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The ringing of the phone startled both Yor and Loid who had just finished a nice steak dinner on their hotel room’s balcony and were just tidying up so they could go on an evening stroll to appreciate Obda’s architecture.
Yor gave her husband (she knew she ought to not get excited by referring to him as her husband since they were legally married two years ago, but just three days ago, on the eve of their first courthouse marriage anniversary, they wed in front of family and friends for real , so yeah, she was going to be excited by it.) a quizzical look, because she was sure they hadn’t called for any assistance or wake-up calls. Loid shrugged.
“It could be Yuri. You left him the hotel’s number in case he needed to reach us for emergencies.” Loid suggested. Now his stomach, already easily upset, began twisting. If he had a talent for many things, chief among them would be his ability to assume the worst very calmly. He let none of his worries show on his face as he moved to pick up.
“Oh, my. Do you think–” Yor began.
Loid gave a bit of a weak smile to reassure her. “Hello?” he said into the receiver.
The first thing he heard was sniffling, a very common sound to his ears since their daughter liked to cry as any child her age was prone to. A steely look took over his face, which Yor watched raptly.
“What is it? Is it WISE? The Garden?” Yor’s knees grew weak. “Anya–”
“Anya, is that you? Are you in danger?” Loid said. “Tell me where you are.”
“P-P-Papa,” Anya sobbed into the phone. “Unkie Yuri is SO mean to me!! When are you coming back to get me?”
Apropos of the aforementioned easily upset stomach, Loid’s gut felt like it was full of angry bees. “Jeez, Anya. How could you scare me like that?” Loid, in his overbearing father's manner, inhaled noisily through his nose to calm himself down. He listened to Anya whimper some more, and when his nervousness ebbed, he embodied his therapist persona. He gave Yor a smile to let her know things were okay. Not okay, since his daughter was evidently miserable, but at least she wasn’t in danger. Across the bed, Yor visibly blew out a breath of relief through puffed-out cheeks. “We need to practice phone etiquette when we get home, okay? You can’t make us worry like that, especially when we’re very far from where you are, okay?”
“Okay papa, I’m sorry. Please come home now. I don’t want to live with Unkie anymore,” Anya said over the line, clearly still inconsolable.
“Well, Yor and I are all the way in Obda so we can’t just come home. Why don’t you tell me what your uncle did to make you upset?” Loid’s tone was soothing, but he knew that if Anya decided she would be sad, he just had to talk her down from the height she worked herself up to.
“He made me sit on the dinner table because he made carrots in the oven and he said I couldn’t get up unless I eat them, but I already had a vegetable yesterday and you know, papa, that mama lets me not eat my carrots when I have veggies before, so unkie is being mean when he doesn’t have to be, and I hate it here, I want to go to our home, even if y-you and mama are not there.” Her voice broke at the end of her sentence, and Loid could hear that she began crying in earnest again. He began to call out to her repeatedly, but she seemed to just want to cry at the moment, which was okay, so she could release her emotions. Loid had a moment to think that if Yuri upset his daughter this much, he deserved the heinous phone bill this lengthy long-distance phone call was probably costing him.
“Anya, come on, calm down. I can’t help you if we don’t talk, okay?” Loid stated calmly. His back was beginning to cramp up from bending over the receiver in their nightstand, so he sat on the edge of the bed. Yor joined him quickly, putting his hand in hers.
“What’s going on?” she whispered.
“Anya said Yuri’s being mean because he wouldn’t let her get up until she ate all of her carrots,” Loid caught his wife up to the news efficiently.
“Is he there? I’ll talk to him,” Yor huffed. She didn’t like it when Yuri made Anya cry. He didn’t do it much anymore, but since the two of them were spending more time together, there was more opportunity for them to clash violently.
Loid shrugged. “Anya, is Yuri there with you? Can we talk to him?”
Anya sniffled. “He’s beside me, so he knows I’m telling on him right now. He said I could because he’s got nothing to hide.” Loid could hear Anya shove the phone toward her uncle. “Papa says he wants to talk to you, and he’s using his voice which means you’re in trouble.” Smugness bled onto Anya’s tone.
“I didn’t do anything,” was the first thing Yuri barked into the phone. “You guys said I have to feed her healthy food while she’s here, and that’s what I did! She’s just mad because I didn’t let her watch that spy propaganda anime of hers.”
Loid rolled his eyes. He was comfortable doing so in front of his wife because he didn’t have to pretend to like her brother all the time now. He handed the phone to Yor, who had her ear pressed up on the back of the phone so she could listen in. She took the phone, fully intent to scold her brother.
“Yuri, we talked about this. You need to get along with Anya so that she has fun while we’re gone. She already doesn’t get to come with us, so she’s already very depressed. Can’t you try to make her feel better?” Yor, when she wanted to be, was very effective at getting the point across. And as a sister with a PhD in Yuri-isms, she knew just what to say to make him bend to her will. “Don’t you want me to have a nice honeymoon? I don’t go on vacation much, you know. I’d hate to spend this precious time I have worrying about my daughter being bullied by my brother who should know better because he is a fully-grown adult and she is literally a child.”
Loid chuckled at the almost condescending way Yor talked to her brother. What a delight his wife was. He gave her shoulder a chaste, appreciative kiss.
“C’mon, sis, you know it’s not like that! I’m trying really hard but I don’t know what to do when she doesn’t listen to me. But I will try to be nicer, sis, for you.” Even over the line, Yor could hear the gears of Yuri’s mind creaking into place. “Is Lottie being nice to you? Cough if he’s beside you and you can’t tell me anything incriminating. I’ll take the next train out to come to rescue you–”
Yor had to nip the thought in the bud before Yuri could start looking for his travel documents. “I’m great, Yuri. Loid and I are having a lot of fun here. We’ve been to the beach, the opera, a spa, and an art installation. He even brought me to that restaurant you said you liked.”
“I’ll hold you to your word, but call me as soon as he does something funny. Oh, hold on, sis.” From the speaker, Yor heard him address her daughter. “Blow your nose. You’re going to drip on my sofa.” Anya obediently blew her nose. Yor could hear them talking quietly before Anya took the phone again.
“Mama, Unkie was nice to me yesterday when I was crying because I thought there was a monster in his bathroom but then he also got mad at me after and we fought. He’s very mean so I don’t think you should buy him any souvie-neers when you come home.” Anya was clearly feeling better already, so Yor wasn’t too worried about yesterday’s argument.
“Why was he mean, sweetie? I’ll give him a very stern talking-to when we get home, okay?”
Yor could hear Yuri take the phone again. “I only got mad because Chihuahua Girl spread baby oil and talcum powder all over the shower floor so she could ‘ice skate’ on it. So I feel like that was a very warranted reaction. She could have cracked her head open on the tile, and it was a nightmare to clean up!”
Loid had to stifle his laughter against Yor’s shoulder. The mental image of Yuri wiping up oil and powder so it wouldn’t clog his plumbing was a very nice thought. Any inconvenience to Yuri felt like divine compensation for the many inconveniences he’s given the Forgers over the years.
Yor was grinning when she shoved her husband playfully. “Okay, Yuri but you have to tell her nicely like we talked about. You can’t fight with her anymore, okay? Keep it dignified because you’re an adult and she’s a child.”
“Right, sis. Sorry ‘bout that. And you can tell Loi-loi to stop snickering because that’s also not very dignified to do as an adult. Hmph. Anyway, we need to hang up now, sis. The landline bill will bankrupt me–”
“MAMA!! PAPA!! I LOVE YOU!! BRING ME TOYS WHEN YOU COME HOME!!” Anya cut in.
“We love you, Anya, and we’ll be home soon! Yuri, you guys take care, okay? Call us when–”
“No, don’t encourage him to call again,” Loid whispered.
“--When there’s a very bad emergency. No more tattle-tailing over long-distance, okay? Love you! See you soon!” Before Yuri could say anything else, and he would have, Yor slammed the phone back on its stand.
Yor sighed as soon as her world was quiet again. “Oh, Loid, I’m not used to being away from Anya like this. I didn’t like hearing her cry over the phone. Do you think we should cut the trip short and go somewhere she can come with us?”
Loid hummed, his thoughtful face on. “We deserve this honeymoon. I think we need to trust Yuri to take care of Anya for just a little while, and for Anya to learn some independence from us. Them spending time together can be good for all of us.”
Yor smiled, bumping her shoulder with Loid’s side. “You just like having me all to yourself.”
Loid’s grin was wide as he turned to cage Yor down onto the mattress. “That doesn’t hurt, too.” When Yor giggled, he pressed his open mouth to the pulse in her neck and sucked. As his hand snuck under her sweater, Yor let out a breathless moan.
Then, the phone rang again.
“Oh for the love of God.” Flustered, Loid scrambled off his wife and picked up the receiver again. “What? For God’s sake, what is it this time?”
“Mister Forger? I apologize for the intrusion, but I have clothing from Herould’s you ordered for your wife. Shall I have it sent up?” It was the front desk, which made Loid instantly embarrassed.
“Ah, yes. Sorry about that. Please send it up.” He apologized again before hanging up. He would be sure to give a big tip.
Yor was in stitches on the bed. “Don’t worry, darling, we can stay in tonight since you clearly want some alone time with me right now.”
Loid rubbed at his nape. Yuri’s interruptions had a lingering effect on Loid’s nerves. He left to tip the delivery man and hurried back inside so he could enjoy the reason he booked their honeymoon all this way away from everyone they knew.