Archive of Our Own ^beta

Vintage tee, brand new phone

high heels on cobblestone

when you are young 

they assume you know nothing

Annabeth glances at her wrist only to find her bracelet a solid blank. What should be a slate that has a brand of it: a timer, a logo, a mark, has no sign that there has been or there will be markings of it. Her other hand finds her fiddling with the bracelet embedded on her skin. She knew what was in store for her even before they started talking behind her back. 

"Poor girl," Her mom would say, "She doesn't have a soul mate." 

"She must have gotten it from you, Athena." Her dad chimes in. 

She was seven.

Her eyes were peering at the door from across the hall where her father's currently occupied. Her mom wouldn't be here until 9 pm, but then there was her dad in their room, with a woman in his arms, smiling and laughing and being so entranced. Annabeth finds herself biting her lip and talking to her stuffed animals. It was raining, but her house felt too empty for her to get inside. She rests on the front porch and simply watches the cars go by one at a time, leaving their little town and heading to the city. She notices the pair of red high heels on the cobblestone walkway, hastily put together in a hurry. 

Her mom doesn't wear heels. 

It didn't take an hour for the woman to emerge from the house, looking at her with disdain, nose scrunching up as if her sight alone was dreadful. She was wearing her father's collector tee now- the one shirt he's always careful to wear. She wonders how he can give it up so easily. 

"She's from work." Her father had said, opening his phone and barely looking at her. 

The woman waves as she steps in her car, and he waves back with just as much fervour, grinning from eye to eye. Who is she? She wants to ask once more, but Annabeth has a feeling that she has answers all along. So she didn't. 

"That's a new phone," She whispers instead.

Her father smiles. "Do you want anything? Any request? Come inside, I'll give you chocolate ice cream."

She doesn't like chocolate. She likes vanilla. 

Her hand finds her bracelet once again. The band fits neatly at her wrist, embedded and yet expanding as she grows up. She can still hear the echoes of her parents saying things about her as she circles her thumb at the black band with no markings of their own. 

And at the moment her dad asks her to come inside, she sheds a tear if only for a little. 

Because she knows . 

Sequin smile, black lipstick

sensual politics

when you are young 

they assume you know nothing

She was nine. 

Her mother had gone home at exactly 1:19 in the morning, leaving her to make her own food with as little ingredients as there are in the fridge. She remembers cooking mac and cheese when her mother opens the door, completely wasted and reeking of alcohol. Her mind was in overdrive, not knowing what to do and who to call. She smiles vaguely in her direction, asks her what wine is available, until cluelessly walking from room to room, looking for a bed to lay on. Annabeth bites her lip, fidgeting the band on her wrist. It seems to be a habit, something to ponder on whenever she’s weirdly stressed by anything, which is ironic, since soul mates are one of the things she does stress about sometimes. But even after everything, she was nine, and it was the only comfort in the world she had.

She finds her mom on her bed, drinks all over the place, makeup smudged and her black lipstick ringed hastily on her face.

"Give me another wine, child." She slurs. "You're a… disgrace." 

Her father has found his soulmate. Annabeth's mom hadn't taken it lightly, the divorce being as messy as things can get and taking months to resolve. She remembers him nudging his head, looking at Annabeth with disappointment. She remembers her father in their kitchen, walking back and forth, punching the kitchen cabinet and almost throwing another plate at her. His calm composure gone, hands on his hair in frustration, looking at Annabeth with hatred.

"Why did you tell her?!" He had asked. "You don't know anything, Annabeth!" 

“I’m sorry,” Says Annabeth. 

“Goddamnit!” His eyes were angry. “You ruined everything.” 

She holds out her hand for her mother, who's as intoxicated as anyone can get. 

"Beth," She says once more. "I should've…I should've given you to Frederick." 

But Annabeth was as silent as she can be, tucking her mom in and silently praying for her to go to sleep before she makes a mess of herself once more. Her hand finds the bracelet of her mom, but unlike her, Athena's bands were broken along with a few gash from different angles. Annabeth believes in love, but sometimes love isn’t always heaven, and sunshine, and all the good things. She remembers the show she was watching- a heartbreaking one, and it reminds her that love is also hell, though painfully and achingly so. 

Her mind lingers in the room, watching every detail of what it once was- her father taking her in and smiling at her and reading her folk stories, and her mother holding out her hand whenever rain storms come and go. She fixates herself on the cardigan from beneath the bed, one not so long ago was worn by her mother. Her hands find themselves patting it gently, removing every speck of dust in her visible eye, and wondering just how long it had been there. It felt like forever. She sheds a single tear looking at her wrist with uncertainty. 

What if this is exactly what she will be growing up? What if she’ll never find anyone at all? 

The white wool cardigan was soft to her skin, perfect for the rainy weather. It gave her comfort for a while until she drifted to sleep. 

“What are you doing?” She asked a boy where she could see him climbing one of the trees. The boy was holding a branch in one hand with the other holding dearly to steady himself. 

It was always Annabeth striding along the coast near the lake every afternoon, looking at nature at its finest, bathing in the fact that there are actual beautiful things in the world. Her mom hasn’t been present as she was once, but Annabeth grew rather accustomed to silence. She finds out wandering near the woods distract her from hell that was her mom, along with collecting rocks she wouldn’t be needing anyway. 

“I’m…” He says. “Playing.” 

“What are you playing?” She asks, still looking up wondering how the hell did he get there. It was about seven feet from the ground, she thinks, and he might have tried pulling himself from the swing. 

The boy grins. “You know Captain hook?” 

“Yeah…” Annabeth crossed her arms. “What about him?” 

“I’m playing Peter.” With that, he lurches forward just a little so Annabeth can see his Peter Pan shirt. “ You could be Wendy!” 

“I don’t play.” 

Because she was ten, and had more things to ponder about than playing over some character in a book that she didn’t like anyway. Neverland was a hoax, engaging young boys to never grow up. Fairy tales aren’t real and he should’ve known it by then. 

His hand finds their balance, going down the tree and swinging instead, and Annabeth wonders how bold could he be, seeing as the creek was just below them. Annabeth’s always been scared of heights, but maybe this boy doesn’t mind at all. 

“I haven’t seen you before.” She says nonchalantly. 

“I just moved here.” He holds out his hand. “I’m Percy. I’m from New York. But I also lived for a year in Pennsylvania.” 

Annabeth’s never been to New York. She’s been stuck in this little town in Long Island for all her life- knowing only the heavy rain and the little shops, and the only mall, and the familiar faces. There’s little secret you could hold in this town. She remembered that it hadn't even been a week yet before news of her parent’s divorce were spread wildly, but that was then. 

“Annabeth,” She says. 

His band is white, she notices. A white so shiny it reflects on its own, and Annabeth never has been so jealous. 

“Does it glow?” She asks him. 

The boy, Percy, grins even more. “Yeah. Sometimes it has these weird markings, like you think you see it, but you don’t. But mom says it’s normal. Mom says when I’m at the right age, I will know.” 

His green eyes were staring at her. Annabeth finds herself looking at hers again, just black, nothing else, no markings and anything. She wonders if there’s a time she’ll see a marking there somewhere, but the time hasn’t come yet. Either way, she remembers looking at her mom when she’s saying it. You don’t have a soulmate . 

“Why are yours just black?” He asks, trying to peek, but Annabeth scurries her hand away from his sight, pulling her cardigan that’s three sizes too big. But then there’s Percy looking back at her again, mouth gaping and shutting close in a second. 

“Sorry.” He says. “Mom said I shouldn’t say anything about the bands.” 

“It’s…okay.” 

“You know what,” Percy tugs on her cardigan. “Let’s play hide and seek instead.” 

“I don’t-” 

But Percy was already running, counting from ten to one, waiting for Annabeth to hide from where she’s standing. 

Annabeth was twelve.

She recalls having an argument with her teacher when Percy asks her what happened. His house was nice, she notices. It’s half a mile from her house, where she can ride her bike and just go there everyday. Then there’s the beach nearby, and it’s always welcoming- the perfect place for Percy to be. Picture frames were plastered on his wall: Percy building a sandcastle when he was young, his hair much lighter back then. Then there’s Percy with his oversized blue cake smiling from ear to ear with his dad holding him. She wonders what Paul thinks of the picture. Was he mad at Sally for putting the picture on their wall? Does he have the slightest envy on Percy for being born? But Percy always feels at home in his presence, and being here in their house feels more home than her home will ever be. 

Annabeth was sobbing, while Sally made her the perfect vanilla marshmallow drink . Percy’s eyes found hers, and he grins while pulling a sharpie from the desk. 

“He was wrong though.” Annabeth musters her remaining courage. “I’ve read that book thrice, Percy. I know what it means.” 

Then it was a book about history. Mr. Fischer has her standing in the class saying sorry because of trying to change what’s written in the book, when clearly she knows what’s written in the book and he’s trying to get away from being the source of embarrassment. It was Annabeth who corrected him, but without a doubt put the blame on her. 

And soon, Annabeth finds herself hiding in the closet once more, filled with chagrin and humiliation.

“I think you should come live with me.” Percy says, smiling sweetly.

There was a scar on her arm where the sharp edge of the closet door made contact. She sees him looking at it, trying to make sense of what’s happened. Not a minute passed when he’s drawing little stars in it, smiling still as Sally takes out another fresh batch of baked cookies. Sally sighs at the sight of her boy drawing on Annabeth’s, saying they have to clean the wound and put bandages first, but he was on a roll. 

“We can be pirates.” Percy adds. “So you wouldn’t have to come home to your house. So you wouldn’t have to cry or hide in your closet.” 

Annabeth simply rolls her eyes, waiting for him to finish drawing on her arm. Percy explains how it’s a protection and how it will heal quickly if he draws on it and she disagrees, saying that there’s no science in it. But there’s something comforting about Percy looking at her like that, because he’s somehow her best friend and the only person she’s comfortable with. 

“That’s lame.” She says, because she doesn’t want to be a pirate. 

Percy shrugs, thinking. “Or you could pack your bags now. And your teddy bear. Or your doll. And we can move to India forever.”

She laughs, because it’s Percy who gives her every bit of laughter and comfort at the same time. “You should be a poet.” 

Annabeth hears Sally opening the radio to a folk song, and then there’s the wind chimes from outside that makes just the right noise without sounding intolerable. She can hear the gust from across the window, the sea breeze hitting and the salt air along with rust rushing through his doorway. 

At that moment, Annabeth feels like she doesn’t know anything, but this . 

They were fourteen. 

Annabeth finds herself in the midst of their class while Paul talks about another piece of English literature. Percy was at the back, being almost a minute late as usual. But this was Paul, and he only gives his step son a bit of a frown as the boy grins at him, muttering sorry. Familiar faces flooded the hallway as Annabeth started ninth grade- " actual high school " as Percy would've said. She wasn't entirely a big fan of crowds, but people were smiling and making friends and casually conversing, and she found herself talking to some girls her age. 

But then there's Percy, talking to one of the boys she recognized before in her maths, casually befriending anyone who's kind enough to smile at him. He's always been the more extroverted one, but then there's a lopsided smile finding Annabeth and she was smiling back as he waved lightly at her. 

He was a bit taller than her now, much to her dismay. It didn't help that he keeps patting her head and saying he's taller, joking about what it's like down there, but Annabeth has tolerated him for years, she could tolerate him for more. 

Without meaning to, she chances a glance at her band, still pure black, still no markings that should be embedded to it by now. A clean blank slate unlike others. She notices one of her seatmates looking at it, but she doesn't say anything, just smiles as if nothing happened.

"Piper," She introduces herself.

Annabeth looks at her band- a mark of lightning and a heart both etched neatly on one of the sides. She didn't say anything. It must feel nice to see such markings. But then she remembered the hell one must be in to look for it, to see it, to be with their soulmates. She remembers her father looking at the door with humiliation in her eyes, Annabeth close behind and asking him not to go, not to leave them and their perfect family so he can be with his other half.

But life isn't like that. Life is loving someone for the show just for the sake of it, and when things don't go their way, they just… leave . 

She pulls out her cardigan, effectively masking the clean slate on her hand. 

Percy notices. 

She was sixteen when her mom decided to leave. 

Or she thinks she will anyway. Annabeth's mother has never been present for most of her life. Sometimes she thinks she's only there because she's a mother, that's what she's supposed to do, but then there's Annabeth still trying to understand, even after knowing all this time how it will end, she tries to understand how hurt her mother is, and how happy she will be once she left her, and she'll understand. 

Sometimes, she stays for days in her house, talking to Annabeth and asking things she wasn't interested in the first place, but it's okay, because Annabeth grew accustomed to it. Everyone leaves, she thinks again, but it doesn't matter, because she's there for herself. 

And who cares if she doesn't have a soulmate anyway? The band once looked comforting, but now it just leaves her feeling empty handed, a painful reminder that she'll be staying single all her life. Maybe someday, she'll have the courage to peel it out of her wrist, but not today. 

"Annabeth, there's cash in your room. It's your allowance." She hears her mother packing, just as she's opening the door from the living room. She looks at her once, smiles without meeting her eyes, and silently leaves. "I have a project overseas. I'll see you in two weeks." 

And just like that she was out. 

“What kind of mom just leaves her daughter like that?” 

Percy looks at the ceiling of his room, holding his hand out as if the fan’s just an arm’s reach away. The rain was once again pouring, which is normal, she figures. It's been raining almost half a year in the goddamn town. It's always been gloomy all throughout the year, but Percy's room feels like it's bathing in sunshine.  She’s studying in his room now, making a mess on the desk that once was his, now occupied by Annabeth and the loads of notes she has in class. She mentally thanks him for being sloppy and finding out his desk hasn’t held any books on it for years. Now it’s unofficially hers. His skateboard was placed under the desk, and she took the time to roll one of the pinned wheels with her foot.

“The kind of mom I have, unfortunately.” 

Her hands were all over the page, trying to understand the underlying meaning of words that she might have missed. 

“You can have my weekends.” Percy just mutters, holding his bed sheet in one hand. “Stay here. It’ll be fun. We can build our fort and play video games.” 

Annabeth rolls her eyes. “We’re sixteen.” 

“And?” He sits up. “I can’t believe the day will come when you don’t like dead by daylight anymore. I’ll buy you ice cream if you play with me.” 

But then there he was, his stomach against the bed, looking at her while she studies for a test they’re supposed to take. 

He’s growing up. Taller than her by a few inches. His hair is way darker now, and he’s gained a few pounds in just a few months. His voice didn’t crack anymore, which was a bummer, since she’s always teasing him for it. But Percy remains beautiful, she thinks. He’s always been beautiful, back when he had freckles and his hair was in a slight bowl cut, and when his teeth were slightly apart, but now it’s doing him a solid, and Annabeth wishes the same. 

The band on his wrist is still white, glowing a lot these days in fact, when they’re together, but he doesn’t mention it once. Annabeth knew he was a firm believer of soulmates, unlike her, so she tries to avoid any possibility of her liking him. Because it’s Percy , and he’s her bestfriend. 

“Guess what?” he finally says once he was done stalling. 

“Yeah?” She didn’t so much as look at him. 

“I’ll be working in a yogurt shop this summer.” He grins. “At the mall. You should come and I’ll make some for you for free.” 

Annabeth smiles, because sometimes she thinks she knows the guy, but then there are decisions he makes that just…surprises her.  “How the hell did you land a job?” 

"Why do you sound so surprised?" He raises an eyebrow. "I charmed them." 

Annabeth smiles. "Of course you did."  

They nicknamed him August . 

People like Percy and she didn't know why that annoys her to pieces. When she's at a class he'd always see girls line up to him, talking about him as if he's some… prize they wanted to have. It's weird, because their markings were clearly different, some of them being timers, some of them being drawings, others in different colours, so she thinks… why bother ? Why take a risk if it's not meant to be anyway? 

Percy smiles at her once more, and she thinks maybe that's why. 

Then there's Piper looking at her one time, when she realises she's glaring at the empty space between the seat of someone in front of her. 

"What's wrong?" 

Because she knew that there's bothering her. But then she can't say it, because she can't for the love of god explain that she's feeling… envious . 

That's right, that's the word. 

It makes her sick to the stomach just looking at other girls batting their eyelashes in his direction, but it also fills her with glee when she notices Percy looking back at her every time. She wonders if she'll ever see someone the way she sees him now, and she thinks, there's a word for this feeling, but she can't…

"Oh, I see it." Piper grins just as quickly, side eyeing Percy and looking back at her once more. 

"See what?" Because she doesn't see it. 

"You like him." 

"No," Because Annabeth doesn't like him, she's just…"Territorial. I'm just territorial with friends." 

Piper's rolling her eyes. "Bullshit. You're never territorial to friends, Annabeth. I've been your friend for years and I know how you don't really mind others being friendly except when it's Percy. When it's Percy you have that 'i could kill anyone who touches you' look." 

"That's not true." 

But it is, and deep inside she knows it is. From the moment people start liking Percy way too much, even until Percy rejects the advances being thrown at him, she knows she had that look in her eyes. Because it's Percy, and he doesn't belong to Annabeth, no matter how painful it is. 

'You're never mine.'

Piper's hand finds her shoulder, giving her a comforting smile and saying she can talk about it to her. Which is true, she can, because it's Piper and she's one of her best friends. She chances another glance at her band now covered with a scrunchie , still not one marking on it after all the years, and silently curses, because of just how cruel things could be. She knew she and Percy were doomed from the beginning, but somehow the thought of being with him didn't leave her mind. 

She finally had the courage to talk to Piper one day, when things were beginning to frustrate her. 

"So is it about Percy?" Piper asked one day, and she all but looked at every student near her with panic in her eyes. They couldn't know. The town's too little, and people will start talking. 

"Pipes," She sighs. "Announce it to the world, will you?" 

"Oops, sorry." Piper looks genuinely rueful. "We should have a nickname like seaweed brain." 

"Not seaweed brain." She says, because he'll know about it once he hears it, and Annabeth's not giving him the satisfaction that she's the one they're talking about. Percy's her bestfriend, so it's even more embarrassing once he hears her talking about him. Especially her budding crush . She'd gladly leave the face of earth before confessing to him. Because he's Percy . The same guy she's been friends with for years . She wouldn't hear the end of it if he knew, and he'll most likely laugh at her. 

Piper looks at her. 

"August," She says. 

"Because it's his birthday?"  Annabeth rolls her eyes. 

"He reminds me of August. The last two weeks of August, I mean. When it stops raining." Piper shrugs. "Summer. Sunshine. Golden. Daylight. Whichever will do." 

" August ." Annabeth ponders. 

And then there comes Percy himself emerging from behind her, grinning and probably making her see the test he passed because of her help. 

"Who's August ?" He asked.

"Your mom." Annabeth would say. 

He's rolling his eyes and Annabeth never felt any better. 

And she thinks, for now, wanting is enough.

Her band never felt as heavy as it was then. 

It's summer, and she's had every bit of time to go to the lake just across the forest, sometimes trying to think and bringing down her friends for a casual swim. Percy was never a lake guy, even after all the time he spends there with her. He once said he'd rather feel the salt air on his skin, but invites were made and accepted nonetheless. Besides, sometimes he'd skate from his house to hers since it's mostly vacant anyway, but whenever weekend comes, it's Annabeth sleeping on his bed and him sleeping on the couch, much to his dismay, but Sally was persistent. 

She tries to think of a way to dismiss her feelings. Anything- whether drawing historic buildings from scratch, or looking at the handwritten notes in her book, reading every last word of the pages and trying to stay in track, but the words were dull and she kept reading the paragraphs again and again, without any information being retained in her mind. She sinks deeper on her chair once more, looking at the cardigan that's neatly placed on her bed. 

She plans on heading out to meet her friends for group work, but then there’s the feeling lingering and then there’s her wanting to get it out of her system, messaging the people that the day has been cancelled. 

She calls Percy, of course, and the boy was quick to reply. 

'Meet me behind the mall .' She can hear him from his message. 'Let's get out of here'

'Are you sure?'  

Percy replies just a minute after. 

'Always' .

She sees him first, taking out his apron and cap, wearing a good teal that matches the color of his eyes. Annabeth thinks he's never looked this good, but then there's the color of his band gleaming - a gentle reminder that as much as she wants to be with him, Percy was destined to be with someone else. Someone that’s painfully not her. 

“Get in,” She says looking at Percy smirking at her, because it’s one of the only times she’s using her mother’s beat up car to drive their way to Centennial Park. It wasn’t really, more like a version of their town of the Centennial Park, but it’s at least a good version, and sometimes Annabeth finds herself reading there when she feels so. The grass was exceptionally green today, but then there’s the slight haze, and the drizzle, signifying the end of a warmer season as the golden leaves turn to green. From the horizon she sees a purple pink sky which has always been pretty. Their town’s accustomed to rain, but summer’s always good. 

It’s August . 

She kept thinking of the one myth in Japan she'd read about just a day before, when she’s thinking to herself just how much what she might miss because the fates weren’t kind to her. She kept thinking about it looking at Percy, kept thinking how she hasn’t even in the slightest found someone who wears the same band as she does. How everyone has their own markings, their own unique way of recognizing who their soulmates are supposed to be. Annabeth didn’t believe in soulmates, sometimes she thinks it’s ridiculous- her life is something she should control, not anyone else. Sometimes she’s happy about having none, really, it somehow means she can control her life. But then Percy comes, and she wished hers were white. If only for a little. If only just to make him realize that maybe , just maybe they’re meant to be together. 

“There’s an old folk myth in Japan,” She says once they’re talking. “How there used to be invisible strings in each other, and if it’s red…then you guys are meant to be.” 

“What kind of red?” He asks first. 

“I don’t know. A red so bright it burns?” 

”I don’t like burning red.” Percy stares at the park, the only company they have being the two birds bathing in the fountain. “It’s not my color. Personally, I like all things blue.” 

Annabeth nods, glancing at Percy’s eyes.

“Of course,” She rolls her eyes at him once she sees him staring. It’s always a habit of his to stare directly when he talks, and Annabeth’s familiar with it, but then there’s butterflies in her stomach waiting to get out, and she’s feeling more dread than usual. 

“Well, bands are more discernible, but I think before it’s always been the invisible string.” 

Percy would comment. “But if I want one, It’ll be gold.” 

“Why gold?” 

“Like your hair.” 

He only grins at her. “ One single thread of gold .” 

But I knew you

dancin' in your Levi's

drunk under a streetlight

“I thought…she’s the one.” Percy slurs. “We had the same color, but then there’s actual markings unlike mine and, and then… then-” 

Annabeth cups his face, motioning for him to come forward and bury his head on her neck as Percy looks down dejectedly. The pier sounds strangely quiet at night, and only the cold wind whistles past them, the dock almost empty as captains drop anchor at another port, because it’s midnight and it’s snowing, and the beach looks like a wasteland, except for the streetlights parallel from the walkway. 

“It’s getting cold, Percy.” 

But then there’s a drunk Percy leaning against her shoulder, and she wants nothing else in the world except when he’s talking about his supposed soulmate. Annabeth stares blankly at hers again, another reminder that they weren’t soulmates, in fact, the complete opposite of it. Percy shakes his head, not wanting to go home. She wonders how he can keep himself warm with just a white shirt and some levi’s, but maybe the alcohol’s warm enough. 

“We’ve been talking for months.” He says. “How can I just… waste my time? On someone that’s not even my soulmate?” 

She kisses his cheek lightly, green eyes now staring right back at her. Now he’s smiling.

“Who’s August?” He said after the hour ended. 

“He’s my first love.” 

And there was a look in Percy’s eyes that she cannot fathom, even after the many years that she’s been with him as a friend. 

‘Oh.” 

Annabeth nods. A small smile escapes his lips. 

“Come, I’ll treat you better than August.”

And then they were dancing, finally gathering the courage to stand and walk him home, but then he’s dancing with a bottle in one hand and her hand in the other, muttering a song she doesn’t know about. She rolls her eyes at him, because it’s Percy, and she doesn’t know anything, but him . 

She pulls out her cardigan, letting him wear it, even after the cold wears out her black shirt. 

Because she can, and she wants to. Because Percy’s one of the beautiful parts of the world. Because even if she can’t be his soulmate, she’ll be the fire to keep him warm whenever the ocean’s cold enough for him to be blue. Because they’re only seventeen, and if she could die for someone, she’d die for him in secret. 

Annabeth soon finds herself getting rid of her band. 

She cries because it hurts, but it’s only a painful reminder of things that she can’t have, and she wants it gone. Her band’s still clean with markings, a symbol, and something while everybody already has theirs. She remembers talking to Piper and Jason, being happy that they finally found each other, then there’s some other friends squealing as they find theirs, and Annabeth’s left dumbfounded looking at hers, just for a moment wanting even a single letter in there, even after not believing in it for a long time. Just once. Just this once . 

But then nothing comes, and it’s always the same dark slate that’s been looking at her all her life, and eighteen never sucked so bad. Because here she is in her room once again crying, feeling the emptiness and despair looming on her shoulder. 

And she thinks of her mother suddenly when she’s barely nine and Annabeth’s telling her things that she must know, but then there’s her mom telling her the same thing over and over again. 

‘You know nothing, child.’

And her father’s already out of the picture, and he might be living soundly in California with children of his own, with his wife cooking him dinner and him packing up things for his children, and Annabeth’s never been jealous, because she thinks she wanted a life like that, wanted a life that’s as easy as it looks, and wanting a life that’s exactly something like theirs do now- picture perfect on holiday houses, smiling perfectly with families of their own. 

‘You don’t know anything, Annabeth! ’ He had said. 

But Annabeth knew. Annabeth knew what it’s like. 

Annabeth knew how she suffers too early in life, knew how much it’s taken everything from her, knew how much pain she had, then for a moment things were good and golden, and they’ll take it away just as soon as she gets it. 

She remembers painfully what Percy has said to her on the dock. 

‘How can I just… waste my time? On someone that’s not even my soulmate?’

Something so painful to hear, but something that gets her out of the reverie as well, because Percy will not waste his time on her, and even if he did, it’s always wasted time . Time, who never gave her any compasses to lean on, no signs to let her think it’s going to be okay. The same time that heals her, cuts her open just fine. 

The band was heavier than it should be, but now it’s not at her wrist anymore, at least. What should’ve been freedom felt more like dread when she took it off, looking at the bleeding scars surrounding her wrist and crying even more when the band’s still a black slate on her palm. It doesn't matter, because she can’t get what she wants anyway. 

What does it matter? She thinks. 

“What did you do?” Percy’s hand finds hers, and for a moment she wants to say something, but her voice fails her just the same. She figures he can see the bags under her eyes, and he would want an explanation, but Annabeth can’t find words to completely describe what she wants to say. Her wrist was wrapped in bandages, and she figures everyone else can see it, but she doesn’t care even if all the people in their town knew about it, even if the whole country knows how Annabeth Chase removed her band that’s as black as midnight. 

People start looking but she only has her eyes on Percy, who throws Annabeth’s cardigan on her shoulder, covering her from anyone who tries to even look her way. 

“Is it August?” He looks at her once, placing his fingers on her chin. 

She could only nod. She thought she might have seen him flinch, but it must have been the light.

She spends her weekend on Percy. 

“Tell me about August,” There’s venom in his voice as he spits the words, as if it’s painful to even say. They were in his room, and Sally (she thanks the gods for her) has come to the rescue and made them both their favorite cookies. She remembers just five years ago Percy’s telling her about how well his mom cooks, and how it almost makes you feel heaven. Just by being in the Jackson household is enough to give him comfort. Percy’s on the couch with her and their knees are touching, and for a different circumstance Annabeth might have exploded on the spot, but Percy’s giving her every comfort she needed. 

Annabeth flinches just by hearing the name. 

“What’s so good about him, anyway? Right ?” Percy’s hand was dangerously close to her, she noticed. Whether it’s a coincidence or not, she can feel the sensation coursing through, and it made her feel good. He looks flustered. “I-I mean, there’s other guys out there that’s… willing to give you everything that August can’t.”

“Not really.” 

“What do you mean ?” 

Because after all this time, Percy’s as oblivious as he can get. And after everything they’ve been through, and the friendships they had with others, Annabeth thinks no one’s ever going to compare to him. Because it’s Percy , and he’s the boy swinging seven feet high near the creek. The boy who she can’t stop loving for all the beautiful things he does. The one she’s willing to give up all her vulnerabilities to. 

She smiles gently at him, and Percy softens. 

There are stars around her scars that night, she notices, but now there’s also a name written in sharpie in a somehow legible handwriting. 

I knew you

hand under my sweatshirt

baby, kiss it better

Percy invited her, technically. 

Her plan all day was to mope around and settle her things before she moves, because she’ll be staying at an apartment in New York until after her college. The apartment isn't in any way big, just sufficient for her alone- a small kitchenette, a bathroom, and a studio type bedroom unit that’s actually a bit clean. She wanted one with a roommate, technically, but there’s no one available as per the groups she’s been with. Columbia’s pretty far from Long Island, and her friends didn’t exactly try to take the test for said university.

‘ Let’s Celebrate ’ Percy messages. 

There’s no need for celebration, because she doesn’t know what’s there to celebrate anyway. The small town she knew, no matter how nosy people are, is one of the only things she’s familiar with, and then comes New York with its big city lights and buildings here and there, and it doesn’t rain much at all and from one of the few times she’s been there it always seem too busy for anything she wants to do at peace. Then there are students roaming, too busy to bat an eye, and rude commuters, and…she wants to cry just by how unfamiliar the place could be. 

There’s nothing permanent in New York. People come by and go just as quickly, and somehow she’ll miss her friends and especially Percy. But Percy’s asking her to celebrate , and she can’t for the love of god think why. 

And what if Percy finally sees his soulmate? She glances at her scarred wrist, now covered with a watch. What happens then? 

‘ Why? ’ She asks, then there’s Percy sending her a bunch of swimming emojis she can’t understand. 

They were in an abandoned drive-in. Annabeth figures he’s just fully utilizing the old prius Paul has unofficially given him, driving around town even if there’s the chance of another rain. Percy likes going to the beach at night, even when it’s raining, even when it’s snowing and the sky’s as unclear as ever. 

But tonight they were in a drive-in at Gateway, a bit farther north from where she lives. Percy’s full of surprises, of course, and she knows that. But getting her farther north just to get away is a different kind of surprise, even for him. Sometimes she thinks she knows everything about him, but then this . It’s cold, even if summer has already begun, and Annabeth’s thankful because the guy actually brought her a jacket. Her cardigan, to be exact, but then it turned into their cardigan, as what he so persistently says. 

“What are we doing?” 

He glances at the clock on his laptop, before grinning at her. “Waiting.” 

“For what?” 

He shrugs. “I passed NYU.” 

Annabeth felt like a bomb had been dropped right at her doorway. Percy casually looks at her and grins, as if it’s some test that he takes on a casual Friday night. His eyes were glinting, looking at his laptop for a movie that he’d probably illegally downloaded anyway.

“What do you mean you passed NYU?” because she can’t phrase it any other way. Percy didn’t look offended. 

He smiles a bit wider, now a little shy. “The test was really hard, and I was waitlisted for a couple of weeks, but then I found out they’re still seeking scholars in their varsity team, and after three interviews, another recommendation, and a lot of try outs…they finally let me in.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Annabeth asks, because she should’ve been there for him at the time he’s busy at everything life was throwing at him. She vaguely remembers not seeing him for a couple of days, and she thinks he’s just out with friends, as usual, but then he dropped the bomb so casually. 

“I don’t want to disappoint you,” Percy bites his lip, looking down. “Just in case I didn’t make it.” 

Annabeth wanted to say something, but he was on a roll. 

“I…I have attachment issues. I keep thinking, what happens after? After everything?” Percy mutters. “I don’t know why, but I don’t wanna be anywhere without you and I just…” 

Annabeth’s heart sinks, because now she’s realizing just how attached they both were at each other. And now, she feels more in heaven than hell. 

“Then let’s find an apartment together.” She says. “And we’ll be roommates.” 

Percy agrees. 

It was soon that they’re both watching a movie waiting for whatever it is that Percy has in store.

It was an old movie, she remembers. One Sally played when they were at least eleven years old without a clue of what the movie might actually be. Sally was tucking them in and letting them both sleep on her couch, and Percy’s asleep halfway through it, leaning against his mom on one side while Annabeth leaned on Sally on the other, Annabeth criticizing how lame it was back then. Sally only smiles. 

“I remember this.” She told him once they settled on the pillows. “It’s Betty and James, right?” 

“I don’t know.” Percy looks at it blankly. “Mom says it’s a good movie, and now that we’re older we might like it.” 

It turns out it’s a good coming-of-age movie. Sally was right all along. Annabeth admits shedding a tear at the ending when Betty and James didn’t end up together after everything they’ve been through, their bands not belonging to each other, but then it still feels nice to feel seen, she thinks, because somehow she can relate. 

“James is an idiot.” He thinks. “How can he…cheat?” 

“He technically didn’t cheat,” She says, “because they’re not together. And they’re not soulmates either.” 

But Percy was sceptical, looking at Annabeth who’s analyzing every bit of detail in the movie. Percy’s hand finds hers again, holding it a little, squeezing it as a sign of reassurance, and at that moment, Annabeth felt like her world’s frozen to the brim. 

“I don’t like Betty.” Annabeth says, diverting the attention in their almost intertwined hands. “Reminds me so much of what my mom used to call me. Sounds like an old grandma name.” 

Percy chuckles, and she just rolls her eyes at him when he starts saying her nickname. But then the laughing died, and she can feel Percy actually holding her hand.

“You’re not Betty.” Percy mutters. “And I’m not James.” 

He looks at their both intertwined hands. 

Annabeth wonders what he meant by that. His hand was soft and warm, contrary to hers which is probably freezing by now. Percy was interrupted by an alarm, however, and his face only lit up upon seeing it. He takes her to the edge of the nearest cliff from where they’ve driven to, grinning and pulling out a handkerchief.

Close your eyes , she remembers him saying. 

And with one quick motion, she looks up to see what seems to be the northern lights flashing from above them. 

“Is this…?” Because she can only look in awe as the light stirs in different directions. Lights that are faded green, but visible nonetheless, and in Long island in all places. 

“The last sighting was a year ago, and then five years before that.”  He says, still holding her hand. “Watched some news, observed, asked random people on the internet…and it led me to this. Do you like it?“ 

Annabeth wanted to say something, but her heart’s stuck in her throat once more, looking at Percy and wondering how she got lucky in this lifetime, that even after not being his soulmate, she gets to enjoy things and be with him in whatever capacity. 

I love it , She wants to say. But then she can’t say anything, just looking at the guy in admiration. 

She kisses him, and he kisses back with just as much sincerity, holding her under her sweater, smiling fondly as her lips crash on him. 

“I’m in love with you.” He says. “ I’m in love with you, Annabeth Chase. ” 

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan

under someone's bed

you put me on and said I was your favorite

They were twenty and twenty one. 

‘How can I just… waste my time? On someone that’s not even my soulmate?’

The thought crosses her mind as she wakes up to see Percy sleeping next to her. His back was facing her, sunshine glinting on his skin from the apartment window, and Annabeth couldn't help but to admire the small sight of freckles that might have been there once upon a time. Remnants of what happened yesterday starts making its way in her mind- them trying this new Dive Bar downtown with some of her friends, them waving goodbye to said people and driving to a proper date house, and then buying wine for the first time, having a movie kind-of-night in their apartment and then…

Annabeth smiles, tugging the sheets above her bare chest, throwing in the cardigan he’s wearing that night. The smell of smoke from the steak house still lingers and at her desk, a bottle of wine that’s half empty. Her arms link itself on his side, and Percy groans from the contact from where she’s kissing his shoulder. She looks at the band on his wrist, glowing once more, white as snow and she could have sworn she saw a bit of marking, but then her hands dropped, and suddenly it disappeared. 

She now remembers some part of her dream, and she stops kissing him, looking at the ceiling with dread. She didn’t mean to anyway, but there’s still the lingering feeling that Percy will eventually find his soulmate in the middle of New York, and they’d have a connection that she wouldn’t be able to beat no matter how much time she’s had him. 

Did she have him after all?  

He wasn’t hers to lose, she thinks . She’s not his soulmate. 

The thought made her want to double over in pain. 

He was in her dream, talking to a girl clouded from her view, laughing at something that he said and then going home. Annabeth felt like she'd been punched. 

“Percy, wake up.” She whispers. “You’ll be late.” 

If it’s only as easy as marking him with the sharpie she had on his desk, writing her name on his back, making him her own. It never was easy, and she had to live with the guilt of her taking him away from his soulmate, which she shouldn’t feel guilty about. They’re in love . She shouldn’t in any way feel dread, that maybe one day he’s going to walk outside and find her, and then everything will make sense, and they’re going to have children of their own and he’s going to forget that he once loved her. And it hurts . 

And after everything, she thinks she still wanted it. Wanted him and all the uncertainties that lay ahead of them, even if she can’t have him. Even if there comes a point that he’ll leave her behind…she doesn’t want anyone else. She thinks she only wants his shade of blue.

Even if there’s sadness at the end of the journey. 

He smiles at her, kissing her softly, pulling her out of reverie.

“Will you call me?” She asks. “Once you’re back at school?” 

“Always.” 

A friend to all is a friend to none

chase two girls, lose the one

when you are young

 they assume you know nothin'

“Make a wish.” Piper says. 

“What?” Annabeth raises an eyebrow. 

“This isn’t called ‘A fountain that grants wishes’ for nothing.” She chimes, holding out her hand and tossing a penny, and Annabeth watches as it sinks to the bottom along with many other things. She could’ve sworn she saw a sock and a gold band. She figures the things below haven't seen a day of sunshine in their life, the water being as murky as ever. 

“I’m not gonna do that.” She says. 

Many people roamed around Central Park, and she could see people walking hand to hand, their bands glinting together, the sun reflecting some of them. There are people with the same blue bands, same gold ones, maroon, white…and then there’s Annabeth covering her scars with a scrunchie. 

“Don’t you have any wish in life?” She asks. 

And Annabeth thinks. Because there are wishes she’d hope will come true, but it won’t magically be fulfilled by a water fountain that hasn’t been cleaned in a decade. She thinks of Percy first, and thinks of the white metal band on his wrist. 

Annabeth held out a penny in one hand. “This is ridiculous.” 

“They say if it’s your first time in the fountain, you’d most likely have your wishes come true.” Piper nudges her. 

But she only wished for one thing, but it didn’t necessarily go her way, after everything. She would’ve been happy, she thinks, it would’ve been nice…if Percy would be the one. 

She tosses the penny. 

She hears the news first. 

“What do you think of the current soulmate situations?” One of the interviewers asks, and the guy crosses his leg and looks at the audience, grinning. “Wonderful question. I think these soulmate situations suck now, since people are starting to not believe in them anymore, but us conservatives, of course, want a system that will make them believe, hence me proposing a law that soulmates should marry each other.” 

“You’re right, Ed.” One agrees. “We should have a strict law dedicated for the bands, and laws for people that violate them. Now, it’s illegal to buy bands. After that, who knows?” 

“Now that’s just bullshit.” Percy looks up while he’s eating, the slice of pizza forgotten from his plate. 

They were in a diner near central park, eating at Percy’s second favourite pizza place with Jason and Piper in tow. She figures they needed a break, and Jason’s in town coming down from Massachusett, so what better way to spend it than to have a good drink and eat pizza. Annabeth looks at the couple in front of her, also looking at the television behind. 

“If they do that, I think half the world won’t exist.” She says nonchalantly. 

Still, she can’t help but to look at the matching band in Jason and Piper’s wrists, and glance back at hers and Percy's. She remembers her father leaving her for his soulmate- leaving everything they built for, just for the sake of her touch. She can see people in the diner being happy and eating, bands matching each other. There was never a black band in sight, she noticed. Even before her time, black bands were never a thing, and people without markings on their band were generally considered to not have soulmates. 

“There’s so many soulmates right now,” Piper says as if pulling the observation out of her thoughts. 

“Do you believe in it?” Annabeth asks. “I mean, if generally there are no bands and stuff in your wrists.” 

“I guess?” She says, and Jason nods. “I mean there’s also no harm in not believing. You can do whatever you want in life with no one to dictate you.”

Meanwhile there was Percy, looking at his band and biting his lip. Annabeth can’t help but to feel the guilt. 

“I mean,” Jason speaks. “There are statistics. It’s like, 95 percent of people who find their soulmates stay together in marriage. But I think you know, that’s just statistics. It doesn’t mean anyone .” 

She can feel Jason looking at them, probably out of guilt. 

Percy sips his coke, generally looking more annoyed than usual. 

“That’s just statistics. I mean, if you really love each other, what’s stopping you right? It’s not like they’ll take you away all of a sudden.” He  says. 

But Percy was a believer . He believed in soulmates when they were ten playing in her mother’s backyard. He believed in soulmates when they were at the lakes talking about how unfair life is. He believed in soulmates when they were seventeen, thinking of stupid things that they might do in college, looking at the stars and wondering what Percy’s soulmate looked like. He believes in it until now, she thinks, even after everything when he still silently wonders how or when he’ll meet her, and Annabeth wants to drown in silence. 

His hand finds her, but then Annabeth pulls back, smiling sadly. 

Percy frowns. 

“There goes Inez again.” 

‘Who?” 

" Inez ." Piper says again as if that explains everything. 

"Sure," Annabeth chimes in. "Because I totally know her."

They were in her college down in High Line, just a little below Percy’s university. Piper says it’s time for a little girl’s night much to Percy’s disappointment. She wants to take her shopping, even though she’s all up for Museum hopping instead (‘ boring!’ ) and somehow she’s thankful for Piper being here for her once more. Sure, she’s had friends in college after the few years of being in Columbia, but then there’s the sense of Piper’s familiarity and being her friend for years and thinking of her little town in Long Island where the rain’s always eminent, the autumn leaves shining like gold, roads jagged on the edges and people smiling fondly at her. Even when Percy thinks her house is haunted, looking abandoned, it’s still somehow in her own way, she can call it home. 

“Some girl that’s really friendly, like, talks   to you once she sees you type of friendly. She’s just some girl who’s a really firm believer in soulmates. She sees some people, you know, with different bands and she’ll try to say shit about them. Calling them home wreckers, like a stupid bitch. It’s weird because there’s really no home to wreck, the couple was like…they’re a bunch of eighteen year olds.” 

Home wreckers . 

She remembers her dad’s soulmate looking at her with disdain, disgusted to no end. And then Percy. She remembers thinking she’s had him, but then she sees him looking at his band and probably wondering when will he meet her, maybe even hope to meet her soon. Annabeth’s going to be left alone in the end as usual, but that’s okay, because she had it coming. 

She knows . 

It started with the little things. 

It somehow started when Percy came home in the middle of the night, knuckles bloody and eyes gleaming with hate. His hair was a mess, but what’s even worse was the black eye that’s really prominent even from a mile away. Annabeth was watching another documentary that she’s been eyeing for weeks, and then this happened just before she started. He’s supposed to be drinking with the boys, updating her just an hour ago that he’s probably going to be too drunk to reply. Jason was there so it didn’t actually bother her that he wouldn’t be able to come home that night. 

“What happened?” 

And then Percy was pulling a chair in their kitchen, looking like he climbed to hell and back. 

Annabeth’s hand was cupping his face, damping a towel at the bloodstains. 

“I thought you’re just going out with the boys.” 

“ Well ,” He mutters. “The boys are being stupid, aren’t they?” 

“Explain to me how you’re all smiling at me earlier in the call, and now you’re bloody as hell not even an hour later.” 

“I landed the first punch, and you know damn well it hurts.” He says. “Some guy was being an asshole, he said…”

He looks at Annabeth, then at her wrist, guilt looming in his eyes. 

“Just said things. But it’s okay now.” Percy couldn’t look her in the eye. “It doesn’t really matter anymore.” 

He’s lying of course, and he knows Annabeth knows it. He’s never been the one to keep secrets in their relationship, even after everything, Annabeth can read him like an open book. She gave him a full minute to explain, but then there’s Percy absentmindedly kissing her hand while the other one put bandages on his wound. Even when half beaten up to death, he still looks good, but she won’t say it. Not when the guy’s looking at empty space being so consumed by his thoughts. 

It matters though. Because Annabeth knew it was about her. He knew he might have finally punched Dave, seeing as he’s always complaining about him before because the guy won’t shut up about how being with anyone but your soulmate is technically considered cheating. But then Percy always disagrees, and now he might have finally done it. 

“We’re soulmates ,” Percy looks up to her. “We’re soulmates because I say so.” 

“You can’t really dictate who your soulmate is going to be.” Annabeth smiles, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“You know,” He was holding her wrist, the scar barely visible now. “You know, maybe this is the only universe where we’re not soulmates. I mean, we’re soulmates , as far as soulmates go. But maybe, I keep thinking, this is one of them where we can choose . I chose you.” 

Annabeth wanted to say something, anything at all, because she figured he’d watched too many movies. 

“Percy, I-” 

“I just know, in a…different world or something,” Percy grins. “We’re still going to be soulmates. And I’ll come looking for you.” 

He kisses her softly, and she tastes the blood on his lips from where he’s been punched. She wanted to smile, say something comforting, and tell him the same thing. Literally anything to reassure him just fine, but then there’s Percy looking at his band, white as snow, reflecting the glow from their kitchen light. 

She thinks at that moment, she knows everything. But she didn’t. 

And she didn’t say anything. 

Of course, the next few days come, and it absolutely fills her with dread.

“Wait, I’m sorry.” Percy calls after her when they’re walking home. “Annabeth!” 

But she was already jogging away, pushing past people and taking the flight of stairs to enter the subway. Percy was way behind her, doing the same. Of course, she thinks, this is how it ends. This is the day Percy will see his soulmate, and he’ll leave her, and then it’s over . It’s going to be the end of everything they’ve built, and someday he’ll have the perfect family and perfect home and a wife that he’s going to love more than anyone else, and it’ll make sense . Somehow the thought couldn’t leave her as the train’s opening and she’s walking in, people gathering inside until the door’s fully closed. She thought she saw Percy running, trying to catch up, but then the door closes and he’s gone, just like that. 

Percy was calling her. 

She remembers being in the shop with him when he starts getting distracted over what she’s saying, and then he spaces out again, and when she asks him what’s wrong…there was no reply. Then there she was, a girl walking past them with almost the same white markings, something you couldn’t miss from a yard away. She glances at him looking at it, but then he sees the black inks on the band unlike his, and he pulls away, embarrassed. 

Annabeth was looking at him. 

“I…” Percy was left speechless. “I just thought…” 

“It’s okay,” She didn’t meet his eyes. “You don’t have to explain.” 

And then she’s walking away from him. 

Was he throwing it all away? She thinks. Is he tired of her? She remembers her parents calling her names, telling her she knows nothing, saying that she shouldn’t have done what she did. How Percy’s going to leave her like anyone else, because she’s not his soulmate. Her mom once told her that- told her how someday he’ll find his’, and she’s going to be the only thing that matters to him. How she shouldn’t have fallen in love with him, because it wouldn’t work no matter how hard they try. ‘Even the world’s against you,’ She would say. ‘Why does he matter?’

‘Why does it matter?’ Annabeth thinks. ‘ You’re not mine to lose.’

Back then Annabeth was sure of many things, because she knows everything, from when she’s seven looking at the front porch waiting for her dad and his lover at the doorway. From when she’s nine looking at her mom’s drunken facade and sighing to herself. From when she’s twelve smiling at Percy when he’s asking her to move to India without a plan in sight. From when she’s starting high school and looking at Percy running around the grass and screaming before he learns about manners.

But I knew you

playing hide-and-seek and

giving me your weekends

And then Percy’s asking her to come live with him on her weekends. Asking her to come play hide and seek, trying to trick her into playing Peter and Wendy, giving her vanilla ice cream whenever she’s sad. It’s Percy who’s had her arms since day one, when she didn’t have anyone else in the world, when everything was against her. Back when Percy had his head high on the clouds, full of hope. 

“I don’t have a soulmate.”  

She remembers saying, and Percy’s holding his arms out, saying that some things she shouldn’t try to figure out by then, but reassuring her just fine. It’s Percy kissing her until she stops crying when anxiety is holding her down. 

I knew you

your heartbeat on the High Line

once in 20 lifetimes

“ Annabeth. ” 

She answers the sixth call. She can hear him driving, probably having the phone on speakers. 

“I’m sorry.” He says once more. There was the revving of the engine, much louder than what she usually hears, and now she’s wondering just how fast he’s driving. “I’m sorry. I love you. Please say something.” 

“How fast are you driving, Percy?” 

She didn’t wanna talk, not yet. But she figures she might as well ask. 

“Fast enough to give me a heart attack.” He mutters. “I’m at the High Line. Are you home?”

‘Are you home?’

She didn’t mean to think about Long Island. 

She didn’t mean to think about her house across the lake, people passing by holding their umbrellas. She didn’t mean to think about her friends jumping on the dock and laughing at her for not getting in, and she didn’t mean to think about the heavy rain season and the dull spring leaves and the small pine trees, and the snow, and the streetlights and the broken roads. She didn’t want to think about Percy running his skateboard and trying to chance a glimpse of her from the window, smiling as he passed by soaking wet from the rain while Sally waited for him at the end of the road. 

She didn’t mean to think about the cardigan she’s wearing, a good white, now with the hints of sharpie, and wine, and the smell of the ocean. 

She misses home, and everything it was. By this time, their house might have gathered every bit of dust in the area, leaving it gray and dull, floors faded, lights on the porch probably flickering. She wonders how well her mom’s maintaining it, but then she thinks she was never there anyway. 

Her mind drifts back to Percy- the closest person to home she could think of. Even after being in Manhattan for a long time, just by being with Percy feels like home. She wonders just how homesick she'll be if she isn’t with him.

Annabeth pauses, looking at the dreamscape painting on their wall, something they did a while back- a painting of black and white willow trees in the haze and drizzle along with the lakes of Long island. And at that moment, something made sense. 

He’s home . 

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan

under someone's bed

you put me on and said I was your favorite

They were twenty four. 

“I’m tired, Percy!” Annabeth shouts.

There was a crashing of plates in the dining room, and then there’s Annabeth throwing him the flask aiming at his arm, and Percy’s deflecting it just fine, telling her to calm down. But Annabeth couldn’t calm down, anxiety being too much of a weight on her shoulder. He’s trying to walk a couple a few feet near her, but Annabeth wouldn’t let him. 

“Just get out of here!” There are tear stains on her cheeks, crying almost all night and being restless. Percy’s eyes were red, and his hair was unkempt, the strong smell of whiskey prominent just by being a few feet near him. Annabeth thinks it’s his third drink this week, which was weird, since he never drinks this much. He never even drinks, at all . Just a few occasions and that’s just it.  “Go fuck yourself, Percy!” 

“Just listen for once, Annabeth!” 

“I don’t want to listen to you anymore.” She says, but he was on a roll, trying to get her to listen, almost holding out her hand until Annabeth’s spraying him with water in a spray bottle, effectively shutting him up. 

“What was that for?!” 

Percy’s holding his eyes, blinking non stop and wiping himself with his shirt. He sighs, looking at Annabeth who’s too mad at him to care, the spray bottle still in her hand, threatening him once more if he so much as takes another step. 

“Shut up. Shut up. Just Shut up .” 

This feels so familiar it’s as if Annabeth had a flashback from when she was young. Her mother was cursing, as usual, and landing the blows on her father, and then he was out without even so much as looking at Annabeth. She thinks she’s seen this before, and she doesn't like how it ends. It’s always going to be her being left alone, Percy finding his soulmate, and she’s left here looking at the scar from six years ago, but she didn’t regret it. She didn’t regret tearing it apart and placing it in a box never to be seen again. She didn’t regret the things she did then, because she knows . 

She didn’t regret loving Percy and all the uncertainties that lay ahead of them. She didn’t regret kissing him and loving him silently, being with him for the longest time, anxiety with her the whole time no matter how much reassurance he’s given her. Because at the end of the day, it’s Percy holding her and making love to her and giving her everything, but it’s also Percy making her sad whenever she catches the band glowing too much on his wrist. It’s also Percy making her feel the crushing pain of having to overthink again and again if she’s ever worth it, even if he didn’t mean to. 

At the end of the day, it’s Annabeth cursing everything in the world for not granting her the only wish she’s ever had. 

“I’m tired, Percy.” Annabeth cries silently, eyes as red as his. She didn’t even care about her appearance at that time, just putting on a shirt that once was his, but now he’s wearing her cardigan. “I’m really tired. I’m tired from work, I’m tired from being here and I’m tired of being with you. You were never mine, Percy. You’re not mine to lose.” 

Percy remains glued to his place, wanting to say something, but then she says the last sentence and she can see his world falling out of his shoulder. Annabeth didn’t stop. She didn’t know if she meant it, but she’s too tired to care, and even after everything she’s ever given him- everything she has - it still wasn’t enough. It’s as if things are working the way they’re supposed to, the way the world really works, and he’s seeing it. It’s inevitable. It’s like trying to go against the ocean and find yourself drowning, waves crashing and pulling you below the surface, never to see the daylight ever again. 

There’s a scar on her arm, she notices, but she lets it bleed. 

“It’s like, you’ve been chasing two girls all your life, and I’m…I'm only a fucking option!” 

“That’s not true!” He musters the courage to speak. “You’re never a fucking option, Annabeth!” 

“Then fucking show me!” She shouts. “I fucking hate you, Percy.” 

It’s Percy trying his hardest not to cry, now holding her back as she tries to pull away endlessly, crying on his shoulders and pushing him out, punching his chest. 

“I’m trying,” He whispers, tears in his eyes. "I'm trying, Chase." 

“I hate you!” She keeps saying. “I hate you, Jackson. I hate you . I fucking hate you. ” 

To kiss in cars and downtown bars

was all we needed

you drew stars around my scars

but now I'm bleedin'

And suddenly they were twenty one again, walking past people and laughing, hands holding each other as Percy tries to walk her, too drunk to even care if a lamp post will hit her. There's Percy making jokes and Annabeth swaying, slurring her words, hugging him and tugging the hem of his shirt. 

"You've had too much wine," He chuckles, still holding the small of her back. Annabeth finds the comfort of his shoulder while he balances her. “Let’s go home. I…those guys in the bar were looking at you strangely.” 

There was silence while they walked, but Annabeth’s hand stayed on his. 

"I love you, Percy. I love you…to the moon and to saturn.” 

“ What do you even mean at this point? ” Percy's eyes find hers, and he's grinning wide and pinching her cheek, telling her to keep moving forward or they’ll fall over the pavement. She loses his grip for a second, almost tumbling over, and then Percy’s laughing at her and she’s pulling back, annoyed. 

“I’m confessing my love and you’re laughing at me.” She pouts. 

They were making out in his car, in a parking lot just a couple blocks ahead of Dive Bar, the one they usually went into after being finally both legal to drink. Percy’s hands were all over her, and she’s doing the same back, tugging his hair and pulling him closer, and at the moment Annabeth felt like she’s in the clouds. She thinks she doesn’t care if the journey was hell. To be with Percy, and all that he is, and all that he’ll ever be- it’s heaven. This exact moment: the feel of Percy’s kiss on her skin, his band forgotten completely on his wrist, them tangled up in bedsheets after (probably), it’s one of the best things in life. 

He’s looking at her wrist once more, kissing it again and again, tracing invisible stars, and Annabeth thinks it’s enough. 

'Cause I knew you

steppin' on the last train

marked me like a bloodstain

“You’re all good?” He asks her, patting her head and smiling fondly at her. Annabeth smiles back, holding her laptop bag behind and her books in one hand. She’s meant to do a project with her friends that’s waiting for her just outside the station. “Are you sure you don’t want me coming?” 

“I’m good.” Annabeth kisses him. “Besides, you’ll miss your train.” 

It’s true. If he isn’t there in a few minutes, he’ll miss the last train and he'll have to wait another fifteen minutes. His hand finds the scarf covering his marks on her neck and shoulders. And he’s grinning, and Annabeth couldn’t help but to roll her eyes at him for being so persistent in marking her. Of course, Percy will leave hickeys . And of course it’s going to be in one of the most visible part of her body and now she has no time to even apply a concealer and thank god it’s winter and nobody will mind her wearing a fucking scarf in school. 

“There,” He says, adjusting the scarf even more. “I think our hickeys are meant to be the markings. We’re soulmates .” 

She rolls her eyes at him. “Get going! You don’t want to sleep in the subway!” 

“The subway runs 24/7.” He pouts. “You just want to get rid of me, don’t you?” 

“It’s getting late,” She kisses his cheek once more. “Call me once you get home, alright?” 

“Yes, ma’am.” Percy was grinning. “I’ll be alright.” 

He was out of sight, catching the train before the door closed and waving back at her. Annabeth thinks he’s never been so beautiful smiling at her like that. His prominent green eyes, and his hair black as midnight, she thinks… who wouldn’t like him? He’s the kind of guy you’ll meet in the subway and you’ll remember all week. He’s the kind of guy who’ll help you with your coffee order and assist you to your chair, even if he doesn’t even work there. He’s the kind of guy you write songs about- someone so enchanting to meet. 

Annabeth somehow remembers that, looking at him while there are tears in his eyes, and he just wants to get over this fight, the white band on his wrist dulled, and then there’s almost a mark in it, a black mark that almost, almost had a name in it. And then it was gone again. 

I knew you

tried to change the ending

peter losing wendy

“ I hate you ,” Annabeth pulls away. 

“I’ll remove my band.” Percy whispers. “I’ve been thinking about it for a long time…I want to remove my band.” 

Somehow him saying that should’ve made her happy, but she didn’t want Percy removing her band just for her. She didn’t want him sacrificing the possibilities of what his future could be, just because of Annabeth. It kills her knowing that there’s a never ending what ifs that lays ahead of the road in front of them, and Annabeth doesn’t know anything . She hated the fact that they weren’t both in the same situation, that for Annabeth, there’s nothing to throw away. Because she has no soulmate. She’ll never have one no matter how many times she’ll ask for it, no matter how many pennies she’ll toss on the pool at central park, no matter how many times Percy reassures her that he’s her soulmate. 

She doesn’t believe in soulmates, she thinks. She wanted a life she could control. Before everything, she had kept thanking the fates above in not giving her one. The idea of having a soulmate bothers her, because then she wouldn’t be able to do things that she wanted, and how she wanted things to be. Now she wishes that somehow it’s Percy, somehow she hopes it’s Percy . 

But then here he is, telling her that he wanted to remove it, and she curses him for the longest time, because he’s stubborn. 

“No, you won’t .” She glares at him. “You shouldn’t, Percy.” 

“You can’t dictate me!” He’s saying back, but then there’s a difference in his tone, somehow it’s more angry than before. 

“It’s different. I have nothing to lose, Percy. I don’t have a soulmate.” She couldn’t look at him, still, but she was pointing her finger at his chest, trying to suppress her anger. “But you do. You’ll lose everything! Just please…just let me go . You’ll be happier.” 

Because it’s true. Without Annabeth, he’ll be living guilt free looking for his soulmate and being the happiest version of himself. Without Annabeth, he wouldn’t have to think and say things carefully, and maybe someday when he did find her, he wouldn’t look back. 

“I know you’re still looking at it,” She wanted to cry. “I know you’re still waiting .” 

“I’m not!” He was explaining, hands slamming the counter. “I know I did look, but I don’t care Annabeth! I don’t care about anyone else but you!” 

“We’re just not meant to be.” 

“No!” Percy shouts. “You’re my soulmate because I said so!” 

But Percy knew that things don’t always go their way. And he knows Annabeth knew it. She thought about this, whatever they’re fighting about, and it leaves her head aching with just how familiar this scene is. She thought about what happened fifteen years ago. 

“I’m trying !” Percy says once more. “Isn’t this what you want? Something permanent ?” 

Annabeth was tired of crying, sitting in the corner, fatigue coursing through her veins. Percy was on the floor, looking at all the broken pieces of anything - the plates, glasses shattered on the countertop, utensils sitting on the tiles, spray bottles close to her. She sees him looking at the cardigan, somehow now a bit torn from where she pulls it. 

“Is this what you want, Annabeth?” His hand was also scarred, probably from slamming the table too hard. “Tell me! Because goddamnit, I'm trying !” 

“I’ve seen this before.” Annabeth mutters. “And it always ends the same.” 

There's silence in the air.

“ Just leave me .” 

I knew you

Leavin' like a father

Running like water, I

Percy left. 

Of course he will , she thinks. 

He’s gonna leave at some point like everybody did. She sees him packing some of his clothes and crying, hands shaking from frustration. The white cardigan discarded on top of the table, gently folded as if he didn’t want to ruin it anymore than how she did. Percy looks at her direction, crying so hard he couldn’t even meet her eyes. Annabeth wanted to curse at him, say anything that can make her feel like she’s right, because she is , even if it didn’t feel right. She’s right about Percy leaving her, but then there’s the guilt looming on her shoulder along with regret, then there’s the numbing sensation telling her that she shouldn’t be surprised, because she knew it all along. She’s seen this exact moment a dozen times every time she thinks of how she’s going to lose him, and this is exactly how it turned out to be- him packing all his belongings and leaving while Annabeth lost the little bit of sanity she had watching him walk through the door. 

When he did leave, Annabeth was left on the couch crying her heart out, not wanting to so much as glance at the door, or the room, or the kitchen that Percy was somehow cleaning earlier. There is a first in everything, and now she thinks it’s the first time she’s truly felt alone . It’s the first time she felt alone since her mother left her for days when she was nine and she doesn’t have one single friend at all. The first time she felt so alone since her father moved to California to be with his soulmate. Because, she realizes, she was never alone with Percy. She’s never been alone almost all her life because of Percy . Because he was there when she’s crying and removing her bands, he was there when she’s trying to hide in her closet while her teacher embarrassed her, he was there when her mom unofficially left her for days and weeks not knowing when she’ll come back. He was there, in everything, holding her hand out for her. 

It was the first time she looked at her band since she tore it six years ago. It’s still a good midnight black and nothing else. She thought she saw a white reflection of something, but it must have been the lights. There’s the box full of pictures of her and Percy, and then the single gold ring her father gave her when she’s seven. She didn’t think much about him anymore, only the trauma, only the anger, and nothing more. Every single one of the memories he had faded eventually. 

Percy was never like her father. He was soft, patient, gentle, and inviting- kind of like the waves that made their course from the river to the ocean. The kind of water that flows freely from your grasp when you submerge your hand underneath. 

But then she thought of the many times she sees his band glinting in daylight, looking like it shines on its own, and the many people in the streets that somehow had the same band as his, except it doesn’t glow . His band was the only one that glowed . 

And it glowed so bright. 

And when you are young

they assume you know nothing

It’s been three weeks. 

Annabeth finds herself in a grocery store with Piper and Jason in tow near FlatIron, trying on new things Piper’s asking her to, hastily putting stacks of god knows what in her basket. There isn’t much to do, since she’d taken a leave and her company willingly signed it after knowing she was getting a bit more overtime the past few weeks. It’s wild how her body shuts down and focuses solely on work whenever it happens, filling the gap in her mind from thinking of Percy too much. She’d rather sleep in the office than sleep in their bed, which was once comfortable, now just empty. She thanks both of them for tagging her along- Jason, of course, collecting their groceries in the cart and walking behind the girls. 

She spots a couple running around the store, laughing, with matching violet bands on their wrists, and she wonders just how long she’s last been happy. She couldn’t remember. 

It's the rainy season once more, and though it’s not as rainy as she’s accustomed to in her small town in Long island, Manhattan has been a pain both because of her back and the boots she’s wearing that clearly doesn’t fit her. Add the fact that the road’s dirty, and she could’ve sworn seeing rats in the alleys, and loads of them. 

“You think I should go home?” She asks Piper, who’s looking at the difference of korean noodles in the rack. “Shin Ramyun’s better.” 

Piper looks back at her, putting the ramen in Jason's cart. He sighs.  “Home, like right now? Or home, Long Island home?” 

It sinks on her just how much she misses Long Island. She hasn’t been home for a year, and though her mom has been gone for a few months, she thinks she wants to visit their old house with their old television, the dim front porch light, the creaking stairs and the track that they made on a forest near the lakes. There’s the swing by the creek and she imagines them playing for a long time. Is it still there? She thinks. Of course, there’s Sally by the end of the road near a beach not even a mile away, and their picture perfect family- little Estelle and Paul and…Percy. The rain’s probably heavy this time of the year, as it usually is. There’s the colorful Manhattan, but she finds herself looking back and thinking of her monochrome town, and its wet leaves and the petrichor, and the cats freely roaming. 

She thinks of their high school class along with her former classmates she can’t remember the face of, but still familiar nonetheless. Are they still there? Working at the shops and having families? Or did they move out just like she did and settled?

“Long Island.” She glances at her basket. “I miss it.” 

“Go for it.” Piper was encouraging. “I mean, It’s the perfect weather to be there anyway, just chilling in our houses.” 

“We don’t want to leave you though,” Jason was quick to answer, stealing a glance at Piper as if Annabeth wouldn’t notice, and they had a silent agreement over something. 

She knows. 

“I’ll be okay.” She says, looking at Jason. “Tell him that, will you?” 

Of course it’s going to be Percy still trying to look out for her even if he’s not there. Of course he’ll probably ask Jason to look  after her, but Annabeth didn’t need it. Annabeth didn’t need protecting, but she appreciates him, even after all this time. 

But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss

I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs

“How is he?” She asks, not bothering to look. 

Suddenly, even the small ketchup bottle seems to interest her. But she thinks she might have seen Jason flinch, not knowing what or how to tell her. Even after all the work she spends and the night she sleeps through just to get rid of any thought of him, Percy comes back to her every time. It’s nothing unusual, because it’s Percy she usually sees at the start of her morning making coffee for her. It’s Percy that asks her how her day is everyday for years, just listening to her rant about her work, giving her a good massage and waking up next to her cuddled. It’s Percy holding her hand confidently even if he couldn’t talk to her because she’s angry at something. It’s Percy beaming proudly even when she sees the mark of what once was a scar on her wrist beside his’ that’s all glowing and white. 

“ Destructive .” Jason sighs again, looking at Piper once more. “We kinda invited him two days ago for dinner. He doesn’t look well.” 

Annabeth wanted to intervene. 

“But,” Jason continues. “You don’t have to worry about him, Annabeth. Piper and I will make sure he’s okay.” 

He doesn’t look well. 

Of course, he wouldn’t. It’s Annabeth that wanted him gone even after almost begging her, and their fights were toxic, but he’s always been understanding. It’s just him to give up his whole world for her, even if there’s no possibility of what lies ahead of them. Even if he’s giving up his soulmate for her- someone that’s going to understand him so well he’d forgot about her completely. Still, the many what ifs of what they could be haunts her. She’d marry him in a heartbeat, and he knows it…but then maybe someday he’d find her soulmate, just like what her dad did, and…

They’re soulmates , she thinks. He would thank me later.  

“I know,” There’s the feeling of anxiety on her chest. “He’s going to be okay.” 

“How are you holding up these days?” 

Because if there’s anyone that knows her besides Percy, it would be Piper. Piper knew her longing, knew her and her tendency to self destruct, knew her and her sacrifices to get this far in life. 

“Tired.” 

“Are you…” Piper starts. “Are you going to meet him up for closure? A lot of his clothes are still there right?” 

She can remember the last time he kissed her just three weeks ago. She can remember the kiss if she concentrates a bit longer, thinking about him kissing her under the dim light of the kitchen and telling her how his day was. It felt like ages, but the kiss is still there. Will she meet him for closure? She doesn’t know. She misses him so much it hurts, and she thinks she’s only going to cry in his arms if it does happen. She can’t remember being apart for so long with him and now it’s almost a month and she wants nothing but to disappear. 

“I don’t know. I blocked him on everything and I’m afraid if I unblocked him I’ll have a weak moment and just…” She was saying, walking past the chocolate section. Percy loves Ferrero. Her eyebrows scrunched.  “I don’t know.” 

They end up in their apartment while Annabeth packs some of her bags ready to get the hell out of the city. It’s going to be at least two hours given the rain, and she can’t miss the last bus home, seeing as the next one will be at least six am in the morning. She sees pictures of her and Percy on the tv stand, graduation pics and the small achievements and the random polaroids hanging on the wall. There’s Percy with his oversized shirt and the cardigan he stole from her holding a wine glass and smiling shyly at the camera. Maybe she’d keep a few, just for the memory. 

“When will you be back?” Piper says.

"A week." She reassures. "Thank you for being here…I really appreciate it." 

Then there's Piper and Jason at the bus stop, waving goodbye and telling her to be careful. She thinks someday she'll know why everything happens the way they are. There's an old folk saying in her town before, how there's no possible way to mess with fate. Things are always going to be fated . She thought about her removing her band six years ago. Was it fate that led her to where she is now? Or is she supposed to keep the band and just wish for luck to come right through. But then it's cruel, and messy, and she thinks of Percy and how the only one that she wishes to have is never hers to lose. When she was young, she knew everything. She knew how the world works even after not believing in soulmates for a long time, so why then is she so caught up in the fact that she's not destined to be with Percy? 

She knew just how cruel the world was at seven years old. She knew injustice when she saw her mother intoxicate herself away to forget about her dad. She knew how there shouldn't even be soulmates in the first place, because soulmates are made , but there's the lingering feeling of wanting to belong to someone, to Percy , of all people, and she wants that for her. 

Maybe the invisible string was right all along. Maybe that's what she has.  Maybe it's not meant to be black and white. Maybe it's just meant to be Percy and Annabeth and nothing else. 

"Is anyone sitting here?" 

There was an old lady looking down, smiling at her. 

"No," She bites her lip, removing herself out of her train of thought. "Feel free." 

The lady thanks her, and she scoots her things over just fine, muttering 'no problem' and smiling. She thinks she might have seen Percy at the bus stop but it's just someone who had the same clothes as he did. She wouldn't be in town until the next few hours at around two in the morning, depending on which course the bus decides to take. It's almost the seventh day of August, but there's really no indication that the weather's going to be sunny anytime soon.

From her peripheral view she sees the old lady happily humming, knitting a golden thread of what seems to be an outer jacket. 

"That's a cool jacket." She compliments. 

The old lady stops and glances at her. "Why, thank you. You should see my collection, I've got plenty more." 

"Is it wool?" By then Annabeth's getting interested in the conversation, turning her body so she can speak better. 

"A hundred percent." She beams. 

And it's a beauty, she thinks. The old woman also seems to be proud of making it, turning the jacket back and forth and making her look at the seams that's completely intact. She looks at her cardigan that Percy somehow didn't want to bring- now it looked more cream than white, some of the parts were more faded than the others, the small black lining now with a touch of gray and dust. 

She thinks of the many ways she shared this jacket to Percy, and how easy things would have been if she'd only seen it. 

"I don't have a soulmate." The lady says, looking at the scar on her wrist. She had the urge to pull the sleeves lower, but then the woman's showing her wrist at Annabeth, smiling still. 

"Uhm," Annabeth says. 

"I'm sorry, child," The woman looks kind enough, now glancing at the jacket. There's not a hint of guilt when she says it, she notices. But somehow that's even more comforting. "I saw you deep in thought earlier, I just thought I'd come by and say hello. And also let you see my sweater!" 

She made her look at it once more. 

"That's very kind of you." Says Annabeth, not wanting to be rude. 

The woman smiles. "Whatever's bothering you right now…" She places a hand on her sleeves. "It's going to be okay. Everything happens for a reason." 

She wants to say something, literally anything, but the lady seems so kind and entrancing, it's hard not to miss everything she's trying to say. Even her eyes seemed like they knew a lot. 

"I guess." Annabeth wonders if she's going to be like her once she grows up: single and giving random advice on a bus. 

As if on cue, she smiles at her. "I don't have a soulmate, but I do have a partner, and we've been together almost all our lives. You'll realize just how much things are as planned in front of your eyes if only you try to see it. You've been so caught up in monochrome colors, black and white, you don't realize it shining in front of you. We choose our destiny, Annabeth. So choose." 

"How did you-" 

But then there's Annabeth's stop and there's the driver telling her to get off, and then she's looking back at the old lady sitting by the window peacefully smiling and knitting once more- gold threads glinting as they're reflected by the moonlight. 

The smell of smoke would hang around this long

'cause I knew everything when I was young

Her house smells like burnt wood and smoke. The black and white colours were more faded than before, now it just looks like a dull gray. As always, the rain's too heavy to wander outside and the streetlights don't always encompass the roads that's ahead of her. She wonders if Sally and Paul were still up. But then again, maybe they don't even want to see her too, seeing as she broke Percy's heart. 

On this very porch she saw her dad emerging from the hall smiling at her and asking her if she wanted to have a chocolate ice cream thinking he could bribe her, but she ended up with an ice cream and still telling her mom nonetheless. 

She knew . 

On this porch she saw her mom swaying away, drinking too much wine and collecting too many lovers, and yet there's still the look of sadness in her eyes whenever she saw her daughter as if having her was a disgrace. 

She knew .

Annabeth finds herself looking at the old furniture- a painful reminder of what things would've been in the first place. Everything is just a big what if at that point as she sees the discarded things which once belonged to her, or her mom, or her dad. She sees the baseball club from when she joins the softball, her dad cheering at her as she runs across the field, helmet too big and hanging in front of her eyes. She saw the abandoned plane structures in the room, miniature ideas of what could've been the greatest design to ever be witnessed, now just leaving her glad when it's gone. She saw the medals in her room- an overachiever mom who had found her safe space in Annabeth's dad, and now they're both gone like the wind, each having families of their own. She thinks of the many times she saw the film Sally asked them to watch- somehow still painful upon realizing that they didn't end up together as planned, but the journey was one hell of a ride still. 

I knew I'd curse you for the longest time

chasin' shadows in the grocery line

But mostly she thinks of Percy . 

She thinks of the way his hair looked when being windswept, gorgeous as ever. She thinks of the way his eyes smile when she's laughing at whatever dumb things he says. She thinks of the way he bites his lip whenever she mentioned August years ago, and she wonders if he knew. The way his eyes wrinkle in worry whenever Annabeth overthinks, and they find themselves cuddled up on their bed after a long day of work. Percy tries his best not to let her succumb to her thoughts, kissing her gently until she falls asleep. She thought of how lucky she was to be with him, and how even after every trauma she has, he tries to understand all of it. That whenever she tells him just how he'll forget her after everything, his hand couldn't find a way to leave hers. 

There was a knock on her door that sent her back to reality.  She freezes.

I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired

and you'd be standin' in my front porch light

On the very front porch, she sees Percy Jackson soaking in the heavy rain, looking at her with tears in his eyes. 

His wrist was bleeding. 

"I just wanted you to know." He says, " This is me trying ."

And I knew you'd come back to me

"We have the same band, I think?" Percy grins at her, looking at her ceiling instead of studying, letting Annabeth take the wheel and tutor him later instead. His ball went almost too close at her fan, and Annabeth rolled her eyes, pulling the notebook with so much force she almost tore it apart. 

"Oh, really?"  She calls out, asking how he knew, but Percy's still looking at her ceiling, now more concerned with picturing the cream coloured wall. "How did you know?" 

"Jessica from Biology said so." 

"She doesn't know what your band looked like. I doubt they're the same." 

"Hmm, I guess she's lying then." Percy says, sitting up and looking at her with hope in his eyes. "I don't really care much to look. If it comes, it comes." 

"Yeah?" It was her turn to smile. 

"Besides, I have you . None of them matters." 

You'd come back to me

"I thought she's the one." Percy mutters as she tucks him in bed. "Guess not. Just another wasted time. "

"Good riddance." Annabeth whispers, not knowing Percy heard her. 

He laughs, closing his eyes and trying to fall asleep even after getting too much alcohol. Annabeth wonders how he even got alcohol, probably from the adults overpricing it on the street. She remembers Percy grinning at her and looking so sweetly while they were dancing under the streetlight while he's intoxicated. It's snowing, and Annabeth doesn't have any sweater next to her, but Percy wearing her cardigan might have done the trick just fine. She hoped Sally would at least have a spare blanket for her. 

"Hey, Annabeth." 

"Yeah?" 

"You're the best." 

And you'd come back to me

“Is this…?” Because she can only look in awe as the light stirs in different directions. Lights that are faded green, but visible nonetheless, and in Long island in all places. 

“The last sighting was a year ago, and then five years before that.”  He says, still holding her hand. “Watched some news, observed, asked random people on the internet…and it led me to this. Do you like it?“ 

Annabeth wanted to say something, but her heart’s stuck in her throat once more, looking at Percy and wondering how she got lucky in this lifetime, that even after not being his soulmate, she gets to enjoy things and be with him in whatever capacity.

"I like it." 

"I'm in love with you," he says back. 

And you'd come back

"Percy." 

His clothes were wet, and Annabeth doesn't know how long he's been standing on her front porch, but all she can think about is the way his wrist bleeds out, and the way his hair was down, and how he looked like an angel standing on her road. But then he's crying , holding the band on his palm and holding it out for her. 

"I don't regret it." He says, eyes full of hope, glinting. His voice cracks as if he's on the verge of breaking down. "I-I…don't want to be anywhere else, Annabeth. I only want to be here , whether…I'm fighting with you. Or anything ."

Annabeth held back her tears. 

"I only want to be with you ." 

She was hugging him, holding her by his neck as he broke down in her arms. She glances at his wrist, holding it firmly, not letting him bleed out. Because this is Percy , and he might not be hers to lose…

But he is hers to keep. 

She kisses him, crying her heart out. 

"You're August ." She whispers. "You've always been August , Percy."

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan

under someone's bed

you put me on and said I was your favourite

They were twenty eight. 

"Don't you think we might have to get rid of the cardigan?" Annabeth asks him. 

Percy looks up, glasses in his nose, while Annabeth silently thanks the gods above for making him look so beautiful in it. His eyebrows scrunched. 

He held the cardigan in one hand and threw it in, effectively shutting her out. 

"No." Percy says. "It's my favourite. Besides, we've had enough to throw away." 

And she was looking at their new home, with the boxes still intact on the floor. She glances at him once more, wishing she could take a picture while he isn't looking at her. She thinks of the new memories they could have together, and even after living with each other for so long, she wouldn't have even thought of not spending a single day with Percy, and his beat up cardigan. She looks at the picture and the two parallel lines right in front of her, and she thinks of the many reasons that this might just be it. Percy's scar isn't as visible anymore, but she can see the hint of it being there at once. She wonders how much he loves her to do such a thing- something not even her dad did for them when she was young. 

Maybe someday they'd go by the lakes and stay there again, or just get lost in the woods and laugh. Either way, the family that they will build, it's going to be permanent . 

"Why did you come back…before?" She asks him, silently looking at their wrist. 

"There's a lady on the bus before who talked some sense to me." Percy speaks. "He said, I get to choose my destiny. And I chose you, Annabeth." 

"Wait, isn't-" 

"I don't believe in soulmates. But I believe in you and me. I don't believe in black and white, but somehow somewhere there's an invisible string that's tying us together. That's what I believe in." 

Percy kisses her. 

"One single thread of gold tied me to you." 

"What's that?" the girl asked James as they were collecting rocks on the shore. The boy looks up to see his friend curiously holding bands , of all things. 

"Bands." He says, standing up. "It's weird. It's a pair of bands. It looks old too. It's probably been here for years. " 

"Isn't it illegal to get rid of it before? Is it a soulmate band?" 

James looked at the intertwined bands with writings on the side. One of them was a white band with black markings, and the other was a black one with the same markings as the former, now in white. It might have belonged to a soulmate, but it was the first time he's seeing soulmate bands that aren't colour identical to each other. 

"It's a soulmate band." He whispers. 

"What does it say?" 

" Percy Jackson & Annabeth Chase ."