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When the machine, which randomly gave out the tickets, first paired Jaiden up with Roier, she was quite content with the outcome. In the few days they’d spent on the Quesadilla Island, she got to know the people that arrived with her a little bit. While she still didn’t know anything about Roier, he seemed quite nice and it could be a lot worse.
Not to say that any of the other people on the island were necessarily bad people, she’s sure that they were lovely, but some of them seemed to be too different from herself. Roier is also not that similar to her but they just fit well in her opinion. And Roier also spoke better English than she spoke Spanish, so communicating was easier with him.
Getting Bobby was probably the best thing that could've happened to her. She obviously didn’t know it back then but this kid quickly became the most important thing in her life. After just a few days, Jaiden couldn’t bear the thought of the child in the blue overall getting hurt.
Roier was a great dad to Bobby, which surprised Jaiden a bit. Not that she thought the younger one would be a bad father but Roier came off as a bit immature to her at first, as he was the youngest on the island. But in reality Roier was actually responsible and careful with Bobby while still letting his boisterous side shine through sometimes. He took him on adventures while still protecting him. He built the furniture for Bobbys room and made sure to spoil the little boy as much as he could.
So everything was fine. She had a child that she loved dearly and a partner that could not be a better parent to that child. Everything was fine,right?
Now here’s the problem. Roier had a reputation on the island of being excessively flirty and making sexual jokes all the time. That itself was not a problem for Jaiden, the younger man can do what ever he wants. The problem is that Jaiden is the complete opposite of Roier in that sense. She kind of always knew that she was asexual and also aromantic. She can't help but feel guilty, especially after seeing the other couples on the island.
Foolish and Vegetta were already calling each other husband and clearly in love, even after the cheating rumors. The grief of loosing JuanaFlippa seemed to have brought Slime and Mariana back together, even though they were dealing with the grief in a very unconventional way that Jaiden would rather not think about. Wilbur and Quackity definitely had some sexual tension going on, according Roier.
Missa and Philza were the only couple that was strictly platonic since Phil was married to some goddess apparently, Roiers words not hers. The other parents like Fit and Maximus were more or less single because their partners were generally absent fathers. And Badboyhalo was single but he didn’t seem to mind.
So half the server was in love with their assigned partners or someone else. And because of that, people started speculating about their relationship. Nothing too serious, just the usual gossip that travelled around the island. Most people assumed that they were in a romantic relationship as they were both single beforehand and seemed to get along well. And maybe from an outside perspective it did seem like they were in love or something. But love - in any sense beyond a platonic one - is something Jaiden couldn’t give.
It made her feel like she was letting Roier down. She felt so stupid for it too because why couldn’t she just be normal? Why couldn’t she just give him the love he deserved? Roier was always so nice to her, letting her basically live in his house, giving her stuff to protect herself and Bobby, checking in on her every day to make sure she was okay. Overall he was a caring person to everyone around him.
He was attractive and loyal and funny. He was patient with teaching her Spanish. He always made sure to include everyone in the conversation. He took care not only of his child but also of the other children on the island. He was a great parent to Bobby and an amazing friend to everyone. He loved loudly and wholeheartedly. And here she was not feeling an ounce of attraction towards a man that actually listened to her and took care of her. She truly admired the younger man but that was it.
At the same time, she knew that it wasn’t really her fault. She couldn’t force feelings that were non existent. No matter how much she wanted to be in love with someone as amazing as Roier, she would never love anyone in that way. There was nothing wrong with that and in theory she knew that. She just needed to keep telling this to herself until she couldn’t fully accept herself.
She had already come a far way. In the beginning she hated herself for being aromantic and asexual. Part of that was not knowing much about it and feeling very alone. Over time she learned that she couldn’t change anything about it, no matter how hard she tried to be in relationships with other people. For the most part, she was happy and didn’t think much about it. But sometimes she’d fall back into the habit of being harsh to herself, especially in a time full of stress.
And this was definitely a time of stress. Not only the stress of being trapped on a island with a bunch of strangers and then having to raise a child with one of the strangers. That stress was already enough but the daily fear of her or Bobby or Roier dying to the dangerous monsters and animals on the island really stressed her out. Just yesterday Jaiden almost died multiple times to them and Bobby got severally hurt. Fortunately Roier came to help her because of course he did.
The most stressful issue though was her fear of disappointing Roier. You see, Jaiden hasn’t told Roier that she was aroace, she hasn’t told anyone on the island. And now she was afraid that he had expectations of their relationship, which she couldn’t meet. Of course he was been very respectful and since she knew him better now, she didn’t think that he would force her to do anything.
No of course Roier was not that kind of person, he’d accept a no immediately without questions. And yet she was afraid that he would be disappointed if he found out. Especially since he told her that he was a very romantic person. And his sexual jokes and remarks just added to Jaiden feeling like she’d disappoint him if he found out.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
So here she was, standing on the bridge that lead over the river in front of Roiers house, leaning against the railing, after putting Bobby to sleep. It was already late at night since the Bobby was feeling a bit rebellious today and kept on running away from her when she tried to get him ready for bed. The moon was shining through the cloud, casting a soft light on the bridge. She looked at the distorted reflection of the moon in the moving water in front of her.
Roier was currently working on the castle he built behind his house. While he might not be as talented of a builder as Foolish or Vegetta were, his builds were very pretty to her. She was so deep in thought that she didn’t even hear it when Roier called out for her. She only noticed the younger man’s presence the moment he stood next to her and bumping his shoulder into hers. Jaiden flinched and a yelp escaped her mouth. She looked at Roier with surprise while clutching her chest. She’s always been very easy to startle but especially since she’s been attacked at night recently, she was very on edge.
“Jesus Christ”, were the only words she managed to breathe out. Roier laughed sheepishly. “Lo siento, I didn’t mean to scare you, Jaiden. Didn’t you hear me? I was calling you.” Jaiden shook her head as she recovered from the shock. She let her gaze wander from Roiers face back to the reflection of the moon on the water.
“Sorry, I guess I spaced out”, she said in a somber tone. If she had looked at him, then she’d notice the way Roiers face fell upon hearing the sad undertones in Jaidens voice. He hesitated a for a second before bumping his shoulder into Jaidens again. She looked back at him. “Hey are you okay? ¿Estás bien?¿Qué pasó?”
She should’ve known that Roier was observant and caring enough to immediately notice that something was wrong. Screw that man for being so nice. She sighed before turning her gaze once mores since she couldn’t look him in the eyes without wanting to cry. For a few seconds there was silence filled with hesitation. Jaiden was chewing on her bottom lip, debating on whether she should confess to Roier the reasoning of her being upset.
She thought about just lying and telling him that she was tired but she already knew that Roier could read her like an open book. There was no real point of keeping this secret any longer. A second sigh escaped her lips before she cleared her throat. “I have to tell you something Roier. Something I haven’t told anyone on this island.” She could see Roier nodding out of the corner of her eye, encouraging her to go on with talking.
She took a deep breath before she continued. “Have you ever felt like something is wrong with you,Roier? Like you’re not normal or like you don’t belong somewhere?”, without letting him answer, Jaiden continued on. “Well that’s how I feel every time I look at all the couples on the island. They are all so in love with each other, romantically or at least sexually.”, she paused for a second to look at Roier. He didn’t interrupt her but looked at her with curiosity. Her voice started to whaver as she went on. “I have never felt like that, Roier. With anyone. And I never will. I am aromantic and asexual.”
Tears started to well up in her eyes before rolling down her cheeks when she looked away from Roier again. She didn’t know why exactly she was crying. It could be from the fear of disappointing the man in front of her. But it could also be because of the relief of finally saying it out loud after keeping it to herself for so long. Now her secret was out.
For a few seconds the only noise that could be heard were the sounds of nature around them and Jaidens quiet sobs and sniffles. Roier opened his mouth and closed it again like he was trying to find the right words. “Can I hug you?” were the words that he decided on in the end. Jaiden nodded silently and let herself be engulfed in a pair of two warm arms. She leaned against Roier and mumbled a quiet “I’m sorry” against his shoulder.
She could feel Roier take a deep breath and hugging her a bit more tightly before starting to speak in a wavering voice. “You have nothing to apologize for.” She opened her mouth in an attempt to argue but Roier didn’t let her. “I know what it’s like to feel wrong or like you don’t belong.” Jaiden backed up s little to look at Roier with confusion in her eyes. “I know joke around a lot but I’m gay, Jaiden. And I know this isn’t a problem here on Quesadilla Island but I’ve been places. With people that don’t like people like me, and you.” The look on Jaidens face changed from confused to compassionate. “I know it’s not the same thing because at least I have people like me here on the island but I just wanted to let you know that I get it. But there is nothing wrong with you or me.”
Roier being gay was not necessarily something surprising. He had a reputation of flirting with everyone and since most of the people living on the island were men, this lead to him flirting with exclusively men. But most people just thought that he was joking. He had a charming personality and liked to joke around. He hadn't told many people that it wasn't just a joke.
“Fuck you, why are you so nice?”, Jaiden said while the tears were starting to build up again and she pulled Roier in a hug once more. She could feel him laughing before hugging her back. After a few seconds Jaiden let out a sigh of relief. “And here I thought you’d be disappointed because I don’t feel any sexual attraction towards you.” That made Roier laugh again. “Don’t laugh at me. I was genuinely worried that you’d hate me or something.”, she said in a offended tone, while finally pulling away from the hug but she couldn’t stop herself from grinning.
“I am so sorry”. Roier really tried holding back his laughter but that just made him laugh harder. His laugh was so infectious, that it made Jaiden laugh as well. It took them a few moments to calm down before they could look at each other again without bursting out in laughter again.
“Man I guess we really were matched perfectly. I got a man that is not attracted to women and you got a woman that is not sexually or romantically attracted to anyone” Jaiden smiled softly at the man in front of her. “Hell yeah we make a great team. The best if you will.”
They both smiled at each other for a second before Jaidens smile faded again as she thought back to the words Roier had said to her earlier. “The people you were talking about at these other places.”, Roier smiled sadly and nodded slightly. “Did they hurt you?” Roier stayed silent and looked away to the side, he was biting down on his bottom lip in an attempt to not cry before nodding slightly. The sharp breath that Jaiden took made him drop his head, he was looking at the floor while still trying to fight the tears.
This time it was Jaiden who asked if she could hug Roier, who immediately nodded. The moment Jaiden wrapped her arms around him, a sob escaped his lips and he pressed his face against her shoulder. This was the first time that he actually told anyone about what roughly happened to him. He felt Jaiden pressing a small kiss on his temple and then hugging him a bit tighter. Her hands were slowly caressing his back as she held him.
They stood on the bridge just holding onto each other for while before s shivering breeze made them go inside. Roier turned to Jaiden after he closed the door behind himself and started to laugh quietly. “Just look at the two of us being little crybabies” he explained in response to Jaidens confused look. “I’m glad Bobby is asleep, that little brat would've laughed at us for crying so much.”
The two of them spend the next few hours just talking about everything. Jaiden told Roier about her struggles with self acceptance and Roier told Jaiden about his struggles with discrimination and violence. Many more tears were shed. It was already early in the morning when they finally went to bed but it was worth it.
"Wait does that mean that you actually have a crush on Spreen?"