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It was a normal afternoon in Sumeru. The weather was nice and people were out and about the town.
Tighnari had finished his work early and decided to wash up. After a long, warm shower, the man got out and wrapped a towel around his waist before glancing in the mirror.
The sight of his chest immediately upset him. He had taken off his tape to change it out once he got out of the shower which left his top half bare.
Quickly, he looked away so as not to upset himself further.
His chest, hips, thighs, it all felt wrong. Though he was a skinny guy, he focused on every curve and fat whenever he looked at himself.
Every curve of his body was a reminder of how he was biologically female and always would be. He’d stare in the mirror cutting himself down for the body he was born in.
‘Why can’t I have a flat chest like Cyno? He gets to walk around shirtless and wear whatever he wants whereas I have to layer up to cover the things I hate about myself. It’s just not fair.’
Tears welled up in Tighnari’s eyes.
He could try to get top surgery if he wanted but there was never enough time. People had high expectations and he was always needed for something. Tighnari hadn’t gotten a day off in Archons knows how long.
Yeah, Cyno had always told him his body was gorgeous and he loved his boyfriend just the way he was but it didn’t make his dysphoria any better.
The man had been encouraging Tighnari to take time off both for his mental health as well as time to get the top surgery he so desperately wanted but Tighnari wouldn’t listen. He’d just say he was busy or it wasn’t as important as his work.
There were plenty of doctors in Sumeru very qualified to give top surgery so that wasn’t a problem. The problem was Tighnari’s inability to put his needs before his responsibilities.
The man stood there in the center of his room until it became too much. He had to calm down. His chest hurt from his heart beating so hard and hyperventilating.
Walking over to his bed, Tighnari sat on the edge and put his head in his hands. His shoulders went up and down as his body shook as he cried.
He wasn’t sure how long he stayed like that but it must have been a long time as he would come to realize he missed dinner. He hadn’t even noticed Cyno enter the room after a long day's work.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Cyno asked with a concerned look on his face.
Tighnari raised his head and wiped his tears. Taking a deep breath to regain his composure, Tighnari pulled himself together before speaking.
“I’m sorry,” Tighnari said as he sniffled.
“Don’t be,” Cyno paused, “Do you want to talk about it?”
Cyno walked over to his weepy boyfriend before kneeling in front of the sitting man.
Tighnari turned his head so as not to meet eyes with the man before him. Though this wasn’t the first time Cyno had seen him like this, it was still a little embarrassing to be caught crying.
“What’s wrong? Work stressing you out again? Have you not been taking care of yourself? No rush to tell me obviously. I just want to know if there’s something I could do to help.”
“It’s just,” Tighnari choked up, “I-I’m not feeling good about myself right now. I got out of the shower and saw myself in the mirror and-”
Cyno didn’t need his boyfriend to explain further as they’d had this talk multiple times in the past.
“It’s okay, your feelings are valid. I know there’s nothing I can say to help make you feel better but if there’s anything I could do please let me know.”
“Thanks Cyno. I love you.”
“I love you too,” Cyno responded with a kind look in his eyes.
Tighnari hadn’t realized he still had just a towel around his waist, leaving his chest uncovered.
It wasn’t Cyno’s first time seeing Tighnari’s chest and it certainly wouldn’t be his last but he knew the man would most likely prefer to be covered up right now.
“Give me a moment to grab something.”
Cyno stood and picked up a light blanket, taking and wrapping it around Tighnari’s shoulders.
“Thanks,” he said weakly as he held it tight.
“So, what do you need from me right now? I can stay or go to give you space.”
“Stay with me,” Tighnari pleaded, “Please, I don’t want to be alone right now.”
“Of course,” Cyno responded as he sat down next to the man.
“Is there anything you need? How about a change of clothes?”
“Okay,” Tighnari sniffled as he watched his boyfriend get up and head towards the dresser.
“Could you grab that one shirt I like?” Tighnari asked, “You know, the soft one.”
“Sure, you mean the light purple one right?”
“Yeah, that one.”
The shirt had been Cyno’s but Tighnari had borrowed it once and looked so cute in it that Cyno let him keep it.
Cyno picked up the shirt, a pair of boxers, and a hairbrush before turning back around to face the sitting man.
“Here,” Cyno handed the clothes to Tighnari who took them.
“I’ll give you some privacy. Just let me know when you’re finished.”
The man turned his back to Tighnari and took a few steps away from him to give him space.
Tighnari let the blanket fall off his shoulders before standing up and taking the towel off as well. He placed it on the bed next to the blanket then picked up the boxers, stepping into and pulling it up.
He then threw the oversized shirt over his head then took the blanket and towel off the bed and put them on the floor. He could wash them later.
The shirt was lightweight yet thick enough that you couldn’t see his chest through the fabric. It was boxy so his curves were hidden as well.
“Okay, you can look now.”
Cyno turned to see his gorgeous boyfriend standing there awkwardly as his boyfriend took in the sight.
“Archons, you’re so handsome.”
Tighnari blushed, “Thank you.”
“Now, do you want to brush your hair or do you want me to? It’s starting to dry out of place.”
“Would you do it for me?”
Hairbrush in hand, Cyno went and sat in the middle of the bed, motioning for his boyfriend to join him. Tighnari gave a toothless smile as he walked over and sat in front of the man, legs hanging over the edge.
“So,” Cyno started running the brush through his lover’s hair, being as gentle as he could as he did so.
“What’s going on? We can sit in silence if you don’t want to talk about it but if you do, I’m here to listen.”
Tighnari sighed, “I’m just sad is all. I saw my chest when I got out of the shower and freaked out a little. It’s no big deal though. It just is what it is.”
“Don’t say that,” Cyno responded, “You always dismiss your feelings like they aren’t important even though they are. It’s okay to feel dysphoric and it’s okay to cry.”
Wiping his tears, Tighnari nodded.
“Yeah, you’re right but still. It’s so hard feeling this way. I try to ignore it and distract myself but it’s times like when I see myself in the mirror that the feelings resurface.”
Still brushing his boyfriend’s hair, Cyno paused to lean over and kiss Tighnari on one of his tear stained cheeks.
The man continued, “I can’t walk around shirtless. I can’t even wear tight clothes without being dysphoric. No matter how much I try to pass, it still feels like it’s not enough. I’m not enough and this stupid chest I was born with is one of the physical reminders of that.”
Hearing Tighnari talk like that shattered Cyno’s heart. He wished there was something he could do to make his boyfriend not feel like that. He’d do anything to make it so Tighnari didn’t have to live with dysphoria and all those negative thoughts racing through his head.
“Tighnari,” the saddened man spoke, “There’s something I have to tell you.”
He slowed his brushing to a stop, causing Tighnari to turn his body around to face his boyfriend.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“I’m about to tell you something important and you don’t have to agree to do it but I just want you to know it’s an option for us.”
“Okay, should I be worried?”
Tighnari’s tone of voice was that of an anxious man.
“Don’t worry, love. This is good news.”
Cyno held out his hand for Tighnari to take in his.
“How about we get comfortable before I tell you?”
Tighnari nodded and allowed himself to be led so Cyno was sitting up against the headboard and Tighnari was sitting bridal style on his lap, looking up at the handsome man as he did so.
“Okay, here it goes. So you know how I’ve been taking a lot of commissions this past month or so?”
Not knowing where this was going, Tighnari nodded hesitantly.
“Anyways, I’ve been taking commissions to save up for something important.”
“And what might that be?”
“I’ve saved up the money to pay for your top surgery. I am going to do as much as I can to take over for you while you’re recovering. I have plenty of vacation time and my men can handle themselves. Obviously you don’t have to and we could use the money for something else but I want to let you know that it’s an option.”
“W-What?” Tighnari croaked out in a state of complete shock.
“Are you serious right now because if you are why? Why would you go through all that trouble just for me? You were so stressed out juggling everything while taking commissions. You couldn’t even find the time to play TCG.”
Cyno gave the man a kiss on the forehead.
“I’d do it all over again just to make you happy. I want you to feel good in your own skin. I want you to see yourself the way I see you. You’re so handsome and kind hearted. You’re the love of my life, Nari.”
“Oh Cyno,” Tighnari said with tears streaming down his face.
He wrapped his arms around Cyno’s neck and cried hard into his chest.
“It’s okay, I’m here. I’ll always be here. We’re going to do this together, Nari. I’ll be there every step of the way.”
Cyno rubbed circles on Tighnari’s back as he comforted him, whispering sweet words into his ear.
It was so overwhelming to know how loved he was by his boyfriend. Tighnari had never met someone who loved as much as Cyno did.
He had to take a minute to calm his breathing before speaking in a soft voice.
“Thank you,” he took a haggard breath, “You have no idea how much this means to me.”
“You’re very welcome. Just know that if you ever need me, I’ll drop everything for you as I know you’d do for me.”
“I don’t deserve you,” Tighnari said with his head resting in the crook of Cyno’s neck.
“Of course you do. You’re the most amazing person in all of Teyvat I’d give up all my TCG cards if it meant you’d love yourself the way I love you.”
“Cyno, I love you so much,” the emotional man hugged his boyfriend tighter.
“I know. Now, let’s get you to bed. You look exhausted from work and all the emotions of the day.”
Cyno lifted his lover up and adjusted them so they were laying under the covers, facing one another.
“We can talk about the steps to take for this surgery tomorrow. What matters right now is that you get some sleep.”
He hugged Tighnari close, giving the man a peck on the forehead.
“Hey, Cyno?” Tighnari asked.
“Yes?”
Tighnari wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, resting his head on Cyno’s chest.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
The two drifted off to sleep in one another’s embrace, sleeping soundly until morning.