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Floyd rarely had nightmares. Coming from the Coral Sea, a place rife with terrors that could make any land creature cower in fear, he quickly got used to the violence and tragedy deeply rooted in merfolk culture. So much so that it takes a lot for him to get scared or panicked.
When was the last time he had a nightmare? Probably too young for him to remember now.
Which only makes his dreams about Azul’s overblot hurt even worse.
Ink as black as the ocean depths. Audible breaths that hiss menacingly in his ear. Heart-wrenching sobs. Icy blue eyes that glare at him in betrayal.
Blood and ink and blot mix together. Sticky. Viscous. He can’t get the feeling off his skin.
He hears Jade shouting, a desperate plea that raises alarm bells in his head. He has never heard Jade sound so scared before.
And Azul…
What was once such a comforting sight to him has mutated into something unrecognizable. Horrific. This isn’t the boy he loves. Azul would never look at him so coldly, no matter what he did.
He remembers trying to reason with Azul, to tell him to snap out of it, but he has no voice. He’s frozen to the spot, unable to do anything but watch as he kills everyone around him.
The last thing he sees is the glint of gold and Azul’s triumphant smirk as the trident pierces through him. When he wakes up, his cheeks are wet with tears.
He always goes to Azul’s room after a nightmare. Seeing his peaceful face, he can feel all the tension in his body ease just a little and he’d check his pulse, laying his head on his chest so he can find comfort in the steady beat of his heart. The rise and fall of his breathing.
Sometimes, Jade would be there before him.
“Another nightmare?” he asks, looming over Azul’s bed like a specter.
Floyd nods and Jade smiles, a haunted look in his eyes. “Likewise.”
“When will they stop?”
“I don’t know.” Jade looks down at Azul and brushes silver strands away from his face. A slight tremor passes through his hand.
“Oh.”
“At least he’s alive, right?”
“Yeah.”
It didn’t really sink in for him at the time, too caught up in the adrenaline of the moment to realize the gravity of what went down. But now that the danger has passed, all he can think about is Azul limp in Jade’s arms, so weak and frail and vulnerable. It doesn’t fit him. He’s not supposed to—he should never look like that.
Azul is supposed to be untouchable.
(If he died, he would never be able to hear Azul nag at him again. To see those pretty eyes light up whenever he gives him a gift, or touch those soft hands and kiss even softer lips. The colors he brought into his world would once again fade into gray.)
He could have lost him.
(If he died, Jade would never smile the same way. His laugh would ring hollow and his eyes would stare at something that’s not there, always glancing to the side and expecting another voice to respond. But there’s only silence.)
Ha! Imagine that? And to think, all because of a couple of small fry, Azul could have…
(If he died, a part of Floyd would have died with him.)
He doesn’t realize he’s crying until Jade pulls him down onto the bed, hand cradling his cheek and thumb wiping away his tears. He squeezes his eyes shut, the two of them curling against either side of Azul while clinging onto each other.
He knows Azul gets nightmares too. Sometimes he’d be awake when Floyd visited and he’d silently raise the covers of his bed, letting him slip in beside him. Other times, he’d knock on their door, eyes puffy from crying, and he’d ask if he could stay. As if Floyd could ever refuse him.
“Hate seeing you like this,” he whispers. They’re both lying down in bed, with Floyd laying his head on Azul’s chest like he usually does during these sleepless nights. “Specially since I can’t do anything about it.”
Lup-dup, lup-dup, lup-dup.
“Don’t say that, Floyd.” Azul’s voice comes out as a tired sigh and he runs his fingers through Floyd’s hair idly. “You’re here now, aren’t you? This is good enough for me.”
“Is it really?”
Azul is silent for a moment.
Lup-dup, lup-dup, lup-dup.
Still beating, he assures himself.
“Yes.”
“ Really really?”
That makes Azul laugh. “Yes, really. You know I’d tell you if I needed anything, right?”
Floyd hugs him tighter, a purr rumbling in his throat as Azul strokes under his chin. His favorite spot. “Mmhm.”
“So trust me. I won’t let this setback stop me—stop us. ”
And he was right. That didn’t stop him, not one bit. Even as he was recovering from his overblot, Azul was still able to do damage control for Octavinelle and the Mostro Lounge, going so far as to devise a new strategy for bringing in new customers while dealing with the pitying glances of his dorm and the loss of his contracts.
Floyd couldn’t be prouder. Yeah it’s kinda concerning, knowing Azul’s tendency to repress his feelings until he eventually snaps, but eh. He’ll be there to pick up the pieces when he breaks.
“He has always been rather resilient, no?” Jade muses. “Even back then, he never let anyone stop him from achieving his goals.”
“Wish he could stop and take a breather once in a while though,” Floyd drawls. “I feel tired just watchin’ him.”
“Well that’s what we’re here for. To catch him when he falls and support him every step of the way. Though I’m sure you already knew that.” Jade smiles and this time, there’s a more hopeful note to it. “Shall we, Floyd?”
He looks at Jade, then at Azul. He’s smiling, talking to the customers and showing them the latest point cards he designed. Constantly moving, like a shark that’ll die if it ever stops swimming. What a silly guy.
He’s about to call out to him when Azul catches his gaze. His smile falters and Floyd does a little wave from where he’s sprawled on top of the bar counter. Azul pauses, frowning. But then his lips curve up into a softer and more genuine smile, a familiar gesture reserved for him only, and Floyd feels himself fall in love with him again.
“Yeah.” He grins, straightening up and stretching his arms over his head. Beside him, Jade chuckles. “Time to get crackin'!”
Azul is counting on them, after all.