Chapter Text
Joan remembered the feeling of her heart falling to her stomach, the feeling of having multiple eyes burn through her head, she's memorized this moment crystal clear. Her face was scorching and red and she wanted to disappear from the face of the earth. The frigid room seemed to be boiling hot as she lay there frozen, blankets pulled up to her pale, bare chest. It seems as if JFK didn't mind being caught, he was relaxed and laid back, like he didn't just blow her back out and get caught by the whole high school. She felt like she had betrayed everyone, even one of her enemies, Cleo. The feeling of guilt dug through her body, remembering everyone’s facial expressions as they saw her half naked with the popular himbo. Soon after prom, Joan left early without a trace, her eyes bloodshot and swollen from crying so much. She didn't know whether to date JFK or not, to drop out of high school to escape the embarassment, or try to return to her normal life.
She threw away her prom dress and heels, in hope of letting everything slip that had occurred that night. Going to school the next day was rough, a storm of whispers and gossip was spread around her as she traversed the long corridors. A swirl of nausea and anxiety filled her body as she walked in her first-period class. She sat in the back of the classroom and put her head down on the cool desk, ignoring the loud voices around her talking about JFK and her love situation.
"Who would have known Joan would have sex with JFK?"
"He has a thing for picking up girls and ruining their lives, I almost feel.. bad."
"Joan and JFK huh, I knew I should have gone to prom!" She sighed deeply, looking out the window next to her, and covered her ears. She felt a chair scrape against the cold floor next to her, figuring out it was Cleo. She already had to deal with her this morning considering she still lives with her due to her house burning down a while back. She was awfully quiet, in a way she missed her rude remarks but she could not find herself to say anything. Cleo glanced over at her, watching her fix her dark eyeliner and her soft silky hair.
"So you think it was okay to hook up with my ex?" Cleo spoke, rubbing her lips together and applying more red lipstick. “I was drunk,” Joan replied, knowing damn well she was fully sober, the night was just filled with bad decision-making. “Okay well, you might want to sleep with one eye open, I might gut you out in your sleep, Of Arc.” She gave Joan a shit-eating grin before returning to her daily makeup routine."Also, you suck at lying." Joan ignored her and returned to her people-watching. A loud agonizing ring roared through her ears, signaling that classes were going to begin. The class quieted down as Mr. Sheepman started his lecture on getting focused on final exams. Joan kept her head down, maybe this wasn’t the worst of what could conspire from the night before. She could handle people talking shit about her.
She heard a loud ding from her phone and she opened it reluctantly, Email from paul_reveer3? She opened the email and felt tears prick at her eyes once again. The attachment connected to the message was a picture of her and JFK in bed, and it was sent to the whole school. Her heart threatened to jump out of her chest as she turned off her phone, hearing other people’s phone’s going off inside of the classroom. Her vision slowly began disfigured as familiar voices rushed through her ears, hearing unnerving giggles.
“Oh my..”
“Wow, so the rumors are true.”
The acquainted feeling of having everyones eyes on her made her sick. The room felt stuffy as her body went numb, and the laughing around her increasingly got louder, she clutched at her red hair and took in a couple staggered breaths. She shot up quickly and rushed out of the room, ignoring the teacher’s attempting to call her back into class. She ran mindlessly, unknowingly to where she was going to go, she had no one to turn back to, even Abe ignored her in the hallways. Hell, it seemed JFK moved on despite feeling like she had a real connection between each other. She slammed open a bathroom stall, pulling a cigarette out of her bra and fought the shakiness her hands had. Joan frantically flicked the small lighter, the flame going out every time. Damn it Joan, get yourself together. When the cigarette finally lit, she inhaled deeply, regretting it soon after. She coughed harshly, leaning on the bathroom stall to keep herself from fainting
“What the hell am I gonna do..” She wept, curling into a ball, breathing raggedly as she felt bile sit in the back of her throat. She felt sticky and her mouth went dry, taking another hit from her cigarette. I’m the joke of the school, I might as well kill myself. I hate this. She sobbed harshly into her hands, unable to hear the door opening to the restroom.
“Joan?” It was a masculine voice with a thick boston accent. She looked underneath the stall and remembered the same pair of shoes and khakis. She covered her mouth, trying to hold in her sobs, hiccuping uncontrollably from crying. “I er, know its you, saw ya run in here. Cmon Joanie, open up..”
“Get out!! You’re not even supposed to be in here!” Joan’s voice cracked, as she inhaled, putting the cigarette to her mouth. She blew the smoke in front of her, closing her eyes, hoping that he would get the hint.
“Listen I just wanna talk about er, last night.”
“There’s nothing to talk about, my life is fucked over and all people see me as a slut.” Joan brushed her hair with her fingers, twirling it.
“I know, there’s uh, nothing I can do to fix this, but er, lemme take ya on a date, I’ll pay for everything.” JFK, adjusted the collar of his shirt nervously, looking at Joan’s combat boots from the bottom of the pink stall. “I won't leave ya alone till you let me try to fix some of this.” He crossed his arms across his broad chest, leaning against the tile of the restroom wall.
“If it’ll make you leave me alone. Sure.” Joan pushed open the stall, looking up at JFK and quickly brushed passed him to fix herself up in the mirror.
“Ya know, smoking is bad for you..”
“Shut it Kennedy.” She washed off the smudged mascara from her face, her eyes were puffy and red. Jfk approached her from behind, placing his large hand on her shoulder. “Don’t touch me.” He flinched, pulling away. Joan observed his facial expression in the mirror. In a way he looked like he had pitied her, he hadn’t made a dirty joke the whole time they’ve talked. His eyes were droopy as always and she remembered something she missed. His cute brown freckles that were sprawled across his face, that reached all the way down to his lower back. A piece of her was still left with him, and she hated it.
“After school meet me at my house. It’ll be discreet.” Jfk looked down at the smaller girl, eyes locking with her dark brown eyes. Joan just nodded and walked out of the restroom, shivering from the conversation she just had. Do I love him? No he’s only using me for sex, Abe mentioned this before, I should trust him.