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Chapter Text

The stands of the arena were loaded with fans as the fighters took their positions.  The crowd cheered, their voices screeching louder and louder.  Stepping forward, King Cranky Kong raised his cane into the air, gesturing for silence.  “Alright, settle down!  That means you, Diddy Kong!” 

Seeing that he finally had the crowd’s attention, the ape king flopped back down on his portable throne.  “Two opponents will battle in the arena via random selection.  And just to make things more interesting, we’ve included some of the new power ups.  You know, the ones that started showing up after we all ended up in that weird human-filled world.  What was it called again?”  The king scratched his chin, before nodding. “Oh yeah, Brooklyn.  That’s right.  The human world of Brooklyn.”

“Actually, Brooklyn is just a borough in New York City…” Luigi quietly began to say.  

“Don’t care,” Cranky Kong grumbled, waving him away.  “Let’s get this fight started.  The first battlers will be…my son, Donkey Kong!”  Cheers erupted from every ape in the stands.  “And the little man with the mustache,” he commented offhand.  

“Mario,” the plumber grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Yeah, I finally get a chance to kick your butt in public again,” DK boasted, waving at his fans.  

“I won the last time,” Mario was quick to remind him.

“Only cause I let you, kitty cat,” the ape prince insisted. 

Mario glanced around the arena.  There were three regular gold power ups, and several oddly-colored power ups.  “Perhaps the black one,” the man muttered to himself, eyeing the shiny ebony finish on the box.  “Or the green one…” 

“BATTLE!”

DK raced toward him, forcing Mario to dodge under his arm.  “Pink it is!” Mario decided, raising his fist at the closest box.  Sparkles shot out of the box, raining down on him.  The vibrant pink light was so bright, everyone in the arena covered their eyes for a moment.  When the light died down, they could only stare in wonder at the plumber’s new power up.  

Donkey Kong nearly doubled-over in laughter.  “Awww, look at you.  You’re even more girly than your pinky princess.  Is that a wand?  What are you going to do with that?”  The ape finally got his laughter under control, and took a firm stance.  “I don’t need a power-up to beat that girly one you found.”

“Mario!  Are you a magical girl?” Luigi couldn’t help shouting.  It was as if the power-up was straight out of their anime video games.  

“Yep,” Mario said, lowering himself into a battle stance.  “Let’s a-go!” 

When the dust finally settled, Donkey Kong was face-down in the ring with Mario standing in the middle of his back, striking a kawaii pose.  “No… fair… I, whew, let you… win,” DK insisted, barely managing to heave himself off the ground.  

The red plumber rolled his eyes, tucking his wand into an unseen pocket on his dress.  “Whatever you say, prince charming.”  Stretching out his delicately gloved hand, he waited for the ape to shake it.  

“Ugh, fine,” DK groaned, after eyeing the other man’s hand for several long seconds.  He clasped the plumber’s hand, and gave it a quick shake.  “Don’t think this means I like you.”

“Right back at you,” Mario shot back.  “Only joking.  You know we’re BFFs forever!” The still-transformed magical girl/man turned his back on the ape, and shot up into the sky, landing with a graceful twirl next to Princess Peach.

“Oh, Mario.  You look darling!” Peach insisted.  “What do you call that power up again?” 

“The magical girl power up,” Mario chuckled, giving his girlfriend a curtsy.  

“Oooh, I can’t wait to try it myself,” the princess said.

“What’s a BFF?’ DK grumbled, stumbling back over to his father.  

“Alright everyone, settle down!” Cranky Kong shouted from his seat atop his portable throne.  He thrust his hand into the bag on his lap, fishing around for his prize.  Pulling out two slips of paper, he adjusted his glasses, and held the papers close to his face.  “The next fighters are King Bowser… Humph!  And… Luigi.  Who the heck is that?” 

“Um, I’m a-Luigi, Mr. King,” the string-bean of a man standing next to magical girl Mario said, giving a hesitant wave.  

“Really?  Well, this will be a short battle.  Try not to get yourself killed, boy,” snorted the ape king.  

Luigi glanced at the massive koopa storming his way into the ring.  A grin split over the koopa king’s face as he noticed the human watching him.  “Eep!” Luigi groaned.

A hand clasped the taller man on the shoulder.  “You can back out, Weegie.  No one will think any less of you,” Mario promised.

“That’s not true!” DK announced loudly.  

“Fight!  Fight! Fight!” the crowd chanted. 

“It’s-a-fine, Mario.  He’s just very…” Luigi’s gaze drifted over massive golden muscles, the striking red hair, and searing look in the koopa king’s eyes.  “Big… Goodness, he’s big.” 

“Try one of the new power ups, bro.  Any advantage is a good advantage,” Mario insisted.

Luigi followed his brother’s gaze to the green and black power ups floating in the ring.  “Well, I suppose it couldn’t hurt.”  The Italian steeled himself, and stepped into the ring, trying to ignore the shouts from the spectators watching as he approached the fearsome turtle dragon.  Wait, was Bowser a turtle or a dragon?  He had a shell like a turtle - just spikier.  But he breathed fire, like a dragon.  And his eyes… “Mama mia, I’m going to die,” Luigi couldn’t help whimpering to himself.  

“Oh, relax, greenie.  It’s just a tournament.  I’ll go easy on you - if you agree to hand over Princess Peach to be my bride,” said Bowser, throwing the pink princess a kiss.  

“Not-a going to a-happen,” Luigi said, taking his place.  

Bowser shrugged, flexing his muscles.  “Suit yourself.  Get ready to feel the burn, little man.” 

Chapter Text

Bowser tossed the plumber across the ring, grinning down at his dishevelled form.  “You denied my generous offer, so don’t think I’ll go easy on you, greenie.  Why don’t you just lie down, and give up?  I’m clearly going to win,” the koopa boasted.  

“I… I might win,” Luigi stammered, but he was well aware of how unevenly matched they were.  He hadn’t even managed to get a power up yet.  

The king scoffed.  “Yeah, not gonna happen, little man.  You should march that cute little butt off yours off to the stands - where you belong.” 

In the crowd, Mario (who was back to his old self) raised a brow.  “Hey, Bowser!  Are you-a flirting with my brother?” 

Bowser’s head whipped around, his intense gaze landing on his arch rival.  “What?  No.  It’s just that you humans tend to be small and cute.  Not you though - you’re just an annoying pain in my backside.”

That was all the distraction Luigi needed.  Darting to his feet, he reached one of the special power ups before Bowser had a chance to get in his way.  Thrusting his fist into the air, he hit the black box hovering above him.  The box erupted into black flower petals, engulfing the green plumber’s body, before showering down on the arena floor below.  Bowser blinked up at the strange black dress, complete with delicate white frills, that was floating down toward him.  Dainty black shoes tapped the ground as the little dress-wearing man landed softly across from the king.  

“Uh… That’s… ahem…” Bowser thrust out a hand, pointing at the human.  “That adorable outfit won’t distract me!  I’ll still win this battle!” 

Luigi smiled softly, grasping the corners of his skirt to lower into a gentle curtsy.  “As you desire, Master Bowser.  Shall we fight?” 

The koopa’s face immediately flushed bright red.  “Of course, we will.  Don’t expect me to go easy on you.” 

The plumber tilted his head, drawing attention to the delicate white headband he was now wearing.  “Please don’t be too rough with me, master.” 

In the fighters area, Mario slapped a hand against his face with a groan.  “Luiiiiigi…” 

Bowser took a hesitant step forward, only to freeze as Luigi shouted, “Oh dear!  We can’t possibly fight on such a dirty floor.”  The crowd watched as the little man pulled out a broom from behind his skirts, and began sweeping the arena.  After clearing the area around him, he tucked the broom away, and produced a green checkered tablecloth from yet another secret pocket in his apron.  Laying it out on the ground, he began to set out a tea set, complete with steaming hot tea, napkins folded like swans, and even a tray of bite-sized cookies.  “Much better.”

“Uh… so, are we fighting…?” Bowser took several lumbering steps forward until he was towering over the picnic blanket.  The little man’s dress was now completely covering his legs, and his mustached face smiled up at the larger man.  

“Why don’t we have a nice cup of tea first, master…” the plumber said.  “Please sit.” He gestured with a silken glove toward the empty spot across from him on the blanket.  

“Uh, sure… I guess,” Bowser took a seat on the edge of the blanket as gently as he could.  Everything looked so delicate: the dishes, the snacks, the man in the black and white dress…

“Wonderful!”  

There was that cheery smile again.  And not even a hint of nervousness.  Bowser couldn’t help but feel as if he was in a dream.  Wait?  Was this a dream?  This couldn’t actually be real, could it?  Before he could say anything, the blue-eyed plumber was pouring him a cup of tea, and standing to deliver it to him.  

“I hope you enjo… Eeep!” 

Bowser ignored the scalding hot tea that hit his plastron, barely noticeable to a koopa who had lived around lava his entire life.  Instead, he quickly raised his arms to catch the little man tumbling toward him.  The human’s chest fell against his arm as he tumbled over the king’s knee, causing his skirt to flare up dramatically.  Bowser wrapped his free hand around the other man’s body, catching him more firmly.  

Squeeze!

Soft, Bowser thought.  He could definitely feel the silky texture of the material beneath his clawed hand.  Without thinking, he gave it another squeeze.  

“Master Bowser!” Luigi cried out, his cheeks flaring pink.

“Goodness,” Peach whispered, clasping her own reddened cheeks. Next to her, Mario pushed to his feet to shout, “Get your scaly hand off my brother’s butt!” 

“Uh…” Bowser pulled his hand back quickly, the blush returning to his cheeks as he rushed to pull the green plumber’s skirt back down to cover his rear.  “Didn’t mean to do that…” 

“It’s okay,” Luigi sighed, letting the koopa help him back to his feet.  “You just-a startled me.  Oh, and your tea…” He pulled out a white cloth from his pocket, and began dabbing at the liquid on the king’s chest. 

“It’s fine,” Bowser grumbled half-heartedly. 

“And on your snout, too.  Goodness, I’m so-a clumsy,” the man groaned.  He reached out, cupping Bowser’s cheek in one hand as he dabbed at his lips with the cloth.  Blue eyes blinked up at the king, before the plumber lowered his gaze.  “Apologies, master…” 

“We should go out sometime.  For like, coffee or something.  If you want to,” the koopa said quickly, rubbing the back of his head.  

“Oh…I’d like that,” Luigi whispered, his eyes sparkling with delight.  “But before we do… can you do something for me?” 

“Anything,” Bowser promised.  

“Lay down on your back.” At the koopa’s confused look, the plumber batted his eyes. “Please, for me.”

Bowser nodded, doing as he was asked.  Wait, weren’t they in the middle of a battle?  

“Wonderful,” Luigi said.  He reached into his skirts, and leapt into the air, doing a little twirl before landing gracefully on the koopa’s firm chest.  Twin katanas were now pointed directly at the king’s exposed plastron.  “Do you yield, your highness?” 

The king’s eyes widened, flickering from the mischievous smile now gracing the little man’s face, to the sharp swords barely touching his throat.  That sneaky little… Bowser grinned, flashing his teeth.  “I’m definitely taking you on a date now, Lu-igi.”

The little man’s cheeks turned to flame again, but he held his ground until the king admitted defeat.  With a nod, he jumped off the koopa’s chest, landing with a soft ‘click, clack,’ on the arena floor.

“Luigi is the winner!” Cranky Kong announced.  “

“So, what do you think the green box does?” 

Mr. L theme music starts to play :)