Chapter Text
After years of explosions, burns, bruises, and cuts from failed and successful experiments alike, he had never expected a carelessly dropped candle to be an issue. Of course, he had always been careful. He wore goggles and gloves and mixed volatile elements in small amounts. It didn’t always protect him but he was alive, wasn’t he? He thought of his father and felt a lump in his throat. He quickly dismissed his past safety accomplishments and resigned himself to a selfish idiot. Not safe enough, He thought. He was never safe enough. A stupid kid messing with things he couldn’t possibly understand.
Recently, Varian had found himself much more focused. He used to be easily distracted. He would let his thoughts wander to new ideas. He could work on multiple projects at a time and abandon them at the drop of a hat. Now it seemed easier to keep on task and think of one thing: The key to the Queen and King’s memories. It was in his fever of studying a medical textbook on the structure of the frontal cortex, that the candle fell over. He hadn’t noticed until the heat radiated to the right of his face. It was burning through a pile of papers and catching the table leg. The crackles of embers bloomed into a violent orange. A string of swears spilled from his mouth like vomit as he paced back and forth for a bucket. He had just barely collected enough supplies to begin writing down his research. A pen and ink, a piece of chalk, scrolls of paper, a box of candles, and any books he could carry back from the library. He didn’t have a chair or a lantern, and certainly not a bucket. The blessing was that Varian was in a chamber far removed from the rest of the castle. The fire spread from the caught leg to the table top, before burning through a wooden support beam. The sight of the growing flames stopped him feet away. The heat stung. The smoke invaded his eyes and the orange blended together. It looked familiar and his thoughts faded into one statement. It's all your fault. Your fault. Your fault.
Eugene was often told he was lucky. Always in the right place at the right time, but in truth his timing was coincidental. It was neutral, not lucky or unlucky, but just was. Things just happened around him. It was fate again when he chose to mosey down to the Demantis Chamber that evening. He was not keen to check on Varian, but Hairstripe had not appeared for dinner. He hadn’t appeared for lunch either, or breakfast. Eugene assured himself he wasn’t here out of worry. No, he just didn’t trust Varian with extra time in his hands. The smell of smoke reached his nostrils first, just before the entrance to the chamber stairwell.
Varian was stuck between nightmares. The first nightmare spurred from his current reality, the fire. He was certain the princess would leave him to the dungeons again. The memories of his cold, dark cell invaded his mind. The piece of chalk was still gripped in his hand and he thought of his daily task of scratching tallies into the brick wall. He thought of the day he gave up because without a window there was no way to be sure how much time had passed. For a moment, he had never left the dungeon, but he became aware it wasn’t cold enough to be in prison beneath the earth. It was too warm and he blinked towards the flames growing closer. It wasn’t just warm, it was sweltering. Haze formed in his periphery, but he was in a waking paralysis and stayed gazing into the orange hues. The hues turned to amber. His second nightmare was returning to his father’s resin tomb. Varian was crying again, after the blizzard, after his betrayal. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. The flames leapt to his working research and medical textbook atop the table. Varian would have been fighting the flames and reaching for his work if he had been there, but he was only there physically, stuck disassociating in the heat.
Eugene had swung the door open to “Varian's Study” and sprinted down the stairs when he recognized the smell of smoke. The gray fog engulfed the chamber floor. He could see a roaring orange in the furthest corner of the room. A tall wooden beam was engulfed along with Varian’s table and supplies. The boy in question stood slightly hunched, staring forward blankly.
“Kid!” Eugene yelled, but there was no response. Not even the slightest movement. Eugene scaled across the floor to Varian’s side and grasped his shoulder roughly. He shook him. No response. “Varian! We need to get out of here.” That should’ve been obvious to him, but Varian stood firmly planted to the ground. Eugene was sweating, the heat was overwhelming. He moved to pull Varian towards the door and felt resistance. “What-“ he heard wood crack loudly from above and feared the wood beam would fall to crush them. Varian made no reaction to the sound, just stared forward.
Varian wore an expression Eugene was familiar with. Back in a remote village of the Galcreast kingdom. He had been arrested as a teenager for stealing a vase from some snobbish aristocrat and sent to a reformatory. The prison prided itself on reforming inmates through hard labor. He worked on smithing nails for construction. It was monotonous work and sometimes he awoke to motioning the process in his sleep. It was the men that had been there for years with no chance of freedom that frightened him. That dead, resigned look they wore after years of unrewarding tasks and haunting memories. He escaped, but would occasionally awake, in a cold sweat, with thoughts of that place and too nervous to look in the mirror.
That look took him back. He moved his hands from the teen for just a moment before tightly grabbing Varian again and lifting him from the spot. He awkwardly half carried, half dragged him to the base of the stairs. He saw tears in Varian’s eyes and the wet tracks scored across his cheeks. Eugene took a deep breath and the smoke filled his lungs. He choked and coughed. Varian finally moved when he too began coughing out the smoke. Eugene attempted to gather himself by lifting his shirt collar over his mouth.
“Sorry.” The soft apology between coughs rose above all other noise.
“Save it. Let’s get out of here first.” His tone was harsh and Eugene knew it was, but he had little time to examine that now. He grasped Varian’s thin arm and dragged him up the stairs pulling the kid's boney bicep above his shoulder. This time there was no resistance, Varian clambered up the stairs behind him.
They reached the top and Eugene slammed the door shut after them. He looked around the hallway. There really wasn’t anything nearby. After the long windowless hall were the stables for guests. Then unoccupied chambers and guard quarters. He looked down at Varian standing just in front of the door silent.
“Go to our room. I’ll take care of this.” Normally, Eugene was a preacher of cleaning up your own messes, but it was clear Varian was in a state of shock.
“Suffocate,” Varian said without looking up.
“What?” Eugene pinched the bridge of his nose.
“We gotta suffocate the fire of oxygen. If we put something under the door it will help.” Varian looked around. Eugene moved to grab his shoulders and Varian flinched away. He took to hovering his hands just in front of him.
“Ok. Ok. I got it Kid. Now go.” Varian didn’t make a move to leave. “Go, Varian. It’ll be fine.” This time something clicked and Varian nodded before walking away.
When Varian turned just out of sight, Eugene took a tablecloth off a nearby console table and stuffed it under the door. He could then weigh his options. There was little in the chamber that could catch on fire. It was mostly made of stone. He could ignore the blaze and hope it would lose steam or alert the guards to bring buckets of water. He chose the latter and ran to the guard quarters for assistance.
He understood this choice was not without consequences. With the attention of the guard and the formed bucket brigade fighting the blaze, the entire castle was quickly alerted of the matter. Soon Rapunzel would be pulled away from her piling duties to address the issue. The fire was quickly put out, only taking the group three trips from the well to snuff the fire out to quiet embers. Eugene felt tired from the fiasco and leaned against a wall, when Rapunzel rounded the corner towards the chamber. She bypassed the many guards to address Eugene directly.
“Eugene, is everything okay? Where’s Varian? Is he hurt?” Even with the concern wafting from the princess, Eugene was comforted by her presence.
“Slow down Blondie. Everything’s alright. Varian’s fine. He had another one of his classic accidents.” He smirked and looked towards the door. “It was just a small fire.” Eugene waved his hand down as if he was wiping the incident from history. Rapunzel sighed.
“I’m glad he’s alright. Where is he?”
“In his room. He was a bit shaken up.” At this statement, Rapunzel’s concern was apparent again. Eugene could tell in how her brow shifted.
“He’s fine. Promise. I was on my way to go see him now.” Eugene leaned up from the wall to take his leave.
“Okay, but tell me if he needs anything.”
“Maybe a lantern? This whole thing happened because he was using candles.”
“Got it.” Rapunzel turned around and began walking back.
“Oh! Actually, Blondie?” Rapunzel looked back. “Maybe, we should talk about him later.” She softly smiled.
“That sounds like a good idea.”
——
Eugene pushed the door to their room open with his foot, while balancing a plate, glass, and pitcher in his arms. He wasn’t surprised the door was left slightly open. With the fog Varian was in, he would be more surprised if the kid had made it to the room at all. Their bedroom was dark. The sun had just set and minimal light streamed through the window. As Eugene’s eyes adjusted to the darkness, he took in the two beds on opposite walls, the mirror, dresser, and desk. In the chair was a slouched figure, their head was face down in their hands.
“Kid?” They shifted and lifted their head. Eugene set his items on the dresser and turned the crank on a nearby lantern that ignited a soft glow in the room. It was in fact Varian sitting in the chair.
Eugene was aware that he didn’t know Varian well. Before, well everything, he had only been around Hairstripe the day the water boilers exploded in Old Corona. That day Eugene decided on the best word to describe Varian, obnoxious. He was loud, talkative, and energetic. All and all, obnoxious.
Looking at Varian now he wondered if that child had been replaced or even possessed. Maybe Varian had some evil identical twin. The soft orange light reflected in his blue eyes as he stared up at Eugene.
“What was all that about?” Eugene said, nodding towards the door. He let out a nervous chuckle for levity. Varian remained silent. “Welp!” Eugene clapped and Varian jumped slightly before fidgeting with a piece of loose thread on his pants. “The good news is Rapunzel is getting you a lantern.”
“Rapunzel knows?” Varian snapped his attention to Eugene, but his expression was difficult to read.
“Yeah, kiddo. Of course she knows.”
“Right... Yeah, that was stupid. Sorry.” There was a moment of awkward silence. “And I’m not going back down there?”
“To the Demantis chamber? Yeah, you can go back in a bit, but we need to clean it up first.” Eugene chuckled.
“No-“ Varian took a sharp inhale. “To the dungeon?”
“What? To the dungeon?” Eugene crouched down before Varian. “Varian, that was an accident. We aren’t going to put you in-“
“My whole life is an accident.” His voice was so quiet, Eugene almost missed it.
“Kid…” Varian stood up from the chair and took a step forward. Eugene stood and cut him off at the door. “Where do you think you’re going?” Varian raised a brow.
“The library? I lost all my research in that fire and I need to get the cure.” Eugene didn’t move from the door.
“Is that what you think you're doing?” He sighed. “When did you last eat?” He was met with silence. “Sleep?”
“I’m not hungry and I’m not tired either.”
“Okay, but when?”
“Ruddiger brought me an apple this morning.”
“Okay, when did you last sleep?” Varian opened his mouth to respond, before Eugene cut him off. “And I mean in a bed, Varian. Not on the floor. And not in the library.”
“I don’t know.” Eugene leaned back smugly, as if winning a battle. “But it doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter. I am not sending you to the dungeons, but you are on lock down until tomorrow morning.” Varian huffed. “Now, sit down. I brought you food and water.”
“But I’m not hungry.” Eugene was strangely glad to hear Varian complain. It was familiar. He placed the plate in front of Varian. Bread and cheese. It was all the kitchen had available this late . He poured water into the glass and set it next to him. “Thanks.” Varian downed the glass quickly and Eugene moved the pitcher closer.
“Don’t mention it.” Varian refilled his glass and drank more water. He glanced at the food and held the glass between his hands. “Please Varian. You need to have more than an apple a day. It doesn’t keep doctors away like they say it does.” Varian gave a slight smile and hummed a pitted laugh. He picked up the bread and took a small bite. The small bite was followed by another and another. Soon half the small loaf was eaten and two pieces of cheese.
“Are you just gonna stand there?”
“How else am I gonna make sure you're eating?” Eugene was leaning against the door. He sighed and moved to sit on his bed. “So?” Varian cleared his throat.
“So what?”
“Why aren’t you hungry?” Varian took to tearing the remaining bread apart on the plate.
“I don’t know… It was like that in jail, you know? The guards thought I was fasting in protest or something. I started eating enough just to get them to leave me alone.”
“What about sleep? Do you just hate beds or something?” Varian laughed. It was a real chuckle. Light and airy. He rubbed the back of his neck in composure.
“Yeah, something like that.” Eugene wanted to press the answer further, but Varian didn’t seem interested.
“Well, you’re stuck here till morning, so I suggest you learn to like it.” Varian went silent again staring out at the inky night sky. He stood and walked to his bed to sit. The silence was becoming uncomfortable. Eugene could leave, but didn’t trust Varian to stay put. He took to lying on his bed opposite of Varian’s, his arms crossed behind his head. Eugene glanced at the mirror and thought of Varian’s vacant expression during the fire. He probably wouldn’t sleep either, too afraid of that image spreading to his dreams. “What were you thinking during the fire?” Varian, who had his head bowed towards the floor, hands clasped over his knees, looked up. He hummed In question. “The fire? Before, you were just… standing there.”
“Nothing, really… Just spaced out.”
“You spaced out feet away from a fire?”
“Yeah, sorry about that.” Another pregnant pause. Eugene’s eyes were still fixed on the mirror. “Do you ever…”
“What?” Eugene glanced at Varian who was looking away. “Do I ever what?” He was so sick of trying to have a conversation with this kid. It would start and stop, start and stop, never with a fulfilling conclusion. Varian let out a long exhale.
“Do you ever fall through time?” Eugene would have never guessed those words were going to be said. Not even a psychic monkey would be able to predict Varian was going to ask that.
“I’m not sure how to respond.” Varian looked at him for a response anyway, eyes pleading for an answer. “What do you mean?”
“Sometimes... I mean I have these moments where…” Eugene wanted to scream for the kid to spit it out. “I am somewhere else. It’s always in the past and it’s always at the worst time. It's like I’m stuck in a moment and I can’t get out. I don’t even know how I got there.”
“Sure. Sometimes, I am somewhere that reminds me of-“
“No.” Varian seemed surprised at his own interjection. His face turned slightly red and he sunk into himself. He placed the last piece of torn bread aside and pulled his feet up on the chair. “Sorry. It’s just. It’s not like that. I don’t think I’m there. I know I’m there.”
“Is that what happened during the fire?” Varian nodded.
“You probably think I’m crazy.” Yes, Eugene did think that.
“No, I don’t.” He was surprised by how convincing he sounded. “So where were you?”
“I knew there was a fire. I remember seeing it, but then I was in prison and it was really hot. Which was weird because the dungeons are always cold. It must have been because of the fire, but there was no fire. I was in prison.” Varian was talking quickly now, almost hysterical. “Then I saw my-“ he cut himself off and looked at Eugene like he was eavesdropping.
“Saw what?”
“I don’t remember. Next thing I knew I was back here… outside the chamber.” Eugene and Varian were alerted by a soft scratching outside, the signature sound of Ruddiger prowling for attention. Varian stood and opened the door. The raccoon didn’t hesitate to climb into his arms, before the door was shut and Varian settled back down.
“There’s your cat. I wondered where he ran off to.” Eugene used every opportunity to provoke a snobbish correction from Varian. It used to work every time. Either the kid caught on or couldn’t bring himself to care.
“He hates that I’m spending all my time inside. Drives him mad.” Varian was scratching Ruddiger behind the ears, while he curled up in his lap. A faint purring filled the room.
“Look, Hairstripe.” Varian glanced over and Eugene sat up to elicit some seriousness. “I can’t pretend to understand what you mean, but when you fall back in time… or whatever you call it, it’s not real and it can’t hurt you. Just try to ignore it.” Varian did not respond, just looked back down at the sleepy raccoon. Eugene doubted what he said, but couldn’t think of anything else. He laid down on the mattress. “Try to get some sleep.” He heard Varian shift and moved to turn the lantern off, enveloping them in darkness