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Jack and Ennis have these moments, where you can only see their public affection if you squint; where Jack might smile at him a little wider, or Ennis might stare a little longer after Jack says something. Sometimes Jack lets his touches linger and when they hug, as any two frienda would, Jack with tenderly place a hand to Ennis' neck and smile, while ennis pulls him in tighter and inhales his scent a bit, trying to commit each and everything to memory.
What you'll never see is the way Ennis steals glances at Jack, or the way he thinks about Jack. Things Jack himself hardly ever gets to see.
Theres one sure thing that Jack will always be grateful for.
Drunk, high, or sober Ennis is sweet, and vulnerable in the afterglow of their lovemaking.
he runs his hand over Jacks arm, looking longingly into his eyes, he looks thoughtful. Jack wonders what he's thinking about, so he asks. "Wanna stay here forever. with you." Ennis told him but looked down to studying his silky pale skin. "Just wanna be like this with you til I die." Jack furrowed.
"You thinkin bout dyin Ennis?" Jack asked him softly, but his concern was not lost.
"I dunno. only feel alive half the time, When you and me's together." Jack refrained from taking a dig at him. "You know, times like this is my favorite."
"Thought fuckin was your favorite," Jack joked.
"Second." Ennis correct. "After fuckin times is my third." Jack blinked.
"Whats your number one?"
"All of em together," he looked up and into Jack's eyes. "Like doin that too."
"Doin what?"
"Lookin you in the eye. dont like that with nobody else." Jack nodded. "Nice blue eyes," Ennis muttered more to himself.
"You got nice brown eyes," Ennis grunted to acknowledge him. "but goin to before, why you got death on your mind? you intendin on doin ssomethin?" Ennis sighed.
"aint sure yet"
Jack froze up a bit before raising a hand to rest on Ennis' cheek. "You listen to me good, ennis." he waited but Ennis didnt look up; he trusted he was listening. "You think bout dyin like that, anytime, any day you call me. call me - okay? you better fucking phone me and tell me so i can help you and if youndont il fucking kill my damn self just to kick your ass - do you fuckin hear me?" Ennis didnt respond. "Do you fuckin hear me?" he slipped his hand under ennis' chin to force him to look at him, his eyes lightly glossy.
"yeah,"
"what are you gon do you start thinking like that?" Ennis looked off.
"Call you."
"That's right. even if its three in the goddamn morning, i dont care." they sat silently for a few minutes.
"dont you need your beauty sleep." Jack smiled.
"aint gon be beautiful when i have a fuckin conniption cause you aint call." Jack took his hand back.
"Think thats gon happen no matter what i do." Jack tried not to laugh at that. Jack snuggled up to him, Ennis accepted it, Jack rested his chin on Ennis' shoulder, close to his ear.
"You gon call... right?" Ennis sighed deeply.
"Yeah, sugar. ill call,"