Chapter Text
Tweek Tweak hated these nights. The phone on the nightstand read 4:25 AM, and all he could do was stare at the ceiling of his apartment while he laid in bed. He was used to the Colorado cold, but Colorado Springs always felt different from South Park. Emptier… Maybe if he had a more calming atmosphere he'd be able to sleep… he closed his eyes, ignoring the stale air in the room as he attempted to visualize a more settled place.
***
The glow in the dark stars stuck to the ceiling of his boyfriend's room faded too quickly, he thought. The little yellow green light they provided quickly sinking into blackness. It wasn't fair, how their time to shine was cut short. He could hear Craig's dad's snores in the next room, interrupting his sympathy for the plastic stars.
Craig was fast asleep next to him, exhausted after a tiring first week of sixth grade. The sleepover was a chance for them both to relax, and spend time with each other. It had been two years since they started dating, but they were still attached at the hip. Quite literally, in this case, as the sleeping boy's hip touched his own, Tweek not bothering to move even though that spot felt disgustingly hot.
He was always hot. Even in the dead middle of winter he was sweating-
***
Tweek shook his head, trying not to lead down that train of thought. He was absolutely cold in the here and now, and he gravitated to the warm body of his still boyfriend next to him. He sighed, attempting to throw an arm over Craig without waking him. Shaking fingers moved to grab at the other's shirt, clutching it tightly as he shut his eyes. He wasn't back in sixth grade, he was eighteen, graduated, with his own apartment, far, far away from his parents.
After laying down for another hour, Tweek gave up. Opting to just get his day started, he set up a French press, afraid of the coffee machine making too much noise. While he waited for the grounds to steep, he sat down on the counter to roll himself a joint. Certainly a way to start the day… he let out a soft sigh as the coffee steeped. His ever quaking hands struggled with the lighter as he brought the joint to his lips, and he jumped as he suddenly remembered he should probably crack a window open.
As soon as the window was open he remembered the coffee, but before the coffee was done he had to finish lighting the joint, but before - no, there was no before that. Tweek took a few deep breaths before going back to the studio apartment's tiny kitchen, attempting to calm his now racing thoughts and pounding heart. He settled himself on the counter, finally lighting up before pressing the French press down. Damn thing could only brew two cups, but the coffee maker made a whirring sound that Craig swore up and down wouldn't wake him up, but Tweek wasn't willing to risk it. He reached over to grab his headphones too, lowering the volume to where he could hear Craig stir.
After a while of smoking, drinking his coffee, reading on his phone, and generally zoning out, Tweek heard the bed sheets rustle behind him. He turned quickly to see Craig reaching for the space that his boyfriend had occupied hours ago, sitting up when he couldn't find him. Tweek checked his phone. 8 am, way too early for the other to already be awake. Typically Craig slept until 11 am, and had every day for the past three months and six days. What had broken his circadian rhythm?
".... Morning, sunshine." Craig mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
"you didn't get enough sleep." Tweek remarked quietly.
"You didn't get any." point taken. "Get back over here, I'm cold."
Tweek rolled his eyes, setting his coffee cup down and setting his headphones down on the table by the bed as he crawled back under the covers. "Did-did I wake you up?" he asked, wrapping his arms around Craig's waist.
Craig shook his head, pulling Tweek in closer by the shoulders, leaning back so the other's head was on his chest. "Just decided to be an early bird." Craig said in his typical nasal monotone. Still, Tweek smiled. At least he didn't wake up the other… and yet…
"Are you gonna be okay at work today?"
"Mm…. If I'm cranky, fuck 'em. The hell are they talking to me for anyways." and Tweek lingered on that for a moment. He was slightly jealous, he supposed, of Craig's less people-y job, interacting almost solely with coworkers.
"Wish I could S-say that…" Tweek muttered. He could practically feel Craig's smirk as he carded his fingers through his blonde hair.
"If you ever need me to beat the shit out of a customer…" now it was Tweeks turn to smirk.
"Yeah yeah, I'll give you a call."
*****
It was becoming more tempting with every passing day to take Craig up on that offer.
Today's shift had been full of uncomfortable questions, ("is that your real name?") idiotic complaints, ("I think the cold foam on my hot mocha melted, can I get it remade? And can you not melt the foam?") and the cold brew machine had refused to work properly for two hours. Stacked on top of the usual spills, product shortages, and general business, Tweek was ready to go home and smoke. Alas, he had another 45 minutes.
There were a lot of reasons Tweek had chosen a corporate coffee job….. OkayOkay, so maybe there were only two. Barista was the only job he knew, and the thought of his dad's face if he ever found out he was working at Starbucks. That might end up actually killing the man.
Wouldn't that be nice?
Tweek was on his fourth shift drink in 5 hours, and was making his next one when his coworker approached.
They were blonde, but with a blue streak in the front. Their smiley piercing glinted in the shitty overhead lighting as they smiled at him questioningly. "Are you sure you want more espresso? Aren't you worried you'll get…. Yknow…"
"Twitchy?"
"Yeah…" Tweek took a deep sigh. It was only out of concern that the other would ask. His condition wasn't 'normal.' Tyler was a very nice person, at least so far. They were the last person who needed his wrath.
"Man… I-I'm just trying to get through my shift dude… L-like if I twitch-like if I twitch it's not going to be the worst thats hap-happened today-Gah!" Tweek nearly dropped his cup as his wrist spasmed. "Damn! Th-this is why I only get put-put on lobby!"
Tyler checked the fridge under the espresso bar next to him. "I mean, you do make a good drink when you can!" and Tweek had to take a moment to remember that that wasn't meant to be backhanded. "I'd like to see you on bar more!"
"... Th-thanks Tyler," he replied softly, smiling down at them
"No problem, Tweekster!"
" P-please don't call me that."
"Oh, sorry…"
Tweek simply shrugged. "I th-think this fridge could use some more oat milk though."
Thankfully the rest of the shift passed smoothly, and after a short skateboard ride back to his apartment, he locked the door, hoisted himself up onto the counter and pulled out his pen. He didn't feel like rolling or packing right now. Maybe he and Craig could go down to the dispensary later and get some edibles- oh! Food! He needed that!
Tweek pushed himself off the counter, grabbing the ingredients for fried rice out of the fridge. He pulled out his phone
To: My Craig 💙
T: Did you eat yet?
C: ate before I left and just had my lunch. U?
T: just remembered now
T: there should be leftover fried rice when you get home :)
C: 💙💙💙💙
Tweek went about chopping an onion and some garlic. He had to remember to breathe during this process, his hands still shaking. Despite the amount of concentration it took for him, he enjoyed cooking. He enjoyed the comfort of knowing exactly what was going into his food.
***
"I know it's upsetting, but please-"
"A-are you-are you k-k-kidding me? I j-just found out my p-p-parents put m-m-m-mmmm-meth in m-my coffee-"
"It's just part of the program, you understand why it might not be a good idea to have patients in a kitchen-"
"B-because I-I-I'll slit my wrists w-with a kitchen knife? I-I'm not fucking eating this!"
The nurse stared at him blankly, not reacting to his wrist comment. "Well you can eat or you can have pediasure."
"I-I don't-don't - GAH! Want THAT!"
"The only other option would be the drip…"
Tweek felt tears sting his eyes, a few practically burning his face as they made their way down his cheeks. The hunger that should've been present in his stomach was replaced with the churning feeling of shame. "N-no! I don't - I don't want that! I-I want out, I want out!"
He felt hands on his shoulders as he was pulled away from banging his head onto the table. There was mashed potatoes sticking in his hair and he felt like he was about to throw up-
***
"Tweek? Tweek?"
Tweek suddenly felt himself gasp for air like he had just been underwater, gripping the edge of the counter until it dug into his fingers. His head felt like it was spinning-was he shaking or was there an earthquake? Oh god what if there was an earthquake-
"Tweek, honey, I'm right here…. Can you name five things you can see?"
Could he even see? Fuck he needed coffee - "Uh-uh-I'm holding a knife?"
"Right, right, you can see the knife and your hand. That's two, you need three more."
"Ummm… An Onion… AN-and a cut… Cutting board…."
"One more, honey."
"The counter… We really need to clean it." there was dried coffee splatters from this morning… Shit,he needed to brew another pot right now-
"Let's not worry about that right now. Can you name three things you can hear?"
Craig continued down the 5-4-3-2-1 list until Tweek felt like his body was his own again, the floating feeling dissipating. Once he was down, his coffee craving was numbed.
"how long were you standing there?" Tweek thought for a moment. Craig was home, and he couldn't have started cooking until about half an hour after he'd gotten home…
"About two-nnn-two hours?" Craig's eyes were on him now, staring a hole into the side of his head. He knew his boyfriend wanted to know why he got sent into that state, but didn't want to pry, or make Tweek upset. After a few moments, he finally answered the unasked question. "... I-I was a monster in inpatient…"
Craig hummed, and tweek saw him nod in his periphery. "It probably felt that way… But you weren't a monster. You were just… A scared kid."
"Y… Yeah…." Tweek mumbled, finally releasing the knife from his trembling grip.
"Honey, look at me…" as Tweek did as asked, Craig gave him a kiss on the cheek. "No one blames you for acting out. No one's angry… It's understandable." Craig said bluntly.
Tweek huffed. "I… II g-got out like a month ago.. Wh-why am I upset now?"
"No clue. But it's not a bad thing. You've always been kind of late to processing shit."
"You calling me slow?"
"Yeah." admittedly, Tweek didn't have a response to that. It was true, he had a terrible reaction time, especially after he got clean… It Always felt like his head was full of cotton, he couldn't help it.
"D-damn, can't believe you fell in love with-with a retard, man!" Craig rolled his eyes, wrapping an arm around the other.
"We're both retarded," he reminded
Tweek, squeezing his shoulder with his arm until the joints pop, and made the shorter let out a squeak. "Do you hear that?" Craig asked suddenly, looking to the wall with his eyebrows raised
"Wh-what? No-"
"It's the sound of PC principal coming to kick both of our asses for reclaiming slurs."
"Oh my fucking God! G-get off me!" Tweek laughed, taking Craig's arm off him. "I still have to make dinner! I haven't eaten yet!" Craig swooped down for another kiss.
"Okay honey, do you need any help?"
"A-actually yeah, could you prep the Tofu?"
"Help with anything BUT that."
"Mmmmm…. I guess you could chop this onion!" Craig rolled his eyes, but accepted, taking Tweeks place at the cutting board and finally finishing the task of chopping the onion.