Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Help.”

The word was whispered, barely audible over the loud music playing in the background. Very loud music, considering how late at night his phone had rung. He was glad their shift had finished early in the morning that day and that he’d already managed to get a few hours’ sleep before this call had woken him.   

“Eddie?”

“Help me.”

“What’s wrong? Where are you?”

There was a hiccup, silence broken by some sort of modern jazz song, a keyboard melody playing happily at odds with the whispered plea. “Akbarr... There'ss thiss... guy. He... won't. Won't... leave me alone. Helppp!”

“Just tell him you’re not interested, Eddie.”

Another hiccup. “Did! But he's like, he's like... 'You're toooo pretty to lookshh... but sho shad.’ And I am, y'knowww? I’m sho shad, man.”

Eddie’s voice wobbled, sounding almost like he was about to start crying, then dropped to a quiet whisper.

“Please. H...elp me, mann. Mann, mann... I'm being... being hit on... at a b-bar. Pl...please, please be my... fake boyfriend, y'know? For... for a second, mann. Jussst a second, okay?”

Clearly, Eddie was very, very drunk.  

“I’m coming, I’ll be there soon, okay? Will you be alright until I get there?”

“Yeahhhh. Didjya... dijya hear that? My boyf... boyfriend'sh... comin' to... take me... me home. He'sh... comin', mann!”

“Drink a glass of water, okay? Maybe two. I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye bye, babyyy...” Eddie said sweetly, then giggled. He honest to God giggled. “I love youuu, I'll shee... shee you shoon. Come... come give me a big ole kishh... right on my liiiips. No, no, nooot youuu! Geroff me!”

The line went dead.

Bobby glanced at his hands free and considered calling Eddie back, but he sounded so drunk he wasn’t even sure the call would be answered. Better to concentrate on driving and get there as quickly as he could and save him from whatever he’d got himself into. Typing the name of the bar into his phone, Bobby was glad that years responding to call outs in the middle of the night had made him experienced with rolling out of bed, throwing clothes on and getting into a vehicle quickly. It sounded like he couldn’t get there soon enough.

It wasn’t like Eddie to drink so much he could barely speak. It also wasn’t like him to go to bars on his own, as far as Bobby knew. Maybe the pressure from his aunt to date had gotten to him, and he was trying something new instead of suffering through another date that she’d set up.

Why he wanted Bobby to pretend to be his boyfriend though, Bobby had no idea. He put the odd request from his mind, determined to simply haul his drunken firefighter out of whatever dive he was in and take him home to sober up.

The drive took longer than he’d liked, given how Eddie had sounded. Grateful that the bar wasn’t halfway across the city – though Silverlake was far enough for the time of night it was. Bobby found a park on Sunset Boulevard not too ridiculously far away from the address on his GPS, then walked down the block to the bar. It was in a plain, rectangular two-story brick building on a corner, the name of the bar running down a vertical sign brightly lit with vivid green capital letters high on one corner. It had been easy to find, at least.

The front of the building was plain, with only another, smaller sign above the door in the same luridly green glowing capitals - AKBAR. Bobby got inside easily enough considering his casual state of dress, absently approving of the up-to-code exit signs and clear paths to the fire doors. Inside, the bar had a nice ambience, a row of vertical, cylindrical lights hanging over the length of the bar sending golden light into the room. Athena would like that. Bobby thought he might take her there sometime for a change. Along one wall were tall carved archways reaching to the ceiling that made him think of medieval times for some reason.

At one end of the room was a small stage, a band playing the same sort of modern jazz he’d heard when Eddie had called, something else Athena would like. Working his way through groups of people, Bobby made his way towards the bar. The place was full but not crowded, and seemed genial enough, not like other bars that often got rowdy by this time of night.

“Eddie!” Bobby spotted his errant firefighter sitting with his back turned at the end of the bar farthest from the band and started making his way quickly to his side. As he’d feared, there was a guy sitting on the other side of Eddie. Even from across the room, Bobby could see the man was far too close, invading Eddie’s personal space and not looking at all worried about it.

He was almost there when the man put his hand on Eddie’s thigh. High on Eddie’s thigh. Too high. Bobby saw Eddie rear back, then grab his drink and throw it in the man’s face before lurching off the bar stool. Wavering on his feet, Eddie nonetheless raised his fists, holding his arms curled before himself in the classic boxer’s stance.

Shit. He’s about to start a fight!

“Eddie!” Bobby reached out from behind and clasped Eddie’s shoulder, pulling to turn him away from his target and towards himself instead.

Surprise, relief and desperation all flashed across Eddie’s face swiftly when he saw Bobby.

“Bobbbby! Wha... what're you... what're you doin' here?"

“You called me, remember?” Bobby threw a dark look at the guy who’d been hitting on Eddie – the guy who was still looking at him with interest, and even when Bobby glared at him, didn’t look away.

A slight grunt escaped Bobby’s mouth when Eddie abruptly launched into his arms, grabbing him around the waist and holding on fiercely. Automatically enfolding the younger man in his own arms, Bobby held him firmly, feeling the way he was swaying on his feet. He was indeed very, very drunk.

"Bobbbyyy,” Eddie hiccuped, a wave of something sweet wafting from his mouth directly into Bobby’s face. He schooled himself not to react, noting the empty cocktail glass on the bar behind Eddie, a jaunty little paper umbrella the only thing in it.

Meanwhile, Eddie’s face became very intent as he leaned into Bobby’s ear and whispered, “I... I need you... need you to show him... show him that... that you're my boyfriend, mann. Pleasseee. Help me! Helppp me!" Eddie slurred, lifting his head and stared imploring at Bobby, his eyes wide and more than a little glassy.

“Why—” Bobby started, then finally looked beyond and noticed what sort of bar they were in.

It was a gay bar.

They were in a gay bar and Eddie wanted him to pretend to be his boyfriend so he wouldn’t be hit on by the other guy. Oh god. I am too old for this.

“Why can’t we just leave?” Bobby asked very reasonably, or so he thought.

Eddie screwed up his face petulantly and stomped his foot – right onto Bobby’s. He seriously actually just stomped his foot right onto mine. Bobby bit back a curse, unable to pull away because of how close they were standing – still with their arms around each other, he realized.

While Bobby was thinking, Eddie slid his own arms out from Bobby’s waist, then twined them around the back of Bobby’s neck and pulled their faces close together so he could whisper into Bobby’s ear. As he did, he stepped even closer, and began swaying his hips back and forth, like they were dancing.

"No, nooo! I... I need him... him to... to leave me alone, mann. He's been... been hitting on me... every gamers night for like... like the last three months. I need him... I need him to stop, but he won't listen! But if he sees you... you kiss me, he'll finally... finally believe me... when I say... when I say I've got a boyfriend. Pleassse, Bobbbyyy! Just for a second!"

If you’d asked Bobby that day how he thought his night off was going to go, slow dancing with one of his drunk firefighters in a gay bar and being asked to kiss him would not have ever made the list.

He glanced over Eddie’s shoulder at the man who’d apparently been hitting on him for months – and the idea that Eddie had been coming to a gay bar for months and hadn’t told anyone was one that Bobby was going to have to think about later, then looked down into Eddie’s eyes. The music had changed to something loud and obnoxious, a repetitive beat that was giving him an instant headache. Eddie was looking up at him pleadingly, the smell of alcohol was aggravating, and Bobby just wanted to go home and back to bed.

“Fine,” he muttered, “but we don’t ever speak of this again, understand?”

“Yesh!” Eddie nodded at once, looking incredibly relieved. He tilted his face back and closed his eyes, his arms still around Bobby’s neck and shoulders, still swaying from side to side. Bobby kept his arms around Eddie, worried he might just fall right over if he let go, and pressed his lips down on Eddie’s mouth. He kept his mouth closed, not willing to go that far, instead planning on a quick, chaste peck to get the guy to back off. Not so different from kissing an elderly aunt on her cheek, he could do that.

Eddie had other ideas.

His hands threaded up through Bobby’s hair to clutch the sides of his face and he pulled Bobby in more, moving his lips over Bobby’s in a drunken approximation of a kiss. To Bobby’s horror, he felt Eddie’s lips begin to open and was about to pull away when—

“What the FUCK?”

They broke apart, both turning to the new voice simultaneously to see – Buck.

Buck, standing a few feet away looking utterly horrified, his eyes flicking from Eddie to Bobby and back again.

“Oh my god,” he uttered in a tone of complete disgust. “What—why— how could you?” Buck demanded, looking at them both, betrayal obvious in both his words and expression.

“Buck!” Eddie sounded stunned, and looked it too. He stepped back from Bobby swiftly but swayed alarmingly on his feet, and Bobby quickly grabbed his hand to steady him. Eddie threw out an uncoordinated hand and held onto Bobby’s tightly, eyes never leaving Buck’s.

“Buck—” Bobby started, but Buck just shook his head, blinking rapidly.

“Don’t. Just— don’t.” He didn’t say anything else, looking at them both standing there, hand in hand, then spun on his heels and left, almost leaping in his haste to get away from them.

“Too much drama for my taste,” the other guy commented before leaving as well, still wiping Eddie’s drink from his shirt. “Good luck with that one, lovers,” he added over his shoulder with a smirk that Bobby would have smacked off his face, had he been a weaker man.

“Oh my god,” Eddie muttered, listing to one side. “Oh my god, Bobbbyyy. Wha... what did I do?”

Grabbing the mumbling, drunken man, Bobby shook his head and started steering him towards the exit. “Buck will be fine, Eddie. We’ll get you sobered up and we’ll explain, he’ll understand.”

“Nooo, Bobby, he won’t. Itcsh Buck,” came from Eddie, who had his head down and was peering intently at his feet. Making sure he kept placing them down one in front of the other, Bobby hoped.

“Come on, let’s just get you home,” Bobby replied, fully occupied with keeping a heavily weaving Eddie from falling on his face on the sidewalk as they made their slow way towards Bobby’s car. Buck was going to have to wait. “Did you drive here?”

“Nnahuberred,” Eddie slurred in response, which Bobby hoped he was translating correctly as ‘No, I Ubered.’ They’d have to work that out tomorrow, he decided, after Eddie had sobered up.

“Where’s Christopher?” he asked after he’d all but shoved Eddie up into the passenger seat of the truck, and Eddie’s head snapped forwards from where he’d leant it back against the head rest.

“Where?” Eddie demanded, looking around wildly. “He's not... not s'posed to be here. He's... he's s'posed to be with Pepa! Wherreeish— Wherreeish he?”

“It’s alright, Eddie. Christopher is safe with Pepa, he’s not here,” Bobby said wearily. “I’m going to take you home to my place for the night, okay? I don’t think you should be alone right now. Here, hold this,” he added, handing Eddie the trash can lined with a plastic bag that he was now extremely glad he’d had the foresight to grab on his way out of the house.

“Why?” Eddie asked, peering into the trash can as he held it on his lap. “Wassitfor?”

“You’ll figure it out,” Bobby told him before buckling Eddie’s seat belt in place and closing the door, hurrying around the truck to get into his own side. 

When he opened it mere seconds later, Eddie’s head rolled towards him, once again leaning back on the headrest.

“Bobby! Hi! Wha... what are you... you doin' here?” he said happily, and Bobby sighed.

“You called me, Eddie. Remember?” he said tiredly. He had a bottle of water in the middle console and opened it before passing it to Eddie, instructing, “Drink this,” as he began the drive home.

“No, I called Buck!” Eddie informed him before obediently lifting the bottle to his mouth and well, that explained a lot.

“Yer not Buck. You're... you're Bob-obby boss capn-‘ash sir. Definitely not Buck,” Eddie added petulantly, attempting to fold his arms before staring down at the trash can and the water bottle in bewilderment. Bobby reached out and took the water bottle back, recapping it awkwardly as he drove before returning it to its place.

There was silence after that, and Bobby dared to hope that Eddie had fallen asleep. He turned the corner onto Sunset and hit play on his handsfree, carefully turning the volume down. The familiar drum beat and strain of an electric guitar from his favorite Phil Collins song sounded softly through his truck speakers.

“Buck doesn’t love me.” The words were startlingly coherent after Eddie’s previous attempts at talking, making Bobby glance his way in concern. Eddie was still staring into the trash can like it held the secrets to the universe and was about to enlighten him.

“Of course, Buck loves you,” Bobby said attempting to be reassuring. He hadn’t met maudlin drunk Eddie before, but the man contained multitudes and Bobby had seen worse. That didn’t mean he wanted him weeping all over his truck interior, though.

“Not the way I love him,” Eddie responded.

Oh lord.

‘I can feel it coming in the air tonight,’ Phil sang from the speakers. ‘Well, I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh lord.’

You and me both, Phil. You and me both.

“Eddie—” Bobby paused. He had no idea what to say, and wasn’t sure Eddie would remember the next day, anyway.

“He... he shaid... he feels like she shsees him!” a torrent of words burst from Eddie suddenly. “Shshe sees him! He'sh known her for like... like, two shhseconds, and he thinks she sees him for who he ish... and what he'sh been through!”

Who? Bobby had no idea what Eddie was talking about.

“She... she doesn't know shit! hic She doesn't know how... how hard he fought jusht to walk again! She doesn't know what hish blood tashtes like, what it looksh like on hish lips! She... she doesn't know what hish eyesh looked like when he thought Chris wash dead! She doesn't know what hish ribs feel like when they break – she doesn't know what hish hearttt feels like when it shhhtartsss beating again!"

“Oh, Eddie.” Bobby’s heart felt like it was shattering as Eddie’s traumas came tumbling from his lips in a barely coherent torrent.

"How could he chooshe her, Bobby?" Eddie asked pitifully. "I wash shtanding right next to him and all he could talk about wash her. He’ll never love me the way I love him. Nev... ever, Bobby. Nev-ever!"

“Have you ever told Buck how you feel about him?” Bobby asked, fully aware this was no time to be discussing such things, not with Eddie as drunk as he was. But he couldn’t resist asking. Eddie kept himself so closed off, he’d never seen him as open and talkative as he was being then.

And Bobby— Bobby had been watching his two youngest firefighters dance around each other for years. He was tired, okay? He was tired and it was late and all he wanted to be in his bed with his wife but instead he was driving a maudlin, drunk, lovestruck man home at ridiculous o’clock and so help him lord if he took the chance to pry just a little. He was only human, after all. 

Instead of answering, Eddie threw up into the trash can.

Bobby sighed again and kept driving.

Phil kept singing.

Definitely something in the air tonight, Phil.

Definitely.

Chapter Text

“How much do you remember?” Bobby asked after Eddie had stumbled, groaning all the way, from their guest bedroom to the coffee pot in the kitchen. It was past noon, and Eddie had only just appeared. 

There was an incomprehensible grumble from the other man as he swallowed the whole cup of black coffee he’d just poured himself with shaking hands down at once and immediately poured himself another.

“Looks like someone has a hangover,” Athena pointed out dryly, quirking her lips silently at Bobby, who felt his own twitch in response. She’d woken when they’d arrived home in the pre-dawn hours and had helped him get Eddie changed out of his vomit-splashed shirt and pants and into bed. Most of the toll for his overindulgence had made it into the trash can, but not all. They’d put his clothes into the wash when they’d woken that morning and were now folding the laundry together at the dining table. 

Bobby had told her everything, of course. There were no secrets between them.

“How did I get here?” Eddie asked as he joined them at the table with his coffee cup refilled yet again. He hadn’t touched the plate of food Bobby had set out on the bench for him when they’d heard him coming. His hair was sticking out all over the place and he had a line imprinted down his cheek, presumably from his sleeping position. Dark shadows stood out under his eyes against the unusual paleness of his face. All in all, he did not look like his usual self.

“You called me, and I picked you up,” Bobby said casually, then, “I called Pepa for you, told her where you were. She took Christopher to school for you, said Carla was picking him up this afternoon?”

“Yeah. Yeah she is. Thanks, Cap,” Eddie replied quietly, staring into his coffee cup. “Did I uh. Did I say anything? Last night?”

Eyes flicking to Athena’s and back, Bobby saw her lips twitching again even as he felt his own doing the same. “How much do you remember?” he asked instead of answering Eddie’s question.

Eddie took a long drink of his coffee. Without a word, Athena got up and retrieved the coffee pot and the plate of food, placing the latter down in front of Eddie before refilling his cup for him.

With a queasy look, Eddie pushed the plate away from him a little with a muttered, “I don’t think I can eat, sorry.”

They waited, and after another mouthful of coffee Eddie sighed and said, “Not a lot. I’ve been going to this gaming night once a month for a while, trying to meet new people, you know? I must have had a few too many drinks last night. Are you sure I didn’t say anything— strange, to you?”

“I’m sure,” Bobby told him reassuringly. It wasn’t even a lie. He’d known how Eddie felt about Buck for possibly longer than Eddie had himself, and nothing Eddie had said had surprised him.

Athena had been the one to suggest not telling Eddie what he’d said if he didn’t remember it. Bobby hadn’t liked the idea, preferring honesty as he always did, but she’d talked him round, snuggling against him in their warm bed earlier that morning.  

“Honey, that man has been repressed for years. If he’s finally opening up enough to go to a gay bar – more than once – but hasn’t talked to any of us about it, then how do you think he’ll react to finding out that he’s told someone all his deepest secrets? And not just any someone, but you – his captain!” 

“I’m his friend, too,” Bobby had pointed out, “Eddie knows that.”

“You are, but there’ll always be a line between you and the others, no matter how you want to pretend there isn’t. It’s the price of leadership, I’m afraid. And people don’t typically spill their deepest secrets out to their boss. Eddie will be embarrassed if he knew.”

“More embarrassed than knowing that we kissed?” Bobby asked pointedly, and she’d laughed merrily.

“Oh, I wish I’d been a fly on the wall for that!” Athena grinned before growing solemn again. “And to answer your question – yes. I think, for Eddie, knowing that he told you how he feels about Buck would be worse than knowing you kissed each other. No one would ever put any credence in something going on between the two of you – but for Eddie to know that he’d outed himself before he was ready? That might just undo all the progress he’s made for himself.”

“I see your point,” Bobby said thoughtfully. “I am worried about how Buck reacted, though. He certainly thought something was going on.”

“And reacted like a jilted lover?” Athena purred, smirking knowingly at him. “Eddie really doesn’t see the way Buck’s been looking at him years, does he.”

“No. And now Buck is thinking the worst – and I’m a little miffed that he could think I’d cheat on you, by the way. He knows me better than that.”

“Buck has blinkers on when it comes to Eddie, we all know that,” Athena said. “His thinking isn’t what I’d call rational when Eddie is the subject. Have you called him?”

“Just tried. He didn’t answer,” Bobby gnawed on his lip worriedly. “I need to get this cleared up before it affects team interactions at work. I can’t afford to have Buck or Eddie distracted; it could put peoples lives at risk.”

“Well, why don’t you go over there after you take Eddie home, have a talk to Buck, just the two of you,” Athena suggested, and Bobby nodded.

“You always have the best ideas,” he told her, pressing his lips against hers tenderly. “And you’re a much better kisser than Eddie Diaz.”

“Damn straight I am!” Athena agreed, kissing him back with a grin.

After Eddie – Bobby had been going to say rose from the dead but considering how recently Buck had actually done that (and Eddie’s outburst of feelings on the subject) decided against using that wording.

After Eddie woke and downed more cups of black coffee than was possibly healthy, Bobby had pushed his freshly laundered clothes towards him and told him to shower before he drove him home.

During the drive, Bobby considered again telling Eddie that they’d kissed, then decided against it. He didn’t seem to remember, and once Bobby had explained it all to Buck, there’d be no need to ever speak of it again, just like they’d already agreed.

“Are you going to be alright to work later?” he asked instead.

“I’ll be fine,” Eddie said stoically. “I’ll run a couple miles, drink some Gatorade. I’ll see you there. And Bobby – thanks for picking me up. And for letting me stay.”

“Anytime,” Bobby replied, and then, because he was still only human, added, “I thought you would have called Buck, though,” casually, wondering if Eddie would remember that he actually had called Buck.

A strange sound came from Eddie, almost like he was choking, but when Bobby looked over he looked the same as always, albeit still hungover looking. “Yeah, no, he was probably busy with Natalia.”

“Who?” Bobby asked while thinking ahh, the infamous ‘she’.

“No one,” Eddie muttered, opening his door before Bobby had quite stopped rolling to a stop at the end of his driveway. “Thanks again for everything, Cap. I appreciate it.”

“I’m glad you felt like you could call on me, Eddie,” Bobby told him sincerely. “If you ever need to talk—”

“I’m good,” Eddie cut him off, stepping back to wave at him. “I’ll see you at work later. Thanks Cap.”

With a sigh, Bobby watched him turn and almost sprint for his door. Looks like repressed Eddie was back in control.

He kind of missed maudlin Eddie. Man couldn’t speak clearly to save his life, but he was a hell of a lot more open about his feelings than this version. Bobby threw the truck into reverse and began driving towards the other person he was worried about while pondering the complexities of both Buck and Eddie’s personalities.

The pair had been working together for more than five years, now, and in that time, they’d grown closer than Bobby had ever expected them too. He’d known they’d get on well together from the moment he’d seen Eddie’s application to the LAFD, back when he’d still been living in Texas, but he hadn’t expected just quite how well it would turn out to be.

They were very nearly the same age, but Eddie had been through so much more in life than Buck had. He’d experienced so much more, from marriage to fatherhood to war. Even his injuries had given Eddie a certain gravitas that Bobby hoped Buck would learn from. A maturity that he hoped would rub off on Buck. And it had, to a degree. Buck had slid into the empty hole in the Diaz family and become another father to Christopher in what seemed like the blink of an eye, and had started growing into the mature, responsible man he was now almost at the same time.

Bobby wasn’t sure when the way that Eddie and Buck looked at each other had become something more. It had happened so gradually he wondered if they even knew themselves.

His first inkling had been when Buck had clawed at sodden, muddy ground; screaming Eddie’s name. Bobby had thought about that not so long ago, sitting in a silent hospital room watching a vent breathe for Buck while he lay comatose and unnaturally still.

The way that Eddie had screamed Buck’s name, climbing a rain-slick ladder with no harness under a sky filled with deadly lightning, no thought for his own safety, had made the hairs on Bobby’s arms stand up, sitting there in Buck’s hospital room. The room that Eddie hadn’t been able to make himself set foot inside, until his son had forced him too. Bobby had speculated that Eddie felt the same way about Buck for some time, but that night had solidified his suspicions into belief.

The two loved each other.

The two were also somehow, unbelievably, oblivious to the others’ feelings.

Bobby felt old just watching them.

He’d waited. For years, it felt like. Waited for one of them to do something or say something.

They never did.

Women came and went from their lives, disconcertingly in sync at times. Ali and Shannon had been there, then gone again so quickly. Bobby made the sign of the cross at the thought of the way Shannon had been taken, too young, too soon. He knew what being a widower was like and wouldn’t have wished that on any of his people, ever. But like him, Eddie hadn’t had a choice in the matter.

Then there’d been Taylor (he restrained himself from making the devil’s hand sign that he wanted to whenever he thought of that woman) and Ana. How either of those men thought either of those women were right for themselves, Bobby would never know. At least neither relationship had lasted too long, though Buck and Taylor were starting to worry Bobby before they finally broke up.

Just as he’d hoped, Buck had matured into a fine man. One any father would be proud of. It had been a pleasure to watch, and to be part of. Bobby couldn’t think of anyone better suited to him than Eddie. He just wished they’d pull their fingers out of their asses and do something about the way they felt for each other.

All he wanted was for Buck to be happy. Eddie too, of course, but Buck had come into his life first and had needed him more than Eddie had ever seemed to.

Though after Eddie’s outpouring of emotion the night before, Bobby was starting to realise that Eddie needed him, too. And Eddie wasn’t the only one with lingering trauma from the lightning strike. Bobby at least, was talking to Athena about it, and to Father Matt at the church. He’d even talked about it at several AA meetings, when the urge to drink had become too strong, especially while Buck was still in a coma.

It was obvious that Eddie wasn’t talking to anyone about it. Bobby made a mental note to suggest he start seeing Frank again, in a couple of days’ time, so that Eddie hopefully wouldn’t connect Bobby’s suggestion to his drunken night out.

Shaking his head at the pair of them, Bobby pulled into an empty space outside Buck’s apartment building and made his way to his door.

Which Buck didn’t answer.

After knocking again, Bobby pulled out his phone and called Buck. He didn’t answer that, either – and there was no tell-tale ring from inside the apartment.

Buck didn’t like muting his phone, everyone knew that. He didn’t like the idea of someone calling him and him missing the call in case someone ever needed him. After many complaints, he’d agreed to silence it in the bunk room when people were sleeping, but any other time he always had it set loud enough to hear clearly. 

He could have muted it now, of course, but Bobby suspected that he was just out, instead. Whether he’d gone out to avoid Bobby, or Eddie, or for some other reason entirely, Bobby had no idea.

Regretting that he was unable to clear up the misunderstanding with Buck before work, Bobby sighed. He didn’t want to go all the way home only to have to turn around and leave for work, it was too far yet too early to just go to the station already. Instead, he decided to go grocery shopping and stock up on essentials for the station before their shift started. It would save them having to do it during shift like they usually did, at least.

After sending a quick text to Athena to let her know that Eddie had made it home safe and that Buck wasn’t at home, he told her his plans and sent a line of noughts and crosses as he always did. Her response made him smile as he drove off.

Athena always made him smile.

Buck made no secret of how he felt about things from the moment he entered the station.

He slammed his locker shut, making both Chimney and Hen jump nearby, then shouldered his way past Eddie to get changed in the bathroom instead of in the locker room like he usually did.

“What burst his bubble?” Chimney asked, looking from Hen to Eddie, then to Bobby where he’d stopped outside the door of the glass walled room.

“I have no clue,” Hen said, her eyes still raised in surprise. “I haven’t seen Buck that upset since the Choco Taco was discontinued.”

“Do not even mention that name near Christopher,” Eddie ordered. “Buck got him hooked on them and now anytime even the slightest reference to them is made I have the two of them looking at me with eyes sadder than hungry puppies.”

“Duly noted. Do you know what he’s upset about, though?” Hen asked Eddie after she’d finished laughing.

He shook his head and said, “I called him a couple of times yesterday, but he never called back. Didn’t return my texts, either. I haven’t seen him since our last shift.”

Eddie doesn’t remember seeing Buck at the bar. Oh lord.

“Cap?”

“Bobby?”

Hen, then Chim’s voices broke through Bobby’s train of thought, and he blinked at them.

“Sorry, what?”

“Do you know why Buck’s upset?” Hen asked patiently, though she did raise her eyebrows at him pointedly.

“Yes,” he answered, and they all looked at him at once with interest. “I need to talk to Buck—” and the alarm went off because of course it did.

The rush to finished getting into uniforms and then turn outs put paid to any chance of talking to Buck privately, as did the close quarters in the cab of the ladder truck. Call outs first thing on shift were never ideal, but they’d worked together long enough by now to handle it with relative ease – usually.

It apparently wasn’t going to be easy today.

A two-alarm fire in a residential apartment building in the early evening was also never ideal. Families were home from work and school at that time of day, though thankfully it was too early for anyone to be asleep. They were second on the scene, with Captain Mehta in command.

“The one thirty-three’s a man down, I’ll assist them,” Buck said the moment they were geared up, and stared belligerently at Bobby when he began to object. They stood eye to eye as seconds ticked by almost audibly, Buck not backing down an inch, glaring at Bobby so ferociously that Bobby nearly expected to spontaneously combust.

“Buck—” he said, already weary at the start of their shift. “I—”

“Don’t even, Captain Nash,” Buck snarled, “LAPD is on scene. I wonder if your wife is here? Maybe you and Diaz should talk to her.”

Without waiting for permission, Buck strode off towards where the 133 were staged, leaving the rest of them staring in his wake, gob smacked.

“What the hell?”

“What was that about?”

“He totally last named you, Eddie!”

Chim, then Hen voiced their astonishment at Buck’s behavior, but all Bobby could do was look at Eddie.

Buck hadn’t looked at or spoken to Eddie since they’d left the station and now, watching him stride away from them all, Eddie looked – heartbroken, was the word Bobby would use if anyone asked him. And also utterly baffled.    

“Why—”

“One eighteen, I need you clearing the top two floors!” Captain Mehta’s voice came over the radio sharply, making them all jump. Eddie’s mouth snapped closed, his question unasked and Bobby saw his face transform, hurt vanishing beneath a professional façade with the ease of long practice.  

They didn’t see Buck for the rest of the call.

It took hours, first clearing the building, then working to knock the fire down, which was fully involved by that point. Long, dangerous and tiring, they were all sooty and in need of water and rest by the time they were done.

Then Bobby saw Buck sitting with both his turn-out coat and his shirt beneath off, on the back of the 133’s ambulance.

“Buck!” he called, moving swiftly over to check on him. Exclamations and rustling behind him told him without needing to see that the others were following him.

“I’m fine, Captain Nash,” Buck said, a mulish look appearing on his face when he looked at Bobby.

“His shoulder got clipped by a falling beam,” a paramedic who looked startlingly like Buck himself said as his hands palpated Buck’s shoulder carefully. Tall and muscle bound, the man had sideburns and a dusting of scruff on his jawline that Bobby would never allow in his own station. Beside him, he noticed Eddie glaring at the man with narrowed eyes. “No major damage but he’s going to have a hell of a bruise.”

“Let me see,” Hen and Chim ordered at the same time, brushing past Bobby and Eddie to go to Buck’s side. Still beside Bobby, Eddie twitched but stayed put. His eyes, however, followed their every move as they assessed Buck’s injury for themselves before confirming the other paramedics’ diagnosis.

“I told you I’m fine,” Buck muttered as he stood, then sucked in a pained breath when he tried to put his shirt back on.

“Here,” Hen said quickly, taking his shirt and passing it to Chimney, then taking Buck’s turn out coat and helping him slide his arms into it carefully, not allowing him to lift them too high.

“Sling?” Chimney asked her and she nodded, both ignoring Buck’s protest and guiding his arm into a sling that they took from the 133’s ambulance without even asking.

“Can I ride back with you?” Buck asked Hen. He hadn’t looked at Bobby since the curt words he’d thrown in his direction moments ago. He hadn’t looked at Eddie at all.

After throwing a confused look at Bobby, who nodded silently, Hen patted Buck on his uninjured shoulder and said, “Sure,” in a gentle voice.

Bobby let him go. Maybe Buck would talk to Hen on the drive back to the station and she’d set him straight.

But once they were all back at the station, it was clear that nothing had changed. Buck was still silently angry, seething with fury towards both Bobby and Eddie. Eddie still had no idea why, and neither did Hen or Chimney. As Bobby had feared, things were starting to splinter within the team. Buck was avoiding both him and Eddie; Eddie had now begun avoiding Buck, looking like someone had stolen his last choc chip cookie; and Hen and Chim just looked constantly confused – and worried.

This was getting out of hand. It was time to set matters right.

Mindful of Buck’s injury and his stubbornness, Bobby waited until the other man had made his way slowly upstairs, Chimney hovering one step behind him in case he unbalanced and stumbled. His concern reminded Bobby once again that Eddie and himself weren’t the only ones affected by Buck’s recent brush with death.

Chimney had struggled with it too. He’d told Bobby more than once how he was supposed to be the one on the ladder, how Buck had taken his place with a carefree smile. How guilty he felt about that. How it should have been him but wasn’t.

Hen too, had been deeply affected by the incident. She hadn’t spoken to Bobby, but to Athena, who’d only told Bobby that Hen was working through it. Her worry showed the most when Buck got hurt, as he just had, in the way her always steady hands trembled just a little as she treated him, and in the way she touched Buck whenever she could now. Light, quick touches, there and gone again in a blink, as she reassured herself that he was alive still.

“Eddie,” Bobby called quietly into the gym, drawing Eddie’s attention from where he’d started wrapping his hands in preparation to use the punching bag. His go-to for when he was struggling with his feelings, Bobby knew from long experience. He didn't usually do it in the middle of the night, though.

“What, Cap,” Eddie said dully, not meeting Bobby’s eyes.

“Meeting upstairs, now,” Bobby ordered, leaving no room for disobedience in his voice. He pretended he didn’t hear Eddie’s sigh or see him roll his eyes, choosing to follow him upstairs instead of by his side.

When they reached the top of the stairs, Buck saw them, and as Bobby had predicted silently to himself, hauled himself to his feet with the obvious intention of going somewhere else.

“At the table everyone,” Bobby ordered, staying put in the middle of landing before the stairs, bodily blocking Buck’s escape attempt. “You too, Buck,” he added when it seemed like Buck was going to try and get past him anyway. At least he couldn’t slide down the pole with his hurt shoulder, though Bobby wouldn’t put it past him to try.

With a loud, put upon sigh, Buck slouched across to the table and sat down with a thunk, at the opposite end from where Eddie was sitting. His petulant, childish manner was almost funny, and Bobby had to bite his cheek to keep from laughing. That would not do at all, not when his team was fractured like this.

Bobby sat down at the head of the table, next to Eddie. It wasn’t intentional, but he’d thought that Buck might just bolt if he’d tried to sit at his end of the table.

“Alright. Buck, I would have preferred to talk to you privately about this—” Bobby started, and Buck snorted, a loud, disdainful huff that had his nostrils flaring wide.

“Of course you would have,” he snapped at Bobby, then muttered, “cheating bastard,” under his breath, glaring at Bobby all the while. Not so quietly that everyone at the table couldn’t hear him though.

Audible inhalations sounded from Hen, Chimney and Eddie at Buck’s words, and all three of them drew back, looking shocked.

“Buck!” Hen admonished, and Buck at least had the grace to drop his eyes, looking down and away from her disapproval.

“Buck—” Bobby tried again, and Buck cut him off once more.

“Do you want to tell them what the two of you are doing or shall I?” he demanded. “We should call Athena, too, get her down here to hear this.”

“Bobby already called me,” Athena said from behind them all, and Buck spun to see her where she’d just stepped up to the top of the stairs. Buck turned back to stare at Bobby, eyes wide, his face drained of color.

“You don’t even have the decency to tell her in private?” he hissed, then stood and moved over to Athena, reaching out his good arm to hug her. “I’m so sorry, Athena. I’ll be there for you, I promise. Anything you need, I’ll be there.”

Buck's behavior towards Bobby in particular suddenly made a lot more sense when Bobby saw his tenderness and concern for Athena. The two had grown closer after the lightning strike, and had been spending a lot more time together.

“Thank you, Buckaroo, but I don’t think that will be necessary,” Athena told him after she’d hugged him back. “There has been a misunderstanding. Bobby?”

Nodding in thanks to his wife, who he could tell by her body language was prepared to hold Buck physically in place should he try to flee, Bobby took a deep breath and looked at his team.

“Last night, Eddie went to a bar,” he began. Everyone was watching him silently, he saw. “He had a few too many drinks and was getting some unwanted attention.”

Bobby chose his words carefully, aware that Eddie hadn’t told any of them about his… new awareness of his sexuality, Bobby supposed it should be called. Or maybe new acceptance of it.

He didn’t know, Eddie hadn’t told him, and he hadn’t asked when Eddie was sober, wanting to respect his privacy as much as possible. To his side, Eddie had tensed, confirming Bobby’s guess that he wasn’t ready to come out. Flicking what he hoped Eddie would recognize was a reassuring look, Bobby continued.

“Eddie called me for help, and I went to pick him up. I was with Athena at home when I got the call,” he added for Buck’s sake. Beside Athena, Buck was looking confused, a frown on his brow.

“The person pestering Eddie wouldn’t back off and so we decided we’d make them think Eddie was unavailable. That’s what you saw, Buck. I wasn’t cheating on Athena. She knew where I was, who I was with – and I told her the rest the moment I got home.”

“It was after we’d poured Eddie into our spare bed, actually,” Athena corrected him, and Bobby smiled at her.

“Why would Buck think you were cheating on Athena – with Eddie?” Chim said slowly, frowning.

Beside him, Hen’s eyes suddenly widened, then flicked to Eddie, who was staring intently at his hands on the table before him, then to Bobby. She raised one eyebrow inquiringly and Bobby realized his careful use of pronouns may have revealed what he was trying to hide. He shook his head at Hen warningly, a small movement that he prayed no one else noticed.

“You know what Buck can be like sometimes, Chim,” Hen spoke loudly, slapping her hands down on the table then pushing herself to her feet. She threw an apologetic look towards Buck before saying, “Sometimes he doesn’t think before he jumps to conclusions. That’s all this is, a silly misunderstanding. Cap, we need to restock the ambulance, if that’s alright with you?”

“Of course,” Bobby nodded gratefully, smiling at Hen in appreciation. She hustled Chimney down the stairs swiftly, leaving the four of them alone.

“I was there,” Buck said, still frowning. “I saw what you did. And you’re okay with it?” He looked at Athena beside him, then stepped back from her doubtfully.

“Buck, honey, neither Bobby nor Eddie are the type to cheat,” Athena told him gently. “You know that, if you’d just stop and think with your head for a moment instead of your heart.”

“What was I supposed to think?” Buck cried out, pacing away from her towards the kitchen before spinning around and pacing back.

He jabbed his fingers in Bobby and Eddie’s direction as he spoke to Athena. “The man I see as my father and the man I love— uh, as my best friend – hooking up together? It was like watching some sort of terrible telenovela!”

Bobby saw Athena’s face contort at Buck’s attempt at covering up his slip as he bit his lip to do the same. Somehow, neither of them laughed at the sheer obliviousness of the pair before them.

“What?” the word burst out of Eddie as his head snapped up and he spoke for the first time since Bobby had called the unorthodox meeting. “What did we do?”

Oh lord.

“He kissed you, Eddie – and you kissed him back!” Buck shot in Eddie’s direction. “Don’t try and pretend it didn’t happen. I saw you dancing, and I saw you holding hands.”

“Why—” Eddie looked completely astounded, then screwed his face up in a way that was quite frankly insulting to Bobby. “Eww, no. Why would we do that? Bobby’s straight, Buck. You know that.”

Eddie didn’t say that he was also straight. An interesting omission, Bobby mused. The slight arching of Athena’s eyebrow told him she’d caught it too.

“I don’t know anything anymore,” Buck muttered, as he flung himself down into a chair heavily. A small grunt of pain puffed from his lips as his elbow hit the table and he winced. At once, Eddie was on his feet and moving to Buck’s side, untying the sling and sliding the turn out coat from Buck’s shoulders carefully.

“You need to ice this,” Eddie declared, checking Buck’s shoulder over the way Bobby knew he’d been itching to do since they’d seen Buck at the call, sitting on the back step of the 133’s ambulance. “Bobby—”

“Here,” Bobby said, passing Eddie the cold pack he’d retrieved from the kitchen freezer the moment Buck had grunted, along with a tea towel to wrap it in. Then he turned his back on the pair, and murmured, “Coffee?” to Athena quietly.

“Lord yes,” she sighed back quietly, shaking her head at Buck and Eddie. “It’s been a long day.”

“You’re telling me,” Bobby chuckled as they moved away towards the coffee maker together. It wasn’t ideal, but at least with their backs turned and their attention on each other instead of on the pair of man sitting together at the table, they could give the pair a semblance of privacy.

They’d each taken several sips of their freshly made coffees before Bobby dared to glance over his shoulder at Buck and Eddie.

“Buck, I have no desire to kiss Bobby. Ever,” he heard Eddie saying, and Bobby turned his head to find Athena still facing away from the pair with one ear cocked towards them in a way that told him she was listening too.

“There’s only one man I want to kiss,” Eddie continued, and Bobby felt his eyes widen. Beside him, Athena glanced towards him, her eyes wide too.

“Who? The hot paramedic from the 133?” Buck asked, somehow sounding both defeated and jealous. Athena rolled her eyes and huffed out a very quiet snort through her nostrils that almost made Bobby burst out laughing.

Bobby started to turn towards the pair without even thinking about it, wanting to see— and Athena reached out and snagged the sleeve of his shirt, tugging him back to face the back wall of the kitchen with an authoritative glare.

“Don’t you dare,” she ordered under her breath. “If you spook them now, you had better pray to God for mercy, Captain Nash, because I sure won’t be granting you any.”

“Ma’am, I wouldn’t dare,” Bobby replied with a cheeky grin, loving it when she bossed him around. “Unless there’s some sort of punishment to be given, that is?”

Behind them, there was silence. Bobby concentrated, keeping eye contact with his wife, and heard a quiet, “Oh!” followed by the soft, unmistakable sounds of kissing.

He smiled, and Athena did too.

“Finally,” they breathed the word out together.

The chorus of Phil’s song sounded in Bobby’s memory, and he smiled more.

Finally, they could all stop waiting for this moment.

Buck and Eddie had figured it out.

If Bobby had known all he’d had to do was kiss one of them to get here, he would have done it years ago.

(Chimney laughed until he cried when he learned the true story)