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Lloyd stood in the small bathroom, barely glancing into the reflective mirror, mostly in fear of what he’d see. He was, in fact, aware of the Oni abilities he contained, both physically and emotionally. The purple glint of the eyes when he felt anger, the horns on his head that seemed to grow faster each day, and the tail—well, he was just glad no one could see that—at least not yet. The very thought of it growing any longer made him shiver.
He looked down at his nails. He could’ve sworn they’d been growing three times faster ever since his transformation. They looked as if they were trying to place themselves in a claw-like formation.
Enough was enough. Hesitantly, Lloyd forced himself to look in the mirror. With the hat and perhaps without the tears, he almost looked like an average guy. He wanted to believe he was normal inside, too. But the harsh reality was that he had changed.
They’re finding out. I can’t keep hiding like this for much longer.
The intrusive thoughts wouldn’t stop swimming across his head, pounding at his heart and leaking through his eyes.
I can’t do this anymore.
It hurt him so much to look at himself that he clenched his eyes shut and focused on calming himself, ignoring the tears staining his cheeks and the shades of purple emanating from his eyes.
Why am I like this?
The internal screams began to feel peaceful, as he gave in to the effects the powers seemed to have on him…
What if I can’t control myself? What if…. I hurt them?
It was all too much. Suddenly, he raised his fist and— BAM! —smashed it. The mirror was in newly formed shards, each fragment sharp and scattered, like the quiet crying of his shattered heart.
It was way too much. The purple glow faded, and the strength drained from him, both mentally and physically. He fell to his knees because the blow had hurt, and he unclenched his hands to see his knuckles and the back of his hand bleeding; the broken mirror shards embedded in them.
He couldn’t control himself when he needed to, and he couldn’t stop the overwhelming sense of anger and frustration in his veins. It was so scary not being in control; it brought back bad memories. This, along with the fear of potentially hurting those he cared about.
How could you live with yourself like this? As the monster you once feared?
But despite all this, perhaps the most fearful sound was the small, fearful gasp as the door was yanked open of a particular ninja in red—better known as Kai, Lloyd’s big brother, parental figure, mentor, and one of his dearest friends, and who Lloyd turned to see standing at the open door, narrowly avoiding the shards of the mirror littering the ground, while staring at Lloyd with such horror and fear that it made the green ninja feel like the mirror, shattered in a million different ways.
Kai was having a nice day, for once.
Master Wu had (apparently!) decided that, for once, the ninja did not need to wake up before the sun did, so he woke up at a late 9 am (yes, yes, even he was mortified at the fact that 9 am was now considered late). Zane had baked pancakes, so it wasn’t a surprise to see Cole lumbering half-asleep down the stairs, or Nya, Jay, and Pixal huddled together, already quietly discussing their next build.
However, it was a surprise not to see Lloyd devouring a pancake, especially with his raging sweet tooth, and even more surprising not to see him at the table. Kai shot an inquisitive look to Zane, and it was only thanks to multiple years of having to work with each other and only being able to read expressions through a mask revealing only the eyes that he was able to understand. Zane shrugged, glancing up, and Kai took the hint, nodding before turning around to go back upstairs, ignoring the twisting in his stomach that was yearning for pancakes.
He stopped right outside of Lloyd’s room, knocking gently to alert Lloyd of his presence before trying the door, finding it unlocked.
“Lloyd?" He called out softly, announcing his presence to the empty room. Strange… he thought, furrowing his eyes before gently closing the door and looking around the hallway. He jumped at the unexpected SMASH that echoed down the hall, originating from the bathroom, and he rushed over, not thinking twice about yanking the door open.
Purple eyes fixated on him the moment he opened the door, and he couldn’t hold back the flinch and gasp that tore out of his throat, remembering eyes of that tone that had looked at him and his family with such hatred and loathing—
He snapped himself out of his visions of the past, forcing himself to remember where he was and to take in the situation before acting.
The oni had purple eyes, as was common with the ones that had invaded their realm, but upon closer inspection, seemed to be wearing clothing that were similar to Lloyd’s.
Oh. Kai realized, That is Lloyd.
Okay, first things first. He thought determinedly . What was the smash and what in the FSM is going on?
Okay, broken mirror, purple eyes, claws- IS THAT BLOOD??? Kai’s internal rambling was cut off when he finally noticed the splatters of blood around the glass, eyes instantly snapping back to the clawed hands.
Dropping down onto his knees, he quickly took lloyds injured hand in his own and hisses at the sight of the shards of glass embedded in the skins, droplets of blood trailing down the fingers, paying no mind to the black claws and the scales that were slowly forming and inching their way up the forearm.
Twisting around while still gently holding Lloyd’s hand in his, he opened the bottom cabinet, sighing in relief at the first aid that was there. Taking it out, he opened it and picked up the pliers, when he felt the hand he was holding get yanked back. Startled, he nearly dropped the pliers he had just picked up, and looked into the purple eyes in front of him, suppressing a flinch. “What’s wrong?” He said, softly as to not spook Lloyd, who opened and closed his mouth seemingly in frustration. “...Why are you helping me?” Lloyd questioned quietly.
Kai couldn’t stop the incredulous look that overtook him. “...Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because I’m a FREAK!” Lloyd’s sudden outburst had him falling back onto his feet in surprise, subconsciously missing the shards of glass littering the wood. Lloyd couldn’t help the despairing chuckle or the tears that welled up in his eyes. “I’m a freak now. I’m one of the things that invaded and tried to take over this realm! What’s to say that I don’t turn out as bad as them? What if I end up hurting you guys? I just-” His rant was interrupted by a half laugh, half sob, covering his mouth with his uninjured hand clenching the other, and Kai let out a small whine at the drops of blood that began to pour anew. “See! In the end, I’m just going to end up hurting you guys and becoming just like the oni and-”
Kai couldn’t bear to hear his younger brother speak about himself like that any more. Jumping up quickly, avoiding cutting his bare feet, he reached out once more for Lloyd, causing the younger boy’s rant to die out and to shut his eyes, hands turning limp and falling to his sides, both still clenched and awaiting something harsh that would never come. Instead, Kai gently reached out for the injured hand once more, not hesitating to just stand there quietly, waiting for Lloyd to lose some of his tension.
Lloyd slowly opened his eyes, and Kai gave a soft smile. “I’ll always help you, no matter how you look. After all, you are my brother, no?” Lloyd opened his mouth once more, speechless, before closing it, allowing himself to lean onto his older brother’s shoulder, allowing his injured hand to be held and for the tears to drip down onto Kai’s shoulder. Kai just reached around with his unoccupied hand and pulled him closer, humming a melody only he knew the origins to.
They stood there, allowing the atmosphere to overtake them. After a few minutes, Lloyd drew back with a deep breath, and Kai was glad to see that some of the purple had receded back into green. “Is it alright if I help you now?” Kai asked, glancing at the first aid kit and the abandoned pliers. Upon Lloyd nodding, Kai steered him away from the glass and onto the covered toilet making sure he was comfortable before letting go of the injured hand and turning back for the first-aid kit.
Both of them stayed relatively silent as Kai plucked out the glass from Lloyd’s cuts, and the background humming of the fluorescent lights was only broken by Lloyd’s quiet hisses when the shards moved. “You’re already healing up,” Kai noted, blotting up the blood with a clean cloth. He turned Lloyd’s hand gently in the light. “See? Any of us guys would need stitches, but you’ve got that supernatural healing factor going for you, huh, bud.”
“And yet you’re still bandaging me up.”
Kai pressed on the last bandaid and patted Lloyd’s shoulder. “What can I say? I can’t help it. I just want to take care of you.” He repackaged the first aid supplies in the kit and set it on the counter. “How does that feel?”
“Okay,” Lloyd said quietly. He still wasn’t looking up, and out of his sight, Kai frowned to himself.
But maybe Lloyd was still stuck in his own head, despite his earlier outburst. It would help him to see the others, Kai decided. Lloyd needed not to be by himself.
“Hey, Zane made pancakes,” he said, injecting a smile into his voice. “I bet if we go out there now, there might still be some left.”
He stood up, reaching for the door. But Lloyd’s hand snapped out and seized his before it could land.
“No, wait!”
“Huh?”
Some of the purple had crept back into Lloyd’s eyes. “I can’t go out there looking like this .”
Standing, he reached up and ripped off the hat he was wearing. He threw it to the ground, eyes jumping to Kai’s and back away again like he dared Kai to react but also feared his reaction.
“Lloyd,” Kai said, gentling his voice like he was speaking to a spooked animal. “They won’t care.” He pointedly didn’t look at the horns peeking from Lloyd’s greasy hair – though he would try to check them out when Lloyd was calmer because holy cow did those things look sharp, had they hurt when they grew from his head? “You’re not the first one to get a new look.”
“Zane doesn’t count,” Lloyd mumbled, glancing away.
Kai stepped away from the door. “I wasn’t talking about Zane. What about when Jay unlocked his true potential?” Lloyd looked at him blankly. “Wait, you weren’t there for that, huh. Okay, well what about when Cole turned into a ghost? We didn’t hate him then.”
“That’s different.”
Kai shook his head. “It’s literally not.” He reached out and tilted Lloyd’s face up. “The ghosts were taking over Ninjago, and we had to stop them, just like we did with the Oni. What’s worse, they personally hurt you .”
“But –”
“So help me, Lloyd Garmadon, if the next words out of your mouth are something about your bloodline or whatever, it doesn’t matter . We’re who we choose to be, anyway.”
“… you really mean that?”
“When have I lied to you? About something like this,” Kai amended, seeing Lloyd’s mouth open. “Come on. I’ll show you.”
Lloyd still looked doubtful. But he took a deep breath in and nodded. This time, when Kai turned the door handle, he followed him out into the hallway. They went together down the stairs, hand in hand, and when they reached the kitchen, Kai squeezed Lloyd’s hand and pulled him inside.
“What took you guys so long?” whined Jay, as soon as they entered the room. “Zane wouldn’t let us eat any pancakes until you got back and now they’re all cold .”
“Jay, kindly, please shut up,” said Cole, all without looking over at him. He rose from his chair, eyes jumping from Kai to Lloyd and back again. “Are you — what happened?”
Lloyd tried to shrink behind Kai. Kai held him at his side. “Bathroom mirror’s broken,” he said with a purposely nonchalant shrug of his shoulder. “Lloyd was a little cut up.”
“I see,” said Nya, watching Lloyd. Her face softened as she stood and rounded the island, coming to their side. “Are you okay?”
“I —“ Lloyd's fingers loosened around Kai’s. “You’re really okay with this? With all of this?”
“It’s a little bit freaky,” Cole allowed, and this time it was Jay who pinched him in the side. “Hey! I wasn’t finished! It’s a little bit freaky, but no freakier than anything else that’s happened to us honestly.”
“We’re your brothers, Lloyd,” Zane said, smiling. “Nothing about you can change that.”
“Oh, we can give you a cool name!” exclaimed Jay. “How about this: my kid brother, the ninjoni .” Immediately, he screwed up his face. “No, that’s no good. Oninja?”
Lloyd breathed in a shaky breath. When Kai glanced over at him, his eyes shone wetly. Alarm sang through Kai. Had they screwed up somehow and upset him further? He went to let go of Lloyd’s hand, but Lloyd’s fingers clenched around his and held on tightly.
“That’s so — so stupid .”
The panic drained from Kai as quickly as it came. Lloyd brought up their conjoined hands to swipe at them with the back of his, and when he blinked them back open, the purple had fully receded.
“You’re stupid,” Jay shot back without missing a beat, and laughter, sharp and abrupt, burst from Lloyd.
Kai watched him, watched the way his mouth turned up in a small smile, watched the others and the way they reacted and overreacted to reassure him, and he couldn’t help but smile too.
They could — and would — talk more later, that he was sure of. But for now –
For now, everything else could wait.
“Come on, have some pancakes,” he said, pulling Lloyd toward the table. “Don’t worry, I’ll heat them back up for you if they’re cold.”