Chapter Text
INT. FLEABAG’S FLAT. BEDROOM - DAY
FLEABAG is asleep in bed. The camera is close on her. She opens her eyes and jerks back, surprised to see the camera.
FLEABAG
Fuck!
She eyes us, unsure of what we’re doing here. Her eyes dart around for a moment, nervous. She ultimately decides to ignore us. She gets up and starts preparing for the day. She gathers the clothing she wants to wear and heads into the bathroom, closing the door in our face.
PAN TO SHOW BEDROOM.
The blankets on Fleabag’s bed are very rumpled. One moves slightly. We realize she was sleeping beside a MAN who is almost totally hidden under the blankets. We will soon discover that this is her FRIEND WITH BENEFITS.
CAMERA MOVES FORWARD TO INVESTIGATE.
Fleabag interrupts the camera by re-entering the room. She is exasperated at seeing us. She studies us for a beat before fixing her expression. She gives us a little smile. She’s ready to play.
TITLES: FLEABAG
EXT. STREETS OF LONDON - DAY
Fleabag is walking to the café.
FLEABAG
(to camera)
You know that feeling when you’ve finally gotten your shit together?
EXT. HILARY’S CAFÉ - DAY
Fleabag is unlocking the front door.
FLEABAG
(to camera)
You’ve got a casual relationship that works with your schedule, which is perfect because-
CUT TO: INT. HILARY’S CAFÉ - LATER
Fleabag is at the counter. The café is filled with CUSTOMERS. Fleabag looks genuinely happy as she interacts with them.
FLEABAG
(to camera)
Your café is doing great.
She hands CHATTY JOE a pastry.
FLEABAG
(to Chatty Joe)
Here you are, Joe.
CHATTY JOE
Cheers, love!
FLEABAG
(to camera)
Like, really great.
CAMERA PANS TO SHOW CAFÉ.
The café has been updated, though guinea pigs are still prominently featured. Fleabag looks proud. We can see two EMPLOYEES helping customers in the background. The camera focuses on one in particular, a teenage girl - the BANK MANAGER’S DAUGHTER. She stops what she is doing to coo at HILARY and STEPHANIE.
FLEABAG
(to camera)
The Bank Manager’s daughter. She’s a good worker, all things considered.
The Bank Manager’s Daughter stops fussing with the animals and picks up a stack of covered platters of canapés.
FLEABAG
(to camera)
You even do a bit of catering on the side.
BANK MANAGER’S DAUGHTER
I’ll be back in a bit, boss!
Fleabag waves to the Bank Manager’s Daughter as she exits. Fleabag’s phone vibrates. She looks at it.
A text from Claire: Still on for 3:00?
FLEABAG
(to camera)
You and your sister have weekly chats where you don’t even argue that much.
Fleabag types a quick affirmative response to Claire, then takes a customer’s order. She laughs charmingly. She looks over her shoulder at us.
FLEABAG
(to camera)
And that priest you were obsessed with…
The PRIEST enters the café wearing his church attire. Fleabag smiles genuinely when she sees him.
PRIEST
Hello!
FLEABAG
Good morning, Father.
She hands him a go-cup of coffee she’d had waiting for him. He groans with gratitude.
PRIEST
You’re a lifesaver.
Fleabag grins and accepts the bills he hands her. He takes a sip of the coffee and closes his eyes. It’s rather sexual.
PRIEST
Mmm…
Fleabag looks at us and shrugs. His sensual behavior does nothing to her. She’s showing off.
FLEABAG
(to camera, very casual)
It passed.
Chatty Joe approaches the Priest. They greet each other warmly. They are friends.
PRIEST
(to Chatty Joe)
Still on for tea tomorrow afternoon?
CHATTY JOE
Wouldn’t miss it for the world!
FLEABAG
(to camera)
I mean, don’t get me wrong, things were rough for a while.
CUT TO: INT. FLASHBACK, HILARY’S CAFÉ - NIGHT
It’s pouring down rain. Fleabag is tidying up the café. She’d spent the evening making some updates to the café - we can see a can of paint in the background and some tools.
We hear knocking on the window. Fleabag looks up. The Priest is standing in front of the window, soaking wet. He’s drunk and heartbroken, clutching a bottle of gin.
CUT TO: INT. HILARY’S CAFÉ - CONT.
Back with Fleabag.
FLEABAG
(to camera, casual)
But we got through it.
The Priest turns back to Fleabag.
PRIEST
Those canapés are going to be ready for Saturday’s fête, right?
FLEABAG
Right. I’ll drop them ‘round Friday.
PRIEST
See you then.
He winks at her, then exits.
Fleabag looks at the camera, totally unmoved. She’s showing off again.
INT. HILARY’S CAFÉ - DAY
Fleabag and CLAIRE are sat together in the empty café, each with cups of tea in front of them. Claire has several interior design magazines open on the table between them that she is poring over.
FLEABAG
(to camera)
Claire’s back in London for the time being while the new house in Finland is being renovated. She’s chuffed about it.
Claire looks incredibly stressed.
CLAIRE
What do you think of white tile with those cupboards?
FLEABAG
I already told you, I prefer those ones.
Fleabag points to a garish, brightly colored tile.
Claire is irritated. Fleabag is pleased.
CLAIRE
Why do I even ask you?
Claire packs the magazines back in her bag.
CLAIRE
So, about this “friend” of yours…
FLEABAG
Smooth transition.
Claire gives her a look.
FLEABAG
Why all the sudden interest?
CLAIRE
I don’t have the right to know who is in my sister’s life?
FLEABAG
No.
Claire ignores this.
CLAIRE
I want to meet him.
Fleabag glances at the camera.
FLEABAG
Oh, I don’t think that’s necessary.
Fleabag stands and starts clearing their mugs of tea.
CLAIRE
Why are you being so secretive? You’ve cancelled on dinner with me and Klare twice since I’ve been back in London on the pretense of being with him. I think it’s about time I met him.
Fleabag shrugs. She takes the mugs to the sink. Claire studies her.
CLAIRE
That Priest really did a number on you, didn’t he?
Fleabag looks at the camera. She shakes her head in disagreement.
FLEABAG
Claire, honestly-
CLAIRE
I know, I know. You’re over it. It’s been well over a year. You’re friends. You’ve just been with this new man for months and-
FLEABAG
I told you, it’s just casual! Friends with benefits situation, you know how it is.
Claire narrows her eyes.
CLAIRE
You’re not capable of a long-term friends-with-benefits situation.
Fleabag scoffs. She looks at the camera, offended.
FLEABAG
I am capable of a long-term friends-with-benefits situation, thank you very much. I just don’t want to complicate matters by introducing the family. I like my life as it is.
Claire starts to speak, but Fleabag cuts her off.
FLEABAG
And don’t start with me on how your relationship strengthened after meeting the families. Klare is a freak of nature.
Claire gives Fleabag a look.
CLAIRE
Is he married?
FLEABAG
What? No, he’s not married!
CLAIRE
Is he that new bloke you hired? The tall one?
FLEABAG
No, I’m not fucking him! Gross.
CLAIRE
Then why are you hiding him?
FLEABAG
He’s… shy.
Claire gives Fleabag another look.
FLEABAG
Fine. I’ll ask him. Just don’t get your knickers in a twist when he tells me to fuck off, alright?
Claire sighs.
CLAIRE
It’s fine. I just… You don’t need to hide from me.
FLEABAG
I know that.
(beat)
I am happy, Claire. Really.
Claire smiles at Fleabag. She doesn’t believe her.
INT. FLEABAG’S FLAT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Fleabag is curled up on the sofa with a book. She looks at the camera. She is waiting for something.
FLEABAG
(to camera)
Really, everything is normal around here. Nothing exciting or interesting. You can go.
(beat)
Really.
The camera does not move. The buzzer goes.
Fleabag is excited but downplays it for the camera. She gives us a quick look as she goes to the door and opens it.
She angles her body so we can’t see who is at the door.
FLEABAG
(to Friend With Benefits, smiling)
What a lovely surprise.
She looks over her shoulder at us.
FLEABAG
(to camera)
Shoo!
She picks up a book and throws it at us, hard.
JUMP CUT TO: INT. FLEABAG’S FLAT. BEDROOM - LATER
Fleabag is lying on her back, looking up at the camera. The room is dark. The Friend With Benefits has his arms around her waist, though we can’t see his face. He is asleep.
FLEABAG
(to camera)
I’m serious. I don’t need you anymore. I’m done with that now. I’ve got a therapist that I see regularly.
(beat)
Well, relatively regularly.
(beat, defensive)
I’m very busy!
In his sleep, the Friend with Benefits tightens his arms around Fleabag. Fleabag glances at him, then turns back to us.
FLEABAG
(to camera, whispering)
It’s alright. Go on.
CAMERA BACKS AWAY.
FLEABAG
(to camera, whispering)
There you are.
CAMERA BACKS TO FAR CORNER OF THE ROOM.
Fleabag cuddles up with the Friend With Benefits. We still can’t see much of him, but we can tell that Fleabag is smiling.
INT. FLEABAG’S FLAT. BEDROOM - MORNING
Fleabag wakes up and stretches her arms toward the other side of her bed. It’s empty.
The Friend With Benefits left. Fleabag looks vaguely troubled by this.
She notices the camera. She is irritated that we’re still here. She fixes her features and nods toward the empty half of her bed.
FLEABAG
(to camera)
Must have an early appointment.
She rolls over and gets out of bed.
EXT. HILARY’S CAFÉ - DAY
Establisher shot.
INT. HILARY’S CAFÉ - DAY
Fleabag is serving customers. The café is busy even though it just opened.
Fleabag sends a text to someone in her phone labelled “FWB”:
Where were you off to so early this morning?
He replies quickly:
Delivery 4 wedding in N London. U forgot??
Fleabag gives the camera a furtive look. She replies:
Right. Forgot about that. Guess I won’t have to replace you 😉
Reply:
Want me to stop by l8r?
No, I’m closing up early in favor of some me-time. I’m all worn out from yesterday’s excitement.
Reply: 🤤
Fleabag laughs and tucks her phone away. She gives the camera a look.
INT. HILARY’S CAFÉ - LATER
Chatty Joe approaches the counter that Fleabag is wiping down.
CHATTY JOE
You haven’t seen that devilish Priest around here have you, love?
FLEABAG
Can’t say I have.
Chatty Joe looks troubled.
CHATTY JOE
He’s not usually this late. He didn’t say he was cancelling…
FLEABAG
Maybe something came up? That Jesus fellow sounds like he's making an appearance any day now. Maybe today's the day?
CHATTY JOE
Must’ve done. Ah, well! If you see him, tell him I’ll catch up with him soon, will you?
FLEABAG
Sure. She gives the camera a look.
FLEABAG
(to camera)
He never misses his dates with Joe.
Fleabag shrugs it off and goes about her business.
EXT. HILARY’S CAFÉ - EVENING
Fleabag is closing up the café. She starts walking home.
EXT. STREETS OF LONDON - EVENING
Fleabag is walking home. She’s deep in thought, concerned about something. She catches us staring and fixes her expression.
FLEABAG
(to camera)
I’m sure he’s just busy with churchy things. He’s weird about giving out his phone number, so Joe probably couldn’t call him. I bet they’re at the church together now talking about saltine crackers and the merits of learning the ukulele or whatever Joe talks about. Yeah.
INT. HILARY’S CAFÉ - DAY
The next morning.
Fleabag is opening the café. Chatty Joe enters.
FLEABAG
Catch up with the Priest last night, Joe?
CHATTY JOE
The old bastard stood me up! Can’t seem to get hold of him today, either.
Fleabag looks at the camera. She pulls out her phone and types a text to the contact “Priest”:
Where’ve you been? You’ve broken Joe’s heart.
No reply.
Fleabag makes a face and tucks her phone away.
INT. HILARY’S CAFÉ - LATER
Clips of Fleabag checking her phone throughout the day. She tries to be sneaky about it.
INT. FLEABAG’S FLAT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
Fleabag is sat in bed, reading. She glances at the clock. It’s late.
She checks her phone. No messages.
She fires off a text to FWB.
What are you up to?
She waits for a beat. No reply.
She frowns at the camera. She then goes to her messages with the Priest. We can see she has sent a couple more texts throughout the day. No response.
Fleabag sighs. She closes her book and plugs in her phone.
FLEABAG
(to camera)
Goodnight, then.
She snaps off the light and lies down.
Beat.
Fleabag’s phone buzzes. She sits bolt upright and scrambles for it.
She’s received a text from FWB:
Sleeping. Fuck off.
Fleabag looks at the camera. Charming. She puts her phone back down and tries to go back to sleep.
EXT. STREETS OF LONDON - DAY
The next day. Fleabag is heading to the church with a box of canapés under her arm. She looks tired.
EXT. CHURCH - DAY
Fleabag approaches the church.
INT. CHURCH - DAY
PAM
Oh, hello!
Fleabag looks at the camera.
FLEABAG
(to camera)
Pam. She still hates me.
(to Pam, cheerful)
I just thought I’d drop these ‘round. Is the Priest here?
PAM
No, he’s not.
FLEABAG
Oh. Will he be back soon?
PAM
Probably not, no.
FLEABAG
Where’s he gone?
PAM
I’m afraid that’s not for me to say. I’ll let him know you popped by, shall I?
Fleabag forces a smile.
FLEABAG
Thanks, Pam.
Fleabag makes a face at the camera as soon as Pam turns away. She exits.
EXT. STREETS OF LONDON - DAY
Fleabag’s phone rings - FWB. She looks at the camera.
FLEABAG
(into phone)
Hey. No, now is a great time!
(beat)
Er, church.
(beat)
Just... dropping off a delivery.
Fleabag looks at the camera.
FLEABAG
(into phone)
Yeah, I’m free.
(beat)
Yeah. Yeah, that would be great. You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had. Stephanie was a total wreck…
EXT. RESTAURANT - EVENING
Fleabag arrives at a restaurant. She motions for us to go away. She enters the restaurant. We watch through the window.
Fleabag approaches a tall, handsome man and presses a kiss to his cheek. They sit down. Fleabag looks happy.
Fleabag sees us through the window. She glares and gestures wildly. Her date is none the wiser.
CUT TO: INT. FLEABAG’S FLAT. LIVING ROOM - MORNING
It’s very early in the morning. Fleabag looks like she’s hardly slept.
She’s sat in front of the telly. The news is playing. Fleabag is about to change the channel when a headline pops up.
REPORTER (O.S.)
(through telly)
And up next - the story of a man who locked himself out on his own balcony for over 24 hours.
MAN (O.S.)
I live alone, like, and I’d left my phone in the kitchen. Thank god my sister thought to pop ‘round when I hadn’t answered my mobile!
Fleabag looks at the camera.
Her phone rings - FWB. She answers.
FLEABAG
(into phone, flirtatious)
Good morning to you too.
(beat, Fleabag yawns)
You wore me out last night.
(laughs)
Listen, I just saw this thing on the news. This guy was stuck on his-
(beat)
No, it’s just that his family thought he was missing until-
(beat)
I was thinking I’d just pop ‘round to make sure he wasn’t…
She glances at the camera.
We can’t make out what FWB is saying, but we can hear his muffled voice. He doesn’t sound happy.
FLEABAG
(into phone)
No, it’s not that I don’t want to see you, it’s-
(beat)
Of course I still like you! What do you-
(beat)
I’m just concerned-
(beat)
Because he’s my friend! Fucking hell. Is sex the only thing you think about?
(beat)
I don’t see how that’s any business of yours.
(beat)
He’s a priest for Christ’s sake!
(longer beat)
What part of this conversation makes you think I’d be interested in seeing your mate get his eyebrows waxed off?
(beat)
I don’t care what bet he lost! I’m not interested!
Fleabag runs a hand over her face.
FLEABAG
(into phone)
Listen, I’ll talk to you later, alright? I can’t do this right now.
(beat)
Yeah. Bye.
Fleabag tosses her phone on the bed and makes an aggravated noise.
Beat.
Her phone beeps. She grabs it. She’s disappointed to see it’s just a text from FWB:
Dave’s getting waxed at Glenda’s Salon in 30. C u there??
Fleabag gives the camera a look.
She throws her phone back down and flops on her back.
EXT. PRIEST’S HOUSE - MORNING
Fleabag is approaching the Priest’s house. She knocks loudly on the door. No response.
She tries the doorknob. Locked. She looks at the camera.
Fleabag circles the house. All the lights are off. She looks at the camera.
EXT. CHURCH - DAY
Fleabag is approaching the church.
FLEABAG
(to camera)
I don’t usually go to the fêtes, but I’m making an exception.
A man wearing priest’s robes is standing and chatting with a group of PARISHIONERS. His back is to Fleabag.
Fleabag looks at us, relieved. She approaches.
FLEABAG
There you - oh!
The NEW PRIEST has turned to greet her. Fleabag looks at us, alarmed.
FLEABAG
Sorry, you’re not… Who are you?
NEW PRIEST
(cheerful)
Just filling in while your usual fellow is out for a bit. I’m Father-
Fleabag ignores the New Priest’s outstretched hand.
FLEABAG
Where’s he gone? He didn’t say he was leaving.
NEW PRIEST
Well, I’m sure he had his reasons…
FLEABAG
When will he be back?
The New Priest looks alarmed by Fleabag. He chuckles awkwardly and looks around, hoping someone will come to his rescue. Fleabag keeps staring at him.
Pam appears.
PAM
(to Fleabag)
Hello, dear.
The New Priest makes a hasty yet subtle retreat.
FLEABAG
The Priest is still out, I see.
PAM
Yes.
FLEABAG
Any updates on when he’ll be back?
PAM
I’m sorry. I’m not at liberty to say.
Fleabag looks at the camera.
FLEABAG
I’m just a little concerned-
PAM
Nothing to be concerned about.
FLEABAG
Ok… I just wanted to-
PAM
He’s perfectly fine.
FLEABAG
Ok.
PAM
Ok.
Pam is smiling at Fleabag. She is frightening. The New Priest is watching their conversation from a safe distance, chuckling awkwardly.
Fleabag looks at the camera.
FLEABAG
I’ll just stick around the fête for a bit, if you don’t mind.
PAM
Suit yourself.
Pam doesn’t move. She and Fleabag stare each other down for a beat before Fleabag finally turns away.
She makes a face at the camera. What fresh hell?
EXT. CHURCH - DAY
Fleabag is holding her phone up to her ear. We hear an automated voicemail come up. Fleabag looks down as she speaks.
FLEABAG
(into phone)
Where the fuck are you? I’m at the fête and Pam is refusing to tell me anything…
Fleabag looks up to see Pam giving her a ferocious glare.
FLEABAG
(into phone)
Just call me back.
Fleabag gives the camera a look.
EXT. STREETS OF LONDON - LATER
Fleabag is marching through London. She gives us a look.
EXT. CLAIRE’S FLAT - DAY
Fleabag marches up the steps of an elegant house. She knocks urgently on the door.
CLAIRE (O.S.)
I’m coming. I’m coming!
The door opens to reveal Claire, who looks alarmed.
CLAIRE
What? Are you hurt?
FLEABAG
(slightly out of breath)
The Priest is missing.
Claire gives Fleabag an exhausted look.
INT. CLAIRE’S FLAT. KITCHEN - DAY
Claire and Fleabag are standing in Claire’s pristine kitchen. Claire is making tea.
CLAIRE
I didn’t think you still spoke to him.
FLEABAG
I don’t. He just comes to the café.
Claire gives her a look.
FLEABAG
I barely even see him.
Claire’s look intensifies.
FLEABAG
He comes by once or twice a week to pick up orders for his parishioners and to meet Joe.
CLAIRE
Ok…
FLEABAG
He didn’t show up.
CLAIRE
So you think he’s…
FLEABAG
Missing. Yes.
Beat.
Claire closes her eyes briefly.
CLAIRE
When did you last see him?
FLEABAG
Wednesday.
CLAIRE
You think he’s missing because you haven’t seen him in three days?
FLEABAG
That’s not all! He wasn’t at the church when I dropped off the order yesterday. He wasn’t at the church fête this morning, and he stood Joe up. He’d never stand Joe up.
CLAIRE
How do you know all of that?
FLEABAG CONT.
And his mobile’s been disconnected.
CLAIRE
Why do you have his number?
Beat.
FLEABAG
For café things.
Claire gives Fleabag a look. Fleabag gives her one right back.
Beat.
Claire pushes a mug of tea to Fleabag.
CLAIRE
(resigned)
You need to get a hobby.
FLEABAG
Well excuse me for not having a hot Finn to take me on holiday to Indonesia.
(to camera)
It was Malaysia.
CLAIRE
(irritated)
It was Malaysia!
Fleabag gives the camera a pleased look.
FLEABAG
It was a tropical vacation that you somehow managed not to enjoy at all. What is wrong with you?
Beat.
They sip their tea.
CLAIRE
Did you talk to Pam about this theory of yours.
Fleabag glances at the camera. She fiddles with her mug.
FLEABAG
She’s being… cagey.
Claire arches her eyebrows.
Beat.
Fleabag cringes as she speaks.
FLEABAG
She said she wasn’t concerned.
CLAIRE
Pam, the woman who shares a home with him and knows him better than anyone, is not concerned?
FLEABAG
She doesn’t live with him anymore. She lives with her son in Bethnal Green.
Claire stares at Fleabag.
Beat.
Fleabag looks at the camera.
FLEABAG
I know how this sounds, Claire…
CLAIRE
I doubt that.
FLEABAG
I really think something is wrong.
Claire takes a deep breath.
CLAIRE
Look, I know you’re upset-
FLEABAG
I’m not-
CLAIRE CONT.
But you need to let this man go. You’re obsessed. He’s probably just on vacation or something. It’s only been a couple of days.
FLEABAG
Claire, you don’t understand-
CLAIRE
I understand that you miss him. I understand that moving on is hard, but you must. It’s been two years.
(beat)
He has a life.
Fleabag is hurt. Beat. Claire reaches out and awkwardly pats Fleabag’s wrist.
CLAIRE
Try to distract yourself. Call that friend of yours, the one with all those benefits.
Fleabag nods and gives Claire a little smile.
EXT. STREETS OF LONDON - DAY
Fleabag has just left Claire’s flat. She’s deep in thought as she walks down the street. Maybe Claire is right… A rustling pulls Fleabag from her thoughts. A fox wanders out of a bush. It sniffs around as though it’s looking for something, then it looks at Fleabag. It blinks at her.
Fleabag looks at the camera.
END OF EPISODE 1