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“Mama mia!”
Luigi’s gasp of shock was enough to yank Mario out of his morning funk before he’d even had a sip of his coffee. Half dropping and half setting down the coffee pot he had been about to use to fill both his and Luigi’s mugs, he ran to the front door where Luigi had gone to check the mail.
He found his younger brother surrounded in dropped letters from the mailbox and holding a…
Well, it had to be an egg.
Yellow with green spots, and much more textured than any yoshi egg he’d ever seen.
“Lu, what—where did you get that?” Mario asked, stepping closer and relaxing slightly now that he was sure they weren’t under attack in their own home.
“A stork just handed it to me, said ‘Congrats dude’, and flew off.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Mario bent over and collected their mail before any of it blew away.
Luigi shrugged, running a hand over the egg, “No one’s ever told me that storks go around giving people eggs.”
“Well, come inside. We’ll have breakfast and then we’ll figure it out.”
Luigi nodded and turned to carry the egg inside, going to his bedroom and coming back with the egg swaddled in his green lap blanket. Mario raised a brow at his brother who flushed red, “What? It might be cold!” he said, hugging it protectively.
“It’s an egg.”
“Birds sit on their eggs to keep them warm. It’s not unheard of!”
“Okay, okay, calm down mama bear.” Mario teased. He really shouldn’t be surprised. It’s happened before when they were kids. Luigi had found a chicken egg one summer when they were staying out in the countryside. When it became apparent that the mother hen wasn’t coming back, Luigi had taken responsibility of taking care of the egg, and he’d been very protective of it. Caring for it until it hatched and they could find a home for the chick.
Luigi just stuck his tongue out at his brother before gently setting the swaddled egg down on the table next to his seat and began to make their breakfast as Mario poured their coffee and went through their mail.
“We’ve been invited by Peach to have tea and cake. We can ask her about the egg delivery.”
“Okie-dokie.” Luigi said, passing Mario his plate of breakfast.
That afternoon, the brothers made their way to the castle. Luigi, who refused to leave the egg that had been left in his care behind, had made one of his backpacks into an egg carrier to keep it safe and warm with him as they traveled. Mario only teased him about it a little before they left their house.
“Mario! Luigi! So glad you could make it!” Peach smiled when they walked in.
“Principessa, thank you for inviting us.” Luigi smiled with a little bow.
“Always a pleasure to see you again, Principessa.” Mario added.
“You can just call me Peach.” she laughed, “Come on, I have tea set up in the gardens, and I’ve tried a new recipe for the cake!”
“I’m sure it’ll be delicious! Your cakes always are.” Mario smiled, letting her lead the way.
As they walked, the brothers noticed that the toads around the palace were all talking excitedly amongst themselves.
“Is, ah, is something big planned? Everyone seems excited.” Mario observed after a while.
“Oh! No, nothing's planned. It’s just that a stork was spotted in Toad Town this morning, so everyone is excited and are making guesses at who got a visit! It is exciting news, after all.” she giggled, stepping out into her garden. A little table was set up for their tea and cake, and Mario hurried forward to pull out one of the chairs for the princess. “Oh, thank you.”
“What does it mean to get a visit from a stork?” Luigi asked, slipping his backpack off and carefully setting it down next to his own chair.
“Oh, I forget you two weren’t born in our world and your world works very differently than ours.”
“We’ve learned a lot, but every once in a while something throws us for a loop.” Mario chuckled.
She smiled and nodded, “Well, Storks are how we get babies! When two people who love each other very much and they get… close with each other, their love will sometimes manifest into a new little life! The storks deliver the new little one directly to the mother so that they can start taking care of and bond with their little one!”
The two brothers stiffened at that.
“Has a baby ever been delivered to the wrong person?” Luigi asked in a small voice.
“No, never. It’s unheard of! The storks know how to do their jobs. The only thing close to that is on the rare occasion that the stork gets injured and can’t finish the delivery themselves. So they find a trustworthy person to take over the job since it’s important the little ones get to their mama as soon as possible.”
“But what if it’s delivered to a man?” Mario pressed.
“Then he’s the mother, of course! While mothers tend to be women most of the time, it’s not unheard of for a man or nonbinary person to become a mother. It’s just a nice title for the person who receives the delivery! Normally it’s the one of the two with the strongest maternal instinct.”
“But what if it’s…an egg?” Luigi asked.
Peach paused at that question, “Uh, then I suppose one, if not both, of the parents are a species that have eggs, and the child will be taking after that side of the family. But we don’t really have people who receive eggs here in the Mushroom Kingdom so I’m not quite as knowledgeable on that… Why? It seems such a specific question to ask.”
“Mamma mia.” Luigi said, hiding his face in his hands.
“Luigi?” Peach asked, worried.
“This morning the stork visited Weegee as he went out to get the mail, and it gave him an egg.” Mario explained.
Peach’s eyes widened and she jumped to her feet, excitedly, “Oh! Luigi’s a mama! That’s wonderful! I assume you haven't gotten the chance to tell the father yet? Of course not, you didn’t know. The baby’s an egg, so you’re probably in a long distance relationship, right? I can let you send a letter to them with my express stamp, and we can invite them for a celebratory party! I’ll make a cake for it, and we can gift you the things you’ll need for taking care of the baby. Toys, blankets, diapers, bottles, onesies—the onesies , Luigi! They’re always so cute!”
“Wait, but this must be a mistake! The Stork had to be injured and wants Lu to deliver it the rest of the way or something! He’s single as a pringle, and—”
“No I’m not.” Luigi said in a small voice, cutting his brother off.
“What?”
“I’m not single.” he said as he pulled the backpack that held his egg up into his lap.
“But…you’re always home?”
Luigi shook his head, “I go on date nights all the time. You just always happen to also be busy. Off on an adventure, or visiting DK, or here at the castle with Peach. Some of the time I plan it that way so my dates don’t cut into brother time, you know? But I don’t just stay home alone when you’re gone.”
“You never said anything?”
“I...” Luigi sighed and shrugged, “I wasn’t sure how. It was so new that I wanted us to build our relationship up before we started telling people, and then I wasn’t sure how to tell you—and I wanted to tell you first because you’re my big bro, so I haven't told anyone yet…”
“Oh, Lu…” Mario smiled and reached over to place a comforting hand on his brother’s, “You don’t have to be nervous about telling me. Is it because you’re with a guy? Because I’m cool with you being gay or whatever. Doesn’t change who you are. Heck, I even suspected it after that time in high school I was looking for my math textbook, and found a deck of Chippendales playing cards under your bed! I’m happy for you if you’re happy.”
“What’s a Chippendales?” Peach asked.
“Hot shirtless dancer group of men.” Mario explained quickly.
“And I am happy!” Luigi insisted, “But—you can also be a tad over-protective, you know? I figured there was a chance that you’d hear that I have a boyfriend, you’d run off to punch him in the face.”
“Only if the guy breaks your heart.” Mario vowed. “So how did you meet?”
“Ah, well, I signed up for a pen pal program, and he was my partner. We wrote back and forth a few times before revealing our actual names—some rule the program had to lessen the chances of finding some creep showing up to people’s houses, I guess. The addresses were even coded for the program's mail service so we didn’t know where each other lived at first. Anyway, after getting to know each other well enough, we shared our real names, and decided to meet up as friends, and over time we just…really hit it off and became more than just friends. Oh, I did leave a note to you the first few times I met with him in case something happened to me, so don’t worry, I wasn’t reckless!”
“Do you have the egg with you?” Peach asked.
“Yes, I couldn’t leave it behind all alone!” Luigi said, opening his backpack and carefully shifting the blanket down to reveal the egg.
“Oh! It’s so cute!” Peach cooed, “Can I touch it?”
“Gently.” Luigi nodded, and the princess reached over to run her hand over the egg’s bumpy shell.
“Oh, it’s not nearly as smooth as I imagined!”
“I’m not dating a yoshi if that’s what you were thinking.”
“No, no, I figured that! But yoshi eggs are just what I think of when I think of eggs! Hmm, it’s also bigger than a yoshi egg, and there’s something familiar about the colors and texture…” she got a thoughtful look on her face.
“So, who is this secret boyfriend of yours, Lu? I need to meet the papa of my little nibbling.” he placed a hand on the egg.
Luigi flushed, “Uhm, well,”
“No!” Peach waved her hands between the brothers, “I want to guess!”
Mario laughed, “Guess I’ll wait until you have made your guesses before pressing Lu for the answer.”
“Good! This will be a fun mystery! Now, lets see… Lu confirmed the father is a boyfriend, not a girlfriend, so Daisy is out.”
“Daisy and I are just good friends! There was never anything romantic between us!” Luigi squeaked.
“I know that now! I didn’t know you preferred the gentlemen before! Anyway, Daisy’ out… and I’m pretty sure the beanish people didn’t get eggs, so Prince Peasley is also out.”
“He flirted just the one time and everyone thinks we should get together.” Luigi groaned.
“You two would have been cute!”
“She’s not wrong.” Mario chuckled, “But I don’t think going by names will work, Peach. He said they met over letters. We probably don’t know them at all.”
“Oh, no, you’ve met him before! Just…before he and I started writing.” Luigi said, serving himself a slice of the cake.
“Okay, back to guessing! Lets see… who do we know that might have an egg delivered…” she hummed to herself as she went over possible guesses while the brothers enjoyed their slices of cake.
Luigi was sipping his tea after finishing his slice when Peach gasped.
“I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner, oh my mushrooms, Luigi!”
“What? I haven't had the chance to confirm or deny anything yet.” Luigi said, nervously.
She scootched her chair around the small round table to be closer to the green brother before leaning in close to his ear and whispering, “You’ve been kissing Bowser.”
Luigi choked and sputtered on his tea, “P-Principessa!”
She pulled back giggling, “Ohh naughty Weegee, falling for the bad boys!”
“Huh? Bad boy? Who?” Mario looked lost. “Lu is a gentle soul, he wouldn’t go for a—a bad boy.”
“It’s so obvious! Just look at the egg! It’s got the same texture of egg-daddy’s scaly skin!”
Mario narrowed his gaze, looking between Peach, Luigi, and the egg.
Peach sighed, clearly annoyed that he wasn’t piecing it together, “Luigi’s dating King Bowser.”
Mario stared at her before starting to laugh, “Oh, good one! You almost got me there.” he chuckled, “Who is it really?”
“Bowser.” Luigi said, “She’s right.”
“And it explains why Bowser hasn’t even once tried to kidnap me in so long! He’s fallen for our adorable green bean!”
“It can’t be Bowser! I mean—it’s Bowser! Big scary meanie with my soft and caring little bro? Nope! Doesn’t match!”
“Mario,” Luigi groaned, “This is why I was trying to figure out how to tell you. I knew you wouldn’t understand, and when you finally accept that I’m not joking, you’d go punch his face! Which you already promised you wouldn’t do!”
“Oh, I won’t punch his face, I’m going to smash his shell with a boulder and turn him into turtle soup!”
“Mario!”
“I think it’s sweet.” Peach said.
“What? You can’t be serious! Of anyone, you know best how horrible Bowser is!”
“I think Luigi brought out his softer side. He had to have if Bowser was to have a chance at winning Lu’s heart. And honestly? Good for them.”
Luigi smiled at her, “Thanks, Peach.” he then looked at Mario with hopeful eyes, “Please will you at least give him a chance to prove he’s more than the guy you’ve fought before? Please?”
Mario grumbled, and then sighed, looking at how Luigi looked at him as he hugged his egg to himself. “He gets one chance. Just one.”
Luigi relaxed and grinned, “Thanks, Mario.”
“You still need to send Bowser word of your egg. Or at least tell him to meet you so that you can tell him in person!” Peach said, setting her empty plate and fork down, “Come, you can write it in my office.”
“Bowser would show up either way, so I’ll keep the egg as a surprise.” Luigi chuckled.
“I’ll let my toads know that his visit is expected and not an attack.” Peach nodded.
“Out of my way, pipsqueak, or I’ll squish you.” Bowser’ voice boomed out, followed by a toad’s yelp of fear and their scramble to get away. Mario tensed up at the perceived threat towards a toad, but Luigi knew Bowser was just worried that the toad was too underfoot to be safe.
A moment later the doors banged open and Bowser stomped his way into the room, red eyes scanning over the space until he spotted Luigi, and then his tough king act melted away, his face grew a softer expression, and his tail began to wag. “Luigi!”
Luigi smiled and gave a little wave, “Hi.”
Bowser started moving towards Luigi, and Mario stepped between them with his arms crossed and a glare on his face.
Bowser stopped short and blinked at the little red man before looking back at Luigi, “Ah, I see you’ve found a way to let him know.”
“More like the way found me?”
Bowser frowned, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You knocked up my baby brother!” Mario growled.
Behind him, Luigi smacked his hand to his face, “Mario…”
“What—what does that even mean?” Bowser frowned.
“You know what it means, you overgrown turtle!”
“No, he doesn’t. That’s a term from our world where things happen very differently! Come on, bro, you said you’d give him a chance!”
“Just making sure he knows I’ve got my eye on him.” Mario said, making a gesture with two fingers pointing at his eyes and then Bowser’s. Then he stepped away to walk back over to Peach’s side.
“Well I’m happy for you, Bowser! Luigi is a great guy.” Peach spoke up.
Bowser smiled at her, “Yes, he is. Thank you, Peaches. I’m ah…sorry about all the…stuff.”
“We can discuss politics later. Lu has something to tell you!”
“Uh, can I have a moment with Bowser? Alone?”
“Oh, yes, of course! Come along, Mario!” Peach said, pulling the red brother out of the room and closing the door behind them.
“Sorry, she’s been excited.” Luigi chuckled. “But she’s right, I have something to tell you, which was the main reason I asked you to come.”
“Should I be worried?”
“I don’t think so.” Luigi smiled, “Close your eyes.”
Bowser chuckled and put a hand over his eyes.
Luigi pulled their egg out from where he had it safely tucked away, and un-swaddled it enough so that Bowser would be able to see it clearly.
“Okie-dokie, you can look.” he said, and when Bowser removed his hand and looked back down at him, he spread one hand wide and wiggled it, “Taa-daa!”
Bowser stared with wide eyes. “That’s a…”
“A stork visited me this morning. I didn’t know what it meant at first, so Mario and I decided to ask Peach.” he hesitated, unable to read the emotion of his boyfriend beyond just surprised and stunned, “You…you’re not mad, right?”
The question seemed to break Bowser out of his shock, and he swept Luigi and the egg up into his arms, “Angry? Not at all! This is amazing news! We’ll have to celebrate!”
Luigi grinned, “Peach wants to plan a party for us.”
“I want to plan a wedding for us.” Bowser grinned back.
Luigi’s face flushed red, “R-really?”
Bowser nodded with a hopeful, excited look.
“Y-yes!” Luigi shifted forward to press a kiss to Bowser’s maw.
“Would you like to also move in with me before the wedding? So we can care for our egg together?”
“I’d like that, but maybe we should ease Mario into the idea of me moving out. I could visit more often and slowly bring my things over?”
“Understandable.” Bowser ran his claws through Luigi’s soft hair, knocking his hat down in the process. Luigi chuckled and placed the hat on top of the egg. Bowser purred at the sight, tail wagging happily behind him. You know how to care for a koopa egg, my love?”
“No, I just figured it needs to keep warm.”
Bowser nodded, “Yeah, and daily fire baths are good for the hatchling inside.”
“Fire baths?”
Placing the egg in the middle of a small fire. It’ll help with the hatchling’s fire resistance. It won’t hurt them. You’ve seen my kingdom, you know how hot it gets there.”
“I guess you do have literal lava in parts of your castle.” Luigi hummed, “Okay, I trust you. Still nervous about putting our baby in a fire, though.”
Bowser chuckled,” I think I’d be worried if you weren’t a little worried about something like that. You’re just too gentle and nervous by nature.” he nuzzled his love close before letting Luigi get comfortable with the egg in his hold, “Come, let's go let your annoying brother and Peaches know the plan.”
Luigi nodded happily, “Okie-dokie!” he ran his hands lovingly over their egg as Bowser carried them towards the doors that Peach and Mario had used.
Yeah, he was a happy man.
-End-