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Quackity hated how he looked currently. He looked like he hadn't slept in days. He hasn't slept in days.
He hasn't been the same since that one day. He should have known, should have known something would happen.
But he didn't do anything. And now his child is gone forever.
Sure, thinking of Slimecicle as his child was weird, but he always liked that idea.
He failed to be a parent to Tubbo, so he tried again.
He failed once again, failing to protect the ones he loved.
If he hadn't been so downright stupid, Slimecicle would be alive right now.
The avian (or, 'duck', as his rival would say) sighed, rubbing at his temple.
He had trusted Purpled, and the alien just betrayed him.
Maybe it was his own fault? He did blow up Purpleds UFO.
Quackity felt sick at that thought. Was it his fault for Slimecicle dying?
His eyes trailed down to his hands. The burn marks from the lava were still there.
No matter how many bandages he wore, he was reminded of his mistakes. The marks would always be there, taunting him.
He was disgusted in himself.
Quackitys breaths came out shaky and short.
He didn't feel okay. This was all his fault, his child was dead because of his actions.
He stood up from his desk, running to the nearest bathroom.
He vomited into the toilet.
After a few dry heaves, Quackity rested his head on the side of the toilet.
The only thing Quackity could hear was his ears ringing.
Tears sprung into the bottom of his eyes. He felt so guilty.
He shouldn't have blown up Purpleds UFO. Maybe that was the reason the alien killed Slimecicle.
Or the revival book? Quackity didn't even have it.
All he wanted was to bring his husband back. He missed him.
Quackity was tired of this already.
He threw up a chunk into the toilet, coughing.
He didn't care who could comfort him at this point. He'd take his rival at this point.
He wanted to feel better. To not feel guilty for this shit.
His wings shook as he vomited into the toilet, tears streaming down his face.
He blinked a few times, desperately trying to get the tears out of his eyes.
Everything hurt.
Quackitys vision slowly went dark.
-
When Quackity awoke, he felt dizzy.
He slowly sat up, wiping his eyes.
He didn't know what to feel. Should he feel guilty? Sad? Angry?
Maybe guilt was the right one. Slimecicles death was mainly his fault, after all.
The avian stood up on shaky legs, holding onto the toilet for support.
He felt stupid.
He still remembers what Slimecicle said to him.
"Thank you for teaching me what it's like to be human"
Quackity flushed the toilet, walking over to the sink. He turned on the faucet, grabbing his toothbrush.
Quackity knew he'd always be the one to hurt other people. Even if he didn't want to, he always hurt the ones he cared for.
He put his toothbrush under the water, before hesitantly brushing his teeth.
He didn't want the taste of vomit in his mouth. That was the only reason he was doing it.
Slimecicle helped him heal. He threw that all out.
Quackity walked out of the bathroom, going back to his desk. The avian wiped his eyes.
He ran a hand through his hair, grumbling to himself.
Quackity sat down, pulling his knees up to his chest. He shakily grabbed a pen, starting to sign documents.
The black-haired man stopped suddenly, hands shaking.
He burst out sobbing, setting down the pen.
Why was he like this?
He remembers teaching Slimecicle how to mine. Teaching the slime to read and write.
He shuddered, wrapping his arms around his legs.
He let out more sobs, some gasps in between them.
He feels sick to his stomach. Why couldn't he be normal?
He wishes he could go back in time. Go back in time and avoid conflict, so he couldn't lose the ones he loved so much.
Quackity was just a stupid avian, who couldn't even fly. He was useless at that point.
He wishes he could roam the skies. Like how the other avians he used to see would.
He doesn't like being alone. Yet, here he is, alone in his office.
He'd take Wilbur's company at this point. Anything to be happy, not alone.
He felt so tiny in this huge world.
He took a deep breath, muttering; "I need to be strong."
He wishes he didn't have to be strong anymore.
Quackity looks at the pictures on the walls.
There's a photo of the Las Nevadas crew, Purpleds face scribbled out. There's his fiance's Karl and Sapnap with him.
There's a picture of himself and Slimecicle.
He misses all of them.
Sure, the Las Nevadas crew is near, but he shouldn't bother them. They probably have enough on their plates.
He doesn't want the Las Nevadas crew, though. He wants his fiance's Karl and Sapnap. He misses them so badly.
He wants Slimecicle.
They're all long gone though. They all left him.
Karl hates him, Quackity is pretty sure Sapnap does too, and Slimecicles dead.
Maybe he could go to Wilbur?
No, no! They're enemies, he can't talk to Wilbur about this. Wilbur has used everything against him, so he would do it again.
He'll deal with this himself.
That night, he felt like the world stopped.