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It was a regular hunt. The Winchesters did some research and were getting ready to go to sleep. Dean was going to retire to his bed (a double, for a change) and then soon enough it would be a day of following up on leads. A totally normal day. That was, until there was a knocking on the motel door.
Silently, both brothers grabbed their guns and were ready to fire when Sam opened the door. They both aimed at the man who was standing there out of habit before realising who it was.
“Cas? What…Are you okay?” For the first time ever, they saw Castiel with large black wings hovering behind him. ‘ They’re beautiful.’ Dean thought from his place by his bed.
“Yes, but, I–” His sentence was abruptly cut off by his fall to the ground, followed by a heavy thud.
Castiel woke up in Dean’s bed, accompanied by Winchesters on both sides of him.
“Cas, man, are you okay?” Dean asks, aware of the repetitious element of his phrase in comparison to Sam’s.
“I’m fine, I just need to rest.” Dean and Sam exchanged a seemingly synchronised glance and then turned back to look at the angel.
“Um, Cas, you just fainted. I don't think you’re fine.” Dean suggested, his voice heavy with concern.
“I’m fine.” Cas responded, his voice stern–forcing his answer on the Winchesters.
“Ok, ok, yeah, sure.” Sam said before turning his attention to Dean, “Can I talk to you outside?”
“I was just thinking the same thing.”
They grabbed their jackets and threw them on before finding their way out into the crisp Vermont air. Dean smeared a hand over his face and began speaking, “What the hell?” He asked, as if Sam somehow knew all the answers.
“I don’t know.” Sam responded.
“Seriously, what the hell?”
“I don’t know!”
“He has wings! And, and he fainted–I didn’t know angels could faint!”
“Let’s just calm down, okay? He said he needed to rest, so let’s just let him sleep then tomorrow morning we can try and work out what happened.” Sam proposed, and Dean nodded in acceptance.
“Ok. Yeah, good.” They’re about to go inside when Dean looks up in realisation and stops Sam from going in.
“Where’s he going to sleep?” Dean articulated as if it was the world’s most pressing question in the world that the greatest scholars spend their lives trying to understand.
“Where he is, in your bed.” Sam answered as if it was someone asking him what two plus two was.
“Where am I going to sleep?”
“In your bed, you can share with him. It’ll be like a sleepover.” Sam made his way to the door and Dean let out an exasperated breath before following.
Cas’s wings were tucked around him and his eyes looked as if they were struggling to stay open.
“Hey, Cas, Dean’s going to share a bed with you tonight and we’ll talk about everything in the morning.”
“Ok, I will… I’ll make room.” He shifted to the side of the bed and moved under the covers.
“Great, good night guys.” Sam flicked the lights off and found his way into his bed. Dean tossed a thick jacket and his shoes to the side so he was just wearing a short sleeved black shirt and jeans.
He wearily crossed over to his bed and slid in on the side that Cas was not occupying. His heart was racing and his breath hitched in his throat, completely unprepared to share a bed with his best friend (who he doesn’t have any feelings for, why would you think that?). It was a completely platonic friendship. Just a couple of straight guys sleeping together.
The thought crossed Dean’s mind to put a pillow in between them, but he decided it would be better for it to stay under his head. He allowed himself a glance over to see if Cas was asleep, and he was–so he lay back down on his bed and let sleep take over.
“ No, no, no, please no. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.” Cas was muttering in his sleep, and the words awoke the hunter beside him.
“Cas?” Dean asked, an element of confusion in his voice. Confusion was replaced with pure concern when he noticed the quivering wings next to him.
Dean delicately reached out to touch his shoulder, to try and wake him up. When it didn’t work he began to shake him, whispering his name over and over again, with growing intensity each time.
Eventually he woke up, crying from his nightmare. He turned around to face the person who was holding his shoulder with such care and attention, a small smile rose when he realised that it was Dean.
“Dean?”
“Yeah, Cas, what is it?”
“Thank you.” There was such tenderness in his voice when he said those words, they almost made Dean melt into the mattress.
“No problem, Cas. Really, don’t worry about it.”
“Yes, well, thank you.” He wiped lingering tears from his face, which were quickly replaced by a couple more. Dean wiped them off with his fingers before rescinding them from his face. Castiel hid his face from him after he took his hand away, as if he didn’t want Dean to see him like this.
It was then that Dean noticed his wings were still shaking, he reached to try and soothe them but stopped mid-reach. “Can I?” Cas nodded in approval and shut his eyes in anticipation.
When his hand came into contact with his wing, Cas let out a shaky breath. “Is this okay?” Dean whispered to him, he wasn’t sure why he whispered but it seemed to fit the mood.
“Yes, Dean. Thank you. Just please be careful, they’re very sensitive.”
“Of course, Cas, I will.” He ran his hand down the entire width of Cas’ wing. He seemed to enjoy it, so he stroked him again. Cas lightly hummed at the contact, so Dean did it again. He felt down the entirety of his wing length-ways, width-ways, diagonally–everything you can possibly imagine. With a sense of accomplishment in his gut, he stopped stroking his wing and returned to his usual sleeping position.
“No, Dean, please.” He didn’t expect Cas to say anything, definitely didn’t expect him to plead.
“What, Cas? What is it?” It seemed that whatever trance Cas was put in by the contact to his wings had stopped, and he could see clearly again. Not bothered with that pent up need inside him, well–at least he could control it now.
“Nothing.” Cas rolled over in the bed so he no longer faced Dean, and went back to hiding from him again. ‘ Probably scared’ Dean thought to himself, despite the fact that he too was terrified of being this close to his friend.
“If you don’t want to talk to me that’s fine, but you can–whenever you like. I’m here.” His hand returned to his place on his shoulder and everything seemed to be all too familiar.
Cas didn’t know what to say, he had never been at a complete loss for words before. He had never seen Dean talk like this before. He would be lying if he didn’t say that he loved every second of it, but especially loved how Dean seemed to so easily be able to caress him and bring him back down to Earth.
But he couldn’t say any of that. He knew of his love for Dean Winchester, and he knew that his love was completely unrequited. If he dared to vocalise his emotions he knew that he would lose him forever. And that would be worse than anything he could possibly imagine.
“Go back to sleep, Dean. I’m fine.” His voice was low and sad, it shattered Dean’s heart into a million pieces when he heard it.
“No, you’re not. Just tell me how I can help.” Of course, he couldn’t tell Dean how he could help; couldn’t tell him about his dream where he confessed his feelings and Dean kicked him out, saying cruel words about how he never wanted to speak to him again. This conversation seemed to be going in the same direction his conversation in his dream went.
“I can’t tell you, Dean. My biggest fear is losing you. If I talk to you about what’s concerning me, I’m afraid you’ll…” His voice is shaky towards the latter part of his sentence, Dean thinks he’s crying but he can’t see with Cas’ back to him.
“It’s okay. It’s all okay. Can you look at me?” Cas doesn’t know if he can, if his body will allow him to. But this is what Dean wants him to do, and Cas would do just about anything for Dean if he asks him to. So, he turns over–tears welling in his eyes, distracted by Dean, all of Dean. So close, so unimaginably close. But not close enough.
Neither of them knows what to say now, but they’re both so comfortable. Sure, there’s the tension in the room, but there’s always some kind of tension. There always is when it comes to this close proximity, but they’re fine with that.
“Can you tell me what you dreamt about?” Dean asks, ever so softly, with a strong temptation to run his fingers through his straight best friend’s hair.
Castiel realised that he could tell him just part of the dream. Part of the dream where he doesn’t share any groundbreaking information. Anything to keep Dean here with him now.
“I dreamt that you kicked me out. You said that you never wanted you to see me again, and that you hate me and will never stop hating me.”
“Why did I do that?” Dean wasn’t angry, he just didn’t understand. Couldn’t comprehend a world in which he would send Cas away, the man that he just wants closer. Impossibly closer.
“Because I told you something.” Cas simply stated, nervously fidgeting with his hands. He knew Dean would ask questions, questions he didn’t know how to answer.
“Like what?” Dean asks, a hand resting softly on his arm.
“If I tell you, I fear the same thing will happen now.”
“It won’t. I promise you, it won’t. Cas, I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you, and I would never, ever, want to stop seeing you. Now please, what is it?”
“I’m in love with you.”
There it is. The great confession, the confession that leaves Dean starstruck, his mind racing for an answer. “Oh.” Is the only thing that comes out, this emotionless, flat, ‘Oh.’ As soon as he says it he wishes he could take it back.
“This was a mistake. Please, go back to sleep. Forget I said anything.” He started to climb out of bed, unsure of where he was going. His wings are trailing behind him. “Please go back to sleep, Dean.”
“If you go anywhere I’ll kill you myself.” Dean jumped out of bed and held Cas by his arms, willing to forcefully get him to stay if it really came down to it.
“I didn’t mean to say that. I just didn’t expect it, that’s all. What-what I meant to say was that I-um-I…” His voice trails off and he's still searching for the right response. How is he meant to decide whether he loves someone in a second? Cas has always been straight to him, and maybe he feels a little different when he talks to him. But that’s normal, right? Right?
…No, Cas wasn’t straight and he was in love. With a male-presenting person. Not a man.
“I think I love you too.”
“Dean, it’s fine. You don’t have to…What?” The realisation set in.
“I love you. Now, I’m tired so can we please just go back to bed?”
“...Okay.”
Dean got into bed first and gestured for Cas to take the space beside him. He does and they lay next to each other for a couple of seconds (which seem like hours.)
“Okay, enough of this.” Dean kisses Cas on his lips and then snuggles up onto his chest. His head placed perfectly into the nook of Cas’ neck. He’s stunned, but moves a hand up to support Dean and cloaks his wings across their bodies.
‘If I really have him, I’m not going to let anything hurt him. ’ Cas thinks to himself, and soon enough they are both drifting off to sleep.
~~~
The next morning, Sam wakes up to the sight of a sleeping angel and a hunter, legs and wings wrapped together. Dean’s body seemingly physically attached to Cas’. He smiles at the sight, and then basically leaps to punch a number into his phone.
“Hey, Charlie?” He asks when the person on the other line picks up the phone. “I won the bet.”