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The forest he had wandered into was damp and dark, mist swirling like smoke between the trees. Hunter had been following a light in the distance, but it was gone now. He was all alone, and lost. He slogged through the mud as it got deeper and deeper, his feet long frozen from the seep of boggy water. He slipped. His hands shot out and thudded against a tree trunk. He could feel the tell-tale seize of his toes, and the radiating ache of his thumbs. He was stuck, sinking into the mud as his feet cramped and his hands burned with aching pain. He was trapped.
"No, no no no no not now, please not now!" His heart hammered and his breath was tight. He knew panic would only make it worse, but he was cold and shivering and scared and trapped. He tried to suck in deep breaths, but each one felt too big for his chest and swelled into his stomach, and his whole body began to ache from the strain. Every time he tried to pull his legs free of the mud, his feet would spasm and he would have to push them down again, and they would sink further in. He tried to pull himself up with the tree trunk, but every attempt to grip with his fingers was met with thundering, paralyzing ache.
The entire forest began to fade as his mind was overrun with the pain until, finally, he was aware that he was in his bed, on the floor, in Luz's house. He was asleep, and stuck not because of mud but because he wasn't in control of his body yet. The nerves in his hands fired pulses that roared all the way up to his forearms, and his feet cramped in waves under the pressure of the blanket. His mind struggled to connect to his body, struggled to wake all the way up.
The the beating of his heart from his dream caught up to reality. The thumping in his chest started all at once, and he was barely able to gasp before throwing himself out of bed and hobbling over to the couch. He braced himself, panting and covered in sweat. He held himself as still as he could manage, pressing his feet against the ground to keep them from bending. He tried to find something to focus on- anything else other than the pain. The floor? No, that's where his feet were. The couch? No, that's where his hands were. He was instantly aware of how cold and sweaty they were. All of him was. The thudding of his heart and shivering of his spine was upsetting his stomach- No! No, think about something else.
What if Belos were to come for him now?
No! Think about something else.
The stairs. How many steps were there? he couldn't see all of them, but he could count anyway. One, two, three four... He counted until they disappeared behind the ceiling. How many times did he climb the steps in a day? 4? 8? There were 11 steps, so if he climbed them 6 times a day on average, that was 66 steps he climbed. if he climbed two steps at a time, it would be 33 steps. If King were here he would need to climb two steps per stair step, so that would be 66 times 2. Six times 2 is 12, so the number ends in 2. Another 6 times 2 was 12, plus 1 is 13, so King would take 132 steps in a day on the stairs at that rate.
His left foot had stopped cramping, so he leaned to press harder down on his right. Water would help. He left his glass of water on the sink in the bathroom. The last serious wave of cramping in his left food faded, though even the thought of moving made it threaten to start again. He knew he had to just go for it. If anything, his hands couldn't bear to stay like that forever. He limply lifted his foot and put in back down in a small, timid step. It felt manageable. He straightened and pulled his hands off the arm of the couch. They were frozen in both senses of the word, but the ache lessened now that they were not holding his weight. With a calmer heart, he slowly made his way to the bathroom. He downed three cups of water and brought the fourth down to his bed. Did he dare sit back down? If he did, he would be vulnerable to more cramping... but he was also exhausted. He needed sleep... No. He'd be fine with what sleep he had gotten. He just needed to wake up and get warm. Activity would be sure to help. Being idle was the problem.
He slowly climbed the stairs, one step at a time. Once he was in the kitchen, he sat with his water and thought about what he could do. It was cold out now. Maybe the Nocedas needed firewood. That would be useful. He finished his cup of water and went outside. It felt cold enough to snow, but there wasn't enough moisture in the air for it. He made his way to their club house, and around to the back of it. There was an old axe in the grass. it was heavy in his hands, and the wood was perfectly smooth from wear. He got to work.
The motions of chopping down the small-ish tree were repetitive but comforting. With each swing, he was accomplishing something. He was helping. He was proving his worth. The tree fell, and he set to his second task of trimming the branches and cutting manageable logs. He was barely half way through when he heard footsteps behind him. He whirled around- he couldn't quite help the skip of his heart, even though he knew there was nothing to fear anymore. Sure enough his panic was unfounded, because there stood Camila Noceda. Hunter placed the axe down and straightened.
"Good morning Ma'am! The weather is cooling down, so I figured I would cut some firewood for you." He couldn't help the smile that warmed his face. He knew this would make her happy. And she smiled, too. Hunter beamed.
"Oh... Thank you Hunter." She eyed the completed logs. "I don't think we'll need more than that for a while, why don't you come inside and... help me make breakfast for everyone? I can show you where to put those." Her hand had come to cup her own cheek, and the way she looked at him made him feel... safe. Appreciated. He nodded and eagerly collected the logs before following her back into the house.
* * *
Camila knew by now that she wasn't imagining it. She saw how, after long outings with lots of walking, Hunter would limp and step gingerly. She saw how he incessantly rubbed and stretched his fingers, how he weakly flexed them after holding things. She knew he was not well, and she worried. But was she allowed to worry so? Her instincts told her to run him to the doctor immediately, to never let him carry anything, to make him take breaks from walking. But who was she, really, to tell him anything? She still didn't know everything that had happened to the boy, but she did know that the only parental figure he had was the person who hurt him most. She was terrified she would end up reminding him of that person.
But today, she could feel the approach of the last straw. The poor boy's hands were locked up and shaking when she found him. He didn't even seem to notice how roughly he was rubbing his fingers when she asked him to come inside. He never would have agreed to stop if she hadn't given him another job to do... she sighed and shook her head. What was she going to do with that boy?
"Let's wash our hands first, what do you think we should make?" They shared the sink as they washed their hands, and she pretended not to notice as the boy sputtered, still shy and bad at making decisions. "How about... pancakes?~" She side-eyed him with a grin and saw how his face lit up in excitement.
"Banana pancakes?" Camela chuckled. He looked so happy.
"I'll get the ingredients out."
* * *
The human realm had many wonderful things in it. Wolves. Sci-fi books. Halloween. "Crazy" socks- Costumes! But one thing Hunter loved most was banana pancakes. Pancakes alone were incredible. Soft and warm and sweet- but not too sweet! Covered in salty butter! But then those weird yellow fruits on top would take it all to the next level! He decidedly could eat nothing but banana pancakes for the rest of his entire life and be happy.
Mrs. Noceda put out the box of pancake mix, a big bowl, milk- he still didn't know what milk was- eggs- he did know what those were, kind of- and the bananas. Hunter set to mixing the powder, eggs, and milk with the strange wire-y tool called a whisk. Mrs. Noceda peeled and sliced the bananas and, when she was done, she scooped the ends of each banana into the batter. Hunter dutifully smashed the banana pieces around into the batter. This was the part that made them better.
"This is the part that makes them the best!" He couldn't help but say it out loud, and he felt a warmth in his chest when Mrs. Noceda smiled and nodded in agreement.
"You're right, I love them too!"
It was time for Mrs. Noceda to pull out the comal, and Hunter sat patiently, swaying with excitement. He watched as four small globs of batter dropped onto the hot comal, but turned his attention to the sound of someone approaching. Vee rounded into the kitchen, clearly following her nose.
"We're having banana pancakes!" Hunter blurted. Vee smiled in return and rushed to sit at the table with him.
"We are? Awesome!" Mrs. Noceda laughed quietly.
"At this rate, you two might end up waking Luz up at a reasonable hour." That struck an odd note in Hunter. She was right, he wasn't doing anything helpful. What could he do? His eyes immediately went to the bowl the batter was in... there was still batter in it waiting to be cooked, so he couldn't clean that yet. But he could clean the whisk and put away the ingredients. And wipe the counters. And maybe just clean the refrigerator while he was at it. He stood and got to work. Careful to not get into Mrs. Noceda's way, Hunter swiped the whisk and washed it before putting it on the rack to dry. He grabbed the milk and eggs and put them in the fridge where they belong. Then the box of dry powder mix. As he was reaching for the sponge to clean the counters, he accidentally bumped Mrs. Noceda. He jumped, and looked to her. She didn't look mad.
"Sweetie, can you please go wake up Luz for me? If she doesn't get up soon, she'll sleep through the whole day."
"O-oh! Right away!" He spun and marched to the hall, then down it to Luz's room. He knocked on the door, waited, and then knocked again when there was no response. His knuckles ached where he used them to knock, but it was easy to ignore. After 30 seconds of waiting, he decided he had best just go in. Luz could sleep through anything. He opened the door and poked his head into her loom.
"Luz. Luz! Luuuuz! Wake up! We're having banana pancakes!" She stirred at her name, but shot up at "pancakes".
"Pancakes! I will be Right There!" Hunter walked back to the kitchen to see Mrs. Noceda putting a heaping plate of pancakes on the table.
Luz joined them for breakfast, and the four of them ate and talked. Hunter finally felt fully awake. Making breakfast, eating together, all of this family stuff was so strange still. But in the best way. Sometimes Hunter worried about going soft or being unprepared. But he was getting used to the idea of it being... okay. He didn't need to fight anymore. Everything was fine now. Finally, there no war to fight, no evil to overthrow, nothing was wrong. He went to go change into his outdoor clothes after being physically turned away from the dishes by Mrs. Noceda and Luz.
"What will it be today, hm? I thiiiiink," Hunter stuck his hand into the drawer that he'd been taking clothes from and pulled something random out, "Yes! Another wolf shirt!" He pulled his pajama shirt off and pulled the wolf one on. The bottom hem of the shirt got twisted into the neck hem though, and he had to twist and pull to get himself unstuck. He felt his fingers begin to lock up. He relaxed as best he could and shook his hands out. Some days were worse than others, today was just one of the bad ones. It was fine. He knew if he ignored the shaking in his hands it would go away.
Soon it was time to go. Mrs. Noceda was going to what was called a "super store" today. Luz was going back to visit Amity, and Vee had joined a club that sometimes did activities on the weekends, so it was just going to be Hunter helping Luz's mom today.
They got in the car, and immediately Hunter was aware that Mrs. Noceda was looking at him strangely. He could feel himself shrink away, but tried to downplay it by leaning against the door and glancing out the window. He heard her clear her throat before turning the radio on at low volume.
"Thank you for helping me today! Carrying stuff shouldn't be too hard, I just need help finding everything on the shelves. I swear it's like they put things in the least logical order possible just to keep me trapped in there forever!"
"The night market in the isles is like that, too. It's mostly to give the guards a hard time tracking anyone down without giving away that w- they're looking for someone." They talked about the Boiling Isles and about the human realm, some similarities and differences, and how the super store was going to be. Hunter appreciated the heads up; the name had made him nervous. When they arrived in the parking lot though, he was nervous and excited all over again. This store alone was comparable to the largest wings of Belos' castle. But the bustle of people was what really amazed him. There were so many, everywhere. Once they were in the store it seemed a little less crowded, but not by much.
"Okay, take a look at this list please. This shouldn't take too long with you here to help." Hunter nodded, and eagerly read the list. This was going to be a piece of cake, Hunter was great at tracking and finding things! He would impress Mrs. Noceda and be helpful at the same time! So they walked down the right side of the store, and Hunter would scout down each isle, making sure he was thoroughly but efficiently checking each one while still remaining within eyesight of Mrs. Noceda. Either he would give her a thumbs up for the all clear and trot back, or he would grab whatever they needed from the shelf and put it in the cart. Hunter had not yet done his first load of laundry, but he was watched Mrs. Noceda to learn how it was done, so when it came to the isle with the giant containers of soap, he was confident he would recognize which one was the right one. Sure enough, he saw it. The label was word for word, shape for shape, color for color a match. He slowed down and shifted to grab it, but his heart dropped as he felt the tell-tale twinge in his right foot. He froze, planting his palms on the shelf and willing himself into calmness. He was fine. He stood straight, grabbed the twin pack of laundry soap and walked carefully but as quickly as he could back to the cart. Next was the middle of the store, which was meat, baked goods, and bottles of things Hunter and his friends weren't allowed to drink. Muffins? Check. The meat called adobo? Check. The wonderful little rolls with meat packed into the middle of them-
"What are these called again?"
"That's sushi, mijo. Grab a few different kinds and put them here, please," she pointed to the small upper rack of the cart, "The one you said you liked last time was the California roll, it should say that on the label. Oh! And don't forget to check the packing date, the closer to today the better." Hunter did exactly that and grabbed 3 out of the 4 types of sushi they had. The cart was getting quite full now, and Hunter wondered if he should offer to go get another cart. He didn't want to suggest that Mrs. Noceda was buying too much though... would she take it that way? No, he could just carry anything that didn't fit. And so they finally made their way down the left side of the store. The freezers made the air cold enough to sap all the warmth from his skin, but it wasn't such a bad feeling. He placed the two cartons of eggs on top of the boxes of muffins, pushing them into the corner of the cart for security. He saw Mrs. Noceda pull the cart over and reach for a box of cans that looked heavy. Hunter rushed to her side. The threatening ache in his foot surged again, so he pressed down as subtly as he could and ignored it.
"Please, allow me to get that for you!" She glanced at him in a way that made him pause. Was he doing something wrong? Oh! Maybe she was upset about the cart?
"I'm sorry I left the cart unattended, but that looks heavy. Please let me help with it." And then she smiled, and Hunter thought he must have been right. But she was smiling, so she forgave him already. She nodded and went back to the cart, and he could feel her watching him as he hefted the box that was almost half his size to the cart. He squatted to place it on the large bottom rack, but when he slid it on it wouldn't sit right. The egde of the box hung over the edge of the rack enough that made Hunter think it might fall, so he pulled it out again and lifted it.
"It doesn't fit very well, I'll just carry it! What's next?" They went down the last 3 isles and Mrs. Noceda grabbed the last two things they needed before they headed to the lines. The lines were where people stood to wait to pay for their things, and right now they were long. Hunter wasn't worried, his arms weren't even remotely tired. His arms could do this all day! But he could feel sweat make the back of his neck damp. His fingers had begun to ache almost immediately after he had started walking with the box. It had little plastic handles on the sides, and his fingers were hooked under them. It hurt. But it was nothing, he had been through so much worse. And he was helping, that's what was important. Then he had an idea. He slid one hand down to the bottom of the box, then the other, and put all the weight of it on his forearms. He could feel his hands pulse like fire, but now they were resting. This was an awkward way to carry the box, though, and he could feel it in a very different muscle group. He wouldn't be able to keep this up for as long. That was fine though, he just needed a short break. They were halfway through the line now, and soon they'd be on their way home. Hunter didn't need a break, he would be fine without one, but it would be foolish not to be grateful for one, right? As they approached the conveyer belt, he shifted the box back into his hands. It instantly shot deep, aching pain into his fingers, but it wouldn't be for long, and his arms were more comfortable this way. He decided to look around to distract himself. Someone had a small dog in a contraption that looked like it was supposed to be for a human child.
"Are you okay, Hunter?" Mrs. Noceda's voice was quiet, but it startled him nonetheless. He turned to face her and smiled.
"Of course! Why?" Instead of answering, she gestured behind him with her chin and said,
"The conveyor is open, put that on first." They unloaded the cart and one of the workers re-loaded it for them once things were in bags- Mrs. Noceda had more reusable bags in her purse than Hunter thought was physically possible, and when he had asked about it she had just laughed and said that mothers have their own kind of magic in the human realm. He still thought about that sometimes. The workers had loaded the cart in a way that made everything fit, so he didn't have anything to carry on the way to the car. He flexed his fingers as best he could as they walked. It was a nice day out, despite the chill. The cold was from the breeze, which rustled through the leaves. He had come to love that sound, now that he wasn't worried about what it might be preventing him from hearing. It didn't matter anymore. He didn't have to be afraid.
"Was there weather like this in the Boiling Isles?" The trunk of the car popped open and they began putting the bags in.
"Yeah, especially right before the rain. Only the sky would always be darker, and the impending rain meant you would need to go find shelter. The trees never did much to protect from the rain."
"Around here, sometimes the rain is warm like bath water. Not often, but that's as close as we'll get to boiling water falling from the sky."
"Huh, that actually sounds pretty nice." His feet felt stiff as he stepped to the passenger door, but he got in and sat down. He'd be fine. Being in the car would be fine... he wouldn't be able to stand if he started cramping, but he had gotten lucky in the past. Hopefully his luck would hold out. And for a while, it did. But his mind kept going to the tense, worrying feeling. What would happen if it went over the edge while he was stuck in his seat? Thinking about it made it worse. His toes flexed on their own, and he jumped. It felt like his whole foot was bending itself in half and it hurt. He gripped the sides of the seat of the car and tried to hold very still, forcing his leg to relax, but it wasn't working. He tried shifting his weight to push his foot into the floor of the car, but the angle he was at made it worse and he instantly dropped himself back into his seat.
"Hunter? What happened? Do I need to pull over?"
"No! No, It's okay, let's just go home, I'm fine."
"Mijo, you're sweating. You look like you're in a lot of-"
"I just want to go home! I'll be okay!" He didn't mean to snap. His heart wasn't beating fast, but it was beating hard, and he was overwhelmingly aware of how cold and sweaty his hands felt on the outside while pulsing pain burned through the inside. Hunter didn't notice how fast they were going until Mrs. Noceda abruptly stopped the car. They were home. But Hunter was scared now. How could he get out of the car? He couldn't move. His hands were locked half closed and his cramping foot made it hard to think straight. He needed to be standing, but how could he even get out of the car? His heart was hammering now.
The door swung open, and cool air washed over him. He really was all sweaty now. The cramp started to fade, but he knew it would return if he tried to move. He stayed rigid in the seat, but he could turn his head to see Mrs. Noceda kneeling to look him in the eyes.
"Mijo, Hunter, what is wrong? Please, tell me so I can help." She looked so upset. For a moment, he feared she was disappointed in him. But he knew she was worried for him. And yet still...
"I'm fine, I just need a moment. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He took a deep breath, but his exhale was shaky. Her expression changed then, and now she looked... not quite angry, but something close to it.
"Hunter, you are not fine. Where does it hurt? Your legs?" He shook his head. What could he say? What did she want from him? Would he still be able to help if she knew he was messed up?
"My foot. It was cramping... It's going away now, I just need to wait a little longer. I'm sorry, I'll help with the groceries as soon as-"
"Oh no you won't!" Hunter felt like his heart stopped. He'd done it again. How could he still be so useless? He didn't have any wounds, he hadn't just come from a fight, he looked fine. He should be fine. How was he still not enough? But then, "Hunter, let me see your hands. Please." Something in her tone made him obey without even thinking. She gently took his hands, and when she tried to splay his fingers open he winced. She immediately stopped, and instead began rubbing the knuckles from the tips of his fingers down. It felt good.
"That... feels a lot better already. I..."
"Mijo. You need to tell me when you're in pain. I have medicines. I can take you to a doctor. We can figure this out. But you need to tell me, and you need to let me know when you need to take breaks."
"I don't need to take-" he stopped himself. That was a lie, and he knew it. "I never used to need breaks. The rest of me doesn't feel like it needs a break. I used to be able to carry almost twice my weight for days, climbing mountains and descending valleys. I don't understand what's wrong with me. Why can't I do what I know I can do?" His voice wavered. He felt pathetic. But Mrs. Noceda didn't waver at all, and didn't look even remotely mad at him.
"You may look fine on the outside, but there are all kinds of injuries that can be on the inside. It doesn't matter that you can't see that something is wrong. Your hurting is still real. I don't know why you're hurting, but we can find out. We have doctors. We can get you things that help. And maybe it will go away for good. But no matter what, you will not be alone. Let me, let all of us, take care of you, pobrecito. You don't have anything to prove."
"But..." He felt like he was able to get out of the car now, and he wanted to. He shifted, and Mrs. Noceda got out of the way, holding her hand out in case he wanted help. He managed on his own but knew he couldn't walk normally yet so he leaned against the car. "I'm sorry. I just wanted it to go away..."
"I know. I want it to go away too. I wish you weren't ever in pain ever again, but it's not your fault. You aren't failing in some way because of this. You're suffering. Have you ever been to a doctor for these issues?" Hunter was staring at the ground, and just shook his head. He would have rather died than complained before, so he never even dreamed of mentioning it. Sleepless nights be damned. "Okay," Mrs. Noceda continued, "Well I have something that might help for now, but we should get you to a doctor. Wait here." He watched as she walked into the house. She moved with the same determination she'd had when they had first brought her to the Boiling Isles. It made him feel... better. When she appeared again, Luz and Amity were behind her. Hunter was happy to see them, but also embarrassed. He didn't want anyone to see him like this, and now there were three of them. He waved.
"Girls, can you start bringing the groceries in? We'll be right there." Luz and Amity were engrossed in a conversation and began carrying things without a word of acknowledgement to Mrs. Noceda. Hunter was relieved they were acting like everything was fine. Luz's mom approached him with a tube sinched at one end and capped on the other. She opened it and squeezed a white gel onto her hand. "Here, let's put this on your hands." She wiped it unevenly onto both of his hands, and he rubbed his hands together to spread it more evenly. It felt greasy for a moment, but then it just felt like his hands were damp.
"You can have this." She handed him the tube. "You can put it on your feet, too. It's okay to get it in your socks, so don't worry about that at all. It takes a few minutes to start working, but it'll help a lot." Finally Hunter looked at her, and he felt a smile spread across his face.
"Thank you, Mrs. Noceda. I am very grateful for this. For everything you do for me." Suddenly she was hugging him, and he hugged her back.
"Of course, mijo. You are loved and cared for, and we want to help you as much as you want to help us."
Later that month, Mrs. Noceda took him to see a doctor. They ran tests, and took pictures of his bones with a strange machine. In the end, there was no permanent fix. There was something wrong with his nerves, and there was nothing the doctor could do. But with some gloves that helped soothe his fingers, and a cane to help with days where walking was harder, Hunter realized he could still do the things he wanted to. Mrs. Noceda liked to join him when he took breaks, and he got better about it. Whenever he wanted to help with something, his friends would be there to help him too, if he needed it. He even found that he could still carve, with his new habit of taking breaks. The portrait of Flapjack that he carved into his cane was a reward of his progress. And it really was okay.