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“No, no fucking way.” Dave chuckled. He was on the phone with the manager of a bar he regularly performed at. “That’s ridiculous.” John stared at the boy from the couch and could only imagine what they were talking about. Dave was staring at the can of beer in front of him like it held the meaning of the universe but in another language. He could only hear the faint hum of the phone from where he was sitting.
“I don’t know man. I don’t know if putting on tits and a wig is really,” He paused, putting his phone between his shoulder and ear and opening the can. “In the cards for me.”
Oh shit. John chuckled to himself. A few moments of Dave listening silently passed. The conversation wrapped up with Dave saying he’d get back to him about it.
“So?” John questioned.
“So?” Dave looked back, pushing his shades up to the top of his head and getting the hair out of his face. “Fuckin’ guy wants me to perform in some drag show tomorrow night.” He said. He seemed against it outwardly but John could tell he was really considering it.
“Maybe you should go for it.” He didn’t dare take his eyes off of his phone. “Ironically, of course.” Dave laughed quietly. “Could be funny.”
—
It doesn’t take much convincing, turns out, to get Dave Strider to do something in the name of irony. John was now trying to zip up some glittery red dress Jade had lent them. It took so much strength for John to keep himself focused. His hands on Dave’s back, straightening the dress, he caught a glimpse of the beauty marks on his back and god he was as beautiful as the name suggested. He deserved them.
“John?” Dave broke the silence.
“All good.” He rushed out. Shit. Dave was staring at him from the mirror, almost studying him. “Do you need help with the wig?” He remembered the long blonde wig sitting beside the sink in front of them.
“No, I think I got this.”
Dave straightened it with his hands and John stood balanced against the wall. He took off his shades to get them out of the way and his red eyes never looked so good with his clothes. The matching shine of the fabric and his irises could put a woman in a trance. Or a man, in John’s case. He looked so focused shifting the cheap wig against his head and pushing his real hair out of the way. He turned to John with a smile on his face and asked,
“How do I look?” John could barely answer, he just smiled back and nodded. Dave looked back to the mirror and put his shades on.
“Do I really need makeup if I’m just gonna be wearing these?”
“Probably not.” John didn’t think he could stand helping him with that on top of everything else tonight. Dave slipped on some flimsy fishnets from an old gag and Jade’s old red heels. His bra was slightly visible from beneath the dress and John could not stop looking at him to save his life.
Dave only had to go up on stage for one song and lip sync, dance around a little, maybe flirt with some of the people in the crowd. He ended up compromising with his manager, the original plan was two to three songs. He’s generally well loved by the regulars at the bar, usually just performing some original songs and being a disc jockey. He gets the best tips there and, if you asked the manager in confidence, you’d find out he’s pretty much keeping the bar in business. John admired him for it. His confidence and ability to go up and perform in front of people a few times a week even when he isn’t particularly happy with some of his recently written songs. He still goes up with stride (no pun intended) and makes the crowd fall in love wherever he goes. Maybe it’s his aviator shades that keep him feeling separated enough.
“Ready.” Dave speaks up, breaking John’s inner monologue.
“Alright.” John fidgets with the keys in his pocket and opens the bathroom door for the two of them.
—
The squealing of brakes takes John out of the daze he’d been in for the entire car ride. Dave begins to get out of the car, but stops when he sees John staying in his seat.
“Are you coming?”
“What? John looks over, surprised. “Do you want me to?”
“Obviously.” He laughs. “You pushed me to do this, you should be here to witness the monster you created.” He pushes some blonde hair off his shoulder and John catches sight of his freckles. He’s a very weak man.
“Also I’ll probably need someone to drive me home.” Dave mutters.
“Okay. I might leave at some point and just sit in the car, this isn’t really my scene.” John laughs and steps out.
“Oh and this is mine?” Dave gestures to the sparkly dress and turns to walk in. The sequins shine in the moonlight and John rolls his eyes.
“I wouldn’t be shocked if you’d done this before.” John teases over his shoulder, looking back to the tall blond. Dave shakes his head. Shuffling through crowds, Dave starts to make his way to the break room to prepare. John goes to sit down before Dave stops him,
“You can come back with me. Karkat won’t mind.” John looks around nervously, not entirely sure if he heard him correctly, and steps into the room with him. The room is dimly lit with red and blue lights, a leather couch in front of many framed album covers, and two people sitting on the couch talking.
“Oh my god, you actually fucking did it.” One of the guys on the couch laughs while the other just shakes his head and smiles. “Thank god you did, Dirk wouldn’t agree to it and Roxy wasn’t feeling good.”
“Don’t get used to this, I’m only doing it because I think it’s funny.” Dave looks back at John and smiles, only slightly but enough to calm his nerves. “This is John, he’s my roommate.” One of the men from the couch stands up and shakes John’s hand.
For a while, Karkat and John would sit on the couch and talk about movies while Dirk added some accessories to Dave’s outfit. They were both very friendly, which shocked John. He had only been to a bar maybe twice in his life and wasn’t sure what to expect. Dirk signals for Dave to go out on stage and he leaves, him and Karkat exchanging a nod.
“I should probably go find a place to sit down, it was nice talking to you though.” John stands up and Karkat nods.
“I can sit with you, so you don’t look like a complete loser out there by yourself.” The two laugh. “I’ll get us drinks.” Karkat offers.
“I can’t drink, I gotta drive Dave home.”
Karkat and John found a small two-person table and had a fancy drink in front of him, nothing John would have willingly ordered himself. Partially due to money and partially due to the fact they were obnoxiously colored as if a little girl had designed it. The music is blaring and John feels almost too warm in his blazer. Maybe it's nerves, maybe it's the absurd amount of people near him, maybe it's maybelline. John is stuck eyeing Dave from where he’s standing behind the stage. He was leaned against a wall, smiling, talking to his brother.
“What are we looking at?” Karkat asked, looking in the general direction John was. His eyes snapped back over to the man across from him.
“Nothing.”
“Dave?” John doesn’t answer, instead sips the drink in front of him. It was too fruity for his taste. “I figured.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” John smiles nervously. Karkat rolls his eyes and finishes his sip.
“You keep heart-eyeing him. I know he makes an attractive girl but you’re like a little dog wagging your tail every time he talks to you.” He just smiles. It was embarrassing how obvious John’s crush on Dave was but it was so hard not to be head over heels. He’d seen Dave shirtless countless times and somehow this is what makes him a wreck. Maybe he wasn’t even gay, if he likes him in a dress so much. That would be way easier.
Before John can respond properly, the lights dim and the music quiets throughout the place. Dirk walks up to a microphone sitting on stage and several people start cheering. He does his usual “how is everyone tonight” spiel and John, just like most of the crowd, is entranced. Something about the way the Striders and their sisters present themselves feels so rehearsed and smooth it’s unbelievable sometimes.
“We have a special event for y’all tonight, someone you all know and love is going to perform something for everyone they’ve never done tonight. In the spirit of pride month, we present to you, Dove Strider.” Everyone is cheering, shouting, whistling and John can’t help but follow them when Dave comes on stage. He put on a leather jacket backstage only to slide it off in a seductive manner when the music started. John had heard the song somewhere, some Madonna song.
Dave lip syncs and struts around the stage while everyone watches closely. He made his way off the stage to interact with a few people, one of them being John himself. He’d clearly had a few drinks backstage to ease himself into the act, the way he was bumbling and smiling. When he gets to John he leans in close to his face, just a microphone separating them and speaks the lyrics into the mic. He goes around to some more men in the crowd, taking tips from enthusiastic audience members.
John is a disaster. He can hardly think or feel his hands after what happened. His face is incredibly hot and he decides it’s because of the heat of the building, not his pounding heart.
The music ends and everyone is applauding. Karkat smiles like a proud father as Dave blows kisses into the crowd and walks off. John can’t even believe what he just saw. He’d never seen Dave act like that, even though he knew it was just a joke. John looks down at the buzzing in his lap and sees a text from Dave.
TG: howd i do
EB: you honestly were amazing, everyone loved you.
Everyone.
TG: thnaks
TG: dirk gaveme the name
EB: haha i figured.
TG: come dance withme
EB: is that where you are?
TG: yes stop being a psusy
TG: pussyy
EB: ok ok fine. stay there i’ll come to you.
John stood up from his seat, Karkat looked up at him and raised an eyebrow.
“Dave asked me to go and dance with him. I’ll be back,” He looks to the direction of the dance floor where Dave is. “Probably.” The two laugh quietly and John heads over.
Dave takes a final swig of the drink he was holding before grabbing John’s shoulder and dancing with him. He wasn’t great, nor did the hip-hop style he was trying to do match the music, but he was drunk and having fun. People around him were cheering him on, a girl tried to grind on him, but Dave just flipped her around and started very badly twerking on her. She laughed and went back to her friends while John watched, still holding his drink.
“John made me do this.” Dave pointed to the brunette in the crowd of people and a few laughed. “Hope you guys are enjoying it because Dove Strider dies tonight.” Dirk hands him another drink and John starts to get the feeling he should stop him. But for now, he stands on the edge of the dance floor and watches as his childhood friend and crush dances around happily.
—
“Fuck off, I can walk.” Dave manages to get out, still slurred together as John pulls his arm over his shoulder. He’s stumbling and still smiling from the events of the night. Despite his protests, he makes no effort to stop him. John smiles at the bouncer as they walk out and carefully navigates Dave down the few steps out.
“Let’s get you to the car big guy.” John speaks quietly. He was completely out of energy, and after watching Dave badly attempt to flirt with a few women, he just wanted to get home and forget about tonight.
“That’s big girl to you.” Dave mumbled. John can’t help but laugh. His dress straps are halfway down his shoulders and his heels are in his unoccupied hand. “Hot girl too.” Dave adds seconds later.
“Yeah.” John agrees. It’s not like Dave would pick up on his obvious hinting the way he is.
“You’re real sweet for this, y’know.” Dave tries to look up at him, but his eyes are half closed and his shades are practically falling off his face. John looks for a second and looks away. His heart is pounding. Just get him to the car, he thinks. It’ll be over soon.
Before he can even get to the sidewalk, Dave leans up and kisses John on the cheek. John stops where he’s stood and his mouth falls open. When he goes to look back at him, Dave is completely passed out in his arms.
He smiles like a child again and rushes them both to the car. It’s still slow, having to carry him over but he manages to get him situated. He pulls out his phone before he leaves the parking lot and opens his messages with Jade.
EB: HE KISSED ME?
EB: jade for the love of god i know it’s late but wake up!!!
EB: this is so important!!!
GG: what?!?!
GG: tell me EVERYTHING!!!!!! :O
EB: yeah ok i will i just.
EB: i need to get us home first!!
EB: holy shit.
GG: drive safely!!!! don’t have a heart attack while driving please!!!
EB: no promises!!!!!!
John drives the rest of the way home almost holding his breath. He stares at a red light and thinks about the events of the night. He had no idea what Dave’s sexuality was, he didn’t know if Dave knew either. Maybe he only kissed him because he was drunk. Maybe he thought John was a girl. Maybe he liked John back and it took him getting shitfaced to express it.
—
The stopping of the car when John reaches the driveway wakes Dave up. A bit of a relief for John, he didn’t think he had the heart to do it himself.
John opens his door and Dave’s, having to unbuckle him and pull him out like a toddler.
“John?” Dave speaks so quietly John isn’t even sure if he actually said anything.
“Yeah?” John looks down at him and his shades are completely off. His red eyes are glossed over and he’s smiling. Fuck.
“This dress is fucking itchy.” Dave laughs a little between words.
“I know. Let’s get you changed and into bed.” John speaks the same way his dad would to him as a child. Except instead of a crying six year old there’s a drunk twenty-three year old.
When he manages to get them both upstairs, he hands Dave some clothes and stands outside the bathroom as he changes.
“I can’t get the zipper.” Dave calls from the other side of the door. John sighs and walks in. He doesn’t think Dave knows what happened less than twenty minutes ago and he starts to second guess himself. He helps Dave with the zipper on his dress and Dave doesn’t wait until he’s out of the room to start sliding it off. John looks away despite his instincts. He looks over for just a second to make sure he’s okay and Dave is in nothing but boxers. His hair is a mess from the wig and his shades are on the counter. John quickly looks away again and lets out a shaky breath.
“I’m gonna,” John looks down. “I’ll be in your room waiting.” He hurries out and waits for Dave to finish changing. Dave’s phone is on the bedside table, going off rapidly. Grey text fills his lock screen. Someone telling him good luck, he did good, and to rest tomorrow.
John can hardly breathe. Tonight has been too much and he decides he’s just looking too deep into it. Dave is straight and so is he. This isn’t something guys normally feel for their best friends. He only felt like this because Dave looked like a girl.
But even then, why did he kiss him?
John’s breakdown of everything is cut short by the door opening and Dave stumbling over to the bed. He neglected the shirt he was given and settled for just sweatpants. He lays clumsily into the bed and pulls on John’s sleeve.
“What’s up?”
“Come here.”
John walks to the other side of the bed. Dave gestures to come closer. He leans down and Dave grabs his shoulders, kissing him on the mouth.
John is completely speechless. Dave is asleep again, and John is sat kneeling beside his bed and watching as his blonde eyelashes fall closed. John hesitantly stands up, deciding it’s creepy to watch him sleep, and makes his way to his room. He pulls out his phone and texts Jade, knowing she’s asleep again by now.
EB: you’re never gonna believe this.