Chapter Text
Autophobia - The fear of being Alone
Sometimes he feels as if he's still there trapped and forgotten. Left to rot in an empty and void au with only his forced breaths heard, echoing slightly through the vast space. In those moments he forgets to think, to hear, to feel as he can only see the white void swallow him while he sits their alone. No one to hear his cries and no one to witness his heart shatter once again.
Occasionally he'll wake up to the void or dream of it like endless tunnel that doesn't have an ending. The problem wasn't the vacant au, at least not exactly, it was the silence. The heavy silence that haunted him for who knows how long, the silence that almost pushed him over the edge, the silence he was saved from.
There were bad days. Even when he was surrounded by the company of his family and friends, he would still drift away as if he had never even existed there and returned to the emptiness. There were good days when the image of being stuck in his au stayed in the back if his mind and he could enjoy the noise and banter if his beloved brothers.
Then there were days like today, the days when the idea of being alone forced him back to the haunting memories he tried to escape. When being in a room by himself felt less like a home and more like a punishment.
He had been getting better, better at recognising this feeling and seeking the company of anyone that would have him. But sometimes his brain was too distracted to catch the aching in his chest and the distant feeling in his body. The feeling too overwhelming to act on.
He could only sit there and wait, wait as the feeling passed over him like a wave in the ocean or until someone found him and stayed unlike his family.(and the one friend he'd made that left him so long ago).
He sat there staring at his bony hand that had a pencil gripped between his pointer finger, middle finger and thumb or at least the bones of it. A lovely drawing of Killer and Dust wrestling on their coach over a silly squabble. Killer looking so happy and Dust looking free without a care in the world.
A small smile stretched over his skull even if he couldn't quite get out off the void, his family were still here.
Suddenly he felt a soft light hit him shaking him to his core. He could breathe again but his breaths came out too fast then he would've liked and his chest heaved and heaved as a new feeling of panic hit him.
He couldn't explain why he was panicking, he didn't understand why either but he could feel arms wrapping around his shoulders pulling him to someone's skeletal chest.
"Shh.... Your okay, Your not alone, I'm here" whispered Horror softly
Horror had already called Nightmare to come back as soon as he could. Killer and Dust were on their way and although Error couldn't join in with any cuddling, he had a soft blanket ready. Whenever Cross was too deep in his head, they all knew he needed as many people around as possible.
Slowly Horror picked up Cross, gently as not to startle him while continuing to whisper reassurance and praise. Then he placed him on his bed tucking Error's beautifully crafted blanket around Cross.
Cross could feel his chest loosen as his breaths slowed and evened. The warmth in his chest grew as he snuggled into Horror and his senses returned to him one by one.
Eventually Dust came in and wrapped his arms around Cross loosely while placing one of his hoodies on Cross's lap for comfort. Next came Killer sitting next to Horror and tucking himself against his large body while holding out a hand for Cross to take if he so wished. Of course Cross took it.
Finally Nightmare entered gracefully but worriedly at the same time. His expression visibly softened and his body relaxed while he settled behind Cross and nestled them all against his chest and tentacles.
The silence was filled by Nightmares powerful but softened voice retelling tales of adventures none of them knew if they were real or not but it did not matter as they all settled quietly slowly resting their eyes and choosing to sleep comfortably. Later Error made a makeshift hammock and watched over them as they slumbered.
No matter if he gets dragged back into his brain, into his thoughts that trap him in an unruly mess of emotions and blankness. His family would watch over him and save him from his loneliness whenever he needed it and in return he promised to watch over his family in their times of need.