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1. VS the Venerable of Empty Words
The Doyles heard the loud pop announcing that one of the back tires in their rental car had become flat. The one on the left, to be specific.
Frank turned off the engine to look out the window and contemplated his options along with the landscape. Although, since they were on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere in rural China, all the couple could see in every direction was grass, mountains, grass, mountains, and a few trees, not necessarily in that order.
Sunset was coming and, with it, the new moon, which meant they had better fix the tire before they were left in darkness. Worst yet, they would have to do it themselves since there was no one around they could either bribe or hire to help them.
“Called it,” said the cloud of black smoke floating on the backseat in a deadpan tone.
“You did!” Frank said as he unfastened the seatbelt and opened the door. “Just like you’ve been calling every other thing coming our way, like the map being stolen by a hawk. Or that giant branch that nearly fell on top of us! That could have killed us, you know?”
“While we couldn’t stop the hawk, knowing about the branch helped us avoid it, so thank you,” Sadie said. She followed her husband out and took the opportunity to stretch. “Who would’ve thought picking up a hitchhiker would be so helpful? We should’ve done it before.”
“To be honest, Sadie, I don’t remember picking this one up,” Frank mused as he looked for something in the trunk. “Aha! Here’s the flashlight!” he exclaimed as he picked it up.
“The batteries are dead,” said the cloud, who had also followed them out of the car. True to his statement, when Frank tried to turn the flashlight on, it flickered a couple of times before turning off. “You won’t find replacements for kilometers and kilometers around.”
“I don’t remember either,” Sadie continued, “but our little friend continues to share all this useful information with us!”
Frank shook the flashlight, hitting it against his hand a couple of times before giving up and putting it back in the trunk.
“I guess.” He sighed. “A torch it is, then. Help me find a good branch to set on fire, Sadie, dear.”
“Your fire will be bright and mighty,” said the black cloud. “So big that it will devour the entire field. It will expand to the forest and it will take both of you along with it. It’ll guarantee you a painful death.”
“Oh! I’d better not do that, then,” Frank said. He went back to musing, leaning against the car and folding his arms. “How long until dawn?”
“Enough for countless horrible things to happen,” the cloud said. “And for a lot of horrible creatures to appear, both dead and alive.”
“That sounds just like New York,” Sadie replied.
“Let’s have a picnic under the stars! Even if there is no moon tonight, we don’t get to see these many stars back in New York.”
“It’s about to get cloudy,” the cloud said. “Dark and ominous clouds will cover the sky any minute now.”
“That’s alright. We can still lie down and sleep in this nice weather.”
“Those clouds carry within them a storm,” announced the little one next to them. “They have enough water to flood the valley and drown every creature around us.”
“That leaves us going back to the car,” Sadie said, following through as she spoke.
One moment later, the three of them, Frank, Sadie, and the black cloud were back in their seats. As soon as they closed the doors, the promised storm unleashed, accompanied by thunder and lightning.
Since they were warm and dry inside, Sadie took the chance of getting the couple’s emergency flasks from the glove compartment, passing one to her husband. They drank in happy silence for a while as they watched the water falling against the windshield. It didn’t last long, though. Contrary to the dark cloud’s prediction, the storm just came and went.
“I’m hungry,” the black cloud said in a most pitiful way after a minute of silence.
“Luckily, I remembered to pack some sandwiches before we left the hotel,” Sadie said. “I’ll go get them.”
“They’re stale. More than stale, they’re rotten by now. You’ll die when you eat them. You’ll also slip in the mud, break your neck, and die after three days of horrible pain. Besides, I don’t eat sandwiches? Or human food, for that matter.”
“No?” Frank asked. “What do you eat?”
“Fear.”
“Ah! Is that it?” Sadie exclaimed. “Have you been trying to scare us all this time to get some sustenance? You should have told us!”
“Yes. Lead with that next time, old chap. We would have told you that it wasn’t going to work. Sorry you’ve wasted your time.”
“Poor thing. Now you’ll have to go back to that farm we saw hours and hours ago.”
“Do try to spook a squirrel on the way.” Frank lowered the window to let the black cloud out. “It should make a decent to-go snack.”
The black cloud hovered on the backseat for a moment before taking the advice.
“You’re worse than that scrap collector!” he yelled as he left, and it did sound like he was crying.
“Poor dear,” Sadie said.
“Let this be a lesson for all of us to state our business at the start of any interaction,” Frank concluded.
Not long after the dark cloud on their backseat had left, a farmer on a large truck passed by. He had working spare batteries for the flashlight, and he was able to help them with their tire in exchange for Sadie’s sandwiches, which turned out to be in perfect condition. Because like hell they were going to repay him with even a drop of their liquor.
In any case, they were now ready to continue with their quest.
2. VS the scorpion snakes
Around midnight, the Doyles ran into a large building in the middle of the field. A middle-aged woman paced in front of the door holding a lamp, but she waved at the approaching car as soon as she saw it. Frank and Sadie were tired, so they did stop right before hitting her, in the hopes that it was a hotel.
“Welcome to my family’s land, weary travelers,” she said, leaning through their open window. “May I ask what brings you here?”
“Hello, there,” Frank said. “We’re looking for a nice place to spend the night before continuing our journey at a more convenient hour tomorrow.”
“I see.” Her grin stretched as far as a human’s could go, and her eyes widened in wild joy. Her laughter trembled right before she spoke again. “Well, aren’t you in luck? Do you see that building over there on the other side of the road? We’re trying to open an old-fashioned hotel, but we need feedback on the beds. I was wondering if you would mind helping us. We can offer you not only a night free of charge but also a nice breakfast in return.”
“Free lodging and free food! That sounds like my kind of deal,” Frank said. “What does my lovely wife say?”
“Your lovely wife says that it does sound great,” Sadie replied and, with that, it was settled.
The building across the road was dustier than what the Doyles were used to, but it was quite charming and the Feng Shui was adequate. A few drinks increased the charm and made them forget about the dust, just like it happened at home. Once they took care of that, Frank began his way up the stairs.
“Come on, Sadie. We need to perform a thorough test on those beds. Lasting about eight hours, I’d say.”
“Or more.”
“Or more!”
Unfortunately, they didn’t go further than a couple of steps before a hissing sound called their attention.
“Frank, dear, was that you?”
“I don’t think so. It came from behind that countertop. I would say it’s probably the wind coming from cracks in the wall. I will add that to my feedback form so they fix it.”
“Great idea.”
Yet, as they were about to take another step, they heard more hissing coming from different directions, followed by intense rattling.
“Frank, I’m not sure that’s the wind. What if it’s a fearsome band of thieves with maracas?”
“You’re so perceptive, my dear. I hadn’t thought of that. I’ll go check.”
So he did. Frank went down to where the hissing came from and took a peek behind the furniture. Then, he returned to his wife’s side.
“Well, it’s not a band of thieves with maracas, that’s for sure.”
“What is it?”
“Just a bunch of cobras with scorpion tails.”
Sadie pressed a hand to her chest and sighed in relief.
“Ah. I thought it’d be someone trying to steal the case with our drinks. I can breathe again now.”
However, as she spoke, one of the snakes slithered its way up the countertop and, like a terrible scaly cat, pushed over the bottle the Doyles had left there for later. With a sound that resonated like thunder in the otherwise silent room, the bottle crashed onto the floor. Glass shards flew in every direction, and the liquid inside, precious and loved, was lost forever, wasted, absorbed by the carpet, and transformed into a stain.
Sadie’s sigh of relief became a gasp of horror. Frank’s tormented scream had to have reached the main building across the road. Both of them took a step back, looking for purchase that would allow them to remain standing. They found it only when they reached the wall.
“How… how despicable…!” Sadie said.
“This—This is war!” Frank declared, finding courage from his desperation.
“War!” Sadie chorused, raising her closed fist.
At that moment, an intense knocking came from the door. Intense and urgent.
“What’s that?” Frank asked.
“Reinforcements?” Sadie said.
“For whom?”
“For us! Sneaks can’t knock. They don’t have arms!”
“Oh, right! Once again, your perception powers are at work, my dear. I’ll get them.”
Frank leaped over the railing and hurried to open the door. On the other side there was this cute, tiny ghost, and her tall companion.
“Excuse me, were you the one who screamed?” she asked.
“As a matter of fact, yes, we were. Are you here to help us?”
“Yes! Yes, that’s why we’re here! Can we come in?”
“Get in, get in,” Sadie called from the stairs. “Just mind the snakes, dears.”
“Thank you,” the ghost girl said, walking in and followed by the tall fellow. She bowed to both Frank and Sadie. “I’m sorry. This is all my fault for not keeping an eye on them.”
“An eye on… Oh!” Frank exclaimed when the scorpion-tailed snakes crawled to the girl’s bare feet and climbed up her legs without hurting her.
“We promised General Hua we wouldn’t break into people’s houses without permission again. That’s why we needed an invitation to come and get them.”
“So polite of you. However,” Frank continued, frowning and arms akimbo, “your oversight with your pets has already caused terrible casualties, young lady.”
“That poor, poor bottle of whiskey!” Sadie lamented, wiping the tears escaping from the corners of her eyes.
The ghost girl blushed and bowed and apologized several times, sounding truly remorseful.
“Please, accept our apologies,” said the tall man, bowing as well, although he only did it once. “Maybe we’ll be able to repay you,” he added, reaching into his pocket for his money pouch.
Sadie stopped him with a gesture.
“No amount of money can compensate for the moral damage. But perhaps there is another way you can make it up to us. Show them the label, Frank.”
“Right away.”
Frank brought out from his pocket a label carefully removed from a bottle. The name and the logo were clear and easily distinguishable.
“A couple of weeks ago, as compensation for services rendered, we got a bottle of this liquid nectar of the gods, a divine elixir that caressed our taste buds with its silky smoothness and sent a warm, blissful sensation throughout our bodies with every sip.”
“Sadly, it was over too fast,” Sadie said, “and there’s no way to get a hold of the gift-givers to know where they got them from.”
“Because they passed to a higher plane.”
“So now we’re here, looking for the place of origin.”
“Oh, I know this seal,” the ghost girl said. “It’s from Ghost City.”
“What a magical-sounding place! Where can we find it?” Sadie asked.
“I can show you if you have a map,” the tall man said.
“Unfortunately, it was stolen by a hawk earlier today,” Frank replied.
“Oh! But there must be another one around here!” Sadie called. “Or maybe our gracious hosts can share one with us.”
“I’ll go ask,” Frank said. “You three look for one here.”
And so they did. The ghost girl even had her snakes help look in nooks and crannies as penance.
About half an hour later Frank came back with the map and all but dragging the woman who welcomed them into her family estate. She walked with her head low and her arms folded in front of her, the very image of shame.
“Tell them what you told me,” Frank instructed her.
“I thought you were dead,” she began.
“Well, Frank and I are not. I don’t make any promises about those two, though,” Sadie said, pointing at the ghost girl and the tall man.
Although she avoided looking at them, the woman shuddered before she continued.
“When you screamed, we figured you’d died and freed us from the curse of the scorpion-tailed snakes.”
“What curse?” asked the ghost girl. “They came here only because it’s warm, and you kept ignoring me when I tried to talk to you about coming to collect them.”
That took the woman aback.
“You were trying to—? I thought you wanted to add another curse to my family!”
“I wouldn’t! I promised General Hua!”
“No point in dwelling in the past,” Sadie said. “It’s all cleared up now. Your hotel is free of snakes,” she said, pointing at their host and then to the ghost girl, “you got your snakes back, we got a map and the information we wanted, and you…” She trailed off while looking at the tall man. “Did you get anything from this adventure?”
“We have shared custody of the snakes,” he said from behind the ghost girl.
“Ah, of course.”
That solved, the Doyles chased everyone away so they could finally go to sleep.
“Please, give our regards to General Hua,” the ghost girl said the next day as the Doyles got in their rental, ready to leave. “He lives in Ghost City.”
“I’ll definitely do that if I remember,” Frank said. He turned on the engine. “And I already forgot.”
“General Hua has free access to the distillery,” the tall man said.
“General Hua, got it. It’s now branded in my brain for the rest of eternity. I can feel we will be the best of friends.”
“We’ll tell him you’ve been very helpful, dears. Have fun and don’t forget to keep close track of your snakes.”
“I won’t,” the ghost girl said again, thanking them for the last time.
3. VS Qi Rong
The Doyles’ map showed only the location of Ghost City, not a suggested route, so they had to make it up as they went along. However, while the shortest route between two points was a straight line, sometimes that line was broken by cliffs and rivers. Thus, they had to get creative at several points.
“We should rent a helicopter next time. I’m not sure I can endure all of this more than once,” Frank said after their seventh detour to reach a bridge. They were halfway through their case of spirits and the heat didn’t relent.
“Perhaps on the way back we could. They must have something in a place called Ghost City.”
“And we pay someone to drive the car back to the rental store. That works.”
What wasn't working, however, was that the road they had taken led them to a swampy area, and the tires were becoming increasingly mired in the thick mud. They ground to a stop with the bridge they needed to cross teasing them just a handful of steps ahead of them.
“What shall we do, darling?” Sadie asked. “Should we… Should we go out and push? ”
Frank tried to make the car go a couple more times before rubbing his face.
“As much as I too dread manual labor, dear, I’m afraid we’re going to have to do that. It’s either to cross the bridge or to go back. Going back would force us to a three-day detour.”
Sadie folded her arms and pouted.
“Three days? I refuse!”
“Me too. However, unless we find ourselves a sucker—” Frank interrupted himself when leaves rustled around them following an unsettling pattern. “Is it me or the wind did not cause that noise?”
Sadie’s eyes sparkled with the hope of not having to do the pushing themselves.
The couple left the car and waited next to it. The rustling grew louder and louder until they could hear whispers and laughter coming from beside them.
The ghost who appeared next to the Doyles wore flowy green robes and a deranged expression. His jaw was opened as a snake’s at feeding time, showing huge, pointy teeth. Furthermore, he kept cackling, loud and crass.
“Let your miserable eyes feast on this ancestor’s face! It will be the last thing you’ll see in your fucking lives!”
Frank frowned and folded his arms.
“Young man, I strongly advise you to watch your mouth in front of my wife.”
“And don’t let your jaw hang down like that, dear,” Sadie said. “I’m sure you’ll look more handsome if you close it. Yes, that’s it. There you go.”
The malignant ghost, likely unused to being spoken to like that, looked quite confused. He didn’t just close his mouth. He also stopped laughing.
Before he could recover, the Doyles struck again.
“We’re Frank and Sadie Doyle. What’s your name?”
“I’m Qi Rong! The Night-Touring Green Lantern! The Green Calamity! Why aren’t you bowing? Cower before me, you—”
Frank raised his eyebrow.
“If you’re not going to follow that up with something nice, it’s better that you don’t finish your phrase.”
“Are you part of some posse?” Sadie asked. “Or is it you working on your lonesome?”
Qi Rong made a face at Frank. However, when he answered, he didn’t open his mouth as much.
“I am not part of anything! I’m the boss of a bunch of worthless idiots who should be here already!”
“Now, now, is there really a need to insult others?” Sadie asked.
“Yes!”
“Perhaps you should invest time and effort in getting better minions,” Frank said.
“Are you offering?” Qi Rong asked.
“Absolutely not,” Frank replied. “However, I do think it’s an idea worth considering.”
“I’m sure you have a lot to offer,” Sadie said. “Reputation, wealth… Power?”
“You can bet your ass— your alcohol that I have all of that!” Qi Rong replied, amending himself on the go when he noticed the stinky eye Frank was giving him.
“Our alcohol is out of limits, ghost boy,” Sadie said as if she hadn’t noticed a thing. “But we’d love to help you get better minions, wouldn’t we, Frank? So, why don’t you give us a demonstration of how powerful you are? Then, we can pass the word along.”
“There is no one in the ghost realm who doesn’t know who this ancestor is!” Qi Rong yelled, offended.
“And yet, you seemed to be having problems hiring good help,” Frank said.
“We know first-hand how difficult that is,” Sadie said. “The trick is to market yourself the right way.”
“What do people know of you?” Frank asked. “Come on, give us a list.”
Qi Rong looked from one to the other, but he gave in when he got encouraging nodding and hand gestures.
“I am strong and dreadful! The gods in the heavenly realm have me on the list with the other Calamities for a good reason! I instill terror in my followers, and I eat them!”
“Stop. Stop right there,” Frank said. “You eat your followers? Well, if you don’t mind my saying so, that is your problem.”
“That isn’t just frowned upon in decent company, ghost boy,” Sadie said. “It’s also terrible marketing. The opposite of what I just told you to do.”
“All the smart minions will go to the other Calamities—if they’re not doing that already.”
Qi Rong clicked his tongue.
“White No-Face is still trapped under a mountain. Black Water doesn’t want anyone close to his territory. But Crimson Rain…” He growled. “They all go to Crimson Rain and his stupid city!”
“I’ll allow that word. But just this once,” Frank said. “Say, that city wouldn’t happen to be, perchance, Ghost City?”
Qi Rong grumbled.
“Like you wouldn’t know.”
“What a wonderful coincidence!” Sadie said. “That’s our destination! We could definitely put in a good word for you with any ghosts or other creatures we come across.”
“I’ll have you know that we can be very persuasive,” Frank said. “I’m sure we can talk several of the smartest ones into coming to work for the Night-Touring Green… what was it?”
“Night-Touring Green Lantern.”
“That’s the one!”
“But you’ll have to promise not to eat them,” Sadie said. “At least not the best ones. No leadership manual would recommend that to encourage loyalty.”
“Trust us,” Frank said. “You want them to be loyal. It’s very important if you want to expand your realm of terror. Because you want to expand your realm of terror, don’t you? Grow in strength and reputation?”
The Doyles kept firing all those words and phrases at Qi Rong while the ghost looked from one to the other trying to keep track of the information. But he got a hold of the last ones: ‘expand your realm,’ ‘strength,’ and ‘reputation.’ Since that was, indeed, what he wanted, he waved his hands in front of the couple.
“Fine! Fine! Tell everyone about this ancestor and his power! And that I won’t eat anyone who comes to work for me and makes themselves worth it!”
Frank clapped the ghost’s shoulder.
“That’s the spirit! No pun intended,” he added after a beat.
“We still need that demonstration of power, though,” Sadie said.
“What do you want? I can throw your car to the other side of the river with my left pinky!”
Frank scoffed.
“Anyone can do that. I have a better challenge for you: lift our car with us inside and, with all the care in the world, place it on the other side of the river where it’s dry. That will show two things: that you are strong, of course, but more importantly, that you have control. Raw power without finesse or skill is futile.”
“You want to have that control, dear,” Sadie added. “You’ll command more respect.”
Qi Rong gritted his teeth.
“Get in the car! I’ll show you the power and the control this ancestor has! Prepare to be awed!”
“We’re preparing! We’re preparing!” Frank said, grinning as he hurried into the car, followed by Sadie.
Once the doors were closed and the couple had their seat belts on, the Green Calamity lifted the car using only his pinky fingers and carried it across the river, placing it on the road in such a way that the couple inside barely felt it.
“There! It’s done! Now go and tell everyone about this ancestor’s prowess! Especially my dog of a cousin!”
“Will do!” Frank called, waving his hand from the window.
“We’ll tell everyone we come across!” Sadie said, winking and throwing a kiss. “It must be so nice to have a puppy as a relative, don’t you think so, Frank?”
“They can’t speak and the veterinarian's consensus is against sharing your alcohol with them, so yes, it must be nice.”
That said, Frank started the engine and drove away. The last thing the Doyles heard from Qi Rong was that horrid cackle he made when he returned to the other side of the river.
4. VS their own expectations of Ghost City
The Doyles cried out of joy as they crossed the limits of Ghost City. They parked their rental in front of the first bar they saw, grateful for their good luck. It wasn’t just that they would finally be able to acquire the liquor they were looking for; their liquor case was nearly empty and it needed to be replenished. They planned to buy a bottle or two—or three—and then find their way to the distillery to get one or two boxes and, with any luck, set up a deal for them to have a steady supply of the elixir sent to their home in New York on a regular basis.
Ghost City turned out to be a quaint little place. Enough supernatural entities had come and gone through the Doyles’ apartment despite their best efforts that nothing here came across as surprising or shocking. On the other hand, the locals were also used to mortals coming and going through the city. Thus, they passed side by side through the door of the bar as if the others didn’t exist or were completely irrelevant—just like in New York.
The bartender, a ghostly figure dressed in ancient robes, welcomed them as they sat down on the stools, which were surprisingly comfortable despite being made for spectral derrieres. The interior of the bar had a harmonious mix of ancient and modern decor, but the main attraction was a large collection of bottles behind the counter that, despite not being the brand they looked for, made both Frank and Sadie salivate.
“So, what’s your poison?” the bartender asked.
“Just some old-fashioned whatever traditional thing you have on the rocks,” Frank said. “As an appetizer.”
“Same for me, please.”
The bartender grew two more arms so she could prepare both drinks at the same time. She grabbed ice, the mixer, and some bottles from under the counter, and got to work.
“What a great service!” Sadie said. “And so efficient! What would it take for you to come to work for us, dear?”
She let out a coquettish and lovely laughter that came through the holes in her jaw.
“I appreciate the offer, but I’m quite happy working here.”
“Perhaps you’ll have some relative with the same skill set?” Frank asked.
“I do have a second cousin,” she said, handing them the glasses.
Frank took it with one hand and offered his card with the other.
“Ask this cousin to give us a call. We’ll see if we can arrange something.”
The bartender ghost, always grinning, put the card inside the lapels of her robes with a fifth hand.
“Count on that, sir.”
“Frank, you have to try this!” Sadie exclaimed after taking a few sips from her glass. “It’s delicious!”
“On it, my love. On it!”
He drank the contents of his glass and his eyes rolled backward.
“Delicious!” he exclaimed, a second sip followed by a moan. “Not exactly the same as what we’re looking for, but in the same neighborhood for sure.”
“Oh, right!” Since it was Sadie’s turn to safeguard the label that day, she took it out of her purse and showed it to the bartender. “We’re looking for this delight.”
A quick look was enough for the bartender to understand what they were asking for. It was obvious on her face. She looked Sadie in the eye before dropping the bomb.
“It’s out of stock. You won’t find it for sale anymore.”
Frank’s half-full glass slipped his hand and shattered on the floor. Sadie’s survived because she had placed it on the counter beforehand.
“What—what do you mean?” Frank gasped.
“We’ve come all this way!” Sadie pleaded.
“I’m charging you for the glass,” the bartender said, dispassionate. “I meant what I said: it was a limited edition. They made it for Hua Chengzhu’s birthday last year. But since Granduncle doesn’t drink much, neither does the lord mayor. Thus, he never asked for more to be made.”
“Doesn’t drink?” Frank repeated with a faint voice. “Never asked for more?”
“What—what kind of monsters—?!” Sadie exclaimed, clutching her chest in terror.
“Breathe! Breathe, Sadie! Breathe!” Frank said while he grabbed the counter so he wouldn’t fall. “We’ll find a solution. There has to be a way.”
“We came all the way here, braving all kind of—of inconveniences to find out there is no more?” Sadie wrung her hands and took that deep breath. “Frank, oh, Frank, we need this General Hua person. The one those ghosts said has free access to the distillery!”
“Right, right!” Hope came back to Frank’s eyes as he turned to the bartender. “Where is this General? General Hua? Would you be so kind to point us in his direction? I’ll tip you double!”
The ghostly bartender scratched her chin with one of her hands while the others finished cleaning Frank’s mess.
“Unfortunately, I can’t think of anyone with that name. However, if you are looking for someone with complete freedom to roam wherever he wants in Ghost City, that’s Granduncle. He’ll talk to you if you ask. He speaks with everybody and he likes helping people in need. You’d only have to wait until he’s back. He’s out answering prayers.”
“We are in need. Very, very in need. When will he return?”
The bartender shrugged all five of her arms.
“Who knows? Can be tomorrow, can be three weeks. He never stays away longer than that and he left some ten days ago.”
“That means we’ll have to wait eleven days! Eleven! Can we wait that long, Sadie? Are we that strong?”
Sadie grabbed a fistful of Frank’s sleeve.
“Yes, Frank. We are. We have to! Especially if we make camp here.”
“Here? Right here as in this bar? Yes, that will help a lot to calm my nerves.”
The bartender did a good job of hiding a grimace behind a polite customer service smile.
“Dear and valued customers, if you don’t mind my meddling, why don’t you go out and explore Ghost City? You’ll find plenty of other and better bars that may be more of your liking! Besides, there is a chance of you running into the General you’re looking for.”
The couple looked at each other for a moment in which the will to live came back to both of them at the same time. With a shared sparkle in their eye, they agreed to the suggestion and left the bar hand in hand to wander around the streets.
They found several establishments, among them many bars whose quality covered the broadest range. Everywhere they went, they asked their questions and, once or twice, they mentioned Qi Rong, since they had promised.
No one knew of a General Hua, but they did of the Night-Touring Green Lantern. He was Granduncle’s cousin, who hated him. However, since the locals loved this Granduncle, they hated Qi Rong too, more out of principle than because of his cannibalistic tendencies.
“I get it!” Sadie said. “It makes sense that people love him since he’s a puppy!”
“Wonderful reasoning, my love!”
The Doyles got the third and most important piece of information from a ghost who worked as a gardener in Paradise Manor, the lord mayor and Granduncle’s residence.
“I’m pretty sure I’ve seen untouched boxes full of this liquor in the manor.”
“When was that, my dear friend?” Frank asked, squeezing Sadie’s hand.
“Yesterday morning when I went to collect my payment,” the ghost said with a shrug.
“Do you think Hua Chengzhu would be willing to give them away?” Sadie asked. “Since he’s not going to drink them anyway.”
“I don’t think so,” another ghost chimed in. “He may take a bet, though.”
“Yeah! It’s likely he shows up at the Gambler’s Den tonight. Now that Granduncle’s been away for a few days, it’s going to be a real slaughter!”
The announcement was received with cheers and laughter by everyone present.
“What exactly do you mean by slaughter?” Frank asked.
“Listen, I think as highly of Granduncle as anyone else, and he’s not opposed to ears being cut off. Or fingers.”
“A leg or a hand when warranted,” said another ghost, raising her glass.
“But whenever he’s around, Hua Chengzhu restrains himself. We only get to see guts when Granduncle is out of town.”
“Pray tell, what did these fellows do to deserve such mutilation?” Frank asked.
The closest ghost shrugged.
“It’s not about deserving. It’s about them betting and losing.”
“So, you can bet body parts for big prizes?” Sadie asked.
“When you have no money or nothing else that interests Hua Chengzhu, yes. Are you planning to go? You could bet your eyes. You have nice eyes,” the ghost said. “I’d keep them for myself.”
“Aw, thank you! That’s so sweet,” Sadie said.
“I’d appreciate it if you stopped flirting with my wife,” Frank grumped.
Sadie patted his hand, but he still glared at the ghost for a moment longer.
“I guess we’re going to the casino tonight, aren’t we, Frank?”
“Yes, and right now we’re going shopping. If we’re doing this, we’re doing it in style!”
5. VS Hua Cheng
When the night came, the Doyles were as ready as they could ever be. Just in case, Sadie had smuggled some jewelry sets from home—most of them cursed—in a hidden compartment in the wine case. They planned to start with those before moving on to more juicy bits—literally juicy and literal bits.
Making a grand entrance was no easy feat amidst the roaring laughter, fights breaking out at every other table, pleas for mercy, and blaring music. However, the Doyles managed it through sheer force of will and Sadie's dressy attire, which she wore with the poise of a queen. The noise didn’t die down but it lowered when the patrons turned their heads to see them pass.
Frank was happy to be paraded in his wife’s arm all the way to a table with two empty stools, which they took before addressing the croupier. All twenty eyes on the croupier’s head and neck shone when Sadie bought her way in with a handsome necklace.
They won that round.
And the second one.
And the third.
The night was still young and there seemed to be no end to the riches they kept winning. But that was just the beginning. To acquire what they truly desired, they needed to call the attention of the lord mayor, who was currently engaged in sulking on a throne in the back of the establishment, behind a red curtain, apparently bored beyond mortal comprehension.
Then, a gang of ghosts began yelling and accused the Doyles of cheating. Even those who hadn't even played against the couple joined in. The point was the chaos and the noise.
“What’s going on over there?” bellowed the Ghost King from his throne.
“Cheaters, my lord! They’re cheaters!” the lowlier ghosts claimed.
“I will not have cheaters in my house! Bring them here!”
“Finally the man behind the curtain has paid attention to us!” Frank exclaimed.
“Know that deceivers won’t be tolerated here,” Hua Cheng said when the Doyles stood before him.
Everyone around them hooted and cheered. Frank waited until the noise died down to raise a glass he had taken from a tray on his way there.
“And they shouldn’t,” he declared.
Sadie raised another glass.
“It’s not good for the bottom line,” she said.
Hua Cheng then addressed the ghosts and assorted humans and creatures in the casino.
“So, what’s your proof of their cheating?”
The hooting stopped as the ghosts stared at each other.
“Well… they’re… Uh.”
“They—”
“—keep winning and winning?”
One bulky cyclops elbowed the guy next to him, the one with a chicken head.
“Didn’t you say that you saw them keeping cards under their sleeves?”
The chicken eyes glanced nervously from the cyclops to the Ghost King.
“I just said that they were winning so much it seemed like they might be having cards in their sleeves…”
As he spoke, an angry aura extended from the throne behind the curtain all the way to the back of the room. An instant later, the chicken head exploded. A cloud of feathers floated down, until they lay on the ground on top of a layer of blood and chunks of brain matter. The rest of the body fell down with a loud thud.
The cyclops shivered, unsure of whether he would be next. The other ghosts resumed their ruckus, the lust of gore shining in their eyes, but they all fell silent when the Ghost King spoke again. Or more like when he yelled at them.
“Do any of you scum have actual proof of cheating or will you insist on making me waste my time?”
The sparkle of violence abandoned the ghosts’ eyes and, after a quick glance from one to the other, they scattered and went back to their games.
Hua Cheng grumped and, going by what little could be seen from the other side of the curtain, he rested his chin on his elbow while he resumed tapping the throne’s armrest with a finger.
Sadie and Frank took another step forward so the cleaning staff could do their job and remove the chicken man’s remains.
“It seems like the lord mayor despises liars as much as cheaters,” Frank whispered.
“He despises just about everyone,” the guy carrying the mop answered, also in a whisper. “Except for Granduncle, of course.”
“I’m starting to feel sorry this Granduncle person isn’t here,” Sadie said. “He sounds like a nice guy.”
“He is,” mop guy said. “He should be back soon.”
“But he’s not here right now when we have important matters to address,” Sadie said with a pout.
“And we’d better get back to them. As we were trying to say, my lord,” Frank continued, in a higher volume and in Hua Cheng’s direction, “we just have extraordinarily good luck.”
“One of the best in the business,” Sadie added.
Hua Cheng turned his eye toward them.
“So now you want to make a bet with me?”
“Well,” Frank said, “we’ve won against everyone else, so…”
“What do you have to bet?”
The Doyles held hands.
“Our most precious possession: our love!”
Hua Cheng scoffed.
“What do I want that for?”
The couple gasped in horror. They felt so offended that it took them a moment to find the words.
“Frank, I’ve—I’ve never—”
“Me neither, my sweet Sadistic, but we must endure.” He lowered his voice and whispered in her ear. “Remember what we’re here for.”
“Alright,” Sadie said, after a deep breath. “Alright. We’ll endure.”
“Your lordship, we do have something else.”
“I’m willing to bet my eyes,” Sadie said. “I’ve been told they’re pretty.”
That surprised even Frank, who gasped.
“Sadie! I thought you were going to bet the cursed amulet as our second option!”
She patted his cheek.
“Oh, darling, that’s too low of a bet for what we want.”
“What do you want?” asked the Ghost King.
“Whatever is left from the liquor you got on your birthday last year. Every single drop of it.”
“Sure, why not.” Hua Cheng stood up from his throne. “Bet taken.”
The conversation called the attention of the ghosts around them again. On the other hand, they seemed to be always hanging by Hua Cheng’s every word—and they were surely after more blood.
Hua Cheng descended from the dais with an elegant and dignified step, the jewelry on his boots jingling as he did. It was a stark contrast to how he had dealt with the man with the chicken head.
“He’s taller than I expected,” Frank murmured.
“And he has broader shoulders than I expected,” Sadie murmured back.
“And he’s happily married. Don’t flirt with him if you want to live,” the mop guy whispered behind them before retiring backstage.
“It never crossed my mind,” Frank said.
“My admiration is merely platonic,” Sadie seconded.
Hua Cheng passed next to the Doyles and led the way to the gambling table. When the couple joined him, after grabbing one more drink each, most everyone had left what they were doing to surround their lord mayor’s chosen table, making sure to leave a respectful distance between them.
“You’re familiar with the rules of the game, I gather,” Hua Cheng said.
“We certainly are,” Sadie said.
“Highest number wins, obviously,” Frank offered.
“Obviously,” the Ghost King replied and nodded at the dice on the table. “Challenger goes first.”
“Thank you,” Sadie said, picking them up. Then, she shook the dice in her hand. She offered her closed fist to her husband. “Frank, for good luck.”
“For good luck, my dear,” he answered, giving her hand a kiss on each knuckle.
Half the peanut gallery groaned and the other half went, “Aw!”
Hua Cheng, meanwhile, folded his arms and looked away.
The Doyles didn’t care about any of that. After a second, they broke their bubble. Then, Sadie’s arm created a beautiful arch. The dice flew from her fingers across the table, crashing against the other side and bouncing back. They rolled a few more times until they finally stopped, showing a five and a six.
“Eleven!” Sadie chanted, raising her hands.
“Eleven!” Frank chorused.
It was now the Ghost King’s turn. He grabbed the dice and shook them. He didn’t spend as long doing it, and he didn’t have anyone to kiss his knuckles, but that didn’t seem to matter to him. However, before he threw them, a figure in white barged into the Gambler’s Den.
“San Lang!” the young man exclaimed, running toward the Ghost King with open arms. “I’m sorry it took me so long! I’m here now! I missed you so much!”
Hua Cheng’s entire attention changed to focus on the young-looking man. Instead of tossing the dice, he opened his hand without care, letting them fall. The dice didn’t roll far, if at all. They clanked on the table, showing two fives.
The ghosts behind them gasped and the Doyles cheered as they held hands and jumped around the table.
“We won! We won, Frank!”
“We won, Sadie!”
But the Red Ghost King didn’t care, busy as he was twirling with the newcomer in white. However, he was a man—a ghost—of his word, and thus, one of his servants, a man with a mask, carried the cases with the liquor to the Doyles.
“Please, leave them in the trunk. We’re parked right outside,” Frank said, tossing the keys to the man in the mask, who caught them in the air.
Frank, of course, didn’t make any comment about how cool that had been. Instead, he grabbed one of the bottles so he could start celebrating their victory with his wife right then and there.
+1 VS Xie Lian
The Doyles spent half the night partying at the Gambler’s Den and the other half partying at the inn where they had rented a room. The man in the mask drove them there despite Frank’s insistence that, since he was always under the influence, he was always fit to drive. The man in the mask, however, got straight to the point.
“It’ll free both your hands to drink at your leisure.”
“Oh! You’re right! What a great idea!” Frank patted the man’s shoulder. “Why haven’t we gotten a driver back home?”
“Because if we hire someone, then we’d have to pay them. And see them everyday!”
“Excellent counterpoint, dear.” He turned to the man in the mask. “I guess we’ll have to enjoy you while we’re here. We don’t have to pay you, do we?” he asked after a beat.
“I work only for Hua Chengzhu.”
“Fantastic!”
The next day, at noon, the innkeeper knocked at their door. The couple went to bed at dawn, so they had gotten only a few hours of sleep. If they had been home, they wouldn’t have opened the door. But they weren’t, so they dragged their feet there.
“Is it check-out time? This early?” Sadie asked. “Frank, did you ask when check-out was?”
“I am afraid that with all the excitement yesterday, I failed to do so, my love. So it may as well be.”
However, it wasn’t. The innkeeper had come to extend an invitation for dinner at Paradise Manor in Granduncle’s name.
“He’s heard a lot about you and he would like to meet you,” he added.
“Free food is free food,” Sadie said. “And I’ve been wanting to meet this Granduncle.”
“Me too. Maybe he’ll know who General Hua is and we can finally get an answer on what happened to the distillery.” Frank turned to the innkeeper. “Please, tell Granduncle we’ll be happy to attend.”
The innkeeper bowed and left, leaving the Doyles alone so they could go back to sleep for another while. They needed it and they deserved it.
A few hours later, after a hot bath, a change of clothes, and some evening drinks, the Doyles drove to Paradise Manor. It was a luxurious house, cleaner, better-smelling, and with less blood on the floor than the casino.
“What a refreshing change,” Sadie said while Frank tossed the keys to the valet parking, who turned to be the man in the mask again.
“Ah, good. Is it twice you’ve helped us now or is this the staff uniform? Either way, do it a third time and we might get you a tip!”
“You’re really kind,” the man in the mask said.
“We know, darling!” Sadie said. “Now, where shall we go? There seem to be so many passages and doors.”
“Go straight ahead the first courtyard. His Highness will be waiting for you in the first room.”
“His Highness? Is that the way to address the lord mayor?” Sadie asked.
“I thought he was a Ghost King ,” Frank said. “I’m not into monarchies and I don’t understand why anyone would want to partake in one after death, but Majesty should be the correct term, should it not?”
“Hua Chengzhu is not the one waiting for you,” the man in the mask said. Instead of elaborating, though, he went to park the Doyles’s car somewhere out of view.
“How rude,” Sadie commented.
“Indeed he was. I hereby rescind the offer of a tip.” Frank then offered his arm to his wife. “Either way, free food awaits us. Shall we?”
With delicacy and grace, Sadie grabbed that arm.
“We shall.”
On their way across the courtyard, they found several wards and protection spells. However, they weren’t active. Or, more like they weren’t active against them. The Doyles were welcomed guests in this house and there seemed to be no retaliation aimed at them, which suited the couple well.
“We already defeated the Ghost King once. It would be a shame having to do it again,” Sadie whispered.
“Besides, this is a nice house. I wouldn’t enjoy setting it on fire,” Frank whispered back.
A few steps after they reached their conclusions, they crossed the threshold of the lobby. There, they discovered that the one waiting for them was the young man in white who had twirled all over the casino with the Red Ghost King the night before. He was all smiles and sunny disposition. So much that Frank had to remind himself about the free food lest he found an excuse to turn around and leave. Or just turn around and leave. Who needed excuses.
“It would be better if he were an actual puppy,” he mumbled.
“I apologize for not being here before,” Granduncle said. “I heard you were looking for General Hua, weren’t you? I was known by that name long ago, although only a few people know about it. Did you meet Banyue and Pei Xiu?”
“Who?” Frank asked.
“The ghost girl and the tall guy with the scorpion-snakes,” Sadie provided.
“Ah, right! Yes, they were the ones who told us to look for General Hua. They said that he—that you —had access to the distillery where they made the liquor we won fair and square last night.”
“That would be correct. It’s been closed for over a year, though.”
“Any chance of having it reopened?” Sadie asked.
“Maybe we can discuss it over dinner, Your Highness,” Frank suggested.
“I guess we can,” Granduncle replied. “It’s about time too. Please, come down this corridor. Dinner is waiting for us.”
That said, he went ahead. However, before the Doyles followed him, they felt two big and strong hands holding their shoulders. When they turned, they saw Hua Cheng standing between them. Although he was smirking, nothing about him felt menacing.
“Tell you what,” Hua Cheng began. “Yes, let’s discuss it over dinner. Finish your meal and I’ll reconsider not only reopening the distillery but relocating it to your city.”
“You got yourself a deal, Your Majesty,” Frank said.
Sadie clapped her way to the dining table, where both the food and Granduncle waited for them.
“I hope you like it,” he said as everyone sat around the table. “I cooked everything myself.”