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Miles started at the man who wasn’t going to let him save his dad, who thought being Spider-Man meant losing someone you loved, someone who made you who you were, just because you got bit by some random Spider.
He felt a rage bubble up inside of him. Who was he? Who was Miguel O’Hara, to tell him that his dad was going to die then forbid him from saving him?
Miles wasn’t even in the Spider-Society, he didn’t have to follow their dumb rules.
“Miles, please understand.” Peter started. Peter. The man who taught him how to be Spider-Man in the first place. The man now knew what he’d already lost and what it could do to him to loose someone else.
Miles made his choice. Like Hobie said, being Spider-Man was about being independent, being your own boss. “You can’t ask me not to save my-”
“Oh my god!” A voice cut through, interrupting Miles and snapping Miguel’s intense stare of attention up to the intruder. A man in a red suit, with black marks like a clown’s eye makeup, came bounding into the room with the energy of an unwalked Spaniel.
“Spidey, he looks like you but middle-aged!” The man yelled, running up to Peter and hugging him.
Jessica Drew gave an exasperated sighed under her breath and Miguel gave an exhausted blink.
“Are you single?” The man asked as he pulled away from the hug attack.
“No!” Peter yelled, quick and panicked as he motioned for Hobie to pass Mayday back to him. “Happily married with a kid.”
He held Mayday up like a shield against an enemy, and the kid giggled.
“Sorry!” A Spider-Man came running in after the guy. “Sorry he’s with me!”
Miles watched, his fury slipping away into confusion for the time being. Jessica turned to the Spider-Man, who Miles assumed must be another Peter Parker. “What is he doing here?”
“You can’t kick me out!” The man cried before holding out a wrist with a day-pass on it. “I have the magic friendship bracelet of anti-glitch!”
“I told you to stay where I could see you.” The Spider-Man hissed, yanking his friend back to him with a web. He turned to the others. “Sorry about Deadpool. He’s helping me find backup for a mission on my Earth and wanted to see what was going on over here.”
“You can’t just bring people here without clearance!” Jessica warned them.
The guy, Deadpool apparently, laughed and went to say something before his eyes locked onto Gwen. “Oh! Spider-Gwen right?”
“That’s not either of my names.” Gwen said. “And it defeats the purpose of a secret identity.”
“Yeah, maybe.” Deadpool shrugged. “Did you know there’s a Gwenpool?”
“What?” She asked. “Gwen is always Spider-Woman or Spider-Man’s girlfriend.”
Miles felt a little flutter of butterflies at the reminder of that. In every universe Gwen falls for Spider-Man, she’d said.
“Well, sometimes she’s got nothing to do with Spiders and sometimes she looks like me but with a white and pink suit!” Deadpool laughed. “Her katanas are pink and everything!”
Gwen hummed, like she didn’t know where to go with that.
Mikes cleared his throat. “Surely ‘Gwenpool’ defeats the purpose of a secret identity too?”
Deadpool’s eyes snapped to him and his face somehow lit up through the mask. “Peter! It’s another dimension’s version of Baby-Spider!”
He ran over and patted Miles’ head like he was trying to ruffle his hair.
“I’m sorry, Baby-Spider?” Miles demanded as he took a harsh step back and glanced at Gwen as she gave a small laugh.
“That is an amazing alias.” Hobie said sarcastically with a smirk and Miles scowled in embarrassment. He noted that Hobie had subtly taken a step forwards, creating a small barrier between Miles and this random man in a red suit, covered head to toe in weapons.
The Peter came over and hit his Deadpool on the arm. “Our Miles hates it when you call him that. It completely undermines how good a hero he is.”
Miles hummed. “You guys have a Miles Morales?”
“Yeah,” the Spider-Man began. “Well, he’s not from our dimension, but he’s been living on our Earth. Earth 616 that is.”
“What?” Miguel demanded and Jessica and Gwen looked up to him. “How is that possible?”
“How is dimensional travel possible?” Deadpool laughed, before turning to the vampire. “Didn’t you… oh my Oscar Isaac, that is a man if I’ve ever seen one.”
Miguel pushed forwards to Deadpool and grabbed him by the scruff of his suit, an action that Miles noticed put the Spider-Man he came with on edge. “No! How is it possible that he’s living on the wrong Earth without-”
The Deadpool interrupted him with a loud, very unmanly, squeak and his Spider-Man doped his head to his hand. “Sorry, yelling is one of his turn-ons.”
Miles couldn’t help but laugh as the comment made Miguel pause and he pinned the Spider-Man with a judgmental look. “How do you know that?”
“Only if it’s appropriate!” Peter B said, covering Mayday’s ears.
“No!” 616 Peter said, looking offended. “He’s just an over-sharer.”
“I could tell you all about that, if you wanted to go somewhere private.” The Deadpool said to Miguel, who threw the man on the ground and stormed off, looking stressed.
“What did I tell you about being sensible?” 616 Spider-Man demanded.
“Not to?” Deadpool asked. “Listen Babyboy, you took me to a dimension full of Spider people and expected me not to be a simp. You set me up for failure!”
“More like slut.” Hobie mumbled under his breath and knocked Miles on the arm. “Am I right, mate?”
Miles glanced at him, but didn’t answer.
The Spider-Man crouched down in front of Deadpool and Miles overheard Peter B mumble, “I wish my ass still looked like that.”
“Listen DP,” the Spider-Man started. “You like me right?”
“Of course, we’re heartmates aren’t we?” He asked with a teasing grin in his voice.
“Right.” The Peter said reluctantly. “Well, how about this: if I go out with you-”
“Yes, absolutely whatever you say, yes.” Deadpool interrupted.
“Ah, na he was right.” Hobie said. “Tha’s simp behaviour, that is.”
616 Spider-Man paused. “Cool.”
“Wait what was the condition?” Deadpool asked.
“It doesn’t matter now, you’ve already said yes to being my boyfriend.” He said as he stood up, though there was something in his voice. Something that indicated that was not the end the the discussion.
“Where is he going with this?” Gwen mumbled to Miles, who shrugged.
Deadpool grinned as 616 Peter pulled him to his feet. “great! Now-”
“And as your boyfriend, I expect full loyalty to me.” The Spider-Man interrupted and Hobie nodded in understanding of the situation. “That means no looking at, no harassing, no flirting with, no ogling, no chatting up and no simping for any other Spider-People.”
“What?! Babyboy!” Then Deadpool grew suspicious. “This is just to contain me, isn’t it? I know your evil ways, you’re going to break up with me right after we leave!”
“Well that depends on how good you are.” 616 Spider-Man said.
“Oh I’m very-”
“Good as in well behaved!” The Spider-Man interrupted.
“Can I just remind everyone here that there are young ears present?” Peter B gestured to Mayday, who he’d put back in her baby carrier thing.
The Deadpool ignored him. “But Petey Pie, I didn’t even get a chance to simp for the badass with the baby badass bump!”
Jessica winced. “Don’t call it a baby badass bump.”
Deadpool pointed at her stomach. “It’s going to be a badass baby!”
“Yeah,” Jessica sighed out a chuckle. “Yeah, they are.”
“Okay well, if you want to flirt with her break up with me.”
Deadpool sighed. “I can’t do that.”
“I gotta say,” Miles started. “That was a surprisingly effective way to get him to stop.”
Hobie hummed. “Yeah, odd way about it, that was.”
“Oh!” Deadpool turned to him. “You’re like a British Spider-Punk… actually I’m going to backtrack. I feel like anything I say is going to be called out as politically incorrect.”
Hobie shrugged. “Political correctness is a made up term that politicians use to pretend to care about issues that get them votes.”
“See!” Deadpool threw his arms up in the air. “I still got it wrong!”
“Hobie, aren’t all terms made up?” Gwen asked and Hobie huffed at her.
“Hobie? Like Hobie Brown?” 616 Spider-Man asked and Hobie nodded. “We’ve got a version of him. He’s American though.”
“That doesn’t feel right.” Hobie complained.
“Yeah, in our dimension we’ve got really similar bodies so he pretends to be me when Spider-Man needs to be in the same place as my secret identity.” 616 Peter explained and their Hobie hummed.
“I still can’t believe I didn’t notice he wasn’t you before you trusted me with your identity.” Deadpool complained. “Also, how’d you figure out you looked the same, Spidey-Boy? That’s weird.”
The Spider-Man rolled his eyes, somehow visible through his mask, and grabbed Deadpool by the wrist. “Sorry again for interrupting, we’ll be off now.”
He tugged Deadpool away just as Miguel reproached the group of Spider themed heroes.
Hobie grunted. “Well, that was weird.”
“I second that.” Miles agreed. “Anyway, where were we?”
“You were saying about your dad.” Peter B reminded him.
“Oh right, thanks.” Miles nodded, turning back to Miguel. “You can’t ask me not to save my dad!”
“I’m not asking.”