Chapter Text
Effie hates District 13.
Well, no, she doesn’t hate that it exists. She doesn’t hate what it stands for, she doesn’t hate what they’re doing. She respects their ability to survive and thrive for so long without the knowledge of the Capitol, and she is grateful for the help they’re supplying to the rebels.
She is grateful that District 13 accepted her, but she absolutely hates being here.
It’s not even the lack of fashion, of makeup, parties or everything else everybody assumes she misses.
Effie hates the cold.
Everything is cold.
The food is cold. The water is cold, even when she needs it to be so hot it burns her body.
The walls are cold, the gray getting to her in ways she never thought possible.
Her room is cold, and she hates the fact that there aren’t enough blankets in 13 to keep her warm at night.
The clothes are cold. Practical, without any personality, void of colors. She hates that no matter how many of them she layers over her body, she still doesn’t get the warmth she craves for.
The people are cold. Her interactions with command are always professional, devoid of pleasantries. Except for the hug Katniss gave her when they first met in 13, the girl barely pays her any attention most of the time.
Gale is, surprisingly, the only one who shows her some humanity. He smiles when they’re in the same room, and if their paths cross outside of command, he stops for a minute, asks her about her day.
When she meets his littlest sister, Posy, the child says she likes the way Effie wrapped her scarf around her head, that it makes her look a lot more human than when she came in District 12. Effie thanks her, and that gets her a kiss on the cheek. But even that innocent display of affection can’t warm her up.
Effie is always cold. Her hands are shaking, most of the times, and every day, her toes feel like ice.
She hates it. And hates herself for it.
☆
After Katniss agrees to become the Mockingjay, there’s a change of wind.
For one, she has something to do now. She works most of the days away, prepping Katniss and following Cinna’s instructions to a T.
And people start looking her in the eye.
☆
She’s relieved when Haymitch comes back. He looks awful, too thin and too pale, but at least he looks her in the eyes.
Effie has no idea where the flirting came from… Well, that’s a lie. The flirting was always there, from the very first day. It was playful and harmless, or perhaps they kept it just at that because of the Capitol hidden cameras. Those weren’t around anymore.
She’s still cold. And he’s not helping. She doesn’t know why she expected him to.
☆
He finds her late at night, very late at night. She’s in the cafeteria, still pouring over Cinna’s sketches. Katniss and her team are scheduled to leave in the morning for District 8, and Effie will do her best to make everything perfect.
Haymitch sits down next to her, but doesn’t say anything. After a while, Effie closes Cinna’s sketch book, and turns around fully on the bench, regarding him for a while.
He looks old, older than he should. His eyes show no emotion, and that scares Effie.
She can’t help but notice that he’s also wearing a lot more layers of clothes than he should. And the beanie is a dead giveaway that he’s cold. Must be a side effect from the withdrawal, she thinks.
‘How are you feeling?’, she asks cautiously.
‘Terrible’, Haymitch doesn’t even look at her, as he quickly answers. ‘You?’
‘Cold’, that makes him look at her, slightly amused.
‘I can’t believe you’re here’, Haymitch says, catching her off guard.
‘Yes, well’, Effie straightens her back, ‘I was informed it was your idea.’
‘And I stand by it’. He nods, then crosses his hands over the table and puts his head on them.
He’s exhausted, clearly, the type of tiredness that doesn’t pass with a night’s sleep. That doesn’t mean he shouldn’t try.
‘You should sleep, Haymitch.’
He shakes his head, slightly. ‘I’m in a room with Beetee. It’s not safe for us to be sleeping at the same time.’
She doesn’t ask, she figures two victors with nightmares aren’t a good match behind closed door.
‘You want to nap on the table?’, she asks instead, a bit amused.
‘Sounds fine’, Haymitch yawns. ‘After you leave.’
Effie has been hearing this for years, it’s not something new, Haymitch never sleeps when she’s around. She wonders if he still has a knife on himself at all times, but doesn’t ask. She doesn’t leave, either.
Instead, Effie slowly readjusts herself, until their sides are pressed together, until she can rest her head on his shoulder. The sweater he’s wearing is surprisingly soft to the touch, and she can’t help but move her cheek a few times, pressing the fabric into her skin.
He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t move a muscle. Some people come inside the mess hall some time later, but they still don’t move.
Her head moves with every breath he takes, and Effie hates herself for how comfortable she feels. She shouldn’t have this luxury.
‘Why are you shaking?’, he finally asks after a long time, still not moving.
‘I can’t seem to get warm.’, Effie admits. ‘Ever since the hovercraft took us from the Training Center.’
‘That’s probably shock’, he says, not unkindly.
Effie scoffs. ‘I’ve had enough time to get over the shock.’
Haymitch snorts. ‘War is not something you just get over.’
He stirs then, and Effie reluctantly moves away. Haymitch doesn’t say anything when he gets up, and Effie reluctantly goes back to Cinna’s sketches.
So it’s a surprise, when she feels something on her shoulders. It doesn’t take long to realize that it’s Haymitch, wrapping her in his sweater.
Effie’s too shocked to turn to look at him.
Haymitch turns her head to the side, slowly and with a lot more gentleness than she thought he was capable of. He kisses her cheek, and she can’t see his face, but for some reason, she doesn’t think she’d want to.
‘Get some sleep, princess’, Haymitch says softly, softer than ever before, and Effie doesn’t dare turn to look at him as he leaves.
☆
She starts wearing the sweater. It’s the only thing that brings her some warmth, and it means something, of course it does, but Effie doesn’t have the luxury to think of that.
But, she’s still playing a part, so she modifies the sweater to suit her needs, and her fashion sense.
He doesn’t say anything of it.
☆
When Katniss and her team are getting ready to leave for the Capitol, Effie keeps herself together, for their sake.
But as soon as the hovercraft takes off, she’s running to her room, tears of desperation already on her face.
It doesn’t take long for Haymitch to come to her. He doesn’t even bother knocking, he just comes in and locks the door behind himself, before taking off his shoes and joining her on the bed.
Haymitch holds her as she weeps, softly running his fingers through her hair and reminding her to breath. He doesn’t fill the silence with useless words, doesn’t tell her that everything will be okay. He just holds her.
Effie doesn’t know how long it takes for her to calm down, but as soon as she does, Haymitch uses the sleeve of his blouse to wipe her face.
Then, he takes his clothes off.
It’s not the first time they have sex. But it’s the first time he’s completely sober, and it’s the first time she doesn’t do it because she’s bored.
It’s the first time she needs it. She thinks he needs it too.
And it’s different.
Haymitch is slow, he undresses her like they have all the time in the world. He caresses her body and kisses her skin, and Effie feels like she is with another man.
In some way, Haymitch is another man now than he was a year ago, two, five years ago. Effie liked that man. She thinks she might be able to fall in love with this man.
And later, when she’s tired and mellow, and Haymitch doesn’t leave, when he holds her close and runs his fingers through her hair, Effie is certain she’s falling for Haymitch, probably has been for a long time.
She’s not cold anymore, in his arms.
☆
When Beetee knocks on her door, he knows Haymitch is there, so he informs them both that there’s news and that they’re expected in command.
Effie reluctantly gets out of bed, gets dressed and wraps her scarf around her head. Haymitch helps her get into his sweater, and she kisses him one last time, as sweetly as she can. He holds her tightly and responds in kind.
When Effie opens the door, she has her head held high. She’s warm, she’s terrified for her friends, and she has Haymitch’s hand in hers. She’s prepared to face whatever this war throws at her.
Even Beetee’s surprisingly excited chuckles, and the high-five he insists on sharing with Haymitch.