Chapter Text
Sam and the others didn’t really know how to interact with Billy the week after the attack. He was distant and seemingly wanted nothing to do with them at first. Looking at what was happening now though, they think that they preferred that to this.
Billy was acting like, nothing happened, like everything that happened the past week was a dream almost. Sam was fighting the urge to pull my aside and ask him what he was doing. Chad seemed to have no filter however and just asked right then and there.
”Okay. What are you doing?” Chad asked
“What do you mean?” Billy asked, a small fake looking smile on his face
Everyone shared a quick concerned look with each other, everyone trying to figure out what to say next. When no one said anything Chad decided to follow through with their conversation. If you would even call it a conversation at this point.
”It’s just…are you okay?” Chad asked, rubbing the back of his neck “I mean…you kinda killed your friend last week.”
”No I didn’t” Billy chuckled while shaking his head, it sounded fake and forced however “No-No, He’s fine, off doing whatever the hell he is doing.”
Now everyone was starting to panic, what the hell was this, what was Billy trying to do. Was he in denial of what had happened or had he fallen off the deep end (again). The more they listened to him talk however they realized how fake it all sounded. Like he was trying to convince himself instead of them.
Sam blinked a little, what did everyone say the five stages of grief were? Denial, Anger, Bargaining,…Depression and then Acceptance? She couldn’t remember off the top of her head, it wasn’t like she study the stages of grief often.
Sam motioned over everyone to follow her while Billy tried to convince himself that Stu was still alive. Not about to be buried six feet below the ground in a week instead.
“What’s going on” Mindy whispered
“It’s…Grief I think” Sam explained, an unsure look on her face “Y’know, the five stages of grief. Denial is the first one, or it’s supposed to be.”
Everyone slowly nodded their heads, they all somewhat remembered learning about it. Probably in health class when they were talking about mental health or something. After all, it definitely wasn’t something that they had learned about recently.
They all could understand why this was bothering Billy though and why he could grief his attempted murder. Stu wasn’t always Billy’s attempted murder, he was his best friend for a good chunk of his life. They were obviously close enough for him to agree to Billy’s plans for murder.
Sam remembered being a little sad after Richie died, after all she believed that he truly loved. Even after all he did, she couldn’t shake the feelings she had for him right away. No matter how much she wanted to, she felt like she shouldn’t have mourned him back then. Tara had been the same with Amber, that had been her best friend once upon a time. Now it was Billy trying to get over the fact that his best friend tried to kill him, so he killed him first.
The next months were probably gone to suck for all of them as Billy tried to get over Stu’s death. Not that they didn’t want to help him, they did, but knowing Billy he’d lash out if he realized what they were doing. So they just had to hope that this version of grieving that Billy was doing would help him.
Still he had to an acknowledge that Stu had died and that he was the one who killed him. That would probably be the best place for them to start. After all, he would get no where if he kept trying to convince himself that Stu was still alive. With that in mind they decided to try and talk about it again. They knew they probably weren’t going about this the right way but comforting a grieving person wasn’t their forte.
”Billy” Sam called gently when she finally found him still at the kitchen counter, expect he was now sitting in it, with his head in his hands
“I know.” Billy sighed “I know I killed him and I know he’s dead. It’s just easier to pretend that he isn’t dead and that I didn’t kill him.”
They all frowned, all of them feeling terrible that it took them this long to realize it affected him this badly. Normally, Billy would be annoying them and cracking semi-suggestive jokes. It was weird seeing him so off and not doing either of those things.
Sam pulled him into a hug, without knocking him off the counter, even if she had to stand on her tippie-toes to wrap her arms around him then.
“You didn’t want to kill him, I know-“
”I didn’t” Billy repeated, instantly trying to convince himself that Stu was okay “I didn’t kill him. He’s fine.”
Sam sighed and pulled away, patting him on the shoulder before going to get a glass of water. The others didn’t know what else to do so they just stayed back and let Sam take over for now.
When she came back she got her glass of water and handed it to the ex-serial killer. He didn’t drink it, he just held it and stared down at the countertop. Sam sat next to him and leaned her head on his shoulder when he didn’t try and push her away.
A good step in her book so she didn’t try and push it, instead just sat their with him with her head on his shoulder. Eventually he started drinking the water from his cup and staring off into the distant.
”I didn’t kill him” Billy mumbled
“If you keep telling yourself that this will never end” Sam whispered back
The silence continued after that, it wasn’t uncomfortable but rather comforting. She supposed that it was because they were already comfortable with each others presence and allowed themselves to relax by them. It was nice, being able to to trust each other like that.
They were going to need to trust each other for awhile now.