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The first time it happens, Klavier takes great pleasure in needling his little Forehead about the incident. They walk into a burger joint at half past six and take a seat at a booth. It's in the middle of a heated game of footsie that their waiter comes over, menu in hand. He hands Klavier a menu and as he unfolds it, he hears the words “We're out of crayons, is that all right?”
He must have misheard, because someone was asking him if he minded that he would be partaking in this dining experience without crayons. Putting the menu down, Klavier looks up to answer when he sees that Apollo has been handed a kiddy menu. He's red in the face and looks like he's torn between punching the waitstaff and throwing the menu into his face. Salvaging the situation before his temper hits the shores of reality, Klavier grabs Apollo's hand and says to their water—Jim—that they'll be just fine and thanks for asking.
Before he can say a word, Klavier slides into the booth next to Apollo and puts an arm around his shoulder, offering to share his menu and whispering into his ear what he would like on special order for dessert.
---
He's positive that Phoenix Wright has an agenda against him. The minute it became apparent that he had romantic intentions towards his employee-cum-adoptive son, the man had been actively creating more and more hoops of burning fire for Klavier to jump through. Today's obstacle: obtain vanilla wafers. The sudden craving had hit soon after he walked in on them at the Agency office, with Apollo pulling him in for a kiss by the lapels.
Crossing his arms, he stares at the selection of sweets on the shelves and tries to remember which ones were Wright's least favorite. He's choosing between peppermint patties and Jolly Ranchers when he hears Apollo refusing help from a store employee with a polite “I'm fine! Thanks for asking.” He turns to look at him. As soon as the employee walks away, he starts reaching for an elusive item on the top shelf.
“Can I help you with that?” he asks, bending to smile at him. Apollo makes a face that says “Get lost” and leans up on his toes again. Sighing, Klavier reaches up and helpfully grabs the desired tin of wafers.
He doesn't look nearly as pleased with himself as Klavier does, but that's all right too, because the sooner they get out of this store, the sooner they can be done with Apollo's father's ridiculous requests and go home. They turn to head towards checkout when the same employee sees Apollo and says “Oh, how nice of your big brother to come help you with that!” loud enough that Klavier is sure that back at the agency, Phoenix Wright had heard and was now rolling around on the floor in laughter.
They share a look at the obvious implications of the worker and grimace, before Klavier gives a pained smile. “You could say that,” he says, before Apollo is tugging on his hand to go to the checkout lines.
He will now forever consider Phoenix Wright indebted to him for one account of public embarrassment.
---
Once is an accident, twice is coincidence, but thrice, that is just a pattern.
It's in a video rental store on Wilshire that Klavier suddenly has the brilliant idea to dive into the world of pornography. He suggests the idea to Apollo, who gives him a look.
“That stuff is all over the Internet,” he says, staring very hard at the selection of D-rated horror flicks on the shelf.
“Yes, but it's much more exciting to go through the dusty red curtain and pay for the video ourselves.” He lowers his voice to a volume he finds is usually very persuasive and presses his hand over Apollo's, putting Zombie Schoolhouse back on the shelf before pulling him towards the adult video section.
He pulls back the curtain and they get inside without incident. It's not long before Apollo's making faces while reading the descriptions for some videos starring Japanese schoolgirls and old men with Yellow Fever. He passes it to Klavier, who shelves it with a perfunctory flick of the wrist. Smiling, he tells Apollo that he can think of a few other people who he'd rather see in a school uniform. His pulse jumps when Apollo's mouth turns up in a challenging sort of grin. He asks “And who would that be?”
He's about to let Apollo convince him to put the videos down and go back home when there's a sudden “Oi, kid, what are you doing in here?”
They look up and sees that they're being addressed. Frowning, Klavier answers with a short “What else would someone be doing in here?”
“Not you,” says the clerk, exasperated, “the shorty with the antenna.”
Apollo frowns then too, clearly affronted. It's then that the situation sinks in and Klavier doesn't know whether to laugh or cry so he does neither.
“You can't be in here unless you're eighteen or older, come back in a couple of years, kid.” He pulls open the curtain and holds out a hand for the videos.
Looking rather exasperated himself, Apollo doesn't argue before marching out of the rental store altogether. Klavier knows come tomorrow Apollo will laugh about it along with him, so he doesn't press the subject as he hands him his helmet.
---
By the fourth time it happens, Klavier is resigned to the fact that until they are both 35 and beginning to grey, they will never be able to go into public without some bizarre reminder that Apollo does not look a day past some decidedly underage number of years; the lowest estimate had been 16 and Apollo looked like he was going to have a coronary.
He'd asked him once “How long have you been, 22?” and gotten a punch to the arm for his efforts. The whole affair was inordinately amusing and Klavier had rolled around on the ground for a good five minutes until Apollo shut the bathroom door and sang loudly along to some bubblegum pop top chart tune in the shower.
Needless to say, his amusement hardly carries over to present day, where they are standing outside a local mall. It's during a particularly involved investigation that Apollo decides to demonstrate his flair for the dramatics by going undercover. Or, well... “undercover”, seeing as all he did was don a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt with a garish red baseball cap. They're supposed to be questioning several family members of the witnesses when a sheriff walks by and asks Apollo what he's doing out playing hooky.
Klavier feels like smacking his forehead in exasperation, because really now. He's about to explain when Apollo scuffs his foot and looks up at the officer. “It was a half day at school today, officer, and I had some business to settle here.” He absolutely has no right to look like—like an actual high schooler! Klavier feels the blood drain from his face, and definitely not down south. Definitely not. Rubbing his temples, he hopes that he can will his migraine to go away.
Later that night he asks Apollo when he wants his Oscar Nomination for “Most Convincing Minor Role” and instead of scowling like he had expected him to, Apollo lets a smirk of sorts appear on his face as he asks him if he would like to know.
Klavier asks for a repeat performance.
---
Sometime later Klavier is roped into going to a park with the Wright Siblings—not that he would call Apollo that to his face, but it is simpler than...whatever else he could call them. He agrees to go with Trucy to the sandbox despite Apollo's best attempts at deterring her otherwise, and Klavier laughs when she tells him not to be jealous. They build a rather impressive sand civilization, something he never got to do as a child, and he's glad that he gets to be doing it in present company.
Soon their masterpiece draws a crowd of children, who Trucy entertains far better than he is equipped to. He tips his hat—originally Trucy's, which had made its way to his own head over the course of their construction—at her and looks back to see Apollo sitting on the swings, watching them with a fond expression.
Klavier walks over and stands in his space, putting hands over his on the swings.
“Enjoying yourself?” he asks, and Klavier nods.
“Your sister is wonderful,” he says, waving once at Trucy.
Apollo raises a brow. “Oh yeah? Sure you've got the right sibling here?”
Klavier doesn't respond to his teasing, placing the top hat on Apollo's head instead; he's certain it suits him much better than it does himself. “She is lucky to have an elder brother like you.”
“Nice save there, Prosecutor Gav—” And then Klavier is kissing him hard on the mouth, licking inside his mouth. Apollo's fingers tighten over his own and he sighs happily.
A particularly nosy mother passes by then and makes a rude comment about “perverts who can't keep their hands off of children.” It makes Apollo snort as he looks up at Klavier, whose brow is furrowed in a full-blown scowl. Suddenly, he starts laughing, and Klavier begins to contemplate the forces of karmic retribution.
“Not so funny now, huh?” Apollo says, looking much too smug for his own good. Klavier pulls down the brim of the hat over Apollo's eyes and rolls his own.
“You are never wearing anything other than a suit with at least a waistcoat,” he mutters, unable to muster a convincing frown in the face of Apollo's own high spirits.
“I could avoid shaving.”
“Please do not become your father.”
“Not my dad.”
They bicker about it some more before Trucy walks over and makes the grand and disarmingly persuasive suggestion that they go out for burgers. He agrees to buy her at least three milkshakes, ignoring Apollo's protests.
This time, the restaurant has crayons.
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