Archive of Our Own

Whether or not they are directly linked, or the characters know each other, I think of my stories as all having happened within the same little world! In my stories. I frequently mention things that have happened in others I have written, but most of them should be able to be read stand alone without issues.

Thank you for reading, I hope everyone enjoys them!
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“… I-I don’t understand-d w-why I’m-m h-here...” Kaeya said, eye going wide as he spoke. He looked so small and afraid, it reminded Diluc of when the malnourished, frightened boy had first come to live with them so many years ago.

Kaeya’s speech had gone from mildly slurred to worse after a seizure, his memory had also suffered greatly. It happened not too long after Kaeya had been awake enough to talk the first time and Diluc couldn’t help but be alarmed every time he heard the words slur together and every time he had to remind Kaeya of what had happened. He patiently and with as much calm in his posture as he could, held up the paper he’d written out days ago, explaining to his brother that he’d been hurt on a mission and the list of injuries.

If he’d been there just a little earlier…

He watched as Kaeya mourned his hearing loss yet again and Diluc felt utterly helpless. It had only been a little over a week since the calamity that had ended with Kaeya having broken ribs, a broken arm, a severe concussion and hearing loss, along with a horrible looking bruise on the right side of his head. On top of that, he was still unable to stop himself from crying much of the time. Conscious or not, it didn’t seem to matter. Diluc had dealt with severe concussions before, but he had never dealt with something like this, not that he remembered. It scared him. The nurses had said it could happen with a concussion and it should start to go away with time, just like everything else. Diluc was just trying not to think about what would happen if it didn’t heal.

His brother was asleep a lot of the time, some of that through sedation and pain medication, but when he was awake he was also having memory loss. Diluc had to explain to Kaeya each time why he couldn’t hear and each time his brother was devastated. Diluc could only watch and try his best to comfort Kaeya as fresh tears streamed down his brother’s face.

Diluc had also asked Kaeya each day if he would come to the winery while he recovered. Kaeya had agreed every time and would ask when he was able to leave the cathedral infirmary. Barbara had said it would be several more days, but in that time she helped Diluc make preparations for his brother’s recovery. Diluc sent everything they needed to Adelinde and she worked with Elzer to set up a quiet, dark and safe place for Kaeya to rest. They would do whatever it took to ensure that he was comfortable.

~xxxxxxxxxx~

Diluc lost count of how many times he’d held up those papers, how many times he had to watch Kaeya break all over again, but five arduous days after Kaeya had first awoken, Barbara had finally said that there wasn’t much else they could do to help him at the cathedral and that Diluc could take his brother home.

“It will be a difficult journey out to the winery, I’m sure, but as long as you take it slow he should be fine.” She said in her usual cheerful voice. “Watch him closely to make sure he doesn’t wear himself to the point of collapsing! Make sure he drinks lots of water and eats well and-”

“And rests, I know. You wrote everything down for me.” Diluc turned to her, “Thank you for everything.” He said with a bow of his head.

She smiled, “Of course! I hope things start to improve for him quickly. I’m sure being somewhere comfortable will help. A nurse will be out every other day to check on him. Remember to make sure you try to keep a routine and try to have a small walk with him each day, it could help with his memory and engaging him in conversation might help with his speech. We’ll make sure Sir Kaeya gets back into tip-top shape!”

Diluc could only nod. He hoped this was the best choice. It wasn’t Kaeya’s long term memory that had been affected, he remembered things like their fight and that they were getting along again, and Diluc was beyond grateful for that one small thing. His short term memory was gone and he couldn’t seem to remember anything within the last two weeks or so and he had told Diluc that he trusted him. That had hit Diluc like a lawachurl. He still felt like he didn’t deserve Kaeya’s trust. He knew he didn’t deserve it. He hadn’t gotten over what he’d done to his little brother where Kaeya had said he never blamed him to begin with.

He hadn’t realized Jean was next to him until she took his hand in hers and smiled at him softly, “He’ll be happy that he’s with you and you’ll get through this together. Don’t doubt that or yourself.” She said as if she’d read his mind.

He tried to convince himself that her words were true, but self doubt was getting the better of him and he had to push it aside. He wasn’t going to fail Kaeya again.

He swallowed hard and turned back to his brother. The nurses had helped him dress and he was sitting on the edge of the bed, swaying and wheezing slightly from the exertion of getting ready. He suddenly looked confused and panicked.

“W-why can’t-t I h-hear?! What-t h-happened-d? You’re hurt-t!” He squinted at the sling across Diluc’s shoulder, and Diluc was glad they had chosen the evening to travel. Kaeya's eye was still too sensitive to light.

It hadn’t been an hour since Diluc had explained what had happened and that they were going home, but it was likely that Kaeya had already forgotten again. Diluc sat on the bed next to his brother and showed him the page once more.

I’m fine.
You were hurt on a mission.
Your hearing will return, it’s going to be ok.
We are going home.

“H-home? With y-you?” Kaeya asked for the hundredth time.

Diluc nodded and Kaeya smiled at him. Diluc let out a breath he’d been holding. His brother, even with his tear stained face, looked genuinely happy to be going with Diluc.

“The knights are prepared to escort you, when you are ready.” Jean said to Diluc before taking Kaeya’s hand and giving it a squeeze.

Diluc directed Kaeya’s arm over his shoulder and wrapped his own arm around his brother’s back and under his arm, careful to avoid his ribs. They slowly stood together. Diluc made sure to give the bluenette time to adjust, he knew the world was probably spinning for him.

When Kaeya finally reopened his eyes and evened out his breathing, they began their journey home.

~xxxxxxxxxx~

Kaeya wasn’t sure where they were going. They were walking at what seemed like a snail’s pace past Springvale, but he couldn’t remember how they got here.

Diluc was with him, as well as some knights. His brother was helping him walk, though his legs seemed fine, he was dizzy and it felt like someone was trying to stab their way out of his head. He could feel Diluc’s shoulder shaking under his hand and noticed the strap across the redhead’s back. He was wearing a sling, Kaeya realized and tried to push away, sucking in a sharp breath when a painful pressure spread through his right arm and pulled on his ribs.

“D-Diluc, your s-shoulder?” He asked.

Then it hit him. He couldn’t hear anything. Movements, talking, night-time wildlife that usually filled the air with sounds. His heart felt like it was trying to beat out of his chest. It took a moment to realize that Diluc was trying to get his attention and was holding a piece of paper for him to look at. It was a little smudgy, no, his vision was a bit blurry. He brought it a little closer and squinted at it.

I’m fine.
You were hurt on a mission.
Your hearing will return, it’s going to be ok.
We are going home.

Hurt on a mission? He couldn’t remember being on a recent mission, let alone getting hurt. What had happened to Diluc, then? He doubted he’d get an answer to that one.

“I don’t-t r-remember a m-mission.” He said quietly as he felt tears sticking to his eyelashes. “I don’t r-r-remember!”

Diluc put a calming hand on his shoulder, but he couldn’t stop the rising panic. His short, sharp breaths pulled painfully at his ribs and the tears wouldn’t stop coming. Another page came into his field of vision-

You have a concussion, hearing loss,
broken ribs and a broken arm after you fell
in a rockslide. It’s all healing and it’s all
going to be ok. It’s all going to heal.
I’m here, Kaeya.
We’re going home.

He felt a warm arm curl around him, lead him away from the road and help him sit down against a tree. He could feel exhaustion tugging at him, pulling his teary eyes closed.

~xxxxxxxxxx~

Diluc was surprised they had made it just past Springvale. Kaeya’s last panic attack was just a little past the Mondstadt bridge. Now, the knights waited patiently, patrolling the area while their captain rested, clinging to Diluc. They were good about giving them some space when Kaeya needed to stop. Diluc was grateful for the privacy and he knew his brother would be. They were respectful, he would give them that.

This wasn’t the first time that his sling had caught Kaeya’s attention, setting off his panic when he realized that he couldn’t hear and was in pain himself. Diluc had tried removing it, but it had been quite painful and caused a setback in its healing. He couldn’t afford to make it worse again, not while his brother needed him. It was better to just take care of himself and heal faster.

They would need to get moving again soon to make it home before the sun came up. Diluc shook Kaeya gently, but he barely stirred.

“Kaeya, you need to wake up, we need to get moving.” He said. He knew it was pointless, but talking to Kaeya aloud made him feel better.

He shook the sleeping man again, this time his eye slowly opened and he took in his surroundings. He released Diluc’s coat and looked up at him.

“L-Luc…?” He slurred.

Diluc watched his eyes go wide again, but had the papers ready to show Kaeya.

He watched his brother take in the information once again and the bluenette tried taking deep breaths to try and calm himself, wincing with each large inhale. It didn’t stop the tears, but he was a little more calm than he had been most times.

“I-I’m s-sorry.” He said, looking at Diluc.

Diluc smiled and shook his head no, squeezing Kaeya’s arm lightly before standing. He reached his hand out to his brother and carefully pulled him up, Diluc pulled Kaeya’s arm back over his own shoulder to help him stay upright. He let the bluenette stretch some and to give the signal that he was ready to walk.

Though they were both exhausted, Kaeya was able to make some steady progress this time. The knights cleared ahead of them, ensuring their safety. By the time Kaeya had forgotten everything again, the winery was just up ahead. Diluc had been able to calm him fairly quickly by showing him the notes and pointing to Adelinde and Elzer waiting for them just up the path. It didn’t help much, but it was enough to get him going before he fell asleep again.

Diluc knew it must be frustrating for Kaeya, receiving some information about what was wrong with him, but not having his own answers and memories to match. That alone would have a huge emotional impact on anyone, let alone someone with a bad head injury that was already affecting their mental state.

On a normal day, Diluc didn’t consider himself a patient person anymore, not like he used to be. Watching Kaeya be unable to retain his memory was harder than he could have ever imagined, but this was far from a normal situation and he needed to be patient for his brother. Diluc was afraid for Kaeya. Afraid that he’d never be the same and afraid that he wouldn’t be good enough to help his brother, but he would do this for the rest of their lives if he had to.

Kaeya will be fine. He repeated it in his head, over and over. Kaeya will be fine.

“Master Diluc, everything is ready.” Adelinde brought him out of his thoughts. She turned to Kaeya and gave him a slip of paper.

We’re so glad to have you home!

Kaeya stared at the paper for a moment before he responded, “A-Adelinde, Elz-zer, it’s-s always good to see-e y-you.”

Adelinde gave Kaeya a big smile and Diluc watched him closely. He seemed to be fighting with his confusion, trying to figure out why he was here, what was going on, trying not to cry. Watching the normally smooth-talking, eccentric, quick thinking man struggle -watching his little brother struggle so much- without being able to help, aside from holding up papers repeatedly was draining to say the least. He couldn’t imagine what Kaeya was going through.

Diluc pulled Kaeya forward gently to get him walking again. By the time they entered the house, Kaeya’s eyes were closing and he was beginning to lean on Diluc more. Diluc coaxed him up the stairs and towards his old bedroom. Kaeya had already stayed at the winery a few times since Diluc’s return, so the room had been ready, for the most part. They had moved a small bed in for Diluc, just inside the door, more pillows had been added to Kaeya’s bed and an extra layer had been added to the drapes to make it darker.

Diluc guided Kaeya to the bed and helped him sit slowly. Kaeya was already half asleep and mostly unaware of his surroundings. Adelinde had retrieved a wrapped bag of ice and a cup of water, with some effort they got some medication into the bluenette and guided him back onto the pillows that were arranged so his upper body would be lying at an incline and put the pack of ice across his ribs, Kaeya barely even flinched. He was already wearing loose clothes, comfortable enough to sleep in for the night. Diluc pulled off his brother’s boots and pulled the covers up. Kaeya was completely oblivious to most of it.

Diluc looked at the other bed for a moment, he’d had it put in the room so that if Kaeya were to need anything in the night, or when he inevitably woke up confused, Diluc would be right there. Instead, he slowly pulled one of the arm chairs over to Kaeya’s bed. He lowered himself into it, pulled off his boots and propped his feet up on the bed. Kaeya wouldn’t likely be able to get up without his brother knowing. Diluc had been constantly worried about Kaeya wandering off, being able to slip past him, while confused and falling down the stairs or getting lost outside. Perhaps he was being over protective, there were other people looking out for him here, too, but his brother was in no condition to fight. Being alone would be dangerous and Diluc wasn’t willing to risk it.

Diluc had already dozed off when he felt a blanket being draped over his legs. He opened his eyes a crack to see Adelinde standing by him, looking over Kaeya.

“It was a long trip.” Diluc mumbled, “It was hard on him.”

Adelinde looked at Diluc with a raised eyebrow, “He’s not the only one, I believe.” When he didn’t respond, she continued, “It’s ok to be upset and worried, even angry. It’s normal and you don’t have to keep it locked up inside. We’re here to help both of you.”

She stepped over to the extra bed and grabbed one of the small pillows, “I don’t suppose you’re actually going to use this bed, are you?” Again, Diluc didn’t respond. “Sleeping in that chair isn’t going to do anything to help your shoulder, but I suppose it’s pointless to try and convince you to do otherwise…” She tucked the pillow between the chair and his shoulder.

“Thank you again, Adelinde.” He said quietly, letting his eyes slide shut again.

“Good night, my sweet boys.” She whispered on the way out.

~xxxxxxxxxx~

Kaeya found himself staring at a ceiling. Actually, he was pretty certain it was the ceiling of his room at the winery, it was hard to say for sure, with how blurry it was. Had he been visiting Diluc? He didn’t remember coming here. He didn’t even remember making any recent plans to visit. Perhaps he’d been drunk, although he'd been trying to cut back on his drinking. He didn’t like that it worried Diluc so much. That didn’t mean he didn’t drink at all, but he didn’t feel hungover. He felt more like a house had landed on him, like he’d been fighting- and lost.

He let his eyes wander around the familiar room. There was some light hitting the floor from under the curtains, sending pain through his head. He could make out a standing mirror, an armoire, an armchair- there were supposed to be two- a small bed by the door -since when had that been there- and… ah, there was the missing chair. He could make out a blob of bright red hair sticking out from a blanket and feet stretched across to the bed he was lying on. It had always made him feel safe when Diluc would watch over him after a nightmare when they were kids. It was something his brother had started the very same night he’d been taken in. He was sick and weak from being in the cold rain and without food for days.

He had been starved before his so-called father had left him, having hardly been fed for weeks just so he could hurt people that he didn’t want to hurt. As the years passed, he’d come to believe it was nothing more than a sadistic way to abandon him.

He tried to push those terrible memories aside as his vision became more blurred and his body shook involuntarily. He hated his life before the Ragnvindr’s and he couldn’t stand to think about it, but right now he couldn’t stop. He could feel it all over again. The hunger making his whole body hurt and shake, making his ribs feel like they were trying to pull themselves from his weak, shaking body. How he cried every night wishing that he would just die since his first family must hate him and so he wouldn’t have to hurt anyone. Thinking how it would be better for everyone if he were just gone.

He felt hands on his face, pushing his hair back and wiping at his tears, holding his hand. He couldn’t stop. He didn’t notice the pinch in his ribs as he was carefully pulled forward and warm arms wrapped around him, rubbing circles on his back. He clung to that warmth as if his life depended on it.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been crying, but his eyes slowly ran dry. His throat was scratchy and each cough sent pain through his head and side. When he finally opened his eyes there was red hair next to his face. After a few more minutes, he pulled away, ignoring the protest from his ribs.

Kaeya watched as Diluc silently poured a cup of water and pressed it into his left hand. That silence made him nervous. If Kaeya were so drunk that he had ended up here and couldn’t control his emotions, Diluc would usually have something to say about it, and would most likely be angry, in fact. The redhead didn’t look angry at all, he looked sad.

Kaeya looked down at the cup in his hand and noticed the cast over his right arm. When had this happened and how could he have not known about it? His brain couldn’t seem to catch up with reality. He was used to thinking quickly, calculating an entire situation before it even happened and knowing the most likely outcome, and he was usually right. Why couldn’t he wrap his mind around this?

Diluc had been so quiet, patiently waiting for Kaeya to calm down.Taking a few drinks, Kaeya looked up at his brother. Even with a blurry eye he could see the man was tired, slightly hunched to one side and dark circles under his eyes.

“W-what happened-” He could feel the vibrations of his voice, but he couldn’t hear it. Panic began to rise in him, squeezing his chest, “Luc, w-what happened?!”

Diluc put a hand on his arm and said something he couldn’t hear before he showed him a piece of paper. He squinted at it to make out the words.

“R-really, a rock-k s-slide?! I c-could have at l-least been taken out-t b-by the en-nemy. I-I got taken-n d-down by DIRT.” He pouted.

Shock flashed across Diluc’s face, eyes wide and mouth open, before he started laughing.

He pointed at the redhead, “S-sure, laugh a-all-l y-you want, it c-could be you s-someday!”

He so wished he could hear that laugh, but it was still wonderful just to see it.

Diluc handed him another piece of paper.

You’ll hear me laugh again.
I promise.

Had he said that out loud? Regardless, Kaeya knew this wasn’t something his brother could actually promise and he wouldn’t hold it against him if his hearing never returned, why would he? It was the meaning behind the words that he could see. Diluc wasn’t going to leave him.

The door to his room opened and Adelinde and Hillie came in, each carrying a tray. Adelinde gave him a smile and he could see her say what he thought was “Good morning” as she set her tray over his lap. It was a simple breakfast, some fruit, toast and some juice.

“T-thank you, A-Adel-linde. I-it’s good to s-see you.” He smiled.

She gave his shoulder a squeeze, turned to Diluc and saw her “lecturing pose” as she said something and pointed to the chair he was sitting in, before both maids left the room.

Diluc took a bottle from the night stand and held out two tablets for him to take. Kaeya cringed. He hated pain medication, but he couldn’t deny that he needed it right now.

Kaeya tried to eat a little, he knew he probably needed it. His stomach didn’t agree, churning as he nibbled on some toast. He looked over at Diluc, the redhead wasn’t doing much better.

His head was starting to feel too heavy at this point and he let it fall back onto the pillows as he watched his older brother push his food around his plate, a habit he’d picked up long ago to try to make it look like he ate more than he did. While he didn’t like that Diluc wasn’t eating right, a small smile crept onto his lips. He had been afraid for so long that nothing about Diluc was the same, that nothing was left of the sweet young man he once was. However, as his brother let him back into his life more, he was able to see under the angry and anxious top layer. Diluc was still in there and that was comforting.

Like a switch his mind flipped to what he’d been trying so hard not to think about, his hearing. What if it never came back? He doubted they would let him continue to be a knight, he wouldn’t be able to hear threats while out on patrol and what use is a Cavalry Captain who can’t take on patrols or handle other situations? Would they let him have a desk job, sorting paperwork every day? Or would they dismiss him?

He didn’t realize that his breathing had picked up, or that Diluc had taken notice until his brother’s arms were around him once more, rubbing circles on his back. He let himself sink into the comfort. He squeezed his eye shut, small sobs escaping his lips until sleep claimed him once more.

~xxxxxxxxxx~

Diluc held onto Kaeya until long after he’d fallen asleep. He gently laid him back on the pillows and sat back in his chair. Even though Kaeya had fallen asleep crying, like many other times, he’d been awake for quite a while, seemingly without as much effort.

Furthermore, for the first time since the accident, Kaeya hadn’t broken down crying immediately when he was told about his injuries AND his memory didn’t reset itself while he was awake. These were improvements he’d hoped for, but not expected. He didn’t dare make expectations, he couldn’t handle it right now if things didn’t get better.

He dried his own face before standing and stretching, a pained noise left him when it pulled hard on his shoulder and the bruised muscles made themselves known. He’d pulled off the sling when he needed both arms to help Kaeya. Adelinde had not been happy and he’d be in trouble if she came back and he still didn’t have it on.

He carefully slipped the sling back on just as Adelinde came in with a fresh ice pack and laid it carefully across Kaeya’s ribs before turning to Diluc, who avoided her gaze.

“You didn’t eat much.” She said, looking over his tray, “And you didn’t take your pain medication either. Surely your shoulder must be bothering you.”

“I’m fine.” Diluc said.

Really, it still hurt to breathe, he wasn’t going to admit it. Unfortunately, Adelinde knew better. She started to pull the sling back off.

“What- wait! What are you doing?” Hissing as his attempt to get away backfired.

Adelinde put her hands on her hips, “You haven’t even taken off your coat. Either I can knock you out and take care of it, or you can cooperate now.” She said as she glared at him.

He didn’t like the glare. He, Kaeya and even their father had a fear of that glare, but she hadn’t yet seen the mess that his shoulder was and if she wasn’t happy before, this certainly wouldn’t help. He let her help with the sling, then his coat, biting his lip to try and stay quiet. He knew she could see the swelling through his shirt when she tsked at him, but she let out a worried gasp when the injury came into full view.

It was a variety of colors, red, black, blue, purple, yellow- it was practically a rainbow, spanning across most of his back, down his arm and part way down his side, and the swelling was actually worse than it had looked under the shirt. He let out a squeaky whimper -that he would forever deny- when she barely brushed over the edge of the bruise.

“Master Diluc! I can’t believe you didn’t let me know it was this bad- nevermind, I CAN believe it. We should have been icing it at the very least!” She lectured.

“It’s not as bad as it looks…” He tried, though he knew it was pointless.

She pointed at the chair, “Sit. Don’t even think about moving.” She said as she walked out the door, taking the sling with her.

She returned a few minutes later with a clean shirt for him, an ice pack and a large bandage. She helped him with the shirt, then put the ice to the worst area of his shoulder and used the bandage to wrap it so it stayed on.

“We’re going to be replacing that frequently. We need to get that swelling to come down some.” She handed him the pain tablets from his tray and a glass of water. He swallowed them obediently.

When she continued to stare at him with her arms crossed, he started to worry, but he didn’t say anything. Finally, Moco came through the door, carrying the sling. It had another long strap of material attached now. She helped him put it on, then pulled the extra material around his torso and tied it out of reach in the back, strapping his arm to his chest and immobilizing it.

“But I can’t move it!” He complained, not sounding anything at all like a child.

Adelinde smiled, “That’s the point.” She said as she observed her handiwork. “It’s not going to get any better if you don’t stop using it, at least for a time.”

He sighed and nodded in defeat.

“It seemed like Master Kaeya was… slightly better, perhaps?” She asked hopefully.

“I’d say a little better.” He agreed, “It’s just- at this point, it’s hard not to think it was just a fluke.”

Adelinde let out a small hum, “Well, even if it was this time, he’s going to get better. He’s a fighter.” She said confidently.

Diluc nodded again and she carefully tucked a small pillow between his shoulder and the chair again. “You should rest more, you need it too.” She said as she left.

Diluc wasn’t usually indecisive, but his mind couldn’t seem to wrap itself around what was happening. He was trying his hardest to be there for his brother, to be as confident as everyone else seemed to be, to not let the darker side of his mind have any sort of control. Instead, one moment he was telling himself that Kaeya would be fine, the next he was worrying for the bluenette if he wasn’t.

He felt like he was failing.

He propped his good arm on the armrest of his chair and covered his face with his hand, trying to hide away, even if only for a minute. He was shaking with anxiety, this was nothing new after all he’d gone through. He’d been careful to hide any panic attacks away from everyone, even Adelinde and Kaeya. He knew they could probably guess, they were close to him and dealt with his worsening mood until he would have no choice but to hide away from everyone for as long as it took to close that fissure of stress and memories back up. He knew Kaeya would absolutely understand that type of attack and probably even try to help him, but this anxiety was different.

It’s not that he hadn’t felt it before, he had many times. It was the same anxiety he felt when he’d comfort his new little brother after nightmares or was sick, the same as when Kaeya had nearly drowned, as when he’d been bullied for being different or was glared at by the very few unaccepting citizens of Mondstadt and every single time Kaeya had been hurt. It was the same anxiety he’d felt the moment he realized he’d blacked out from rage and hurt Kaeya so, so badly. He didn’t have a name for this anxiety that consumed him every time his brother was involved. He didn’t have a name for how this anxiety laid his heart bare to the elements. From the moment he’d become a big brother, this anxiety existed and he wouldn’t change it for the world.

Kaeya mumbled in his sleep before promptly snoring, helping Diluc back from being trapped in his own head. He reached for Kaeya’s hand and laid his head back, closing his eyes.

Sometimes he thought Adelinde knew his and Kaeya’s limits better than they did.

~xxxxxxxxxx~

Kaeya became aware of a hand holding his own, but he didn’t feel like opening his eye just yet. It felt like Crepus’ hand. Warm, comforting, calloused and strong, but gentle. He knew it wasn’t his father’s hand, it couldn’t be, but he had an idea of who it belonged to.

He let himself drift a while longer, until he felt the other hand shift. He slid his eye open to see Diluc sitting himself up in a chair next to him. He looked like he was just waking up as well. His pony tail was sloppy, flopping back and forth as he stretched his neck. Kaeya laughed to himself. Or he thought he did, since Diluc’s head shot up to look at him.

Diluc opened his mouth, about to speak, but Kaeya cut him short, “P-papers…”

He didn’t know why he said it, but he was startled by something else - he hadn’t heard himself say it. Something about that was familiar to him, right at the edge of his memory, but just out of reach. His mind was too foggy to answer his questions. He realized Diluc was trying to get his attention, pointing to a piece of paper.

Do you remember?

Kaeya looked at his brother, taking in his appearance. He was obviously tired with dark circles under his eyes and the hand holding out the paper was shaking, he was also wearing a sling with his left arm tied down to his chest. He could only guess what the redhead had done to get himself tied up. He could tell he was in his room at the winery, which seemed to pull at his memory as well, but he still couldn’t quite grasp those memories.

He shook his head, “N-no? I… I d-on’t know.”

He swallowed hard, trying to push the panic down.

“Dirt.” He said suddenly, causing Diluc to smile slightly and nod at him.

A rockslide.

“I don-t r-remember.”

Concussion.

“Caus-sing memory loss and… h-hearing?”

Diluc nodded slowly.

He could feel his eyes watering, but he refused to let any tears fall. “How-w long ago?”

Diluc looked at him for a long moment before he wrote, Kaeya couldn’t read the look on his face.

Two weeks and two days.

So long ago? What had happened in that time? His heart was starting to beat like he was running, causing him to suck in short breaths and pinching his ribs each time.

“Is this-s the first-t t-ime I’ve been a-awake?” He tried to get used to feeling his words instead of hearing them.

Diluc shook his head no.

Just under two weeks.

Kaeya closed his eye, wrapping his head around the information. He couldn’t remember almost two weeks when he should. He realized if he was at the winery that his other injuries must be improving.

“A-are… are they g-going to come b-back?” He asked, afraid of the answer.

Yes! They already are.

…

It’s going to be ok.

A few tears finally made their way down Kaeya’s face. He doubted they could know for sure if he’d ever be able to hear again or if his memory would fully return, but he tried to focus on what Diluc had said. Things had started to get better and if he let this get to him it wouldn’t help. Maybe that was easier said than done, but he wasn’t going to give up without a fight..

He finally looked up at Diluc. He was biting his bottom lip and looked more outwardly worried than Kaeya had seen since they were teens.

Two weeks. He felt nauseous. Had Diluc even been sleeping in that time? Had he been eating and taking care of himself as well? He doubted it, not unless he had been forced to. At least being home, Adelinde was likely making him do what was needed.

“What-t happened to y-your arm?” He asked.

He wasn’t sure if Diluc was going to answer, but he started writing a moment later:

Anemoboxer hit
my shoulder.
Adelinde tied
me up.

Ouch. His brother could take a hit, he knew that, but being punched by one of those boxers wasn’t something most people got up from. He was thankful Diluc was so stubborn.

Kaeya had avoided asking, but at this point curiosity was getting the better of him, “H-how many t-times have y-you shown me these signs?” He picked at the cast on his arm, “How-w m-any times have you had t-to r-remind me of what h-happened?” He winced. Talking was starting to send sharp little pains through his right ear.

Diluc tilted his head to the side before shaking it “no” and writing:

It doesn’t matter.
Only matters that
you get better.

He started writing again.

You don’t need to talk.
I can see it’s hurting you.
Want to walk?

Kaeya nodded with a smile. A walk sounded wonderful, anything to get out of bed, if only for a short time. As they worked together to put on his shoes and Diluc helped him stand from the bed, he realized they must have done this before. His brother helped him up without many problems, even with only one arm available. Obviously a practiced move by this time.

He was able to stand without his legs giving out, another sign they had been helping him exercise. Diluc brought his good shoulder next to Kaeya and directed him to lay his arm across it. He didn’t protest, he was dizzy, but he wasn’t going to back out of an opportunity to leave this stuffy room.

Progress was slow down the stairs, it was brighter in the main rooms and he had to squint a little and let Diluc guide him. Adelinde was waiting at the bottom of the stairs for them and Kaeya watched as she spoke to Diluc, trying to understand what she was saying. Lip reading was never his forte, regardless of what he liked to tell others.

Diluc helped him to the dining table and sat to Kaeya’s left. The table was already set for dinner and it was only a moment before food was brought out. Cream stew and some bread with butter, one of his favorite meals and one he could eat without help.

He wasn’t able to eat much, but he felt full. He had a bad habit of not eating well and unfortunately Diluc had noticed some time ago. His brother had started inviting him over for meals at the winery, where he knew Adelinde would make him eat more and take leftovers. Kaeya had caught onto what Diluc was doing early on, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be annoyed with him. Kaeya knew it was one of the ways his older brother was trying to take care of him and he wasn’t going to argue with it if it meant he was able to see Diluc and visit the winery more. He was happy with how far they had both come already.

“Y-you’re quiet t-tonight.” Kaeya said suddenly, looking over at the redhead.

The incredulous look Diluc gave him was worth every stabbing pain the laughing caused.

After dinner, he and Diluc went out and sat on the benches for a short time. He was tired and his head was becoming fuzzy. Now that he didn’t have anything to keep occupied, his hearing and memory issues were making themselves known once more and he wasn’t able to stop the tears from overtaking him this time.

He felt a comforting arm move over his shoulder, then he was pulled into a hug. After a time, he didn’t remember why he was crying, only that he was upset and couldn’t stop. He wasn’t completely aware, but he knew he was moving at some point, being helped up stairs and then laying down.

He couldn’t keep his eyes open, both physically and mentally exhausted.

~xxxxxxxxxx~

Diluc struggled up the stairs with Kaeya.

Even though he had been upset a few times while he was awake, he had been so much better than the last few days, and Diluc was practically giddy that his brother had remembered something and his speech seemed slightly less slurred. They had been home for three days and improvements in his health had become clear. Seeing his brother struggle was still painful to watch, but Diluc was becoming more confident that Kaeya would get better.

As he helped his brother lay down, Adelinde came in with the routine ice packs for both of them, laying the one for Kaeya across his side before turning to Diluc and giving him a look. She’d given him the same stern look any time she felt he’d done too much with his shoulder, but she had at finally said she’d start letting him sleep without the sling. He was sore and still badly bruised, but he couldn’t keep it tied down forever.

She tucked the usual pillow between his back and the chair and handed him a letter. Jean had been letting him know that things were running smoothly and that everyone had been sending well wishes of a speedy recovery for the Cavalry Captain. He read it aloud to his sleeping brother, not caring that Kaeya wouldn’t hear him either way. It helped Diluc release some of his own pent-up anxiety.

Klee had been asking about Kaeya and Kaeya had asked about her several times, too. He knew how much his brother enjoyed spending time with the tiny pyromaniac, but right now, Klee couldn’t understand the extent of Kaeya’s injuries and after some discussion with Kaeya, he got the impression that he wasn’t ready for Klee to see him this way. Not yet.

If luck stayed on their side and Kaeya kept improving, he hoped to have Klee come to the winery and visit. She saw Kaeya as a big brother and frankly, Diluc thought that was adorable. The two of them would definitely need supervision though, most of their excursions ended with something or someone getting blown up.

Tucked behind the letter was another piece of paper, a drawing for Kaeya from Klee. It was a depiction of Kaeya and herself standing by Cider Lake on a sunny day, with not only flying birds and a rainbow in the sky, but several fish being flung through the air within a large splash of water. Upon looking closer, on the right side, by a tree, was a redheaded figure with their arms crossed, but a big, silly smile on their face.

Diluc laughed out loud. He knew Klee called him “Weird grown-up”, but he was honored to be a part of her picture. She was a sweet girl, smart and kind to those around her, even the weird ones. He had been with Kaeya when Klee came up to Kaeya and he explained that Diluc was his brother. She’d been ecstatic that she not only just got a new brother, but one with a pyro vision, like her.

He set the picture on the end stand for Kaeya to see when he was awake and looked at the letter again. He hadn’t been going out on his own nightly patrols and some monster activity had picked up, but Albedo had offered to take up Kaeya’s duties and was working on clearing things back out. He snorted at the thought that Klee called him weird, but not Albedo. To say he was odd would be an understatement, but he took good care of Klee and got along with Kaeya, as well as being one of the more competent knights.

Kaeya’s breath hitched in his sleep and he let out a groan of pain. He moved his head to the right and pressed his ear to the pillow, grimacing. Yes, definitely in pain. Diluc moved to sit on the bed next to him and started trying to wake him. Kaeya brought his hand to his ear to try and cover it, but was unsuccessful with the cast in the way.

He let out a short whine and gritted his teeth, “ R-ringing -loud!” he managed.

Diluc wasn’t sure what to do. He carefully put a hand over each of Kaeya’s ears, he didn’t think that would really help, but the contact seemed to calm him slightly. Kaeya opened his eye just a crack for a moment and looked at Diluc before closing it again.

“Kaeya, can you hear me? Kaeya?”

He didn’t even twitch at his name being called and seemed to have fallen asleep again. Diluc slowly let go of his brother’s face, taking care not to startle him, and sat back. Had Kaeya been able to hear, or had he been having a dream? Whatever the case, he couldn’t seem to hear Diluc. He didn’t realize how closely he was watching Kaeya for any reactions until Adelinde came in with some water, making him jump and immediately curl in on himself.

Adelinde looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “Master Diluc, are you alright?” She asked as she grabbed the small pillow from behind him and made him sit back.

Diluc let out a long breath, “Yes, it’s just… Kaeya was grabbing at his right ear and said something about ringing. He looked at me, but I’m not sure he was even awake and… it’s been almost three weeks…” He said, never taking his eyes off of his brother.

“Ringing? You think he was dreaming?” She walked over to Kaeya and looked him over, making sure he was comfortable.

“I-I don’t know. We’ll ask him when he wakes up.” Diluc shook his head, “I think he had a good day, Adelinde. It really seemed like he was a little better.”

She nodded in agreement, “I think so too! He’ll get there, he’ll be ok. He’s strong and he won’t give up and neither will we.” She looked at Diluc closely, “Now, try to get some rest.”

He stared at Kaeya long after Adelinde had left, watching for any twitch or indication that the bluenette might hear something -anything.

He stared until his eyes decided they’d had enough and closed of their own accord.

~xxxxxxxxxx~

Over the next few days Kaeya’s speech and memory had improved quite a bit, He’d also been staying awake for longer intervals and having a slightly easier time moving on his own, seeming to have fewer dizzy spells. Diluc still stuck right by his side, unwilling to let him fall. If Kaeya was annoyed by this he didn’t say anything.

Diluc had asked him about the ringing, but Kaeya didn’t remember and he hadn’t been able to hear anything yet. He was still upset every time he realized he couldn’t hear again, and who wouldn’t be, but he had been able to reign in his emotions.

Kaeya was working hard to make progress and Diluc was proud of him, not that he’d expected anything different from the bluenette, but there had been times when the future seemed bleak and he couldn’t imagine making it to this point.

As for Diluc, he was still using his sling, but Adelinde had stopped securing it to his chest -not before threatening that if he overdid it she’d put the strap right back on.

Tonight, as they sat at the table for dinner, Diluc watched Kaeya. He seemed slightly dazed and tired. Diluc had expected this, it had been a long and tiring day for his brother. The nurse’s check-up went well and she was pleased with his progress, but not only did the check-ups tend to take a harder toll on Kaeya, Klee had also been to visit.

After dinner he had started to walk Kaeya to his room to get some rest, but his brother refused and asked to sit in their father’s study instead and chose a book for Diluc to read to him. He had asked to do this a few times now, Diluc suspected it comforted him and he didn’t question it.

He read to Kaeya as he watched his eyes drooping.

~xxxxxxxxxx~

Kaeya was exhausted. He was starting to remember some things, but it was always bits and pieces that made no sense out of context. At times, it was like finding a random piece of a puzzle without a picture to work off of and nothing to connect it to.

Tired as he was, he didn’t want to go to sleep. He was starting to feel like that was all he did, though his body didn’t give him much choice. His ribs were aching from walking and sitting at the table and a visit from Klee. The long day was catching up with him, but he wasn’t willing to give in to sleep so easily. He wasn’t ready.

Instead, he asked to go to their father’s study. He needed the comfort it offered, the scent of old books and ink that he associated with Crepus. He needed his father, but this was as close as he could get.

While he chose a book for Diluc to read to him -and yes, he felt ridiculous for asking when he couldn’t even hear it- Diluc had made a stack of pillows on one side of a couch so Kaeya could lay across the seat comfortably.

He watched his brother’s mouth move as he read to him, just like when they were kids, before Kaeya had learned to read. He had started to doze off when he heard a muffled sound. His eye flew open and his head shot up. It stopped as suddenly as it had started. He looked at Diluc, who was looking at him as if to ask if he was ok. He must have been imagining it while being somewhere between sleep and awake.

Kaeya nodded and tapped the book for him to keep reading. He laid his head down and closed his eyes. The sound started again a moment later.

This time, Kaeya opened his eye, but didn’t move his head. It was Diluc’s reading. He couldn’t understand the words, but he could hear his brother’s muffled voice. Diluc stopped reading again when he noticed Kaeya taking in short breaths and tears sliding down his face.

“No! D-don’t s-stop reading, please!” He cried and Diluc looked worried and uncertain of what to do.

Diluc asked him something, Kaeya couldn’t understand the words.

“Try s-saying it louder and s-slower?” He asked and Diluc’s eyes got so wide they looked like shiny saucers.

“Hoo chn heer?!”

Kaeya nodded, a smile threatening to split his face in two. “Yes! It’s-s muffled, but I… I can hear s-sound!” He sobbed.

Diluc lunged forward, enveloping him in a hug and he hugged back, crying into Diluc’s shoulder.

~xxxxxxxxxx~

Two weeks later

Kaeya could hear. He could hear everything and it was wonderful.

He wouldn’t be able to come back to duty for a while longer, his other injuries hadn’t finished healing, but he would be able to resume light duty soon. He wasn’t really looking forward to that, it meant paperwork. If anyone asked, he’d swear Jean had an evil glint in her eyes when she told him that.

He remembered more about what happened, but only up to a certain point. He remembered that he was on a mission to check on a Fatui camp and had fallen instead, causing his injuries. He also remembered a small amount from after Diluc had taken him home, but he didn’t remember the time in between and he doubted he ever would.

Most importantly, the moment Diluc knew he could fully hear again he cornered him and they had a chat, as much of a chat anyone could have with the grumpy redhead, anyway-

~x~

“Technically, I wasn’t alone.” Kaeya said.

Diluc huffed, “Your back-up was all the way down the mountain, you were alone.” He said, trying and failing to comfortably cross his arms.

Kaeya took notice of this, of course, “Oh, and what exactly were you doing all the way up there, Master Diluc? Where was your back-up?”

“That’s beside the point, Kaeya,” He shot back before his expression softened, “You keep getting hurt every time you go on that Archons forsaken mountain. I don’t want to find that you aren’t coming back. I don’t want to… I can’t… I can’t lose you.” His voice finally cracked.

Kaeya wasn’t used to Diluc being this open about what he was feeling anymore, The redhead had started pushing any feelings aside rather than let them out. He knew their fight was the straw that broke the sumpter beast’s back after an already severely traumatizing day. This was something that Kaeya couldn’t forgive himself for.

“Please Kaeya, just promise me you’ll at least come find me before you go to Dragonspine, I’ll go with you. Just don’t go alone anymore. Promise me you won’t.” Diluc begged.

How was he supposed to turn that down? It wasn’t his goal to break his big brother even more, anyone who knew Diluc knew he didn’t need any more emotional baggage and Kaeya understood that better than most.

He finally nodded.

“I promise you that I will do my best not to go to Dragonspine alone.”

Kaeya could practically feel the tension that drained from Diluc.

“Besides, how could I pass up having you to do all the work?” He joked.

Diluc laughed and rolled his eyes.

He’d missed that laugh.