Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

This was not how dib excepted his morning to go.

He had expected he would fall asleep in the wee hours of the morning. Only after fruitlessly trying to get to bed at an respectable hour the night before.

But no, he was now in some sort of ..cage? Laser cage? In a space ship! AN ACTUAL FUCKING SPACESHIP!!

If he wasn't so tired and confused; dib would be jumping with glee. Instead he wanted to sit down and maybe have a nap so he could process all this.

One moment he was In his bed, next he was being beamed up (?) By a pink light and boom cage.

He sighed, not much else to do but look around.

He couldn't see any windows which sucked, he wanted to see space. What he could see was a lot of wires and tubes connecting to things.

And a lot of pinks, different shades too.

Once dib got bored looking at all the wires and tubes. He came to the conclusion that he was in some sort of storage space.

He could see metal crates, bags? Just random things piled high and thrown around.

Great. The most boring place to be for an abduction.

Dib sighed and leaned on the cage. Surprised that the laser (?) Felt nothing more then just bars.

They even felt a bit warm. Which didn't help his sleep deprived brain. Because soon he was falling asleep, eyes heavy and head full of cotton.

So when he was awoken by a massive jolt he was not prepared and ended up falling face first into the laser bars.

"Ugg owww".

Dib then heard a loud crackle, a laugh so loud it made him wince.

"HAHAHAHAHA, WHAT A PATHETIC CREATURE! LOOK AT YOU".

dib felt his ears burning, what the hell! How was he supposed to deal with this!

He grumbled and yelled back "FUNNY COMING FROM A COWERED LIKE YOU! TAKING ME WHILE I WAS SLEEPING. WHAT YOU SCARED I'LL FIGHT BACK AND WIN!".

YUp because picking a fight with an alien was the smart thing to do.

Well it did something alright because suddenly dib's cage was being elevated up on some platform. A space above him opened up as the platform kept rising, sending the cage and himself up.

The change of light was blinding. It has been dark in the storage unit. So dib was not ready for the harsh lights of what he believed was the top deck.

"HOW DARE YOU!!! HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE MIGHTY IRKEN INVADER!".

Dib however was to busy looking around to care for the loud voice. In fact he was to flabbergasted at what he saw.

Space…. actual real space!!!

Windows wrapped around the room, showing off the outside; And outside? Nothing but pure space.

Dib could only stare in aww, his eyes wide and sparkling. This had to be a dream! He really hoped it wasn't. He had longed to see space, to be up in it, to explore it.

It was vast, with sparkling stars and colors he couldn't discribe. Just the thought of how infinite it was made him shake with excitement.

"....hahaha I see your shaking with fear! THE MIGHTY ZIM IS ONE TO FEAR!!".

Dib was brought back to reality by the screams of his captor.

"Zim??? Is that your name…wait you speak English??".

The creature stopped laughing, dib tried to pin point where the sound was coming from but it was hard to find.

"Eh?! HOW DO YOU KNOW THE MIGHTY ZIM'S NAME!!! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A DIRT MONKEY!".

dib's brain went full stop. It was like he had mentally face palmed himself.

"I….what?!??? You just said your name!!! You just told me!!! Are you stupid!!!".

"ZIM IS NOT STUPID!!! YOU ARE!! YOU ARE USING MIND GAMES TO GET TO ME AND I WON'T ALLOW IT!!".

Dib gave an amused huff, maybe he wasn't in danger after all. This alien seemed stupid.

"Haha you think I am funny!!! Well prepare yourself for doom!!!!".

Suddenly the lasers of the cage went down and out of nowhere metal tentacles shot out from the walls of the ship. They grabbed dibs arms and legs. Stretching him far enough he was off the ground.

Oh this was…not good. He had seen enough SciFi movies to know where this was going.

His attention was snapped back to reality when he heard the sounds of clicking foot steps coming closer.

He was about to meet his abductor. He steeled himself, ready to see some sort of horrible space demon or love craftian horror alien.

Two pink eyes glowed as the creature emerged from the darkness.

It's skin was green, two antenna laid on it's head, raised to the sky. It was wearing some sort of pink tunic, with black tights and shiny black boots with pointer tips. There seemed to be something glowing on his back too.

The creature laughed "fear the mighty zim!!! For your doom is upon you!! And …HEY! YOU ARE LAUGHING!!".

And it was true. Dib was laughing because…..well he was so short!!!! Tiny! Like a child he must have been only 5ft maybe shorter.

"Oh my god! Your adorable! You look like a bug! And ant! Your so tiny!".

Zim's face turned a dark purple in anger and embarrassment but dib kept going.

"Oh my god this is amazing. Your so small!".

Zim hissed and soon a shing sound was head.

Dib really didn't have time to react as zim was now actually higher then him. Something metal and shark pointed right at his neck.

Zim was now balancing on what looked to be sharp metal legs. The tips looking like they could stab into anything. One of them was currently at dibs throat.

"YOU FIND ZIM FUNNY NOW!!! I WILL RIP YOUR TONGUE OUT AND CUT YOU OPEN. I WILL PLAY WITH YOUR DISGUSTING ORGANS AS YOU WATCH".

Dib felt his mouth go dry as he opened and closed it.

Suddenly he felt a warmth pool in his stomach and…..oh god no. Not now. Not now! He was literally going to be stabbed and now!!!

His face flushed red. Ok yes he had….tastes. weird weird tastes but now!

Zim smiled "haha! Speechless in fear! Your face is red and trembling! Zim has won!".

Dib squirmed which didn't help his situation at all. The arms just held tighter which only made it worse. Paired with the fact he was only in his pj's he couldn't really hide anything.

He closed his eyes, wishing it to be over as fast as he could. Maybe if he died now he would be spared the embarrassment.

"IS THAT A WEAPON YOU HAVE!! I THOUGHT I HAD THE COMPUTER SCAN YOU FOR ANY TOOLS!".

Dib was confused, opening his eyes he looked at the alien. "weapon??" He thought. He was in his pj's, he didn't have anything!!.

"COMPUTER!!! SCAN HIM AGAIN! WHAT DOES IT SAY!".

Suddenly a very monotone voice came over the speakers.

"He doesn't have any weapons master. I told you this already" it sighed.

Could computers sigh??? This really was some SciFi bullshit.

"LIES!! THEN WHAT IS THIS!!". zim harshly gestured to dib's pants and the current problem.

Dib went pale. He was mortified at what he now realized what was happening.

"Oh my god" he mumbled.

"That's not a weapon master"

"THEN WHAT IS IT!!! TELL ME!!! TELL ME!!".

The computer gave a small cough (wait it can cough now??). "It's …part of its…autonomy".

Zim was confused now, it was a part of it???

"So it could be a weapon!! An organic one! Engenius! Trying to fool zim! Well I won't have it! I'll make sure you can't use it!".

If the computer could it would be rolling it's eyes "sure, you know what I'll leave you to deal with the "weapon" have fun".

With that dib heard a click and all was silent.

"Humf! Stupid computer! Who is the great invader here! Me! What does it know".

He turned to dib "now to take care of you".

Dib went red, oh god no. This was not happening.

"Please! Don't ummm..it's a bomb!! Or a laser! A laser bomb!! Touch it and I'll explode into lasers!".

Zim halted his steps and looked to dib with a face of confusion.

"You lie! I have researched your kind! Humans! You are all meat and fluids. You can't explode!". But his voice wavered a bit.

"Ummm well have you every seen a human up close. We have lots of surprises!".

Zim gave it some thought, making dib give a sigh if relief. But it was short lived.

"Heh? Zim will deal with it if it comes to it. I have the best equipment!".

Dib was now struggling and trying to kick his legs free. But it really didn't help, only made him tired and look more like a fool.

Zim smirked at his victory and grabbed the edge of the humans pants and yanked. Ready to confiscate the weapon he had managed to hide.

Dib went beat red. He was in full shock and just…stopped everything. It suddenly got very very quite and he could hear his own breathing.

"Heh! What is this?? It's attached to you??? Does it spit acid! Can you control it! What is it! Huh! Huh!".

Dib wasn't paying attention now. His ears ringing.

He had successfully held back a moan when his cock was freed from his pants but the cold air wasn't helping him go down any time soon.

Dib desperately tried to think of something unsexy. His teacher Mrs bitters!, That horrible pig mascot at bloaties, anything!!

Zim fed up with getting no reaction grabbed the offending object. It was surprisingly hot in his hand,hard but soft. It even moved a bit.

And with that dib couldn't hold himself back any longer.

"Ahhh~ahhh" he groaned out.

Zim suddenly let of his cock and jerked back. Thinking the human had been right, he was going to fire something off.

However nothing happened. And he huffed. He felt angry at how foolish he was for being scared.

He looked up at the human and was taken back by his appearance.

When the human had been flailing around his face had been red. But not like this.

His neck was flushed red, cheeks too, in fact the red spread all across his upper face. He was panting softly too.

It was….not a bad sight.

Zim's antenna suddenly twitched at a scent it caught.

It was…strange. Nothing like he had ever smelt before. It wasn't bad, a bit pleasant even. It was like a musk, mixed with dirt, something sweet and salty.

And it was coming from the human.

Zim moved closer again, the human giving off a small whine.

Zim tilted his head and looked at the human's appendage. It seemed to hwv started with this thing. Maybe it wasn't a weapon??

Dib wasn't doing well. He blamed the fact he was pent up from all the time spent investigating.

He had no time for things like hookups!

It was also probably the binding…..ok really it was everything.

This was a fantasy right out of his dreams and Dib was not strong enough to shake this off.

Even more so now that the alien ("zim") his muddled brain reminded him; had gone back to attending to his member.

Dib let out a low whine as zim once again started to touch it.

Even with a gloved hand it felt so good. Zim's touch was cool and smooth, and everything was so sensitive.

Meanwhile Zim found this all entertaining. He liked the way the human made sounds when he touched him differently; going faster or slower.

It was still research! He was doing an experiment after all!

He was a bit surprised to see the human had started to move along with his hand. Slowly thrusting himself in time with Zim's touches.

When zim gave a pretty rough squeeze the human out of a guttural yell.

Zim was a bit worried he might explode so he once again pulled away. Only to be met with a whine and a soft "please".

Zim tilted his head at the request "what filthy human??".

Dib's face was red, sweat dripping from his brow. He couldn't look up right now or he might die of embarrassment.

"Please…keep…going I need-I need" dib panted.

Zim was confused now, was this how he activated the weapon??

"And why should the mighty zim do that? In fact! Zim think he's had enough and will go off to prepare to cut you open. See your squishy insides"

Poor dib groaned at the thought, his cock twitching even more.

He swallowed his pride, he might die here, might as well get off before he did.

He looked up, his honey golden eyes glazed over with pleasure.

"Please, zim…I need you. Please just…please".

Zim felt a shiver go through him. The creature was begging him now, and that look. His spooch was beginning to feel warm and fuzzy, a sort of tingling.

".....zim supposes he can…continue. But only because I need to see what happens".

He brought his gloved hand back on the Hardened cock and began to move it.

Dib threw his head back and gasped at the grip. "Oh fuck, please! Just, mmmf. Move your hand *pant* up and down. Stroke" he managed to get out.

Zim hated being told what to do, but the begging again had him feeling good about it.

Zim's hand began to glide up and down dib's cock. Moving faster with each stroke.

Dib was losing his mind. He was being jacked off by an alien in space. God this couldn't be real. He was going to wake up in bed and need a cold shower after.

Zim was getting more and more into the task. Trying different angles even!

His hand touched the tip, which had become a nice shade of red. When it did the human gave out a and bucked his hips up.

Was it hurting it?? Well who cared! This is what the human gets for laughing at zim.

A bit of drool escaped dib's mouth. He didn't think he would last any longer.

He was about to blow his load on a space ship in space. Getting to see the stars and all its glory up close and personal. Being held down by an alien who may or may not open him up after.

If he survived this he was definitely going to have material to work with later.

Zim meanwhile was a bit upset the human was now looking elsewhere. What was so important outside? Nothing. Space and stars. Not as important as zim!

"Human slave!! Pay attention to your master".

With that he grabbed dibs cock again rather harshly and tugged.

The finale straw for dib.

He let out a wail of pleasure as he peaked. Yelling out the aliens name as he came.

"AHHH~ ZIM! MMMM AHHH".

Zim was absolutely not ready for what happened next.

The screen alone made him jerk his hand back thought he was still holding on.

Oh…oh he liked how the human screamed his name like that. Very very much.

Not really knowing what was going on zim watched as a spurt of white liquid, not runny like juice but not thick as tar came flying out.

It got all over Zim's gloved hand but also some on his face.

The reaction was immediate. Zim let loose a scream that could shatter glass.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!".

He tumbled back, throwing the glove off his hand as fast as he could. He grabbed at his face wiping the horrible substance off.

"COMPUTER!!!! COMPUTER!! I HAVE BEEN ATTACKED WITH ACID! SOMETHING! GET THE CLEANSING CHALK!!!".

As zim shrieked and ran around dib was coming to.

The pleasure has been blinding. He saw white and spots in the corner of his eyes. He was pretty sure he might have blacked out a bit.

He was panting hard as he caught his breath, still feeling the tingles of the after glow.

So of course post nut clarity hit him full in the chest.

"Oh god…what the fuck" he breathlessly whimpered.

That has been the best orgasm of his life. And that worried the hell out of him.

He was trapped and going to die and he just got off on having an alien rub him out. Fuck, gaz was right. He was a sick freak.

He looked back across the room to find zim who was now rubbing himself with some sort of white bar? It looked dusty.

Dib bit his tongue, should be speak? It wasn't like he could escape.

"Ummm….zim? Can I…what are you doing".

The alien whipped his head around so fast dib thought he would get whiplash.

"YOU!!!! FILTHY!! BEAST!!!".

He marched over to dib and pointed a now bare finger in his face.

"WHAT DID YOU SHOOT AT ZIM! WHAT HORRIBLE CHEMICALS DID YOU INFECT ME WITH! ACID? MIND CONTROL!!! TELL ZIM! TELL ME!".

Dib wasn't paying attention though. He was too focused on the green hand in his face.

"I bet that would feel nice" he pondered.

His stomach dhd a flip when he realized what he was thinking.

Oh fuck no! He was not about to get hard again.

"It's….it's but acid…it's ummm…well". Dib wasn't sure how to explain it right.

Suddenly the same voice that dib has heard zim call computer came back.

"It's called semen, it's a substance that the males of his species can produce when they are sexually stimulated. It's meant for reproduction".

Zim's eyes went wide as dinner plates at the information.

Dib could only stare in absolute embarrassment as his ears turned to a nice cherry red.

The silence was deafening. Dib was sure he could hear space itself as zim just stared at him.

"Zim? Can you-".

Dib didn't get to finish that sentence or even thought as the loudest scream he had every heard rocked the ship.

It sounded like something right out of a horror game.

Suddenly he wasn't being held up anymore as well. The metal claws that had held him vanished just as fast as they came. Causing him to fall gracefully on the ground.

Of course the first thing he did was jump up and try to run, but forgetting the events of what happened a few minutes ago caused him to fall flat on his face. His pants around his ankles still.

Dib groaned and was glad the alien was busy having a freak out to notice dibs rather embarassing fall.

Dib fixed himself and stood up. His hands went to his ears as he looked around for a way out.

"Ummm I'm just….I'm just going to…leave now".

Dib turned around, where the hell would he leave to?! He hadn't thought this through huh?.

Suddenly the door opened behind him. And the same claws that held him sort of waved him over.

Not really having a choice he ran towards the door, so so happy when it closed it drowned out the noise of the now screaming alien.

"My master is most likely going to be indisposed for a while. And while I just love having company. I think I'm going to make an executive decision and send you back".

"Oh? Well that's really nice of you. But how? I don't se-!!!!!".

Dib was really getting sick of being interrupted as two claws grabbed him and flung him over to what looked like one of those pod launchers at a water park.

Though it was a lot more advanced.

Dib looked up to see a sort of…lamp? It was blue with three lights. It swirled around for a while before starting to brighten.

"I can see your brain trying to figure out what's going on. It's a matter displacement machine"

"A WHAT??!?".

The computer sighed "matter displacement, but I suppose your kind calls them teleportation Machines. It will break your matter up into small bits and aim it at a direction. Normally that direction is another machine so your matter is safely transported. But since your planet has no such thing it's a gamble I'm willing to take. You might lose an arm or a leg….maybe an organ".

"Oh god wait!! Hold on!! I think I'll take being cut up over this!!".

"To late, can't stop when it's started. Goodbye human. Probably won't be seeing you again".

Dib didn't have time to scream as the blue light became blinding.

One second he was there, and the next he felt like he had been through washing machine all the while a candy puller.

When he opened his eyes he was sitting on…grass? GRASS?!.

He jumped up and looked around, he was in a field of what looked to be grass and hills.

His brain was a bit fuzzy as he tried to put together what the hell had just happened.

He must have sat in the grass for a good few minutes before he finally remembered.

"Oh….OHHHHHHHHH".

His face turned a lovely shade of red once more as he buried his hands in his face.

This was real ..he wasn't asleep or tied to a bed in the crazy house.

He has just escaped being cut open by an alien!! In space!!!

His shame turned to amazement. Holy fuck! He couldn't believe it! He had been right!!! Aliens do exist!!

He laughed loudly, pumping his fists into the air.

He had to tell someone! Anyone! But he had no proof, no one would believe him

Ahhh who cared! This only strengthened his resolve! Once he got back home he was start on a device that could pick up signals and….

Home…where the fuck was he??

Earth duh, but where on earth?? Had that computer dropped him back off near his home.

Dib thought for a while until a strong light hit him in the face, followed by the sound it voices.

Dib squinted into the light to see a few people walking towards him.

He put his hand up to wave, only to be met with what sounded like the click of a gun.

"WAIT WAIT!! I'M NOT AN INTRUDER!! HUMAN! I'M A PERSON! DON'T SHOOT!".

The person holding the gun looked towards dib, able to see him better.

"Boy what ye doing in are fields! Saw a bright light! Ye some alien! Come for our cows! I'll give you a friendly Minnesota welcome!".

"What!! No I'm not an alien! I mean I was taken by one! But no! It dropped me off and….wait…Minnesota??? Did you say Minnesota??".

"Ye stupid?? Hit your head on the way down to prob us!".

Dib groaned. Wonderful, no phone, no money, and in his pj's. What could be worse.

Suddenly dib was aware that he was tipping forward. The grassy ground met his face with a thud and he could no longer get up.

"Huh? Well that's…strange…and painful, ohh really painful. It feels like something was ripped out".

Despite his mind going blank thanks to the overwhelming pain he did remember the computers words about losing an limb or something.

"Oh fuck me" he mumbled before it all went black.

Chapter Text

Working for his father was one of the hardest things dib had done.

It was only for the summer. If only to get money and membrane off his back.

And dib hated it. He was an adult and yet his father treated him like a child still.

Making him run around like an intern and pushing simple paperwork tasks off to him.

Worse still was zim. Working took up a good chunk of dibs time, which meant less time for zim.

Who have become very needy of late (dib sort of found it cute if not annoying).

And while it gave dib time to deal with feelings that have been growing steadily for a while. He has to say it was a bit boring without zim.

Zim had always been the jealous type. God he remembered when that girl in highschool had asked him out.

Dib had gone on two dates before she had an "accident" where both her legs had been brutally mauled off by some sort of robot bear.

Zim had commented that she was a "distraction and zim could take over the earth more easily if she was around".

Dib felt bad about it until he found out she had only gone out on the dates because of a set up.

Then he didn't feel that bad afterwards. Maybe zim waa rubbing off on him too much.

It was sort of pathetic that his only real friend was the alien that was trying to kill him half the time.

So when his father had come to him one day With an offer that he couldn't refuse (no really he couldn't) he sadly had to take it.

Dib would be joining a scientific research project out in the forest. To help him experience science first hand!

It was either that or quit work and be shipped off to some university for science.

Membrane has made it clear dib was to go and no exception.

With no real choice he packed his things and went. Deciding not to tell zim given his ability to make things worse.

The camp itself was nothing special. Just some random wilderness camp that had been converted into a research station.

It was better than roughing it. Dib got his own cabin (he liked to believe it was his dad's doing and not because everyone thought he was insane).

The drive up was uneventful, and dib hadn't seen any signs of zim yet!

The research trip had something to do with trying to bioengineer trees so that they could filter waste or something. Dib didn't care.

The work was boring and dib made sure to volunteer for all outings to collect samples.

He might as well look around for any paranormal activity. Forests always had them.

By the third day dib wanted to go home. He hated his co workers.

They would often talk behind his back loudly enough he could hear every word.

He barely got to do any of the more fun activities and was always stuck on desk duty or collecting moss.

He was ignored even after calling out mistakes after mistakes and blamed for when things went wrong.

Dib got into the routine of eating in his cabin alone, working alone and just being miserable.

Despite this, Dib was observant and noticed one of the researchers; a woman. Was gone

When he asked he was brushed away.

So dib shrugged it off. Well until they found her.

They had all been down by the lake trying to get some algae samples when a shout was heard.

The group rushed over to see a very pale and shaking woman point towards the rocky beaches.

There lay Anna, the missing researcher.

Or what was left of her.

Dib remembered her as the girl who had spread a rumor that he snuck into the girls cabin she was in and put cameras in the shower.

Which was wrong! He had been setting cameras up around the area to catch any creatures!

But whatever. It seemed she wouldn't be talking ever again.

The lower half of her body was gone. Left was her intestine sprawled out behind her. Dib could see the white of half her spine sticking out. One of her eyes also seemed to be missing.

Dib looked up and saw a good chunk of the team frozen in fear.

He could hear the sounds of a few people retching off to the side, a sob, someone muttering "oh god oh god oh god" and someone hitting the ground; probably fainting.

Dib looked up at the lead "so what do we do now? We can't leave the body out here. Do we call the cops".

The lead looked to him, one of the few not affected by the sight. Dib guessed from experience.

"...we will take the body back and look it over. Cops are not necessary".

Dib rolled his eyes, of course, have to keep face for the lab. Can't have word get out a worker died.

The body was moved into the storage tent. Given it has cooling.

Dib didn't miss the whispers as they walked back.

"Oh god it looks like she was eaten!"

"No way, the cuts were too clean. Like she had been chopped in half!"

"Did you see dib? He barely looked fazed! What a freak!"

"I bet he's used to it. You know I heard he would often talk about cutting people open"

"Insane for sure".

Dib grit his teeth. He had enough of this bull. He was going home and he didn't care what happened.

That night dib made his plan. He packed all his things in his bags and waited till night fall.

Once it was dark enough he went around and gathered all his cameras. Maybe he caught something on them.

It was scarily easy to slip past the cabins and tents to the parking lot. But dib wasn't about to think about it. He wanted out.

His plans However came to a halt as he stood before the mess that was once the car lot.

His and all the other cars were ruined.

It looked like an elephant had come through here! A very quiet one mind you.

All the cars were smashed. Turned into flat scraps of metal.

"What the hell?!? What's going on!".

Just then he heard a scream, straight out of one of those cheesy horror movies.

Followed by a bunch more.

With no real way out, dib did the stupid thing and ran back. He blamed himself for always wanting to be the hero.

Rushing back to the camp area he saw full out chaos.

A few of the researchers had their electric prods (dib flinched a bit. He still had bad memories of those). out. Swinging it into the darkness.

It seemed the whole place was in a blackout.

Dib quickly rummaged through his bag and grabbed his night vision goggles. Never left home without them!

And thanks to irken tech there is no need for that green tint. It was like putting on glasses that just made the area…. brighter for better words.

Putting them in he could finally see the full event that was taking place.

If dib hadn't dealt with what he had dealt with before he would definitely be beside the now panicking researchers.

Blood, and a lot it it.

Dib guessed it has to be a few different people to make up the mess that was in the middle of camp.

Dib could make out the different body parts that littered the ground. An arm here, a leg there, a head just laying face down on the dirt.

Ignoring the screams of fear from his co-workers, Dib made his way over to the scene.

As he got closer the ground made a sick squishy sound from the soaked blood.

He was very glad to be wearing his boots right now.

Dib bent down over one of the limbs and examined it.

A clean cut, very clean. Definitely not an animal. Weapon would have to be sharp and the user would have to have insane strength for a single cleave.

He wouldn't lie and say he was a bit excited. What if this was a new monster! A new unseen cryptid! And dib would find it, and get proof.

Dib pondered for a while until he was rudely grabbed by someone from behind.

Dib was turned around harshly before being punch in the face.

There was a loud crack followed by a jolt of pain coursing through his face. Broken nose for sure.

Dib stumbled back and fell right into the now puddle of dirt and blood.

Dib groaned, he could feel the blood dripping from his now broken nose.

"What the fuck!" he yelled "what the hell was that for!!".

The person; dib now saw was one of the younger men, was fuming.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU SICK FREAK!! I'VE BEEN COMING HERE FOR YEARS AND NOTHING WENT WRONG UNTIL YOU GOT HERE!! I BET YOU DID ALL THIS!! YOU INSANE FREAK!".

dib was having a hard time following given the pain in his nose but rolled his eyes.

"Are you fucking kidding me!!! I haven't done shit! I want to leave this hell hole! This isn't even a human doing this! Look at the body parts! Unless we got some sort of horror slasher around there is no way a human can make those cuts by hand!".

The other man grew redder and redder.

"LOOK AT THE PARTS! HOW THE HELL CAN YOU DO THAT SO CASUALLY! THOSE WERE MY FRIENDS! THEY ARE FUCKING DEAD AND SCATTERED AROUND HERE LIKE FUCKING TOYS! AND YOUR GOING ON ABOUT….GOD DAMN MONSTERS!! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU".

The man went for another swing, but dib wasn't taking his crap.

Kicking his legs out from under him he struck the research in the legs. Tripping him.

Dib pushed himself off the ground in one go and using his own fist, gave a satisfying punch to the gut.

The man doubled over, but dib wasn't done. He needed to get a bit of payback.

He moved fast, getting his knee right under the man's head before thrusting it up.

Dib heard and felt the very satisfying crunch of a bone breaking.

The man screamed out as dib grabbed his shirt and threw him to the ground.

"Fuck you! I'm getting the fuck out here! I would have helped but you can deal with this shit yourself!".

Dib spat out some of the blood that had been slowly dripping down his face.

Grabbing a random shirt from his bag he pressed it to his nose. Hissing at the sting.

For once he was glad for all his years of dealing with zim for his fighting skills. Keeping up with an irken as crazy as zim taught him a lot of skills and made him pretty hardy.

…..zim…..the clean cuts…..power outage, crushed cars.

"Oh fuck me!". Dib hissed.

He looked back to the body parts, ignoring the moaning man.

The head he had seen had rolled over during the fight and dib's hunch had been right.

The skull had been cracked open and the brain was gone. Not just gone but fully cleaned out of the head.

Gir.

Who else would crack open a brain like a nut and take out the insides.

Dib threw his bag down and gave a bellowing yell.

"HEY!! ALIEN FREAK!! I KNOW THIS IS YOUR DOING!! ZIM! YOU BASTARD!! MY NOSE IS BROKEN BECAUSE OF YOUR SHIT! YOU BETTER GET OUT HERE OR SO HELP ME!".

Suddenly the lights went back on. Blinding dib almost immediately.

Dib yelped and threw off his night vision goggles. Cursing.

Dib rubbed his eyes, the world blurry and bright.

The surviving researchers who had been hiding or trying to fight back slowly started to calm down.

Coming out from the cabins or hiding places.

Once his vision was back dib could see a team of 25, was now maybe 10.

Great, just great. He was going to get blamed for this wasn't he.

He let out a frustrated sigh which caught the attention of the group.

The other research all turned, wide eyed and pale. Dib could see some sporting injuries.

God was one person missing an eye!! What the hell was with zim and eyes. Was that why he kept trying to take dibs out and replace them with cybernetics because "I can't battle you properly if you go blind half way through!".

Dib took a step forward only for them to shuffle back.

Ok…not the best reaction.

"Guys it's fine, don't run it will just make it worse! What's the problem!".

One of the girls suddenly bent over throwing up.

"He's the killer!! Look at him! Covered in blood!".

Dib looked down confused and sighed. He was covered in blood.

Must have happened when he was punched very rudely.

"It's not mine!...wait no! I mean some of it is mine! I was punched in face! Look…I'm not the killer! Just…don't run away. It makes it worse!".

Dib kept moving forward so of course they kept moving back.

One of men? Suddenly yelled a name and dib spun around just in time to miss a sloppy swing of the hand.

The guy who he has punched was back up for more.

"Oh come on! You attacked me first! It was self defense!". Dib yelled as he dodged each sloppy swing.

Another step back and dib slipped a bit. Causing him to stumble.

The man smirked and took this as an opportunity to strike. Flying at dib with all the speed he could muster.

Dib really didn't have time to throw a punch so he put his hands up to cover his face and hoped this guys bark was wores then his bite.

But no punch came. Instead the sound of gurgling. Like someone had swallowed water and was trying to cough It up.

Dib moved his hands down and gave a slight jolt.

Sticking out of the man was a very familiar looking spike.

It was soon followed by three more. All stabbing into the soft flesh.

Blood poured from the man's mouth as his innards had been punctured.

Seeing someone getting stabbed up close made dibs shiver. Yes he was used to the over top violence but certain stuff did still get to him.

The research gave a whimper, something along the lines of help? Maybe.

It didn't last because the spikes (pak legs)were moving.

The legs pulled back, if only slightly to hook into the flesh more. Then with a swift swipe of the legs the body in front of him had split into two.

Dib was too shocked to really move.

He watched as the researcher's insides splattered on the ground in front of.

Intestine, stomach, liver, a kidney, all plopping to the ground with a wet splat.

Blood sprayed across the ground, the force of the rip enough to launch some of the chunks into the air.

Dib finally found his voice

"What the fuck!!!!! Zim!!!! Holy shit!!!".

Said alien almost emerged from the body. Flinging the blood off his pak legs.

"You did all this!?!! What the fuck! Why are you here!!! How the hell did you find me! You killed those people, zim! And I'm sure as hell you let gir eat a few of them".

Dib stepped forward ready to murder zim.

He wasn't ready for the lightning fast response zim had. He used two of his pak legs to pin dibs shirt. Forcing him to fall down.

Dib groaned as his head hit the ground. He really needed to stop falling down.

"Oof!...wha-??? Zim!! What the hell!".

Zim jabbed his knee into dib's gut, getting a nice wheeze out of dib.

"Ugggggg".

Zim glared down at dib, his eyes burning a bright pink.

"You left zim"

"Whaaaaa??"

"You left me, without telling me you were going to this! This! Disgusting outdoor sleep place!!! Just left!! Didn't bother to tell the great and mighty zim anything!!".

His voice was unusually low and harsh.

"....is that why you did ALL THIS!!! HOLY FUCK! THIS IS WHY I DON'T TELL YOU THINGS! LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!!! PEOPLE ARE DEAD!! YOU JUST TORE A GUY APART!!".

Zim glanced at the remains of said guy and shrugged.

"Didn't he break your squishy face"

"My nose! It was my nose and wait…you saw!! And you didn't do anything?! Why?!!".

"Because it was funny," zim crackled.

"Fuck you!" Dib spat "none of this is funny!! I'm going to be blamed for all this shit! I'll be locked up for life in a padded room eating food from a tube!".

"Pfft you over react. Zim will make sure no one tells because there will be no one to tell".

One of his pak legs was soon replaced with a laser that just so happened to be aimed at the group of researchers. Who at this point has crowded (stupidly) around the area.

"WHAT!? ZIM NO!! Don't kill anyone more!!! For god sakes! What's wrong with you!!

Zim lowered the laser and glared back at dib.

"You left"

"God yes we have been through that already!"

"You left zim!"

"Ok and your point!"

"You left zim again!! Again! Again! Again!! Just like before!!! You left and didn't tell me!!".

His eyes were filled with rage but dib could make out the underline sadness.

"Zim…"

"YOU BELONG TO ZIM!!! YOU DON'T GET TO LEAVE LIKE THIS WITHOUT ME KNOWING!!".

Dib flushed at the comment, knowing real well this wasn't the time but hey, his body does what it does.

Fuck why did he always find a dominant zim sexy. Especially when he got all like…this. Curse his monkey brain.

"Ugg zim, how the hell did you find me anyways".

"Oh zim has a tracking chip in you, very clever". He beamed.

"Ah"....wait in him?? Not on him. Ugg never mind he would deal with it later.

Dib sighed "whatever. Zim can you get off me".

Zim growled but backed up, letting his pak legs Sheth back into his pak.

"Zim has come to collect you. You will come back to the city and you have no say on it".

Dib didn't want to know what would happen if he said no. He was way too tired right now and really really sore.

"Fine…whatever. But this whole place is a fucking mess. You went all slasher and I'm covered in blood!".

Zim clicked his tongue "zim will handle it"

"Without any more killings!!"

"Ugggg fine!!! Take the easy fix away! But I am brilliant so I have a back up plan! So many!".

That back up plan turned out to be brainwashing the rest of the researchers to believe that some sort of mutant bear pack had attacked the camp.

Dib unfortunately had to help make the bodies look more…mutilated which was not the highlight of his day.

The cars were a bit more tricky but zim being lazy just said "eh blame it on the bears".

It was so stupid but dib knew it would be believed. The rest of the world, especially his small city which seemed even worse.

"Ugg you better have something I can clean off with. Since I'm guessing we are taking the voot. My clothes are ruined thanks to you and I have forgotten that my nose is broken thank you!".

"Yes yes your puny body is hurt. I hear your whining. I will fix it. Don't you worry your big head about it".

Dib rolled his eyes "whatever, let's just get out of here! And where is gir. I know he's around. I saw the head".

Zim shrugged "he wanted to come. He'll come back when he's done. I'm sure he's out playing with the dirty beasts of the forest"

Then he smirked "of course dib, but first let's get you clean".

Oh dib did not like that look, not at all.

Turns out dib was right, that look wasn't a good one.

One high pressure water cannon later and dib was clean but shivering in his very wet clothes.

"F-f-fuck you!" Dibs teeth chattered.

Zim chuckled "aww don't worry dib, you'll be warm soon".

Dib went red, suddenly feeling very very hot.

"Wha-w-what does that mean!! Zim! Zim!!".

Zim laughed as he threw some sort of fabric at dib's head.

"Hurry and change dib, we need to leave before the sun comes up".

With no choice, dib had to change.

Dib decided he wasn't going to think hard on the fact Zim had brought him clothes.

He needed to have a real shower, maybe some food and a good sleep.

Yup, then he can forget everything that's happened today and deal with the fact he very much found zim attractive during this whole thing.

God he really was insane wasn't he?

Chapter Text

Turns out aliens could become vampires too.

Or at least as close to human vampires.

Dib blamed himself. It was stupid of him to go into the house with very little background and planning.

But he has gotten so used to having zim around to help him out.

Having an alien boyfriend was very easily the best thing ever.

He was like a Swiss army knife! With deadly lasers.

The house had been the place of multiple sightings of a strange figure coming in and out at night

Paired with the disappearance of the local women.

Dib knew in his gut it was a vampire.

So with giddy glee he managed to rope zim along with him. In hopes of not only killing but getting some proof.

And it was all going well, until it wasn't.

The vampire wasn't expecting an alien to come packing heat with lasers that had been modified to shoot out energy that mimicked the sun.

Or a crazy young man who kept jumping at him to cuff him so he could "get proof".

The fight had been chaotic and all over.

Somehow through the fight the vampire had gotten close enough to zim to bite him.

Zim let out a howl of disgust more so than pain.

"YOU FILTHY BEAST!!". followed by a few dozen blasts to the creature's head.

The vampire didn't stand a chance, and soon faded away into ash.

Dib was upset at first, he hadn't been able to get any good pictures.

However seeing the bite marks on zims arms washed that all away.

"Oh shit! Oh shit! Zim! You're bitten! Fuck fuck fuck!

Dib began to dig through his bag like a mad man, hoping to find the anti vampire serum.

"Ugg zim knows! That filthy creature got his germs all over zim!".

"What?!? ZIM THIS IS SERIOUS! HE BIT YOU! THAT MEANS YOU CAN TURN INTO A VAMPIRE!!".

Zim just stood there for a few second before he burst into laughter.

"AHAHAHAHA OHH GOOD ONE DIB AHAHAHAHA".

dib glared "I'm not kidding zim! You need to drink the anti venom now" he said as he thrust a vile of blue Liquid in his face.

"Ugg is that the stuff you got off the internet"

"Yes and it's from a creditable source! Now drink!".

"Zim would rather die! I'm not drinking some…random filth juice you got off the internet! For all I know there could be someone's foot shavings in there".

"What?! Come on zim you know that's not true"

"Still, I won't drink it"

"Zim! Your going to turn-".

"I will not!!! Foolish dib! The mighty irken pak filters out all and every disease, viruses and sickness! In fact as we speak my pak has already started to filter out the horrid germs that foul thing put in me. I will be fine. No need to worry. But zim is hornord".

Dib groaned and sat back down with a thud.

"God you better be right. Sometimes I wonder why i put up with you"

Zim chuckled "because you have stupid squishy love feelings for me".

Dib chuckled "I suppose, but so do you, so you aren't one to talk".

That earned dib a nice smack to the head, followed by him laughing.

Followed by a walk back to the voot full of banter and shoving, then said shoving turning into rough housing, followed by a sneakily placed kiss to the lips and ending off with post victory make out session.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dib was worried, he hadn't heard from zim in a few days.

At first zim has texted him that he was busy (which wasn't that un-normal)

The texts at first being his normal all caps yelling.

Then it went to normal sized wording which was a bit concerning. Dib had asked if he was doing fine and zim has said.

"Don't you worry your big beautiful head, zim is just busy! I have a life outside you!".

"Lies, fine I'll text you later"

And that later never came.

Dib had tried calling and texting, but nothing. No response.

So he made his way to zim's house. Only for the security system to activate and throw dib out.

Now that was a big red flag. Zim had made sure the house knew he was no threat and wouldn't have the system turn on when he came.

The lasers didn't fire thank god, but the hands had kicked him out followed by the force shield that locked dib out.

So almost a week had gone by with nothing .

Dib did try, he used everything at his disposal to get past the shield, even digging under the ground to access the base.

But zim had thought of that and the shield was also up underground.

So all dib could do was wait and throw himself at the house.

On day 8 dib had enough. He marched up to the edge of zim's house around 12am and demanded to be let in.

"ZIM YOU ASSHOLE!! LET ME IN!! WHAT'S GOING ON!! I'M NOT LEAVING…. I'M WORRIED!! ZIM!?".

dib got no response so he braced himself as he ran towards the shield.

Only to jump, and fall flat on his face as the shield wasn't there anymore.

Dib was glad it was night so no one saw that embarrassing fail.

"Uggggg fuck…the shield is down?? What …the hell".

He rubbed his head and got up. God zim was so confusing sometimes.

Dib marched forward still a bit pissed and kicked the door open.

"SPACE ROACH!! YOU BETTER COME OUT!!'.

He moved into the house and was surprised at how dark it was. There was normally some sort of flashing device or tech that was always on.

"Computer?!! Turn the lights on!".

A few seconds go by and nothing.

"Computer??? The light-".

Suddenly the lights flashed on, blinding dib for a second.

"Ahhh fuck! Damn it!".

Dib rubbed his eyes and sighed, "what the heck is going on, computer where is zim? And wha-HOLY HELL!! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE!".

When dibs eyes regained their sight he could finally see the main floor.

And it looked like a wild animal had gotten in. Or that gir had brought over one his animal "friends".

The couch was in tatters. claw marks? Had ripped through the fabric and stuffing was all over. It was also in chunks.

The floor was littered in wires and tubes. The tiles were even pulled up and cracked.

The massive tv looked the worst. Something had clearly broken through it. It was shattered, cut in half and had it's insides pulled out.

The walls has those claw marks and the ceiling was just a big a mess with wires dangling and tubes snapped.

"What….what the hell" dib whispered.

Anger at zim turned to fear. This was definitely not girs doing.

Had something…or someone gotten in?? An alien bent on taking zim down??

Dib's heart began to race, his breath coming out fast. He could feel tears forming in his eyes.

"Ok calm down…breath dib breath, zim is fine. He's always fine he's fine..".

Dib grabbed his chest. He could hear and feel his heart beating right out of chest.

Suddenly a noise broke through his panic. It sounded like…. something in the labs!!

Dib focused and yes! He could hear something..it sounded like clanking and moving machines.

If dib was smart he would have gone home, grabbed his gear, maybe bring gaz and come back to storm the labs and see what's up.

But he wasn't smart and emotions took over. So he did the only thing he could think of.

He charged down into the labs.

Zim had made a more accessible way to the lab for zim given he was "a freakishly tall monkey!" (Zim's words not his).

Dib was grateful the elevator was working…which made the whole blackout on the upper floors a bit strange.

Once the platform hit the lab floor dib looked around.

The area was a lot darker than normal. There were still lights on, some screens and machines working. But a lot of the lights had been turned off.

Dib grabbed his phone and turned his flashlight on. He was really starting to rethink the whole "storm the castle" idea he just did.

Walking around the base in the dark was incredibly scary. Dib could swear something was watching him.

The hairs on his neck were standing up as he kept going deeper.

But still no zim. Nothing in his main lab, or the massive computer room, no zim in the medical area, or workshop.

Dib was worried he would be walking around here for hours until he tripped.

And once more fell on his face.

"Uggg again? What the hell".

Dib sighed and sat up, rubbing his nose.

He looked at the offending object he tripped on and stopped.

Blood running cold and heart once more beating.

It was Zim's boot.

Dib grabbed it almost right away. Now dib knew something was wrong. Zim was very very particular with his clothes. He would never just throw them around.

He moved his phone up to shine some light forward and gave a gasp.

Another boot…followed by a glove.

Dib gripped the boot so tight his knuckles went white.

Getting up; he walked to each item of clothing and grabbed them.

He found another glove further up ahead. It seemed to be leading somewhere.

Dibs ears were roaring. Oh god something had happened

That's when he saw zims uniform shirt and tears started to flow.

"No no fuck no, nothing is wrong it's ok! Zim is….zim is fine" dib chanted to himself.

He looked around, not realizing he had just blindly followed the clothes.

It took him awhile to realize he was in front of zims "room".

It was more like a room with a round bed and nothing else. Zim had told dib he would come here to "recharge" when he didn't want gir or dib annoying him.

Dib was hesitant but pushed forward. He saw the same claw marks from the couch on the sides of the walls leading to the door.

The door was semi shut, claw marks scratched into the frame.

"Zim….zim?" Dib whispered.

"Please…zim? Are you…ok? Zim?".

Dib pushed the door open, peeking inside.

There was a soft pink glow from the above lights. They allowed dib to see a bit inside.

The bed was a mess. The fabric was torn up, fillings and fabric all over. The walls of the room had massive slash marks, which now dib could tell where pak legs.

Dib was to busy to notice the door slowly closing as he walked closer to the bed.

"Zim?" Dib begged softly.

He peered over the sheets and stopped. His whole body stopped. He was sure he had stopped breathing too.

There lay zim, sprawled out on the bed. His pak wasn't glowing

….his pak wasn't glowing.

Dib launched himself forward, grabbing the body before him.

"Zim?!!?? ZIM!!!!? FUCK ZIM!!".

tears had started to pour out of his eyes as he held zim tightly. He couldn't hear or feel anything.

"Zim! Oh god Zim! This isn't funny. Haha this is a joke right? You got me! Wake up!...wake up!!".

Dib shook the alien, then slapped him.

"WAKE UP ASSHOLE!! THIS ISN'T FUNNY!! YOUR FINE! YOUR PAK….".

Dib glanced at the pak and gave a loud sob.

It wasn't lit up, it wasn't even blinking.

How long had zim been like this???

Dib's stomach dropped thinking back to the texts. He felt like he wanted to throw up. Why didn't he try harder, come sooner.

He didn't even notice he was sobbing, holding zim closely as he begged him to wake up.

"no please. Zim! Please don't…don't do this. I'm sorry I'm sorry please zim!".

Dib made a sound much like a dying animal as when he lifted zim up, all his body did was go limp and hang in dibs grip.

Dib softly put his lover down and got up. He calmly walked over to the wall and punched it.

He punched and punched and punched it. Yelling, screaming and sobbing. His knuckles going redder and redder until it started to break skin.

But dib didn't care. He kept going and going until his hand was a bloody mess and he slid down onto the floor.

He let out a choked sob, wanting to curl up and lay there.

What could he do?!? It was clear that Zim's life clock had reached zero.

Then he heard it. A sound…some movement.

He dismissed it as a machine or something else but soon it became clear it was a shuffling noise…shuffling in fabric.

Dib shot up and spun around looking to the bed.

He rushed over, he wasn't crazy, he heard it!

"Zim?!!" He said hopefully.

Dib went to grab the alien when suddenly zim shot up.

Dib almost screamed as zim just stared at him.

"Zim!!" Dib smiled then frowned. Something was wrong.

Zim's eyes were no longer it's bright berry pink, but a pale dull red.

And his pak, dib could see a small glow but it was wrong. It was so dark.

"Zim?"

Zim thrust his arm out, grabbing dib's wrist.

Dib winced "fuck zim! What's going on! Zim!".

But it was like talking to a brick wall (more than normal). Zim pulled him forward, making dib fall into the bed.

Dib wasn't even able to get a word out before zim thrust dib's ruined hand into his face.

Dib was speechless, especially when zim let his long tongue glide over dibs bloody hand.

Dib went red as zim made a show of licking dibs fingers, palm and knuckles. His tongue wraps around each digit, curling around it before sliding off.

Zim's tongue felt strange. It was soft yet firm, and there were ridges from where his tongue looked like it was segmented.

Dib let out a low groan. His hands burned from the pain which made it all the more sensitive.

Dib almost lost himself when zim somehow used the whole length of his tongue to wrap around the base of his wrist all the way to the thumb tip.

When zim was finished dib pulled away, flushing hard.

"What the heck! Zim what was that! What is this! Your ok? Was this all a joke to get me in bed?? Did you just want to fuck me?! Did you just…eat my blood?!?"

Zim didn't respond, just slowly gazing at dib.

Dib got a chill down his spine, "ok I think I need to leave. Something is wrong with you and I need to get the computer to help".

Dib turned his head only to be rewarded with zim pouncing on him. Pushing him down into the ruined bed.

"Zim!" Dib gasped, feeling his claws dig into sides.

A familiar heat pooled in dibs stomach, making its way down to his cock.

Dib cursed himself, he was also a sucker for rough, especially with zim. He was coming to terms that he may be a masochist.

Zim wasted no time in moving his hands to grab dibs arms, pinning them over his head, his knee going right between dibs leg to stop him from moving.

Dib knew something was wrong. This wasn't zim…or was it. Dib didn't know how to feel. Happy? Sad? Angry.

Was zim dead?? Was this some sort of imposter? Was zim sick!!.

Zim thrust his knee forward earning a moan from dib. And a smirk from zim.

Dib gulped, that was definitely Zim's smirk.

"Hold still dib-flame. You're so loud you know, zim could hear your blood candies beating from a mile away".

Blood candies??? Hear??

"Ohh dib, don't you worry. I'm glad you're here. I was so hungry and I don't think I would have gotten out. Now, be a good dib, be a good boy and help your master".

Dibs mind was a muddled mess. Combined with zims slow grind on cock it was very very hard to think.

It all came together when dib saw zim bend over and soon felt a sting on his neck.

God he was so stupid! The bite!! Of course! He knew he should have done something. Zim's pak must have failed or something!

Shit! Zim was a vampire. he didn't even think that was possible given zim was an alien.

The sting soon became a smoldering Heat. His blood felt like lava as it pumped through him.

He was on fire and shamelessly moaning as he felt zim bite deeper.

Dib thrust his hips up and down, grinding on zims knee.

It was such a strange feeling. He could hear and feel zim drinking his blood, it scared him but God if he wasn't aroused right now.

Zim chuckled into his neck, moving away from the bite marks to give his handy work a look over. He gave it a rough lick watching dib squirm under him.

"Oh fuck, oh zim, shit" dib whimpered.

He watched zim lick his own blood off his lips and smirk "you taste so good dib-sweet. I just can't resist it. Your such a good boy".

Which earned a high moan from dib as he shamelessly thrust harder.

"Don't you worry dib, I'll make sure you feel so good. Don't you worry".

Zim didn't even have to pin dib down this time. Dib's own hands wrapped around Zim's neck as the alien (now vampire) went back for seconds.

The moment zim bit back down, Dib arched his back and let out a scream.

The heat was overwhelming. Dib could feel himself getting closer and closer to pouring over.

His head began to go blank. He felt woozy.

How much was zim drinking? That particular thought was cut out of his mind when he felt zims hand dive deep into pants. Pulling out his leaking cock.

Dib was speechless, mouth agape.

Without moving from his neck zim somehow minovered himself out of his own bottoms. His own sex curling in the air.

It dripped with arousal and went straight for dibs own cock.

The tentacle wrapped itself around dibs cock almost immediately and started to slither and squeeze it's way up and down.

Dib lost his mind. He loved when zim did this during sex and this was no exception.

He could feel himself losing consciousness. Warning bells kept going off in the back of his mind but he really couldn't do anything.

He was probably going to die here and god if there wasn't hot as fuck to him nothing was.

Zim's tentacle went faster and faster. The tip grazing the tip of dibs own cock before pressing down on it.

Dib came undone, he let out a loud moan. Arching his back and clawing at zims neck.

"ZIIIIIIIIIIIM!!!!!!!"

Dib fell back to the bed, panting and eyes slowly closing. He could still hear zim feeding on him.

"Disgusting" zim murmured into his neck, yet didn't stop.

"Don't you worry, I won't kill you, that would be a waste. I'll just take enough to make you tired. We will be doing this again soon, and I'm sure you'll enjoy it".

Dib felt tired, sore and gross. Maybe a quick rest would fix it. Then he would find out what happened to zim.

He wasn't in danger of dying, and besides, zim was right; he was going to enjoy it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sadly dib wouldn't get the chance to revisit that moment. Because zim wasn't a vampire…..at least not really.

When dib woke up he was in the med bay. He had a blood IV in him and was hooked up to the computer.

Confused, and really tired he called out for anyone.

That anyone was the computer and after a quick "what the heck happened" he got his answer.

Turns out Zim's pak had cured him, or well it had dealt with the "virus".

But it wasn't right away. Turns out vampires aren't a thing in space, so the Pak really had no idea what to do at first.

It essentially had to create a cure from scratch and to do that it needed to reboot.

So when it did a reboot the vampirism was able to swarm zims system.

The pak was able to cure Zim almost right away after the reboot.

But it seemed there were side effects.

And one of them was temporary vampirism.

So zim had technically died during the reboot.

His body acting much like how a starving vampire would. It pushed him into a sort of hibernate state until dib came and well…that happened.

Despite everything that happened dib was actually glad things turned out like they did.

Not only was Zim alive! But he got to tease zim about the whole "I'm fine my pak will deal with it thing".

Though dib would admit he missed "that" side of zim. He was a bit to shy (and stubborn) to try and talk to zim about it. Especially the whole "biting me till I bleed" thing.

He would just let it slide.

Unknown to him; zim had managed to collect some of the emergency security footage from that night.

And was very very interested and invested in dibs reactions to the "side effects" that bite did.

He smiled, the next movie night would be fun.

Chapter Text

Zim was in trouble.

No more than trouble, he was down right doomed.

Why did he even come to this planet? He had been warned that this was a danger class level 10 planet.

But he was zim! The best! He needed to spread the good word of the Armada! Needed to let these poor aliens know that there was more out there than just stars and balls of rock.

Earth was his biggest challenge….or so he thought.

Turns out his biggest challenge was one particular earthling named dib.

As soon as zim entered the classroom dib had honed in on him. Eyes never leaving zim.

The whole day Zim felt uncomfortable, he could just feel dib's intent.

By the end of the day Zim was on high alert. Every little thing was making him jump.

So when dib confronted him at the doors of the school zim ran.

Dib gave chase, that wild look in his eyes and sharp smile.

Zim had managed to stay ahead but not enough that dib found out where he lived.

Days turned into weeks of dib trying to capture zim or announce to the world zim was an alien.

Zim actually felt a bit sorry for dib as his classmate and basically everyone around him dismissed his words.

Making Zim's job harder if he was going to tell the world about the Armada.

maybe he could become dibs' friend!! He looked as if he needed one. And dib was smarter than all the other humans he met.

So zim could only blame himself for what happened next.

He had gone up to dib after seeing a few humans (bullies if he remembered) fight him.

For the most part many just called him names and made fun of him. He had never really seen anyone fight him hand to hand.

And now zim knew why. Dib was crazy.

He has taken on four of them. And despite being hurt he had managed to beat all of them to a pulp.

He was sure dib had gouged out the eye of one of the kids.

Dib himself had a busted nose, bloody lip, and bruises all over.

So Zim in his kindness extended the olive branch as humans say and offered to patch him up.

This soon turned to an uneasy truce. That let zim learn more about humans.

Like how dib was the son of a very famous and influential scientist. Which was good for zim. He could get dib to maybe get an audience with his father.

So of course zim let his guard down.

Dib had been pretty friendly of late and so when dib had asked to see Zim's house; Zim rabidly accepted.

And this is where he now lay. On his own lab table, naked and waiting to be cut open.

He wasn't sure how dib hacked and turned off his security system, or how he shut the computer down. But he did, and zim was powerless.

Zim regretted telling dib of his pak, because dib had made some sort of seal around it.

And poor gir. Dib had somehow shorted out his system with a bunch of candy that gunked up his gears.

Zim shivered as dib walked in. Trading his yellow shirt and black trench coat for a white lab coat paired with Long surgical gloves.

The light glinted off his glasses, making him look even more menacing.

"You know I almost feel bad for this, it was pretty easy to get you all tied up like this. You look really nice too".

Dib walked over and traced a line down zims bare stomach, making the irken jerk.

"Such a pretty color of green, almost jelly-like. And the smell"

Dib took a deep breath in and grinned "sweet and intoxicating".

Zim's blood ran cold. This was the stuff he was warned about.

Apparently back before they had paks of could even get off planet; irkens were considered a delicacy.

Even still they are, but thanks to Millenia of building military might they had shifted far away from such dangers.

Until now.

"I wonder what you taste like…smelling so good. I get your sweet enough to rot my teeth" dib chuckled.

"I'm sure the dib-bee would be more interested in something else other than me. Why don't we stop this game and I'll get you a snack! I have lots of things from off planet!".

Dib stopped and picked up a scalpel.

"Hmmm tempting but! This is a once and a lifetime opportunity and I can't have it get away from me now. You said we could become best friends, you didn't lie did you? Best friends help each other out. And you're helping me out right now. Being so good for me, you're a good boy right?".

Zim shivered at the praise, his antenna laying flat against his head.

"Y-y....yes".

Dib smiled widely and placed the scalpel on zims chest. "Good. After this you'll be my best friend, and I'll help you anyway you need".

Zim closed his eyes as he felt the scalpel dig deep into his skin. Splitting him open.

Zim gave a groan of pain, straining against the restraints. It hurt so much!

Tears began to form as dib continued. Moving down in one swift motion.

"Beautiful, so beautiful, your skin is like jelly! It feels so soft. You're a good boy, zim".

Zim gave a small whimper, the praise sending warmth into his spooch.

Zim watched as dib began to peel back his skin, pegging it to the sides of the table.

The human chuckled "now the fun begins hmm?".

And by fun that meant picking up zims organs one by one.

The pain has dulled now. The only thing he felt was the warmth of each praise dib gave when he pulled an organ.

it wasn't like this would kill him. Given that irkens had been feasted on for years they had evolved to survive.

They could regrow organs, whole body parts after they had been consumed. Which only really made them become hunted even more.

"I wonder," Dib suddenly said, making a very out of it zim lookup.

"It smells so good zim, like…like a Jolly rancher, and this one" he held up zims stomach "smells like Cotton candy".

"I can't hold back any longer you know".

With mouth slightly agape, Zim watched as dib put a finger in his mouth. Coated in zims own life fluids.

Dibs eyes lit up at the taste.

"Oh my! It's like strawberry syrup! It's sweet and sour, it's got this tangy aftertaste! Zim you're truly a wonder! I was going to hand you over so I could get the fame I always wanted".

He leaned over Zim's body and smiled "but I think now I'll keep you, would you like that? I think you would".

Zim gave a moan, why did this start feeling good?

Dib then held up zims spooch. Still attached to his body. It was a beautiful ruby red, it was almost gem like.

Dib's mouth watered "for me zim? You shouldn't have".

Zim gave a small smile, arching his hips a bit at the warmth.

Without even bothering to cut the organ free dib bite down.

Copious sprayed from the beating organ. It dripped down dib's chin much like a juicy piece of meat.

Dib gave a moan of satisfaction. It was incredible!!! It tasted like all the fruit candy wound into one!

It had this crunch that was much like rock candy but was chewy like a gummy.

Zim meanwhile was seeing stars. Feeling dib bite down set shocks through his body. It felt…good. Really good.

Maybe this is why they didn't like creatures eat them anymore.

This went on for a while. Dib picking out each no organ or bone and taking a bite. Sometimes eating a whole organ.

"Look at you, so ruined, so empty. You look beautiful. You taste of the finest candy. I think I might become addicted". Dib said as he wiped his mouth.

Dib chuckled at hearing the soft "thank you" from zim.

"Well I have to get home. It's late now and we have school tomorrow. I'm sure you can clean yourself up. You made a big mess" dib gestured betweens Zim's legs, where slick had started to pool around it.

"Maybe next time I'll try down there, I bet it tastes just as good hmmm? You would like that, yes?".

Dib ran a finger over the space between zims legs, feeling a sort of slit.

Zim bucked up, trying to grind against the finger. Leaking a bit more each time.

"I'll take that as a yes. Well next time zim. Can't do it all one one day..oh and I'll be taking this as a sort of…gift from you".

He held up one of zims eyes he had taken out earlier. It smelt of butterscotch and felt hard.

"Thank you zim, I can't wait for more".

He leaned down and kissed the irken on the head before leaving zim all alone in his lab.

The lights would eventually come back on, his computer would eventually boot up and he would eventually fix gir.

But for now zim just laid on the table, splayed open, mind racing and body so hot. Wondering

What had he gotten himself into, and why did he want to continue.

Chapter Text

Of course! Of all humans to have this happen to. It had to be his. 

Zim has been off planet for only two days! Two days! And he came back to this! 

Zim sighed, rubbing his temple as the person of his problems was currently ripping up his couch. 

"Dib….I swear if you did this on purpose to annoy me" he growled. 

Only to get a growl back, followed by a massive mouth of teeth in what zim supposed was a yawn. 

Dib..or what dib had become went back to making some sort of nest on the couch. Ripping up the stuffing and piling it high. 

Zim wasn't even sure how this happened!! He couldn't ask dib! He wasn't sure if dib could even talk let alone think! 

Looking at the dib-creature it was clear he has turned into something resembling that mothman creature he was so obsessed with (zim wasn't jealous of that at all). 

Dib's signature scythe was replaced by two fluffy antennas that protruded from his now furry head. Dib's hair (which zim would never tell dib he found it fluffy), was replaced with soft black fur of all different shades. The lighter of the fur being around his face, neck, and the end of his arms. 

Gone was his nose and ears, instead a rounded face covered in a light black almost gray short fur. Which only made his eyes stick out more. 

Glasses no more, in their place were two large round eyes of pure glowing white. If zim looked hard enough he could see white pupils. 

While you couldn't see it thanks to the fur, dib had a mouth. 

It was only really visible when he opened it wide but he definitely had one. 

It split all the way up the sides of his mouth and cheeks. Inside said mouth was a nice array of sharp teeth. Said teeth which were currently ripping up the couch. 

No more flat pink human tongue. A long pink serpent-like tongue was in its place. 

The dib's whole body, which had been covered in a bit of hair, was now fully fuzzy. Long black fur sprouted from his body. A lighter black; almost grey fur ring circled his neck. 

Arms, legs, lower half, all covered in the soft fur. The only place it wasn't covering was dibs newly formed hands, which were more like claws 

And zim had already witnessed what those could do. 

Zim would have made a joke about this being an improvement from being a filthy human but zim was way too tired right now. 

He has just dealt with gir in his small spacecraft for two days and he wasn't about to try and spend anymore energy on this. 

"Computer!!!!! Make a new couch on the double and…try to get this thing! Out of here, zim can't handle this right now". 

"Yes zim….are you sure? I think moving dib is a bad idea right now. Seems to be sleeping". 

Zim turned to see dib, after successfully making a nest was curled up and slowly breathing. Zim could even make faint snores. 

"Uggg yes!!! Look at him! He made a mess and I'm sure will keeping making a mess! And I do not need another animal that sheds in the base! I am not cleaning up after another hairy beast!". 

The computer sighed "whatever you say, but I warned you". 

Two robotic tube arms came out from the ceiling, grabbing the sleeping dib-moth. Almost immediately waking him up. 

The arms picked him up long enough for the couch to be sucked into a tube that opened up from the floor beneath the couch. 

A new couch soon replaced the old one. 

"There! See was that so hard! Now throw the dib-beast o-". 

A massive screech filled the air. So loud there zim had to cover his antenna with both hands. 

Zim looked towards dib who was not very happy that his bed had been taken. 

His mouth was open wide with the massive rows of teeth, claws gripping into the metal of the arms. 

Zim heard the groan of metal being bent and before he could react the two arms holding dib where crushed between his new claws. 

The arms stood no chance as dib ripped right through them. Using his claws and teeth. Each bite punched right through the metal like it was paper. 

"Oh….COMPUTER!! DO SOMETHING!!!". 

More arms descended from the ceiling, even some from the walls. 

But they were not match for dib's new power. 

He shredded through them with ease. Pulling a few down from their wiring. 

Zim realizing this was probably not the best situation started his way to the trashcan. 

If he could get into the labs he could seal the top floor and trap dib there till he tired himself out or something. 

Zim slowly hugged the wall and started to make his way to the kitchen. Watching as dib started on the last of the hands. 

He was home free! If it wasn't for gir not cleaning up after himself

The sound of a squeak stopped the metal massacre and made dib snap his head around to the sound. 

Zim cursed in irken, he had stepped on one of girl's stupid toy pigs! He has told gir to clean up after he was done playing! He was going to kill that robot. 

Dib spat out a chunk of metal and growled, opening his mouth wide again to show his lovely teeth as the growling for louder. 

His eyes glowed a hot white as something unfurled behind him. 

Wings, if was his wings. 

They were massive black feathered wings that took up the whole area of the long gone couch. 

Like his fur they were a mix of light and dark blacks. The top feathers almost shining. 

Zim's battle instinct kicked in. His pak legs spring out from his pak. He had enough experience to know this was dangerous and he needed to fight. 

But he was hesitant. This was still dib, his stupid stinky human who while annoying is the only decent thing about this planet (expect some food). 

His paks legs lowered a bit. He wouldn't kill dib, maybe just hurt him enough to restrain him. Besides this dib was very strong and could probably take a hit! 

Zim readied himself, pak legs back up and pointing right at dib. 

Dib gave a low growl before rushing towards zim, claws out stretched and moth wide open. 

Zim was faster, had more experience, had the upper hand in his own base!.....so why did he 

If he stabbed his paks legs through the wings he could pin dib back and use his other legs to get his legs. 

But in that moment when he saw dib charge his mind went blank. All he could see was his stupid squishy human smiling back at him. 

His pak legs went down, and only then did Zim realize he was going to be a in a world of hurt. 

He pivoted around to try and move out of the way, pak legs digging into the floor. 

It was such a stupid move because he knew dib-moth would catch him. 

He felt a rush of air and steeled himself for the attack. 

……but nothing came.

Zim, confused, waited for something but nothing came. 

Zim dared to take a peak, looking over his shoulder. 

There was dib, wings spread wide, but mouth closed and eyes; which had been squinted in anger. Where now wide and softly glowing. 

Zim turned around in confusion. 

This caused dib to move. His wings folded back so he could move better. 

Dib was suddenly behind zim, wide eyed again. 

Zim jumped back, only for dib to follow and go behind him again. 

Zim turned around, only for dib to follow. 

This went on for a while till zim became a bit to dizzy with spinning in circles. 

"For irk's sake!!! What do you want dib!!!". 

Zim felt dib press against his back, and was surprised to hear a sort of….soft clicking sound? 

"COMPUTER!!! WHAT IS GOING ON!! WHAT IS WRONG! HAS DIB ALSO BROKEN HIS BRAINS!". 

the computer who has been watching this amusing scene gave a groan. 

"Your going to blame me for this, I told you not to move him". 

"SHUT IT!! YOU LISTEN TO ME! NOW WHAT'S WRONG! WHY IS!". 

Zim harshly motioned to dib while giving another turn, having dib follow till he was behind him again. 

"LIKE THIS!" 

"Hmmmm well he is a moth I suppose". 

"...WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!??"". 

the computer gave a grunt of annoyance. 

"He's a moth, months like light, your pak glows. I'm pretty sure dib told you stuff about mothman before". 

"Ugg I can't remember everything dib tells me! So…wait he just likes the glowing light on my pak!?". 

Zim turned his head to confirm the information. 

And the computer was right. Dib was staring at the pak, pressing himself to the glowing piece of technology. 

"Ok, so make a big lamp or something and get dib out of here!". 

"And then what? Let him wander around the streets until day? Have the cops take him, maybe take him to membrane labs so his dad could cut him open, take out his organs and-". 

"ENOUGH!!! FINE FINE NO KICKING THE DIB OUT! BUT I CAN'T DO ANYTHING LIKE…THIS!". 

dib gave a small soft click as he pressed his face on the pak. 

A shiver ran up zims body, feeling the soft fur press on his body. 

He turned around and grabbed dib's face. 

" STUPID DIB! WHAT DID YOU DO! TURN YOURSELF BACK! STOP…BEING LIKE THIS!". 

dib gave a sort of churr and nuzzled into Zim's hand. 

Zim bit his lip, why did dib have to be…. stupidly adorable in this form. 

Suddenly dib-moth screeched and turned around, hissing at something. 

Zim peaked over to see a small tubed hand with a syringe filled with blood go back into the ceiling.

"I have taken a sample of dibs blood, I will run some of the samples you have of his human form to run a scan and see if a cure can be made". 

"Eh?? Good job I knew my plan would work!". 

"...sure, but to will take at least a few hours, so have fun". 

"Wait..what?!!". 

The computer went silent despite zim yelling at the ceiling. 

Zim sighed, now he had to deal with dib. 

"Dib beast!" 

Dib who had been hissing at the ceiling turned around. His antenna went up, going fluff and twitching. 

"Listen here! I don't care if you have turned into this…. creature! But you will listen to me! And do as I say! Understood?". 

Dib-moth just tilted his head and gave a small chirp. 

"Ugg are your brain worms especially active today! I said-". 

Zim didn't finish as dib attacked!....or well pounced.  

The fluffy moth bowled over the irken invader, a few feathers coming loose. 

"AHHH I'M BEING ATTACKED! CURSE YOU DIB". 

Dib just gave a churr as he rubbed his cheek against the irkens. 

The soft fur tickling zims face. 

Dibs' wings gave a soft flutter as he rubbed himself on zim. 

Zim decided it was in his best health to just let dib finish up…whatever he was doing. 

Though when dibs face for a bit too close to zim's own the irken flushed a nice light purple and decided enough was enough! 

"Uggg no! To close!"

He pushed the dib off him and got up on his pak legs, towering over dib. 

"ENOUGH! ZIM WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO ACT ALL..SOFT ON ME! YOU HAVE ALREADY SHED ALL OVER ME! LOOK AT THIS HAIR!". 

dib wasn't very interested in hearing zims rant about shedding, or being a germ ridden beast. 

He was more interested in the fact the couch which he had turned into a very nice nest before it was taken away was back. 

It wasn't his nest, but he could fix it. He liked the smell and feel. 

It smelt like zim, which for some reason was very comforting right now. It also felt very soft and warm. 

"AND ANOTHER THING! YOU BITING EVERYTHING ONLY SPREADS THE GERMS FURTHER *riiiiiip*" 

Zim whipped his head around to see that dib had left a nice fresh claw mark on the new couch. 

"AHHH NO YOU DON'T! BAD DIB! BAD!".  

Zim flung himself to the couch and grabbed dib around his waist. 

Dib wiggled around and gave clicking and hissing, annoyed that he was being held. 

Zim could feel dib trying to unfurl his wings to get away so he only held tighter. 

"Dib-moth! Stop this! Or I will…I will..". 

Zim's mind raced as he thought of things he could do to dib without actually hurting him. 

The only one he could think of was something he had used on a gir a few times and was sure he had it in his pak. 

Using his pak, a port opened up and a pak leg routed around until it produced the item that could stop dib. 

"Yes!" Zim smiled, letting go of dib and aiming the weapon, pulling the trigger. 

A spray of water shoots out of the spray bottle and lands on dib. 

Dib's fur spikes as he hisses, stopping his wings and scratching. 

"Bad dib, no! No!". 

Dib hissed again and clawed at zim only for zim to spray again. 

Dib gave a whimpered hiss, teeth baring. 

"If you stop I will stop!". 

Dib hissed once more but lowered his claws and closed his mouth. 

"Good! Now you will sit here until the computer is done with his scans! And you will not ruin my couch or my base!". 

Dib gave a frustrated click and sat down on the couch. 

Zim smiled. Good. Now all he needed to do was make sure dib didn't destroy anything. 

Now resting, Zim realized how tired he was.

He hasn't been able to recharge for days given how busy he had been. 

It was now catching up to him. 

He could go down to the labs and plug in for a fast recharge, but that would leave dib unsupervised and that wasn't something he wanted to try. 

Zim sighed, leaning his head back. 

The new couch was comfortable and smelt clean. Zim relished in the feeling knowing it wouldn't be long before gir got his hands on it. 

Zim was startled from his thoughts when he felt the soft fluffy fur of dib leaning on him. 

Zim wanted to push him off but was a bit too tired to do so. 

Dib moved himself over to zim's lap. Laying himself across the alien's body. 

Zim gave a chuckle "dumb human". 

Dib gave a growl but zim could tell it wasn't threatening, more offending sounding. 

At some point zim had started to run his hands through the soft thick fur. It was almost therapeutic. 

Zim gave a quick glance from habit and looked down to dib

Dib seemed too occupied with Zim's petting to notice anything so zim thought it would be fine. 

He took his hands away, which caused dib to have a whine. 

Zim quickly took his glove off, discarding it to the side. 

He let his hand go back to running through his fur. 

Zim gave a shiver, letting the feeling his dibs fur run over his hands. 

It was much more potent with his gloves off. 

Using his claws he scratched deep into dib's fur, going to his skin. 

That's when zim heard, and felt something. 

At first zim thought it was one of his machines being too noisy. He could feel vibrations, maybe it was the computer working? 

It took a few seconds to release no, it wasn't a machine…it was dib?!. 

He looked down to see dib with his eyes closed….purring! 

Dib gave a purr as Zim's claws continued to scratch. 

Zim was definitely going to keep the recording of this. 

The alien continued to pet dib, his own eyes heavy. 

Maybe a small rest would be fine? It didn't seem like dib would be doing anything right now. He was pretty sure dib was asleep. 

He could see the slow rise and fall of dib's chest. 

It was fine, just a small rest. Once he is rested he'll deal with all this later. 

Zim slowly closed his eyes, letting the warmth of dib's body lull him to sleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Zim….zim…ZIM!" 

Zim was awakened rather rudely by his computer's voice. 

"Good your awake, enjoy your cuddle?". 

Zim went to argue but remembered dib. Who was still currently cuddled up asleep. 

"Anyways, I have figured out a way to turn him back, it shouldn't take more than an hour or two. Shall I get the equipment ready?". 

Zim looked down, good this could all be over. Once dib was fixed he would send him on his way and probably get some nice revenge for what he did to his base. 

Dib gave a large yawn, his massive mouth splitting open and his tongue stretched out before he moved up and started to nuzzle zim again. 

Zim's body sort of…melted again. Not noticing his own antenna had started to wrap around dibs. 

"Master…zim should I start?". 

Zim looked up and then down at dib who was purring again. 

"....what time is it computer". 

"It's 3am" 

"I see….well that's far too late for most humans. If we turn dib back he'll become all tired and whiny, might want to stay and germ up my couch with his stupid human body. It would be best to wait till morning". 

"....but isn't he on the couch now…on you?". 

"SILENCE! DO NOT QUESTION ME!". 

The computer if they could, would be rolling his eyes.  

"Fine, enjoy yourselves I guess". 

Zim gave a huff and slunk back into the couch. 

He felt tired again. But a good sort of tired. Warm and satisfied. 

His antenna had pulled dib's own close to him. Making dib move closer to zim. 

Zim decided that he would make sure dib didn't know about this after. 

Zim closed his eyes again as dib continued nuzzling him. 

An invader as amazing as him deserved some rest. Yes, this was a treat for all hi

s hard work and definitely not because he found it comforting. 

Not because he found the dib calming and may or may not have feelings. 

Nope, he was just tired after all his hard work and needed a good recharge. 

And he would keep telling himself until both he and dib once again fell asleep. 

Only waking when gir had come tumbling into the room screaming about waffles for breakfast.