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Stan Marsh was, surprisingly, very excited for prom. He had asked Wendy a week before with a not-so grand gesture, but she had still said yes despite it. Wendy had him coordinate his suit to her dress, which was fine with him. He was never really picky with what he wore.
The night of the dance, Stan had made sure that his dad was completely preoccupied with something else. He did not want anything ruining his night, especially not his insane, incompetent, immature father.
He put on the basic black suit he had prepared, fitting the purple necktie as best he could. Before running downstairs, he opened his wardrobe drawer and took a large drink of the whiskey bottle he kept in there. Had to make sure this night was fun.
“Awww, look at my baby boy, all grown up!” His mom cooed at him, taking endless pictures from varying perspectives.
Stan walked to the door, shielding his face from the digital attack. “Mom, let’s just go, you’ve already insisted that you drive me, and it takes us an hour to get to South Park,”
“Oh alright, but I want a picture of you and Wendy when we get there,” Sharon said, picking up the car keys. Stan opened the door and headed straight to the car. He was eager to see his friends and spend more time with Wendy.
Sharon stopped by Wendy's house, making Stan get out the car to ring her doorbell. It was supposed to be romantic, though he didn’t get it. She'd have to get into his dads old beat up truck anyways.
“Hi Stan!” Wendy said excitedly, hugging him. He felt his cheeks warm seeing her in her matching prom outfit, a short light purple dress tied at the waist with a darker purple ribbon. Her hair was also tied into a bun, with two strands falling on either side of her face.
“Hey Wendy,” Stan replied, handing her the flowers he had got for her. He felt his stomach flip, like it always did when he was around her. He lifted a hand to cover his face.
Wendy's parents had quickly pushed through the couple, ordering them to pose together and taking pictures. Sharon had quickly joined in, telling the pair how to stand and what face to make.
Wendy had followed along pretty easily, but Stan had stood there awkwardly the entire time. He was starting to sweat. A lot.
Soon enough, the parents rushed the two into the car, scolding them about being late as if they weren’t the ones holding them back.
“Marsh, are you nervous?” Wendy teased when they were both in the backseat of the car.
Stan looked out the window, awkwardly resting his chin in his hand, “No, this night is gonna be great,” It would have been convincing if his voice didn’t crack.
Wendy smiled, leaning into Stan, “Your hand is sweaty,” Stan didn’t reply, but he kept his free hand in Wendys.
It didn’t take long to get from Wendy's house to the school, and when they walked into the gym the music was already blasting.
“Hey dude! You made it!” Kyle jogged up to him. The first thing Stan noticed was that he wasn't wearing his hat, which was rare for Kyle. His curly red hair bounced with his step. He was also wearing a dark green suit, which complimented his emerald green eyes, and a nice black tie.
Stan felt his stomach flip again.
He shook his head and smiled, “What, you’d think I'd ditch?”
“Well, kind of,” Kenny said, appearing from behind Kyle. His voice was clear in the absence of his parka, instead wearing a shirt with a printed on tuxedo pattern and a pair of tattered jeans.
“We totally thought you were gonna stay home and kill yourself,” Cartman butted in, giggling. He wore a basic brown suit.
Kyle slapped Cartman in the back of the head, “Cartman thought that. We thought that you might get stuck with your dad all night,”
“Same thing,” Cartman muttered, rubbing where he'd been hit.
“No, I handled him before I left. I told him that there were crazy mutated crab people stealing the weed in the barn at night. He’s pretty set on catching them with Towlie, and they’re both high out of their minds,”
“Sick, dude!”
“Your dads a fucking idiot,”
Stan sighed, “I know, dude,”
Wendy pulled on his arm, dragging him to the dance floor.
“I’ll catch you guys later!” He shouted to his friends. And Cartman.
“See ya, dude!”
The two went straight for the dance floor, talking and laughing and moving to the beat of the music. Time passed quickly, and soon enough the DJ had put on the first slow song of the night.
Wendy leaned into Stan, putting her hands on his shoulders. Stan wrapped his arms around her waist, and they started to slowly sway to the music.
“Tonight has been really fun so far,” Wendy whispered, her chin resting on his shoulder.
“Yeah, it has,”
“I hope we’ll stay together after we graduate,”
“Me too,”
Wendy moved her head in front of Stans, looking into his eyes and slowly moving closer. Stan parted his lips and closed his eyes, expecting a kiss.
Wendy stopped moving, and pushed Stan backwards.
“Stan, have you been drinking again?!” She yelled, which attracted the attention of all the surrounding couples.
“W-what? No!” Stan took a step forward.
“Don’t lie! I can smell it in your breath!” Wendy pointed an accusatory finger at him, “I thought you stopped?”
Stan put his hands up in defense, “Hold on, I just didn't want this night to be shit!”
“What, so you can’t have a good time unless you're drunk?”
“No, that's not what I meant! I just-,”
“Just what, Stan?”
He turned his head to see everyone staring at them now. Girls giggling to each other, boys staring slack jawed. Everyone with their phone out. Most definitely recording this just to send to each other.
“I’m going to talk to Kyle,” He brushed past her, scowling. He heard her march off in the direction of the food table. Probably off to rant to Bebe.
Cartman burst out into laughter as soon as he approached the group.
“Dude, are you alright? What happened?” Kyle put a hand on Stan's back, directing him to sit down on the bleachers.
“Aw, that was so sweet! Like when Wendy pushed him away and yelled at him!” Cartman laughed.
Kyle glared at him, “Shut the fuck up, fatass!”
“No, really, I'm serious! That was awesome! She's totally gonna dump you after this, dude,”
Kyle ignored him, and turned his attention back to Stan. Kenny moved to sit on his other side, “You good, man?”
Stan sighed heavily, not saying anything.
“Have you really started drinking again?” Kyle asked.
Stan sighed again, “Yeah, I have. I just don’t wanna be a bummer! Especially not tonight. Wendy was looking forward to this,”
“Stan-,”
“OH. MY GOD. No one cares. You stupid. Jew,” Cartman plopped down next to the three, whining about wanting to skip over whatever speech Kyle had planned.
Kyle kicked him, “Look, if you wait for Wendy to cool off, I think you guys can talk it out,”
Stan felt his cheeks heat up. He leaned his head onto Kyle's shoulder, “Thanks, man,”
“No problem, dude,”
“Awwww, look at them, Kinny! I think Stan should just ditch Wendy for Kahl, right? They’d be so cute together,” Cartman cooed, as if Stan and Kyle weren’t right there, “Look, Stans’ totally blushing too!”
Kyle whipped his head around to face Cartman, glaring at him again. Stan sat up straight, and put a hand on Kyle's shoulder, “He's trying to aggravate you, don't let him get to you,”
“Meh meh meh meh meh,” Cartman mimicked, crossing his arms, “Whatever, gaywad. Oh! You totally need to hear about what happened earlier, though. So basically, Kinny-,”
Stan tuned out whatever Cartman decided to ramble on about. He already felt better, being in Kyle's presence always did that to him. He was happy to see that Kyle seemed to be having fun. Well, as much fun as you can have with Cartman around.
He soon jumped back into the conversation when Cartman had stopped rambling, and the four of them started talking and laughing, just like they had done in elementary school. Stan ached at the feeling of nostalgia, wishing things could stay like this all night.
All good things must end, though, and they were soon interrupted by Mr. Mackey on the stage.
“Ahem, if I can have all of your attention, mkay?” He said into the microphone.
The mass of students went silent, all directed their eyes to the counselor.
“I am going to be announcing this year's prom court, mkay?” Mr. Mackey fiddles with an envelope in his hand, causing the crowd to break into an anxious whisper.
“Alright,” He said pleasantly, finally getting the cards into his hands, “I just wanna say that it has been a wonderful year with you guys, and that I hope you all move onto better things, mkay? Now, if I call your name, mkay, I want you to walk up here and get your crown and sash from the principal,”
Mr. Mackey pointed to PC Principal, who had both prom sashes and crowns in his hand. He nodded to Mr. Mackey, giving him permission to continue.
“Alright! So our prom queen-,”
“Prom royalty, Mr. Mackey. Lets keep it gender neutral, okay?” PC Principal scolded.
“Oh, yeah, that's right, mkay.” Mr. Mackey said, “Gender neutral. So our first prom royalty this year is… Wendy Testaburger!”
Wendy wobbled onto the stage with a hand on her head, and accepted her sash and crown.
Stan turned to his friends, wide eyed, “Do you guys think I got prom king? This could be my chance to talk to her!”
“Yeah, totally dude! I definitely voted for you!” Kyle cheered. Stan's heart skipped a beat. He ignored it.
“No, fuck you Stan, I voted for myself,” Cartman said, “I think i’m gonna win,”
“Yeah, maybe if everyone got a vote for each pound of fat on their body,” Kyle retorted.
“Ey! Stop calling me fat! And other people totally voted for me, right Kinny?”
“Fuck no, I voted for Kyle,” Kenny responded nonchalantly.
“Me? Why?”
Kenny shrugged.
Before anyone else could say anything else, Mr. Mackey started talking again, “Alright, so our second prom royalty here, mkay, is…”
Stan held his breath.
“Kyle Broflovski!”
Cartman burst out laughing again, “Look, Keeenny, you totally fucked Stan over!” He held his hand over his stomach, laughing maniacally.
“Shut up, fatass! If I won, that means most people voted for me, not just Kenny!” Kyle yelled. He then turned to Stan apologetically, “Sorry dude. I’ll tell Wendy you want to talk to her,”
“It’s fine,” Stan said, still slightly disappointed, “You totally deserve it,”
Kyle smiled at him before walking over to the stage and accepting his sash and crown. He walked over and stood next to Wendy, and awkwardly waved to the crowd. Stan couldn't help but smile at that.
“Alright, so,” Mr. Mackey paused, gathering his thoughts.
Cartman used this as an opportunity to jump off his seat and start chanting.
“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”
Kenny got up and shoved him, but the crowd had already joined in the chant.
“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”
“Look what you started, fatass!”
“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”
“Its alright Kenny, it's not like they'd actually-,”
…
Kiss: It’s what he was going to say, and is what his best friend and girlfriend are currently doing. In front of the whole school. All of the cheering nulled in his ears as he watched his (drunken?) girlfriend sloppily pull his surprised best friend down by the collar for a kiss.
That wasn’t the worst part, though. The worst part was seeing Kyle accept the kiss, wrapping his hands around Wendys waist, causing her to reach her hands into his hair.
Stan turned around, not being able to look anymore. He ran out of the gym, and into the hallway, running out the door that led to the side of the school.
How could they! Stan slumped down against the brick wall next to the door. That should be him up there! Not…
Was he not good enough? I mean, he knew he was short, but Wendy said he always liked that about him. Guess not, if she was making out with Kyle.
Oh, who was he kidding, he never stood a chance against Kyle! With his stupid fluffy hair and his sparkling green eyes, and his soft pink lips.
Stan sighed, burying his head in his knees. How could he be mad at Wendy when he was just thinking about kissing Kyle in her place?
Maybe he should just run away, he’d only hold them back anyways. Without him, they'd be a force to be reckoned with, an unstoppable power couple who'd go on to do great things. Who was he to make them wait for him?
He jolted at the sound of the door opening, lifting his head to see who it was.
“Oh, it's just you,”
“Just me?” Kenny teased, “Y’know, I can text Kyle and Wendy and tell them that your here-,”
“No!” Stan shouted, “Please don’t,”
Kenny sat next to him, “They’re looking for you,”
“I know,” Stan muffled into his knees.
A couple beats of silence passed.
Stan spoke his next words quietly, “Was Wendy drunk, or was that just me?” He shook his head, laughing gently, “Where would she even get alcohol? It's not like she drinks,”
Stan sighed, “I think i'm just trying to make excuses for her already,”
Kenny sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, “Sorry man, i'm actually pretty sure that was my fault,”
Stan tilted his head to look at him, waiting for him to continue.
“I kinda spiked the punch bowl,”
“Its prom, that's kind of expected-,”
“Like, a lot,”
“Well-,”
“To the point where it was mostly alcohol,”
“Oh,”
“So if you look at it my way it’s technically her fault for not tasting it,”
“Dude…”
“Sorry,”
Stan sighed, “It's alright. What happened still wasn't your fault. For the most part,”
Kenny nudged him, smirking, “Maybe it's not all bad, though,”
“Wendy and Kyle just basically dumped me for each other in front of the entire school, how could this not be all bad?” Stan grumbled.
“I dunno, maybe you’ll get a threesome out of it,” Kenny laughed.
“Kenny!” Stan's face flushed as he pushed him over.
Kenny sat up, giggling, “For real, though. I think you should talk to them. They want to talk to you,”
“What, and ask for a threesome?” Stan muttered sarcastically, hiding his face back into his knees.
Kenny placed a hand on his back, “Dude, everyone knows how head over heels you are for them. Both of them. Nothing good is gonna come out of running and hiding from it,”
“Stop giving me good emotional advice, Kenneth. That's not your thing,”
Kenny smirked again, “What, you want-,”
“Do not finish that sentence, McCormick,”
“Withholding pleasure? Kinky,”
Stan groaned, “Oh my god, dude. Stop,”
Kenny laughed, “Alright, alright,”
The door opened again, revealing a very concerned Kyle leading a stumbling Wendy by her hand.
“I think this is my que to go. See you later, dude,” Kenny waved before quickly heading back into the school.
“Stan, there you are! I’ve been looking for you everywhere, I'm so sorry dude,” Kyle led Wendy over, who didn't seem to know where she was at the moment.
“I didn’t want to go back inside,” Stan muttered. He glared at the pair's joined hands.
Kyle instantly took notice of this, letting go and moving to sit next to Stan, “It’s not like that, dude, I promise. Wendy was just barely able to walk and- and before I think I just got caught up in the moment?” He ran a hand through his hair, “Shit, I’m a terrible friend. I'm so sorry,”
Wendy stumbled forward, hiccuping, “Nuh-uh! He totally deserves this. This is what you get for always ditching me for your stupid boyfriend,”
“Wendy, he's your boyfriend,” Kyle reprimanded.
She blinked, slowly processing what he had just said.
“Don’t blame Wendy for this, I don’t think she knows what's going on. It’s my fault, I-,”
“Kiss me,” Stan interrupted.
Kyle gaped at him, shocked, “What?”
Stan lowered his voice, instantly embarrassed, “Kiss me. So it’s like, even. Y’know?”
Kyle looked away, quiet. Stan internally slapped himself for even asking. A couple seconds passed by, and Wendy silently came over and sat on his other side, taking off her heels.
“Kyle, I-,”
Kyle kissed him.
It was quick and sweet, and when he pulled away Stan followed him for a second, wishing it could last longer.
Kyles face flushed, looking away again, “That was so gay, dude,”
Stan elbowed him, laughing lightheartedly, “Shut up,”
Another few seconds passed by before Stan spoke up again, “I think- I think I like you, Kyle,”
“I know, Stan,”
He sighed, “No, I mean, I really-,”
Kyle kissed him again, slower this time. With more love. Stan cherished it.
“I know, Stan,” He said, holding his chin.
“So you-?”
“Yes, I do, Stan,”
…
“Cool,”
Kyle snorted, pulling away. Stan made sure to remember the sound.
Wendy then dramatically flopped onto his shoulder, “Where's my kiss?” She whined.
Stan leaned in, kissing her. He felt her sloppily smile into it.
As the three of them sat there, giggling over nothing, Stan couldn’t bring himself to be mad at either of them. He didn’t want to lose either of them.
“Do you guys wanna ditch the after party and go to City Wok?” Wendy asked eventually, to which the other two boys agreed, happy to leave the school.
As they walked down main street, Stan helping Wendy as she carried her heels in her hand, he spoke up, “So, are we, uh, gonna talk about… this?” He vaguely gestured at the three of them.
Kyle, who was walking on Stan's other side, answered, “I think it can wait ‘till tomorrow. Let’s just enjoy tonight,”
Wendy cheered at that, and the three of them continued their walk in silence.
When they got to City Wok, that silence instantly disappeared, the trio making so much noise they nearly got kicked out by the owner.
Stan felt 3 buzzes come from his phone, and he looked at it to see the text.
Kenny: me n fartman saw u 3 leave 2gether
Kenny: he got a pic and is showing every1
Kenny: ur totally getting sum aren’t u
Stan rolled his eyes, not responding. Maybe Kenny was right in a way, though. Everything seemed to turn out fine. He hoped things would stay like this. He was glad to have two people who cared about him so much.