Chapter Text
Some people don’t follow traditions. They prefer to live life according to their own compass, free to make their own mistakes and learn from them. That was Toph Beifong once. She ran away from home when she was only twelve years old because she felt trapped by her own parents and their rules. She traveled the four nations with her friends: Avatar Aang, Katara, Sokka and Zuko. They became her family. They all had to grow up fast during the final stretch of the Hundred Year War. And they did, with each other’s help.
When it was all over, she funded the Metalbending Academy where she taught metalbending to earthbenders willing to learn the new art. After the formation of Republic City, she became its first Chief of Police. These jobs taught her the value of having a structured life, a map to navigate the ups and downs of adulthood. She understood the significance of traditions. She realized that she lacked some important life skills even though she could handle herself pretty well on the battlefield. She promised herself things would be different for her kids. She would try her best for Lin and Suyin, even if they thought she was cold and distant, she loved them more than anything.
Toph felt the knock on the door of her office more than she heard it. Su. She’d been using her fingertips to feel the different patterns of the image made of metal, a photo of her two daughters that she kept on her desk. Lin had made it for her when she mastered metalbending all those years ago. Toph didn’t care that the image reveled a much younger version of the two.
“Come in.” Toph said while putting the photo back on its place. She could sense that Suyin was apprehensive and fidgety. “Is there something wrong? Do I need to arrest someone? You, perhaps?”
“No, mom! Spirits, you always jump to the worst conclusion!” Su crossed the office and sat down across from her mom.
“Yeah, well… If you had my job, you’d likely think the same way.”
At that, Su scrunched her nose. “Nah, let Lin have it.”
“So, if nothing’s wrong, why is your heart beating out of your chest?” Toph was curious now.
“I need to tell you something but I don’t think I’m gonna like your reaction to it.”
“Well, that was cryptic. Spit it out already!”
Su looked down and closed her eyes for a second. “Here goes nothing… Ok, uh… I met the love of my life and he asked me to marry him.” She said almost out of breath.
“What?” Of all the things Toph thought her youngest daughter would say, marriage was definitely not on the list.
“And I said yes.” Su held her head high now, conveying the seriousness of her words.
“Wait, but you’re only 18!” Toph’s brain was struggling to form cohesive thoughts.
“So? And you were only 12 when you ran away from grandma and grandpa. I know Baatar is the one for me. Why does our age matter?”
The words hit like a boulder to her stomach. “You’re still a kid! And who is this guy?”
Su let out a sigh and slowly said “No, mom, as you pointed out, I’m 18. An adult. And Baatar is a wonderful man. He’s going to be an architect.”
“You know I have a rule…”
Su cut her in. “Yeah yeah, I can only marry after Lin marries because she’s older blah blah. Like that will ever happen. You know how she treats guys who want to take her out on a date. Please mom, this is a stupid rule! You have to see that.”
In other times, the Chief would have made a joke about not being able to see that, but in this moment Toph needed to center herself, needed to feel the earth below her feet, so she stood up. “It’s not stupid, it’s something my family did for generations and I intend to bring this tradition back!”
“Ugh! This is so unfair! Lin decided she’s going to be miserable her whole life and now she’ll drag me down with her.” Su left the office slamming the door behind her. She had tears in her eyes.
“I have my reasons, kid.” Toph sat back down.
***
On the other side of Republic City, the young Officer Beifong was finishing her patrol, oblivious to what had happened in the Chief’s office moments ago. Lin had joined the police force as soon as she was old enough to take the test. She passed with flying colors and was very proud to belong to the group on her own merits, without the influence of her mother. She wouldn’t have it any other way.
Lin had plans tonight. It was the same thing as almost every day, but she didn’t care about it as long as she got to see Kya and unwind. They normally meet up at Kya's place, also known as Air Temple Island, to talk about their days at work, anything and everything. Lin usually talks about the strange things she sees while patrolling and Kya usually talks about some difficult case she assisted at the hospital where she worked as a healer.
She was pulled up from her thoughts by a voice she couldn’t quite place. That happened a lot, it was easier for people from all over the city to recognize her because of her profession and last name, than it was for her to recognize everyone she ever helped while performing her duties.
“Hey Beifong! Heading home?” said the voice, a man she still couldn’t place.
“Ah, hey… you. Not yet, no.” Lin was making an effort to sound more sociable. Not that it was working or anything.
“I thought for sure you would have settled down with someone by now. You know, have someone at home waiting for you. It’s nice!”
Ah… the question… The question she absolutely hated for many reasons. Settle down with someone? Like she couldn’t be happy alone. By now? She’s only 24! She has her whole life ahead of her! And not that she wanted to be with anyone, she had tried that once. And it was a disaster she vowed never to repeat. No, she was great by herself, thank you very much.
Putting a stop to the tirade happening in her head, she gave her standard answer “I’m already married to my job. Have a good night.” and continued her path to meet up with Kya.
She couldn’t stop thinking about the many guys her mother tried to match her up with after what happened with Tenzin. Each one met a worse fate than the other. That put a smile on her face. She was creative with the ways of getting away from them. Once she simply threw dirt in the face of the guy, another time she tightened the poor man’s metal bracelet until he had tears in his eyes. Once she even pretended to be crazy, came down the stairs holding a melon and yelled “I’m not Lin! I’m melon lord’s daughter!”. That one even made Toph laugh. No guy wanted to see her after that. Just as she liked it.
It took Kya a total of two seconds to see that something was bothering Lin more than the usual happenings of her difficult job. That was one of the many reasons why she liked Kya, she could read her emotions better than Lin could ever express it with her own words. Kya was one of the few people she knew she could count on. She could trust her with her feelings without fearing the judgment that usually comes from other people.
After greeting Lin by the door and sensing she needed to talk, Kya forgo their usual spot, a bench by the shore of the island overlooking Republic City, and dragged Lin to her room where they could have more privacy. When they were comfortable, both women sitting cross-legged in Kya’s bed, Kya waited. She knew Lin was working out what she wanted to say in her mind and would talk when she was ready. She didn’t need to rush her.
“I’m tired.” she finally said, defeated.
“Why do you say that?” concern in Kya’s voice.
For a brief moment Lin smiled. “You sound like the therapist we sometimes are obligated to talk to after something serious happens on the job.”
“Good!” Kya laughed at the comparison. “I still can’t believe Toph made this rule. I mean, therapy is important and all but try and talk about feelings with the Chief! But don’t you try to sidetrack me, I’m here to listen, whatever it is.”
“It’s silly.”
“Not if it’s hurting you.”
“No but seriously, you sound just like him!”
Kya playfully slapped Lin’s thigh, they both laughing. The laughs always come easy with them. Lin took a deep breath, no longer avoiding the subject.
“I’m tired. You know, soooo tired. Like the weight of the world is on my shoulders all the time. I feel pressured. To be the best Officer, to take my mother’s place as Chief eventually… those are the big things, but lately even the little things are bothering me, like this guy today.” Lin stopped abruptly, frowning.
“I understand this pressure you feel. I feel something similar, with being a healer like my mom, not to mention my dad… We can’t do anything about our roots but it’s important to talk about how it makes us feel, we have to understand we can only do our best and be good people.” Kya took Lin’s hands while she talked.
“Yeah, I know.” Lin squeezed Kya’s hand as if to thank her for the support.
“You said something about a guy too. What happened?” Kya remembered.
Lin let go of her friend’s hands to cover her own face in frustration. “Argh, that…”
“Tell me.” Kya said softly.
Lin uncovered her face and looked at Kya. “It was just… that question! It made me so mad! Just the cherry on top of my day, you know.”
“Lin, honey, I know it looks like it sometimes but I still can’t read your mind. What question?”
“When are you settling down?” Lin said in disgust. “You know, that kind of question. I hate it! And after what happened with Tenzin I vowed never to go through that again! Never!”
Kya got very quiet for a moment seemingly deciding how to proceed. “I’m not trying to poke the polar bear dog here, but… And don’t kill me! It’s just a thought. Don’t you think you and Tenzin were only mismatched? I mean, he wanted to have kids to save the air nation or whatever and you don’t want any. Granted, you guys could have handled it a bit better there at the end, but that doesn’t mean there’s no one out there for you.”
“Yes, it does.” Lin almost whispered it. “I know there’s no guy out there for me.” She looked embarrassed but kept on talking. “I never felt anything for any guy, not even Tenzin. I think I only got together with him because people kept saying we looked cute. Talk about pressure. Something’s wrong with me. I must be broken.”
“Lin, look at me. Really look at me and hear what I’m saying.” Kya waited until Lin did as she was told. “There is nothing wrong with you. Nothing. You hear me? You are perfect. You are perfect to me. And if you really don’t want to be with anyone, that’s fine too. But don’t close your heart just because you’re afraid you lack something. Okay?”
Lin said nothing but laid down in Kya’s lap, needing the comfort and time to process everything.
***
With her friend on her lap, Kya started to free Lin’s hair from the seemingly hundred metal pins that held it all together in that amazing hairdo so she could run her hands through the slight wavy locks. She was fully aware that Lin could free her own hair with a flick of her wrist but chose to feel the contact of Kya’s hands. That was one of the little signals that confused Kya so much.
Kya could admit to herself that she had a major crush on her childhood friend, but she never had the courage to confess the attraction to Lin because she never heard her even mention the possibility of a relationship with a woman before, even though Lin knew Kya liked girls from a very young age. She also didn’t want to ruin the friendship by mentioning it and making things awkward when Lin eventually rejected her. So she took as many as those little moments of proximity as she could. It was better to have Lin like this, as a friend, than to not have her in her life at all.
What she heard Lin say broke her heart. It was rare for Lin to be so raw and honest with her emotions, so those thoughts must have been running though her mind for some time. Kya couldn’t stand to see Lin suffer. She had to do something. But what? Lin must be the one to ask for help, or else there’s no way of knowing what she needs. She could only be there for her like today. But if she does ask for Kya’s help, she would do anything to not see that defeated look on Lin’s face again.
***
Later that night, Lin was enjoying a glass of wine in her living room when she heard a knock on her door. Willing the person to go away didn’t work so she got up to see who it was.
“Su? Is everything alright? You look… like you’ve been crying.” Lin was in her big sister mode immediately.
“Nice of you to care.” Su spat the words. “It’s all because of you!”
Lost for words, Lin just waited, dumbfounded.
“Yes, that’s right.” Suyin continued. “You are ruining my life, you know that? I wish I was born first so I wouldn’t have to wait for you to find someone to marry. Clearly you don’t want anyone but mom will never accept that and who pays the price? I do! But I’m telling you, I will marry Baatar even if I have to run away and never see you guys again. I will do it!” Su was crying again.
“Wait Su, slow down, I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
Su brushed her tears away and looked at her sister. “I’m in love, Lin. Do you know how that feels?”
Lin doesn’t. And she didn’t point that out.
“Baatar is a wonderful guy.” Su kept going. “He asked me to marry him and I said yes. I’m so happy! Or at least I was until I talked to mom about it.”
“Oh.” Lin finally understood.
“Yeah, oh. She won’t let me do it because of that stupid tradition. So I came here hoping you would help me.” Pleading eyes looked at her.
“But I can’t do anything! I can’t convince mom, you know that. She didn’t listen to you and she won’t listen to me.” Lin was so confused.
“She won’t listen to you, you’re right, but you can do something.”
“What?”
“Find someone to marry. I don’t care who. Just marry anyone and get a divorce after I marry Baatar. I swear Lin, if you don’t do it in a month, I will run away with him and you’ll never see me again.” Su was dead serious.
“Are you insane?!”
“Don’t test me on this, Lin.” With that, Su left the apartment.
Lin fell heavily on her couch, fingers already searching for that glass of wine.
Her relationship with her sister wasn’t always the best, and she had a scar to prove it, but she found a way to forgive her little sister. After all, they were family. The thought of never seeing Su again wrecked her. She loved her sister with all her heart and wanted to protect her from all the pain she unintentionally caused.
But marry someone? How can she do that?