“Mailman, you have gone mad,” cried Howdy. “Mad, I tell you!”
“I always knew that your kindness was too good to be true,” said Sally, who somehow switched her attire for a black gown and a widow’s veil, wiping away invisible tears from her face. “But to take it out on our dear Frank? Why Eddie, why?”
“It ain’t what you think, I swear,” said Eddie, who backed away from everyone as they gathered toward him.
“Tell it to the judge, mister,” said Barnaby. “If we had a judge...but you know what I mean!”
“Everyone stop!” yelled Julie, jumping between Eddie and the terrified neighbors. “Eddie’s right, it’s not what you think. Frank’s okay! He just lost his head.”
“Quite literally, it seems,” added Wally, who walked towards the body.
“Sometimes, Frank gets a little too hot under the collar, and—” Julie gestured to Frank’s body, “—this happens! We just need to put his head back on.” She turned to Eddie. “You do know where his head is, right Eddie?”
“That’s what I was tryin’ to say,” said Eddie. “Frank’s head spun around like a twister, bounced around inside the truck, then shot into the sky like a skyrocket. And I think I saw him land...somewhere.”
Julie stared at the direction in which Eddie was pointing. She couldn’t help but shake her head in dismay and give Eddie a sad look.
“I’m terribly, terribly sorry, Julie.” Eddie got down on one knee, lacing his fingers together. “I never meant for this to happen. I just got so excited, told him all about what’s been happening at Home... Oh, please don’t get upset. I’ll find him. I promise, I will!”
“Now now, neighbors,” said Wally, grabbing everyone’s attention. “Friends, I think we’ve done enough panicking for today. My, this has been an exciting day, but we must be on our way to look for Frank.”
“We?” asked Howdy.
“Of course!” agreed Barnaby. “We’re going to need all hands on deck in this one. Catch my drift, my buggy buddy?”
“Barn, do you mind?” grumbled Howdy, rolling his eyes.
Suddenly, Poppy finally stirred from her unconsciousness.
“Oh, I had the most horrible nightmare,” she said. “We were throwing a grand party, just positively grand. Then all of a sudden, I saw Frank without his...” Her eyes adjusted to see Frank’s headless body being held up by Eddie. As she was about to faint a second time, Barnaby and Howdy rushed to her side, with the blue dog going for her back and the caterpillar snapping all his fingers to keep her eyes from closing.
“Stay with us, Ms. P,” said Howdy. “Frank is fine, he’s just one head short of a full set right now.”
“Heh! Good one,” said Barnaby.
“Crumbs! Now you got me doin’ it.”
The neighbors gathered round and talked about the plan: split up into pairs and find Frank’s head somewhere among the hills on the outskirts of home. There were Wally and Barnaby, Poppy and Sally, and Eddie and Julie, who decided to join forces as the ones closest to Frank.
“What about me? I can’t go out there alone,” said Howdy, realizing he was the only one without a partner.
“Silly me, I didn’t consider our numbers. Frank was always really good at that.” Wally pondered a bit, rubbing his chin. “I guess you can stay here and wait for us to come back.”
“Fine by me. I have a store to run.”
“How? We’ll all be gone,” noted Barnaby.
“Not true. I’ve got Home with me.” Home, who was also Wally’s house, acknowledged Howdy’s statement by moving its eyes and shuttering its windows. “Someone might need a new set of shingles for a rainy day.”
“Then it’s settled.” Wally nodded with a smile.
Eddie had everyone get into the mail truck’s cargo area, with Julie taking the front seat. Eddie took note of a square-shaped rock alongside the road that acted as his makeshift landmark so as to remember exactly where he lost Frank. The truck came to a stop, and all the neighbors present got off the vehicle.
“Alright, we’re gonna start lookin’ for Frank in those woods over yonder, and if we don’t find anything after thirty minutes,” Eddie looked at his watch to emphasize the point, “let’s all come back here for a quick rest.”
“Loud and clear,” said Wally with a quick salute.
“Okay, neighbors. Let’s all make like bananas and split,” announced Barnaby with a hearty laugh, earning collective groans from both Poppy and Sally and a light nudge from Wally.
After a while, all the other neighbors were hidden by their individual thickets, leaving only Julie and Eddie visible from a distance. The morning sun was dappling through the colorful leaves, but neither of them could appreciate its beauty, as both were deep in uncharacteristic sorrow.
“Again, I’m awful sorry, Julie. I understand if you’re mad at me.”
“I’m not mad at you, Eddie. I’m just so worried for Frank. He must feel so lost and scared in these woods.”
“We don’t gotta worry about that with his friends lookin’ for him.” As Eddie said those words, the atmosphere seemed to have changed between them, and the two friends were back to their usual smiling selves, filled with determination. “I reckon he can’t wait to see us!”
TO BE CONTINUED...