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As Childe Ajax Tartaglia awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic narwhal. At least, he suspected he was a narwhal. For one, he was on his belly and his height perspective was considerably higher than normal. Two, he felt the urge to dunk himself in water, just really soak himself down to his bones. Also, there was the matter of his majestic tusk protruding out of the window.
Now Childe Ajax Tartaglia considered himself a man who was very good at going with the flow. Any setbacks to his plans were viewed as an opportunity to learn more about people, Teyvat, and his own weakness. The first time his body changed, he gained a half a meter in height and a bigger cock. The last time his body changed, the heretical teachings of the abyss endowed him with a massive boost of fighting prowess. Overall, unexpected transformations had been positive experiences.
However, Childe Ajax Tartaglia was no longer a man, but a narwhal, and he promptly freaked the fuck out.
“Waaaaaaaaaaaauuuggghhaha!!”
“Help! Help!”
Paimon and Lumine looked up from the list of commissions at Katheryne’s post to see a man running towards them.
“You! You’re the Traveler, yes?” The man, pale-faced and soaked from head to toe, was on the verge of hysterics. “I have a most urgent commission for you! Please! It’s—it’s—well, you have to see it for yourself.”
“Paimon a little tired of escorting balloons across the Nazuchi Beach.” The fairy turned to Lumine. “Should we go check it out?”
“I don’t see why not.” Lumine slid the clipboard back to Katheryne with an apologetic smile. “We might come back later if we have the time.”
“Thank you so much." The man shook Lumine's hand enthusiastically. "I’m hoping your vast experience will give me a solution or at least an explanation. Follow me.”
**Story Quest** The Harbinger’s New Groove
Meet the man at the beach below Tenshukaku (Navigate)
“Waaaaaaaaaaaauuuggghhaha!!”
They heard the noise far earlier than they saw the source. Lumine scrunched her nose as her teeth rattled in her mouth.
“What the heck is that? It’s hurting Paimon’s ears.” The pixie raised the cape that normally fluttered behind her above her hand in an attempt to block out the sound.
“That is the source of my problem,” said the man miserably. "I have a small home that I rent out to visitors. Since it’s a short ride by boat to the city; it’s quite popular and a massive source of my income. However, when I went to check on the fellow that was staying there, I found this instead.”
Lumine froze as she rounded the cliffside and the home came into view. “How did a whale get in your house?”
“Waaaaaaaaaaaauuuggghhaha!!”
“I don’t know!” said the man. "The young man who was staying there is a frequent visitor. He stops by once every six months, always pays more that I ask for, and leaves the place immaculate. I don't think he has anything to do with this, but I haven't seen or heard from him in several days."
Lumine came closer to the blue tail fin that was sticking out of the home. It was flopping every which way; it was clear that the whale was very distressed.
“Waaaaaaaaaaaauuuggghhaha!!”
"I'll do my best to get to the bottom of this," said Lumine as the whale's call caused her spine to realign. "In the meantime, I'll keep you notified if I have any updates."
"Thank you so much, Traveler." The man bowed to her once more as he took his leave. "May the Almight Shogun bless you!"
Paimon looked into a window. "It doesn't look like there is much room and everything is falling apart. Paimon will stay outside to give you a little bit more room, but call if you need anything."
Scrunching her nose, Lumine shimmed along the whale fin to enter the residence. The whole thing was a puzzle; someone a whale magically appeared inside of the home without warning, and everything around her was wet. She dodged a chunk of falling ceiling and made her way to a bedroom that contained the front of the whale. Lumine’s stomach dropped as she recognized the vivid red scarf that was resting on the chair in the hallway. Walking further down, a familiar uniform confirmed what she suspected.
“Tartaglia?”
“Waaaaaaaaaaaau—!”
Lumine climbed over the rubble to get closer to the front of the whale. After a bit of navigation, she entered what appeared to be the bedroom, a drenched pillow off to the side. The whale’s blue eye was staring at her, wide and panicked.
“You’re Tartaglia, right?”
The whale responded by summoning a tidal wave and soaking her from head to toe.
“Ugh, unbelievable, even as a whale you’re still able to easily control your Vision. Look, I’m sure whatever happened here is temporary, but I’m going to the best I can to get this resolved. I already have an idea of a couple people I can ask. But in the meantime, just try not to panic too much. Can you do that for me?” Uncertain of what else to say, she gave the whale a (hopefully) comforting rub along his blubber.
The whale, Childe, tried to nod as his magnificent horn broke more of the windowpane. Outside, Paimon's shrill voice uttered a tsunami of expletives.
Lumine would never admit, not for a billion mora, that she found the sight of a blushing whale just a little bit cute.
**Story Quest** Why Do We Even Have That Omamori?
Make Your Way to Narukami Shrine
“And what makes you think I think I can help?”
“This has yokai mischief all over it," replied Paimon with a wag of her finger. "We’ve met a few other yokai in our travels, but we don’t think they have the ability to pull this off. You are, after all, the greatest yokai that Inazuma has ever seen. Even if you didn’t do it, we still believe that you’re the one best suited to help us.”
Miko gave a dramatic sigh as she snapped the novel in her hands shut. “Well, Little Ones, since you did pay me a compliment, I won’t keep you in the dark too long. I admit it, I am responsible for this unfortunate predicament. But to be fair, it was an accident.”
“The latest craze in the light novel business is titled Help! My Royal Advisor Tried to Poison Me, Instead, I Turned into a Llama. I planned to have a special event in the next Irodori Festival where the grand prize would be allowing someone to see the world in the main character’s point of view.”
“You were going to turn people into llamas?” Lumine asked in a puzzled tone.
“Oh, nothing so crass. I would place them in a meditative state, attach their consciousness to an object, and allow them to control an illusionary llama puppet while their physical bodies were carefully monitored under the care of the shrine.”
“Paimon thinks she’s following along. But how did that end up with a Harbinger as narwhal?”
“I was in a brief testing phase when the Harbinger made his way to the Grand Narukami Shrine to pull a fortune. I trust you remember Gendou Ringo?”
Lumine nodded. Gendou Ringo was the shrine maiden who worked at the Fortune Slip booth. Lumine helped extract her from the Fatui with the help of a Shuumatsuban agent named Momoyo.
“Our dear shrine maiden rushed to me in tears when she realized that she had given out the omamori I had been testing. She didn’t know who she gave it to." Miko shook her head, her ears swaying with the motion. "Very unexpected, Darling Ringo is one of my most reliable shrine maiden's; it's unlike her to make such a mistake. With your part of the story, it’s clear that she had a frightful scare when she recognized the Harbinger, and in her shock, gave out the wrong item.”
“Is she okay?” Lumine asked. "I doubt Tartaglia was here after her."
“She's doing fine. I suspect that the rational side of her kicked in once he left; someone of Tartaglia's lofty position would have no interest in a simple shrine maiden. Now since the omamori was in a testing phase, this is where the issues arise. The object responded to his energy, that is to say, his hydro vision and his constellation of monceros caeli. With my skill and someone of his power, the illusion crafted became realistic and tangible. But make no mistake, his human body is comfortably encased inside his narwhal exterior.”
“Whoof, that’s a relief,” said Paimon as she clutched her chest. “Now that we have an explanation, what’s the solution?”
“We have two options. One, we can wait out the illusion until the Harbinger’s energy levels whittle away due to lack of food. Based on my estimate, that would be sixty-seven weeks from now. And I think the Tsartisa would notice one of her favorites went missing for that long." Miko gave a dramatic sigh. "That leads us to our second options, collecting enough Naku weed to cover the illusionary puppet. The plant’s natural affinity toward electro will be enough to disrupt the energy flow and cause it to break.”
Lumine groaned in exasperation; a headache was beginning to form. “Miko, he’s the size of a house.”
The kitsune gave another one of her mysterious smiles. “Well, then. I suggest you start picking as soon as possible, Little One.”
**Story Quest** Oh, Yeah. It's All Coming Together
Pick 999 Naku Weeds (Navigate)
Achievement
BOOYAH!
Collect enough naku weed to cover a narwhal
“Ugh, if Paimon sees another naku weed again, it will be too soon.” She held out her tiny fists for Lumine to see. “Paimon’s hands are tingling from chaining it together. At least Yoimiya and Shinobou were nice enough to help us out.”
“Waaaaaaaaaaaauuuggghhaha!!”
“Ohh, he’s still going,” Lumine said miserably as they approached the beach home. “I guess I’ll forgive Tartaglia for the permanent ear damage. He has been a whale for three days. Are you ready to get this over with?”
"Uhhh, Paimon's not going to help." Lumine glared at her freeloading loafer of a best friend. The pixie rushed to clarify. “It’s not that Paimon doesn’t want to help, it’s that Paimon’s trying to spare him the embarrassment by having as few people see him all...um...narwhaled.”
Lies. Paimon spent a great deal of time asleep in her pocket dimension and it was way past her normal bedtime. Still, Lumine would admit that Paimon had certainly put in a considerable effort in collecting the naku. She had to have a great deal of concern towards Childe to hold out this long. Besides, if she were in the same position, she wouldn’t want anyone to witness her existence as a beach washed creature.
Lumine bid Paimon goodnight as Childe let out another bellow.
“Waaaaaaaaaaaauuuggghhaha!!”
“Childe, I’m back!” She called out as she approached. What was left of the half-standing house was gone, the remnants sodden by Childe’s constant bursts of hydro. Childe had rolled closer to the shore, a sad, lonely creature amid the moonlight.
Childe gave an echoey honk in reply.
“I have all the naku weed that we need,” she said as reached over to stroke the tusk on his forehead. “Hold tight and in another hour, you will be back to normal.”
And so, Lumine reached into her pocket dimension and pulled out the chains of naku weed that were delicately woven together. A pleased, low bellow came from Childe as she wrapped a garland around his tusk. It was obvious that the naku weed began to work right away, the image of the whale becoming more distorted and translucent as she tossed more over him.
“Waaaaaaaaaaaauuuggghhaha!!”
Just as Lumine began to fear that she was going to be short on the naku weed, the illusion shattered. There, in all of his glorious nakedness, was a stupefied and exhausted Harbinger.
“Aack!” Lumine slapped a hand over eyes as she caught sight of his toned thighs, glistening and wet. “Childe, where are your clothes?”
“Give me a break, Lumine.” His voice was weak, barely heard over the gentle lapping of waves against the shore. “I sleep naked; I didn’t think this would happen when I went to bed.” He groaned, a deep rumble that sounded a bit like his whale cry. “You know Inazuma is one of my favorite places. I just wanted a few days in the training domain with Shiki Taishou and instead, this happens. Ugh, what a mess.”
Lumine spread her fingers to take a peek at Childe. Yup, still naked. “There’s some naku weed tied around your junk,” she said, trying her best to seem completely unaffected by the sight even as her mouth dried out.
Like a beautiful ribbon around a present.
“Thanks,” he mumbled, the humiliation palpable. She could hear the rustle of clothing being slipped on. “Please don’t ever mention this to anyone. Ever.”
She made a non-committal noise and took another glimpse between her fingertips. Childe was in the process of buttoning his trousers; Lumine mourned the visual loss. Lowering her hands, she noticed a fox sitting patiently near the beach shore, its coat shimmering in the low light. Remembering her instructions from Miko, she followed Childe to the remains of the cottage as he collected the few of his belongings that weren’t ruined. After a bit of searching, Lumine located the flawed omamori next to the crushed bed frame. The last thing anyone needed was another innocent bystander to fall victim to it.
“I’ll tell you what. Since your place to sleep is trashed, why don’t you spend the night with me in the teapot? It’s just you and me since Paimon’s already called it for a day. You can leave whatever you have to do until tomorrow.” She stumbled around the saturated wood, nearly losing her boot in the drenched sand. A fox sauntered in Lumine’s directions, its eyes glowing an unnatural violet.
“Lumine, that would be amazing, truly." Childe raised a hand to sweep his damp hair out of his eyes. "Honestly, all I want for tonight is a warm meal and to feel like a man again.”
“That sounds easy enough,” Lumine replied as she dragged her eyes along the sight of his torso, exposed from his unbuttoned shirt. Even in the moonlight, she could see the definition of his muscles. It was all too easy to imagine the many, many, ways she could make him feel like a man.
Bending down, she held out the omamori. The fox gently took the amulet from her hand, its teeth pressing on the sides of her fingertips. Withdrawing her realm dispatch, Lumine wrapped her arm around Childe’s, his breathing stuttering at their sudden proximity.
The fox blinked as they disappeared into the dark. A moment passed, a flash of purple, and it too, was gone.