Archive of Our Own

5

“And then everything gets stored in the cloud. See? Simple.”

Atem nodded, scribbling down a few notes as Kaiba clicked through to their next lesson. Teaching the ancient pharaoh about modern technology was an interesting challenge, one Kaiba was ready to take head on. He’d gran any excuse to espouse endlessly about technology. Besides, he liked teaching. As a child, he’d said he wanted to be a teacher when he grew up. The desire to teach hadn’t lessened over the years, instead it warped into a desire to constantly show off how much he knew. 

“Let me see if I understand this,” Atem said softly, flipping back a page as he reread his notes. Or tried to read them, his handwriting was damn near indecipherable even to his own eyes. “This ‘cloud’ stores all of your. . . uh, files? Every bit of information is up in the cloud.”

“Yup,” Kaiba confirmed.

“How do they get down? Does it need to rain for you to obtain your data? How do you control what comes back down when it does rain? Or does everything come down and you need to sift through it to find your file? How do you even collect the data when it’s raining? Does it come back to the computer? No, it couldn’t, you told me computers can’t get wet. Oh, of course, there’s something in the roofing that collects it! 

Kaiba sat back in his chair just staring at his husband. He enjoyed teaching Atem about technology right up until he said things like that. It was so unhinged, he didn’t know how to respond to it. Atem took his silence to mean he was correct and he kept speaking with renewed vigor.

“But now my question is, and I know this might seem silly, bear with me. . . You must control when it rains so you can have access to your data whenever you want, correct? Of course you can, you’re Seto Kaiba, you can do anything. But how does the common man do that? Or do they? Can a common individual use clouds in this way? I didn’t even think about that, perhaps you can control these clouds because of your magic and your past! That must be it! Seto, you control clouds, you cannot deny your past any longer!” 

Atem just looked so happy over his faulty revelation, eyes blazing as if he finally understood life, the universe and everything. The way he was directing that stare at Kaiba, as though he could burn what he thought was the truth into his soul, was really rather endearing. 

Kaiba, for his part, was so befuddled that all he could think to say was, “You are so pretty.” 

“I’m gorgeous,” Atem answered with such conviction that Kaiba knew the backhanded insult had flown right over his head.

“You sure are,” Kaiba confirmed with a small chuckle. He turned back to his computer, shaking the mouse to wake it up. “Let’s keep going.” 

“Yes, let’s,” Atem grinned, scooting his chair a bit closer to Kaiba’s. “And don’t forget to feed the mouse when we’re done. It’s been working so hard during these lessons to move the pointer around, we should give it a feast.”

Yes, teaching Atem technology was a challenge. One that Kaiba was slowly realizing he was only sort of equipped to handle.

4

Atem was getting a bit homesick lately. The more he tried to write about his past for his manuscript, the worse the feeling got. While he enjoyed living in Japan, he missed his culture, the food, the smells, the fashion, the music! Sure, they were rich enough that Atem could fly out to Egypt whenever he wanted, but at that point he might as well stay out there. He wanted some of his culture in their home, but how?

The answer came one afternoon while hanging out with Yugi in the shop. He saw so many people with earbuds in listening to music. The ability to listen to specific music anytime anywhere was still a baffling concept, but now it would be just what he needed. He could listen to the music he once loved, maybe even try to recall some dances. 

He brought it up that evening with Kaiba while they were snuggled on the couch watching tv. Mokuba had turned them on to this particular show, telling them it was about dragons with lots of war, sex, and political intrigue. The production value was incredible and the story had Atem hooked, but Kaiba had been complaining there was too much intrigue and not enough dragons. Though they were only part of the way through season 1, Mokuba assured them there would be dragons eventually.

"Seto," Atem asked casually as the show switched back to yet another scene with the barbaric horse lords, "is there a way to find the music we used to listen to in Egypt?"

"I'm sure you can find it on Spotify, but I'm not even sure what it's called," Kaiba answered, his voice a bit distracted as he watched the show. "Try googling it. Man, Viserys is an asshole. He better get what's coming to him soon, trying to push Drogo around like that. Entitled prick."

Ah. Yes. Googling it would be a great idea. If he knew what that meant. He knew it had something to do with the phone, he'd heard the phrase enough times at the shop and then saw a bunch of people on their phones, but he didn't actually know what they were doing. Now, the way Kaiba so casually threw the term out made him feel like it was something he should already know and he was too proud to admit he didn't.

~*~

A full week went by before Atem had to admit defeat. He'd been watching everyone at the shop closely, trying to see if he'd get a hint of what 'googling' was, but he came up short. He could have asked Yugi, should have, but it felt like such a basic thing that he hated not knowing. It was fine, he could figure it out. Which is how he ended up on the couch at home staring at his phone like the answer was going to leap out of the box. That was how Kaiba found him when he came home.

"It's going to spontaneously combust if you keep glaring at it like that," Kaiba announced, making Atem jump and accidentally throw his phone a few feet away.

"Don't sneak up on me like that!" Atem snapped, turning that glare on his husband. "What are you doing home so early?"

"Early? It's six thirty, I'm late," Kaiba answered, looking at his watch to confirm what time it was. He'd been good about leaving the office at five with everyone else lately, but every once in a while the time got away from him. "How long have you been sitting there?" When Atem didn't answer, Kaiba sighed, set down his briefcase, and picked up the fallen phone. "What were you doing other than trying to make the phone blow up?"

"Could it have?!" Atem cried, jerking back from the phone when Kaiba tried to hand it to him. "I don't want a hand held bomb!"

"No, love, it's just an expression," Kaiba chuckled and sat down next to him. Atem folded himself into his side in a second and Kaiba let his arm drape around his shoulder. "Now tell me what you were trying to do."

Atem swallowed, both the lump in his throat and his pride, and answered, "I was trying to figure out what googling is."

"Oh." Kaiba showed him the phone while he tapped on the Google Chrome icon and brought up the internet. He hadn't thought that Atem didn't know what Google was. He'd assumed Marik, Ryou, and Mokuba had taught him at least the basics. "Here. That's Google. Type in whatever question you have or anything you want to search and hit go."

Atem carefully took the phone, still not sure it wasn't going to blow up, but started typing anyway. "How does it know?"

"How does what know what?" Kaiba asked, watching Atem type in way too long of a sentence. "No, no, not like that, you'll generate too many results. Try just 'genre of music in Ancient Egypt' and see what comes up."

"How does the Google know?" Atem asked as he typed in what Kaiba told him to and hit go. "It must be a well learned creature thousands of years old to know the answer to a question like that. Should we leave it an offering in thanks for the information? What kind of offering do you leave a Google? Oh! I know! I'll ask the Google what kind of offering it would like! That way we can get exactly the right thing and it will bless us with information."

Once again, Atem's words had thrown Kaiba completely off balance. As he watched Atem get frustrated not finding the answer to what offering Google would like, Kaiba once again found himself saying, "You're very pretty."

"We've established this already, I'm gorgeous," Atem grinned, then handed Kaiba his phone. "Help me! The Google is being petulant!"

"It's not. . . Oh boy." Kaiba settled into the couch. They were going to be there a while explaining or he was going to end up with a shrine to Google somewhere in the house.

3

"Seto, how long ago were The Star Wars?"

"1977," Kaiba answered automatically, but even as he said it he got the bad feeling that was not the question Atem asked. He set down his newspaper to look across the breakfast table at his rather perturbed husband and asked a question he knew he was going to regret. "Why?"

"No, I know that's when the films came out," Atem huffed, rolling his eyes. "I mean when did the events take place? When in history? When I ask The Google it's telling me a date of zero to four ABY, but I don't remember a year like that when Yugi was in history class. I tried asking The Google about it but it won't give me any more information than that ABY stands for After the Battle of Yavin. I suspect my latest offering was insufficient, I knew I shouldn't have listened to Joey when he told me to leave chips for it." 

There was so much to unpack and Kaiba did not have enough coffee in his system for that yet. All he could focus on was the last thing Atem said, so with an amused grin he asked, "What kind of chips?" 

"What?" Atem asked, cocking his head at the question.

Kaiba couldn't believe he was asking this question, but it was too amusing to listen to the twist and turns Atem's mind made. "What kind of chips did you leave on the shrine?"

"Oh. Joey said computer chips and when I asked him what flavor he said salt and vinegar," Atem answered so matter of factly that Kaiba was thrown once again. 

"Did he hesitate at all when you asked him what flavor?" Kaiba asked knowingly.

"He did!" Atem cried, as if he was just given the answer. "He told me the wrong flavor, didn't he? I should have asked you right from the beginning, you're so knowledgeable in this area, Seto."

" Oh, my love, you are. . . You are gorgeous," Kaiba breathed with an amused smile. He sat up straight and nodded. "Yes, he did tell you the wrong flavor. You should have used Lay's electric lime and sea salt."

"Of course! The Google thrives in the computers, naturally I'd need something electric to satisfy it. Why didn't I think of that?" Atem gave Kaiba a warm smile. "Thank you, my darling, I knew I could count on you."

Kaiba knew this was going to backfire very badly one of these days. For now, though, watching Atem attempt to navigate his way through technology was too entertaining. 

2

This show they were watching was getting stranger and stranger. Halfway through the season and no dragons had appeared yet, though everyone was making such a big fuss over the dragon eggs. And this pregnant queen! They were all going gaga over her and Atem just didn't see the appeal. Though the horse lord was tickling him in all the right places. Maybe he could convince Kaiba to grow out his hair and wear kohl. Gods above, he was getting hard just thinking about it. Kohl would make his eyes glow. Glowing eyes filled with passion while they fu–

Atem's boner died the instant he watched one of the actors get covered in molten gold. He couldn't stop his horrified scream of shock while Kaiba just laughed.

"Turn this off right now!" Atem demanded, shielding his eyes from the television. "Now, Seto! This is horrifying!"

"Yeah that was pretty gruesome," Kaiba grinned as he paused the show. He looked down at Atem, who looked like he was about to cry. "What's wrong? I thought you didn't like Viserys. Why are you crying over his death?"

"Because that was horrible!" Atem snapped, scrubbing the tears from his eyes. "How can you be smiling over this?! That was a horrible way to die!"

"It's no less than he deserved," Kaiba laughed.

"How can you say that?!" Atem cried, sitting up straighter on the couch and pulling away from Kaiba. "Oh I know. How could I forget how much you enjoyed torturing prisoners. Of course you would enjoy watching a death like that! I should have known!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Kaiba reeled back, throwing his hands up in surrender. He didn't like being accused of things High Priest Seto did, particularly when it had to do with his handling of prisoners. He wasn't sure what this sudden hostility was about either. "What is happening right now?"

"We just watched an actor get brutally murdered and you're laughing! That's what's going on!" Atem barked, glaring at his husband for all he was worth. "I can't believe you!"

"Wait." Kaiba took a breath. Atem couldn't mean what Kaiba thought he meant. "Atem. My love. Light of my life. My morning and evening star. Do you think they actually killed the actor? "

"They had to have! And it's terrible that it's allowed in the industry! He looked so young! To be put through that misery and for what?!" Atem couldn't hold it in any more. He threw himself into Kaiba's chest and started heaving sobs. "Seto you have to do something about this! Please!"

This was too many times in the last few weeks that Atem's complete misunderstanding of modern life left Kaiba off balance. Still, he was crying, and Kaiba wrapped his arms around him and gently stroked his back. This had to stop. Atem couldn't keep going on with these gross misunderstandings.

"My darling, will you do me a favor and google Harry Lloyd for me?" Kaiba asked gently.

"No! I can't!" Atem bellowed through his sobs. "I still haven't figured out the right offerings and The Google has been very angry at me!"

"Gods above, you're beautiful, really, just stunning," Kaiba muttered while he cast his eyes to the ceiling and silently prayed for strength. He pulled out his phone with one hand and started typing. "Here, I'll do it. See? Harry Lloyd, the actor who played Vizerys, is not dead. They did not kill him for this part. They don't kill any actors for any part. Not ever. I promise."

Atem sniffed, glancing at the information on the phone and then up at his husband. "You promise?"

"I promise," Kaiba confirmed with a small nod. "Everyone is alive and well."

Atem nodded slowly as he settled into Kaiba's side. After a few more sniffs, Kaiba leaned down to kiss away the tears on his cheeks. This was getting to be too much. Kaiba wasn't sure how much more of this he could handle. He knew Atem was smarter than this, but the lack of basic knowledge was starting to drive him up a tree.

1

"SETO KAIBA!"

Kaiba froze halfway through the door of Kame Games. He'd had a rough morning and was looking forward to his planned lunch with Atem, though if he had he way they wouldn't be doing much eating. But getting his full name screamed from said husband before he was even in the door was not an auspicious start. So he backed out, closed the door, took a breath, and walked back in. Atem was at the counter with Yugi and Joey, looking downright aggravated and ready to fight.

"What's the matter?" Kaiba asked, trying to keep his tone even.

"You didn't tell me about the plight of the File Wizard!" Atem cried, pointing an accusatory finger at Kaiba.

"The what? " Kaiba was just about at his limit. If he was about to hear any more stupidity out of his husband's mouth, he was going to snap. He looked at Yugi, exhausted, and asked, "What have you been telling him?"

"He asked about file storage," Joey grinned, and Kaiba felt his heart sink. "He asked how people store files if not in the cloud. So we told him all about how hard drives work."

"We tried to explain to him by showing him how things work on the file wizard and things kinda got out of hand," Yugi admitted sheepishly. "We were hoping you'd be able to set him straight."

"He thinks files come out of actual clouds when it rains, you see how well I was able to set him straight," Kaiba sighed. This was going to be good. "What is the plight of the File Wizards, Atem?"

"As if you don't know!" Atem huffed, squaring up for an argument. "The File Wizards are trapped in the computers, tasked with fetching files from the library of the hard drive! They're overworked and suffering in their confinement and something must be done!"

"Like unionizing!" Joey offered with a sly smirk. He knew exactly what he was doing and Kaiba was going to kick his ass for it.

"Like unionizing!" Atem agreed, his eyes blazing with fire once again. "The Guild of the File Wizards will be strong! I'll make sure of it! I'll fight for their right to proper working conditions!"

Still exhausted, Kaiba looked to Yugi for an explanation.

"The computer froze for a second while we were trying to find something," Yugi explained with a sigh. "This was what he came up with."

"Oh, my love," Kaiba sighed, giving Atem a sympathetic smile as he took both of his hands. Once again, Kaiba was thrown by the overactive imagination of his husband.  "You are. . . so pretty." 

"KAIBA!" Yugi and Joey both snapped in unison. 

Oh. Had he said that out loud? Busted. Kaiba looked between the two and knew he was in for a lecture. Atem might not have known what he was saying, but these two certainly did. After the morning he had, Kaiba was at the end of his rope. If they started berating him there was no guarantee he was going to keep his cool. He might start yelling and break his promise to Atem. He might not care for the feelings of Yugi and his nerd herd, but he did care about not going back on his word. 

Thankfully he didn't have to come up with an excuse. His phone started ringing and he saw on his watch it was from R&D.

"I have to take this," Kaiba said quickly as he fished out his phone. "I'll probably have to go back to the office so let's do lunch tomorrow instead." 

He gave Atem a quick kiss on the cheek before he made a hasty retreat from the shop. Once he was gone, Yugi and Joey rounded on Atem.

"Atem!" Yugi cried, looking positively scandalized. "I can't believe you let him talk to you like that!"

"Like what?" Atem asked, cocking his head in confusion. "Complimenting me? He does it all the time. Oh, I know, you're confused because you've never heard him say kind things to another human being before. That's fine, I understand, I get to see a vulnerable side of him that no one else does. One of the many perks of being married. It's quite–"

"He called you stupid!" 

"He what?!"

"When he called you pretty like that," Joey explained, rather miffed by the whole ordeal. "What he was actually saying was 'it's a good thing you're pretty because you're not smart.' I know Kaiba likes to act like he's the smartest person in the room but I never thought he'd talk to you like that."

"That was pretty surprising that you let him," Yugi added, concern etched onto his face. "Are you okay at home? He's not. . . I mean. . . He's. . . Is he?"

"He called me stupid?" Atem asked, letting his hands drop uselessly to his side. He thought back to all the times in the last few weeks Kaiba had complimented him and felt like his world was caving in. All the times he thought his husband was being sweet he'd actually been insulting him? "Yugi. . . Joey. . . Can you help me?"

"Of course!" Joey grinned, giving Atem a thumbs up. "That's what we're here for, pal!" 

"Thank you," Atem said with a smile. Then to himself he grumbled, "Seto is lucky he's cute."

Bonus

The Seto Kaiba was not a coward. He never shied away from a challenge, nor did he back down from confrontation. He faced everything head on with all the bravado that he was so well known for.

No, he was not a coward. He was definitely not avoiding going home. And he wasn't worried about a confrontation with his husband. He was just stuck in the office working on this project because his staff was clearly too incompetent to handle it and he had to do everything himself. This wasn't abnormal. Despite the fact he'd been making an effort to be home at a decent time and rest, every once in a while he'd get absorbed in a project that would take all of his time and energy to complete. Those were the days he wouldn't sleep, or take power naps at his desk to get something done. Getting home late or not coming home at all wasn't unusual. So why did he feel like the moment he made the decision to work in the office all night that he'd lost?

Well. He couldn't have that. Kaiba got home around midnight, well after when Atem was usually in bed and dead to the world asleep. His sweet husband was a morning person, an early bird who accused Kaiba of being a night owl. Kaiba wasn't a night owl or an early bird. He was more some form of permanently exhausted pigeon. An exhausted pigeon who wanted to crawl into bed and snuggle with his husband and get some well deserved rest.

But there was no husband in bed when he got home. Even still, Kaiba pulled the covers back just to confirm that he wasn't there. Then he looked under the bed, in the closet, in the bathtub. No Atem. A quick look at the security cameras confirmed Atem was nowhere in the manor. Kaiba had no texts, missed calls, or voicemails. No doubt Joey and Yugi explained what 'you're pretty' meant after he left. Damn, maybe Atem really was angry at him. That would serve him right.

For the first time since they were married, Kaiba slept in their bed alone.

~*~

For someone who prided themselves on never relying on anyone for anything, Kaiba was pretty miserable after waking up alone. He'd gotten used to having his spitfire husband around, it felt weird to be in the manor alone. Even still, he wasn't about to grovel or bed for Atem to come home. That would be undignified. 

But they did have a lunch date. So perhaps they could talk.

Kame Games was busy when Kaiba stopped by at lunch. That was an odd time to be busy. They'd put tables out all around the outside of the shop and people were milling around, watching people competing all around the tables. Not duel monsters, though, they were playing chess. Oh shit. Kaiba was trapped and he knew it. But he'd been spotted by Yugi, he couldn't leave now. He didn't have to act grumpy, he was, and scowled his entire way up to the counter they'd placed outside.

"Is Atem here?" Kaiba growled.

"He's over there," Yugi grinned, pointing to the table with the most people crowded around it. Kaiba couldn't just barely make out Atem's spiky hair above the heads of the crowd. "You're in trouble, by the way." 

Kaiba scoffed. Yeah, no shit. "What's going on here?"

"We're holding a chess tournament," Yugi grinned, smirking when he saw Kaiba stiffen. "Care to join? I'm sure you'll make quick work of the competition, Mr Chess Grandmaster."

"I don't have to prove myself to a bunch of wimps who've never seen a chess board in their lives," Kaiba sneered, glaring at the crowd. 

"Oh, they're not just randos off the street, Kaiba," Yugi chuckled. "This is a sanctioned regional match. Everyone here is a Candidate Master or better. Atem is–"

"No way!" The shout of someone in the massive crowd pulled Kaiba's attention. It looked like it was Atem's opponent, who was now standing and glaring at the former Pharaoh. Kaiba recognized him, that was Izumi, Kaiba had played against him in several tournaments. He was an International Master and just a step or two away from the title of Grandmaster. Not an easy person to beat. "There's no way this nobody beat me!"

Kaiba didn't need to push his way to the front of the crowd, they parted like the Red Sea when they felt his glare. A glance at the board and Kaiba started laughing. It had been a decisive victory. The number of pieces that Izumi had lost was ridiculous compared to how many Atem had left on the board. 

"You're losing your touch, Izumi," Kaiba sneered, looking down his nose at the other man. "Losing to an amature at your level is pathetic."

"He's not an amature, he's a monster!" Izumi shouted, pointing at Atem and glaring. Atem was just amused, sitting back casually with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face. "I'd like to see you do better, Kaiba!"

"Fine then, I will. Move so I can take a seat."

When Kaiba sat down, Atem looked like the cat that got the cream. This was exactly what he'd wanted and Kaiba had fallen for it, hook line and sinker. As they were resetting the board, Kaiba noticed Atem was wearing a top with a ton of body cut outs, showing off just enough skin to be sinful without being distasteful but still distracting.

"That's cheating, you know," Kaiba grumbled, pointedly looking at Atem's shirt.

"Clothing isn't cheating," Atem grinned. "You're white. You go first."

The game began. Kaiba learned quickly that Atem was much better than he'd anticipated. Of course he was, he was a game master, but he didn't think chess was in Atem's repertoire. Kaiba found himself actually having to try while also making a point to not look at exactly how tempting his husband was. 

"You're not bad," Kaiba muttered as he captured one of Atem's rooks with his bishop. 

"Not bad for being 'so very pretty', huh?" Atem growled, Shooting a glare at Kaiba that hit him right between the eyes. "Just because I don't understand modern technology doesn't mean I'm stupid, Seto. My strengths lie elsewhere and you know it. You let me walk around believing my nonsense for weeks. I feel like a moron, exactly as you've been calling me. Why didn't you try to correct me?"

"You told me you thought the computer mouse was a living mouse and that files came down from the clouds when it rained. Forgive me for not knowing how to respond to that," Kaiba huffed. He leveled his own glare at his husband. Sparks flew across the table. "I tried to correct you, you didn't listen. You stubbornly held on to your magical explanations and there was nothing I could do to change your mind. What did you expect me to do?!"

"Not call me stupid!" Atem snapped. In his anger, he made a reckless move with a knight. "Here I thought you were complimenting me all this time, but you were insulting me. I'm hurt, Seto."

"I know," Kaiba grumbled, capturing his knight with his queen. "Forgive me, love. I'm still getting used to us, to not lashing out at any given second. I'm trying."

"I know you are," Atem grinned, capturing Kaiba's queen with a pawn. He held it up with a flash of victory in his eyes. "That doesn't mean I'm not going to call you out on bad behavior. You're just lucky you're cute. Checkmate."

Kaiba looked down at the board. He'd been distracted by their conversation and Atem had indeed put him in checkmate. He gave a soft snort and crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair. Atem looked rather satisfied with himself. The crowd was shocked, but Kaiba could barely hear them. The world has narrowed to just him, hia husband, and their game. Kaiba nodded and knocked over his king. 

"You are beautiful," Kaiba said with such sincerity that Atem almost dropped the queen. " And brilliant. Well played."

"Rematch?" Atem asked, a bright smile coming to his face. 

"No time, I made a lunch reservation for us and we're going to be late," Kaiba said as he stood, offering Atem his hand. "Ready to go?"

"Do you know him?!" Izumi cried as Atem took Kaiba's hand. 

"Of course I do, he's my husband," Kaiba grinned proudly as Atem hooked his arm around his. Now that he was standing, he noticed Atem was wearing tight jeans with a menagerie of tears and holes that teased shapely legs and the whole back was cut out of his top. No wonder all these chess jerks couldn't believe Atem could beat them. He looked stunning. "Any more stupid questions, Izumi?"

They left everyone to their shocked whispers. Atem gave Yugi a wink as they climbed into the car. That had gone perfectly. And by the looks Kaiba was giving him, it was about to get even better. Atem was glad that had eaten something before Kaiba showed up because he had a feeling they were going to miss their lunch reservation.