Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Steven was doing his morning rounds before reporting in for his mayoral duties at City Hall. He took a bubbled gem from The Burning Room in The Temple and after his morning shower he filled the tub and went to the cabinet.

Out of the cabinet he took out three bottles, a blue one, a yellow one, and a white one. He closed the door and took a look at himself in the mirror and put one drop from each bottle into the tub.

"And now for the final touch" said Steven as he coated his finger in his healing saliva and dipped it into the mix "and in you go!" He popped the bubble, causing the contained gemstone to fall in the water.

The gem suddenly took form and a huge pink gem came out with spikes in random places. Startled by her own return to consciousness she stumbled around in the tub.

"It's okay! It's okay! Chill! Chill! You're safe!" Steven said in a comforting tone. "Where am I? Who are you!?" asked The Pink Gem. "Well, first of all, this is the bathroom in my house" said Steven "My name is Steven Universe, Mayor of Beach City and Son of Pink Diamond!"

The strange Pink Gem saw her reflection in the mirror and was shocked to see the spikes growing from her head "What happened to me?!" she lifted up a plunger and pointed it at Steven "What is this?" 

"That's a toilet plunger for unclogging the toilet, which is that bowl like device over there" Steven explained "as for what happened to you, you were caught in a blast made by all three diamonds which turned you into a monster, which I'm sure you have no memory of. As for why you are here, my friends The Crystal Gems caught you in your feral state so that you wouldn't be a danger to yourself and others until you could be healed, which is what I just did." 

Steven guided the new gem out of the bathroom "So, would you like to be filled in on what had happened while you weren't yourself?" asked Steven. "Filled in?" asked The gem.

"I have some reading material to help with that" said Steven as he showed her some pamphlets that he made using Abode PictureStore and InCreate "it's written in both English and Gem Glyph." 

One Pamphlet was called "Your New Horns and You" the other was called "Era 3 and Me"

Steven drove The Gem that he learned was called Cherry Quartz down to where Little Homeworld was "So, yeah, Era 3 is an era of self-expression, a time to discover who you are instead of just being what you're made for."

"I still don't understand it" said Cherry. "Yeah, I know it's a lot to take in, but you'll get it soon enough" said Steven "anyway, don't think you're confined to this planet, you're free to come and go as you please, for example, you want those horns removed, just talk to Yellow!"

"Y-Yellow Diamond!? Me presenting myself to HER? Like this!?" Cherry panicked. "Hey, remember what you read in the pamphlet?" asked Steven. "Oh...r-right...sorry!" Cherry apologized.

"Don't worry, I get it" said Steven "anyway, Yellow can apparently use her powers to remove those horns if you're not at all comfortable with them." "I mean, I guess they're not so bad" said Cherry.

"Yeah, and at least they're just on your head" said Steven "there's this one gem who has a horn growing out of her crotch, hee hee, it looks like she's walking around with a boner!"

"Who are those?" asked Cherry looking at the pictures on the sun visor on the front of his car. "Oh, those three gems in the picture on the left? That's my friends, The Crystal gems. To the right is my family" said Steven.

"Family?" asked Cherry. "Yeah, the woman next to me, is my lovely wife Connie, she's a Law Professor at Delmarva University. Rebecca's our firstborn daughter, she's starting fourth grade already. And the youngest one? Joshua, he's turning four soon! Kids grow up so fast..." said Steven.

"So, where are you taking me?" asked Cherry. "Well, Me, Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl (Those are The Crystal Gems) have started a little program to help wayward gems like you adapt to Earth should you choose to stay here." said Steven.

"Oh, okay" said Cherry. "Yeah, you see Earth's culture is very different from Homeworld's...which has changed over the past two years" said Steven "you'll learn about the laws here, which were made to help keep the peace and to protect public safety and not made to oppress, plus other miscellaneous cultural dos and don'ts. You'll also learn about the various aspects of Earth's culture such as entertainment. Plus it gives you an opportunity to rediscover yourself and create your own identity!" 

"That...sounds interesting" said Cherry. "That's the spirit! It's not just laws and culture here! You'll learn how to grow things, how to express yourself in many different ways" said Steven. 

Steven parked his car and let out Cherry Quartz and the two passed by Garnet who was teaching a class. Garnet's class looked like some sort of Yoga class, which she was teaching while standing on her head, which was easy given her square head.

"Find your balance. Remember, your body's not just a projection of light, but also a reflection of your inner soul" Garnet instructed. "Garnet teaches....whatever this is..." said Steven.

Pearl was teaching using a Holo-Pearl to assist her "Hello? Pearl speaking" Pearl said using her phone. "This is Holo-Pearl" said Holo-Pearl answering over the phone. "Oh Hi, Holo-Pearl, to what do I owe the pleasure of your calling?" 

"Just calling to see how you are" and thus the demonstration of a phone call ended "And that is an example of the use of the human short range telecommunication device called a phone" Pearl explained. 

"Pearl will teach you all about human technology...to the best of her knowledge at least" said Steven "I swear, she almost fell for that Nigerian Prince Scam five times.

"Who does this Pearl belong to?" asked Cherry Quartz. "Nobody. She belongs to herself, she's her own pearl" said Steven "you see, Homeworld's mold no longer applies. Your purpose is out of the equation. You can be who you want to be!"

"How do I do that?" asked Cherry. "Follow me! Your introductory class is just about to start!" said Steven. Amethyst was in front of a chalkboard about to begin her class.

"Hello, I'm professor Amethyst. Go on, take a seat wherever" said Amethyst "I'll be teaching "How to decide for yourself 101". Today's lesson is...THERE IS NO LESSON! Just do whatever you want for an hour!"

"Hey Steven!" Amethyst greeted as she ran up to him "you wanna go grab some lunch?" "Lunch? It's only nine thirty" said Steven. "Ah, what about pre-lunch?" asked Amethyst.

"Like second breakfast, there's no such thing" said Steven "what are you, a hobbit? Besides, I've got some mayoral errands to run at City Hall. If you want to chill and talk with me in my office while I do 'em, you're free too!"

Later at City Hall, Steven was at work at his desk. He mastered the art of carrying on a conversation while working at the same time "Man, this school thing's such a good idea! I love being a teacher!" said Amethyst.

"You sure seem like you're enjoying yourself" said Steven as he signed a few documents. "Yeah, no one's ever looked up to me before, you know?" said Amethyst "except for my baby brother! It's a shame I have to share you with all the other gems Pink Diamond made..."

"Well, just remember, I was your brother first" said Steven. "Oddly enough, that makes me feel better" said Amethyst "so, anyway, you look like you've got this mayor thing down!"

"Well, I've been trying. I was thankfully able to find the perfect work-life balance on this job, thankfully I'm the Mayor of this town and not a big city like Empire, now that would be a nightmare" said Steven. 

"Good to see you've been so much more lax lately, just like old times" said Amethyst. "Yeah, I think I've finally figured myself out, got back in touch with my inner child, these past two years" said Steven.

"Seriously, dude, it's been going great! Everyone wants to come and learn how to be an Earthling!" said Amethyst. "Well, almost everyone" said Steven. "Pfft! Man, forget her!" said Amethyst.

"Yeah, Jasper sucks, if she wants to live out alone in the woods like Shrek, she's more than welcome" said Steven "but if her presence in the forest starts causing damage to the local ecosystem and other such problems, I may have to intervene. Which is why I installed those critter cams." 

"And how's the footage?" asked Amethyst. "You know that indie horror game, Seven Nights at Sammy's? It's sort of like that game's trademark jump scares" said Steven. Amethyst chuckled "She found one, eh?" 

"Yup!" said Steven. "Man "living out in the woods like Shrek", great analogy" said Amethyst "hey, who would win in a fight, Jasper or Shrek?" "I dunno, but I'd PAY to see that fight" said Steven. 

Afterwards Steven came back to Little Homeworld to check up on Cherry Quartz and to sign off on her class schedule "Woah, you signed up for all available classes! Impressive" said Steven.

"You're a good salesman...did I use that last word correctly?" said Cherry Quartz. "Yeah, more or less...anyway, everything seems to be in order, so allow me to formally welcome you to Little Homeschool!" said Steven as he offered your hand.

"Uh...what do I...?" "Oh! Sorry, I forgot you don't know what a handshake is, first you take my hand...and then you shake" said Steven. Cherry Quartz placed her hand on Steven's but shook his entire body up and down with one arm. 

"O-o-okay! Maybe not that hard..." said a dizzy Steven. 

Chapter Text

Before Rebecca was darkness and all she could hear was Amethyst's voice "Two steps to the left. There's a chair right behind you. Sit down and...okay!!!" Amethyst removed the blindfold from Rebecca.

"Oh! Fish-Stu Pizza! We having a pizza party Aunt Amethyst?" asked Rebecca. "That's not the surprise" said Amethyst "notice anything different?" Amethyst pointed towards the kitchen and saw the healed crab monster slicing pizza with her claws. 

"Bixbite? We have gems working here now?" asked Rebecca. "Yeah, girl! And she's crushing it!" said Amethyst "Bixbite is an expert in slicing and dicing! So now she can use her skills in the Pizza Shop!" 

Bixbite came out and handed them the pizza she cut herself. Rebecca took out a ruler and protractor from her backpack "Wow! This is the most evenly sliced pizza I've ever seen! Great job Bixbite!"

"Thank you very much!" Bixbite said with a gracious bow before getting back to work. "So, how did this happen. Amethyst, did you have something to do with this?" Rebecca asked. 

"Guilty as charged, your honour" Amethyst responded "we talked about her interests and experiences, then I spoke to Kofi and got her set up here!"

"Oh! So you're helping gems find new careers here on Homeworld?" asked Rebecca. "You catch on quick, girlie!" Amethyst praised "you're taking more and more after your mom, ya know?" 

"Thanks. So, tell me more about how you're helping gems find jobs" said Rebecca. "Well, I wanted to do something big for Little Homeschool" Amethyst answered "So, I've been pairing up gems with human jobs! The results have been amazing! I call it the Gem-Human Excellence Mentorship, or G.H.E.M!"

"So, it's gem spelled with an "H"?" asked Rebecca. "Yup!" said Amethyst. Two rubies suddenly somersaulted the pizza place "All clear Mr. Mayor!" said one of them. "You got rubies in the program too?" asked Rebecca.

"She sure did" said Steven. "Oh, hi Dad! How're the rubies doing?" asked Rebecca. "Well, they take their job seriously, there were a few incidents where they followed me into the toilet stall...but we've managed to reach an understanding" said Steven.

"Good to hear! Hey, since your here for a slice, come join us!" Amethyst invited. "Hey thanks" said Steven as he took a slice of pizza from the pie Amethyst ordered. "Hey, Rebecca, heard about the water main bursting at your school, you alright?" asked Steven.

"Only my ankles got wet" said Rebecca "Garnet saw it coming and was there when everyone evacuated. "Good 'ol Garnet, always on top of things. And good 'ol conveniently placed warp pads" said Steven.

"So, Amethyst's telling us about the G.H.E.M program she came up with" said Rebecca. 

"Yeah, we were hanging out in my office the other day when she proposed it, for a while, I couldn't believe it was Amethyst of all people who came up with it. I thought this was more of a Pearl or Garnet idea" said Steven. 

"Hey, I can be complex when I wanna be...I just don't usually wanna be" said Amethyst "anyway, I'll be showing Rebecca some of the other work I've put some gems into!" 

"That's cool! Just be home before supper!" said Steven. "You can trust me, besides, I'd never be late for supper!" said Amethyst. 

Amethyst then showed Rebecca to Funland to see the gems she got working there. "Wow! Blue Lace Agate! Biggs Jasper and Crazy Lace! The Quartzes have taken over Funland! Awesome!" said Rebecca.

"It's more awesome for me than it is for you! I love these colourful helpers!" said Mr. Smiley. "Mr. Smiley, hi! You seem more smiley than usual!" said Rebecca.

"All this extra help and cheap labour Amethyst sent over has lightened my workload so much that I've managed to get a full eight hour sleep! I can't even remember the last time I slept this well...I really can't..." said Mr. Smiley. 

"Well good for you!" said Rebecca giving her a thumbs up. "Just so ya know, Princess Creampuff's available at the carousel!" said Mr. Smiley returning the thumbs up. 

"I bet everyone's really proud of you for doing this, Amethyst" said Rebecca. "Oh! Look up there! Nephrite's doing some skywriting!" said Amethyst.

Nephrite, far above Rebecca and Amethyst in the sky drew a picture of Rebecca using the skywriting smoke. "Oh cool! Thanks Nephie!" Rebecca shouted up in the sky "it's amazing she can see us from up that high!"

"Yeah, she's a natural at this, almost better than Andy" said Amethyst "probably from her experience in flying dropships. She's a bit of a perfectionist though." "Hey! Little Larimar and Snowflake Obsidian!" said Rebecca.

She ran up to the boardwalk and saw that Larimar and Snowflake were making snow cones together. Snowflake Obsidian used her powers to make a pillar of ice. Larimar clawed at the pillar, and putting the shaved ice into a paper cone and flavoured it with fruit flavoured syrup.

"Would you like one?" asked Larimar. "Sure! Thanks!" Rebecca handed them a dollar and Larimar gave her a strawberry flavoured snow-cone. 

Rebecca and Amethyst took a moment to sit down at the boardwalk and enjoy the rest of the afternoon.

"I think you did a really good job, Amethyst" said Rebecca. "Yeah, I used to spent my time not knowing who I was or who I was made for" said Amethyst "but now, I think I've figured out what I want to do, and that's help wayward gems figure themselves out like I did. Plus, me, Garnet, and Pearl sort of robbed your dad of the future of his choice by having him wait for his powers to grow and I wanted to make up for that by doing this."

"Well, Dad didn't turn out so bad, I mean, he did meet mom and had me with her after all" said Rebecca. "Speaking of which, what about you. Let's talk about your future! The doctor is in!" said Amethyst.

"Actually, I've made up my mind already" said Rebecca. "OOOH! Details! Details! Show me the deets!" Amethyst urged. 

"Well, sometimes I think back to when I accidentally hurt that bird back when I was four..." said Rebecca. "Yeah, I remember...Pearl told me about it" sad Amethyst "so, not to sound insensitive, but what about it?" 

"I've decided I want to help animals, not hurt them, so I'm thinking of becoming a vet when I grow up" said Rebecca. "Hey, that's not a bad idea!  You gonna open up your own practice here?" asked Amethyst.

"Not yet, I have to graduate with good grades and learn animal biology and then go to a veterinarian school" said Rebecca "I might have Dad's healing power's thanks to Rebecca Diamond but I can't just become one with those alone, I need to certified." 

"Speaking of, can I see her? I don't see her often" said Amethyst. Rebecca Diamond came out of Rebecca "That's because although I'm more energy efficient than I was as a blank, I still use Rebecca's energy. Me and my gem have both agreed to only use me in the event of an emergency...or if she's really bored" said Rebecca Diamond.

As Rebecca and Amethyst continued to talk, a small pink bird sat perched on a nearby tree. 

Chapter Text

Steven was finished hooking up his brand new TV in the living room. "Thanks for the help, Dad" said Steven "that old TV served us well the past twenty years but, we were long overdue for an upgrade!" 

"Well, I gotta say, I can't blame ya" said Greg "it's a real beaut!" "It may be last year's model, but the picture quality is so good, it's like you're actually part of the show" said Steven "I can picture it now!"

*Steven's Fantasy*

"Welcome! Welcome! Welcome to Last Week Tonight, I'm John Oliver!" said TV Host John Oliver "it's been a crazy week, first of all-" CRUNCH! John paused and glared at Steven who was right next to him holding a bag of Chaaaps!" 

"Oh! Uh...sorry John" Steven apologized. "Do I go to where you work and crunch chips?" John asked in an annoyed tone. "No, but you're certainly welcome to" said Steven "hey, don't you British guys call "chips" "crisps"?" 

"We do, but this IS your imagination after all" said John. "Eh, fair enough" Steven shrugged.

Suddenly the room got darker. "Whoa, who turned off the lights?" Greg asked. "The lights were already off. We don't turn on the lights on a bright sunny day..." said Steven.

The Universe men went out of the house and saw Pink Diamond's Zoo hovering overhead, blocking out the sun. "Daddy, what's that?" asked Joshua, up from his afternoon nap. "The Deep Space Human Zoo..." said Steven.

Steven, Greg and Joshua all climbed up the stairs to make contact with the ship through the Conservatory. The holographic screen lit up and showed the zoo human Y6 and J10 

"Whoa! Wy-Six and Jay-10!?" said Steven. "Ga-Reg! Ste-Ven! Greetings!" Wy-Six greeted. "Wow, long time no see you two!" said Greg "how've you been?" "We've been choosened for each other!" said Jay-Ten.

"Choosened?" asked Greg. "Oh yes...you missed it when you left! The choosening is when the voice pairs you with another for a lifelong bond!" said Wy-Six. "Oh, so it's a match-making service?" asked Greg.

"Oh yes! It's a shame you missed it. You must be lonely" said Jay-Ten. "Well, actually I already had been "choosened" with someone named Leslie" said Greg "and Steven and Connie also "choosened" each other before coming here. Here on Earth, we don't have a voice to tell us what to do, we're free to live as we please!"

"Oh! Now we're just like you thanks to Ste-Ven's Era 3!" said Wy-Six "we've turned our Zoo Ship into a cruise ship!" "Please come visit with us!" said Jay-Ten.

"Sure thing! Um, is it okay if I bring Amethyst to say hi to the Famethyst?" asked Steven "oh, and can I bring my son too? Can't leave him unsupervised." "Sure! But how are you going to bring an entire star in?" asked Wy-Six.

"No, my son, he's my boy" said Steven holding up Joshua to the holo-screen. "Hello!" said Joshua. "Whoa, it's a little you!" said Wy-Six "where did he come from?" "Same place where your kids come from?" Steven answered. 

"Ki-ids?" asked Jay-Ten. "Don't the woman have babies up there?" asked Steven. "Oh! You mean the loud scary things that sometime grow inside the females? Jay-Ten had one, she seemed "hurt" by it!" said Wy-Six.

"What? Don't you-?" "Let's not continue this discussion, eh Schtu-ball?" said Greg "we do have a kid present." "Oh yeah, right" said Steven. Steven, Greg called Amethyst and warped to The Zoo Ship.

Joshua was so amazed by the sights of The Zoo Ship. "Ste-Van! Welcome to our Ca-roos!" said Wy-Six. "It's so different now!" said Steven. "We humans run the ship now" said Wy-Six leading them into the main room.

The Amethysts were all relaxing with the humans and living in harmony. "As you can see, we humans keep everything going while the amethysts laze about like a bunch of worthless delinquents!" said Wy-Six "Did I say that right, Holly Blue?"

"Stop relaxing and get back to your posts!" Holly Blue fumed at an amethyst before answering Wy-Six "how can you stand this total lack of order!?" "Come on, Holly Blue, relax, you know you want to!" an amethyst urged while slurping on a drink in a hollowed out Crystal Fruit.

"I give up! No one answers to me and I answer to no one!" Holly Blue complained "Oh what I wouldn't give to get an order from The Diamonds, but all they talk about is Steven, Steven...STEVEN!?" 

"Oh...um, Hi Holly!" Steven awkwardly greeted. Holly simply blushed out of embarrassment and backed away giving the Diamond salute. "That gem's funny!" said Joshua. "To each their own" said Steven. 

"YO! Famethyst!" Amethyst greeted. "Amethyst! We missed you! Aw yeah!" all the other amethysts greeted. "Ste-van! We have some special friends who wanted to meet you!" said Jay-Ten. 

"Really?" asked Steven. "Yes, it was they who wanted to visit earth!" said Wy-Six "I cannot wait to see the look on your face when you see the looks on their faces!" Wy-Six opened the door and out came a pink gem that looked eerily familiar.

"M-M-Momma mia!" Steven exclaimed. "I can feel my hair starting to fall out again!" said Greg. "Hey, this gem looks like Grandma Rose!" said Joshua. "I can see that!" said Steven. "Yes! This is the look I wished to see" said Wy-Six.

"Steven, are those the-?" "Yup, The Rose Quartzes that were bubbled up by Blue. I probably shouldn't be surprised that they're allowed to run free but still..." said Steven.

"Hello!" Joshua politely greeted some of the Rose Quartzes, two of them surrounded him "Oh my gosh! This must be Steven!" "He looks even cuter than I imagined!" "No, Steven's my Daddy's name, I'm Joshua!" said Josh.

The two Rose then came up to Steven "Wow! Steven Universe for real this time! I'm Rose Quartz! This is also Rose Quartz!" The excited looking greeted "wow, you're not the same complexion as us, is it because you're half organic? Can you believe it, Rose Quartz!"

"It's like we were bubbled and now we're not bubbled" said a more laid back RQ. "Well, Nice to meet you..." said Steven. "Steven, you okay bud?" asked Greg. "I feel a bit awkward...how about you?" Steven whispered. 

"Isn't Steven wonderful!?" asked The excited Rose "he's so supportive and kind and handsome and athletic and smart! We haven't seen The Earth since we emerged! What's it like Steven? What's a typical day for the legend?"

"Well, most days I'm pretty busy but I do make time for my family and-" "What's your house like!?" "Well...it's nice, next to the ocean..." "I've never seen the ocean!" said Superfan Rose. "What's it smell like?" asked Hippie Rose.

"It mostly smells salty" said Steven. "What's it like breathing?" asked Superfan Rose. "It's...normal...I do it all the time" said Steven. "I bet you sleep ALL the time!" "No, not really-" "What's it like eating food!?"

"Why don't you join us for dinner and find out!?" asked Joshua. Steven and Greg looked at Joshua awkwardly. Later that evening...three of The Rose Quartzes joined Steven and his family for dinner.

For the adults and The Gems, it was awkward, the kids seemed more oblivious, Rebecca sort of understood why the grown ups seemed awkward by their new guests but she wasn't bothered by it.

"Wow The Universe Family! Oh my gosh! This is so cool!" said Superfan Rose "you must be Rebecca! Is Rebecca Diamond in there!?" "You wanna meet her?" asked Rebecca. Rebecca summoned Rebecca Diamond.

"Nice to meet you, Rose Quartzes" Rebecca Diamond greeted. "Whoa! So cool! What's it like living inside an organic?" asked Hippie Rose.

"I can see, hear, feel, taste and experience everything that Rebecca does, as we are technically the same being" said Rebecca Diamond "it's a little complicated to explain but as long as Rebecca lives a long and happy life, so too shall I." 

Superfan Rose then looked to Steven as he was about to eat another carrot off his plate "Oh! He's cutting up one of those carrot beans again!" "Carrots are roots actually" said Connie "beans are a different type of vegetable." 

"Wow! You are so smart! You guys are the best at eating!" said Superfan Rose. Bismuth and Pearl were both uncomfortable as Hippie Rose looked at them "Wow, a bismuth with her very own pearl! Hey, how can I get one just like her?"

"Well, I'm one of a kind..." Pearl answered awkwardly. "Cool, you're a lucky bismuth, Bismuth" said Hippie Rose. "Well, what we've got is a more consensual sort of relationship" said Bismuth. "Far out, far out" said Hippie Rose "say, have you tried this "butter" stuff?"

"Oh no thank you, ro-o-o...." "You okay, Pearl?" asked Hippie Rose. "I gotta go to the bathroom!" said Pearl. "Me too!" said Bismuth. "Me three!" said Greg. Bismuth, Pearl and Greg panicked towards the washroom. 

"Hey, you're looking a little tense, how's about a nice massage while we talk?" asked Hippie Rose to Garnet. "I also need to use the washroom" said Garnet. "Coming!" said Amethyst following her.

"Excuse me for a moment...I need to remind certain people of proper dining etiquette" said Connie glaring angrily at the bathroom. Connie stormed into the bathroom "What the hell was that!?" 

"Connie, you don't understand" said Greg. "Come on, Connie, isn't this super weird!?" asked Pearl. "Pearl...it IS super weird" said Garnet. "I know it is wrong..but we are overwhelmed" said Garnet. "Big time" said Greg. 

"They don't just look like her, they are like her" said Amethyst "it's...it's just too much..." "And how do you think it is for Steven, huh!?" asked Connie "Steven, who has never met her, had to go through so much shit because of her and is now surrounded by gems who look like her?"

"Connie, it's...it's too much to take" said Greg. "You think I don't understand how you feel? I do! And so does my husband, who feels the exact same way!" said Connie "he needs you guys to help him through this and you run away and cower in the washroom just because YOU can't take it!? How can you be so self-centred? Bismuth notwithstanding because she wasn't here yet, I used to think you Crystal Gems were amazing, and now I understand why he lashed out at you during his teen years! I am so disappointed in you all, especially YOU, Greg!"

"Especially me?" asked Greg. "Steven gave you one of his kidneys! He was so scared of surgery, like, deathly afraid of surgery, but he still went through with it and gave you his kidney when you needed it the most! He never ran away when you needed him, when any of you needed him! You guys suck."

Connie left the room, leaving Greg and the gems feeling ashamed of themselves. What Connie said was harsh, but not completely untrue, this situation was hard for them, but also hard for Steven.

One by one, the gems slowly left the bathroom. "Steven, we're sorry we left you alone with them" said Pearl. "Well, I wasn't exactly alone with them, I had the kids with me" said Steven "and I learned that we had something in common."

"Yes, all four of us only heard of Our Diamond, but never met her or got to know her" said the Rose Quartz who looked exactly like Pink's Rose disguise "It was Rebecca who pointed it out."

"Yeah and once we got talking about what we had in common, we got more honest with each other and now instead of three gems who look like my mom, I got three new sisters" said Steven "it feels good to have a family that backs me up. Thank you too, Connie."

"Did you...hear what I was saying?" asked Connie. "Parts of it" said Hippie Rose. "Thanks for telling them off, Connie" said Steven. "Well, SOMEONE, had to be the mature one" said Connie.

"You guys should come back to the table, these three are awesome!" said Joshua. The gems rejoined the table and eventually, like Steven, stopped seeing Rose Quartzes as Rose, as Pink, and realized how hypocritical they were being. 

The Crystal Gems fought so that no gem should be judged by what their gem type is and yet, there they were avoiding the Rose Quartzes simply because they were like Pink's disguise.

After dinner, they all said goodbye to the rose quartzes on good terms. They all watched as The Zoo Ship left. "Steven, we really are sorry about this" said Pearl "you're not mad at us, are you?"

"Nah, it's okay" said Steven "I'll get over it, all I need is to take out my old dartboard that has a photo of you, Amethyst, Garnet and Dad plastered on it" said Steven. "Thanks, Steven, I-, wait, what?" asked Pearl. 

Much later, Steven was watching Curb Your Enthusiasm on the new TV. "What!? What's the problem!?" Larry David's character asked a stranger. "My son slid and scrapped his knee on the pavement and you didn't do anything!" said a lady with a Karen haircut. 

"When a child is out in public, whether you are childless or not, that child is peripherally under your care also!" The mother responded. "What!? Why, your HIS mother, you should pay attention" said Larry.

"How can you be so self-centred?" the mother scoffed. "How am I self-centred!? I'm just going for a walk in the park! I didn't agree to be a free babysitter! The world's not some daycare-" CRUNCH!

Through the TV screen, the mother and Larry were glaring at Steven "seriously!?" said Larry. "Whoops! Sorry Mr. David..." "Well, can I at least have a chip?" asked Larry. "It's my last bag..." said Steven.

Steven suddenly awoke from his bed "What the hell was that dream?" "Told you you shouldn't drink red wine spritzers before bed" mumbled a half-awake Connie.

Chapter Text

One of Steven's new ruby bodyguards had their neck elongated due to a cracked gem. "I told you not to jump into the direction of that stray baseball" said Steven. "But it was going to hit you Mr. Mayor" said the ruby guard. 

"I had my catchers mitt on, I'd have caught it...alright, how would you like your dosage of healing spit?" asked Steven. "Not the kissing way..." said The ruby guard. "Yeah, that would be awkward for both of us" said Steven as he licked his palm and applied the healing spit to his bodyguard's gem.

"Alright, good as new!" said Steven "take a break, Ruby, you've earned it" "Thanks, Mayor Universe! This is why I guard you with extra gusto!" The Bodyguard ran out. Just then, a few quartzes came in, they looked a little off.

"Let me guess, volleyball incident?" asked Steven. "Whoa, how did you know!?" asked one of them. "The volleyball in your hand and the cracked gems were a dead giveaway" said Steven "alright, single file." 

All The Quartzes left saying thanks to him after he healed each of them "And remember, volleyball is not a contact sport! Seriously, this is, like, the tenth time today!"

"Excuse me..." asked a shy voice. Steven was shocked to see, his mother's and White Diamond's former pearl. "Whoa...it's you" said Steven. "I heard you might be able to help me with this" said Pink Pearl.

"Sure I can! Now, I must warn you, this may be a little gross" said Steven as he licked his palm. Pink Pearl steeled herself as Steven applied his panacea saliva on her gem...but nothing happened.

"Did it work?" asked Pink Pearl. "No...I think I didn't apply it properly, maybe instead of the gem, maybe a more direct application to the wound, perhaps?" said Steven as he tried again, this time placing his hand on her cracked eye. 

"Wha? Did my powers stop working?" Steven wondered as he went to a nearby plant, plucked a leaf and placed a small dab of his spit on it and a floral bouquet grew in its place "Nope! They're still there. Curiouser and curiouser..."

"Say, um, what exactly happened while you were under White Diamond's control?" he then asked her. "Nope! 8000 years just, blip!, gone!" said Pink Pearl. "So...do you not remember getting that crack in the first place?"

"Oh no, this was before all that!" Pink Pearl corrected him. "White hurt you before she controlled you?" asked Steven. "White? Oh stars, what a misunderstanding. This is all Pink Diamond!" said Pink Pearl.

"Excuse me, Mom did this to you!?" said Steven, he noticed himself glowing pink and shook it off "sorry...happens sometimes, not often, but every once in a while." "Is, is everything alright?" asked Pink Pearl. 

"I dunno...maybe if I could talk to another Pearl about this" said Steven "could you come with me for a moment?" Steven led Pink Pearl over to The Beach House while Pearl was overseeing a volleyball match.

"Oh! Why if it isn't my favourite politician!" Pearl greeted Steven. "Pearl, do you have a minute for me and my friend here?" asked Steven. "Oh, are you here for the volleyball tournament?" asked Pearl.

"Actually, we were hoping you could help us" Steven corrected. "Oh, what can I do for you?" asked Pearl. "Well, Pearl...this is...oh, do you mind if I call you Pink Pearl?" asked Steven.

"Oh not at all! Pink used to always give nicknames to so many things. She was so funny like that" Pink Pearl reminisced "so, if calling me "Pink Pearl" will make things easier for you, I accept!"

"Looks like someone's got it bad" said Pearl in a shrill tone "I remember when I was like that. But now I have Bismuth." Steven rolled his eyes. "Pink Pearl..." Pink Pearl giggled "It's a little on the nose, but it's so funny! You're just like her!"

"Anyway, we're here because we're trying to fix the crack in her eye" said Steven "I've tried my healing powers on her but it didn't seem to work." "Oh poor thing, it's a shame what White did to her" said Pearl.

"Um, actually..." Steven was interrupted by a quartz being knocked down into the sand "Guys, seriously, you're gonna shatter yourselves if you keep playing like that!" said Steven "in any case, I figured since this is something my healing powers can't fix, maybe you might know what to do?"  

"Well, usually when a pearl is damaged, we get taken to The Reef" said Pearl. "That's exactly what Pink would do!" said Pink Pearl. "Well, I was her pearl after all" Pearl bragged. "I was too!" said Pink Pearl "we were very close."

Pearl chuckled "I love your energy. It reminds me of when I was younger." "I'm older than you" said Pink Pearl. "Okay, ladies, let's put the claws away. We've got an eye to fix" said Steven. 

And so, Steven and the two pearls warped to The Reef, which resembled a giant oyster shell. "Here we are" said Pearl. "Whoa, The Reef...so, is this, like, where pearls are made?" asked Steven. 

"It also serves as a luxury boutique and a centre for refurbishment and repair" said Pink Pearl. "So, it's like an Apple Store?" asked Steven. "What? Steven, how is this like an establishment that sells fruit?" asked Pearl.

"No, not apple the fruit, Apple the company, you know, MacBooks, iPhone, iPad?" asked Steven. "I don't get it" said Pink Pearl. "Oh, it's a tech company that sells passible technology for insane prices" said Steven.

"Regardless, I don't think we're like to find a Genius Bar in this place" said Pearl "though it does have something like Siri." "In any case, it's good to know that it can repair you at least" sad Steven to Pink Pearl. 

A light scanned Steven and a digitized voice played "Welcome, Pink Diamond" "No, I'm not my mom, I'm Steven Universe" said Steven. "Welcome, Steven Universe, I am Shell, your guide to the reef" the voice answered.

"Um, Hi Shell, my friend, Pink Pearl has a crack in her eye and we were hoping to get it fixed" said Steven. "Understood. Please follow the illuminated path to the Care Center" said Shell.

"You really don't have to come all this way for such a trivial thing" said Pink Pearl. "Trivial? Pink Pearl, you've got a damaged eye. This is no trouble, we're all friends here." said Steven.

"Don't worry Pink Pearl, I'll be right here holding your hand" said Pearl. "Pearl, she's not two years old, you know." said Steven. Steven and The Pearls continued down a hallway as various holograms of different products lit up.

"Please feel free to take your time looking through our latest offerings in accessories and appearance modifiers as we make our way to The Care Centre" Shell announced. "This really is like The Apple Store" said Steven. 

"Look at these darling fans!" said Pink Pearl. "What about you, Pearl, see anything you like?" asked Steven. "Oh please, nothing like looking at glitzy trinkets to get you nostalgic for a simpler time" Pearl scoffed "I mean, really, who needs junk like this, right Pink Pearl?" 

"What a sweet ribbon wand, it's just like mine!" said Pink Pearl as she elegantly summoned a ribbon wand "it was a gift from Pink! Isn't it exquisite? What did she get you?"

Pearl laughed haughtily "It's sweet that you have these keepsakes, but, well, no need to be overly attached." "Pearl, she's been under White Diamond's power for the past 8000 years, would it kill you to not be jealous!?" Steven scolded in a hushed tone. 

"Jealous!? I am not jealous!" said Pearl. "Jelly Pearl say what?" "What?" "Gotcha!" "What do you mean, Steven? I don't get it" said Pearl. "Welcome to The Care Center. We have everything here to update or repair any pearl" said Shell.

Pink Pearl stood in the middle of a lit circle "Scanning" said Shell. "So, how do I look?" "I'm sorry, there is nothing I can do" said Shell. "But you just told us you can repair any pearl!" said Steven.

"Her physical form shows damage but her pearl is intact. This injury must be so impactful that it continues to manifest despite the fact that the pearl's been repaired!" said Shell. "So it's psychological?" asked Steven. 

"That's absurd, I'm fine" said Pink Pearl as the crack on her eye worsened. "How could White be so careless!?" asked Pearl. "Oh no, Pearl, you got it all wrong, Pink did this" said Pink Pearl. 

"What did you say?" asked Pearl. "It's a funny story. Once, Pink got tired of asking Yellow and Blue for her own colony, so she went straight to White. Of course, White told her she wasn't fit to run one and, well, that set her off!"

"Set her off!? What are you talking about!?" "You remember how she was with her destructive powers, throwing tantrums left and right. She had a scream that could crack walls. She didn't mean to hurt me. I was just standing to close when she-"

"Destructive powers!? She had healing powers and she didn't have tantrums, she kept her feeling secret!" "The Pink I knew couldn't keep a secret to save her gem" said Pink Pearl.

"Are you kidding!? If anything she was too good at keeping secrets, even from me!" said Pearl. "THAT'S ENOUGH!" Steven shouted at a voice so loud it cracked the walls "Look, the both of you knew my mom at different points in her life, you never met each other, but can we stop this debate!?" 

"The room suddenly turned red "I am sorry for the troubles these two defective pearls have bought you. For pearls exhibiting problems this severe, rejuvenation is required. When the process is complete, they will obey you without fail" said Shell. 

A pair of oyster shells suddenly appeared and incased the two pearls. "Rejuvenation!? Oh no, not this shit again!" said Steven. "Do not worry Steven Universe. Your pearls are about to be better than new. Feel free to watch their progress on the view screen!"

A screen popped up showing both pearls struggling to escape. "I'm sorry for not believing in you, it looks like I'm still making excuses for her" said Pearl. "Is that what I've been doing? But she didn't mean too!"

"But you've been hurt! Badly hurt!" "I was badly hurt! How did you stop hurting!?" "I didn't" said Pearl as she hugged her fellow pearl. The two pearls embraced each other as they melded together and the shells exploded.

Out came a tall fused pearl, a Mega Pearl. "Warning: Unauthorized entity found within the facility. Defence protocol activated" said Shell. "Let's get the hell out of here!" said Steven. Mega Pearl nodded. 

The door to The Care Center suddenly closed but Mega Pearl kicked the door down as her and Steven ran down the corridor, dodging the many security measures.

Mega Pearl got captured by some tendrils but Steven managed to get past a giant clam shell and grabbed a hand shaped pedestal at the end of the hall, shutting the facility down "and that's why I don't like The Apple Store..."

Later that night on The Beach, Steven sat with Mega Pearl "Sorry we made the trip for nothing" said Steven. "It wasn't for nothing" said Mega Pearl "your mothers pearls never had the full picture. One knew your mother was trying to change but she didn't know why. The other thought she would never change at all. Now I get to understand everything. Now they finally have each other."

The two pearls than unfused as they looked to the sky.

Chapter Text

Steven appeared in front of a camera, making a commercial for Little Homeworld's Little Homeschool program.

"Greetings to gems everywhere. I understand Era 3 and all this newfound freedom can be confusing for some gems who were used to the old ways, but we can help you adapt with our Little Homeschool program here on Earth's premiere Homeworld Embassy, Little Homeworld. Here, we can help you learn how to new things, discover something about yourself that you never even realized. And for those seeking out a new life on Earth, we can also teach you about how to live on Earth. Your original intended purpose may not have meaning anymore but that doesn't mean your life has no meaning. Anyone can change, even you. For more information, you can visit us live or on our website, which can be accessed with even gem communication networks, at www.LittleHomeworld.gov/LittleHomeschool."

"Aaaand, cut!" Steven instructed "okay, now all we need to do his edit this and put some happy sounding royalty free music in the background, the kind companies use for training videos or informative videos, stuff like that. Then, we launch this baby"

"Right on, Steven!" said Nephrite, whom Steven was teaching video editing "by the way, when is Rebecca done with today's schooling session? We were going to do laser tag when she came home." 

"Nope, you've still got about three hours before school lets out" said Steven. "Awwww" said Nephrite, disappointed. 

"Steven, you smell good!" said Peridot. "Huh? Oh, you noticed my new deodorant, did you?" Steven responded. "Actually, it was written on your back" said Peridot. "Huh?" Steven felt on his back on pulled off a taped message.

"Please tell me I smell good" read the sign. "Did you do this?" asked Steven. "Ha! You obviously wrote that yourself" said Peridot. As Steven pondered this situation, he reached in for a can he kept in his cooler and drank from it.

"What? Tomato soup? Where the hell's my peach soda?" said Steven. He then hears a mysterious laugh and then noticed something else "Sweet merciful crap! My car...has some packages of toilet paper on it....well, saves on shopping...whoever's trying to prank me, you're TPing wrong!"

Steven then drove back home, he then noticed some gems hanging around his house "another welcome party? I've got to talk to Bismuth about adding a party hall to the property. These parties were fun at first but this house is still my home and sometimes I just wanna relax after work."

Steven went inside and was immediately greeted by Amethyst "Yo, bro! Come over here and introduce yourself!" she pulled on Steven's arm as Pearl and Garnet went aside to reveal a new small gem that had a red and blue colouring.

"Welcome to Earth, my name's-" "Well, well, well, if it ain't the Ol' Gem Saviour himself, Steven Universe!" The new gem greeted in a cockney accent. Steven then realized it was a fusion gem, and its gemstones were awfully familiar to Steven.

"The bitchy fairy and the one eyed chihuahua!" Steven thought internally. "Bluebird Azurite, at your service! Give us a hug then" said The Fusion hugging him. "Cute" said Garnet. "Oh! You like food, yeah?" asked Bluebird.

"Yeah, typically" said Steven. "Hold still! I'll be right back!" Bluebird Azurite flew away. "Yeah, she just got here and she's already trying Earth cuisine!" said Pearl. 

Bluebird flew back with a platter consisting of an assortment of various objects. "Uh...what is this?" asked Steven. "Just some old Earth things! Clams, peanut butter and a slice of grass!" said Bluebird Azurite "Please enjoy it! I'm begging you! Please!"

"Come on, bro, don't make her beg!" said Amethyst. "O-okay..." Steven reluctantly took some grass and dipped it into the peanut butter "mmmmm!" he lied "say, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, may I speak with you in private?"

Steven took the gems into the bathroom with him "okay, guys, this may sound crazy but I think Bluebird may be the fusion of Aquamarine and Eyeball!" "Well, duh!" said Amethyst. "It was obvious" said Garnet. 

"What!? You knew it was them! Eyeball tried to kill me! Aquamarine was a total bitch who abducted me and had me put on trial, to which Eyeball ratted me out as being my mom, which was total bullshit! And you're okay with them being here!?"

"That was them. This is Bluebird" said Garnet. "That platter she gave me had the three most common allergies on them, peanuts, shellfish and pollen from the grass" said Steven.

"Yeah, but you're allergic to only pollen and even then it's a very minor one" said Pearl.

"But SHE didn't know that I wasn't deathly allergic to them! She must have been trying to kill me, and they're using their fusion as a ruse!" said Steven "not to mention, she put a sign on my back that said "I smelled good" and replaced my soda with tomato soup and neatly placed some new toilet paper on top of my car!"

"None of that sounds particularly malicious" said Pearl. "And don't you like tomato soup?" asked Amethyst. "Well, not to drink!" said Steven.

"Steven, you said yourself that every gem deserves a second chance, it says so on the website!" said Pearl "besides, you literally invited all problematic gems to come here and learn a better way of living."

"I meant at Little Homeworld, not my home...ugh! Fine! I'll give her the benefit of the doubt" said Steven "but the moment she tries anything funny, I'm gonna kick her ass!" "Fair enough" said Garnet. 

Steven exited the bathroom and saw Bluebird holding a soda can "I'm so sorry, when I offered you my array of food, I forgot to give you a drink to wash it down with!" she then snapped open the can and it sprayed Steven.

"Oops! How'd that happen?" said Bluebird all innocent. "My good suit! Why you little-!" "Chance to change" Garnet reminded him. "...obviously you accidentally shook it" Steven said with a sigh.

Steven then went up to his bedroom to change into some new clothes and put his suit in the laundry, he came home to find Connie who was bewildered by Bluebird Azurite's appearance.

"Steven...this gem a fusion of..." "Yes, Connie, Aquamarine the bitchy fairy and Eyeball the one eyed chihuahua" said Steven "I thought they'd have left by now."

"But why is she here, at our house, where our kids also live?" asked Connie. "Because, Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl insist that I give her a second chance" said Steven. "Oh god, she's got a knife, and she's next to Joshua!" said Connie.

"Pearl! Take the knife from her!" Steven called out. "Well how else is she going to give Joshua a slice of the cake he baked for you and the rest of your family?" asked Pearl as she pulled a cake out of the oven.

And upon closer inspection, Joshua was holding out his plate in anticipation. Steven and Connie breathed a collective sigh of relief. 

The next day Steven went for a walk alone after his lunch break, he appreciated the ruby bodyguards guarding, but they were a bit too overzealous with their duties. In the bushes, Bluebird spies on him.

"Heh heh heh, this trap is brilliant! I set it up exactly the way the child in that cartoon did! If this works like I think it will, it will destroy his reputation as a politician for sure!" she snickered.

Steven noticed a sign that said "Free Donuts" with an arrow pointing up to a ladder built onto a tree and a hastily built platform in the branches. Steven, out of curiosity, climbed the ladder, the top of the platform was carpeted and the donuts were in a box at the very edge of the platform

"Hmmm...this looks suspicious, but delicious!" Steven made a step forward and fell through a hole sawed in the platform that the carpet was covering up. He found himself dangling with his ankle caught in a small noose. 

The rope the noose was tied too was attached to a clothesline pulley system, his weight caused the clothesline to send him forward, Steven looked ahead and saw what was coming.

"Aaaah! Cacti!" Steven yelped as he was pelted by an array of cacti, including an especially prickly pair of them. But Steven's torment was not yet done "Ooooh! Dirty diapers on strings!" and he pelted by the slimy used diapers. 

But eventually his "ride stopped and he breathed a sigh of relief "Time to put this ordeal behind me!" said Steven as he saw a conveniently placed pair of scissors on a rope. As he took the scissors and cut himself free, he found himself falling into a kiddie pool of green paint.

He couldn't take it anymore and tore off his shirt, revealing his torso to be dyed green by the paint as he lot out a furious roar "STEVEN MAD!!!" as he stormed off in blind fury.

He then smashed through a nearby picket fence letting out another angered roar. On the other side of the fence were all these canopy tents, each with different set ups and people dressed in all sorts of cosplay.

He was immediately met with applause, Steven's confusion at the whole thing caused him to calm down. He looked up and saw a banner that said "1st Annual Beach City Outdoor Comic-Con!" 

"Wow, great Hulk cosplay Mayor Universe" said Ronaldo who was dressed a Thor "painting yourself green was kinda cliche but man, your anger really sold it, it felt so believable! Hey! Me and my friends needed a hulk, come with me!"

The next day, Beach City Bugle came out with Steven, still painted green alongside Ronaldo and friends who were dressed like other members of The Avengers. The headline read "Mayor Steven makes a SMASHING surprise visit at Beach City Comic-Con! 

The subheading read "Mayor's not afraid to let his inner geek out to show how much community spirit he has." "Well, how was I supposed to know this event was happening!?" asked Bluebird's Eyeball half.

"We need a new plan..." said Bluebird's Aquamarine side. Back at The Universe Residence, Steven and Connie were reading the paper. "Thank goodness that comic-con was happening that day" said Steven "so glad I gave it my stamp of approval!"

"Yeah, it'd have been real hard to save face after that if it weren't for Ronaldo's idea" said Connie "that trap you fell victim too just HAD to be Bluebird!" "Oh, I totally agree with you!" said Connie. 

"AAAAAH! MOMMY! DADDY!" Joshua's voice cried out in despair. Steven and Connie ran outside and saw Joshua on the roof being held captive. "JOSHUA!" Steven and Connie collectively screamed in horror.

"An Era ago, two gems were celebrated for catching Homeworld's greatest traitor! But then they were cast out, forgotten, when the traitor duped all of Homeworld into loving him and his family instead. Now they've come to Earth for revenge! And forever he shall rue the names-"

Bluebird unfused "Aquamarine!" "and Ruby!" "Well, at least they got my pronouns right this time" said Steven. "Well!? It's us!" said Aquamarine. "It's always been us! And you never knew!" said Eyeball.

"Uh, no, I knew, everyone knew." said Connie. "What!?" said Aquamarine. "If you knew then why were your friends being so nice to us, huh!?" Eyeball interrogated. "They're nice, they're nice people, unlike you!" said Steven. 

"Enough of this!" said Aquamarine as she hoisted Joshua up by the collar of his shirt and then Eyeball held her dagger close to Joshua. Steven and Connie gasped. "Let me go! Let me go!" said Joshua, flailing desperately.

"We've done a little research into your family and their life, and we know how much you love your precious son" said Aquamarine. "Let him go!" Steven demanded. "Then destroy your house!" said Aquamarine.

"Yeah!" added Eyeball. "Bubble your friends!" "Yeah!" "And burn Little Homeworld to the ground!" "Yeah!"

"None of that is going to happen! You're going to let my son go or else anything you do to him, I'll do to you! Twice!" said Steven. "I see...very well, say goodbye to the most useless member of The Universe Family!" said Eyeball as she readied her blade.

"Hey! I'm not useless!" said Joshua. Both Aquamarine and Eyeball looked at each other and laughed. "Your father went up against The Diamonds, your sister apparently overwhelmed White Diamond, and what did YOU do? Stay home?" asked Aquamarine. 

"I was...I was only one" said Joshua. "Excuses. Even your Mommy did more than you and she's just a dumb ol' normal human!" Eyeball taunted. "NO!" Joshua shouted as suddenly, a pink mannequin-like arm came out from Joshua and slugged Eyeball right in the jaw. 

"Steven...is that...?" asked Connie "I think it is..." said Steven. Aquamarine was in a state of shock as the rest of the brand new blank gem manifested out of Joshua's body, but this was different from Rebecca's blank when she first summoned hers back when it was a blank.

This one had a much more masculine physique, before Aquamarine could react, with a resounding "MUDA!!" coming from Joshua's blank, it punched Aquamarine, that it sent her flying in Eyeball's direction, mid-flight she dropped Joshua back on the roof as Aquamarine landed on Eyeball.

"Muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda muda!!!!" Joshua's blank delivered a flurry of punches that seemed more aggressive than what his sister's blank did. 

"Impossible! Rebecca's blank first appeared as armour over her" said Steven "Rebecca Diamond didn't emerge as a blank until the second time she was called out, but that was after Frybo knocked her down!"

"Do you think that it was because he was angry at them rather than trying to protect himself like when Rebecca was trying to protect herself from that weird painting?" asked Connie. 

"We must...recombine..." said Aquamarine. "I...agree..." said Eyeball as the two refused back into Bluebird, but it was too late, Bluebird received a punch on both sides of the head by both of Joshua's blank's arms as the blank made a "WRRRRYYYYYY!!!!!!" sound.

Bluebird immediately poofed. Steven immediately leapt up to the roof "Joshua!" he said. "Daddy! Did you see me? Did you see me? I beat the bad guys!" Joshua proclaimed. "I'm more happy that you're safe" said Steven.

The gems then came out as Steven and Joshua came down from the roof. "What's going on out here!?" asked Pearl. Suddenly, they heard the sounds of two gems reforming.

"Oh! We've been defeated! By the Useless Universe, no less!" Aquamarine fumed, carrying Eyeball. "Don't think this will stop us!" said Eyeball. "You may have gotten us this time, but we'll be out there!" said Aquamarine.

"Hating you!" Eyeball added. "Forever!" "You smellllllll" The two maliciously laughed as they took off into the sky. "I guess there are gems out there who really hate you" said Amethyst.

"Well, Garnet, Pearl! I told you so!" said Steven. "I guess you're right...but, why do you refer to Eyeball as a chihuahua?" asked Pearl. "Because rubies kinda remind me of chihuahuas" said Steven.

"Not a bad comparison, rubies are small and cute, but they can be aggressive, but at the same time, they can be really sweet" said Garnet. 

Chapter Text

"So, is it really bad for my eyes if I sit too close to the TV?" asked Ocean Jasper. "Only if you're human! But you? Go nuts!" Sunstone responded. Ocean Jasper and the rest of the gems Sunstone was teaching got in close to the TV.

Sunstone was teaching an Earth safety seminar, although, given that it's Sunstone, this could be a  "safety seminar" in name only. "What are those guys on TV doing?" asked Nephrite. 

"I'm glad you asked! See, these fancy dressed people are practicing politics, what you are watching is democracy in action...or at least, that's what they want you to think" said Sunstone "but what they're actually doing is just spouting rhetoric at each other instead of doing any actual work."

"This seems kind of boring, who would want to watch this?" asked Ocean Jasper. "I dunno, mostly people who lead dull uninteresting lives. Those people would usually get into fights with others like them, even at family gatherings" said Sunstone.

It was then that Sunstone stopped a gem on their way up the stairs "Hold it! Those stairs have various objects on them! You could slip if you don't watch your step. Always make sure the stairs are clear!"

Sunstone snapped their fingers and suddenly Jasper was at the top of the stairs "Huh? How did I...?" Jasper slipped on a water bottle and fell down the stairs and groaned when she hit the bottom.

"And that's what'll happen when you leave a staircase cluttered! Thank you Jasper!" said Sunstone as they snapped their fingers and made Jasper disappear. Sunstone then picked up the water bottle Jasper slipped on.

"Can anyone tell me where to put this?" asked Sunstone. "The garbage!" answered one gem in the room. "Wrong! This is a water bottle, drinking bottles go into recycling, they can be melted down to be made into a new water bottle!"

"Ooooh!" said all the gems. "Also, don't leave the lid off a garbage can at night, you never know what kind of pest could be nosing through it" said Sunstone as they then pulled out a confused looking Greg from the trash can.

Sunstone then slammed the lid shut on the garbage can "Alright everyone! Time for our traffic safety portion of the seminar, now, human roads can be dangerous, but if you know what to do around them, you'll be as safe as can be!"

Sunstone led their class to a crosswalk "Now, this is a crosswalk, now there's no streetlight here, so we don't have to wait for a green light, but you still need to be mindful of incoming traffic such as cars, trucks, motorcycles, pretty much anything with wheels! So, look both ways before crossing or else this could be you!"

Bluebird Azurite was on the other side of the street, not because Sunstone summoned her there, but because Sunstone had the vision that she was going to be there "You think you can hide behind a fusion Steven Universe!?"

Bluebird flew towards them, blades readied "It's going to take more than that to best-" an eighteen wheeler truck suddenly came speeding by and hit Bluebird! Bluebird was laid out on the truck's windshield like a bug.

The speeding truck was driven by none other than Sunstone in a trucker's outfit of plaid shirt, jeans and a big trucker's cap "Eeew! The bugs seem to get bigger every year!" said Trucker Sunstone. 

"Anyway! Now come with me to my car, and remember, seatbelts!" said Sunstone as they summoned a small car with Jasper strapped inside, before she can bust out of the car, it moved at a very fast speed that almost approached mach 1!

The car then crashed into a brick wall, leaving Japer, who was flung through the windshield upon impact, all dazed. "And that's why we wear seatbelts, remember, nobody wants to be a Jasper...Except for you Ocean, you're one of the good ones! Now come on! It's time for our field trip!"

Sunstone drove all their students to a railway crossing "Now, this is a railway crossing! Beats me why they decided having a road for cars cross train tracks but, point is, they exist! Now, these are a bit different from crosswalks and stoplights. First, you must come to a complete stop and turn off all music and roll down the window so you can listen for incoming trains! Now, when a train is approaching, these bars will come down and a bell will sound, and they'll remain down for as long as the train is passing through, which could take a while if it's a freight train!" 

Suddenly, Bluebird Azurite appeared once again "You may have escaped your doom thanks to a truck! But this time, this time your end is n- Huh? What's that dinging? Why are those bars going down?"

And then WHAM! A freight train slammed Bluebird "You haven't heard the last of meeeeeeeeeeeeee!" she cried out in vain, as no one could hear her. "Just remember what I taught you and that won't be you" said Sunstone.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Wasn't that funny? Hey everyone, it's me, Sunstone, the one from this AU not the lame canon one. Anyway, we here at this AU are always looking at the comments that you, the reader, leave behind.

We love and appreciate your feedback and we take most of your suggestions into consideration, now, of course, we can't honour all your suggestions. But just because we don't honour your suggestion doesn't mean we don't appreciate it.

Now, on to our main topic, a big topic of discussion among our readers is Red Diamond, the big bad we've been hyping up, well, don't worry, she's coming, and it won't be a long wait! Heck, she'll appear in this AU long before George .R.R. Martin finally gets around to releasing Winds of Winter!

And a bit of a warning to you all, any episodes featuring Red Diamond will have a higher than average age rating, she'll be THAT kind of villain. Be careful though, I can guarantee a favourite character of yours could end up one of Red's victims!

Seriously, the author's got some messed up stuff involving Red planned. I don't think he's quite alright, you know, up there. 

Chapter Text

It's a new year in Beach City! But apparently there's a last era problem happening on a distant world. Apparently there have been reports of two lapis lazulis that are still terraforming planets that were planned on being colonized. 

Given that they were other lapises, Steven bought along Lapis for the mission. "This shouldn't too long, most gems come around quickly when I invite them to Little Homeschool" said Steven.

"What a gorgeous planet" said Lapis looking around the beautiful forest on the surface of this planet. "All the more reason to make sure those two gems get the message" said Steven "nobody's destroying planets."

Suddenly, Lapis and Steven come across a small bud like creature. It startled both Steven and Lapis, both of which caused the bud like creature to panic. Steven got down and held his fist out to the creature.

"It's okay, fella, I'm not going to hurt you" said Steven. The creature timidly approached Steven but eventually crawled up his arm "Whoa! Ha ha ha!" "Wow, Steven, it took you five whole seconds to make new friend" said Lapis.

Lapis then kneeled down next to Steven to get a closer look at the creature "You know, I never used to notice creatures like this. Before Earth and Rebecca, I used to terraform planets without thinking twice about it. I wonder what I destroyed. Life like this is so precious." 

The bud creature then opened itself, revealing the beautiful flower it was containing. They then hear a wooshing sound. Steven and Lapis quickly get up to see a ledge, one that's been unnaturally formed, as if something sliced through the land itself.

"So, the rumours are true" said Steven. "So, what do we do?" asked Lapis. "We're gonna find them, see if we can persuade them into stopping, if not...well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it" said Steven.

"Over there!" said Lapis as she saw a blue figure flying through the sky. "Hey! Wait! Stop!" Steven called out. Suddenly there were two lapis lazulies in the sky.

"Hey look, It's Steven Universe" said a freckled lapis. "He's a lot smaller than I thought" said the other Lapis with a curly bob style haircut. "That's because you're way up there! Come down here!" said Steven.

"Fair enough" said Curly Lapis. The two lapis lazulis floated down "What do you think? We're almost finished with this world!" said Freckled Lapis. "And who's this? We don't need extra help" said Curly Lapis.

"You must have heard of our exemplary work!" said Freckled Lapis "that's why you're here, I presume?" "No, I'm here because I suggest that you quit it" said Steven. "Why?" asked Curly Lapis.

"Well, I don't know if you've noticed, but the Empire's over, I stopped it before it could even strike back, so there's no need to terraform" said Steven "you're free to do whatever you like."

"Oh, I see. This must be a misunderstanding" said Freckled Lapis. "Terraforming IS what we like" said Curly Lapis. "You do know that this planet it home to innocent lifeforms, right?" asked Steven. 

"Yeah, and?" asked Curly Lapis. "It's wrong" said Lapis. "Wait, wait, wait, how can the one thing we've always done be wrong?" asked Freckled Lapis "at the very least, we've got to finish this world, we're almost done!"

"Well, I don't care if you're almost done, you're stopping now" said Steven "and for the record, what you've been doing has ALWAYS been wrong! You just didn't know that because the Diamonds didn't know better! There are living creatures on this island, they have yet to evolve and develop a new civilization, simple creatures with so much potential to become so much more than they are, this is their home!"

"Why should I care?" asked Curly Lapis. "How would you feel, if someone came over to Homeworld and started terraforming, maybe even, say, Blue Diamond gets harmed in the process, how would that feel?" asked Steven. 

"Not good, I guess. But, this isn't Homeworld, so, don't care" said Curly Lapis. "Okay. She's being a bitch. Time to make her understand my peaceful ways...by force" said Steven. "No, I have an idea..." said Lapis as she whispered to Steven.

"Ugh, fine, you two, follow me" said Steven. "Should we listen to him?" asked Freckled Lapis. "He is half-diamond, maybe we should half-listen" suggested Curly Lapis.

"Keep up that smart-alecky attitude and you'll have half an ass" Steven scolded "anyway, take a look around you, feel the breeze, smell the fresh air...feel anything yet?"

"Everything is so...bright" said Freckled Lapis. "I only prefer two colours, the colours of rock and mud" said Curly Lapis.

"I understand you don't see the beauty in this, it took me a while too" said Lapis "but I learned to really appreciate organic life. It's really different and special. Maybe try something like this."

Lapis used her powers to make a sphere in the mud. "This is called "Meep-Morp" It's subjective and debatable, but it exists" said Lapis. "You can use your powers to make anything and you choose to make that?" Curly Lapis criticized.

"It's better than what you make, which is nothing!!!" Steven responded. "It doesn't have to be like this, you can make anything" said Lapis as she turned the mud craft into sun lounger.

"It's more satisfying than you think" said Lapis "here, give it a try!" The two Lapides made orbs out of water. "That's it! Try other shapes too! Anything you want!" said Lapis. 

The Lapides then made a buzzsaw and a spike ball and began wrecking stuff with it "Oh hey! That was way easier than what we've been doing this whole time!" "We can clear out this planet in no time!" said The Lapides.

 "No! No you will not!" said Steven "this is someone else's Homeworld!" "You don't understand! There are other ways of expressing yourself and destroying everything!" said Lapis "you can even express your feelings through song!"

"Uh, Lapis, I don't think that'll work" said Steven "Trust me, it will...

Oooooh! Why so blu-u-ue?

So many shades of sorrow get mixed up into my hue

And each new moment just astounds me, so much I wanna do.

I finally feel my colours shining through!

That mirror was a prison, Malachite, Just the same!

What's with these new sensations that suddenly appear?

Deep as the roaring ocean, Free as the atmosphere!

Ooooo-ooo-oooh, Why so Blu-uuuu-ue?

So many different reasons, but are they really true?

I wanna keep on going, I wanna be right here with you!

I'd love to see you're true colours shining throuuuuuuugh!

The Lapides were both laughing "You expect us to sing like a bunch of Pearls, Steven Universe?" said Curly Lapis. "The Diamonds sang like that too, during Era 2, I've got it on video!" said Steven.

"You've already got a Lapis doing what you want and look how dull it's made her, or has she always been this pitiful?" Curly Lapis scoffed.

"You've been doing the same thing for thousands of years and look how much a bitch it made you. And that hairstyle? Soooo 1955, you're the dull one" said Steven "you're lame even by baby boomer standards." 

"You've taken enough of our time, let's get back to it, shall we?" said Curly as her and Freckles took to the sky when continued terraforming.

"Alright, Steven, I admit my idea was stupid, let's do it the old fashioned way" said Lapis. The Lapides continued terraforming, wiping out the land, strip after strip when a giant water hand flicked 'em out of nowhere.

"Water hands? Mind if we try" Curly Lapis mocked as her and her friend counter attacked with an even bigger water hand struck Lapis, sending her flying towards Steven, but she stopped herself and tried summoning water chains.

"Water chains?" Curly Lapis cackled. "You really gotta stop teaching us new things" said Freckled Lapis as they teamed up and chained Lapis before she could even get her chains close to 'em.

"Ah, screw it, Lapis, here I come" said Steven as he leaped towards Lapis. The two Lapises weren't paying attention to Steven as they went back to terraforming when suddenly, a bolt of lightning hit Curly Lapis.

"Har har har! Ye may be good at controlling water, but I master it" said a pirate's voice. The two Lapises saw a purple fusion "Avast, me hearties, for ye be in the presence of Captain Charoite!" said Charoite.

"Did she fuse? With a diamond!?" said Freckles. "Oh can it! Not like they can do much. Steven Universe is only half a diamond, what can their combined strength do?" said Curly before being struck by lighting again. 

"Ye call yerselves ocean gems, but all I see are a bunch of landlubbers!" said Charoite as they conjured up a tower of water that instantly froze around the both of them, trapping them. 

Charoite then conjured up a gigantic version of themselves "Do ye still think this Lapis is dull?" The Charoite Water titan then summoned a giant anchor and pointed the end of it towards Freckles and Curly.

"I can easily break yer gems like this, but I ain't going ta', but do you appreciate yer lives more, now that they're in someone else's hands!? DO YE!? BE YE AFRAID!!!?" "AAAAH!" "YES!" The Lapides both said. 

Suddenly the Lapises were both free and Steven and Lapis had unfused "And now you know how the native lifeforms feel" said Lapis. "So, no more terraforming, got it?" Steven added.

"Yes! After that display of strength, we'll do what you say!" said Curly. "Good, now leave this planet alone" said Steven "Oh, and here's some brochures for Little Homeschool, if you want to." He tossed the brochures to both Lapises.

Back on Earth Steven and Lapis both left The Warp Pad, arriving at Earth "...sorry I didn't think to use action to convince them, guess I've been spending too much time with Rebecca" said Lapis.

"Ah, she's a good kid, besides, it's not so bad, at least you tried to do it the nice way, and I thought you were doing a terrific job" said Steven. "Really? But they all laughed at me" said Lapis.

"Some people are too stubborn to change" said Steven "not your fault." "They reminded me so much of who I used to be, I thought I could convince them" said Lapis.

"Well, you did your best, and that's the best anyone can do" said Steven "besides, everyone has something in their past that they regret...and who knows? Maybe you actually did touch one of them?"

Suddenly, behind them was the freckled Lapis. "Um...Hi. Is this, the school you mentioned?" she asked. "Yes. Welcome!" said Lapis

Chapter Text

Steven was headed on up to Spacetries to buy some treats for himself, his wife & kids, and to pick up a cake he had specially ordered. On his car radio Sadie Killer And The Suspects initial song with the same name as the band was playing.

"Man, I never get tired of this song" said Steven as he hopped out the car. The bell jungled as Steven made his way into the car "Gooood morning Spacetries! Hey, Blue Lace!" Steven greeted.

Blue Lace nodded as she slammed the dough she was kneading. "Lars, how's the proprietor of my favourite bakery in town?" asked Steven. "Steven, this is the only bakery in town" said Lars.

"Ah, learn to take a compliment" said Steven. Both him and Lars shared a laugh at their own exchange. "You here for the cake you ordered?" asked Lars. "Yup, plus four cupcakes for me and the family" said Steven.

"Oh yeah, it IS Friday, almost forgot" said Lars "takes me back to the days when you and Rebecca used to stop by The Big Donut weekly for some Cookie Cats."

"Hard to believe she was only four the last time we did that" said Steven "kids grow up so fast...a little faster than I'd like them too." "Lars, Steven, what's up?" said a familiar voice.

Sadie and Amethyst popped on in "Hey, Steven, guess who I ran into?" asked Amethyst. "We heard Sadie's voice before you told us that, Amethyst" said Steven. "Whoops" said Amethyst.

"Hey Sadie, it's been a while. You look like you're doing well" said Steven "why, I think you've grown a few inches." "Oh shut up" said Sadie, while chuckling "that joke's not funny anymore!"

"Then why are you laughing?" Amethyst teased. Soon, everyone in the bakery was laughing for a moment. "Man, it's so cool, having all of us together in pastry shop, just like old times" said Amethyst.

"Except this time, we all get along now" said Steven. "Hey, Sadie, I got your moon cakes" said Lars giving her a box of moon shaped mini-cakes. "Thanks so much!" said Sadie as she picked up a box and then paused "Amethyst, would you like one?"

"Thought you'd never ask!" said Amethyst as she reached into the box and grabbed one. Sadie giggled "You've changed, Amethyst, but your appetite is the one thing about you that never changes."

"So, how's thing's going with Shep?" asked Lars. "Great! They're so cool!" said Sadie "I can't believe we've been dating for two months now. Everything just feels so easy!"

"Shep? Who's Shep?" asked Steven. "Oh yeah, you haven't met them yet!" said Amethyst. "Well, that's awesome, say "Hi" to them for me!" said Lars. "Will do. Thanks! I've got to see them now, hang out later, Amethyst!" said Sadie.

"Could someone fill me in now?" asked Steven. "Shep is Sadie's new partner" said Lars "they met while she was on tour with the suspects. It's cool." "Yeah, I get to meet them tonight" said Amethyst "after all she told me about them, can't wait."

"So, things didn't work out with you and Sadie, huh?" said Steven. "Yup" "Tough break, Lars. But it looks like you're on good terms, at least" said Steven "besides, there are other fish in the sea." 

"Well, it IS a big universe out there" said Lars "If I find someone else, it probably won't be on Earth, or maybe it will when I come back to visit every now and again, now that The Off Colours are done with school, I'm thinking of going back into space."

"Whaaaat!?" Steven and Amethyst exclaimed. "Whoa, you're leaving, but what about this place! Amethyst can't do well without her goodies! The Big Donut just don't cut it no more!" Amethyst lamented.

"I asked Blue Lace to run the store in my stead" said Lars. "Oh, that's okay then" said Amethyst.

"Yeah, anyway, I think I'm ready to move on. You get it right? You used to be some surly Auto-Repair shop owner, and now you're a bright and optimistic Mayor" said Lars.

"You know what? You're right...I've been through a lot of changes" said Steven "well, if that's what you want, I won't stop you. It's been great getting to know you, Lars."

"Thanks, that means a lot coming from you" said Lars "the past few years, you've become like the older brother I never had. Oh! Looks like your graduation cake's ready, and here's your wife and kids' cupcakes. See you tonight!"

Later that night, Steven was giving his speech onstage with The Off Colours wearing mortar board caps behind him. "And so, I would like you all to join me as we congratulate Little Homeschool's first ever graduates, there first of many, I hope. For this ceremony isn't just a celebration of accomplishment, but a celebration to honour them as they make the next step! Go on, Graduates! Move those tassels!"

Fluorite, Rhodonite, and The Rutiles all moved their tassels to the left, except for Padparadscha who was, as usual, a bit behind on everything. But Fluorite decided to be a good friend and move it for her.

The audience all clapped in a congratulatory manner "and with that, let the festivities commence!" said Steven. Steven hopped down from the stage and saw Sadie with a tall looking dark skinned individual. 

"Hi Steven, I don't think I've introduced you to my new partner" said Sadie. "Hi, I'm Shep. It's cool to finally meet you" said Shep. "Hi, Shep! What, are Larry and Moe hanging out with Curly?" Steven joked.

Shep and Sadie looked confused. "Heh, sorry, I forgot, the two of are too young to know The Three Stooges" Steven apologized "basically, they're a trio of comedic actors well known for their short films, they mostly just hit each other a lot. Usually starring Larry, Curly and Moe, but sometimes Curly's not available for whatever reason so he's replaced with a fourth guy with the same name as you."

"Oh, okay" said Shep. "Yeah, The Stooges are a lot funnier than I'm making them sound, you should check 'em out sometime" said Steven. "Okay, sure, I'll look 'em up sometime" said Shep.

"Anyway, it's nice to meet you, you seem nice" said Steven. "Thanks, you too! Aside from Amethyst, Sadie's told me a lot about you" said Shep. "Did she now? Nothing bad, I hope" Steven joked.

"Yooooooooo! BESTIE!" said Amethyst sneaking up from behind Sadie. "AH! Amethyst, you scared me half to death, you goofball!" Sadie giggled. "Wow! Nice to meet you Amethyst! I've heard a lot about you!" said Shep.

"I know, I am the number one topic of conversation" Amethyst bragged. "Oh! Quick, Sadie, we should grab some cake before we go on at 7:00" Shep suggested. "Oh right!" said Sadie.

"Wait, aren't you singing with The Suspects at that time?" asked Steven. "Actually, I was thinking of doing a song with Shep" said Sadie. "Okay, that's fine I suppose" said Steven. 

"Oh yeah, I got a text from her about a week ago saying that The Band Broke up" said Amethyst.

"Well, that would have been good to know before I printed the schedule for tonight's event and posted it on the upcoming events bulletin board!" Steven groaned "so, what happened?"

"I guess they just wanted to move on to bigger and better things, I guess" said Amethyst "apparently, Sour Cream's got some regular DJ gigs over at Empire, Buck's planning on medical school and Jenny's got this cool Phone Jacket business! She gave me a sample!"

Amethyst then showed Steven her phone which had a mini leather jacket with little pockets and inside those pockets was a littler phone.

"Wow, that's good craftsmanship, and wait..Buck's going to Medical School? I've got to admit, I did not see that coming, didn't seem the type" said Steven.

"I know! Oh, and speaking of future's, Rebecca wants to be a vet when she grows up!" said Amethyst. "Heh, now THAT I can believe. She's always been an animal lover, and I think animals feel the same way about her" said Steven. 

"What about you?" asked Amethyst. "Well, I've got retirement plans, I'm planning on exploring the world" said Steven "I've mostly been around here my whole life and when I retire, I want to broaden my horizons."

"Deep man...you sure you'll be able to do that if you're all old and such?" asked Amethyst. "Eh, I've got gem based stamina, I'll be fine, and if Connie's with me, I'll carry her on my shoulders" said Steven.

"You've thought of everything, man...OH! I think it's time for Sadie and Shep's performance!" said Amethyst. "Oh right!" said Steven as he ran up to the stage.

"Alright everyone, now, we've had a change in schedule due to...lack of communication in the planning committee" said Steven, to which Amethyst blushed in embarrassment "so, unfortunately, Sadie Killer and The Suspects will not be playing tonight, but instead you'll have Sadie Miller and her new partner Shep, who wish to perform something they made together." 

Sadie took the mic "Hi everyone, as Steven said, this is something me and Shep have been working on and w-we really hope you like it" "We welcome any and all critique after the show" said Shep. 

"When I was younger and I hated fun

I was always looking back on what I should have done.

I used to live my life in fear of the terrible performance that bought me here, but

I'm moving  forward, I'm moving forward, I'm moving forward now

I'm moving forward, I'm moving forward, I'm moving forward now

It's hard to live your life in stride

When you feel the way I always used to feel inside.

Now it's too easy that it's strange

I am a person and the person I am can change, so

I'm moving forward, I'm moving forward, I'm moving forward now

I'm moving forward, I'm moving forward, I'm moving forward now.

The audience cheered as Sadie and Shep did a bow. "Wow, that was nice, eh, Steven?" asked Amethyst.

"Well, the lyrics were very appropriate for the event but...call me old fashioned, but I miss the punk rock thing Sadie had with the suspects" said Steven. 

Chapter Text

Steven was driving with Connie, Rebecca, Pearl and Bismuth. They were headed to a roller disco. "Man, it's been years since we last came here, huh, Connie?" said Steven. 

"Yeah, I remember having to teach you how to skate" said Connie. Rebecca was laughing "For real!?" "Yeah, you should have seen him back then, slipping and sliding all over the place" Connie teased. 

"You didn't have to tell her that" Steven groaned in embarrassment. "Oh lighten up, Steven. What are mothers for if not telling their daughters embarrassing stories about their fathers?" said Connie. 

"Oh! Turn up the radio, Mom, I love this song!" said Rebecca. "Oh! Me too!" said Connie as she turned up the radio which played the song "Can't Hold Me" by Emily King.

Steven smiled as his wife and daughter sang along to the song the whole way there until the song stopped "And that was "Can't Hold Me" by Emily King" said Sour Cream's voice over the radio "just one of the many songs you can request tonight at the Starlight Roller Rink hosted by me, DJ Sour Cream."

Pearl, meanwhile was rolling up the sleeves of the shirt she bought Bismuth "Ooooh! I'm so excited for you to get out there and experience some interpersonal relationships with humans, Bismuth!"

"Uh, sure..." said Bismuth nervously. Pearl then unbuttoned Bismuth's shirt, which made Bismuth blush "And don't be afraid to show off your gem! They're gonna love you for who you are!" 

"Hope I can keep up" said Bismuth. "Now, the most important thing to remember is-" Pearl got interrupted by a familiar few notes. "Are you tired of mechanics bleeding you dry?" A man on the radio asked.

"Aaah! I love this song!" said Pearl. "Bring it to Cams!" The announcer continued. "The Commercial?" asked Steven. "Turn it up!" said Pearl 

"Cam's Camshafts is the place to bring your wreck!

Get your car repaired without risking your neck!

Cam's Camshafts!"

"Ugh, Cam...now I remember him" Steven grumbled "he was a classmate of mine in Trade School. He's gotten so fake ever since he went all Hollywood. Where's there connection with his customers? Where's the love?"

"Ah men and their rivalries" Connie joked. "What about you and Karen Schmidt?" asked Steven. "Ooooh! I hate her!" Connie said angrily.

"In anywise, given what happened two years ago, I'm not fond of the name for The Roller Rink anymore" said Steven. "Oh yeah, Starlight, like what White Diamond called you!" said Pearl.

"Yes, Pearl, thanks for pointing it out" said Steven, sarcastically. "Man, I'm so excited! I get to roller skate and Alice is gonna be here too!" said Rebecca. "Alice? Who's that?" asked Bismuth.

"Oh, she's a girl Rebecca went to school with until she moved away, they don't get to meet up as often as they did before she moved, but they're the cutest friends!" said Pearl.

"I've told her about this place two days ago. She said she wanted to come meet me here today!" said Rebecca "hmm...don't see her dad's car, though...or did they get a new one?" 

"Maybe they're just running late" said Connie. "Yeah, probably!" said Rebecca as she along with everyone else entered the Rink. "So, people really pay to have wheels strapped to their feet?" asked Bismuth.

"It's more fun than it sounds, trust me" said Steven "oh, Hey Sour Cream!" Steven waved over to Sour Cream who waved back before turning back to the crowd "Keep skating in circles, you're doing great!" 

"I don't know about any of this Y'all, I've never skated before" said Bismuth. "Hey, don't worry, you got me, I'll help you!" said Steven. "You, please, you still need me to hold your hand" Connie joked.

"That was a low blow, Connie" said Steven. "You-hoo! There you are!" said Pearl as she ran up to a trio of humans. "Yo! Pearl!" said a blue haired man. 

"Wow, so that's Pearl's fan club, huh?" said Bismuth "they seem so...friendly and interesting." Bismuth watched as Pearl summoned toilet paper from her gem and handed them the roll.

"Hey, remember Bismuth, Pearl still loves you, she and those people may be friends but what you have with Pearl is more special than that" said Steven. "Yeah...you're right, it's not like I own her or anything" said Bismuth. 

"And besides, you're free to make human friends too, you know" said Steven "that's why Pearl wanted you to come with her, she wants to show you off to her friends and maybe help you find some yourself." 

Pearl then waved them over to have them greet her friends "Steven, Connie, Rebecca, Bismuth, this is Khadijah, Jaime and Brandish! They're just a few of my human friends!" 

Among the three friends aside from the blue haired man was a tall purple haired man and a hippie looking woman "So, have you known Pearl long?" asked Khadijah.

"Pretty much my whole life" said Steven. "I've known her since before me and Steven were married" said Connie. "And I guess I've known Pearl for a thousand years!" said Bismuth. 

"Oh yes! And it was Bismuth who built Little Homeworld!" said Pearl. "You're an architect!?" Khadijah exclaimed. "Something like that" said Bismuth. "Alright, you two, are you ready?" asked Connie.

"Yeah!" said Rebecca and Steven. "Then let's get our skates!" said Connie. The Universe Family all got their skates, of course since Rebecca was under twelve, her skates were free. 

Steven, Connie and Rebecca had a lot of fun skating while Bismuth got into it thanks to Pearl's help. "Wow, Bismuth, the way you skate is marvellous!" said Khadijah. "I love your flow" said Brandish. 

"Well you guys ain't seen nothing yet!" said Bismuth as she lifted up Pearl and swung her across as the both of them laughed. "Bismuth, you're a natural!" said Pearl When humans want to see each other again, they exchange "numbers"! You should try it, I'm sure you'll have fun!"

"I'm having fun already" said Bismuth. "Here, take one of these!" said Pearl "every human has at least one of those in their homes. Some even use it for vandalism." 

Steven oversaw the exchange between her and Bismuth "I've been living with her since I was a kid and she still doesn't know what toilet paper's for." "Let's not spoil her fun" said Connie. 

"Anyway, just keep that in mind if you ever want to try it yourself" said Pearl "now normally this is where I'd take off and make some new connections, but since this our "date" night, dating etiquette suggests we stick together!"

"I'm behind you on that! Any time I spend with you is good time in my book!" said Bismuth. "Hey Bismuth! You gotta show us some of those cool moves!" said Jamie. "Well, if you insist!" said Bismuth. 

"Woo! Alright!" said Jaime. Meanwhile, Rebecca seemed a bit concerned "Alice should be here by now...maybe I should have asked if we could have picked her up" Rebecca said quietly. 

"Alright everybody, it's time for our nightly skate competition! Everyone show off your sickest moves and be crowned "skater of the night"!" Sour Cream announced "Let's get this party started!"

Rebecca looked at the time, and it was an hour until closing and her best friend, her first friend, wasn't there "But...she promised to meet up with me tonight...her mom always calls my mom if they have to cancel..."

Rebecca looked around at everyone else, Bismuth and Pearl were together making new friends. Although she came here with her parents, it was obvious Steven and Connie having fun together as a couple.

Rebecca...didn't have one dance partner. She had never felt such an intense loneliness since Lapis ran away when she was afraid of The Diamonds, except this time it was even more intense.

"What happened? Was it something I did?" asked Rebecca. 

Chapter Text

Steven was having a pretty okay day, he noticed Rebecca was still checking from any notifications on Snapgram Jr. more restricted version of the social media site Snapgram that's made for kids, the app connects to a child's parents' account that gives parents a gist of what their children are up to on the children's version of the app.

While it doesn't give out every detail about their child's activities, it does warn parents about anything suspicious such as content f a post the child made that could potentially be exposing personal info or anything disturbing in their messages. 

"Hey, honey, how's everything going?" asked Steven. "Not good, I've sent a message to Alice but...she's not answering...I don't understand, what did I do wrong?" asked Rebecca. 

"Hey, hey, hey, I don't think you did anything wrong, you've been just as good a friend to her as she's been to you" said Steven "when was the last time you saw her?" "At Summer Camp" said Rebecca.

"And, did you notice anything about her? Anything unusual?" asked Steven. "Well, things were okay at first but when she went to the bathroom one time...she started acting nervous and shy..." said Rebecca "and sometimes she got these cramps..."

"Ah...well, I'm no expert in the topic but I think it sounds like puberty for girls" said Steven. "Puberty? I remember mom talking to me about it sometime after my birthday but, Alice is only ten, isn't that supposed to happen when she's like eleven or twelve?" asked Rebecca.

"Well, some kids experience it sooner than others, some kids experience it later like I did. Now, keep in mind I'm no expert in this sort of field" said Steven. "So, is that what it's going to be like for me?" asked Rebecca.

"I'm not sure, every kid experiences it differently, or so I've heard. It might be easier for you, it might not be, who knows?" said Steven "but no matter what, you can always come to me or your mom, though I'd recommend going to your mother for most situations as she'd probably understand what you'll be going through more." 

"Well, even if it is puberty, it was a summer ago, surely she should have gotten used to it by now!" said Rebecca.

"I don't have any easy answers, sweetie, maybe there's something else going on at home she just doesn't want to talk about" Steven suggested "I'm sure she'll come around, but until then...would you like a hug?"

"Yeah..." said Rebecca as she hugged her father. "Just remember, if you need someone to talk to about anything, r you just need a shoulder to cry on, you've got me and mom, we'll always be here!" said Steven.

"Thanks, Dad" said Rebecca. "Would you like to be left alone for now?" "Yeah, I would." "Okay, need me to get you anything before I go? Snack, drink, anything like that?" asked Steven. "I'm fine for now" said Rebecca. 

"Okay, well, let me know if you change your mind" said Steven as he and Rebecca exchanged a thumbs up and he left the room. "So, how'd it go?" asked Connie. 

"She's still upset about Alice not showing up, though I don't exactly blame her for that" "Of course not. Anyway, I've tried calling Alice's mother and I think something may be going wrong at her home, her mother sounded like she was angry at her daughter about something, she was all like "SHE'S supposed to be MY girl!" and she said that she'd left with her father and then she rudely hung up on me! Something's going on with that house!"

"How do we explain that to Rebecca though? I mean, Alice is her friend" asked Steven. Just then Steven's phone buzzed "Damn it..." said Steven. "What?" asked Connie.

"I just got reminded I was supposed to visit Homeworld today" said Steven. "That's okay, go Steven, I think The Diamonds miss you" said Connie.

"I'd still rather deal with this situation than anything involving them...but they're family so, I do owe them that much" said Steven "alright, I'll be home before dinner, alright?" Steven made his way to the warp pad and warped to Homeworld. 

When he reached the palace, he noticed the first big change, representative democracy! "Wow, they're putting democracy into action. Good for them, I just hope they don't screw it up like we did on Earth" said Steven "last thing we need is liberal and conservative gems fighting for no real reason." 

She then noticed an aubergine pearl giving a tour of The Diamond Palace "As you can see, this was truly the centre of power of The Gem Empire throughout it's second era. When you walk through these storied halls it's easy to feel like you too have the power of a Diamond. Now, if you'll follow me to the gift shop!"

As the tour group followed the aubergine pearl, Spinel was there, standing at the thrones of The Diamonds, but that's when she noticed "STEVEN!" Spinel excitedly leapt towards Steven and gave him a big kiss.

"Gah! SPINEL! What's wrong with you!?" Steven answered out of annoyance. "Oh, you know, the usual!" Spinel nonchalantly answered. "So...how've you been since you..."

"Since I tried to kill you? Man, that was so embarrassing! I was just a wreck back then, but I'm better now! So, what're you doing here?" said Spinel.

"Oh, just thought I'd check up on you and The Diamonds, see how things are holding up" said Steven. "No kidding. You never call, you never write" said Spinel.

"I've been busy lately and the US postal service doesn't do outer space" said Steven. "I don't know what the US Postal Service is but it does not sound efficient" said Spinel "I was just on my way to see Yellow! Wanna come with?"

"Checking up on you and The Diamonds is the whole reason I'm here so, yeah" Steven answered. "Then let's go!" said Spinel as she grabbed Steven's arm and dashed off to Yellow Diamond's room.

Spinel took Steven to Yellow's room where Yellow Diamond was reassembling a shattered gem with a pair of small tongs. The newly reassembled gem reformed and screamed at the sight of Yellow Diamond.

"Hey, it's okay" said another reassembled gem who was right next to her. "Hey, Yellow, what're you up to?" asked Steven. Yellow was startled by Steven "Oh! Steven! You startled me! I was just reversing one of my awful experiments!"

"Well it looks like you're doing a terrific job, Yellow! I'm impressed!" Steven complimented. "Truth be told, I can't always find every piece but watch this!" Yellow used her crackling electrical energy on the gem, miraculously healing its still deformed form.

"No way, you've got healing powers too!?" said Steven. "Hey!" said the healed gem happily. "Welcome back" said her friend as the two embraced each other and excitedly ran out the room.

"But weren't those gems, you know, broken?" asked Steven. "Well, yes, but gem shards contain a residual trace of data, which was the basis of my horrible experiments" said Yellow "if the broken gemstone were to be reassembled, and with a strong enough bonding agent, the data can be realigned and the gem can go back to normal! I figured it'd be only right to use my powers for reconstructive work on the gems I've harmed."

"Oh! That reminds me!" Yellow suddenly remembered "I've got to work on reconstructing the gems inside the cluster! Oh! And remember to send any of your uncorrupted quartz friends to me if they want to have their horns reduced. I can permanently alter their physical forms now!"

"Oh yeah, I remember, if you powers could work on full humans, Hollywood celebrities would be knocking down your door!" said Steven "say...um, I'm really impressed by what I've seen and you've got good ideas, so, have you reconstructed you know, her victims?" 

"You mean, Red? Unfortunately no, the shards of her victims have been drained of all residual data somehow, there were a few here and there that had a hint of data, but without all the data, I'm afraid those poor gems are never coming back." 

"Gone forever...those poor gems..." said Steven. "I know it's hard, but Red's gone, I made sure of it, don't you worry" said Yellow "not other gem will meet the fate of the fallen!" 

"So, Steven, wanna check up on Blue next?" asked Spinel. "Okay, yeah! Great seeing you, Yellow! Keep up the good work!" said Steven. Spinel than grabbed Steven's arm and dashed off again "Blue, blue, blue, blue, bluuuuuue!"

When Steven and Spinel entered Blue's room, Steven was surprised by what he had seen, blue clouds everywhere with happy looking gems on top of them, Blue was catching some TV broadcast waves that gem satellites have syphoned from Earth transmission signals.

"That's not smoke, it's steam! Steam from the steam clams we are having, mmmmm! Steamed clams!" a man on the TV said as Blue laughed. "Uh, Hi Blue!" said Steven. "Steven! Oh how wonderful it is to see you!" said Blue excitedly.

"Wow, you seem like you're in a good mood!" said Steven. "That's because of her cool new power!" said Spinel.

"Before you came into my life, Steven, I wanted everyone to feel the pain I felt" said Blue "I realized I must make up for my awful behaviour by bringing joy to others!" "And how did you do that?" asked Steven.

"In that moment, my tears vaporized into clouds, bringing pure joy to anyone who touches them!" Blue explained. Steven decided to try sitting on a cloud and...it worked! Just as Blue described, he felt uncontrollably giddy!

"Wow! If this is what your tears turning to vapour does, I don't want to know what will happen if they froze solid!" Steven joked. Blue and Spinel laughed along with Steven. "I don't want to find out either!" said Blue. 

"Steven spent a few minutes in the happy clouds until he looked at his watch "Oh! Better check on White! Thanks for letting me relax on your clouds, Blue! Definitely a reason to visit again!"

"Bring Connie and The Kids when you do!" Blue waved goodbye. "Oh, Steven! You're gonna love White's new power!" said Spinel. "No pulling on my arm now! That last time almost dislocated it" warned Steven. 

When they entered White's sanctum, she was meditating. "Ah! Steven, what perfect timing! I've just come back from my charitable escapades! I've been travelling from planet to planet, lending my voice to the little gem!"

"White Diamond's powers work in reverse now!" said Spinel. "What does that mean?" asked Steven. "Why don't I show you, may I, Spinel?" asked White. Spinel had a burst of excitement "Yes please!"

Spinel got in front of White as White's gem began flashing different colours until White's colour changed familiar shades of Pink "Guess who!?" she said in Spinel's voice!

"Wh-what the fu-!?" Steven yelped. "Isn't it great!? Instead of taking control of others, she can channel our thoughts into her body, giving us control of her! Watch this!" said Spinel and White in unison. 

Spinel and White did a dance in unison. "Wow! That's amazing!" said Steven. White then stopped using her powers, regaining control "Oh ho! What fun! Thank you, Spinel! Steven, how about you?" 

"Alright, sure!" said Steven. White's gem flashed and suddenly, White was a lighter shade of Pink, and White was under his control "Amazing!" Steven and White said in unison "a lesser man would take advantage of this! Or someone who wanted revenge...boy that's a grim thought!"

Steven then used White Diamond to stomp around "Tonight on Bridezillas, we have an actual Bridezilla! Head for the hills!" After that he caught with White for a little and made way for home.

"It was great seeing you, Steven, you should pop by more often!" said Spinel. "Maybe I will, after all, it's not like I'll be having more major enemies!" said Steven